03x07 - Strip for the Tip

[bunniefuu]

Previously, on
"Below Deck Sailing Yacht"...

[beeping]

Thirty-one knots.

Tom dropped the ball big time.

This is why I'm not into,
like, guys my age.

I just wish I hadn't,
like, slept with him,

because now I feel weird.

You've got a boyfriend.

I ****ed up and I'm gonna admit
I ****ed up.

Is this the biggest [bleep] you
to my sh... Ty day?

You're a ****ing sket...

You're looking very pretty.

I know.

I'm going to bed.

It's my bed now.

- Good night.
- Okay, wow.

Ugh!

Are you coming to sleep
in here or not?

Primary charter guest,
Jim blumenthal.

Cannot wait to
experience sailing in menorca

with his girlfriend
and close friends.

And the guests are requesting
a night in Spain dinner party

with traditional local dishes.

- We're on a roll.
- We are on a roll.

I mean, except
for yesterday morning.

I wanna prove to you on
this charter that I should stay.

I need people that I can trust,
whatever it is.

Yeah.

If I put him back on
anchor watch

and it happens again,
I'm ****ed.

*BELOW DECK SAILING YACHT*
Season 03 Episode 07

Episode Title: " Strip for the Tip"
Aired on: April 04, 2022.

I feel stress that this boat's
not gonna look perfect.

Looks good.

All done.

Perfect.

I'm looking forward to
this charter.

I was excited.

I'm a bit nervous now.

I thought the anchor
situation was, like,

wrapped up by having the meeting
and the chat, and what...

I don't know,
it doesn't sound like.

In what sense?

Kind of brought it back up
again and just said...

Mm-hmm.

Look, I've been going
through, like, a lot,

but I've never had
to deal with this before,

so I'm just learning.

All crew, all crew, everyone
in the c*ck, please.

- Can you pour champagne, please?
- Yeah.

- Here they come.
- I'm excited.

That is a big boat.
My god, that thing is beautiful.

Eyes on the prize, guys.

- Well, hello!
- Hello!

- Hi.
- Imagine meeting you here.

- Are you Jim?
- I'm Jim.

I'm captain Glenn,
nice to meet you.

- Nice to meet you, Glenn.
- Welcome to menorca.

- This is Daisy.
- Hi, nice to meet you.

My hands are sweaty.

- You ready to sail?
- Absolutely.

- Tom, nice to meet you.
- Hi. Ashley.

- Nice to meet you.
- Thank you.

Marco, Ken.

Well, welcome. I'd like
to welcome you all to menorca.

Hang on, that's my line,
that's my line.

Yeah, I wanna formally
welcome you guys all on board.

I'm just gonna hand
you over to Daisy.

She's gonna take you for
a little tour of the boat.

- Outstanding.
- All right?

- Thank you so much.
- Thank you very much.

- Cheers.
- Salud!

Nice.

- Do you wanna follow me?
- We would love to.

So, up here we
have the sun deck,

the bunny pad,
the jacuzzi.

It's like a little area
for lounging.

Topless only.

- I said "topless," not "tapas."
- tapas!

Then you obviously have
the main saloon here.

This is a nice area to cool down
in, have pre-dinner drinks.

- You got it?
- Ooh, baby, she's a heavy one.

This is the master cabin.

This is nice and big
and nice and cool.

I think we're all sharing.

I think it's probably big enough
for all of these people.

- Yeah, it is, right?
- To be fair.

Okay, that's creepy,
but all right.

And then we have
two twin cabins.

- Wanna take this one?
- Yeah, we'll take that one.

All good.

We're moving shortly.

- Are we gonna sail?
- No, not enough breeze.

All right.

- Dinner, will we say 9:00?
- Perfect.

And then tomorrow night you guys
are having a seafood-palooza,

followed by a talent show.

Guests request a talent show,
put on by the yacht crew.

But I can tell you in advance...

Woo!

We are a pretty
talentless bunch.

It's frustrating
when we're asked requests

like a talent show, because
I don't have ****ing time

to think of a bloody talent.

Pretty much the only thing
I'm good at is

getting tan and
drinking margaritas.

Let's get this party
on the road.

And so we'll do stern, bow,
operating spring,

- which is loose.
- Perfect.

That is the most
sophisticated sail control

I've ever seen, I mean...

Every... He has...

[laughing]

That's all lines clear.

