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01x05 - An Iron Giant Appears!

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Keep Your Hands Off Eizouken!". Aired: January 6, 2020 – March 23, 2020.*
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First-year high schooler Midori Asakusa loves anime so much, she insists that "concept is everything" in animation.

01x05 - An Iron Giant Appears!

Post by bunniefuu »

Wh-What the heck is this?!

Tsubame, I'm a huge fan!

Hey! Thanks for your support.

I'm rooting for you!

Whoa Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Asakusa?!

I found a robot!

A robot?!

It was under a sheet, but the

shape was a giant robot.

I could tell where the head and shoulders were!

Something is definitely going on in this school!

Let's go! I wanna see it, too!

Mizusaki, it's a bad idea to just waltz in.

I don't see anything.

Huh It's gone.

Iron Giant Left Side

"Iron Giant—"

There's a bunch of robot books over here!

Science

Shibahama Industrial

Introduction to Robotics

Constructing Heavy Machinery

Wait.

Look at the floor. These are robot footprints!

Who are you two?!

Out the window we go!

Mizusaki's down

Mysterious pursuers, a missing robot

And Mizusaki, who has been captured!

I had thought this was going

to be giant robot sci-fi,

but now it's got the scent

of robot crime instead.

The left side of the iron giant

It's bigger than I thought!

It really is giant robot sci-fi!

Lost Shibahama Civilization

A unique brand of shamanism that developed into a peculiar scientific culture (maybe)

A robot

The exterior doesn't

lock the joints in

a particular position

Drive system pipes

"archaco technology" details the advanced ancient civilization that existed in Anadoro (present day Shibahama) which had a tradition of worshiping humanoid robots

Though not designed for combat,

its size and strength would

make it quite formidable.

It's defenses were

extremely weak.

The metal is the color

of brass.

A lost civilization existed

in ancient Shibahama! Maybe.

Ancient Anadoro writing

Joints

This is a kind of

pronunciation key

Shaky joints

are the fate

of all robots

with

exoskeletons!

Six fingers

Doesn't open

in the front

Inuit snow goggles

These are heels

Joints with exposed open

spaces on both sides make

it seem vaguely biological.

Do those mysterious footprints point

to the existence of a giant robot?!

Hydraulics

Hold the drawstring

What kind of robot would

make sense at a school?

Mysterious Footprints!!

\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h Does the Giant Robot Really Exist?

From the "Exploring Shibahama" Series

Slacks type

Human body type

Gaiter type

Mechanical type

Not the most practical

Beauty of form!

Kneecap armor

Imagining the rest

of the body based

on the footprint

isn't impossible,

but

Gaiter

Indicative

of a

particular

designer

Speculating on the torso

based on the legs.

The Asakusa Expedition Series:

When the form resembles a

living creature, it comes across

as kind of monstrous and scary

The mechanical-type's strengths are clear

from it's speed and horsepower. Uses weapons primarily

in battle, but also has a force field.

A bad fit for school!

"Speculating on the Whole Body

Based on the Footprint."

Trapezoid

aperture.

Sword

The slacks-type is a robot with a natural outline, and it's hard

to predict its capabilities.

It's kind of scary so I

wouldn't want it showing up

at school!

There's also cases where it will purge it's armor to reveal a more biological-looking core body.

Has lots of

jetpacks

Joints snap shut like a jaw.

The robot!

Something about how plain it looks

makes it more realistic, and scary.

Like, it'd barely be able to walk. It's so blocky!

And it's got an action camera for an eye!

Weapons development is behind schedule.

Kanamori?!

Would this really be able to k*ll them?

We're not bloodthirsty.

Suppression is good enough.

So

No weapons, then?

Mizusaki!

She's been brainwashed

I can't believe they got her!

It's now clear that 66%

of the Eizouken's members

are involved with this giant robot!

But wait the way things are going,

the two of them being bad

guys could be a red herring,

when in reality, I'm the real

bad guy! And I have amnesia!

It can sh**t a rocket from its arm.

Nice. Can you fire it?

No, not here. It'd be too dangerous.

Hey, it hit somebody!

Wait, Asakusa?

Aw, sh**t! Someone get a towel!

As usual, she has incredible timing.

What the heck is that thing?

This is Talos.

