Best You Can, The (2025)

[bunniefuu]

The age difference?

No, it's never an issue.

I mean, just to give you

a sense of things,

I was in my 30s at the time.

I was a practicing physician.

I own my own condo.

I wasn't some flaky kid.

[CHUCKLES]

But then I met Warren.

And at 57,

he was in his absolute prime.

He was handsome and vigorous

and doing important things

with the kind of wisdom

and empathy

you only acquire

living in the world that long.

Mm-hm.

CYNTHIA:

Warren was a man...

a fully evolved,

remarkable man.

WARREN:

Okay. I'm back.

-Did she bring the dessert menu?

-Ah...

WARREN: Trust me,

you have never in your life

tasted a crme brle

like the one they make here.

Unless you've been to Paris,

of course.

-CYNTHIA: No, not our table.

-It's not?

No, no, no.

Come on.

We were just sitting here.

No, we weren't

just sitting here. Yeah.

-Oh.

-Here.

Terribly sorry.

-[SENTIMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING]

-Mm!

I went to the ladies room by

mistake. I guess I'm on a roll.

[CHUCKLES]



Deep breath.

[BREATHES DEEPLY]

No.

You didn't even give me a chance

to exhale. Motherfuck.

[GROANS]

What, are you having

a smoke back there?

-Pick up the pace.

-Try to relax.

Yeah. I might have to wait until

your fist is out of my g*dd*mn--

[GROANS]

Enlarged prostate.

Fairly common at your age.

Yeah? That why it takes me

a half hour to piss?

Yes. The gland is exerting

pressure in the urethra.

Picture a garden hose

being stepped on.

I don't want to do that.

Just fix it, man.

I'm begging you.

I do security patrol.

I'm in a car all night.

I gotta pee every second.

I'm going to people's bushes.

You urinate in people's bushes?

When I do vacation checks.

It's fine.

Flomax. It should give you some

relief, but see a urologist.

At your age

with these symptoms,

there's a significant risk

of prostate cancer.

Nice to meet you too.



[INSECTS CHIRPING]

WARREN: I really like that

Quinto fella at dinner.

It was very smart of you

to add him to your practice.

These African doctors are--

they're really more empathetic.

That's been my experience.

You did mention that in the car,

sweetheart, but thank you.

That means a lot that you feel

that way. It really does.

Oh-- Oh.

There you are.

Where's that voicemail button?

They keep moving.

Okay, you just took

a screenshot.

Trying to get

this voicemail.

Um... Let's just move you

here. Thanks.

[ON VOICEMAIL]

Hey, it's Steve Lucas.

So, Warren,

I finally heard back

from Leslie

at Simon and Schuster.

Sorry to say

she passed on the pitch.

They're just not looking

for Watergate stuff right now.

"Watergate stuff?"

It's g*dd*mn history.

-This is monumental history.

-Sorry, honey.

I was assistant chief counsel to

the Senate committee, Cynthia.

We exposed the crimes

of a sitting president.

Are you telling me

that that story

is not relevant today?

I'm not. No.

Worked hand in glove

with the great Sam Ervin.

On the Zoom,

that Leslie character

didn't even know who he was.

Kept calling him Julius Erving.

God.

[SIGHS]

When did I fall off

the edge of the earth?

[CHUCKLES]



[CELL PHONE DIALS]

-[CELL PHONE CHIMES]

-[YAWNS]

FaceTime? For real, Dad?

Well, you don't return

a g*dd*mn voicemail.

Oh, God. Yeah.

Glad to see you're alive.

Somewhat.

Is it, um,

morning or afternoon?

Try again.

-That explains the darkness.

-Sammi, what are you doing?

Are you singing at all?

Open mic nights. Anything?

I-- I've been writing,

mostly, but, ugh...

I've gotta go, Dad.

I'm starting to feel sick

from whatever I did last night.

Okay, okay.

Well, come over tomorrow.

I'll get Chinese from next door.

You love

the boiled squid, right?

Oh, God.

[GAGGING]

STAN:

Such a delicate flower.



[SIGHS]

[DISTANT THUD]

Oh, come on, Mr. Prostate.

