01x08 - Almost, Lady, Almost!

[bunniefuu]

Previously on Run the World

I cannot get anything done

because I am home with your daughter,

and you're out,

eating f*cking doughnuts.

Your job is wack. You know that.

You're better than this.

Mia? You still at L'Oréal?

- I am.

- Do you think I could come in

and pitch it for you guys?

We'll be pitching L'Oréal.

Keith Mumford will run point.

I quit.

I do kind of feel like lately

Whitney's been a bit distant.

You cheated on Ola?

You have to tell him.

Hey?

Ladies, I hope you

enjoyed dinner at Philippe's.

Yes, Hope, there's nothing

cooler than going

to the hottest restaurant of 2009.

Expensive Chinese food vexes me.

That might be r*cist.

Is it?

Because I have the exact same sentiment

about expensive soul food.

I don't understand dining out

for soul food at all.

I have a mason jar

full of recycled grease

if I want fried chicken.

I'm just saying,

I prefer my shrimp and broccoli

out of a cardboard box.

Ladies.

Please, stay focused

on the night ahead.

Next, we have a table

and bottle service at the club.

Then it's back to the Marriott Marquis

for a slumber party.

Mm.

I didn't want to start

the scavenger hunt

without Whitney,

but I fear we won't be able

to complete several of the tasks.

Hope, I'm not taking a picture

with a cop on a horse, ever.

Okay, I actually love scavenger hunts.

And I totally call asking

a random stranger for a condom.

Ooh, yes.

I don't know if I'm more annoyed

that we're doing this or that

you're so excited about it.

Sondi, what time did Whitney

say she was getting off work?

Uh, I'm not sure.

- Oh, maybe I should call her.

- No, no.

That's not necessary. You know what?

She just texted me,

and she is on her way.

Well, did she say how long?

It just said "coming."

Coming around the mountain.

She's almost here.

So what are we up to here?

Are we moving a dead body?

I thought, uh

I thought Sondi moved in

with Matthew, right?

Yeah, she did. But she kept her place.

He doesn't know.

No, don't don't tell me that.

Yo, Whitney,

you keep making me the househusband

that knows too much.

I don't want to hold no peaches

or apples or whatever the f*ck.

Ola, relax.

We're the only ones who know.

That is even worse.

Yo, you need to tell Sondi

I don't want no parts of this.

She and Matt need to talk.

Yeah. About that

Sir, I booked the promotional

bottle service sale

from hotparties.net.

It says it's redeemable

any night the club is open.

I-I have a confirmation number.

I don't know what you're talking about,

and we're at capacity.

- It's right here.

- Hey, what's up?

Oh! Excuse me. What was that?

Isn't that the bouncer

from the Soulja Boy party?

Oh! Oh, hey! Don't you remember us?

Nope.

Like I told your friend,

we're not letting

anyone else in, ma'am.

"Ma'am"? Did you just "ma'am" us?

This is certified PY

you're looking at, sir.

A group of middle-aged

ladies like yourselves

shouldn't be out here like this.

It's a bad look.

But I have a confirmation number!

Hope, bring your a*s.

- What?

- Mm-mm.

You are officially relieved

of tonight's duties.

I'm taking over. I can't.

What is she

Hope, we really appreciate

everything that you've done.

We just had a different vision

of what this night was gonna be.

- Yoo-hoo. Hi.

- Hey.

So crazy question.

We're doing this, like,

scavenger hunt thing

for a bachelorette.

Um, and for 10 points, just wondering,

do you have a condom

that I could borrow?

You can't borrow it,

but you can use it with me.

Okay, ew.

You are not a productive

participant of this game.

Well, I Googled "young Black women

living it up in the city,"

and that's what came up.

Oh, my God, really?

The first hit, I'm guessing.

- Yeah, it looked great.

- Okay. Okay.

I booked us a suite at the Peninsula.

- Oh!

- Let's go.

Oh, no, but all of our belongings

are at the suite I booked

at the Marriott Marquis

in Times Square.

Listen, I will suffer many indignities

in the name of friendship.

