01x01 - Meet the Nourys

[bunniefuu]

[soft dramatic music]

[Jane] I hope everyone could

have the experience that I've

had with my family.

I, uh God, I can't even

imagine what it would be like

without them.

My life would have ended up

in a much different direction

if I didn't have them.

It is my safe place. It is my

home,

and where I feel the

most comfortable.

I hope for a world where

being yourself is instantly

acceptable.

[music playing]

So this is my room.

Mirror. Gotta check.

I need to get my hair cut.

I have so many split ends.

Disgusting!

You see Youtubers doing this

crap.

That's not a good angle.

Okay, bye.

My name is Jane.

I'm a senior in high school.

My family is crazy, and loud,

and obnoxious, but

We're a family and at the end

of the day we're always gonna

be there for each other

no matter what.

- Good morning.

- Morning.

[Laura] I was a vegetarian,

please.

[David] That's what warned us

to Jane's girlfriends.

They're vegetarians and she

makes likes soups and stuff,

and I'm like, that's, that's,

that's chicken stock.

She's vegetarian. She's

like "Ah, she'll never know."

[Laura] They won't know they

are on day one again.

[David] You're sinister.

[Jane] My mom's name is Laura

and she is very loyal.

And she's always being

annoying, and over-stepping

sometimes, but it's only

because she cares.

Thank you for the eggs mom.

[Laura] You're welcome. Thank

you for cleaning the dishes.

Okay.

She's a mama bear. That's how

she describes it, but

I wish everyone had a Laura

in their life.

[David] That's it. She will

not move now.

[laughter]

[Laura] That's really pretty,

girl.

[Jane] My dad, David

He is honestly the best dad I

could ask for.

He is very funny and

embarrassing.

Is that you, dada?

[David] Yeah, hi honey.

[Jane] Are you pooping?

[David] It's really bad in here.

[Jane] Oh.

Hey

[Mae] Ugh!

[laughter]

[Jane] And Mae

She's the smartest one out of

all of us.

She has her moments where we're

just laughing so hard

that we can't even control it.

- That's gross

- Ow, f*ck, Mae!

We put lash adhesive on

our lips.

I'm Debby Ryan now.

[Mae] Ew it looks like I got

stung by a bee.

[laughter]

[Jane] Emma, let me see yours.

Emma, she's my other sister.

She's the oldest.

And what can I

say about her

She's a b*tch!

No, I'm kidding.

Am I gonna be famous?

[Jane & Mae] No.

[laughter]

She's in the Coast Guard

Academy.

Coast Guard Cutter Yeagan,

this is Coast Guard Cutter

Hamilton, over.

[Jane] She comes home

sometimes on weekends.

She's very much my like my dad

and my mom if they were like

mixed together.

She's very overprotective. She's

a very positive person

to be around.

[indistinct]

[Emma] You're overevaluating

food.

You're like this

"So, how is it?"

[Mae] You know what he does?

You know what he does?

He eats something and he sits

there like this

Yeah, why do you do

that? He does do that!

But then we're like "What

are you doing?"

And then he's like "I'm

feeling the food."

"I'm knowing the food."

[Jane] My grandfather, his

name is Gabriel.

Hi!

[Gabriel] Hi, honey.

- You want a new one?

- Yeah.

[Jane] We call him Jidu

because in Arabic

Jidu means grandfather or

grandpa.

[Gabriel] You sleep good?

[Jane] Yeah.

He just loves everything about

our family. He's so funny.

[Gabriel] I was a mason. I

became head of my lodge,

which became the master, the

master of the lodge.

They used to refer to me as

worshipful master.

My wife would tell me,

"Worshipful master, take the

garbage out."

I was born in Brooklyn. In

Methodist Hospital.

February 9th, 1929.

It's funny, before I married

my wife I wanted to buy

a Cadillac convertible. It was

between getting married or

buying a Cadillac. I got

married instead.

Best thing I ever did, because

she was a wonderful, wonderful

person.

I adopted my daughter Laura.

She was one week old.

And that's who I'm living here

with.