A giant model robot that's been passed

down through the robot club's history,

and although it's undergone modifications,

it dates back over 100 years!

The robot club's roots can be

traced back to the late 1800s,

before anyone knew what a "robot" was,

with a collection of individuals

who studied French culture,

and were fascinated with "The Future Eve."

With the dawn of the 1900s, Japan created

Asia's first robot, Gakutensoku,

which led to a shift in the

group's focus to giant robots.

And after basing their first model

on the robot from 1952's

The King and the Mockingbird,

it's continued to be modified

To this very day!

They've just been changing the head—

Don't!

What are you two doing here, anyway?

They're hiring us to make an

anime based on this robot.

Robot! Anime! Fun

Wait, what's the catch?

If nothing else, we'll be getting paid.

You're such a money-grubber!

Bam!

You accept money in order to

accept responsibility for a job!

Pay exists to ensure a

quality standard for labor.

If we're accepting money for this job,

it means we have an obligation

to deliver to a certain standard.

Which sounds more wholesome:

accepting money for something

and being responsible for it,

or not getting paid and not

caring how it turns out?

Yeah, but wouldn't not

having to worry about money

and just making anime be the best?

I was thinking that!

Absolutely not!

It's 3.5 meters in height,

weighs 4.7 tons, and can

move at up to 70 km/h

That's fast Wait, this thing can run?!

Nah, that ain't happening.

It's got no power source.

It says they want it to fight a giant monster.

I don't see how it can be all that giant.

I mean three meters is pretty big!

Building-sized giant monsters are unrealistic!

I dunno about buildings, but a

giraffe is taller than this thing.

If the monster is only three meters tall,

wouldn't a heavy machine g*n do the job?

sh**ting in the middle of

the city is too dangerous,

so they need the robot to take it down!

Wouldn't ramming it with a truck be easier?

It says that the monster has a heat attack.

Okay, now that is unrealistic!

Maybe a fire-breathing giraffe

I'd like to get a broad estimate on the budget,

No, it could be a rhino that threatens

to burn the whole city down.

so I can break down the time frame

and the work hours involved.

Like how the Asian bombardier beetle can

emit a gas that's over 100 degrees Celsius.

Seriously?

You'd need a machine g*n for sure.

Y'know, "massive frontal profile"

It'll also help with my analysis,

which is already under way,

is basically giant humanoid

robots in a nutshell.

and knowing exactly how much

more I need to figure out.

Having an opening in the front

would be like an exposed weakness,

so wouldn't it make more sense

for the hatch to be on the back?

These

girls

are

annoying!

Episode 5 An Iron Giant Appears!

Keep

Your

Hands

Off

Keep Your Hands Off Eizouken!

Keep Your Hands Off Eizouken!

Is this it?

Seems like it.

Man, it goes so far down!

This underground pit is supposed

to predate the school's construction.

Why, exactly?

They built it beforehand to make it easier

to maintain pipes and the like.

This is absolutely the kind of

place a creature would pop up!

Are you scared, Asakusa?

All right, let's start scouting the location

for our robot-versus-monster battle!

But I don't like being scared!

You're the one who wanted to

stage the battle down here.

And we're already stuck.

It's rusted shut.

I think I've got some oil

Scared

Well, it didn't open! Let's leave!

There's no such thing as

a door that doesn't open.

A door's whole job is opening.

So do your damn job!

Classic Kanamori! She can even get

inanimate objects to fall in line.

Considering this isn't live action,

is location scouting really necessary?

Experience makes a difference.

For the record, I'm not here

to play explorer with you two.

It helps stoke

the imagination.

Seems pretty haunted down here, huh?

Asakusa's Anti-Poltergeist Loadout

Hey, it's those shoes for kids

that light up when you walk!

We're looking for monsters,

not ghosts! Get serious!

Oh, I'm sorry! What else do

you have in that bag, Asakusa?

I'm not saying!

Would you two please focus on this?

We're going to have the spotlight

at the culture festival.

You didn't mention that!

The theme this year is robots, so the

robot club will be the big stars.

We're doing a promotional video for them,

which will be good for us, too.

That's a pretty big spotlight!

I'd settle for a desk lamp.

I've always preferred quiet places,

away from the lights.

I thought you were afraid of the dark.

