[whimsical music playing]
[woman] Ah, there's Daddy!
Look, there's Daddy!
Hi, Daddy!
Do you wanna go say hi to Daddy?
There's Daddy!
[man] He's just an absolute joy.
He's just a lovely little personality.
To have a little Nelson. One for my team.
I'm looking forward
to get out there, do boys things together.
Bit of rough and tumble.
[parents laugh]
[man] In order to function in the world,
we need to have
some kind of understanding of who we are.
Are you ready?
Are you ready?
[baby laughing]
So how do we construct this idea of self?
[Charlie blowing raspberry]
And what are the basic ingredients?
Where's my baby?
[man] When do babies come to understand
that they are a unique individual
with their own identity…
Dad-dy, Nelson.
[man] …their own passions?
[Charlie]
Look at that, Nelson. Built for racing.
[Charlie] It's a chance
to introduce Nelson to fast cars
and start to start off his ambitions
to possibly be another Lewis Hamilton.
[Nelson cooing]
[man 2] Genetics is the biggest thing
you give your child,
but it only counts
for about 50% of who we are.
So that the important question,
the question
I've always been interested in,
is what makes us 100% individuals.
[woman] Is it nature or nurture
that really determines who we are?
[Charlie] Go for an overtaking maneuver.
What I'm gonna tell you
is that it's never one or the other.
[Charlie] Vrrrrooom.
The most marvelous things
that make us who we are
are absolutely a product of those
two things working together
in ways that are so intricate
and so complex
that we're just beginning
to scratch the surface,
to understand:
How did I become me?
How did I personally come to be
who I am as a human being?
[Charlie]
You ready for your coffee?
[Morning-Star] When I'm feeding him,
he would bite me
and I will be, "No, Nelson."
He knows it's wrong.
So yeah, he's definitely getting cheekier.
-One.
-No, baby.
-Two.
-No.
Three!
-[Nelson coos]
-[Morning-Star laughs, claps]
[Charlie] He's got this lovely nature
that will stand him in great stead in life
if he can take things nice and easy...
Not sort of over-blow things...
You know, I think it's a great start.
Say mommy. Mommy! Mommy!
[Nelson cooing]
[Morning-Star] Daddy!
Well, he did say mommy though.
[Charlie chuckles]
Now let's show Mommy. Come on then.
Stand up. Good boy.
[kisses] Where's Mama?
[Nelson laughs]
[Morning-Star] If I lift him up,
and I say, "Where's Mommy?"
then he points at me.
Where's Mommy?
Who's that baby?
Is this-- Is that Nelson?
No? It's not Nelson?
Who's that then? Who's that then?
And when I say, "Where's Nelson?"
he doesn't point at himself.
-[Nelson] Mama.
-Mama?
I don't think he knows that
the baby in the mirror is himself.
Come to Mama then.
[man] My earliest memory as a child...
I took off with my dog
and disappeared for six hours.
I think it characterizes me
relatively well because I am a roamer.
And I like to roam the world
and I like to meet people.
And I'm fascinated
by people's trajectories.
I like to create friendships with people
from different social classes
and learning from them.
And I try to probably find
a bit myself in meeting other people.
[Rochat] I always had
affinities with babies.
I always wonder
what's going on in their head.
When you look at a crawler,
let's say like a nine-month-old,
ten-month-old baby roaming around,
I've always wondered
what guides them, what intrigues them,
what captivates them.
I always thought that for that reason
that babies were the gatekeepers
of who we are as humans.
In order to become who you are
you first need to discover
you existed at all.
So for baby this means
they need to first understand that they
are different and separate from others.
They need to become self-aware.
When I look at my own reflection,
I recognize that the face
staring back is me.
I am self-aware.
But the newborn cannot
recognize him or herself in the mirror.
This trait doesn't come online
until 18 months of age.
[Rochat] For almost 50 years,
there has been a scientific test
that is the gold standard
of self-recognition...
and that is the mirror mark test.
