02x05 - Episode 5

[bunniefuu]

[ALARM BEEPING]

[MICROWAVE BEEPING]

Oh, thank you, my babe.

Eh, you're better
than home help, you are.

I don't like it, I just say I like to
change my mind now and again.

[VACUUM WHIRRING]

Beth.

-Beth.
-Sorry?

I said, "How is your mother
doing now?"

Do I need to do
anything for tomorrow?

No. It's all in hand.

Someone from the shelter
is coming to collect
her at eight o'clock.

Long before visiting hours.
So we should avoid
any crossover with your dad.

When will I be able to see her
after they take her?

When she's settled in.
They can arrange
for visits in neutral spaces,

coffee shops, stuff like that.

Thank you.

What do you pack for a woman
who's never coming home again?

[DOOR OPENS]

[DOOR CLOSES]

DILWYN: Beth?

What?

We need to get her out of there.
It's messing with her head now.

She's sectioned,
we can't just take her out.

She's my wife.
I'll do what I f*cking want.

She'll be out soon,
as soon as they level her meds.

Have they said
anything else to you?

No.
This is normal.

You wouldn't know that,
though, would you?

Oh, f*ck off.

[DOOR SLAMS]

BETHAN: I've had a look
and it wouldn't even cost
that much to change your flight.

You could stay for another week.
And come to the party
the last day of school.

Please. I really want you there.

[GROANS]
Nah. My exams are done.
I'm just...

finished.
It's time to go.

Yeah, your...
Your exams are finished.
Mine aren't.

Just view it as a service.
You'll be staying
to give me moral support.

Please.

But why?

You can't just leave tomorrow.
It's crazy.

You're ditching having
another week together?

I can't, Beth.

This is too hard.

It's hurting too much.

I know.
Me, too.

-But isn't it better than
not seeing each other?
-No, like...

Being with you every day
but knowing it's ending
is k*lling me.

But it doesn't need to end.

Okay? I'm going to come
to France eventually.

Maybe in a...

Maybe in a year, maybe less,
maybe six months.

Just until my mum's on her feet.

Hm?

Is that really what you want?

'Cause it's my dream,
but is it yours?

I don't even know
what your dream is.
We haven't talked about it.

I love you.

That's not a dream.

What do you want?

Without your mum, me,
all the noise, like,
what do you want?

See, you don't know.

That's the problem.

You spent so long
living for other people
and just...

pretending to be something
you're not, you don't even know
what you want.

[INHALES DEEPLY]

I love you so much, Beth.

-I always will.
-[SNIFFLES]

You'll always be
my first love and...

I'm always going to
want to see you.

[SNIFFLES]

I know how you are,
but I don't think
you should follow me.

Why are you saying this?

I don't understand.

I want good things for you.

Okay.

f*ck you, then.

I'm just gonna go out.

Don't need to have something
of me anymore, do you?

You know it's true.

Please don't do this.

-Can I get past.
-Please don't go. Please.

Will you just stay with me?

♪♪ If I were to tell you

♪♪ The faces I put on

♪♪ The grins and sins
and innocence

♪♪ Would you run with me?

♪♪ I left you crying
at the table

♪♪ Alone, but not for long

f*ck you.

Come.

For everything.

♪♪ I'll be hanging with
my head down

♪♪ The same old dirty tricks

♪♪ I keep on falling for you

♪♪ Falling into the undone

♪♪ While you get wasted

♪♪ On dry memories

I need to go.

♪♪ And I can't help
but let you be

♪♪ 'Cause you get wasted

♪♪ On dry memories

You don't have to hug me
like that.

I'm coming back to say goodbye.

I'll see you before you go.

Good luck.

Sending my love, okay?

Thank you.

♪♪ You're moving on ♪♪

-You got everything
from your room?
-Yeah.

Okay. It looks like
we're ready, then.

Can you keep this safe please?
It's got her passport
and stuff in it.

-Yeah.
-Thank you.

Ready?

Yeah.

-Am I allowed to call her later?
-Of course.
Often as you want.

-And don't forget,
I'll be waiting.
-Okay.

-Where you going to go now?
-I'll stay with Cam.

-Stop worrying.
-Oh.

Okay.

-Right, okay, go on.
I'll speak to you later.
-Yeah.

-You okay?
-Yeah.