Come on.

[INCONSISTENT TRICKLING

OF URINE]

-[CELL PHONE RINGING]

-[GRUNTING]

-Oh, Christ on a bike.

-[CELL PHONE THUDS]

[GRUNTS]

BPSP,

Officer Olszewski speaking.

MAN [OH PHONE]: Hey. Yeah. Um, uh,

we live across from the Rand house.

228 Lawrence.

My wife said she just saw

some guy hopped a side gate.

I don't know, you might want

to go check that out.

On my way, sir.

Mother of a*s.

-[ZIPPER ZIPS]

-[GRUNTS]



[ON VOICEMAIL] Warren Rand.

I'm not available right now.

sh*t.

[DISTANT THUMP]

Oh, f*ck a duck.

-[CLATTER]

-[GASPS]

-[WARREN SNORING]

-CYNTHIA: Warren.

[BARKING]

There's someone in the house.

Warren.

[DOG BARKING]

[GRUNTS] Oh!

[GASPS]

Man, do I have to pee.



-Get out!

-[GROANS]

Get out!

I have a g*n.

-BPSP. BPSP.

-BPSP? What are you saying?

Brooklyn private

security patrol.

The alarm company?

No. Private security. Ex-cops.

You pay for it monthly.

Oh, right.

God, I forgot.

We signed up for that,

like, three years ago.

It's on auto pay,

so I don't...

Why didn't you

announce yourself?

I was about to when you--

-You had an intruder, ma'am.

-I know.

I don't walk around

with a lamp all night.

He fled, but I need

to check the house.

Can you wait here

with the dog, please?

Anything in there?

-No.

-Oh. Okay.

So, what do you think

happened?

You think he came in

through that window?

Ma'am, can you please

wait there?

Could you

take your shoes off?

-What?

-We're a shoes-off household.

[SIGHS]

Okay. Yeah, sure. Sorry.

Oh, my God, and I just

realized something.

The alarm didn't go off.

-Not set.

-Not even set.

My husband always sets the

alarm. Always. He never forgets.

-He forgot.

-He did.

Yes, he did. And I didn't

even think to check.

You know how when

you're not in the habit

of doing something

every day?

-Yeah.

-I mean, brushing your teeth?

You're not going to forget that.

But setting an alarm is...

Wow. You know,

they say that you feel violated

when you get robbed?

I think I feel that way,

but it's all so recent.

I haven't had a chance

to process it.

-Is this your room?

-Yeah.

Is he usually such

a sound sleeper?

Yes.

He's older than me.

Than most people.

Ma'am, this is

very unprofessional,

but I need to urinate

immediately.

May I use your bathroom,

please? Thank you.

Of course. The powder room

is right downstairs.

Yep.



[LOUD BANGS ON DOOR]

Hey,

I just remembered something.

A young guy rang our doorbell,

like, a week ago,

raising money for

a school basketball team,

but it sounded kind of fake.

He kept forgetting

the name of the school.

Could that have been

him casing us?

Do you have a video?

A video?

Did I take a video of him?

That would be weird.

I meant,

do you have a doorbell camera?

Oh, no.

Everybody has those now.

Would that have taken a video?

How does that work, exactly?

Ma'am, I'm terribly sorry.

I've been having

some difficulty lately.

-Would you mind very much not...

-Not what?

-Speaking.

-Oh, sorry.

Of course.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

-Have you seen a urologist?

-Not yet.

I'm a urologist,

that's what I do.

I'm at Riverview in Manhattan.

Call the office tomorrow.

-I'll get you in right away.

-Okay.

Doctor Cynthia Rand. But don't

go through the main desk.

As for my personal scheduler,

Yolanda,

-she can be a little girl.

-Ma'am.

Sorry.

I'm gonna put my card

in your shoe.

[INCONSISTENT TRICKLING

OF URINE]

[g*n CLICKS]

Oh, God.

Oh! Lieutenant Murphy.

All's well

on deck tonight, sir.

She's like a lake.

Great. Okay. Um,

if everything's good, then...

-Yeah. So, I'll send my report.

