01x07 - The Woman Who Returned Her Husband

[bunniefuu]

Of course,

the title is a nod to the place.

But more specifically,

it's a nod to the immigrant women

who make America,

as told through the textiles

from their country of origin.

Women… like my mother right here.

Can you tell us a bit more

about the sourcing of the materials

for this piece in particular?

Yeah. We imported

them from all over the world.

It's all surrounding…

You spent more time talking

to that security man

than you did to Sareena and her friends.

Maurice, from Senegal. Nice man.

I'm so ashamed of your behavior.

- How long do you want? Fifty seconds?

- Let's say 45.

Why are you making such a problem?

I am not. You are.

Finally I get out of this house

to do something new

and meet new people, but no.

No! Instead, we come home

when you want to come home

to do the same old,

same old bloody, darn thing.

You didn't have to leave.

You could have taken a cab home.

Here. Take it.

And tell me if it's not warm enough.

It's fine. Geez.

I don't know what's gotten into you.

This is beyond ridiculous.

I'll need a fork, darling.

Happy birthday to you

May you have a long and happy life, Anu.

May the gods bless you and bless Vikas,

and give you many, many,

many more years of--

Arre, Anu, are you crying?

No.

Don't be upset because

you're getting old. We all are.

- Yeah. Yes!

- Yes. Look at Nalini.

Used to be so beautiful,

now looking so tired.

Doctor says I'm anemic.

No, it's Vik.

I've really had it with him.

- Come on.

- Goodness gracious.

- Manu is on these apps.

- I don't know what…

He's making this sound.

No, no.

I am serious this time.

Last night at her artist show,

I saw my Sareena living her life so free.

And then of course, Vik made us

come home early for no reason.

I serve him dinner, and it's--

it's just the same routine day in,

day out, and I feel so trapped.

Yes, but what is marriage

if not an agreement for two people

to be trapped together?

But did I know that?

I got married without even knowing

what it would be like.

I was so young, so stupid.

We all did. That's just what was done.

What to do now but endure it?

Shall we order, then?

But, Pushpa, no,

I don't wanna just endure it.

I wanna be happy,

and Vik is… holding me back.

Arre, from what?

What grand old thing

you think you're missing?

I'm 60 years old, and all I do

is attend to his needs,

and he never attends to any of mine.

And I know it doesn't have to be this way.

You could return him.

- What?

- Udaya,

what rubbish are you saying?

In America,

if you don't like your husband,

simply exchange him and get a new husband.

No. This will not do.

All I'm saying is, if you're not happy,

Anu, make yourself happy.

Happy, happy?

Nowadays people care too much about that.

Life isn't all about happiness.

Life is about enduring hard things.

Now can we please order some food

before I collapse from starvation?

My stomach is making gurra, gurra, gurra.

Excuse me? We're ready here.

Can I please order for everyone?

It'll be quicker.

And what's the reason

for your return today?

The reason?

Yes, ma'am. What's the reason

for returning your husband?

Where to start?

Yeah, I guess it boils down to me

looking at the next 20 years of my life,

God willing,

and wanting something different.

From me. Just say it.

You want something different from me.

Our options are: "does not fit,"

"manufacturing defect," "arrived late,"

"arrived damaged," "not suitable."

Just say "not suitable"…

anymore.

Yeah, I also have this.

Don't know if you need the--

What's it called, the husband's warranty?

Oh, yes. Thanks.

Wow. Thirty-seven years of marriage.

I know it's donezo, but still,

that's quite an accomplishment,

so congrats on that.

Thank you.

So, what now from here?

Well, we'll take you,

Mr. Vikas, right here into the back,

assess for pricing based on age,

quality, history, relevant skills…

Okay.

Don't listen to what my wife says about

my skills, because I have many skills.

I know a lot about geography, I--

Well, then we'll shine you up,

do any necessary refurbishments

before putting you back out on the floor

for resale purposes.

Back out onto the floor?

Right here, our husbands section.

Okay, Anu.

Well, I guess this is me.

Okay. Well, thank you, Vik.

All right, well…

All right.

I'm Ibrahim. Welcome.

Hey. I'm Sal.

I'm Vikas.

Taking down one last number

for your exchange,

and then you two

will officially be finito.

Exchange? No, no.

I don't want another husband.

I'm afraid I can only offer you

an in-store exchange for a husband

or wife of same or lesser value.

But I looked it up,

and the terms of agreement said--

Unfortunately,

that doesn't apply to out-of-country

purchases made before 1986.

Tissue?

Thank you.

Do you wanna watch TV?

Sure. Whatever you'd like to do.