So the mirror mark test consists in
marking the individual,
and the passing of the mirror mark test
is expressed by the child
touching directly
toward the mark they discover
in the mirror on their own body.
Either trying to remove it
or just touching to see what it is.
So the idea is
that it would demonstrate that
the child did not see
the mirror reflection
as another child, okay,
but see the... the mirror
reflection as themselves.
Elephants, chimpanzees, dolphins,
even magpies and more recently fish
are passing the mirror mark test.
And humans typically pass
the mirror mark test by 18 months.
But I deeply felt that this
only tells part of the story.
The question was,
does that mean that before
the child has no notion
about who they are?
So in the early 2000s,
we came up with an experiment to see
how self-aware babies are
in their first year.
So welcome to the lab.
For example, can they tell the difference
between a reflection of themselves
and someone who is pretending to be them?
[Rochat] So you can sit Nori
on the highchair.
Alright!
[cooing]
[Rochat] Essentially,
we place the infant in a high chair
looking inside a box.
And in this box was a mirror.
The child looks in the mirror
at their own reflection.
And then we simply...
switch their own reflection...
with the reflection of another person
dressing the same,
mimicking the child.
[baby coos]
So the question was: will they detect any
difference between the two conditions?
We found that from four months
of age, which is very young,
babies tend to engage differently
with their own reflection
compared to
the mimicking other.
Visually, they tend to attend
more to the other than the self.
They tend to smile more at the other
than the self.
The fact that the child smiles
more toward the other
indicates that the kid is socially engaged
with the mimicking other
and is less with the self
reflected in the mirror.
It suggests that the mimicking other
is seen as a social partner
that is different from the self.
Long before the child
can recognize herself in the mirror
babies behave in a way that demonstrates
that they have an implicit sense of self.
And this emerging self-awareness
is happening
at a much earlier age
than was previously thought.
[man] Gonna have a baby.
-[woman] I don't think he's coming out.
-He is coming out.
-We're gonna have a baby.
-Another one.
Yes, here. You see here.
[crying]
[parents murmuring]
It's okay, it's okay, shh, shh.
-[stops crying]
-Well done. Well done.
[woman] Did you see him?
It's Hugo.
-It's still big.
-Yeah, I know it's still big, yeah.
-[girl kisses]
-[man] Aww.
[shushing]
[in French] Ah, there you go.
Is that what was bothering you?
[in English]
This is Hugo playing on his play mat.
He seems a lot more physical
than Lola was,
so I'm wondering if he's gonna be
a bit more kind of active and sporty.
He's much more engaged
with his toys as well.
He's looking at things.
He's grabbing things
and he's actually able to grab them.
[Natasha] Well done.
Look at that.
[Rochat]
My research and the research of others
tells me
that this journey
toward the self
starts from birth when babies are
discovering their own body
in perceiving and acting in the world.
[Morning-Star]
Oh, that was a nice hit.
[Rochat] So what is remarkable with babies
is that you can see this
when infants start to orient the hands
towards objects
and show what we call
"pre-reaching behavior."
[Ryan] Oh, that's it. Have a grab at it.
[Rochat] When they see something
pretty close to them,
they will track this object...
with eye movement and head rotation.
But in addition to that,
they tend to throw their hand forward...
actually anticipating
the trajectory of the object.
[Natasha] We're very good with our hands.
Hello, Mama.
[Rochat] So as the child acts
and behaves in the world,
in a seemingly random fashion,
actually, the child is constructing
a sense of their own body
as a functioning entity
among other entities in the world.
And this is very important.
This is the beginning of their journey
to building a sense of self.
I think the message to parents
is the fact that letting your kid
explore and self-initiate
playful activity in the world
is necessary for your child to develop
as a healthy individual
that can eventually develop and prosper
with an identity, a productive identity.
[woman] Let's not be crabby.
Burp time.
So, this is Mila.
And she has a twin brother named Lincoln.
Hi.
-[burps]
-Oh, good one. Oh, boy.
Okay. Okay.
Because I have two,
one's always the easier one
and the other one's the harder one.
