02x14 - Nate Wright Has Left the Building

[bunniefuu]

[lamp shatters]

- Hey, where's Dad?

- Not making us dinner,

apparently.

He's been on the phone for,

like, ever.

- Oh, sweet!

Then I'm making my own dinner.

[gobbles]

- Ew, Nate!

Ugh!

Use a bowl!

- Nothing like

a home-cooked meal.

Ha, ha!

This is the life, Ellen.

Nothing can ruin it for me.

- Pack your things, kids.

I got a new job.

We're leaving Rackleff

and moving to Miami.

both: Miami?

- [retches]

[upbeat music]

- Don't want to go

to school today

The sun is red hot

and I wanna play

But if I get caught

they'll make me pay

Detention again

- Big Nate, Big Nate

- Math and social studies

just ain't my thing

- Big Nate, Big Nate

- Rocking with my band

is where I'm king

Stealing the teacher's teeth

or bailing on a test

- Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh,

ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

Big Nate

[loud clang]

[loud crash]

- Sure won't miss

this Maine weather.

In Miami,

the sun's always shining.

Hey, maybe we'll trade in

this old clunker for a golf

cart-- or a catamaran.

- Ohh, I'm going to learn

to surf and post beach

pics constantly to make

my eight social followers

crazy jealous.

- No one knows us in Miami.

We can be whoever we want.

It'll be like being reborn,

but not so goopy.

How are you going to

reinvent yourself, Nate?

- No.

No, no, no.

I've already

invented myself here.

Mr. Awesome, remember?

I'm basically the glue

holding this town together.

[tires screeching]

- Good morning!

Guess what.

I got you a present.

- Rainbow sweetheart

bracelet

- What's the occasion?

Oh no, did I forget one

of our month-aversaries?

- No, no, I just saw it

and thought you'd like it.

- Oh, Dee Dee, it's great.

I love it.

By the way, I'm so excited.

You get to meet Juniper today.

What do you think we

should do with her?

I'm thinking blueberry picking.

That's probably my favorite

Rackleff-y activity.

- I'm down for whatever.

I'm just excited

to finally meet

your best New York friend.

- You're going to love her.

She's the coolest girl I've

ever met in my entire life.

- That's g-- uh, um, what?

- So then I tells him, that's

my elbow skin you're pinching.

- [laughs]

- Huh?

- [groans]

I have horrible news.

- Your dad is dating Godfrey?

- Worse!

- You're dating Mrs. Godfrey?

[laughs]

- I'm moving to Florida.

[all gasp]

- Why?

- Oh, no!

- Alligator country?

- Yeah.

My dad got a job in Miami.

[all gasp]

- Ugh, moving's rough.

You got to start from square

one to find your place.

When do you have to leave?

- Three days.

- No!

You'll miss my birthday party.

I'm doing a botany theme,

and it's BYOB!

Bring Your Own Bonsai.

- [gasps]

You'll miss the spring musical!

- You'll miss baseball season.

You'll miss everything.

- [groans]

I know!

Don't rub it in.

- Why so glum, my man?

- Principal Nichols, I--

I-- I have some news

that's going to devastate you.

I'm moving.

This is my last week at PS 38.

- [clears throat] Well, I sure

am sorry to hear that, Nate.

I'll miss your lively spirit.

[snickers]

Sorry.

I smile when I'm sad.

Laughing through the pain.

Tears of a clown.

Know what I'm saying?

[laughs]

- I'm free of that boy!

- Free at last!

- Hey, thanks for coming

to Scoopsies, guys.

[Quiet Riot's

"c*m On Feel The Noize"]

- [gasps]

- Come on feel the noise

Girls rock your boys

- Juniper's in the house!

Hey, Junie.

- You look different, Ames!

Older or something.

- Ha-ha, nah.

Come meet the g*ng.

Nate, Francis, Teddy.

And this is my amazing

girlfriend Dee Dee.

- Hi!

It's so great

to finally meet you.

