We all have
an inner dialogue.
Everybody does.
Yeah.
You know, sometimes, it's hard
to match that inner dialogue
with our outer experience.
And I know it's hard for me.
I get frustrated, get upset.
My emotions start to build.
We lash out, as I'm
sure some of you know.
I want you to know that
you are not your feelings.
But the challenge is to put
those feelings to words.
With that said, does
anyone have anything
they want to share today?
Anything at all?
Travis.
I understand it's
your last class today.
- Yes, ma'am.
- Would you like to share
what you've been working on?
- I'm still working on it.
Well, everything
is a work in progress.
- Yeah, but I'd like
to finish it first before I
share it with my peers.
I am not letting
you off the hook.
Not today.
I would really love to hear it.
Uh--
all right, that's fine.
Mm.
I could share.
It's not done.
I'm not done with it.
Oh, it's not done.
"Love.
Love chokes me.
Love steals the breath
from my lungs.
Love hurts me.
Loves is a dark day of the sun.
Love spits and spreads.
Love's a disease,
and I'm already dead.
It's the sh*t
on the bottom of my shoe.
Love isn't for me.
It's for you.
f*ck you.
Go f*ck yourself."
Well, I like it.
I think there's
a lot of potential.
Where do you see it going?
- I think now that I've read it
out loud, I feel like it's done.
It flowed really nice.
- Thank you, Jamal.
Here's a thought.
What if you took those
last couple of lines,
those "f*ck," and dug deeper?
- So you don't want me to cuss?
- I want you to try
something different.
Don't take the easy way out.
Remember the work that
you've done in here, Travis.
When you start to feel
out of control,
just put it down on paper,
get it out, and keep going.
Right, OK.
Thank you.
Ah, f*ck!
f*ck!
f*ck!
I'm sorry.
The ring's stuck.
Who is it?
- It's Travis, Mom.
- Oh, my God!
Travis, what are you doing here?
I would have picked you up!
- I took the bus.
Yeah.
- The bus?
Oh, god.
Don't do that.
It's filthy.
It's not safe.
Come-- come in.
Come in.
The bus.
Oh, look at you.
Take your shoes off.
- OK.
- I just had the floors redone.
Oh, my gosh.
If I knew you were coming, I--
I would have done something.
You shouldn't take the bus.
It's filthy.
Are-- are you hungry?
I can make you something.
I have-- I have a tuna platter.
Do you want tuna?
No, I'm not hungry.
I'm OK.
- Do you still like tuna?
- Yes, Mom, I like tuna.
I'm just-- I'm not hungry.
- I
- followed my heart.
- I
- have not much time.
- What do you think?
The moment
your eyes were set ablaze.
- It's different.
- You said different.
Is-- is-- is that bad?
- No, different.
It's good.
No, it's nice.
It's really nice.
- Yeah, it's been
my little project.
It's not cheap, let me tell you.
Oh, my gosh.
Um, look, take
your shoes off, OK?
- Oh, right.
Sorry.
OK.
You caught
me watching my show.
It's very gory.
It's--
- Keeping a bat
by the front door now?
- Well, there are
buildings, apartments all
around the neighborhood.
- What
happened to your arm?
- Oh, I broke it.
I-- I fell on the floor.
- Hi, this is Travis
Williams checking in.
Williams.
Uh, it's-- it's 446573.
That's right.
OK, what time tomorrow?
I do.
I have the address, yes.
OK, thank you.
- You want one?
- I'm OK.
- I had everything in the
garage, and then it flooded.
See?
Look.
You can see the water
damage right here.
Nightmare.
I had to move
everything in here.
I washed your clothes,
so they wouldn't smell like--
- Yeah, thank you.
You didn't have to do that.
- She's such a b*tch.
- Don't call her that, Mom
EVELYN: What?
It's true.
She is a b*tch.
She's a lousy person.
I tried to tell you from the
start, but you wouldn't listen.
Now look at you.
- Yeah, I understand.
Can you say something else?
You don't have to call
her the B-word.
- Well, it's not like I go
around calling everyone a b*tch.
I'm not uneducated.
I use the word wisely--
- Mom, I just--
Mom, I just don't wanna
talk about it right now.
I don't need to be reminded.
- You know, you've never
been good with women.
And I worry it was my fault.
- Please, Mom?
OK.
- I understand.
I read that scent is tied
to the strongest memory.
- I got it.
Thank you so much
for washing my clothes.
Thank you.
- Are you still wearing
your wedding ring?
- f*ck!
Mom!
- But she's your ex-wife.
- I don't know.
- Why on earth?
- I just put it on.
It's just--
- But why?
Why would you put that ring on?
- It was with my belongings!
- Wait, don't tell me you're
still in love with her.
- I'm not still
in love with her.
- Oh, god.
- It was with my belongings.
- Are you still
in love with her?
- No, I'm not!
It was with my belongings!
- Then why is it on your finger?
- Because it was with
my belongings, Mom!
- What belongings?
- The belongings in the bag!
- Oh, get it off!
Get it off!
- I'm trying to, Mom!
- No, that's an evil ring.
- Ah!
- Get it off!
Ah!
OK, let me see.
Let me see.
Let me see.
Oh, god.
You're bleeding.
- Ah, sh*t!
- Oh, no, don't!
Don't!
I just washed these sheets!
- OK!
OK!
- I just--
- OK, OK.
- No!
What are you doing?
I'm getting soap!
- Don't touch
my new white towels!
- I'm not touching anything!
- I'm sorry I
called her a b*tch.
- It's OK.
You can say whatever you want.
I'm just trying not
to cuss right now.
- That's nice.
- It's harder than I thought.
- OK, time.
What do you know?
You know, I have an idea.
It's something
that worked for me.
When I would have
a negative thought or
a negative thought about
myself, I would-- here,
put this around your wrist.
And every time you cuss, you
just give yourself a little
smack, like that.
Ow.
Sorry, not that hard.
And it sends a signal
to your brain
that you won't cuss anymore.