If you want people to appreciate your work,

it needs to see the light of day.

Isn't that the exact opposite

of what we're doing right now?!

And for the record, dark places

don't bother me. Creepy ones do!

Those boards are gonna break!

Walk along the walls!

It'll be fine.

But they sound so dull. And soft.

They're rotten!

If there's a big hole underneath, we'll be dead!

It looks like there's more space up ahead.

Fantastic! This place is perfect!

You're taking pictures too, Mizusaki?

Of course I am!

There's background animation to consider,

and the setting influences the movement!

Like that beam that looks

like it could collapse!

What exactly are you doing?

Picturing the in-frame imagery, I bet.

That looks an awful lot like screwing around.

Well, it kind of is.

We're making something fun.

It's better to get out in the world

than stare at a blank sheet of paper.

Locations like this feed your imagination.

The things you experience

personally lead to originality.

Do you follow?

Over your fear of the dark now?

I forgot until you reminded me.

Asakusa!

Come here for a sec!

Whatcha want?

I want the monster to blast out of here!

From water?

Yeah.

From out of the mist it appears

A giant p*stol crabtle!

Is that the right size?

It's a giant monster with

an arm like a p*stol shrimp,

A Turtle x Crab

Monster That Has

the Claw of a

p*stol Shrimp!

Weight:

Height:

Length:

Has no tail

p*stol Crabtle:

Combines Crab and

"tle" from turtle"

The shell's thickness can change

over time. Used defensively,

but also helps with thermoregulation.

Crab liver

Crab intestines

Crab stomach

The crabtle has two arms and four legs.

These legs are supporting a body

that weighs over six tons.

Crab vision:

Not particularly

good or bad

Legs are covered in scales

that resembles both a crab and a turtle.

By locking its open claw, flexing,

and then releasing the lock,

Bam!

This part is flexible

Locks it's open claw, builds up it's strength,

and releases the lock to slam it shut,

causing a shockwave.

Can defeat an African elephant in an instant.

Is more dangerous in the water.

the claws snap shut with a ton of force,

causing a powerful shock wave!

It likes to eat Japanese alders

that grow in wetlands.

Likes to eat Japanese alders that grow in wetlands

What it looks like when eating

Closes with over one ton of force,

but its opening strength isn't remarkable. Like a crocodile's jaws.

Omnivorous; will eat wood,

aquatic plants, and algae.

Here it's eating water

chestnuts. Will not eat

them when they are

still covered in spines.

They're generally pretty docile,

and in the old days,

Their relatively docile nature meant

that, in the old days, people who

lived in the wetlands used them

for trade and land development.

they helped the people of the wetlands

with trade and land development!

That sounds more like livestock.

It's endearing, though.

Couldn't you turn it into roast crab

with a flamethrower, even without a robot?

You're going to set the robot club off again.

Asakusa, sometimes your focus on

realism can be pretty harsh on fiction.

Facing it will be our robot!

What should its weapon be?

How about fighting with a chainsaw?

Do you know how much work

those teeth are to draw?!

You can't tell them apart when

it's spinning, so it's fine.

The handle!

A recoil starter!

The p*stol crab's special attack

is the massive shock wave

generated when it unlocks

its claw after flexing!

That's kind of like a forehead flick.

So the robot digs into the

ground with the chainsaw

And uses it to move faster!

That's really intense! It seems super strong!

Let's head back!

You're just scared, aren't you?!

Asakusa—

Hang on, don't push!

We fell!

I noticed.

This is why I said to walk along the walls!

We're lucky these leaves were here.

And it's nice and warm.

Let's calm down and call for―

No reception.

This place was used to dump leaves.

And it's warm because the

leaves are fermenting!

Which means there's gas everywhere

If we stay here for too long, we'll die!

Dead

At times like this

You take out your rope,

take a sock off,

put your Swiss army knife in the sock,

tie it to the rope, and throw it!

Take out your collapsible shovel,

pile up the leaves and dirt in one spot,

to get some height

And escape!

Holy cow.

That's just who she is.

Now that we've got our

suggestions for the setting,

it's time for a meeting with the robot club.

Did you get a haircut, Kanamori?

I did.

Girls, this is our first paid job!

We'll need game faces on in there!