- I'm stoked to meet you guys!

What are we having?

- Everything.

You got to try the strawberry.

It's the best flavor.

- [laughs]

Strawberry?

That's so basic.

You used to be all about acai

and fair trade rice cream.

Your palate must

have disintegrated

from living in the 'burbs.

- Oh, please.

My palate tingles

with sophistication.

I just know how to make do

with what they've got here.

- [sobbing]

Goodbye, Mocha Loca.

So long, Blueberry Mechanical.

Farewell,

Flapple Jacks McFlim-Flong.

- I'm sure they have

ice cream in Miami, Nate.

But if not, you'll just

have to come back and visit.

- I don't want to visit.

I want to live my whole

life as a Rackleffian.

I can't hit all the classic

Rackleffian milestones

in Miami.

- What if we go around

town and reenact all

your Rackleffian milestones?

Today!

- Oh, this will be fun.

You'll get to see

all of Rackleff.

- Oh, that's actually

not a bad idea.

To my rightful teen

years and beyond!

I want to live

as a Rackleffian

Even when I am an old man

Only the awesome

are built to withstand

The life cycle

of a Rackleffian

Now, what is next in the

life cycle of a Rackleffian?

You'd get BO, learn to drive,

grow hipster facial hair

Attend a local college,

visit a job fair

Be told you have

no prospects

So you work at Scoopsies

And return to college

later for a business degree

Get married, start a family

Go bald, grow a ponytail

- [screams]

Experience a midlife crisis

Spend a night in jail

Learn an obscure instrument

Like theremin or fife

Get booted from your

house by your fed-up wife

You'd start fresh and

purchase a rhinoceros farm

Accidentally leave

the gate open

And cause horrific harm

- Sorry!

- Develop a concerning rash

Grow convinced

that you are dying

Discover it was

just a jelly donut

And wish you were lying

Gross

- You'd get

a pilot's license

But on your first

and last descent

You'd crashed your plane

into PS 38's soft cement

You'd be buried next to

Rackleff founder Rutherford

Rackleff's cousin Todd

When local kids pass

by your tombstone

They'd smile and nod

[together]

And say

all: I want to live

as a Rackleffian

Even when I am an old man

both: Or lady

all: Only the awesome are

built to withstand

The life cycle

of a Rackleffian

Ooh

- Yeah!

Ahh!

- Well, that was just--

sad.

And you like it here?

- Yeah.

No, I mean, obviously,

I don't like it here.

- OK, OK, guys,

testimonial time.

Say a few glowing words

about yours truly.

Talk about

all the ways I've made

your life immeasurably better.

- Nate Wright

was no brain trust.

But who cares?

I mean, my man was dope.

He was the number two prankster

at PS 38 rivaled only by moi.

What he lacked in finesse,

oh, he made up

for in property damage.

- Hit it, Dee Dee.

- If I must.

Nate came.

He saw.

He broke a bunch

of stuff, he died.

Who cares?

Because he's from Rackleff--

not somewhere cool,

like New York.

The end.

Francis?

- Um, Nate was my best friend,

ever, like since kindergarten.

He pushed me outside

my comfort zone

and almost got me k*lled

on multiple occasions.

[nervous chuckle]

Yeah.

I'm done.

Anyone else?

- Nate Wright was a miscreant!

A troublemaker!

He was a walking toadstool

with eyes that plagued me.

- Nate was a turd burrito.

- He was a scofflaw!

A numbskull.

A nincompoop.

- I didn't know the guy,

but I didn't like him.

- [gasps] I can't be

remembered like this!

- Hey, hey,

what's that you say?

Just two days

till moving day

- [giggles]

- Hey, Dad,

do we have any candy?

I want to put something

in these thank you cards

I'm making for my teachers.

- You leaving will

be gift enough.

- Oh, Ellen.

I'm sure that teachers

and students alike

will miss Nate's shenanigans.

- Yeah, well that's just it!