Okay. How about the news?

News is just perfect.

Officials noted that

if both parties are not back

at the bargaining table

by early next week,

chances are not good

at reaching a resolution

before the self-imposed deadline arises.

The spokesperson

for the striking hotel workers said today.

The rank and file remains optimistic

that a new contract can be agreed upon…

I wanted to be a painter before I met Vik.

I think that's why I chose you.

I'm flattered. You're a rad woman, you

know that?

Have you always

wanted to be an artist?

No. No way.

Let's see.

I've been a day camp counselor

and an ice cream scooper.

I worked at Sears in the stockroom.

I love Sears.

Then in college, I did a million things.

I was a campus tour guide.

I worked a zip line in Costa Rica.

Long story.

Spent a summer fixing office chairs.

Longer story.

I did some modeling.

You were a model?

Briefly.

What, like a fashion model?

Come on, Anu. You got this.

No, I don't. It's all rubbish.

It's not all rubbish.

Here, I'm gonna come see.

This is great. It's great.

It's really, really great.

Yeah. The more you say

"really, really great,"

the more I know it's all lies.

It is. It's an awesome first effort.

It's dynamic.

Yeah, your perspective's

all at play, right?

Your proportions are all happening.

- It's okay, you can relax.

- I am relaxed.

Really? 'Cause your shoulders

are all the way up by your ears.

It's funny,

my mom's used to be like that too.

Do I remind you of your mom?

A little, but, like, not in a creepy way.

"For me, exercise is more than physical.

It's therapeutic,"

Michelle Obama.

Well,

I've always wanted to get in shape.

"You have to exercise or at some point,

you'll just break down,"

Barack Obama, obviously. Let's go!

Come on, you can do it!

Five, six, seven, eight!

Punch, and knee. Punch, and knee.

Decide, commit, succeed.

Decide, commit, succeed.

Remember, good things

come to those who wait.

- Come on! Move it!

- I know.

Punch and punch!

…which is nice,

because the only place Vik ever moved

was from the kitchen to the La-Z-Boy.

Raoul, are you hearing me?

Anu, don't you think that's

a little too much butter on your chapati?

You should have asked me.

I could've told you

which fellows were the loafers.

You see this poor b*stard here, Anu?

The one in the baseball hat?

Haan. No good.

Reduced his price four times.

No.

No one taken you off the shelf yet?

Just a lot of window shopping so far.

But it's been giving me time

to see that I--

I need to make, you know,

a couple changes here and there.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah. I've been talking a lot

with Sal and Ibrahim.

Ibrahim is a family therapist by trade.

Trying to figure out

where I went wrong and--

and maybe what you said

when you were returning me was right.

Maybe we weren't suitable

for each other anymore.

I can see now that I needed

to make these, you know

adjustments, and I didn't.

I have been learning a lot

about myself as well.

I finally realized I've been looking

in the wrong direction for happiness.

- Really?

- Yeah. I need to look within.

I need to figure out who I am.

Being alone that will make me happy.

Right, right. Maybe that is for the best.

Good luck with that.

Thank you, Vik.

I gotta go. I will--

- I'll drop in and see you next week maybe.

- All right.

- Okay.

- Right.

- Bye.

- Okay, bye.

Vernazza.

Bocca della Verità.

Ciao bella.

Spaghetti carbonara.

Welcome to my humble,

blue abode.

This is what

I was talking about, the front garden.

I'm sure you've seen this

just a million times.

I mean, you just look.

Hi, Anu!

Here, can you hold this for a minute?

Anu, where'd you go?

- Hi.

- Are you okay?

It looked like you fell down.

Hey, I just picked up-- Wow!

A steal of a deal at the store.

Actually, I've always sorta had a crush

on him.

And it was such a bargain,

I just couldn't pass it up, frankly.

Is it gonna be awkward?

No, come on. Not awkward at all.

Good, good.

Yeah, I didn't think so, because, yeah,

you're the one who returned him.

Yeah, yeah. Just…

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

You returned him.

I picked him up.

So, this front garden

is just kind of a washout.

I think we oughta look at the back

because some really good things

are happening in the back.

Come on in.

- Well, okay.

- That's just great.

Hi, Anu.

What are you doing here?

Hi, Barbara.

I have just been doing

some cleaning up at home

and wanted to drop by this box of

Vik's old clothing in case he needs it.

Well, that is just so nice of you.

It's quite heavy, actually.

I can come in and put it down if you like.

Yeah. No. He won't be needing that.

- No?

- No. Oh, no.

I bought Vikas all new clothes.

Vikas?

- Barbie?