Then they flip-flop.
We're gonna go
to the hot air balloon festival.
And it's hard for me to keep track
of how their personalities are evolving.
Because it's a really hard time
with not a lot of sleep,
and it's hard for me to gauge it.
Hey, hey, hey.
[Victoria] There you go.
-Here's the baby.
-Hey, buddy.
[Victoria]
You've never seen a hot air balloon.
Yeah, maybe we'll take a ride in one.
Balloon's taking off.
If I had to just guess
about how their personalities
and their lives are going to turn out...
I think Mila is gonna be
someone who gives orders.
Hi.
Like, she is ferocious
about getting what she wants.
Don't laugh.
Don't laugh when someone calls you crazy.
But Lincoln...
[Victoria] You see that big balloon?
[Ryan] He's definitely more the person
to go with the flow.
-That's a hot air balloon.
-[Ryan] How about that?
Relaxed, smiley, huggy,
carefree type of guy.
I know. It's a balloon.
Look at this one going up, buddy.
I know I'm talking about a baby here,
but I just get that impression.
I think genetics are one of the most
important things in a person.
That being said, I think at this point
the kids don't know much.
The only thing they really know
is secure versus insecure.
They want Mom.
They know they want her attention.
They know they like attention and that
some things make them uncomfortable.
[man] From early on, I wanted
to study the genetics.
It's amazing to look back
at the 45 years of my career
and to see how much the field has changed.
I do think there's increasing acceptance
of the importance of genetics.
It's changing the way
we think about parenting,
and why are children
in the same family so different.
I always felt very different
from my family
in that I loved books
from as early as I could remember.
We didn't have a single book
in our house, literally.
But we had a public library.
And I'd go there with my little red wagon,
and fill it up with books,
and I'd bring it home,
and reading was the main thing I did.
In contrast, my sister was slow to read
and didn't like to read
and didn't do well at school.
But I loved school. You know, it was easy.
I really couldn't understand how I could
be so different from my family.
So, a question that's driven me
in my 45 years of research is:
what makes us
who we are as individuals?
What makes people different?
[car horn honking]
[Plomin] From Freud onwards, this issue,
often referred to as nature and nurture,
was completely dominated by nurture.
Psychologists assumed that what makes us
who we are is the environment.
Nature is the idea
that genetics might be important.
When I was in graduate school,
one of the required courses
all graduate students had to take was
in this area called behavioral genetics.
The study of inherited DNA differences
as they affect individual differences
in psychological traits:
why some of us are more sociable
or shyer or prone to depression,
why we differ from each other.
I completely knew I was hooked
and that this is what I wanted to do
for the rest of my life.
When I left graduate school,
I was pretty sure what I wanted
to do was to use the twin method:
comparing identical
and non-identical twins.
Because it allows us,
in a quasi-experimental way,
to separate the effects
of nature and nurture.
So in 1994, I began what became called
the "Twins Early Development Study,"
to discover how big of a role
genetics plays in behavior.
You'd have to predict that identical twins
would be more similar
because they're clones of one another
as compared to non-identical
or fraternal twins who share
If something's heritable, like something
we don't know much about, musical ability,
for example...
you'd have to predict that identical twins
will be more similar for musical ability
than non-identical twins,
because of their two-fold
greater genetic similarity.
So I think we got 15,000 pairs of twins,
and the reason we were able
to do it was fortuitous,
because they just computerized
birth records in 1993.
And with the click of a computer button,
you could pull out all the twins.
We tested them almost every year,
and over 25 years.
We have data from the twins themselves.
We have parents filling out
questionnaires about the kids.
We have the teachers
of these kids rating the twins.
We have all the national pupil database.
Do you think I'm a dreamer or practical?
[Plumin] Altogether, we reckon there's
about 55 million bits of information.
I studied lots of personality traits.
The ones I focused on,
especially in the first few years of life,
are what we call temperament,
early-apppearing personality traits,
which includes fearfulness and anger,
activity level,
sociability and shyness,
and impulsivity,
which involves attention span.