I don't want to be remembered

as a jerk miscreant

or as a turd burrito.

I want this whole

town to miss me.

I want to enhance

people's lives,

make Rackleff a better place.

[cackling]

Hey, your money's no good here.

Happy to help.

Who's next?

[baby cries]

Sit down.

Take a load off.

Parenthood is a full-time job.

I'm Nate Wright, by the way.

[chuckles]

Yeah!

[baby screams]

[swing clangs]

- Ohh! Ahh!

- Where have all

the good men gone

- [wailing]

Please enjoy this rendering

of me made out of bacon.

[together]

Ooh!

- [snickers]

- [screams]

- A monster!

Save the child!

- [screeches]

- I need a hero

I'm holding out for a hero

Till the end of the night

- Yeah!

- You're amazing!

[all clamoring]

[laughter]

- I'm so stoked

you get to see PS 38.

I can't believe

Nichols is letting

you sit in on my classes.

- And I can't believe you're

wearing beaded jewelry now.

- Oh, uh, my mom

gave me this bracelet.

It's so cheesy, right?

[glugging]

- Hey, hey, Ms. Godfrey,

I made this for you.

[cat meows]

- [grunts]

- Ahh!

- Uh-huh.

Well let me just hazard a

guess on this one, Mr. Man.

The feline

is rigged to explode.

- No!

No, no, no, no, no,

no, Ms. Godfrey.

You've taught me so much,

and I'm so grateful.

- [whimpering]

- Have I?

Have I really made an impact

on the most challenging

student of my career?

Has the summit of ignorance

known as Nate Wright

finally been scaled?

- Umyes?

- Why, I feel reborn.

I feel-- well, can it be-- joy!

Whoo-hoo!

Baby, come on.

- [grunts]

Hmm.

What exactly do you

think you're up to?

- Listen, I want

to apologize for how I've

treated you all these years.

It was immature.

I was jealous of your

superior brainpower.

And frankly, I wish that I

were half as smart as you.

- [mumbling]

Oh, my goodness!

Nate Wright is hugging me.

Don't just stand

there like an idiot.

You have to think of something.

But what?

Think, Gina.

Think, think, think!

[screaming]

Ugh!

- Oh, hey, Randy.

- What do you want, turdler?

- Ahh!

- I made you cookies

shaped like eyeballs.

- Eyeballs

are my favorite food.

- How--

how did you know?

- Look at me.

I listen.

I care about you, Randy.

I care about you so much.

- Gee.

If you're going

to be this nice to me,

then I have to be

nice to people, too--

but not now, obviously.

- Oh, well, namaste, Rad-sauce.

- [snickers]

- [humming]

[bathtub clangs]

- [screeches]

- Augh!

- [screeching]

- River Hudson the of out

pulled get this did-ly?

- [laughs]

Right?

Grossly so know I.

- I get it.

I totally get it now.

You're saying something

about the Hudson River.

Right?

- Can we focus on trying

to swallow this Salisbury

Seaweed, please?

Your cuckoo private language

thing is getting annoying.

- Sorry, Teddy.

We'll stop.

- Seriously?

Who even are you?

People used to get

so annoyed when

we talked "Amy-per,"

but Amy would

always tell them to shove it!

- Oh, yeah.

Yeah, shove it, Teddy.

Grade fourthly

in time that remember?

- [gasps]

[laughter]

- Ugh!

- [gasps]

- Ow.

[all cheering]

[all growling]

[both screeching]

- Ohh-ohh-ohh.

[burps]

- Whoa, Nate.

How'd you get all this pizza?

- Senor Chang gave

it to me as a thank you

for detailing his car.

People get so generous

when you're nice to them.

I mean, it's crazy.

- Oh!

- Wait!

[laughter]

- [groans]

How is it only Thursday?

I can't believe we have to

come back here tomorrow.

- How is it already Thursday?

I can't believe I've only

got one more day here.

You guys are coming

over today, right?