[CAR DOOR CLOSES]

[ENGINE STARTS]

She's safe now.
They'll look after her.

Yeah.

[LINE RINGING]

Yeah, where are you?

CAM: I'm sorry I couldn't say
bye again, Beth.

[SOBBING]
I love you.
And you know that.

-[SNIFFLES]
-What's happened?

[SOBS] She's gone, Trav.

-She's gone.
-Aw, come here.
Come on.

Hey.

[SHUSHING]

It's okay.

I made you some stew.

You know how to make stew?

Yeah.

Can I stay here this week?

Just till we finish the exams.

Of course, you can.

Classic, like...

f*ck' last years words,
I can't believe it.

Loves you Lozza.
Never change, Bibs.

What are you
writing, Lyds?

Just what a massive
legend you are.

Well that means a lot.
Thank you.

Excuse me. Can I pass, please?

Oh, don't be so shady Pete.
Have you got a message for us?
Come on.

-What a colossal waste of ink.
-Oh, come on, Pete.

Yes, yes. Just the miscreants
I was after.

I've got a few choice words
for all three of you as it goes.

-You first.
-Are you gonna say
how much you love me?

Oh, you wish.

Grow...

up.

Hey, gutted.

That could've been so much
worse, by the way.
So much worse.

Trevor.
You're next, mate.
Come here.

All right, guys, let's do it.
Let's go in, come on.

Look what he doodled on mine.

-All best wishes for the future.
-Oh, God. "Best wishes."
That is so Peter.

Hey, Beth!

-Be honest now...
-What?

Did your dad
petrol b*mb a house?

-f*ck off. You ugly man turd.
-Suck my d*ck, baggy fanny.

Just get the hell away from us.

Her mum's in the mental hospital
I've known for ages,
I just didn't wanna say.

Did he?

What are you talking about,
Priest? Shut up.

It's true, innit?

Walter's dad works
with the police. He told him.

Ha! What a f*cking psycho!

f*cking Down syndrome
kid as well. Ha!

Oh, my God, man. That is low.

That's going viral, babe.
I'm going to put it on
social media now. Ha!

f*cking hell, man.

No, no listen to me.

You're head girl.

You're gonna be in this photo
with your head held high.

Ignore the lot of them.
Come on.

Um, three, two, one.

So now they know.

[ALARM BEEPING]

[PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING]

MAN: [ON TV]
Up to tricks, 46.

Beth, I've got your mother
on the phone.

MAN: [ON TV] Twenty-two.

Shelter gave me the sofa.

Good of them, really.

Yeah.

Get more bits
from the charity shop.

Matching.

I know it's not much,
but I wanted to
get you something, you know.

We can paint it as well.

Do you like it?

Yeah, I do.

What about bingo? Call a car?

They let you go up on stage.
You get to do
one of your poems.

No, I'm not doing a poem there.

Everything okay?

What's the matter?

I'm so unhappy, Mum.

That's not like you.

Something happened?

Something must have happened.

I can't.

I don't know,
I don't know what it is.

Every day...
I wake up and...

I feel like I can't breathe.

Like...

Like this... There's this weight
on my chest...

that's pressing down.

I better go.

Don't go in.

I've got to. I'm on tills.

You know how much
I wanted you, don't you?

I had four miscarriages.

And then Sophie was stillborn.

And I thought it was
never going to happen.

Then I got pregnant again.

I prayed every day.
Kept going to church

Got some rosary beads as well.
Not even bloody Catholic.

Dad was telling everyone
he was having a boy,
but I knew.

I could feel you.

Strong.

Stronger than me,
even then.

Came along right
on your due date.

Hmm.

I went into labour
at 3 AM and...

the sun rose...
just as you arrived.

And that's exactly
what it felt like.

Felt like the sun was
shining down on me
for the first time in my life.

I always wanted someone
that I could love.

Someone to call me own.

Then I had you.

Your dad weren't there.

Got pissed
and wound up scrapping
but I was glad.

'Cause it was just me and you.

[EXHALES]
I remember looking down
at your face...

Oh, your perfect little face.

And I, I remember promising you,
I'd always protect you.

That I would always
keep you safe.

And that you'd never
want for anything.

Well, I broke me promise.

-No, you didn't.
-I did.

Oh, don't get me wrong.
I tried.