I didn't know you could be so motivational.

She's awkward in conversations,

so she tries to sound quirky

as an emotional defense.

Are you trying to make me more defensive?!

The deal is basically done already,

so the presentation should

be a piece of cake.

We won't try to sell them

on our own suggestions,

but instead, choose one of

their suggestions to work on,

all while nudging things in

the direction we want to take.

Do you think they'll get mad again?

It's not an actual disagreement,

so as long as they think they're in charge,

it'll be a pretty smooth process.

But for the worst case scenario

It wouldn't hurt to have an advantage.

I'll put my feelers out for blackmail bait.

The eizouken is bad news!

They're nothing but trouble!

I heard them mention that nonsense

about frontal profiles myself!

There goes Ono, again.

Those girls don't even enjoy fictional robots!

The entire reason we wanted this anime made

was to secure funding for our new giant robot!

Yeah, but—

And who are we partnered with?!

The kind of plebs that would make an

anime about a robot losing to a tank!

Even though the entire point of giant

robots is that they're a fantasy!

Here! This is the plan I've put together

to keep the eizouken under control!

When did you have time to make this?

Take Down the Eizouken

We need to think seriously

about one thing!

Our love for robots, which the

eizouken could never understand!

And the beauty of that love, and our ideology!

At this rate, we're going to be

responsible for a reprehensible anime,

with the eizouken cooking up

something full of homing lasers

Excuse us

Excuse us!

No response.

and sudden power ups, instead of realism!

He is being loud.

Ono

Wait, Ono!

Before you said the whole appeal

of giant robots is the fantasy!

Excuse us.

We're here.

Take Down the Eizouken

Before that unrealistic nonsense gets made,

Take Down the Eizouken

we need to find some advantage

over the eizouken!

Well, our client certainly

doesn't seem to trust us.

Forgive me

Such a lack of faith.

There have been times when this sort of

thing could get you ex*cuted, you know?

Take Down the Eizouken

I think I'll make a record

of this, for future use.

Take Down the Eizouken

Take Down the Eizouken

Kanamori is really good at negotiating.

I don't know if that's what I'd call it.

Your tea.

We've got our documents right here.

Right

Asakusa, you can show them the actual proposal.

Oh, right.

The idea is for it to take place on

the Shibahama High School campus.

All right

Next are the details on the giant monster.

A Turtle x Crab

Monster That Has

the Claw of a

p*stol Shrimp!

Weight:

Height:

Length:

Has no tail

p*stol Crabtle:

Combines Crab and

"tle" from turtle"

The shell's thickness can change over time. Is used defensively, but also helps with thermoregulation.

Crab liver

Crab intestines

Crab stomach

The crabtle has two arms

and four legs. These legs

are supporting a body

that weighs over six tons.

Crab vision:

Not particularly

good or bad

Legs are covered in scales

View from above

Is that a turtle?

I-It's a crabtle.

From combining crab and turtle crabtle.

It can generate shock waves with

its claws, and has a heat attack.

Underwater, it can create

cavitation by closing its claws,

which results in sonoluminescence,

the plasma from which reaches

a temperature of 5000 degrees Kelvin

And a pressure of 1000 millibars.

W-Whoa, isn't that a little extreme?

It's an ability taken from p*stol shrimps,

which live in the Atlantic Ocean.

Since it's 507.3 times the size,

its abilities increase proportionately.

The robot sticks the chainsaw on its right arm

into the ground in order to move at high speeds.

This is great, Ono.

Doesn't sound like there are

any last minute power-ups,

but it's just fantastical enough that—

This is all wrong!

It can't have a flashy weapon like a chainsaw!

And it sounds like there's too much action!

I thought the robot club's goal was

preaching the merits of down-to-earth,

real robot aesthetics!

But real robots are more like

Not what I meant!

The big ones! That people pilot!

Then

Not that, either!

It has to be humanoid and piloted by someone!

And it fights!

Seeing someone stump for such a

typical contradiction is disheartening.

It needs to be realistic! Like in

real life! A real-life giant robot!

Realistically speaking, I thought it

was generally accepted that humanoid robots

exceeding a certain size

have really limited uses.

It's true that human-scale

ones could do more jobs.

They'd be more versatile, I guess.

It's frustrating, really.