It doesn't happen overnight,
but it worked for me.
- Thanks.
- Mr. Williams, Travis.
Released yesterday.
Voluntary manslaughter,
aggravated as*ault. OK.
OK.
OK.
I got it.
First time being paroled?
- Yes, sir.
- Your address is
4203 Alta Vista Drive.
You're staying with
your family, is that correct?
- Yes, sir.
I stay with my mom.
- Lucky you.
OK, I'm going
to tell you this now.
I rarely do house checks
because that means I have
to stop what I'm doing here.
When I have to stop what
I'm doing here, all of this
piles up.
When all this piles up,
that stresses me out.
Don't make me come
to your house.
- Yes, sir.
All right.
OK.
You're going to check
in with me once a week.
Today is Tuesday,
so why don't we
just put you down for Tuesdays,
anytime between 9:00 and 5:00.
Does that work?
- Tuesday works.
Yes, sir.
- OK.
Conditions of your parole.
Now, I'm supposed to say
all of this out loud,
but it's all written right here.
All right?
So I'm going
to summarize because it
seems like you can read.
First, under no circumstances
are you to have any contact
with the victim or the family.
You got me?
Give me a verbal yes.
- Uh, yes.
Yes, sir.
- Second-- and I can't believe
I have to say this out loud--
do not participate
in any criminal activity
and definitely no drugs.
If you do drugs and I find
out about it, bye bye.
- I don't do drugs.
I-- I don't do drugs.
Good, because we
do random checks,
and there are no second chances.
Oh, you have to go
to a meeting once
a week, like AA or something,
in addition to seeing me.
- I'm going to go with my mom.
She's three years sober.
So--
- What is the status
of your employment?
- Uh, I just got out yesterday.
Well, the sooner
you get a job
and start working, the better.
Um, I think that
about covers it.
Do you have any questions about
the conditions of your parole?
- No, sir.
- Sign here.
What was your name?
- Oh.
I'm Frank.
- Thank you, Frank.
- Don't f*ck up.
- Come with me.
This is the kitchen.
You don't worry about anything
unless you need dirty stuff.
You can clean stuff to put away.
This over here is
your cleaning supplies.
Grab them if you need them.
Over here is your station.
This is your clean, your dirty.
You can bring your dirty
over here, spray it off.
This is your soap.
This is your sanitizer smalls.
Stuff will go through here.
And your dirty stuff, you'll
wash by hand, throw it up here.
And the machine, use whatever
you load, close it up.
Got it?
- Got it.
- All right.
- Thank you.
f*ck!
Getting sober was the
hardest thing I've ever done.
One drink leads
to another, then another.
And the next thing you
know, I'm buying a baggie.
I'm somewhere I
don't want to be.
People I don't know.
- Is it hot in here?
Fell on my knees that
morning and gave it all up.
- It's unusually hot in here.
- No.
- I surrendered--
- Can you help me?
--all control.
I'm Wilma.
I'm an addict and an alcoholic.
It's been a hell of a ride,
but I'm grateful to be here
with each and every one of you.
- All right.
Would anybody else
like to share?
- Hi.
I'm Evelyn.
I'm an alcoholic.
Hi, Evelyn.
- And, um-- yes, sis.
Oh, I don't want
to get emotional,
but I'm here today with my son,
my youngest son, Travis.
And I-- I'm coming to three
years now in my sobriety.
And it took a long time
to get here on this path.
I know it wasn't always
easy for my sons.
There were times that I--
I lost my sense
of motherhood and
I wasn't living my best self.
And I have a lot
of shame about that.
But I've been working
the program one day at a time,
and that's all I can do
to be a better person.
I would like to read
something that I
found today in my prayer time.
And, uh-- hold on.
Here it is.
It's short.
It's short, and that's
what I like about it.
But here it goes.
It says, "Accept everything
and expect nothing."
And that's-- that's how
I want to live today.
Thank you for letting me share.
Do you want to say something?
- What?
- Do you want to say something?
- No.
- Go ahead.
- Thank you for letting
me be here today.
I'm happy to be here.
- Right on.
Welcome, Travis.
Welcome, bud.
Welcome, Travis.
- Thank you.
Thank you, Travis.
- Anyone else like to share?
- Um, my brother used to hate
it when I would drink and drive.
And, um-- and I
actually convinced
myself that I was better
at driving when I was drunk,
you know.
And-- and I was wrong.
- f*ck!
Travis, right?
I heard your mom say it.
- Oh, right.
- I'm Billie.
- Hi.
What'd you
do to your hand?
- I cut it.
Ouch.
How'd you do it?
- On a glass.
- Hmm.
My friend did that once.
He was opening up the freezer
and took a bottle out.
And then it popped in his hand.
And then it just
cut him right there.
It just kept bleeding.
There was so much blood.
You know, scientists say
it only takes three seconds
to make a first impression?
- I didn't know that.
Wow.
Isn't that crazy?
Doesn't seem very fair.
It's, like, three seconds?
Man.
That's why it's important
to smile, right?
How'd I do?
- You?
Uh-- good.
Yeah, you did good, I guess.
Yeah.
- That's so cool.
- How'd I do?
- Honestly?
It's terrible.
- Right.
But if you
want, you can try again.
- Oh.
- Just come on out again.
- You mean, come back out?
- Yeah, just give it another go.
- I'm good.
I'm already outside.
- You're good.
Come on.
Not everyone gives
you a second chance.
It's fun.
It's only three seconds.
I'll count.
Go.
- OK.
- Hey.
No, that wasn't good.
You didn't smile.
You only have three
seconds, remember?
You got to smile.
- Yeah.
I just really don't
want to do it, you know?
- OK.
Well, it's your first
impression, man.
- All right.
See?
Wow.
That was so much better.
How did it feel?
- Exhausting.
- I couldn't tell.
Thanks.
- I like what you said in there.
- I didn't really say anything.
- No, you said something.
You said more than me.
We should hang out.
- Uh, I don't have a phone, so--
- You don't have a phone?