I've already spent hundreds

of dollars on fried rice

and been rejected from the club,

but I will not stay

at the Marriott Marquis

in Times Square.

- Well, why not?

- Now, let's go, okay?

Well, I get lots of perks there.

Oh! Thank you.

- Oh!

- Shotgun.

And where the f*ck is Whitney?

Let's go.

Where the f*ck is Whitney?

Let's just get out of here, please.

I slept with someone else.

Honestly, I think it was my version

of a nervous breakdown, but

but it has nothing

to do with you or us.

I mean, Ola, I-I know

that this sounds lame,

but I-I love you so much.

Um

Uh, I'm not sure what

you want me to say here.

Well, why are you telling me this?

Because I know that

we can work through this.

We've survived long distance,

grad school, your residency,

sick parents.

And none of it was easy,

but we got through it

because we were always

honest with each other.

And I couldn't keep lying to you.

Well, do you feel better?

No.

I feel awful.

But I didn't want us to have

any secrets in our marriage.

Y-you f*cked some other dude, Whitney.

That's not a secret. That's betrayal.

No, it wasn't like that. It's

Ola, you asked me to

show you my whole self.

So here I am,

just begging you to forgive me

for making one terrible mistake.

Wow, that was a good speech.

Did Ella help you write that?

Should I be moved?

Buzz is wearing off. Need more alcohol.

I am happy to go to the liquor store.

Peninsula c*ck prices

are way beyond my capacity.

Tonight is on me.

I am drunk, jobless,

and in control of my destiny.

We are bossing up, b*tch.

Okay. If you say so.

Where's Sondi?

- Sondi!

- What?

These nice guys are gonna

give me a piggyback ride.

It's worth 45 points

for the scavenger hunt.

If you don't bring yo a*s, b*tch.

Come on.

You watch too much Law & Order: SVU

to behave like this!

Hi. I am a diamond rewards member.

I booked a suite with points,

and I'm trying to get a refund.

Yeah, yeah, I do have

a confirmation number.

- I know, but

- I went in a lot of trouble

Yeah, and the French fries

and the mac and cheese.

- Ooh, and the burger.

- And the burger.

Sondi, this should be a swoop

- Oh!

- That drapes at the waist.

Renee and Ella, you guys need

to start on your dresses

so that we can all

get judged at the same time.

Uh, we'll join in after this glass.

- Okay. Anyway

- They're not coming.

what do you need?

Are you okay?

I'm fine. Yeah, I'm fine.

I'm just trying to work up

the nerve to hit Mia

to see if I can pitch

L'Oréal on my own.

The worse she can say is no.

It's just a no I'm not sure

I can handle right now.

- Here comes the bride

- Yeah.

- Okay.

- All dressed in white

Oh, Sondi.

- It's your mans now.

- No!

This is my me time, okay?

Deadlines, boyfriends,

and tiny little humans

that I take care of be damned.

This weekend,

I am a Black girl gone wild.

And I will do anything I want.

Anything!

No, that does not include

showing my t*tties to strangers

because, I mean, I was raised

below the Mason-Dixon Line.

Okay, girl.

Should we get them some water?

No. I didn't order a stripper.

They're the entertainment.

I've never been to a wedding like that.

Oh!

Okay. Now, what's up with you?

I haven't heard from

Anderson in three days.

Oh, girl. Just call him.

We're too old to be playing

these reindeer games.

I'm not sure I even

want to talk to him right now.

Okay. That's all I have for you.

That was all the energy

I had for Anderson today.

Ah! No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

- No, no, no, no, no.

- I look so good!

Guys, guys!

Am I interrupting something?

No, it's just the girls looking for me.

They're at my bachelorette.

You want to look at my phone?

Don't act like I'm being paranoid.

So

who was it?

- Do I know him?

- No.

No. Of course not.

It's just some random guy.

Never saw him again.

Classy.

Okay. Wait. Scooch to your left.

- Down a little bit. Okay. Okay.

- Okay.

Come on. This is worth 25 points.

Just f*cking take it.

I was like,

"f*ck you. I quit."

And I did my Slick Woods strut

out the room.