There you go, turn it up.
Turn it up, love.

Ken, find some wind, let's go.

All right!

I almost patted your butt,
I thought it was her.

So, you got really lucky.

Or unlucky, depending
on how you look at it.

Unlucky.
Come on, Monica.

There ya go.
There ya go.

Aw!

I spoke to her.

I mean, I've kind of felt
like when I apologized to her,

maybe she was gonna give
a small apology to me.

But she likes to be
the victim of things, so...

We're working on
the same boat together.

- It's a small ****ing space.
- It is.

[bleep]

- Tom?
- Yes?

Can you go out and
look at the port side?

Port side of the house,
the railing, the windows.

Yeah, I have done, Gary said.

Have you...
Is it done?

No, no, no.

Do you want me to go now, yeah?

Go out and look at it.

Ah.

Hey, kel, so
you're gonna go down?

- Yeah.
- And I'll see you at 10:00.

10:00 P.M.?

Are we on lates together?

Yay!

You cool up here
for another 30 minutes?

Yeah, man.

You're so annoying.

You and Gabriela are,
like, a thing now.

I offered you a threesome.
You said no.

I will not be having
any threesomes with her.

Oh, is that jealousy
I hear in your voice?

No, I'm not gonna get...
I don't get jealous.

I thought you guys
sorted your stuff out.

We have.

So, are you girls friends now?

[laughing]

Oh, shut up.

...And it wasn't until
about an hour after that.

I don't get it.

If I were Tom, I would
be working my a*s off.

He doesn't even seem fazed.

Like, pick up a chamois,
get to work, do something.

Prove your value.

Kind of tipping in.

Your knees were kinda like...

Yep.

Oh, he wanna sh...
Up my life.

Ah!

Dead ahead looks all clear.

Let her go now,
you can let her go.

You're welcome.

Girls, do you mind changing
into your blacks, please?

- Copy.
- We need a wardrobe change.

That's two shots
at the waterline.

- I'm coming.
- [laughing]

Colin, that looked
like a really good bite.

- We're done, thanks, mate.
- Copy that.

I'm gonna go start pulling
a few things for the table.

Yeah, I think the fly bridge
might be nice.

- Yeah, and then I'll pull all the table stuff.
- And I think it'll be a bit cooler,

because dinner's
gonna be at 9:00.

Ah.

I'm struggling.

You're not struggling,
this looks beautiful.

I don't wanna put too
much stuff on the table.

This looks great.

I'm just really having,
like, horny problems.

- Well, that's easy...
- And they're not gonna go away.

That's easily solved, I think.

No, it's not.

All of these forks are
different sizes, by the way.

- Do you need a hand up here?
- I don't really know.

Should I just provide your
entertainment for the evening?

Yeah.

Just because I've got
such a nice personality,

you guys are, like...
I'm like a magnet to you.

No, I'm... No.

I know you are,
so don't kiss me again.

So, now we've all kissed you?

- No.
- Except Kelsie.

Yeah, yes...
Wait, say that again.

Jesus Christ!

You've all kissed me... Exactly.

- Exactly.
- Yeah!

This whole
Gabriela-Gary situation

is ****ing frustrating.

Like, I could have
...ed Gary already.

I could have done it already.

- No one ever saw that for sure.
- ****ed.

No, me neither.

Whatever, Gabriela.

I don't usually lose,
so good luck.

There's something
in the water on this boat.

- Yeah.
- [phone rings]

yeah, my name is Glenn.

I'm calling from
the parsifal III.

I'm looking for a deckhand, and
I need somebody pretty soon.

Okay, I'll see what we can do.

- Thank you very much.
- Bye-bye.

I've given it a couple days,

and what's happened since
hasn't convinced me

that it was a one-off
[bleep] up.

Mm-mm.

No, don't get me wrong,
I like the guy.

But what else is
he gonna do wrong

if that was his
judgment on that?

It's a good point.

He's still distracted,
and on top of that,

it hasn't really sunk in

how serious that was,
and that's scary.

Coming up...

It took us quite
a long time to drag.

That is not myself.

I've been going through
some things, as you know.

The whole point of
anchor watch

is precisely to make sure
that doesn't happen.

And later...

Ladies and gentlemen, our very
own Gary "the lady k*ller" king!

- Yeah!
- Ah!

Oh, my god!