You couldn't ask for a better

daughter than Laura.

I think you're ahead of me by

one.

They take care of me like you

wouldn't believe.

I want to live long enough to

see my grandchildren grow.

Because I really am enjoying

them.

Bye, Jidu.

Bye.

I have about six more months

left before

my whole life is gonna

change.

I don't really talk about it

that much, but

like it's not a secret

that I'm trans.

And I don't really think it's

gonna be a secret

when I get my surgery.

So might as well be honest.

Going to school.

This guy has been

hitting me up.

I don't think he knows that

I'm trans.

As a transgender woman, in my

opinion,

for my own safety I tell them

before I go out with them.

Like three years ago I never

talked to anybody.

And I was like 15. I'm 18 now.

And I was like, so shy.

And I was like

I always felt like no one was

ever gonna love me

because of it.

Or no one would ever want to

even talk to me, not just love.

But like no one would ever

even want to like consider me.

It made me cry because I can't

really control that.

Like, it's how I was born, and

like, it's not the only thing

that's like that's not the

only thing that defines me.

But like, I'm not gonna lie

about it to someone.

Because like, that's just lying

to myself too.

But I don't know. Like, I'm not

worried about that.

I just like I don't It's just not the right time

for me I don't think.

My life's kinda normal. I go to

work, go to school. That's it.

[Jane] Into hell we go.

[Faith] Oh.

Look cute today.

[Lucy] Video me, but

not too close.

[Faith] I look like a circle.

- Wait put this forward

- First of all

- No, like come over here

- Wavy hair.

[Jane] Aim it at her.

Move the chair. Move the chair

up.

And then [inaudible]

Instead of going to my

district high school,

I went into a trade school. It

was just a relief to be able to

start over. And not have to

worry about people seeing me

change and make comments on it

and stuff.

So I just wanted a new slate,

and introduce myself as Jane

to my peers and everyone.

So yeah, I'm in my senior year

of high school now.

I do cinematography. We film

here.

Me and my friends are all

excited to just be, done.

We want to get out of here,

get into college and just

move onto something else.

We're tired of being in Sparta

and Sussex.

I'm gonna apply to SVA soon

and SVA is the School of

Visual Arts.

And it's based in Manhattan,

but they have schools all

around the world. Hopefully I

get in there.

So that's gonna be exciting.

And action.

How do you feel right now?

[Faith] About what?

Like about what?

[Jane] Like about everything?

I feel I don't know what

you're like, referring to.

Okay, what do you think

about me modeling?

I think it's a great

opportunity.

Why do you have to

talk like that?

Because I think it's a

magnificent opportunity for her

to do this.

Alright, restart.

Faith, why do you?

I think you can do

whatever you put your mind to.

- That's what I think.

- Alright

Are you h*m*?

I'm heterophobic.

I didn't talk to you

freshman year.

Yeah, you really didn't.

Because I was intimidated by

you.

I was like, "Her films are so

good and mine

are not that good."

[Jane] Films in general have

always interested me

and I was always trying to

be artistic in a way.

And this was always a way for

me to escape my reality

when I was younger, cause even

though I didn't know

I was trans, like I didn't

like my life at the time,

because I didn't know who I

was.

I was struggling a lot and I

think film was a way

to escape that.

[Faith] Jane wasn't very open

to us, me and Lucy

for a little while, but um

like we weren't gonna ask

or anything

- Like that wasn't our business.

- About being trans?

Yeah, like, that's not

my business and I didn't care.

When was it? Sophmore year,

Junior year? I don't know.

Get out of my way!

Earthquake.

[Jane] Are you excited to go

prom shopping?

You have to bring your

camera to that!

[Jane] Yeah, I am.

What are you looking for for a

prom dress?

Something that's gonna

wow all the b*tches

in Sussex county.

[music playing]

That's my mom.

Hi, the world. What

are we doing today, Jane?

We're gonna go prom

dress shopping.

So, who are you going with?

There's no boy in the

picture.

I'm just, I didn't ask

if there was a boy.

You don't need a boy

to go to the prom.