I don't want to miss

a minute with any of you.

- [giggles] Thanks again

for the puppy, Nate.

- Nate, this sweater

you knit me is so dope.

[all clamoring]

- Oh, thank you.

Thank you all.

Thank you so much.

Yeah, you know, I've

done so much in Rackleff.

I've really made my mark.

But the most important thing

about Rackleff is the people.

It's you guys.

[loud rumbling]

- Ahh!

- Is the ground moving?

- I'm going to miss you all

so much, even though I will

always live here forever--

in your hearts.

- Uh, the ground

is definitely moving.

- You know, you never

really leave a place.

You see it in--

- OK, Eva Peron.

- Thank you!

- Guys, um,

are we just going to ignore

what feels like an

unprecedented seismic event?

- You just feel it

right in your heart.

- [sighs]

Apparently so.

- [burps]

- Ahh!

- Your house is so cute.

It's like a crumbling rustic

cabin in a cable rom-com.

- [sighs]

OK.

What do we have here?

It's my dad's big

Miami contract.

- Is your dad going

to work as a proofreader?

Because that's not

how you spell "Miami."

- "62 Orchard Lane."

Rackleff?

You guys want to

take a road trip?

- Road trip!

[tires screeching]

- Don't road trips

normally involve a car?

- Oh, hey, the blueberry

farm is just down the road.

Let's go picking later.

- That's really a thing?

New Yorkers picking

blueberries at bodegas.

- [chuckle]

Yeah, ew.

What am I, some kind of farmer?

- I thought you

wanted to show Juni--

- Hey, look at that.

62 Orchard Lane.

We're here.

[lotion squelching]

- [mumbles]

- Oh.

[eerie music]

- Ahh!

- Are these root

vegetables wearing clothes?

- [gasps] Is this heaven?

- People pay $10 for a potato

because someone added eyes?

That's steep,

even by New York standards.

- Technically,

all potatoes have eyes.

- Uh, yeah, but they

don't all have 'staches!

both: Ahh!

- Welcome to My Yammy,

where we craft

fully biodegradable

low-maintenance companions

out of yams and other tubers.

Whoo!

[laughs]

Nailed it.

- Wha? Huh?

- Como?

- What's a tuber?

- Oh, man.

My boss explains it

better, but he ran off

to that emergency town

hall about how Rackleff's

fallin' into shambles.

He's really

into civic engagement.

- What does this place

have to do with my dad's

job in Miami, Florida?

- [laughs]

Not Florida, man.

It's a play on words.

"My Yammy."

Look at his little face.

You get it?

'Cause it's a yam, man.

- OK, OK, OK.

Are you telling me

my dad is working here?

In this building right

here, in Rackleff?

- Yeah,

sure am looking forward

to him helping me

lace up the corsets

on our Victorian Spuds line.

I got fat fingers.

It's genetical.

- Guys, do you know

what this means?

I'm not moving!

Ha-ha-ha!

[laughter]

My dad is just a fool!

I'm not actually moving.

Mwah! Mwah! Mwah! Mwah!

Mwah! Mwah!

[cash register dings]

- Whoa, you mashed,

you pay cash.

All right?

- I was lying on the grass

of Sunday morning

Of last week

Indulging

in my self-defeat

My mind was thugged

all laced and bugged

All twisted wrong and beat

- Oh, sorry, Nate.

I'm late for the

emergency town hall.

- Rackleff is the greatest

town in the world,

and I get to stay here!

Well, hello there, neighbor.

- [chittering]

That's new.

- Is that normal?

- [gasps]

[dramatic music]

[birds squawking]

- Yeah, no, definitely not.

[hammer pounding]

- Ew.

- You guys,

I'm getting freaked out.

- [gasps]

- What is happening

to Rackleff?

- Something seriously wack!

[siren wailing]

- OK, hurry home, kids.

It's not safe out here.

- Do you know

what's going on, Officer?

- There's a town hall going

on right now about it.