They're not seated yet, right?

No, they're not.

Get yourself ready.

You look beautiful.

Thanks, baby.

Damn, I wish I could
take my photos.

- Beautiful. - Oh, my god, look at this.
- Marvelous, look at that, look at that.

Ah, the matador is here.

[trill tongue]

Ha!

Juan Carlos españa,
at your service.

Dear baby Jesus.

Somebody said it
was Spanish night.

It is, I love it.

Tony, you went all out.

I expect you to wear that the
rest of the trip, I'm impressed.

I mean, that is...

- This is real polyester.
- I have respect.

[laughing]

That sunset is so amazing.

Guests are seated and
wine service is done.

- Okay, Marcos, we're ready.
- Una momenta.

I think you can go to bed, brü.

- Are you coming up, Marcos?
- Yeah.

Okay, vamos.

Keep it together.

You just go to the far, far end;
I'll go middle.

Okay.

To a wonderful Spanish evening.

- Look at this.
- Oh, yeah.

- Olé!
- Olé, olé!

We have traditional octopus,

and I did a twist, with
a spicy aioli.

Enjoy, guys.

- Thank you!
- You're welcome.

That is delicious.

It is so spicy,
but it's...

In a fantastic way.

Can we get him
to come home with us?

Okay.

Thank you so much.

All eaten.

They said it was delicious.

Thank you.

No, never would she do that.

Gabriela, the service
is excellent.

- Thank you!
- So good.

- Hello!
- Hey, how are you?

Good, how are you?

Did you get some sleep?

- I did.
- Good for you.

I'm feeling ready for the night.

Good.

- Vamanos!
- Come on, let's go, let's go.

Wow, I love lamb.

So, for you guys we have,
like, lamb stew.

It has some mushrooms,
white wine vinegar,

cooked for four hours.

All right, guys, enjoy it.

I think he's got some skills.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, pervert.

Will you just do laundry
for 15 minutes,

and then you can go to bed.

You just wake up at half-six.

Okay, let's go.

That is beautiful as well.

We have a butternut squash
tart, super famous here.

- It's amazing.
- Gracias!

Mm! Mm!

Do you mind, I'm trying
to do dishes here.

- Hooters!
- Guess... No.

Give a real guess.

Definitely not, Jim.

Give a real...
Do you guys know?

Wait, wait...

Chris has the answer.

He gave you the shocker
at the gym?

I'm so sorry.

You're stuck with me, and you
should be compensated fairly.

The only thing
that's gonna stretch

that out is a stronger wind.

- Strong wind, yeah.
- So, she should come and get us.

- Exactly.
- So, let's explain this to her.

Yeah.

I don't know if this
...ing anchor watch

is gonna do anything.

The meal was unbelievable.

Is it time for bed?

- Kelsie, do you wanna come up?
- Yep.

What happened the other day
has never happened to me before.

And I know you've got
jobs to do tonight,

but your most important
job is this.

Critical...

Any question, like should
I get them up,

the moment you think that,
come and get us up.

If we get anywhere near
the lines

that I've drawn you, that...

Yeah, like... Exactly.

Everyone, I think, is
still a little shook

from running aground,

so I was totally expecting
a very thorough walk through.

But I know my duties
on night watch...

Me and the stars,
and the sunrises.

I'm nervous because
of what's happened.

- Of what happened, yeah.
- Eh?

- Well, you can count on me.
- That cannot happen.

Glenn, I got it...

Wake you up if
I'm unsure about anything.

Roger, copy.

- Okay.
- Nope, it won't.

Good.

All right,
see you guys tomorrow.

We're gonna go to bed, too.

Good night.
Sleep well.

- Cheers, thank you.
- Good night.

No, not mine.

Mm!

[laughing]

There's five knots of wind,

so there are some rocks
that come within the line.

I'll be up now.

It's not fun to
wake the boss up,

but I'd rather wake the boss up
than disobey the boss.

Thank god nothing's
happening, the boat's fine.

I'm happy Kelsie,

she's got the confidence
to come and wake me up.

She understands
what's required of her.

[alarm sounds]

♪ Gary's gonna wash his hair ♪

♪ he's gonna wash his hair,
wash his hair, wash his hair ♪

♪ my hair's gonna feel clean ♪

mother ****er!

- Morning.
- Morning.

That looks good.