I know. I'm just gonna

be going alone I guess.

Hanging out, having

fun, dancing.

[Laura] Pretty dresses.

Look at all the choices.

How do I zoom out?

What do you think?

[Salesperson] This is very

good material.

[Laura] You'll be a bride.

[Jane] Oh God!

Before, I never talked about

being trans with my friends.

Because I was so uncomfortable

with my body parts

and people knowing about that.

[Laura] What do you think

about that one?

[Jane] It makes my butt look

good.

Like if someone asked me if I

was trans I would be honest

but it just didn't make me

feel like a woman.

[Laura] Yeah, I

don't like that.

[Jane] And I hated

feeling that.

[Laura] That's a no from mom.

[Jane] I think I've learned

that it doesn't make me

less of a woman

for people to want to know

about my journey and

what I've been through.

I've had so many issues with

my body

and I'm just so tired of

hating it that I really

just wanted to choose to love

myself and be happy.

And not have anything hold me

back from that.

[Laura] Wow.

[Lucy] So, yes to the dress?

Is ten a lot? I'll do

eight.

[coffee dripping]

[Laura] People would say when

Jane first came out.

They would say to me. "Laura

you're like, such a cool mom."

I'm like, "Why am I cool mom?"

"Well you have a transgender

kid. That's so hip and cool."

I'm like what!?

I didn't know that, I didn't

know I was trendy, you know.

Thanks Jane. You know, but um

Like I don't know.

[David] The heck.

[Laura] What?

[David] She got two detentions

because of being t*rd.

Did you know that?

No, why would I know that?

[David] Because we're her

parents.

[Laura] Why didn't you know

it?

[David] Well it was supposed

to channel through you to me.

[Laura] Oh, really?

I didn't get that memo.

[David] The gradudation is

scheduled for the 17th?

No.

- Surgery is the 17th?

- Yeah.

Oh, but the operation is, it's

the 17th?

[Laura] I don't think they

know about that.

Did you wanna talk about that

Jane?

[Jane] I don't care.

[Laura] So Jane is scheduled

to have her, um

How do you say it?

[Jane] Confirmation.

[Laura] Confirmation surgery.

On the 17th which is her high

school graduation date

so we're missing that.

So, a lot of stuff happening

at the Noury Household.

For the next couple of months.

[Jane] When I first came out I

told my mom I wanted

the surgery. Not everyone

who's trans has surgery. Like,

that's not a requirement when

you are trans. Like, you do not

have to go through a surgery

to feel "completed"

or to "complete" your journey.

So it's really up to you and

what you want and what you

feel is going to help you

minimize the dysphoria you have

with your body.

I know that this will make me

happy.

Today, like, a boy was asking

me, "I know you're transgender

but like, what did you look

like when you were a boy?"

I was like, "What do you mean

when I looked like a boy?"

I looked the exact same I guess,

I just had shorter hair

He's like, "Can I ask you a

personal question?"

"Didn't you have anything

done, cause like you're

transgender?"

I was like, "No I'm just a girl.

I didn't get anything done."

Being transgender does not

mean surgery.

That's a totally different,

like, conversation.

I don't want their first

question to be like,

"Oh, what's in your pants?"

Because it's just so personal.

That's what transitioning is.

It's whatever makes you feel

good about yourself

and what helps alleviate that

gender dysphoria and makes

you feel more the person that

you feel on the inside.

- It's scary.

- Very nervous.

And it was a long road getting

to this point you know?

Clearing her for surgery

but yeah, we're nervous.

[David] All the different

psychologists and therapists

that we've had to visit all

confirming that she needs this.

You know, for her to be happy

for the rest of her life.

- We support it but we're scared.

- Of course.

And it's an entire team

that you have to meet with

and uh, yeah, they scheduled

us, so

[David] And they have this

really graphic powerpoint

showing the process and look,

it's, it's

It's hard. It's hard to

It's not for everyone.

But they're showing all the

vaginas

and the room is silent and

Laura goes "Hey that's me!"

[laughter]

"I think I see me up there!"