So any trait that you studied,
like shyness, for example,
you'd have to predict
that if genetics is important
the identical twins
would be much more similar
than the non-identical
or fraternal twins,
because the identical twins
are 100% alike genetically.
Study after study showed that genetics was
far more important than we ever thought,
no matter what we looked at.
At first, with personality.
Then, I studied cognitive abilities,
and behavior problems in childhood,
and school achievement.
All across the board, identical twins are
much more similar than fraternal twins,
which indicates
the important role of genetics
in making us who we are.
After the twin study,
the next step in my research was
clearly to see if we could pin down
some of the DNA responsible
for the differences in behavior.
And so I began looking for these genes.
[Victoria laughs, murmurs]
-I just woke up and I'm ready to go.
-[Ryan] She's always...
-[Victoria] She was always ready to go.
-I know.
She was ready to get out of the womb.
-[Ryan mimics Lincoln's vocalizing]
-You were always kicking my bladder.
When I think of Mila
and the way she's developing,
I think she's smart.
I think she's a fast learner.
I think she's very curious.
[Ryan] I think cognitively right now
she's developing a little bit faster
because it almost seems like she can...
channel her energies into getting
what she wants more than Lincoln.
She is super focused on what she wants.
And she likes things her way
and will make you pay if you don't.
And she is ruthless.
[baby cries out]
Mila, you can't have every toy.
That's not very nice.
Your brother needs one and you have one.
[Victoria] When I think of Lincoln,
I think of, like, a sweet boy
who is just really happy
and always smiling
and... is...
Yeah, he's Lincoln. It's just Lincoln.
I mean they're just so different.
[Ryan] Lincoln is just, like, my buddy.
He's just the coolest guy. Like,
I admire him in a lot of ways because
he is just someone
who will go with the flow.
I'm happy.
My happy boy.
[Ryan] I mean, he's just,
like, a very sweet guy.
Let's see how you stand.
-Show us how you stand. Good boy!
-Whoa!
[Ryan] I'll say, "Linc, don't touch that,"
and he'll be like,
"Okay, I won't do that."
Mila will look at you and say,
"Who the hell are you
to be telling me what to do,"
and that probably best
describes their personality.
[Plumin] We used to think about genetics
as single-gene disorders.
If you have this gene
for Huntington's disease,
you will die of Huntington's disease
unless something else kills you first.
It is hard-wired and deterministic.
But that's a single-gene trait,
and what we've learned is that no complex
psychological trait is like that.
What that meant is you're dealing with
many, many DNA differences.
At first people thought,
well, a few dozen, maybe a hundred,
but what became clear is you're talking
about thousands of DNA differences.
So what do we mean by a DNA difference?
This is the double helix of DNA.
It's like a spiral staircase.
And these rungs consist of
a four-letter alphabet.
They can be either A, C, T, or G.
For 99% of all these
three billion rungs in our DNA
but one percent differs and that's
the one percent that interests us.
And so, for this rung, say,
I might be an A,
but you might be a C or a T or a G.
One of these DNA differences
don't make much of a difference.
What we have to do is add up
thousands, tens of thousands
of these DNA differences
to create what we call a polygenic score,
and that's what predicts
psychological traits.
[mechanical whirring]
The amazing thing, in 2005,
was a technological advance.
On a little array the size
of a postage stamp,
you can measure millions
of these DNA differences.
We can use this new advance
to look at your DNA.
We can see where you differ
from other people in your DNA.
And we can put those together
to predict traits in psychology,
like sociability or shyness
and activity level... and emotionality.
These polygenic scores, because they're
based on DNA differences that you inherit
from the first cell
with which you began life,
they don't change throughout life.
So it's a unique predictor in that
you can predict your adult personality
just as well
at the first day of life
as we can when you're 50 years old.
-[Morning-Star] Let him go by himself.
-Oh, let him go?
[Plumin] Suppose your child has
a high polygenic score for shyness.
It doesn't mean that the child
will necessarily be shy.