Some scientist is claiming

that someone in town

isn't acting like

themselves and is turning

Rackleff into Wackleff.

[laughs]

You get it, kids?

It's a cop joke.

I don't know.

I don't buy the

whole human behavior

has an effect on stuff.

My guess, it's lizard people.

Ahh!

- Nate, I hate to say this, but

I got to follow the science.

I think this is

happening because of you.

- No way.

I've been doing good, remember?

[gurgles]

- [groans]

- That's Francis's point, brah.

You're usually a major pain

in everyone's backside.

This week,

you're doing the opposite.

And look what's happening!

[tree thuds]

- That was not my fault.

- Don't worry, guys.

I've got this.

[tires squealing]

both: Ahh!

- Rainbow sweetheart

bracelet

- That was k*ller!

- Very impressive.

- Whoa, you lost your bracelet.

- Huh?

- Ha, can you believe her

mom bought her that thing?

Everyone knows that Amy hates

that hokey craft fair style.

- Um--

- Oh, you do?

[lightning cracks]

- Ahh!

- No.

Dee Dee, I love it.

I'm sorry I lied.

Junie,

you were right all along.

I have changed.

I like living in Rackleff,

and I don't want to pretend

I don't.

Because it's not fair

to my friends,

and it's not fair

to my girlfriend.

And you know what?

It's not fair to me.

I'm really sorry, you guys.

- It's OK.

I've been known

to act my way out

of a few awkward

situations myself.

- I like oat milk now.

That's change, right?

- Well, looks like we found

out who the inauthentic kid

destroying the town is.

k*ller confession, Amy.

Gotta go!

- Amy just made

a few bad choices.

You are pathological, Nate.

You're definitely the problem!

- I'm not the problem.

Bye!

- Get back here!

both: Ahh!

- Those guys worry too much.

- Good morning, Nate!

- Hey, Gene!

- Ahh!

- Looking snazzy.

- How's my favorite neighbor?

- Oh, not bad, Jerry.

Give my love to the kids.

- Ahh!

- Whoa!

- Ahh-ahh-ahh!

Hey, Teddy, Francis!

- Dude, your Mr. Nice Guy act

is tearing the town apart.

Knock it off!

- Shh!

I can't!

I want Rackleff to remember

me as a good person.

Not some giant

pain in the butt.

- Ow, my butt!

- But you are a giant

pain in the butt.

And if you keep

this up, there won't

be a Rackleff to remember you!

- [groans]

- So what you're saying is

to save the town and do good,

I have to go back to being--

- Not bad.

Just be yourself--

a chronic screw-up

with a superiority complex.

- With great power comes

great responsibility, brah.

It also comes with

a Fart Master 5000

if you want to borrow it.

- [laughs]

[fart sounds]

[metal clangs]

- Happy Friday, boys and girls.

Our town may be in shambles,

but today's lunch is soft meat

sandwiches, so that's fun.

Huh?

Ah!

Oh.

Hmm.

Who covered my chair

in marshmallow fluff?

- [snickers]

- Oh, hey, Rad-sauce.

I made you some more of

those eyeball cookies.

- All right, free food.

Ahh!

I'm going to end you, turdler.

[tires squealing]

- Ah, look at our beautiful

view, huh, kiddos?

[gasps]

Ahh!

Nate Wright!

You have detention--

for a month!

[uplifting music]



- Ahh!



- [chittering]

- Car's packed.

Ready to go, Nate?

- Oh yeah, about that.

Looks like we're

staying after all.

- Hmm.

- My-- Yammy?

[wails]

[retches]

I want to live

as a Rackleffian

Even when I am an old man

Only the awesome

are built to withstand

The life cycle

of a Rackleffian

Now, what is next in the

life cycle of a Rackleffian?

all: I want to live

as a Rackleffian

Even when I am an old man

both: Or lady

all: Only the awesome

are built to withstand

The life cycle

of a Rackleffian