[Laura] "What am I doing up

there?"

[laughter]

But it was like Emma, Jane, May,

me, David and we were all like

this looking at

all the vaginas.

[Jane] So embarassing.

[Laura] And you agreed David.

[laughter]

[Laura] Yeah, we're embarassing

wherever we go.

It's pretty funny.

A little piece

All of Jane's information

that I've been collecting

over.. Since she came out to us.

If anybody ever thinks that

this was an easy decision,

or that we were just like "Sure

Jane,

let's go, you know, have a sex

change. Whatever you want."

It wasn't like an overnight

decision.

It was years and years of

preparation.

Of legal papers.

Of therapy appointments.

There's one to give her

permission

Here it is. "This complies with

the student's ability to play a

sport of the affirmed sex. In

this case Jane would like to

play soccer."

Here's my girl, on the girl's

soccer team.

Living her truth and having a

great time at it.

[Jane] What about the modeling

thing? I'm really excited.

It's going to be so much fun.

Ready?

- Yeah.

- Okay.

[Faith] How do I do this? What

do I with my arms?

[Jane] Just move them.

I f*cking hate you.

[David] It's hard to believe

that this all just came from

just sort of, like, you

just sending a headshot

and then

[Laura] I know! Like the

pictures that she was putting

on Instagram were just so

beautiful.

I just felt that I wanted to try

to submit to modeling agencies

and see where it went.

She always says that like "Oh my

God you can be a

model. You should be a model."

I'm just in high school and,

you know

I had I've had no

experience so maybe?

[Laura] We're going to

California

- I know.

- for this competition.

[Laura] Are you prepared?

[Jane] Probably not, I still

have to get a bunch of stuff.

What even is it? Like,

what's going to happen?

So it's a modeling

competition for 20 girls

around the world. It's a

global model competition.

It's for transgender models, and

we're all gonna meet in L.A.

and compete to sign with the

Slay model agency.

[Laura] Gretel.

[David] You're my true mother,

and I remember succinctly

being nestled gently

inside your womb like a little

Bratwurst.

[Lucy] I remember last year's,

um, English class.

We were talking about like,

transgender people.

My teacher brought up

She was like,

"Uh so you guys, like, know this

girl Jane?"

I raised my hand and I was like

"Yeah she's my best friend."

[Jane] Everyone from my old

school I don't talk to them

at all. It's just so awkward.

Like we weren't really friends

anymore.

- We haven't been here

- I'm surprised it's still

- in so long.

- up it's so old.

[Jane] I remember this being

so loud.

[swing squeaking]

[Lucy] Yeah, you always got

the one that squeaked.

[Jane] I wish it was sunny.

It's so much prettier

when it's sunny here. And like

peaceful.

[Lucy] Oh, I miss the summer.

[Jane] Do you miss anything,

like, about the old me?

Like, do you miss him in any

type of way?

Or do you think that nothing

ever really changed?

No, I feel like you're the same

still.

Cause I know like some families

are like, "I miss my kid." Like,

"I miss having my son

or my daughter back." Like, "I

want them back."

When really like, they're still

them.

But they're just changing their

gender. Like, that's it.

They didn't change

anything about them.

Just their appearance.

Oh, I'm so cold.

I need to start walking. It's

freezing just sitting there.

[Lucy] What about you?

[Jane] What about me?

[Lucy] Do you miss anything?

[Jane] About me? No, I mean I

miss I just pity my old self.

Because, like, I was just so

sad. Like, you remember

I remember calling you

- Yeah, I remember.

- I called you at night.

[Jane] Like, almost every night

just crying to you.

- You were always there for me.

- Yeah, you're a lot happier now.

[Jane] Yeah, I was depressed.

Especially, like

Yeah, it's like, 7th grade. It

was like the worst year.

[Lucy] You definetly love

yourself better.

[Jane] 7th grade was the worst

year.

[Jane] I don't look at my old

name as like,

something that was so foreign to

me.

Like an alien, or like something

that never existed.

I don't pretend like I didn't

exist before.