-Great. That's fine. Fine.

You know,

don't get your hopes up.

No, I get--

Yep, yep. Got it.

I understood. Thank you.

Thank you so much.

Good night.



[SNIFFLES]

CASHIER: And the receipt is in your

bag, sir. Have a nice day.

Hey, copper. The only register

open, so you can't avoid me.

-How you doing?

-You know, just crushing it.

How about you?

How's the crime fighting going?

Lady beat the sh*t out of me

with a lamp,

but otherwise, fine.

Look, CJ. I'm really sorry.

I know I said

I would call you after...

-We f*cked? Oops.

-Come on. Hey.

Oh. Come on.

It's okay.

Just missed you as well.

Hey, are you down for a little,

uh, morning sext?

You wanna sext with me?

Seriously?

Yeah. Why not?

I have a break at 8:30.

I mean, you were just

going to go home

and jerk off anyhow,

right? To me?

-Sure. Now.

-Well, then that's that.

What do you want with me,

anyhow?

I don't know. You got

this hot old guy thing going,

and it turns me on.

And the big p*stol?

Yes, please.

8:30.

You're the boss.



Sharp six UroMax dilator,

please. Thank you.

I need some suction,

Javier.

I heard you were robbed

last night, Doctor Rand.

Not a big deal.

No one was hurt.

Nothing even stolen.

I need a sponge, please.



I gotta see a man

about a horse.

[BARKING]

It's me, sh*t-for-brains.

What were you expecting?

Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo.

Oh, my little blue buddies.

-[PILLS CLATTER]

-[GULPS]

So, did Warren

scare him off?

Stop asking, please.

STAN: All right,

now you own half a cinder block.

It'll make a nice weekend

getaway. Come on, we gotta go.

Well done, folks.

Thank you.

8:15? sh*t!

I have a meeting.



Okay, okay.

[GRUNTS]

Okay.

[CHATTERS INDISTINCTLY]

-Is he on?

-He's on.

Hi. Hi. Hi, Doug.

-Cynthia.

-Hey, there.

Hey. Look at you.

A sight for sore eyes.

-How you been?

-Good. Good.

I, uh-- Sorry.

I'm just disheveled.

I just got out of surgery.

Oh. Well, you look beautiful,

even in scrubs.

Yeah, especially in scrubs.

They augment.

Oh. Okay.

What's up? What's going on?

Um, Doug, you remember

my husband, Warren?

Yeah, the great Warren Rand.

Of course.

At the moment,

he's possibly entering

a phase

of mild cognitive decline,

so I thought I'd reach out

to you, expert of experts,

to get a sense of what

exactly is going on.

-How old is he now?

Ooh, Jesus. Heh.

He's in great health.

You mean

other than the dementia?

Dementia? Whoa. That's a big

word to throw around.

I haven't even told you

the specifics of...

Memory loss?

Well, a little, yeah,

but I have that too.

Ha. This morning,

I couldn't remember the name

of one of

the Charlie's Angels.

-The one Kate Jackson played.

-There you go.

-Special agent, uh...?

-Yeah. Couldn't help you.

So, what else would you consider

a sign of, um...

dementia?

Easily agitated.

Well, he's always been a feisty

guy, but maybe more now. Yeah.

-Disoriented at times.

-Yes.

Actually, last night...

Sabrina Duncan.

Special agent Sabrina Duncan.

That would have bothered me

all day.

[STAN PLAYING UKELELE]

STAN:

...we do, baby, without us

What would we do, baby

Without us

And there ain't no nothing

We can't help

Each other through

What would we do, baby

Without us

Oh, come on.

Flake.

Sha-la-la--

Oh, f*ck it.

Move.

[SIGHS]

[CELL PHONE BUTTONS CLACK]

Hello, Elyse.

Hmm.

[SNIFFLES, HUMS]

Get lost.

So just lay it out for me,

Doug. Okay?

What do the next five years

of my life look like?

At some point, he will need

full time care

at home or a facility.

No. At home. I mean,

the man stays in his home.

Yeah, that may or may not be

the best way to go.