How do you talk to people?
- I've been trying not to.
You're so funny.
OK, well, in case
you change your mind.
There you go.
I got you a coffee.
Hi.
- Hello.
I'll see you later.
- See ya.
- Don't even think about it.
She's been coming to meetings
on and off for weeks now.
I'm not
thinking about anything.
- She's not committed
to her sobriety.
And I wouldn't be surprised
if it's more than alcohol.
In fact, I know.
- You know what?
- I'm-- everyone has
their own journey.
I'm just saying.
She never shares.
She's just bad news.
Don't.
- What happened to accepting
everything, Mom?
I do.
Don't think I don't.
I was nice to her.
I said hello.
But you get out what you put
in, and she's just, well--
I'm not going to say it.
- We were just talking.
- I wish you would
just listen to me.
- Just a phone number, Mom.
What, am I going to call
her from the home phone?
What are you doing?
- I'm looking for my Truvia.
I had it in here yesterday.
I know it's-- why is it gone?
- Relax.
I'll find it, Mom.
- I just wish you'd just
listen to me because it's
my house and my rules.
- Mom, give me the purse.
- I had them in here.
- OK, I'll find them.
- They're little green packets
that say Truvia on them
and with, like, a black
rubber band around them.
- Are these them right here?
Who's next?
- Uh, right here.
- Holy sh*t.
It's Travis f*cking Williams.
I can't believe
it's Travis-- damn.
- Yeah.
Can I just grab--
- I thought you
were in jail, right?
- Yeah, I--
I was.
- I mean, that's cra--
that's-- that's some of the
wildest sh*t I ever heard, man.
Damn.
I heard about it
from my brother.
Do you remember Teddy?
- Yeah.
- I can't believe you're out.
I mean, like, they played
on the news for, like, a month.
- Cool.
Can I just grab some of the
mesquite-smoked turkey breast?
- Yeah, man.
Uh, how do you want that sliced?
- Thin, please.
- I got you.
I'm going to hook you up, bro.
I got you, man.
Just came from jail, bro.
Real estate
in this neighborhood
is going through the roof.
I wish I could just
sell and travel.
- Why don't you?
- The house needs too much
work, and it would be too much.
Besides, who would I go with?
- Just go alone.
- Alone?
And be abducted or m*rder*d
in a foreign country?
- That doesn't happen, Mom.
- Every day women are sold
into sex trafficking, Travis.
- Yeah, but you're 60 years old.
- And I take good
care of myself.
Real estate, now that's
something you'd be good at.
- I don't want to sell houses.
- How do you know?
You haven't tried.
- I don't have a real
estate license.
- Well, you could get one.
You have a college
education, Travis.
You gotta stop
punishing yourself.
- Oh, sh*t.
It's OK.
Just go.
It's OK.
We're just walking
in my neighborhood.
What the f*ck, Mom!
It's OK.
- sh*t!
- You said "sh*t."
- You're walking
by my ex-wife's house?
- I-- I didn't know.
Take your shoes off.
- Oh, my god, what do you
mean you didn't know, Mom?
I have a restraining
order for 500 feet,
and you're just going to walk
me right by her house?
- I didn't know.
- What were you thinking?
- How was I supposed
to know the rules?
What are the rules?
- Mom, these are the rules.
Listen to me!
Listen to me!
Listen to me, OK?
I am on parole.
I could go back to prison.
- OK.
But everything's going
to be fine, I promise.
I do that walk
at least twice a week.
It's my 10,000-step walk.
It's going to be fine, OK?
Everything is OK.
Will you please just
take your shoes off?
Take-- take your shoes off,
please, off my floors, please.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Hello.
Hello.
Oh, god.
I didn't know the rules.
It's my fault. Take
me to jail, please.
- No one's going to jail.
Please, I'm stepping inside.
- Do you have a--
- Are you Travis Williams?
- Uh, yes, sir.
- You have a restraining
order of 500 feet,
as a part of your parole, yes?
- I didn't know she
lived there, sir.
We didn't know that
because I didn't know the rules.
And so he was walking
with me on my 10,000
steps that I do every day.
- Ma'am, I do not care.
OK?
Please, ma'am.
Just-- Travis, avoid
that street altogether.
You understand?
No one goes near that household.
- Yes, sir.
We will.
Thank you.
- We're going to avoid it.
- Yes.
We understand.
I'll go by myself.
I will go by myself
because I have mace now.
- No, you do not go there alone.
You do not go there at all.
You understand me?
You do not go around that
house or that family at all.
Do you get me?
- Why can't I go?
I live in this neighborhood.
I can't go?
- Mom!
- I've always done
my 10,000 steps.
- Mom!
Mom!
- Mom!
- I pay my taxes.
I pay your salary.
- I understand that.
You pay my salary.
Thank you very much.
I'm appreciative of that.
God damn it.
- Oh, wow.
- Mom, hey, it's fine.
- I apologize.
- It's OK.
- I apologize.
- Thank you.
- Just avoid that
street like the plague.
You understand?
- Thank you, sir.
- It's fine.
Oh, my god, that b*tch.
I mean, the audacity
of that woman.
- You like it hot.
- So I thought you
didn't have a phone.
- It's a landline.
It's a home phone.
- You have a home phone?
- I don't.
My mom does.
I'm staying with
my mom right now.
- Well, you're lucky
I'm an anesthesiologist.
I get most days off.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Three days on.
Four days off.
But I used to be a pilot.
Not a pilot pilot, but I was
in flight school, you know.
But then I found
out-- womp, womp--
I'm color blind in my left eye,
on the inside of my cornea.
Can you see it,
when I go like this?
- Um-- am I supposed
to be able to?
- Yeah.
You don't see it?
- No, I don't see anything.
- Weird.
Really?
- Really.
- What color is this?
- Yellow.
- What color is this?
- Red.
- I thought so.
So what's your thing?
- I don't have a thing.
Everyone's got a thing.
What's your thing?
- Not me.
I-- I don't really have a thing.
- Are you always this
charismatic and charming?