Because I was once a child who

was growing up as a boy.

Like, from zero to fourteen I

was growing up as a male.

And that's all I knew.

Seeing my little sister and my

older sister, doing painting

their nails and doing make up

and talking about girl things.

Like, I wanted to be part of

it,

but I felt like I never could

because I was on the other side

of being a boy and I didn't know

how to

express my emotions and feel

feelings like that because

I had to learn to be a girl.

I had to learn to do feminine

things and put on make-up

and buy clothes, girl clothes. I

was used to buying boy clothes.

And not getting ready all the

time and doing my hair.

I wasn't used to that stuff.

Wait, let me see first.

No!

No.

Not good.

[giggling]

Mae!

[Mae] Ew! Why does he look

like that?

Jane's friend likes a boy and

said boy is talking to Jane.

And Jane is not helping her

situation.

Because she keeps snapping him

back.

Okay, but we're It's

nothing though.

But you're snapping your face.

- I snap everyone.

- Face means you want to talk

- to him. That's Snapchat logic.

- So, what should I send?

Your forehead!

Talk to the forehead.

[Mae] When you send you face and

you smile where you're like

[Jane] I'm not doing any of

that.

[Mae] Yes, you are!

[Jane] I'm just doing

[Mae] That's what you do!

Yeah, it makes your nose

smaller.

[Jane] I don't inhale.

I just do I just lift my

eyebrows up.

[Mae] That means, "I wanna talk

to you."

[Jane] This?

[Mae] When you don't want to

talk to somebody, you have to

look a little bit ugly. So

that they don't talk to you.

I'm helping you here, and what

do you do? Ignore my advice?

There's no Okay, I'm

done. I'm done. Nothing.

You should be telling

this to him. Not to me.

That'd be so

[mocking noises]

[playful screaming]

[David] Jane, honey, I love you

but you have a responsibility.

You gotta go to work, honey.

You only got ten minutes.

[Jane] I'm going. I'm going.

[David] You still gotta get

changed. It takes 10 minutes

to get over there.

[Jane] Alright.

[Mae] You have to go to work.

[Jane] I'm going to hit you.

Again.

[indistinct]

[Jane] Love you. Bye.

[Mae] You'll have a great time.

Go make some memories.

[Jane] Shut up!

You are a b*tch.

[music playing]

[Coworker] Oh, you do that?

[Jane] I do that. I just always

see people do that.

[music playing]

[Customer] When is this

modeling thing?

[Jane] Saturday, I go Saturday.

It's for a whole week. It

ends the

It starts the 8th and ends the

15th of February.

[Customer] Are you actually in

the show. You're competing?

[Jane] Yes. It's a competition

against 25 other girls.

Well, 24.

During her shifts, um,

she'll practice her walk. Um

I do, and then you yell

at me.

You're like, "Stop walking."

[Laura] You gonna let me win?

[Gabriel] Am I gonna let you

win? No.

You gotta earn it.

I like sports. I love sports.

That's what I watch on tv.

Baseball and football.

I'm a registered Republican.

This country was founded on

great principles,

and the Democrats don't follow

those great principles.

It's too bad.

But if a good Democrat came

along I'd vote for them.

I like I look at the person.

[Laura] Daddy, teach me the

moves in Arabic.

[speaks Turkish]

[Gabriel] That's Turkish, not

Arabic.

[Laura] We'll say it in Arabic.

What's that?

[speaks Arabic]

[Laura] That's sh*t, because

I've got nothing.

[speaking Arabic]

[Gabriel] I am very broad

minded. I am not a prejudiced

person either. I take you for

what you are.

Because that's the way I am. I

was brought up that way.

I have a lot to be thankful

for. I really do.

[Laura] I beat you.

[Gabriel] You beat me. She

beat me.

[Laura] Look in the camera and

say, "I beat you."

[Gabriel] Huh?

[Laura] Look into the camera

and say

She beat me, and I taught

her how to play this game.

You did not teach me!

But she's pretty good.

[ringing]

- Hey!

- Hey!

[Jane] How are you?