Brie, raspberry, and then
I put honey truffle on top.

[bleep]

- Good morning.
- Can I offer you some coffee?

I'll take some coffee.

- Sure.
- Awesome.

Ooh... What was...
Oh, gosh.

Good morning.

There was a wasp.

Good, Jane.

Here we've got fritatas with
spinach, onion, and cheese.

Oh, my god, that looks amazing.

These are mini croque monsieurs.

Here we have a brie croûte

with brie, raspberry,
and honey truffle on top.

Son of a...

Pastries, bread, bacon,
vegan bacon, hash browns...

Oh, my god, there's more?

I'm going straight
for the bacon.

So good.

If you and Colin have time, you
could work on the talent show.

What does everyone wanna do,
like, sing a song?

As long as it doesn't
have to be a good voice.

Like, give me a line,
like,

♪ oh, here's the fruit ♪

that actually
sounded really good.

Nothing's off the table
in yachting.

♪ Oh, ahoy, stand back ♪

- oh, ahoy.
- Oh, ahoy.

We're not on a pirate ship.

We could be.

You pretty much can ask the crew
to do anything except sex.

And I've been offered
money for sex before.

We can't choreograph
a musical and work.

[laughing]

[text chimes]

[sighs]

For this boat to operate
effectively and safely,

I need every crew member
to be on their a game.

Tom has been
distracted and defensive

since we dragged aground.

What's a good excuse for that?
I can't think of one.

For me, it's actually
better to be man down

than risk it ever
happening again.

He's not giving me what I need.

He's not taking advantage
of that small opportunity.

[sighs]

Tom, Tom, Tom, Glenn.

Meet me in the crew
mess, please.

Come on down here.
Let's have a seat.

Okay, Tom, you know,
I've had a little bit of time

to think about this,
and it's quite clear

that it took us quite
a long time to drag.

I have no understanding
of how you couldn't notice it

if you're on anchor watch.

To me, it's impossible, it's...

The whole point of anchor
watch is precisely

to make sure that
doesn't happen.

And I feel bad, and I
have no pleasure in this,

but you know, the more
I think about it...

It's okay, don't worry
about it, Glenn.

Yeah, I have to let you go.
I got no choice.

Just let me say it while
I'm here in front of you.

That is not myself.

I've been going through some
things, as you know, that...

I know that.

And that really did affect me
in what's going on.

I understand that.

It's really clear to me that
Tom's mind is in another place.

So, it's not like we can
just let him stay

because he can't do any harm.

He can still do harm
in that mindset.

We're not here
to provide a job for Tom.

We're here to run a safe boat.
That's gotta be first.

Well, I'm sorry it couldn't
have worked out better.

It is what it is.

Oh, my god.

Get your stuff ready, because
I think I'm gonna

have a ride for you in about
an hour, hour and a half.

- Yeah.
- Cool?

- It is what it is.
- All right, man, thanks.

I feel like this is gonna
be one of

the biggest lessons
in my whole life.

I just wanna start
this whole season again,

and just do a
...ing better job.

You can't slack in this game.

I've learned that the hard way.

Yeah, I've gotta go.

It's a shame,
but it is what it is.

I'm sad to leave you guys.

Yeah, well, bro,
you're gonna grow with this...

- Yeah.
- Definitely.

I have to.

Yeah, you have to,
yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Gary, Daisy, and Colin,

can you guys meet me up
in the wheelhouse?

Copy that, on my way.

- Hi, Tom.
- Hi, mum.

- How are you?
- Been better.

I have to leave, basically.

I'm not allowed to stay.

It's too big of an incident
to sort of ignore.

- It was, you know...
- Oh.

Yeah, I'm...

Yeah.

I just wanted to have a quick
word with you guys about Tom.

If there was a way I could
keep him I would have,

but I can't trust him,
and we just can't afford

to have somebody on board
that we can't trust.

We are gonna be
a little bit short.

Now, I hope to
get his replacement

on before the next charter.

In the meantime, Colin,
if I could ask you

to help out a little
bit more on deck,

and then you can take up
some of Tom's slack.

Okay, we can make it work.

Yeah, we're all just gonna
have to chip in, all righty?

- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah.

Cool

let's get ready
to rumble on the water sports

I wanna do that.
They have, like, a float.

- Hello.
- Hi.

I hope you don't hold
any hard feelings.

No, we're good.