At a facility,

he can socialize,

do the different activities.

[GROANS]

You can get on

with your life.

I don't want to

get on with my life.

My God, he's my husband.

You seem so shocked at this.

You didn't expect this at all?

No, no. The man was a lion

when I met him.

He ran five miles a day.

He didn't seem like

the dementia type.

Still with

the big age difference,

you didn't think

in 20, 30 years...

I wasn't doing the math!

[CLATTERS]

[MESSAGE CHIMES ON PHONE]

-[GRUNTING]

-[MESSAGE CHIMES ON PHONE]

Oh, boy...

[MESSAGES CONTINUE CHIMING]

Mm-hm.

[GROANS]



CYNTHIA:

Warren?

Warren, honey, where are you?

In my study.

-Oh.

-Oh, hello, darling.

-How was it?

-Listen to me.

You're going to write your book

immediately.

Screw the big publishers.

They just do celebrity crap

anyway.

I've told you,

I'm not self-publishing.

It's demeaning.

Don't worry about that part.

You just need

to start working.

Writing every day.

I'm even going to get you

a research assistant.

I mean, I am-- I did.

I already did. Um...

This is Henry.

Brilliant, third year

PhD student of American...

-History.

-History.

Mr. Rand,

it's such an honor.

I'm actually writing

my doctoral thesis right now

on the Nixon administration.

-Yeah, yeah, yeah. Later.

-Can I just--

-Later. Later.

---tell him about the thesis?

What's gotten into you?

I love you so much,

Warren. So much.

Please. Please trust me.

You just have to get

that fantastic mind of yours

working again

and write the book.

Now, write the book.

I'm begging you.

I beg you. I beg you.

Doesn't matter

how good you are,

you got to be inside the clubs,

playing live

six, seven nights a week...

-Stop eating so fast.

-...playing your own stuff.

Singing backup.

Watching, learning.

Can you at least swallow?

You're 45 minutes late.

I gotta get to work.

I did an open mic

a few weeks ago.

Oh, well,

why didn't you say so?

Oh, because

it was degrading, Dad.

The club owner was putting off

this vibe the whole time.

Like you don't exist anymore.

b*tch, we own you now.

And I so badly wanted to say

you will never own me, as*h*le.

But I couldn't say that.

Because he didn't say

the first part?

No, because

I really wanted the spot.

And I had to grovel to

some slimy f*ck to get it.

Oh, well, why didn't you

just show him

your golden ticket

to the stars?

Why do you have to diminish me?

Well, stop saying stupid sh*t

and I won't diminish you.

Come on, Sammi. All of

these guys are slimy f*ck.

That is a given.

You are so g*dd*mn good.

Show them!

Show them.

What are you so scared of?

[SCOFFS]

What is this?

STAN: Nothing you

would be interested in

unless you get high

from peeing fast.

Which at this point,

I think I might.

Okay. Seriously, Dad.

Why are you taking these?

-My prostate is enlarged.

-From what?

From eating pastrami.

How the hell should I know?

I got the name of a urologist.

I'll go when I got time.

You need to make time.

Prostate cancer

is very dangerous.

I'm aware that cancer

is dangerous, thank you.

And maybe

before you lecture me,

you start taking care

of yourself, huh?

Ugh!

I am not on drugs, Dad.

I do drugs.

There's a difference.

[SCOFFS]

I knew this was

such a stupid idea.

No. Wait, wait, whoa! Hey, wait.

Where are you going?

And I'm not f*cking scared.

I don't know why

you say those things to me.

Take your dog.

[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]

f*ck!



WOMAN:

Mr. Olszewski?

I gotta tell you, I'm impressed.

Nurse takes my fluids.

15 minutes later,

you're looking at the results.

It's a nifty operation

you got here.

So, uh, these tests,

would they say if I had one?

I mean, would they tell you

if it was like a can--?

-What?

-What?

Your birthday.

-Uh, what about it?

-It's same as mine.

December 24th.

Same year too.

Which we will not mention,

-but wow.

-Okay.

This is so crazy.

Hey,

when you were a kid,

did you get cheated

out of Christmas presents

because your birthday

was so close?