[Emma] I'm good, how are you?

I think I'm sick.

[Jane] Ew!

[Laura] How you doing, Em?

[Emma] I'm good. So let me ask

you a question.

I was looking at the website,

the Slay website, the other day.

This is like a competition,

right? If you win what happens?

[Jane] I'll be signed to an

agency

and I'll be able to get

jobs.

[Emma] Woooow!

[Jane] You're so dumb.

[Emma] If it's not meant to be,

it's not meant to be.

But I feel like it is.

[Emma] I go to the United

States Coast Guard Academy

in New London, Connecticut.

I try to go home to see my

family when I can.

[Laura] Everybody, when I say I

have a transgender daughter,

they say, "Oh the one in the

military, that Emma?"

[Emma] Yeah, like listen to

that.

I remember in high school I

was very protective over Jane.

Dealing with people not

being accepting.

And your crazy a*s sister,

being like, "I'll hurt you."

[Jane] In front of the whole

school.

[Emma] I didn't mean to. It

was an accident.

[Laura] What did you do?

[Jane] Freshman year, one day

we had an activity where we

came into this auditorium.

And my therapist, my personal

therapist, came onto the stage

and was basically educating

everyone about the LGB

community, but mostly about

trans wellness.

And you know, all I wanted was

just to be in the shadows

and not be put

in any spotlight.

They only did this whole

seminar and like this whole

assembly because I was being

bullied.

All these seats were filled up

with all of my classmates

and, you know, freshman,

sophmore, juniors, seniors.

Like all the Most of the

school was in here with me.

[music playing]

[Jane] Right when she started

saying, like, "Does anyone have

any questions?" Like, that's

when I started losing my breath.

Because I was just waiting for

someone to say something

and, you know, freshmen year I

didn't want to talk about it.

I didn't want to be vocal

about it. I just wanted to

be a girl and nothing else.

Like I didn't want to be a part

of any conversation yet.

I was only a year out, like I

was still so new to everything.

One of Emma's classmates, who

was also a senior, he was a boy,

said something along the lines

of, "I think it's wrong"

um, "to be trans."

And, um like I get shaky

and I'm like lightheaded

talking about it right now,

but

I don't even wanna cry

it's so stupid, but

[Emma] They started saying

that it was a sin for

transgender individuals to

transition into another gender.

And that's when I started

getting angry.

[music playing]

[Jane] But yeah, he was um, he

said my name and he said um

"I know Emma's sister is trans."

and, um you know he looked at me

and Emma and he was.. Which

is you know, he can have his

opinions, like I'm totally

fine what that. Like, I get it.

But, you know, it just felt very

targeted and it's such a big

space, it was just a lot of

pressure and I couldn't

defend myself 'cause

I was just so scared to

say anything and I didn't have a

voice back then.

So Emma was my voice in that

situation, so I was grateful

that I had her there, but um

You can have your own

beliefs. That's fine.

You know, believe, like, what

you wanna believe.

I'll believe what I wanna

believe.

But the minute you start making

nasty comments

about my family, then there's

like, a problem.

[whispered] Oh my God, I'm gonna

get emotional.

Like, it made me so angry.

Why is it a sin? Because

someone wants to be

happy, you know? I raised my

hand and looked at him

and I was like, "How dare

you!

How dare you say that."

How in any way does her

transition affect you?

It doesn't.

[Jane] I just could feel

everyone's eyes on me.

Right when he said my name and

it was just everything that I

didn't want, so I just felt

frozen, and I couldn't breathe

or move. You know, being only

like 15, I felt like I had to

just sit here and hold my

breath and

wait for it to be over.

A lot of pressure.

[Emma] I sat down and I kinda

like, needed to breathe,

so I kinda got up and left and

I left Jane there and I was

like, "You're gonna be fine."

Then everyone was

staring at me.

[Emma] And everyone was

like, "Yes! Yes!"

[Jane] You mean everyone was

applauding for you.

Everyone was

applauding for you.