I know. I know.

We've literally loved and hated
each other this whole trip.

I hope that we can be
friends one day properly.

You know, I hope
we can look back at this

and just laugh at it.

I am gonna miss you,
but it's just, like,

I feel like this is probably,
like, the best thing.

I have learned to never
have sex with a woman

who wants to have sex
with your boss.

- All right, thanks, Ashley.
- Bye, hon.

This could be
Tom's ride coming now.

No!

- Love you, man.
- Love you.

Take it easy.

I didn't wanna let anyone
down on the crew,

but I've just been up and down
like a yo-yo, like, constantly.

I'm actually leaving the boat,

just for some stuff
going on back home.

- Oh, that makes us sad.
- Oh!

- Boom.
- Take care of you.

- Yeah.
- You take care of you.

Good luck with everything.

But definitely need to listen
to people more and to...

Not to act on my emotions.

- It's been real, bro.
- Take care, man.

I will.

Look after yourself,
keep in touch.

But it's time for me
to say goodbye.

Well, that was unexpected.
That's sad.

Really good life lesson for him.

Big time.

What do I do, what did I miss,
what's happening?

- Feel so out of the loop.
- Jesus...

All right, so, Tom's left.

Yeah, just learned that.

You can go down, if you want.

Come up at 11:00.

Aw, bye, Tom.

We should have somebody by...

By next charter, we should
have the full replacement.

- Are you sad?
- Sad?

I mean, I got a little,
like, teary-eyed.

I mean, I don't, like...

Yeah, we don't want
nobody to go.

Well, let's see
how's the new boy.

I ****ing hope it's someone
that Kelsie likes,

someone that Gabriela likes.

I'm done.

We gotta work together
on this, then.

Yeah, I know.

I can jump in wherever.
What about the watches?

Kelsie's on nights now anyway,

so if you help me out
in the day,

even if I can make you have
a break during the day,

put a chamois in my hand.

Gary, we're gonna fire up.

I'm gonna go change my shirt.

You can start picking up.

Anchor's home, anchor's home.

Copy, anchor home, thanks.

This is a good breeze, eh?

Now that Tom's off the boat,
I really wanna get things

back to normal as quickly
as possible

to lighten the mood and
focus on making sure

the guests have
the best experience possible.

Gary, can you pitch up?
I'm gonna do the mizzen.

Copy.

Can I do it?

I'm gonna try to
get everything away,

because I'm worried we're
gonna heel hard.

I feel like I kinda
know what I'm doing,

but you make this look good.

- Do I?
- Yeah, yeah.

Well, thank you, thank you.

To the deck, everyone.

Let's go see what's happening
up there, I guess.

How's that?

Boom, you're there.

Okay, main.

Sorry it's so windy.

I just moussed my hair,
I don't know

what you're talking about, pal.

That's it, yep.

- It's getting serious now.
- Let's haul out the genoas.

I don't like these cabinets.

And you're good.

Oh!

We are moving!

Holy cow!

Ah!

- Nice, I like excitement.
- Yeah, nice job, Colin.

Dear baby Jesus.

Coming up...

- Ready whenever you are.
- Oh, yeah?

- Yeah.
- When you told me that?

I thought Gabriela
came down and told you?

Where's our food?

Oh ****ing..

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[bleep] me!

That's what we
should be doing, is, like,

a pots-and-pans band

- for our talent show.
- I can do that.

Yeah, but that's
what we should be doing.

See, that would be fun.

Gary, if you want, we'll put
that lazy sheet away now.

Okay, copy.

Well, Ken, I guess you
could call the mizzen.

Yes, sir.

Good.

We're gonna go to four.

That's four shots, four shots.

- Copy, thanks, mate.
- Whew, okay.

Dinner is at 9:00.

You're on dinner
service tonight.

Cool.

I don't know what to do about
this ****ing talent show.

You know I used to be a
professional dancer, right?

What kind of dancing did you do?

- Samba and salsa.
- Oh, cool.

That would be good.

I grew up dancing salsa
since I was, like, five,

so I was born for this.

When I first moved to I.A.,
I ended up getting picked up

on a professional samba team,

and my instructor asked me
to assist him

on his private salsa
lessons with celebrities.

So, I got this.

Ahh... Yeah.

I think they would love that.

Yeah, they would.

You wanna brainstorm ideas?