Even when tanks stop being useful,

it won't mean bipedal robots being deployed.

They'll probably just make stronger tanks.

Yeah, realistically speaking,

they'd probably evacuate the town

Glass

Bottles

Fragile

and then bring out the tanks.

People who want to make robots

because of anime run into that fact

sooner or later

But what we're after has always been

the machines we've admired in movies,

manga, light novels, and anime.

Take Down the Eizouken

So it's reality that doesn't

care about humanoid robots.

Come to think of it, there are

fewer giant robot anime lately

Should I have not brought that up?

Yep.

I get it.

I know it's actually impossible!

I realize that it's probably impossible.

But I still want to pilot a robot, okay?!

So much I could die! Damn it!

"Anything one man can imagine,

another man can make real"?!

Screw whoever said that!

Even if it's possible, if it

doesn't happen during my lifetime,

then that Wells guy sold me a bill of goods!

What a huge

pain in the neck.

I can see it right now when I close my eyes

I wish I had blackmail material to speed this negotiation along.

And when I try to think about it

realistically, it becomes contradictory!

Take Down the Eizouken

I hate how it puts me in this place

where all I can do is dream!

I hate it so damn much!

I see now.

He's not making sense because he

can't visualize the finished product.

That makes him so anxious,

all he can manage is a passionate

plea full of incoherent ranting.

If we present a calm response,

it should calm him down

and make controlling them—

I wanna travel to the fringes of space!

I cry in the bath every night

about how big the universe is!

I try to do a Hadoken every night before bed!

You two are crying now?

I like to imagine I'm in a c*ck

when I'm on the toilet

Comrade!

Sudden harmony

I have huge problems with people who

solve problems with emotional appeals.

All right, let's modify this robot together!

You mentioned having the hatch

in the front would be a weakness,

and moving it to the back would help, right?

In the name of high adventure,

we're going to keep it in the front,

like your actual model Talos.

Plus

You can do a shot reverse shot

with the pilot and robot.

Like this

Which makes for a really cool

depiction of two pilots talking!

I'm not so sure.

I think having it open up

in front seems weaker, too.

But the back of a robot

has to look cool, too!

Okay, then.

In that case, we'll ditch the

rule of cool on the hatch,

and go for a safer choice.

She's got a tendency to only enjoy working

when there's some odd line

of reasoning into it.

Right here.

Let's make the entrance on the top.

That works.

Next up is the c*ck.

It's not a c*ck unless

it looks like this!

Analog-style instruments.

CRT monitors have good response time.

The main monitor seems to have

a pretty wide range of vision.

Is the camera in the mono-eye

really going to cut it?

Should we add more?

Cameras?

Let's change it.

Let's change the model and add some.

We'll add more, and different, cameras!

Copy that.

The kind of cameras and sensors that

robots use are usually along these lines.

So if we combine them

Cool!

Lame!

Okay, how about something like this?

Ta-dah!

It's got kind of a classic vibe.

Time to activate!

Are all these switches

actually helpful as controls?

It shows that the people making robot anime

ultimately put their faith in people!

I'm disengaging the break!

Starboard clear!

Port side clear!

All clear below!

We're rising up! Please brace yourselves!

Wasn't it standing already?

Time to go for it!

All at once?!

Oh man, I forgot seat belts!

Those are important!

We'll partially engage the clutch,

and then make our way up!

That's a lot of Gs!

Time to straighten up!

It It stood!

I want a pile bunker!

Okay!

It'd be a good idea to change

the body to match the face!

A hydraulic cutter! Snip!

We've come this far, let's go harder!

How about a drill?

A boom-mounted cutting head!

Is it a hole-digging robot now?!

This one, then!

Those bits are for wood!

Ah, you noticed.

You realize the robot club is a

technical club, right? Of course I did!

At least use one for metal!

It's already got a chainsaw!

We're gonna need more arms.

Can you even animate something

with all these add-ons?

Why not just remove the legs and make it fly?

That'd take the fun out of making it move!

But is it okay if we cover up the joints?

It's done!

Holy cow!

It looks totally different.

Isn't it kinda elaborate?

Are you sure you can animate this thing?

We ended up with a blue-collar robot!

But what'll happen next?!

Fluffy~

Gahaha!