God knows I tried.

b*stard bipolar.

b*stard men, huh.

I know how much you love me.

And I know...

I know you did
everything you could.

I think the world of you...
I'd do anything for you.

I know you would, love.

And you already have.

Now, I know I might have
broke my promise,

but I want you
to promise me something.

I want you to promise me
you'll get out of this sh*thole.

-No way, I'm not leaving you.
-Oh, come on!

I'll keep your room for you.
And you can visit me anytime.

And I'll visit you.

-No...
-There's phones...

No, I wouldn't be happy
without you anyway.

Oh, bollocks.
[SCOFFS]

Not happy now anyway, so?

What's the difference?

For once in your life,

I'm going to tell you
what to do.

I want you to get out of here.

And I want you to do it
for the both of us.

[SNIFFLES]

-I love you.
-I love you, too.

You're my girl!

MS MORGAN:
So what happened
with your dad in the end?

He got off.
Insufficient evidence...

Yeah.

Yeah, I know men like him.

-Do you?
-Oh, yeah. Crawling
with 'em 'round here.

Yeah. Not as bad
as him, though.

Yeah, no fair play.
Don't get much worse.

But, you know, I like to excel.

So, what can I do you for?

Erm...
I'm not really sure,
I don't know.

Just feel like I might have
messed things up a bit.

-Mm, you're a teenager,
it's what teenagers do.
-Just feel like a d*ck.

Like I had all these plans
and all this stuff
I wanted to do...

I dunno, I just...

Just feel like I'm stuck here.
No offense, like.

-Offense taken.
-You know, I just...

I just feel like I let
everyone down...

What do you think I should do?

I think you should
go to university.

Imagine me, I'd hate
all the people there.

If you think you won't find
a single person you like

in a uni full of thousands,
then your head's bigger
than I thought it was.

Yeah, there'll be posh twats
but just don't speak to them.

Find the Travises.

Yeah, but it's just,
it's so expensive.

And they keep regurgitating
the exact same lessons
and the exact same subjects.

And as such you're regurgitating
Cam, so...

Look, I'm not going to tell you
university's the be all
and end all, 'cause it's not.

But let's be real.
You're skint.

No parents to fall back on.
No connections, no nothing.

Jesus, miss.
Kick a dog when it's down.

What you've got is a big brain.

A gob on you that occasionally
has something interesting
to say and decent grades.

Yeah, Cam's right.
Uni isn't the Holy Grail. But...

They have student loans.

Probably some
Bursaries as well.

Basically, it'll give you
a way out. And fast,
if we go through Clearing.

Pick a subject, pick a city,
and we'll try and get you there.

Anywhere you've
always wanted to live?

London.

Okay, well, that's a start.

Here. This is what I wanted
to give you on results day.

Before you did
your disappearing act.

Whatever you do,
keep writing.

Thank you.

Welcome.

-It looks expensive.
-Yeah, it bloody was.
Look after it.

-Is that your bike?
-Yeah.

-It's nice.
-Ding-ding.

-Oh, my God, Blocker. Right?
-Yeah, you alright.

Me and J's just going for
a little bike ride.

See? Told you I got a life.

Listen, I was sorry to hear
about all that business
with your dad going a bit...

-coco-loco, and er...
-Thanks, miss.

Fancy coming along or...?

-I haven't got a bike.
-No, you do not. No.

Right.
J, you ready?

I'll lead this time. You nearly
k*lled us last week.

-Bye!
-Tata!

MRS BLOCKER: Scusi,
coming through.

-[BICYCLE BELL DINGS]
-MRS BLOCKER:
Get on the road...

-There she is, clever clogs.
-Hey!

NANA: And this is a little
something from me.

Aw, thank you.
I love it.

Oh, and this.

Bloody hell, Nan.
Do you expect me to sh*t myself
every day, are you?

-It's your IBS.
-Nan, shh!

They don't mind!

See you soon.
See you soon, take care.

Where the hell
have you been, Beth?

I cannot believe
that you've been coming here
every day without telling me!

We missed each other's
been hanging out.

But instead I've had
the worst and most boring
summer of my entire life.

-I am so sorry.
-Do you wanna know what I've
been doing without you here?

Sunday morning
cinema club with Peter.

Who's in the club?