Bam, bam, bam.

And your boss just walked out, too?

Yeah. That part, I didn't see coming.

And I wasn't sure if she was serious,

but, ooh, these 83 texts she sent me

in the last two hours says differently.

- Oh, oh, my God.

- Right?

Oh, I wish I had the ba*ls

to do something like that.

Mm.

I dream of cursing out Karen

and quitting

at least once a week.

Oh, no, Abby's cool. She's not a Karen.

Oh, no.

My boss is actually named Karen.

It's crazy when you think about it,

but this next generation of white women

will be void of Karens and Beckys.

Thank God.

It's like naming a Black girl Precious.

I mean, after watching the

movie, how could you, right?

Right.

Yes. Yes!

Renee, I'm really excited for you.

Really?

So is the goal

to start your new company

and pitch L'Oréal?

Mm.

I haven't gotten there yet,

but I think so.

You only need one client

to build your agency.

Send her a text.

It'll be your first act

as CEO of your own firm.

Do it.

Hope, I think I might

be starting to like you.

Oh, funny!

I almost feel the same way about you.

So when did this happen?

Maybe six weeks ago.

- Wow. Wow.

- I wanted to tell you, but

Oh, yeah. Right.

While we were running

around town tasting cakes,

posing for newspapers,

picking out plates and sh*t,

you were just lying to me?

You you were just l-lying every day.

Were you trying to humiliate me?

No. Of course not.

I mean, all this talk

about how you're under so much pressure

to do the right thing

and show up for everybody.

What about me, Whitney?

What about showing up for me?

I am here for you!

I would do anything for you!

Jesus.

What am I gonna tell my family?

Why would you tell them anything?

This this doesn't have to break us.

Please don't call off the wedding.

Didn't you just call off the wedding?

Isn't that what we're doing here?

Uh, the service charge

is gratuity, right?

It is, uh, but you can add

extra, if you'd like.

No, we good.

Dinner was included at the Marriott.

Girl, we were just bonding.

Please step away from my nerves.

Ooh, this is a good one.

"Build a man's anatomy

from found objects

and take a picture."

- Done.

- Oh, my God.

Hey, baby.

What are you doing still awake?

I just wanted to come

and say good night.

Does your daddy know

that you have his phone?

No.

Well, you should sneak downstairs

and hide it in the couch

so he thinks he lost it.

Okay. I will.

- Love you.

- Mm, love you, too.

Bye.

I thought you were off mom duty?

Shut up.

Oh!

Girl, those French fries cost

$2.50 each.

You better eat that, h*.

Stop throwing the French fries!

- Those cost

- Ten dollars!

too much money!

Honestly, I

I just never saw this coming from you.

I will never, ever do this again.

You have to believe me.

You just dirtied up everything.

Like, I feel dumb as hell right now.

I had blind faith in you.

When other dudes would talk

about their girls cheating on 'em,

I was always like, "Nah, bro.

Not my girl. Not a chance."

g*n to my head,

if someone had told me this,

I would've defended you.

And I would have been a sucker.

I promise I have never

cheated on you before.

Because you're some

type of saint, right?

You never do anything wrong.

You never say anything wrong.

But that's all just a-a f*cking facade.

Because you're actually

just too damn afraid

for people to see you

for who you really are,

which is a liar.

You, me,

this wedding,

How we're so happy together

It was all a f*cking lie.

Ola, it's not.

- It's not?

- It's not!

- I swear, it's not.

- Stop. Stop!

Stop.

Wait, who is blowing you up

this time of night?

Uh, it's these stupid alerts

on my Carly/Emmett story.

Of course the girl he cheated

with is his assistant.

Oh, that is so unoriginal.

Wait, wait, wait, wait,

wait, wait, wait.

That was your story?

"DaniSpillsTheTea"?

Guilty.

Literally guilty of ruining lives.

Girl, bye!

That story had all my

group chats cracking.

Thanks. I'm thrilled.

Hope, Ella's allergic to joy.

- We're working on her.

- I am not.

I feel so happy right now!

Ooh, then why are you yelling?

You're so small and so hostile.