Does any of us have
any talent? You.

Zero.

You do play guitar.

So, Daisy and
the girls dance.

You're the headlining act,
with a...

- Yeah, I'm...
- He's gonna tell a joke.

- That's gonna be the highlight.
- Highlight.

Say, hey, guys, we're all
gonna do a 20-second slot.

So, this is all you get.

Everyone can laugh and applaud,
then we move to the next one.

That's it, done.
Easy-peasy.

Okay, the tender's good.

That's about it,
isn't it?

All right, what do
you kids wanna do?

- Let's pull out the...
- Water stuff?

- Yeah, let's go, water toys.
- Water stuff? Okay.

All right.

Okay, are we gonna
blow up some stuff?

Yeah, you are.

Yeah, we need to blow
up a sailboat.

I don't know where
everybody went.

Whew, okay.

Half an hour nap.

They should never leave us
in charge, because...

I know.

We're just gonna come down
and screw some sh... up.

I bet this is their,
like, worst nightmare.

[snoring]

- Oh!
- Can I get anyone anything?

Can I jump off the side here?

- Is Gary there?
- No, nobody's there.

- Oh, okay, you guys are just...
- Should I wait?

No... No, you can go,
I'll stay here.

Gary, Gary, Daisy.

Yeah, dais, go ahead.

Hey, I'm just on
the swim platform.

The guests are about
to go swimming.

I can wait here until
you're ready.

On my way.

So, you promise Gary
and Colin will not get mad

at me if I jump?

I promise you, I will take
full responsibility.

You can see all the witnesses.

I mean, there are ****ing
how many other people up?

I hate my life.

Whew!

Good job.

Whew, [bleep].
We need a deckie.

You guys are jumping
over the side.

They were like, "are you
sure I can jump off?"

- I'm like, "you are allowed to jump off."
- Daisy said...

Daisy said I could do it!

Oh, you're in big trouble, mate!

You're such a rat!

You're in big trouble!

We do have kayaks also,

and there's some nice caves
to look at in there.

I don't know if that's
your guys' fancy.

- Ooh, yeah.
- Yeah!

[bleep] really?

I mean, I'm used to hard work,

don't get me wrong,
but being a man down

ing sucks, you know?

Kelsie's working at night,
so she's sleeping.

It's like, [bleep] you need
that extra crew member there

just to take a bit of load off.

All right, we going
on the kayak?

You guys are ready to go.

This is the best.

What's up?

That is cool.

I mean, how often do
you get to sit in a cave

and look at that view?

- Is that dirty?
- Yeah.

- Wait, fishy dirty?
- Fresh fishy.

- Mm, then we'll put it in there.
- Ehh, ehh, ehh.

- I smell it.
- Ehh, ehh.

All crew, all crew, the guests
are on the way back.

Girls, change into
your blacks, please.

Ah.

I've got the kayak.

How were the caves, nice?

- Really fun.
- Ah!

Rehydration is key.

I'm gonna pound a
grapefruit Martini tomorrow.

We still have St. Germaine
left, right?

I'm doing wine tomorrow.

Permission to invade.

What's for dinner tonight,
my friend?

We have lobster,
clams, mussels...

- Oh!
- Scallops, calamari.

Tonight, timing's very
important because

there's gonna be a lot
of dishes, family-style.

All right,
we'll see you tonight.

So, we need to keep
the freshness.

The mussels, clams,
lobster, scallops...

There's a lot of things going
on in my galley right now.

Are you okay for your music?

Yeah, I'm the emcee.

Sweet. Excellent.
What time we doing this?

After din-din.

Stunning.
Rawr.

Oh, wow.

Come on, hurry up, hurry up.
No, get with your wife.

Make sure and get the sunset.

Daisy's upstairs with them.
What do you need?

You have to wait until
they sit down?

I don't want it to be
overcooked, you know?

Are you gonna try and
kiss me again tomorrow night?

And Daisy's job.

You're gonna do water,
or you want me to?

Okay.

Isn't "Kevin" the male version
of "Karen?"

No, it's actually "Chad,"
I think.

Daisy's doing wine
and everyone's seated.

Okay.

To a great trip, to great
friends, and to our next trip.

- Oh!
- Yeah!

- Ooh!
- I like that.

Speaking Spanish...

- Ready whenever you are.
- Huh?

- Ready.
- Oh, yeah?