[Jane] Me being outed in front

of a whole auditorium is

is doesn't even is so

much doesn't even

match the day to day struggles

that make

being trans even harder. And

when it doesn't have to

be that hard. Like shopping for

clothes. That person

going into that dressing room

is That might be their first

time actually going out in

public and not doing this

behind closed doors where they

feel most safe.

Like, it's so noticeable when

people are judging you.

[Laura] Yeah, doesn't help

when someone is saying "chicks

with dicks" behind you

in the hallway.

Um, but could you tell us, like,

what we could have done

better.

[Jane] I think you guys were

amazing in everything you did

to help me and be there for me.

I couldn't have asked for

more.

You know, I think you guys did

a beautiful job.

[David] And your sisters?

[Jane] Not so much.

[laughter]

- No, they were the best.

- They were the best.

The first, um, prom Jane went

to,

we're putting these

dresses on Jane,

and Emma is getting

pissed off, because everything

looks fabulous on Jane, and Emma

is like "Let me try that on!"

And she's five feet tall and

she just was like

"I hate you." She's like "Put it

back on, you look better in it."

That was so funny.

I always looked up to

Emma.

Well, you know what

honey, we look up to you.

You're one of the bravest

people we know.

[Jane] Stop crying.

[Laura] I can't! I love you so

much.

[Jane] Drink your tea.

[Laura] I can't drink, I'll

cough. I'll choke.

It's okay when they cry.

[David] She cries over eggs.

[Jane] You cry

over everything.

[Laura] They were supposed to

be poached.

They were hard boiled.

Leave me alone. It was 20 years

ago and I was hungover.

[David] She cried and we were

in a restuarant.

We love each other more than

anything else. We do.

We're a very close knit

family, but even in that

tightness and that closeness, we

missed it.

Everything you planned for,

everything you thought that

your child's life would be, is

completely out the window.

And you worry. You're scared.

I'm so f*cking lucky,

that I have my f*cking parents

and my family.

It's just I feel bad sometimes.

Like, I feel like a burden

but, I know that they love me.

I'm just being emotional.

[tearing paper]

Hey!

[Laura] What does it say?

Accepted!

Yay!

Accepted into the School of

Visual Arts.

Yay! Aww.

Look at that. What

does it say?

Accepted Students Day.

[Jane] What I submitted for my

application to SVA, was a

whole compilation of all the

films I made in high school,

and I submitted that and I

wrote a whole long essay,

about my journey and being

trans

and wanting to work in the

film industry.

[Jane] I'll get to learn what I

like to do, what I love to do.

And I also want to do modeling

and acting.

Like I think I wanna keep my

options open, and I dont think

I wanna do just

one thing either.

What I most like about

modeling is

the fashion involved and,

so when I'm gonna be in L.A.

there's gonna be at least five

photoshoots. I believe. I don't

know the specific numbers.

And we're going to be doing

rehearsals for the show.

I haven't really

met a lot of trans girls.

That would be cool.

[Gabriel] This is my This was

our bedroom.

I love you. I can't ask for

better. I really can't.

So this was my wife's bedroom

and my bedroom.

And I had a son. I lost him in

an automobile accident.

That's John. He

was 22 years old.

That was my first tragedy.

Losing him.

I hope I make 92, I'll make 91

on the 9th of February.

I don't know why they got this

for me. I'm not gonna use it.

That's the plaque that's on the

moon.

I put a little arrow right

where my name is.

So I was in the aerospace

industry for about 42 years.

My big project was Apollo 12.

I signed the plaque which went

to the moon.

That plaque is still on the

surface of the moon with my

name on it.

I have a lot to be thankful

for. I really do.

That's it.

[Laura] Dad!

[Gabriel] Well, I have nothing

to complain about except

losing my wife. But listen,

nobody lives forever.

We were married 58 years.

[Laura] Jane first came out to

her grandma.

[Jane] Yeah, it was um..

[Gabriel] Didn't bother her.

[Laura] No.

[Gabriel] We're very broad

minded.

[Jane] I was in eighth grade,

when I came out to my grandma.

Um, yeah, um

[Laura] You texted her.