Please stop.
Come on.
- If I had to pick something,
when I don't have a thing--
I wrote poetry.
I write poetry.
I was in, like, this
poetry program--
Cool.
Poetry.
- --for a little while.
- Love that.
Read a poem for me.
Do a poem for me.
- I can't just do
a poem for you.
It's not like I have a poem
right here that I can just do.
I don't have-- it's
not how it works.
It's more
of a therapeutic thing.
- My therapist says I have
an addictive personality
and I make irrational decisions
based on my lack of self-worth.
- I'm not in therapy.
I'm not crazy.
- Me neither.
- f*ck.
I'm sorry.
I didn't-- I think it's
great that you're in therapy.
My mom's in a lot of therapy.
She does a lot of therapy.
- Um, I-- no.
I completely forgot.
I have to get back to work.
I'm so sorry, I just--
- I didn't-- really?
Yeah, I, um-- let's
do it again sometimes.
It's a lot of fun.
And we should do it.
I have a meeting
at 1:00, so I have to go.
I didn't
mean to be rude.
If I was being rude--
I just--
- No.
Take my food.
I doused it in hot sauce.
Be careful.
Um-- yeah.
My boss is going
to k*ll me, so--
- OK.
- How was that?
My dad taught me that,
when you're meeting someone
for the first time,
to make it a lunch date,
so you can just
say, oops, sorry,
I got to get back to work.
I lost track of time.
See what I mean?
- I get it.
I get it.
Your dad seems like a smart guy.
- He's an as*h*le.
- Really?
Why is he an as*h*le?
- He just is.
You should do it.
- Oh, sh**t.
I gotta get going.
I got to go to work.
I completely forgot.
That was bad.
It was bad.
You looked at your wrist.
You don't have a watch on.
Come on.
You have to commit 100%.
Like, just make
something else up.
You don't have a watch on,
so don't look at your watch.
- No.
Maybe I'm OK with just,
like, not being a good liar.
- OK.
Do it.
Come on.
Do it.
- I don't want to do it.
- Come on, do it.
Come on, do it.
Yeah!
Yeah!
Do it.
Oh!
Come on.
Oh!
Yeah!
Oh!
- Oh, my god.
OK.
Holy sh*t!
I forgot I gotta
get back to work.
I am so sorry.
I forgot I had a work
meeting at 11:00.
- That's so cool.
What do you do?
- I'm in sales,
and I do sales stuff.
And we're jumping into Q4.
- Q4?
- Yeah, right now.
- Oh, my gosh, what's that?
- Anyways, but feel free
to box up all of my food.
I ate most of mine.
But thank you so much.
I had a wonderful time.
And I'd love to do
this again with you.
- You're so generous.
Thank you so much.
What the f*ck!
Hey, why are you
running from me?
- You got to commit.
How was that?
- That was pretty good.
I mean, you had me with the
whole sales thing, and it's--
yeah.
- Thanks.
I used to be in sales.
- What'd you sell?
- Window units.
- That's cool.
I used to date a guy
who was a day trader,
and he was always
on his computer.
And he jumped out
of his window, so--
- Oh.
- Yeah.
- I don't know what
to say to that.
- Yeah, there's nothing to say.
- OK.
- OK.
- I mean, you can't only
tell someone so many times.
Travis, this is my women's
group, you know.
We meet on Thursdays.
I told you.
- Yeah.
Hi.
Hello.
- Where have you been all day?
- I just went out
to lunch before work.
- Alone?
- Yeah.
- Well, come and join us.
- Oh, no.
This seems like
a ladies' thing, so I'll
just hang out in my room.
But have a good night.
Nice to see you.
- He's always had
trouble with women.
I don't understand it.
One time I went to visit
him when he was in college.
And we're at lunch and his
phone won't stop ringing.
And he finally picks it up.
And it's this girl screaming
at him, crying, crazy,
accusing him
of having chlamydia.
A three-hour drive for us to sit
in a Planned Parenthood waiting
room.
Turns out he didn't
have chlamydia.
Thank god.
He got tested for it twice.
But who was this girl?
Oh, my god.
I wish he would
just listen to me.
You are being very
brave letting him stay here.
Tremendous.
- Mom?
- Hi.
What's up?
- You OK?
- Yeah, I'm good.
I'm great.
Where are you going?
- Uh, just going to go
take care of a few things.
What are you doing?
- I got my stuff.
I'm-- I'm busy.
I-- I've got--
I got all my stuff to do.
- OK.
See ya.
- Psst.
Isn't it crazy
we're in this room
full of trees and, like, reading
stories off of slivers of trees?
- Isn't everything trees?
Hmm, mahogany.
Oh, live oak.
- Getting a little nuttiness.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- Wow.
Ooh, chestnut, my favorite.
- Oh.
Don't do that.
- A bit hazelnutty.
But it's got to be
pine, spruce or fir.
You should try it.
Try it.
Just see.
Do it.
Right?
You're fine.
The story is still intact.
- It's a little smokey.
- Smokey?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Shh.
- What?
Oh.
All right.
- I thought she saw me.
But I don't think she did.
I don't think she saw me.
I've been eating paper
since I was a kid.
- You ate paper as a kid?
- Yeah.
Didn't everybody?
- No.
- Yeah.
That's not true.
Everybody ate paper as a kid.
- No.
- Don't do that.
Don't do that.
- You're a weirdo.
- Nah, don't be like that.
- Why do you keep doing that?
Doing what?
- Why do you keep doing that?
- Uh, I don't know.
I'm just trying not
to cuss right now.
- What the f*ck!
Cussing is, like,
my favorite thing to do.
f*ck!
f*ck!
You f*ck!
It's the best word ever.
It's so satisfying.
I mean, sometimes
you have to cuss.
You just have to,
if you stub your toe.
- I know.
I'm just trying
not to right now.
I'm trying to, like, dig deeper
and, like, get the insides out.
- f*ck is,
like, the most beautiful
word in the English language.
You can-- it's a noun.