- Yeah.
- When you told me that?

I thought Gabriela came down
and told you.

- You told me go ahead?
- Really,

are you serious
right now?

Daisy's doing wine
and everyone's seated.

That's why I was standing
here staring at you.

All right, all right, all right.

I thought...
Okay, misunderstanding.

Loco, how dare you throw me
under the bus like that?

I have to try to send everything
at the same time.

You can ask me for,
"oh, I need now."

It's not gonna happen.
Where's our food?

Raw, raw, raw, raw, raw.

What the [bleep], Gabby?

Bad.

Ai sh...

Where's our food?

I'm actually really hungry.

Ai sh...

So, this is Marcos'
homemade bread.

Next time, would you
like me to say "fire?"

Okay.

I'm caught off-guard when
Marcos throws me under the bus

right in front of
my ****ing face.

Who does that?

This is not my first
dinner service.

Like [bleep] man.

You can go with that so they can
start picking.

- Shrimp tartare?
- Yeah.

So, we have local
shrimp

- Oh, yay.
- tartare.

- I've never had shrimp tartare.
- Neither have I.

But it's really delicious.

- Can I take this?
- Go.

Calamari ala plancha and
scallops beurre blanc.

Beurre blanc,
beurre blanc.

Whatever.

[trills]

Scallops with beurre
blanc sauce.

Yes, that is Marty's favorite.

That is delicious.

Keep it together.
Okay.

Oh, my gosh,
this is heaven on earth.

Oh, my god, look at that.

- Marcos, this is...
- Oh, my god.

The paella, baby.

This is calamari
and chorizo rice.

Ooh!

I love you, Marcos.

Have you tried the
scallops yet?

Yeah, the scallops
are amazing.

Ah, okay,
so, I'm gonna tell some jokes.

What?

I'm used to hearing,
like, "fire," go ahead.

Oh, they're sitting,
drinking wine.

She just keep talking,
and I didn't get it.

Okay.

This food is ****ing phenomenal.

Thanks, bro.

All crew, all crew, can everyone
come to the crew mess?

Oh sh...

[bleep] this is embarrassing.

Oh, my lord.

This talent show
better be amazing.

But white could be cute, too,
if we do white.

I don't like singing and
dancing in front of people.

The last time I did that,

I was in elementary school
and we sang

"were all in this together,"

and of course they clapped
for us at the end,

because we're ****ing
six years old.

Okay, let's go.

Woo!

[cheering]

I a dies and gentlemen,

welcome to tonight's
parsifal III talent show.

Believe it or not, we all
have full-time jobs,

so it was a really tall order
to put this together.

But we have some amazing
acts for you tonight.

And our opening act,
we have

the parsifal bombshells
performing a sexy salsa.

- Yeah!
- Woo!

The last time I did a
memorized dance routine

was probably when the Macarena
came out in the '90s.

- Hey, hey, hey!
- [clapping]

I'm, like, sweating.

Woo, nice!

Woo!

Okay, now you have to get up.

It's horrible.

Oh, my god!

Whoa, I'd hate to go second.

- Ah!
- Woo!

- Vaya!
- Hey!

Oh, wow.

Holy catfish!

Hey!

[cheering]

Yeah!

Woo!

[cheering]

I just wanna talk a little bit
about my wife.

Oh!

I went to the doctor,
she came with me.

I had a little exam, and
at the end of the exam

the doctor told me
that I could touch myself

whenever I feel like it.

And I'm like, "fantastic."

She said, "no, that's
not what he said.

"He said, 'you could have
a stroke at any time.'"

oh!

[laughing]

Woo!

I'm not married.

♪ Ken wants to be a deckhand ♪

♪ we just might give him a job ♪

♪ Rick and Veronica
are laid-back ♪

♪ but they're probably
freaks in the sack ♪

♪ Natalie's big Jim ♪

♪ he's the horniest man
you'll ever meet ♪

♪ but he'll still sweep
you off your feet ♪

oh!

- Yeah!
- Woo!

Okay, ladies and gentlemen...

Uh-oh.

Please hold onto your seats.

Our very own
Gary "the lady k*ller" king!

Okay, Jim,
you're gonna come with me.

Jim, you brought
this on yourself.

Yeah, he sure did.

[cheering]

[laughing]

Ah!

Oh, my god!

Woo-hoo!