[Jane] I did, I texted her, "I

am transgender."

and he picked it up.

And then he said "What

is this? What?"

And then I ran and took the

phone from him.

And I took my grandma's hand

and I took her to her bedroom

and then I was, I showed her

the text

and she was like, "Okay wow"

she's like "Well at least like..

you said something." Like,"At

least you could be happy now."

"And I love you." And she

was just really there for me.

And then the next day I told you

and the day after that I told

everyone else, so

[Laura] And I blamed Caitlyn

Jenner and I said,

"Stop watching that show!"

But she didn't even know

what it meant.

She thought I was tr*nsv*stite.

No, you meanTayta?

Yeah, Tayta thought

that.

Tayta was like, "Just wear

the clothes in the house.

Nobody has to know."

"Just wear the girl clothes in

the house. Shhh!"

"Don't worry. Lots of guys do

that. It's okay."

We knew. We knew

something was bothering her.

But she still wouldn't talk

about it and we didn't wanna

pressure her into it or corner

her.

[Jane] I was just struggling

'cause I didn't know anything.

I was, like, lost. I was just so

uneducated about everything.

Right, well we all were.

Yeah, I didn't know

trans was a thing.

[David] When Jane first came

out to the family it was a

Orthodox, causeJidu is

Syrian Orthodox.

And it was an Orthodox Easter

and Jane showed up and she was

stunning. She had her makeup

on. She had high heels. She had

a beautiful dress on.

But our families in Brooklyn

growing up, all of them

very, very close knit. Very

tight. Um, if I had to tell you

where they stood on

a political range

I would say everybody is right

in the middle.

The majority of people are

right in the middle.

They might lean right, but

everybody's in the middle.

And for the family to have

never seen her before

they had heard, now.

We had told everybody.

But to see her and to see the

look on everybody.

And how everybody swarmed her

and embraced her and hugged her.

And just the tears that were

in that room.

And I'm talking about, you

know, 60 people.

[Laura] I think I called every

g*y cousin I had.

And they were like "Oh that's

beautiful."

I'm like, "What do I do?" "What

do I do?" "What do I say?"

"What do I say?" "Tell me what

not to say."

It was a scary time. I mean we

were just scared for you.

You know? "What if she changes

her mind,

this is just a phase?"

You know? Like just all these

things go through your mind.

Who's gonna follow her into a

parking lot and beat the crap

out of her? You know?

Those are real things that

happen everyday.

And you're scared to, you know?

And I can't follow you

to school everyday.

[Laura] From a parent's view

and I've seen it firsthand that,

um, parents make it about

themselves and not their

children. And, uh, I think you

have to

take a step to the side and

realize

it's not about you and it's

about somebody else's

happiness.

As a mom who has struggled

seeing the unhappiness in their

child

Worrying about suicide.

Going to bed wondering if I'm

gonna wake up to a child

who is not with us anymore.

And then like, just finally

coming to that breaking point

where she comes out.

And it's just it's almost

like um

a weight coming off of all

of us.

[David] And then everyone

would tell us, you know,

"Jane is lucky to have you guys

as parents,"

and I'm just saying well

We're lucky to have we're

lucky to be Jane's parents.

Nobody is exceptional for

loving your kid.

We're not exceptional. Jane,

you're exceptional.

[Laura] I want her to have it

all.

And she's gonna have it all.

Within time, she's gonna

have it all.

She's gonna have everything

she wants.

[Jane] I think my mom has

always wanted to support me

and really pushed me to do

better.

Because coming out I was very

shy. I was very closed off.

And I wasn't very confident

and she always noticed the

things I picked up on and things

that I was interested in.

So for her, like, putting me in

a competition.

Like, I would never be able to

do that myself.

[music playing]

[Jane] Today's the day!

We're going to L.A.!

I can't wait. I just

wanna have a lot of fun.

[Laura] She's always been

excited about L.A.

Even before all of this. She

always said she wanted to live

in L.A.

I'm like, "Do you even know

where L.A. is?"

I mean, like, who get to do

this? Not many people.

[music playing]