It just means that on average,
compared to most children,
they're more likely to be shy genetically.
So what does that mean?
Well, if you take the kid to a party...
you don't drop them off at a party
with a bunch of kids they don't know
and say, "Okay, have a good time."
You arrange to have a friend go with them,
you hang out for a while,
make sure
the child is kind of comfortable
before you abandon them.
It's not that difficult,
but it's to respect these differences.
[Adrien singing in French]
[Adrien] I was always, like, introvert,
and...
later on in my life
I started to open up to people,
and the minute I started to do that,
wonderful things started to happen.
[Natasha] I think you can learn it
in some ways. I think exposure,
you know, expose your children
to different people
and expose them--
and give them a bit of a help as well.
Lola used to be really, really shy,
for example.
-And we've really nudged her along.
-[strums]
♪ Baby ♪
♪ I need you to go to sleep ♪
[Natasha] She started preschool,
and she's just settled in really well.
[Lola stops singing]
[in French] Well done, my darling.
First, we lift this arm here, this way.
There we go.
And then we take this off. You see?
[Plumin in English] So I hope overall that
this is a liberating message for parents.
Instead of thinking that one false move
and their child's gonna be ruined forever,
better to kind of go
with the genetic flow,
appreciate, enjoy your child becoming
who they are, their own unique person.
[Natasha] See if he can...
[Plumin] Rather than thinking
you're gonna determine their outcomes...
why not instead find out what they like
to do and help them do it?
It's got to be better for everybody.
[man making playful noises]
[Natasha] Oh, Dad, careful.
-What?
-Be careful.
You think I'm going to drop him?
You have to be joking.
[Natasha] My dad is so social.
He's a great influence.
And I just kinda followed
in his footsteps.
It's such a lovely characteristic
that I really, really hope our kids
either have or learn.
[Pepe] Aren't you gorgeous,
beautiful creature?
Oh, yes... yeah, yeah.
[Pepe calling out]
You got a beautiful nose.
You got beautiful eyes...
but your head is perfect.
Look at that, it's round.
Perfect head.
Oh, yes. It reminds me of Tasha.
Very much my daughter.
It's so... the face...
all round, beautiful.
You look at the little chops.
That was Tasha.
[Natasha] Nurse Granddad…
I need to do a checkup of a baby bunny.
[Pepe] Alright.
Beep, beep blood pressure.
Okay, you know when you go
bump, bump, bump, bump.
Feel that. Feel your heart. You feel it?
[Pepe shushing, cooing]
That's a good boy. Good boy.
You can see all the DNA.
Everything there, you know,
this come from me,
and I'm from my father,
my mother and so on.
This is all part of knowledge
in where we come from,
how we are built, how we are made.
I think that's wonderful.
That's it, good boy. Good boy.
Good. Shh, shh, shh, shh.
[woman] I've always been fascinated by
how much our environment and culture
shapes us.
Looking back at my childhood in Russia,
I think it was actually pretty happy.
My great-grandma was actually
a very devout communist.
She told me many stories
about how she participated
in the Communist Revolution.
When I was about ten years old,
I became aware that my parents
were trying to leave the country.
Coming to the States, of course,
was quite a big change.
I felt different just coming
from a very different culture.
[children laughing]
-[laughing]
-[dog yipping]
[child] Avoid the dog!
[Gartstein] My daughter,
she's totally an American girl.
We're pretty different, in terms of
our temperaments, our personalities.
When I look at Natasha
and think about her,
well, obviously,
my husband and I both contributed
to the genetic aspect,
to those 50%.
But what about the environmental pieces?
Where do those come from?
My own experiences growing up in Russia
and then coming to this country
has led me to try and study temperament,
one of the basic building blocks
of personality.
[Gartstein] Temperament at its core
just has to do with
our propensity
to react emotionally,
and the extent to which one is able
to sort of modulate those responses.
Historically,
the approach has been to put
babies into these temperament types.
How some babies are difficult
and some babies are easy,
and some babies are slow to warm up.
