01x01 - Landline

[bunniefuu]

(INTRIGUING MUSIC)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER, LAUGHTER)

Oh!

Oh, oh.

Can you just go. So, you do the

edges when you go over the top.

Yeah, that's how I do it.

Zorro.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Always running late.

But seriously, what

about the vegan nuggets?

'Cos I've only got $3.

- Are we on?

- Yep.

She's with Dana and Carmel. We gotta go.

Stay in your group of three.

Text me when you're done.

Cool. And tell any haters

to go f*ck themselves, right?

- We know.

- Excuse me, folks.

Are you getting the looks I'm getting?

We're wearing high-vis.

We could m*rder someone

and people would think,

'Ah, must be official.'

What are you talking about?

We're not murdering anybody,

except bigotry. (CHUCKLES) Come on.

Are you f*ck' kidding me?

Um, hello, Ellie.

This is not safe.

I mean, look at that crappy ladder.

Well, if I die,

I promise I'll fill out all

the Health and Safety paperwork.

- (LAUGHS)

- That's not even funny.

And, yeah, Transaware

would be in heaps of sh*t.

Transaware isn't doing this; I am.

Unless you say it's OK,

then it's kind of official.

Get down.

These f*ck don't get to win.

(RANDA'S 'FASHION' PLAYS)

It's kinda funny ♪

Take the other side.

Can't you tell that

I'm a hype artist? ♪

Can't you tell I

like to type garbage? ♪

It's not a love song.

It's not an anthem. ♪

This is for the mums

and the dads to dance on. ♪

Dang, that looks good.

Pour another one. ♪

When I hear the

beat go bump, like ♪

You could've seriously

hurt yourself, you know.

Yeah, well, people would

have been seriously hurt

had I left that trash up there.

I wouldn't have come to

visit you in the hospital.

You're lucky I didn't fall, then, eh.

Was thinking of sending you

one of those big f*ck-off cards

that say, 'I told you so.'

- (CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

- (LAUGHS)

Guardian Maia now.

(MUSIC POUNDS, INDISTINCT CHATTER)

But if you wanted to

- I don't think you can handle it.

- (LAUGHS)

Guardian Maia: totally trans.

- Really?

- Yeah. She's f*ck' hot.

What? (SCOFFS) Someone

is sitting on the remote.

That game had us on the edge

of our seats there for a second.

And I'm here with man of

the match Andrew Ainofo,

who scored that nail-biting final try.

Andrew, how'd that feel?

Yeah, bloody good, Duncan.

Uh, I've gotta say it was

a real team effort getting

it over the line. Uh,

I do feel that both teams really

brought their A-game tonight.

Since when do you follow

this sports ball thing?

I don't.

Ha ha!

(TINKLING, INTRIGUING MUSIC)

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

(KEYPAD BEEPS, DOOR BUZZES)

(SIGHS)

(ELEVATOR DINGS)

(WHISTLE BLOWS ON TV)

Why didn't you tell me? (LAUGHS)

- Shoes in the house.

- (SCOFFS) How long?

Three days.

(SIGHS)

(FILM PLAYS ON LAPTOP)

(LAUGHS)

(CELL PHONE VIBRATES)

(CELL PHONE THUDS)

(VIBRATING CONTINUES)

(FILM CONTINUES PLAYING)

There's way too many

characters in this film.

This shady-face guy set

up fake-accent man

to k*ll (CHUCKLES) bad-hair chick.

- Wait, when was this?

- Oh my God. If you paid attention,

I wouldn't have to

keep explaining things.

What?

(SIGHS)

Ah.

Hey, that's not fair.

Oh! Hey! Aah!

(BREATHES DEEPLY)

Mm.

(THUNDER RUMBLES)

REPORTER ON TV: And

markets remain volatile

with a slowdown in the

growth of local milk supply.

In other news, it's been

six months since the country

was shocked by the sudden death

of rugby star Andrew Ainofo.

Today, his wife, Sasha Ainofo,

has launched a new mental

health initiative in his name.

Andrew's life meant so much to so many,

and I want his

Sorry.

And I want his death

to mean something too.

- Hello?

- Oh.