It's an adjective.
It's a verb.
It's an adverb even.
You could-- you could
say it like an adverb.
f*ck-- f*ck.
He f*ck walked
across the bridge.
What do you say
if someone backstabs you?
f*ck you, man!
f*ck you!
You f*cking as*h*le!
- Uh-- I hear--
I get it.
I'm just trying something new.
- I think that's pretty cool.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Yeah, I think
that's pretty cool.
You think people thought we
got into a fight just now?
- Yeah, that was really.
- It wasn't real.
It wasn't real.
It was a fake fight.
I just work there, Mom.
It's not like I'm the boss.
- He-- he's washing dishes.
- Well, maybe that's
what he wants to do.
- He doesn't know what he wants.
It's like he's
punishing himself.
He's a convicted felon.
He just got out of jail.
It's the reality.
He's a bad guy.
- Hey!
Hey!
Out of the house.
I said, no shoes!
- Guys, Grandma just
had the floors done.
You can't wear
your shoes in the house.
- Hey!
Younger brother, there he is.
- Honey, why don't
you change your shirt?
- He looks fine.
- No, just something
with little buttons.
OK?
Please?
For me.
- Leave him alone.
He looks good.
We're casual.
It's casual.
- We're casual.
- It's casual.
- Fine.
But I told everyone that we're
celebrating your birthday.
- OK, but today's
not my birthday.
- I know.
But I didn't want it
to explain to the kids.
It's just-- they're too young.
And besides, we missed
a few of your birthdays.
- OK.
Well, how old am I turning?
- I don't know,
whatever you want.
Jake, please, could you just
please put those in the bowl?
- I'll just bring
the bag out with the dip.
- But that's not how you do it.
We don't want everybody's
grimy little hands in the bag.
Mom, everyone's
grimy little hands
are going to be in the bowl.
- Just listen to me.
- Welcome home.
- Yeah.
Or I should
say, happy birthday.
- Thank you.
When did Mom get so--
- When she got sober.
- Ah, OK.
Well--
You'll get
used to it, though.
Everything just brushes away.
Brought a cake.
Also, just a heads up,
Mom asked Sarah to invite
her friend Pamela over.
You remember her
from her wedding.
- Pamela?
No, I don't.
- Well, she always thought
you were really cute.
And Mom
and Sarah thought,
you know, you might want to--
I don't know.
Might want to what?
- To have some company
and go out and get a meal.
And she already knows
about everything.
She doesn't care.
She's super cool.
- I don't want to meet
anybody, though.
I don't want to do this.
- It's not a big deal, dude.
Like, it's casual.
- You can't just
keep saying casual.
- It is.
- Did you tell him?
- Yeah.
Mom, I'm already
celebrating my birthday.
I don't want to do this, too.
- She's a very nice girl,
comes from a wealthy family.
Her father owns patents.
- Patents?
Really, Mom.
Patents, wow!
- Travis is here.
Good.
Good.
- Yeah.
- Stay right there.
Stay right there.
- I'm not doing this.
I don't want to do this, Mom.
- Just be nice, please, OK?
Just-- everyone's
making sacrifices.
- I just want to be left alone.
- It's not
good to be alone.
- You're alone.
- No, I'm not.
I have my women's group.
- Come on.
Your women's group
doesn't count, Mom.
- Whatever you do, don't
tell her you wash dishes.
- I wash dishes.
- Pam, hi!
- Hi.
- Oh, it's so great--
ooh, shoes off, shoes off.
- Oh.
- Hey, Travis.
- Hi, Sarah.
- It's good to see you.
You remember my friend, Pamela.
- I don't remember you,
but, hello, Pamela.
- Hi.
Congratulations on--
well, happy birthday.
I don't know what to say.
- That's OK.
- You can call me
Pam, by the way.
- Nah, I prefer Pamela.
- Oh.
Yeah.
OK.
Cool.
- Call her Pam, Travis.
- I don't want to call her Pam.
I don't want to call you
Pam, when her name's Pamela.
So I'm going to call Pamela.
- Dude, she sounds
like she prefers Pam.
So just call her Pam.
- No, you know what?
Pamela's great.
That's my actual name.
- No, but you want
to be called Pam.
So I think he
should call you Pam.
You just call her Pam.
- Yeah, but her
actual name is Pamela,
so I'm going to call her Pam.
Hola.
- You know what?
I'm going to start up the grill.
All right.
Good.
- Good.
- Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
- See you, Pam.
- Bye.
- Well, Pam is a teacher at Lake
Highlands Middle School, right?
- I do.
I am.
I'm an English teacher,
believe it or not.
They call me Ms. Sellers.
- That is funny.
You have a degree
in English, right, Travis?
- Yeah, I do.
- So that's something
that the two of you
are doing with each other.
- I wash dishes now.
- Oh, that's great.
I love washing dishes.
I-- I-- I do it, I zone out.
I, you know, use it
as a time to meditate.
It's nice.
Do you do that?
- I'll have to go
change my shirt.
Excuse me.
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday, dear Travis
Happy birthday to you
- Keep coming back
- Can you can help
me blow them out?
- Yeah.
- Ready?
1, 2, 3.
- What did you wish
for, Uncle Travis?
- I can't tell you.
It's a secret.
- Oh, come on, tell me.
- I can't.
Secret.
- How old are you turning?
- I just turned 33 again.
- That's what Jesus said.
- Jesus died--
- Will you go over there?
I don't want him
alone with the kids.
Wow.
I didn't know that.
- Oh, come on.
Don't be like that.
- I'm serious, Jake.
- He's fine.
Really?
- You get older, you don't
get presents anymore.
- Wait.
Really?
- Really.
- Hey, what are you
guys doing over here?
- Eating cake.
- Yum.
- Is it true when you get
older, you don't get presents?
- No, you still get presents.
- You promise?
- Yes.
- You swear on your life?
Mom's life?
- Yes, Stephen, I swear
on your mom's life.
You still get-- why don't
you guys go eat your cake
in front of the TV, huh?