It's a small people's complex.

We always yelling.

There's a lot of fire

in that little body.

Where's the weed man now?

I'm supposed to be high right now!

I think we need snacks.

Hey.

So, if I've never done weed,

how many of these do I take?

Should I just eat

this bag of gummy bears?

Girl, no. These ain't Haribo bears.

Okay. You know what?

- Just take two.

- Mm-hmm.

I'll know when you're high,

'cause you'll start

saying some dumb sh*t.

Mm-hmm.

Hey, uh, I'm gonna head down

to Duane Reade and get some munchies.

Uh, there's no f*cking way

we're paying $25 for chips.

Oh, girl. Hell, no.

We ain't ordering sh*t else up in here.

Get me some Lemonheads.

Mmm! Smell this.

Oh!

- That's lovely.

- Isn't that nice?

Yeah.

Oh, hi.

Hello, ladies.

It's the duchess of dildos!

Oh, I am so glad I caught you

before you went to the Marriott.

What is this?

It's the naughty part of the night.

This is a bachelorette party,

after all.

Albeit, there is no bachelorette.

Has anyone heard

Can you teach me to put

a condom on with my mouth?

Oh, yes. And more.

Um, I'm sorry, miss.

But there has been some confusion here.

We appreciate you for coming,

but we will not need

your services tonight.

And don't be sad.

We don't tip well anyway.

No, you take your card

and your dicks, okay?

What the f*ck?

Renee you are such a Grinch.

I'm about to get

high as f*ck right now,

and I'm not about to be

staring at no purple dildos

while Paula Deen is in here

giving me some sex advice.

Period. I'm not doing it.

Oh, it's Mia.

Oh!

- Read it out loud.

- No, no, no, no.

Please, let me

Okay. "Hi, Renee. Congratulations.

"So proud of you for taking this leap.

"I'll see what I can do

about bringing you in.

No promises, but I'll do my best."

It's not a no.

Yeah!

Let's have a celebratory blunt!

What? What is it?

Huh? Am I

am I am I not giving

you enough attention?

I'm not some teenager

with an insecurity problem.

I mean, I literally kiss

the ground you walk on.

I let you be the star

of our relationship

because you need it so badly.

But I'm a

I'm a f*cking Harvard-educated

doctor, Whitney.

I'm actually the f*cking sh*t.

And and still,

that isn't enough for you.

I have relocated three times for you.

Wherever you go,

I am there by your side

because I love you and because

you're my best friend.

Am I? Am I your best

friend or your safety net?

How could you even say that?

Because, apparently, all my friendship

and companionship

All my, like, constant

showering you with love

and affection

isn't enough for you.

I'm not enough for you.

That is not true.

That is not true.

Ola I love you.

I-I chose this life with you

the day that I met you.

Okay? 'Cause I love you.

Okay. Stop. Really, stop.

Stop stop with the f*cking

"I love yous"!

It's okay. It's okay.

It's okay.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

It's okay.

It's okay, all right?

You got here fast.

I thought you girls were

staying at the Marriott.

Change of plans. Don't ask.

I got your email. Thank you.

Ella, I sent you that email

because you're my favorite writer.

I wasn't trying to tear you down.

I know.

I get it, and you're not wrong.

I just wasn't ready to

hear you say all the things

that I've been saying to

myself these last few months.

Well, if I told you what

you wanted to hear,

you wouldn't love me.

Dude

you irked the sh*t out of me.

You know, sometimes you

just got to jump off the cliff.

Everybody's always running around

telling people to jump off cliffs,

but nobody ever talks

about what it feels like

when you're falling.

Sure.

But what makes you think

the next time you jump

you're gonna fall instead of fly?

I'm sorry I kicked you out.

I know.

But, honestly,

this kind-of-sort-of-dating

sh*t we got going on

is corny as f*ck.

I love you.

You ain't seen nothin'!

- This is for free.

- Get ready.

Five, six, seven

Oh, don't you wish

You were A Spelmanite like me?

Oh, don't you wish

You were A Spelmanite like me?

'Cause we're the oh-so-fine

Divas of the AUC

Oh!