Can I just check your ID, please?

SASHA: The Ainofo Foundation

will provide education around

depression and other

mental health issues

Thank you, man. Just these two?

SASHA: in professional athletes

and support to them and their families.

Yep. 18.50.

REPORTER: It was a

fitting tribute to a hero.

Surrounded by loving family

on a community rugby field

in Central Auckland

Not that?

the widow of Andrew

Ainofo today announced

- 14.99.

- a new suicide prevention

and support initiative in his name.

Cheers, man. Thank you.

SASHA: Six months ago, I

lost the love of my life

(DOOR SENSOR BEEPS)

and this country lost a hero.

I want to make sure that our heroes know

that we're not just looking up to them,

but that we are looking

out for them as well.

- Thank you very much.

- (APPLAUSE)

(CELL PHONE RINGS, VIBRATES)

(RINGING, VIBRATING CONTINUES)

(RINGING, VIBRATING CONTINUES)

Hello?

I know what you are, you piece of sh*t.

I've read all your disgusting

little messages to my husband.

(UNSTEADY BREATHING)

He is never going to get

a chance to know his kid

- because of you.

- (CALL ENDS)

(BREATHES DEEPLY)

f*ck. f*ck.

I mean, it's obvious when

you hear the statistics

about how large the

issue of mental health

is in our community.

Amongst our trans young people,

40% have severe depression.

Well, thank f*ck.

Nikki is stalling for you.

You need to answer your damn phone, Caz.

Actually, just answer

your phone in general,

that would be helpful.

someone who is working tirelessly

to change those figures.

Now it's my real pleasure to

introduce our next speaker,

an activist who's working tirelessly

for our q*eer and trans

young people's mental health

and just a really nice guy.

- Caz Davis, folks.

- (CHEERING, APPLAUSE)

(EXHALES, CLEARS THROAT)

I don't really know why I'm here.

(LAUGHTER)

Um

I was just trying to

(AUDIENCE MEMBER COUGHS)

I was

I do all this work, you know, and I

I burn myself out for this work.

And I think I'm making a difference

and that I can change things.

But there's no real point.

(EXHALES SHAKILY) 'Cos

when it really matters

I can't, and I have no idea

what the f*ck I'm doing.

(EXHALES SHAKILY)

I can't save you.

I can't save you!

EMOTIONALLY: I can't save you.

VOICE BREAKS: I can't save you.

WHISPERS: I've got you.

Um

What was that?

Eh?

Do you know what just happened in there?

You told a room full of

young, vulnerable people

who rely on you that

you can't help them.

Well, maybe they

shouldn't rely on me, then.

Ellie.

- Just give me two minutes, OK?

- Ellie, it's bad.

I really need you

- to come back in before it gets worse.

- OK. Give me two minutes. Stop. Stop.

I need you to go back to my

place and wait for me, OK?

Nah, I'm done with this bullshit.

It's not bullshit.

This is not bullshit, Caz.

This is what you do.

This is who you are.

This is who you are.

I'm f*ck' done.

- Look, take my key.

- f*ck off.

Go back to my apartment.

Here. Look, just take it.

Ellie, f*ck off.

Caz.

Caz!

(BREATHES SHAKILY)

(COUGHS)

(POUNDING ELECTRONIC MUSIC RISES)

(BREATHES DEEPLY)

(ELECTRONIC MUSIC CONTINUES)

(MUSIC BECOMES SOLEMN)

(SOLEMN MUSIC CONTINUES)

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

(PHONE RINGS)

(LINE RINGS)

(PHONE RINGS, FOOTSTEPS APPROACH)

Hello.

CAZ: Is this Gerald Davis?

Mm.

Um

What is it?

Jem? That you?

Dad, it's me.

Who's this?

Who is this?

Hello?

(INSECTS CHIRP)

(SHRILL, HIGH-PITCHED TONE)

(TYRES SCREECH)

(ENGINE REVS)

(ENGINE STOPS)

Get a f*ck' grip, loser.

(BOUNCY ELECTRONIC MUSIC)

(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

(SIGHS)

(ELECTRONIC MUSIC CONTINUES)

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

(MUSIC ENDS)