- See ya.
- Go.
Go.
Go.
You good?
- Yeah.
You good?
- Yeah.
Yeah.
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hi.
What are you up to?
What are you doing?
Are you writing poetry?
- No, I was just
about to go to bed.
- What's in the little boxes?
- Some of my stuff.
It's my life.
- Yikes.
- Yeah.
- I was in the neighborhood.
I just wanted to see
what you're up to.
You want to go on a walk?
- Um, no, it's nighttime.
- Are you serious?
It's nighttime.
Damn it.
I had the whole thing wrong.
You know what?
It's fine.
I'm going to go--
I'll go to bed.
- I'll meet you out front.
- No.
Come through here.
It's more fun.
- I can just go
out the front door.
- It is.
Come out this window.
It's fine.
It's more fun.
- OK.
I'll grab my jacket.
- You're going
to read me a poem.
Why?
Don't tell me you're one
of those recluse poets
that doesn't show their work.
Wow.
You know you're going
to die one day, right?
Someone's going to show
up, probably your wife,
and then she's
going to publish it.
And then you'll be
a famous dead guy.
It's going to be a huge success.
Yeah.
- I can guarantee you
that will never happen.
- That's true.
It happened.
This one janitor in Chicago,
he was an artist.
And, yeah, they showed
up at his apartment.
He was dead, with
all these paintings
of naked children in this
peaceful utopia of children.
And he was just a lonely guy.
But it happened, you know.
And now he's famous.
So-- I can do an interpretive
dance to one of your poems.
I used to be a dancer.
- Really?
I used to be an astronaut.
So--
- Do what I do.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
That was so good.
That was really good.
- Thanks.
You know this
is trespassing, right?
I don't care.
You do this a lot?
I used to.
My mom's been sober for,
I guess, three years now.
But when she wasn't, she'd
go out on these benders
and leave my brother
and I. I'd come out here
and I'd watch this normal
family do normal things.
Everyone in their
perfect little boxes, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
- I used to have
my own little box.
- Yeah?
What was it like?
- Oh, it was a small house,
like 10 minutes from here.
- What color was the front door?
- When we bought
it, it was brown.
And we painted it yellow.
Then it was red.
It was kind
of a temperamental front door.
- When I was little,
my Buppee had this--
well, he had a lot, these
citrus trees in the backyard.
And I used to think that
limes and lemons and oranges
were all the same fruit, just
picked at different times,
you know.
If you picked it early,
small and green lime.
If you waited, it would
turn into a lemon and lemon
to an orange and orange
to a grapefruit.
- Then what?
- Once it was a grapefruit,
it was too heavy to hold
on the branch any longer.
So it would fall off.
- How do you explain
a blood orange?
- Oh, that's the stage
right before grapefruit.
- When did you
find out they were different?
Two weeks
ago, produce section.
Yeah.
f*cking produce section.
Ah!
- You're not afraid they
can see us out here?
- No.
When the lights are
on inside, you can't see out.
sh*t!
Now that I think
about it, I'm a chin folder.
I put the shirt here,
and I fold the sleeves in,
and then I drop it
and let it fold.
- Well, because the chin
acts as, like, a third hand.
- Exactly.
- Yeah.
What's going on?
Mom, are you OK?
- Oh, my god, where
have you been?
I've been so worried.
- What are you talking about?
- Your light was on.
I knocked on the door.
There's no answer.
I opened the door,
and your screen is wide open.
- Where were you?
- We just went for a walk.
That's it.
We just went for a walk.
- A late-night walk?
- That's it.
- You've been doing
a little drinking?
- No, sir.
- Are you high?
- No, sir.
- Oh.
- Turn around.
- Oh, god.
- You got anything on you?
- No, sir.
- Please, please, please.
- You don't speak.
- Now you--
- We don't know her.
We don't know her.
- --turn them inside out.
- They're empty.
- We don't know her.
- It's the second time
out here this week.
Understand me?
If you make it a third,
I swear to god,
somebody's going to go to jail.
- Yes, sir.
Thank you.
Thank you, sir.
Thank you, Officer Luna.
Why is she here?
- We just went for a walk.
- Why is she here?
Why are you in my house?
- It's my fault, really.
I thought it'd be fun.
- Well, it is your fault.
And it's not fun.
Is this fun?
Get out.
Get out of my house.
Get out of my house!
Get out!
I mean it.
Right now, get out!
What did I tell you about her?
- I'm sorry.
I didn't think things
would get so crazy.
I just--
- Crazy?
What did you expect?
- Dude, what?
I just came by to say hi?
- Just stop.
I don't need any of this
in my life right now.
I got enough sh*t going on if
you haven't already noticed.
- What are you talking about?
- Not everybody wants to be
so crazy and free like you do.
- You're the weirdo
sitting in people's yards.
- OK, great.
Thank you so much.
Don't come back here.
You called the cops on me, Mom!
For what?
Well, I didn't know.
- What is wrong with you?
Shoes off, please!
- Morning.
There's coffee.
Well, I'm off sugar,
so there's no sugar.
What's with
the newspapers?
- Oh, I get a few
different ones,
you know, for the horoscopes.
They're all a little different.
So sometimes, if I
don't like one,
I can focus on the other one.
You and I are Sagittarius.
So this one says,
"Today's skies are
creating a sweet
atmosphere to indulge
to the home and family life.
It's an ideal day to patch
up rocky family relationships
or reach out and re-establish
ties with an old friend.
It's also a great day
for redecorating your home."
- Yeah, that sucks.
Yeah, that's
what I think, too.
I can't afford
to redecorate anymore.
But this one here,
this one says--
this one says, "Take
time for yourself.
Though being alone
might be hard,
it's a good day to stay centered
and focus on you," which I like.
God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot
change, the courage to change
the things I can, and the wisdom
to know the difference.
I keep coming back.
It works.
Good meeting, guys.
Good meeting, man.
See you later.
I don't know
why you're mad at me.
- Nobody's mad, Mom.