The predominant interpretation
has been
that temperament really is something
that's fixed across time,
but I wanted to explore whether or not
temperament is something
that itself develops over time...
and also looking
at parental characteristics
and how those may shape their
children's temperament development.
[laughing]
[Gartstein] I know from my own experience
that temperament might not be fixed.
[woman] It's a little ballerina bunny.
[Gartstein] And so, in 2017,
I started a series of experiments
with moms and babies.
Hello!
This is awesome.
So first of all,
the babies come to the lab,
when the babies were four months of age.
And they played with their moms.
Where's my baby?
There he is.
We looked to see
how much positive emotion was expressed
by the moms and the babies...
[singing]
how intense the play was,
how enthusiastic the moms were,
how big their gestures were...
You wanna do "Itsy Bitsy"?
[Gartstein] ...sort of how positive
and warm the interactions are.
-[laughter]
-[mother] Who's that baby?
We also coded for reciprocity,
which has to do with the back and forth
between the mom and the babies.
[mother] Look, who's that?
[Gartstein] Sometimes people
refer to that as the dance,
because there's turn-taking involved.
And that was the first part of our study.
[woman] Claire and Paul,
we're ready for you to come on back.
[Gartstein] And then the babies
came back at six months
to do the temperament assessment.
Alright.
We started to test the baby's
temperaments every couple of months
to see if it changed
over the first year of life.
It's not easy to test
a baby's temperament.
But from a very young age, babies are very
good at showing us when they're fearful,
particularly when confronted
with new situations.
We have a series of four different masks
that are worn throughout.
[woman] Hi, sweet girl.
Let's have you go in this chair.
[Gartstein]
I don't think, at six months,
they've yet formulated any kinds of
associations of masks are evil,
you know, those are monsters,
but... but they're unusual.
And they're markedly different from
the things they typically see
in their little world.
[woman] Okay, I will peek through there
wearing 4 different masks,
and you can stand right next to him.
[Gartstein]
We do have the mom right next to the baby,
because sometimes they are really upset.
So the mom needs to be able
to step in and soothe the baby...
even though the idea is
that we want to see
how your baby responds to these masks.
[whimpers]
[Gartstein]
We have to quantify what we see.
We have to turn these reactions
into numbers.
And so we look to different facial regions
to code the facial aspect
of the fearful reaction.
We look to the eyes getting bigger
and the eyebrows lifting.
Sometimes they just tense up and tremble,
which is a telltale sign of fearfulness.
[crying]
[crying]
And they actually do look at the masks
until they decide that they're scary
and they want to escape by looking away
or looking to Mom
to see like,
what's going on here?
[mother] It's okay, baby. It's okay.
Oh, hugs, thank you for the hug.
[Gartstein] And then the babies came back,
and we test again
at 8, 10, and 12 months,
and that enabled us to begin to model
this growth of temperament,
this development of temperament,
which is so interesting to learn about.
Basically, what our data showed
is that between 8 and 10 months,
there was a tremendous growth or increase
in the response
that had to do with fearfulness:
being more startled by the masks,
crying more intensely
with response to the masks,
um, trying to get away from them more.
All of that really increased very
significantly during that time period.
And that makes sense because
between eight and ten months,
one of the things
that's happening to babies
is that they're starting
to be more mobile.
And so with crawling,
they're getting around more.
They're getting away from their moms,
encountering things in their environment
that can potentially be risky
or dangerous.
So this research showed
that certainly with regard to fearfulness,
babies' temperaments
were changing over time.
But when we compared these results
with our parent behavior data,
we discovered that parents' actions
were also having an impact
on their baby's temperament.
What we found was that for moms who are
more sensitive and responsive,
their babies tended to
come into the picture at six months of age
with lower levels of fearfulness.
There's a sense that being a sensitive mom
is protective with respect to fearfulness.
The way that moms approach play,
being in tune with the cues of the baby
and responding to those
in an appropriate way,
that seemed to dampen fearful reactivity.
-Show me.
-[baby crying]
Who's calling in?