I thought you ladies weren't Greek?

We're not.

That was our freshman year

dorm stroll, okay?

Mm-hmm.

H-H!

H-H!

Oh! Turn it up!

Turn it up! Turn it up!

2006 in this b*tch!

Hey!

- Turn up, turn up!

- Oh! Oh!

Turn up like it's 2006!

Lean wit' it Rock wit' it

Lean wit' it, rock wit' it

Throw it up!

Lean wit' it, rock wit' it

Lean wit' it, rock wit' it

Lean wit' it

Quietly While you were asleep

The moon and I Were talking

I asked that she'd always

Keep you protected

Amari?

Hey.

Hey.

- You having a good time?

- Yeah.

It is a level of madness

that I cannot begin to explain,

but

yeah, I'm having a really good time.

When you coming back?

I'm not sure. Um

check out's Sunday,

so maybe, like, noon or one.

- I don't really know.

- You know what?

Why don't you stay another night?

I'll call the front desk

and take care of it.

You need some space

to get your work done

and not worry about us.

I don't worry about you.

You're a grown-a*s man.

Yeah, you do.

That's one of the many reasons

I love you so much.

I know. I love you, too.

Where the f*ck you been?

Yeah, and where are my Lemonheads?

I was down in the lobby with Anderson.

- Boo!

- Boo.

You suck.

Who is this Anderson person

and why do we hate him?

He's Ella's super-ex-boyfriend.

They dated for a few years.

No, no, no, no.

I mean what's his stats?

And by that, I mean degrees,

profession, height, width,

and, um, personal debt.

Morehouse undergrad.

Yale Law. Nonprofit lawyer.

No kids, no convictions.

He has some student loans,

but Kanye shrug.

And he looks like this.

Whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo.

Girl. He is '90s-R&B-singer fine.

What's wrong with him?

Well, that depends on when he was

Nothing is wrong with him.

And he's officially my man again.

- What?

- Good for you.

Don't be the b*tch before Juanita.

- Oh.

- What?

Hope

say more.

Don't be the chick

that dated Michael Jordan

right before he became the man.

That woman either k*lled herself

or is somewhere sad

and not worth $200 million.

Ooh. Ooh!

- DBBBJ.

- Oh.

Yes.

Don't be the b*tch before Juanita.

Yes. Yes, girl.

- Yes!

- Yes.

- DBBBJ.

- DBBBJ.

Love it.

It's the only principle to live by.

Yes.

You hit the birth jackpot when

you were born a Black woman.

Hallelujah.

Do not let a scarcity of vision

interfere with your walk, honey.

Girl.

You done said a word.

I need to write that down.

- You got it.

- Hope!

You officially

win, uh, the bachelorette!

- You sure did.

- Oh, yes!

- Facts.

- Thank you! Thank you!

And in that sentiment, Ella,

if Anderson makes you happy,

I'm happy for you.

Me too.

But if that n*gga

breaks your heart again,

we cutting his ba*ls off.

Totally fair.

Where are you going?

I need some time to think.

Seriously?

Yeah.

I can't decide the rest of

my life in a couple hours.

I need time.

Well, but, what? how much time?

Uh, two days, two weeks?

If you're gonna cancel,

I need to tell people, so

Whitney, you don't get

to control this part.

You know, when I asked you to marry me,

tolerating infidelity

wasn't a part of the plan.

- Ola, please, let me

- I'll call you.

Okay?

- So it's two decks.

- Two decks!

- Okay.

- You get a deck.

- You get a deck.

- Everybody get a deck.

All the decks.

You got a deck, you got a deck

You know, with the en-suite bath,

- this must be the

- Hey.

Where the hell have you been?

- Hi.

- Wow.

This is wonderful, Keisha.

And more outdoors? Oh, my goodness

I don't think this wedding

is gonna happen.

W-What?

This isn't a dream, is it?

'Cause the edges of the

room are kind of fuzzy.

Hope, lay down.

No, it's a real-life nightmare.

We're gonna fix this.

- I'm so sorry, baby.

- Oh, baby.

Whoo-hoo!