Well, I wouldn't expect
to see her at any more meetings.
She was never committed
to her sobriety.
I tried to warn you.
- Warn me of what?
Life?
- No.
- What are you so afraid of?
What is it, Mom?
You sit inside all day.
You don't leave
your house, and you
find all these little things
that make you feel better about,
what?
Not doing anything at all?
- One day at a time.
That's what they say.
Things haven't always
been easy on me.
- Well, then stop
judging everybody else.
Stop pretending to be so f*cking
perfect when you're not.
It's bullshit!
- What about you, huh?
What mom do you know that has
a son that goes to prison?
- Oh, there you go.
At least you f*cking
said it, Mom.
Thank you.
Finally!
- You know what it's like for me
to go to the grocery store
or to church, and everybody
stare and whisper?
You have no idea what it's
like, how lonesome it is for me
to be this age and alone.
- Just get out into the world!
Go out into it, Mom!
People talk.
f*ck 'em!
They're going to say things.
f*ck 'em!
The world's not going to chew
you up and spit you out,
I promise you.
- Well, it has.
You don't know.
- OK, so it has.
So?
- I'm trying to fix some
things within myself.
- Stop trying to fix
everything, Mom.
Stop!
And just accept that we're all a
little broken, every one of us,
and that at a certain point,
you just got to go out and fly.
- I think you're being very
judgmental, and you're cussing.
- f*ck.
f*ck.
f*ck.
f*ck.
f*ck.
f*ck, Mom, just say it!
It's like the most
satisfying word.
It's the most beautiful word
in the English language.
It's OK.
f*ck!
It could be a noun,
an adjective or an adverb.
It can be whatever
the f*ck you want to be.
f*ck!
Just f*cking say it, Mom!
- I think love is
the most beautiful word.
- OK, Mom.
Coming in.
Coming in.
Behind you.
Behind you.
Behind you.
Behind you.
Hey, Pat, can I
borrow your phone?
- Oh, yeah.
Sure.
- Come on, Billie.
Come on.
Merry Christmas.
It's Billie.
Leave a message,
and I'll get back to you.
- Hey, Billie, it's Travis.
Uh, trying to get hold of you.
Call me back.
Merry Christmas.
It's Billie.
Merry Christmas.
It's Billie.
Leave a message,
and I'll get back to you.
It's Billie.
Merry Christmas.
- Hot.
Hot.
Hot.
Coming through.
Hot plate.
Hot plate.
- f*ck, f*ck!
f*ck!
Merry Christmas.
It's Billie.
Leave a message.
- Yo!
My man Travis.
What's up, man?
- Hey.
- I thought I was going
to miss the bus, man.
It must be running late.
How is your mom?
I haven't seen
her around lately.
Is she cheating on me
with Whole Foods?
You can tell me, bro.
- I don't think so.
- I mean, that's
a strong a*s lady, man.
I would have changed my name,
moved away from here,
moved across the country, out
of the country, Costa Rica.
Yeah.
I would have moved
to Costa Rica.
I like that.
Come in.
- What are you doing?
- I'm-- I'm just getting
rid of stuff, reorganizing.
Oh, my gosh, trying to make
room for you in your closet.
- Sorry about what
I said earlier.
I think you've come a long way,
and I'm really proud of you.
I just wish you weren't
so hard on yourself.
- I wish you weren't
so hard on yourself.
- I guess
it runs in the family.
- Well, it
skipped your brother.
You deserve to be happy, Mom.
- I'm working on it.
- Good night.
Hello?
Billie, what?
Billie?
Billie?
What?
Where are you?
Tell me where you are, Billie?
Stay right there!
- Travis?
Travis!
Travis!
- Hey.
- Hi.
- How are you?
- Good.
I'm really good.
How are you?
Do you want anything?
- No, I'm OK.
- Yeah.
You know, I used
to be a bartender.
Did you know that?
- I didn't know that.
- It's true.
It's true.
What will it be?
- I don't want
anything to drink.
- Ah.
We should toast to something.
- I wanted to apologize.
- Oh, you want me
to toast to apologies?
- Are you OK?
- I'm good, but I'm not
sorry, so something else.
- I'm sorry.
You're sorry.
You're sorry.
Oh, that's good.
Good.
- Billie.
Billie, come on.
Hey, don't do that.
Hey.
Hey, stop!
Don't do that!
Hey.
- No!
f*ck you!
What the f*ck!
- You don't need it.
You don't need it.
- No!
- It's OK.
It's OK.
You don't need it.
You don't need it.
- T-minus 10 seconds
till countdown.
That's what everyone's
saying, right?
- Nobody's saying that.
- Yes, they are.
They're all talking about it.
- Nobody's talking about it.
You don't need any of this, OK?
You're OK.
You don't
know what I need.
You don't know what I want.
I mean, maybe I
don't want to be OK.
Maybe that's what I want.
I mean, what do you know?
- OK.
Tell me.
I'm here.
I want to listen.
What do you want?
I'm here.
Do you want to sit down with me?
Do you want to sit down?
- I wish I could, but I can't.
I have dinner in the oven.
You must be starving, right?
- Smells good.
- Do you think I look pretty?
- I think you look beautiful.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- I wanted to see
what it'd be like.
What do you think of my home?
Do you like it?
- I love it.
I love what you've
done with the place.
- Yeah.
- Hey, hey.
Billie?
What are these?
What are these?
What are these?
Blue--
What are they?
Billie, what are these?
Hey, what are these?
What are these?
- I'm thinking of redecorating
and painting everything--
- Did you take these?
- --salmon color.
- Billie, listen to me.
Did you take these?
What are these?
Have you taken these?
- Did you know
salmon swim upstream?
- Have you taken these?
- That's before
they start to mate.
- Have you-- have
you taken these?
- Grizzly bears
come and eat them.
- How many of these
did you take?
- 76.
- Billie, don't f*ck
with me right now.
- 76.
- Billie, I'm not playing
with you right now.
I'm trying to help you, please.
How many did you take?
- You don't sing.