-Just me and Peter.
-[BOTH LAUGH]

f*ck, that is bad!

Do you not trust me?

'Course I do.
More than anyone.

Then why didn't you tell me?

Just wanted a different life.

I blame myself.

I knew things weren't right,
but I also knew that...

-you didn't wanna talk about it.
-No, Trav.

You're the best boy,
you do know that, don't you?

It's true.

If I ever have a son,
I want him to be just like you.

I mean that.

I'm leaving tomorrow.

Me, too.

-Where?
-Goldsmith's, to do English
with creative writing.

Ms Morgan helped me
get in on Clearing.

Oh, thank Christ
on a bike for that.

Because I can't ever
look at you in that
bingo uniform again, babe.

-I'm sorry, but--
-I thought it looked good!

You know who we got
to go see, don't you?

Hey, er...

Lydia's got a job
at her dad's company.
Haven't you?

Hm? What do you sell, again?
You...

[EXHALES]

Stairlifts.

-That's amazing.
-Hm.

Yeah, it is actually.
You can make
loads of money doing it so...

I know! That's really cool.
I'm not taking the piss.

-This is our first
official legal drink.
-Yeah.

Iechyd da, girls, eh?

-[GLASSES CLINK]
-Cheers!

I prefer the park.

Yeah, well, when you've
thrown up somewhere that much,

I suppose you do grow
a soft spot for it.

Do you think you're funny?

-Lyd...
-[SCOFFS]

Lydia...
I love you.

-No, you don't.
-I do!

No, because if you did,
you wouldn't have been
lying to me.

Be honest now.
Do you even have a conservatory?

[SCOFFS]
Un-f*cking-believable!

Thank you.

Do you remember
when Lorraine Chapman
stuck one of these up her fanny?

[ALL LAUGHING]

She definitely went to hospital.

No way did her mother scoop that out.

Oh, my God. Do you think
she's gonna give birth
to, like, chipolatas?

Twin chipolatas.

Eww, now I'm thinking
of her fanny...

♪♪ I will say it again

♪♪ ' Cause there's beauty
in repetition

♪♪ And there's a beautiful end

♪♪ But my mind
makes that decision

♪♪ And there's a girl in...

See you at Christmas.

Yeah. Let's do drinks
on Christmas Eve, is it?

Yeah.

Yeah, I'll check my diary.

[TRAVIS CHUCKLES]

-Well, see you laters. Munters!
-Tata!

-Bye!
-Make sure you ring me
this time, okay?

I will.

LYDIA: Oh!

Eh, eh, eh...

That's our girl! [LAUGHS]

-Love you, bye!
-TRAVIS: Bye!

-Good luck, Trav.
-Good luck, babe.

♪♪ Like a woman
Oooh, oooh

♪♪ It's a little bit of power ♪♪

[KEYS JINGLING]

BETHAN: Can't put it off
any longer.

Hiya.

DILWYN: All right?

Yeah, I'm just going
to go and gather those bits.

Er, yeah, yeah.
Everything's in your room.
I haven't touched nothing.

[ZIP CLOSING]

We got something here for you.

-Is that a laptop?
-Yeah.

I thought you might need one.

Oh, my God.

Thank you.

You all ready then?

Yeah, my bus
is leaving soon, actually.

-How's your mother doing?
-She's fine.

Do you know where she's living?

No. No one's allowed to know.

I... better go.

You need anything,
money or whatever?

Just call me, I'll do my best.

Thanks.

Right. Well, erm...

Keep in touch.

Yeah, I will.
Ta.

BETHAN: I will never be
in a room with that b*stard
again as long as I live.

[PIANO MUSIC PLAYING]

Hiya.

Tryna think of a joke,
but I can't.

Well, that's a first.

Now remember
what you promised me.

This is your time now.

Yeah.

-Okay.
-[BOTH SOBBING]

-Bye.
-Love you.

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

My name is Bethan Gwyndaf.

My mum is mentally ill
and my dad is
an a*usive alcoholic.

I've seen things
I shouldn't have seen.

I've known fear, deep fear
that's sunk into my bones.

And I've felt shame.

But I've also felt
such incredible love.

I've been wrapped up
and saved by people's
kindness and friendship.

By a mum who did everything
she possibly could
to give me a good life.

And now today, I feel proud.

I am so proud of myself.