- Yeah?

- Everything okay?

- Whoo! Looking good.

Hello, Anu.

Doesn't he look great?

Yeah, you know what?

I think that maybe we're not ready

for unannounced visits quite yet.

Excuse me?

I think that we need a little more time

for everyone to get

used to this new normal.

I knew you'd agree. Bye-bye.

How you hanging in there, Mom?

What have you been up to?

Well, so many things, my Saru.

Let's see. Let's see.

I've been doing some gardening…

Okay, the next phrase,

"I would like a room for two."

All right.

Je voudrais une chambre pour deux.

Got it?

Je voudrais une chambre pour deux.

Good job. We're good.

…catching up on some reading…

some bird watching…

Well, just know I'm really proud of you.

Maybe we can even go

on a double date sometime.

I'm trying. Slowly, slowly.

Whenever you're ready.

There's this new sushi place

downtown I think you'd like.

-Oh, my God. Mom, are you okay?

- I-I'll call you back.

Arre. Oh, no. Barbara, are you okay?

I'm so sorry.

I didn't see you there.

How could you not see me, Anu?

Don't you have a rearview mirror?

I was distracted.

You know, I'm just getting

used to this driving thing,

'cause Vik used to do

all the driving when we were together.

Okay. All right. Yeah.

Look, at least let me help you

back into the house.

I'm sure you'd love that,

wouldn't you? No, thank you. I'm fine.

No! Thanks. I'm fine.

Son of a g*n! God, dang it.

Vikas! Honey, a little help.

- Anu did this.

- Come on. Okay.

All right.

- Can I? Thank you. All right.

- Yes. Okay, come on.

You got it?

- Yeah, just lean on me.

- You've got to be kidding me.

Go to hell.

And thank you

to all of our wonderful guests,

and thank you at home for watching.

- Hey, Clark.

- Anu.

Just in time for Valentine's Day.

Huge closeout in our

husbands aisle.

No, thank you.

Vik?

What happened?

Barbara returned me.

Said married life wasn't for her.

Still wearing the jacket she gave you,

looking like a hero.

I need all the help I can get, so…

No, no, don't. Don't look at my price.

No, Vik. This is too low!

I've been returned twice, so I'm,

I'm "bargain basement" now.

Come, sit. Here.

Hey, want something cool to drink?

Why did you change for her?

What?

Thirty-seven years I've done everything

for you, and you stopped doing…

anything.

And then you go live with Barbara,

and suddenly you're Johnny Mr. Helpful.

"Look at me,

cooking for Barbara, cleaning for Barbara,

brushing Barbara's graying, sh--

thinnish hair."

- So, you were-- you were spying on us?

- Be quiet.

It's not like I was James Bond,

shimmying up a drainpipe.

- James Bond doesn't shimmy.

- You know what I mean.

When we were first married, I would fix

something,

and all you could say is,

"Why-- Why did you fix it like that?"

Everything I did was wrong

just because it wasn't done

the way you would do it.

Nothing I did ever seemed to be

good enough for you, so I,

so I stopped trying.

All these years,

I thought the problem was you…

and then I spent time alone with myself.

I realized I'm not that easy either.

No. You're not.

So many ways

we took each other for granted.

I'm sorry.

So, what's next? Are you--

Are you here to buy Ibrahim?

No, I'm done shopping.

So you're going to stay single, then?

I don't know.

What happened to us?

Worked so bloody hard to come

to the land of plenty.

And now here we are

in a store of abundance

and yet left with nothing.

No, not nothing.

We have Sareena, our unmarried daughter

who comes to visit us

for a few hours every year.

If I were to buy you back,

it would have to be different.

It can't go back to what we had before.

Of course.

I want an exciting life.

And I don't know what that means

and I don't know how to get it,

but I know that I want it.

And I don't want you

to hold me back from it.

Me too. I don-- I don't want to sit

in an armchair the rest of my life.

No, I mean it, Vik. It's-- I'm not talking

about just going on a cruise.

No bloody cruises. They're sh*t.

What is this S-word you're suddenly using?

I'm a new man.

No.

You can't buy me.

I'm "bargain basement." You deserve

better.

- Get in the cart.

- Why?

- Get in.

- But I told you. You can't buy me.

Yeah, I am not going to buy you.

I'm gonna steal you.

Value this, value that. It's all rubbish.

Come on. Get in before somebody sees us.

Okay, but what are you doing?

You've never stolen anything in your life.

Yes, that's right.

But what, what if you want to return me?

You don't have a receipt.

I'm not returning you.

All right, go. Go.

Go.

Go, go.