You don't dance.
What do you do?
What do you do?
You're just a nobody like me.
- You're not a nobody.
- You sit there quietly
judging everybody.
And you think that
you know everything.
- I know.
- And the people that
need the most help
are the people that are f*cked
up, that pretend to be OK,
but they're the people
that need the most help.
And I'm right.
I know I'm right.
- I know, you're right.
- What do you know?
- I know that you're Billie.
I know that I'm sorry and that
I'm so happy I know you.
- Who are you?
Tell me about you!
- What do you mean?
What do you want to know?
- Tell me something about you.
- I mean, I grew up
in this neighborhood.
I have a brother named Jake.
- Tell me something about you.
You!
I've been telling you
about me this whole time.
What is it about you?
- I k*lled a man once.
I k*lled-- I k*lled
a man once on accident.
At least I think
it was on accident.
I don't know.
I really don't know.
I remember I came home,
and the lights were out.
I remember the door was closed.
I don't remember
opening the door,
but I remember my wife naked
on the bed with this man.
And he was a cop because his
uniform was on the dresser.
And I remember him coming at me
and saying, sir, calm down.
Calm down, sir.
It's going to be OK, sir.
Calm down, sir.
I don't remember hitting him.
I don't remember hitting him.
I just remember that the bed
sheets were soaked in blood,
that my wife was screaming.
And she wouldn't stop screaming.
She was screaming
and screaming and screaming.
So I took the g*n and--
I wasn't going
to k*ll her, though.
I just wanted her
to feel like I might.
I wasn't going to k*ll her.
- Do you think two people
can share the same prison?
What the hell?
What are you doing in my house?
Who are you?
- I-- I don't know.
- Who are you talking to?
- I don't-- call the police.
- What is going on here?
What are you doing in my house?
- Oh, my god.
- Billie!
Billie!
Billie!
Billie!
Call an ambulance!
Call an ambulance!
Stay with us, Billie!
Stay with me, OK?
I'm right here with you.
I'm right here with you.
I'm not going anywhere.
Listen to me, Billie!
Listen to my voice.
Listen to my voice, Billie!
I'm right here.
Please be careful.
Please be careful.
I'm right here with you.
I'm right here with you, OK?
Billie, I'm right here.
I'm right here.
Listen to me, OK?
Is she OK?
Is she going to be OK?
What's happening?
What is she doing right now?
- Sir, stay back.
Let us do our job.
- Travis!
Travis!
Travis!
What is it?
- Mom, I can't do it!
- Oh, my god.
What is it?
What's happening?
Oh, my god.
What's the matter?
What is the matter?
- All right.
Just breathe.
Just breathe.
Just breathe.
Can I help you?
- Evelyn.
- Yes.
Yes.
We're here
to bring Travis in.
- Why?
Why?
What did he do?
- Ma'am, please do not make this
harder than what it has to be.
- Wait a minute.
Why?
What has he done?
- It was a situation
involving a young lady.
- What situation?
He's been here.
Travis?
You've been out tonight, Travis?
- Don't just barge in my house.
- Mom, please.
Listen.
Calm down.
What happened over here?
- I'm redecorating.
- Step aside.
Travis!
Travis!
- What are you doing?
- Hey!
- You stay away from my son!
You stay away from my son!
- Put that down!
- Stop!
Jesus.
- Calm down!
- Stay away!
Stay away from my son!
- Mrs. Williams!
- Travis!
- You fascist!
police.
Stay away!
I feel surprisingly good.
I'd like my phone call.
I'm entitled to a phone call.
I know my rights.
I'm not saying anything
until I talk to my lawyer.
Not a word.
- So, the gentleman
from the house
isn't pressing any charges.
He said it was
a misunderstanding.
He just wants to make
sure everyone is OK.
You're free to go.
- Exactly.
- Stand up.
Sorry about this, Travis.
- Thank you.
- Ma'am, I'm this close to
holding you for a full 24 hours.
But frankly, I
don't want you here.
I don't want you
anywhere near me.
- Oh, I don't want to be here.
- Chill out.
Chill out!
You got me?
- Yes, sir.
And I've come
to realize that if I'm
not living in solution, then
I'm wallowing in the problem.
I can't change the way you
feel, the things that you say.
If I'm looking around
at all my loved ones
and expecting things out
of you, I'm playing God,
I've already lost.
Expectations are just
premeditated resentments.
When I start to expect
things from you, it's over.
I need to be in the 12 steps.
I need to open that big book.
I need to be working with
other men in this program
to keep me sober.
For me, it's about
accountability.
Thank you.
Anybody else feel like sharing?
Anyone?
- I'd like to share.
I have something I'd
like to share, James.
Thank you.
This is a poem I wrote,
I'd like to share.
It's never been
performed before.
Love.
Love chokes me.
Love steals the breath
from my lungs.
Love hurts me.
Love is a dark day with no sun.
It spits and spreads.
It's a disease.
And I'm already dead.
Love is the sh*t
on the bottom of my shoe,
dragged across
your perfect little room.
Love isn't for me.
It's for you.
f*ck you, I say in this
dark, dimmed room.
f*ck you, I scream from
the top of my lungs f*ck you,
I scream to be heard by none.
f*ck you!
f*ck you!
f*ck you!
f*ck you!
f*ck you!
I scream and I
scream and I scream
till the echoes of my heart come
through my chest and I gasp.
A sliver of light.
The palm of my hand
pressed against the curves
of your breasts.
Up stream.
The world spins just for you.
From limes to lemons to oranges.
I know now I'm a grapefruit.
I'm a grapefruit.
I'm a grapefruit.
And I'm desperate to live.
But the weight of myself
is too much to give.
So I close my eyes.
And I risk it all because
for you, I'm willing to fall.
Thank you.
- The floor is open now.
Anybody else feel like sharing?
- I do.
I'd like to share.
I'm Billie.
And I'm an addict.
And I'm really happy to be here.
- Hi, Billie.
Hi, Billie.
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Grapefruit (2025)
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