[cheering]

That was unbelievable.

Everyone's a winner.

I'm very proud of the crew.

I'm amazed.
I'm impressed, actually.

I think it's way better
than I was expecting.

That was so dang funny.

Except for Gary,
that was scary.

I love how we both
forgot the choreography.

I know.

Good night, good night,
we'll see you in the morning.

Gabriela, you can go to bed
and get up for 7:00.

- Be on deck at 7:00.
- Yeah.

- Okay.
- I'm exhausted.

Here's your night duties.

Wind picks up to 15 knots,
wake me up, or any alarm.

- You dig?
- Mm-hmm.

Sweet.

And I'm gonna go to bed.
Are you all good?

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, sh... Hell.

Literally, that's why
I was, like...

I was like, Gabriela needs...

No, I just kissed her.

You've kissed three out of
four girls on this boat,

you realize that?

They kissed me.

Yeah.

[laughing]

- You're up early.
- Are you an early riser?

I think you'll be just in
time to watch the sunrise.

You want a coffee or anything?

I hope it's as good
as how the girls make it.

- Well, I guess I am a girl.
- It is perfect.

Oh, if you end
up that direction,

I'd take another coffee.

How is this not uncovered,
it's 7:00?

Kels, can I meet you
in the c*ck?

Why is this not uncovered?

Sh..., hell.

This is annoying.

Okay.

What are we doing?

You've been up for an hour, Jim?
Should have knocked on my door.

Oh!

[snoring]

Good morning, sunshine.

It's gonna be a better morning
when I get a coffee.

Hey, Gary, I know you are
super busy,

but who would I talk to
about getting a coffee?

- Just black coffee?
- Yeah, just black.

I couldn't find a stew anywhere.

Yeah, and I'll be up.

- Gabriela?
- Yes, love?

Can we get a black coffee
for Rick also, please?

- Yes.
- Thanks.

- Morning, Rick.
- Hey, Gabriela.

Hey. How we doing?

One question...

What time are the girls supposed
to be up in the morning?

She was...

Oh, really?

I know, but we've got
two deck crew members

up before any girls.

Okay, okay.

Just trying to work this out.

I'm not trying to cause a fight.

I mean, I'm waking up before
the stew, it's, like...

It's weird.

I don't know.

Okay [bleep] Gary, I'm not gonna
get into an argument with this.

No, because you're
defending yourself...

I'm not arguing at all.

I'm not getting defensive,
I'm saying that's fine, and...

Yeah, but everything I'm just
saying let's work it out,

you just say... And putting
words into my mouth.

- No.
- You are.

You're attacking me and
you're attacking my department.

You're making it sound
like we're lazy.

There's two of us
out on deck, dais.

There's three of you girls
inside for this charter.

What I'm trying
to say, Gary, is

"I got talking to the guests,
I didn't do my job"

isn't an excuse.

- No, she didn't say that.
- That's what I'm trying to say.

I never said she said that.

But you just came to me saying
that Kelsie didn't do her work

because she was doing coffees
and talking to the guests.

That's what I said
I imagine was happening.

I'm actually ****ing
pissed off right now.

How hard is it for Daisy
to acknowledge

we're picking up her slack?

We're a man down,
for [bleep]'s sake.

Throw us a fricking bone here.

Fine.

We're here for the guests,
at the end of the day.

Gary, making a coffee

- is a crazy request.
- Now you're putting words

into my mouth again.

Well, you just said
the problem was the coffees.

Did I say that?
I never said that.

I said the problem is
Kelsie's obviously

had something else to do
but the guests,

and sh... wasn't done.
That was the problem.

Gary is frustrated,
taking it out on me,

and history's repeating itself.

This is your department.

I don't want that
to happen again.

Ugh!

Next on
"below deck sailing yacht"...

You're a very insightful person,

but sometimes you make a
lot of things about you.

You're being a ****ing idiot,
so you better stop it.

No, I'm not being an idiot.
I'm just, like, you...

Yeah, you know what [bleep] off.

Are you girls gonna
fight over Gary tonight?

- No.
- No.

Someone's gonna get hurt,
or someone's gonna get fired.

This storm last night brought
a lot of swell with it.

These are not small swells.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

They're gonna break!

Dog those doors,
please, dog those doors.

Hold, they're gonna break.

Ah, mother... er!
[bleep]

[Gary shouts]