[Gartstein] Our studies have shown that
there is this plasticity
in temperament development,
that there is this room for change,
and at least to some extent,
contextual factors like dynamics
and mother-infant interactions
seem to be contributing to them.
[Adrian in French]
What are you saying? Say...
[Natasha in English]
He started smiling...
around about eight weeks.
He loves people and he likes people
looking at him and smiling.
You know,
when you smile at him, he smiles back...
which is just so lovely.
And Lola's constantly in his face
smiling at him,
and that's probably helped.
He's a lot more smiley than Lola was.
I didn't struggle to bond with him at all.
I loved him immediately.
I'm a lot more confident
this time around...
and I think it has made a big difference.
It makes happy mommy, happy baby.
[Gartstein] Babies don't have
the self-awareness or other capabilities
that would enable them
to regulate their temperament.
[Natasha] Can you put your bib on?
[Gartstein] They need their parents
to help them explore different strategies.
Some babies out there who are so easygoing
may not require routine
as much as some other babies.
But if you have identified your child
as being on the more
distress-prone side of things,
having a routine where things
are pretty predictable:
we get up at a certain time, you know,
this is when you take a nap,
this is the place where you sleep.
You know, having those kinds of
cornerstones of what your day will be like
is really, really important.
[Morning-Star]
I think he's more like his dad.
He's so independent.
You going to jump?
One, two three. Good boy!
-Mmm, it smells fresh.
-[Charlie] Nelson can be quite thoughtful,
you know? He'll remind me
to make Mommy her coffee. [laughs]
[Morning-Star] I don't know what
he is going to do when he grows up.
[Charlie]
Certainly zooms around on his bike.
One, two, three.
He plays with his cars every day,
so in terms of hot-housing Nelson
for a Formula 1 career,
we'll be looking closely
at what his focus might be.
[Morning-Star]
At the moment, he's obsessed with space.
Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter,
Saturn, Uranus, Neptune.
[Plumin] I think the message is,
you gotta recognize kids are different
and respect those differences.
Kind of go with them,
rather than against them.
[Ryan] Whoa. Let me get your shoe, buddy.
[Gartstein]
The journey towards becoming who we are
is something that starts
very early in life.
Those early building blocks
put something in place
that is with us in a lifelong kind of way,
that does contribute to ultimately
where this journey takes us
This is our favorite book. You can tell
because it's, like, about to break.
[Ryan] At this point, I can see
their personalities are so, so different.
I can see little bits of both of us
in each of the kids.
She is very girly and loves, like,
when she interacts with other kids.
-[Victoria] I got you.
-[Ryan] She's the center of attention.
Here you go.
[Ryan] Lincoln likes
to kinda be with his toys,
likes to be with his mom.
[Victoria] Mila'll probably be a lawyer.
And Lincoln... will be something
like a male nurse,
like he'd be caring for someone
or something, you know.
[Natasha] What is Hugo like now?
Say hello, Hugo, hello.
Hugo just said hello.
When he was little,
we said that he's much
more physical than Lola was.
Um, we thought he was gonna be
a lot more... physically active.
[Adrien] Still looks to be the case.
[Natasha] What's that, Hugo?
-Choo-choo.
-[Natasha] Choo-choo.
He... he's very sociable
with other kids as well.
And... he's not nearly
as outgoing as Lola is.
...those parts?
[Natasha] She's the leader,
whereas Hugo's a bit more reserved.
-But he's charming though.
-He's so charming.
[Rochat] You have to allow individuals
to explore, and often to fail.
A child... to make a major step
like going over an obstacle
has to fail many times
before he or she achieves that,
but that's a metaphor for life in general.
[Natasha] Turn it the other way.
That's it, and put it on the floor,
the yellow one.
[Rochat] And I think the best service
we can do for our children
is to let them explore
their own potentiality in the world.
[Rochat] To explore the limits.
Houston! [mimics rockets]
[Rochat] That is essential for them
to develop a sense of themself.
[Natasha] Put the people on the bus.
[Hugo] Put people on the bus.
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