One year I got a Barbie

Dreamhouse for both, combined.

That was it.

-Do I have cancer?

-Oh, sorry. Uh...

These tests can't tell me that.

But let's not jump ahead.

I'll examine you first,

and then

we'll talk about everything

in my office.

Is that normal? I mean,

for a female doctor to--

Male gynecologists

treat women right?

-You go to a male gynecologist?

-No.

Right here.



Hey, you know

what it's called

when two people are born

on the same day?

Connascence. Fun fact.

This story, your discovery

of Nixon's taping system.

Hugely important addition

to the historical record.

So cool that you finally

decided to write a book.

I've never had the time.

Now, nothing but.

Okay. I'm ready.

Let's talk about the

monumental events of June 1973.

Uh, June 23rd.

John Dean testifies

in front of your committee

implicating

Haldeman, Mitchell,

and, of course, Nixon

in a conspiracy

to obstruct justice.

Oh, it was beautiful,

as was Dean's wife.

Very attractive woman.

[CHUCKLES]

[CLEARS THROAT]

Right. And then

a couple weeks later,

Nixon's attorney,

Fred Buzhardt,

sends a letter

to your committee,

which I printed out for you.

Ah.

So what was

your reaction

to seeing this letter

on that fateful day?

Tell me what came next

in the room where it happened?

Well, this letter

is a cataclysm.

He accuses Dean of perjury,

insists he was outright lying

about what was said

at those Oval Office meetings.

He goes on to provide detailed

accounts of those meetings,

which contradict Dean's version

with quotes.

Uh-huh?

Verbatim quotes

from those mee-- meetings.

Where did these quotes

come from, Henry? Huh?

Did one of Nixon's th*gs

scribble down

every word

like some steno girl?

I think not.

Don't you see?

Buzhardt gives away

the entire game right here.

The meetings were taped,

Henry. There were tapes.

Oh, um--

Where are you going?

To see Sam Ervin at the Capitol.

We have subpoenas to issue.

Okay.

But that's my jacket, actually.

[KEYBOARD KEYS CLACKING]

CYNTHIA: Okay. You have a pretty

angry prostatitis going on,

bacterial infection.

Maybe it's the whole story,

maybe not.

Won't know until it's gone.

I'm giving you

a super duper antibiotic.

Start tonight please.

-Stay on the Flomax.

-Okay.

And come back

and see me in a month.

Okay, but say I'm feeling

great in a month.

Do I have to come back?

Do you have to come back?

Yeah. I mean...

Say I'm peeing gangbusters,

like I'm 16 again,

-like: shee-ooo!

-[BOTH CHUCKLE]

That's not going to happen.

And yes, you have to come back.

Let's do this right,

Mister Ols-uh...

-Zuski?

-Olszewski.

Yeah. See, the thing is,

is that my insurance

doesn't really travel

to Fancy Town, you know?

I was going

to pay cash today,

but I can't afford

to keep coming back.

-I can't.

-Oh, okay.

Um, let's do

a friends and family rate.

Just the base co-pay.

Does that work?

-What? No. That's like charity.

-Oh, please.

My husband and I

might not be alive right now

if it wasn't for you,

Officer Olshansky.

No, that's Irish.

Yeah. Look,

I appreciate it, but...

Let me help you

with this, Stan, okay?

Let me help you.

-Okay.

-Good.

-Thank you.

-Good.

-I'll see you in a month.

-Yeah.

And, hey, you know,

I work nights.

You got my cell.

So if anything's

got you squirrely.

Strange noise,

drunk kids on motorbikes,

you just sh**t me a text,

I will zip right over

and check it out.

-That's so nice. Thank you.

-It's my job.

[CHUCKLES]

[CHUCKLES]

Hmm.

-Left and a left.

-Yeah.

[CAR ENGINE IDLING, STOPS]

[CAR DOOR CLOSES]

Henry. I thought

you were leaving at 4?

I know, I know.

I just. um--

Mr. Rand, your husband,

he got, uh, confused.

He left the house.

-To go where?

-Washington, um, D.C.

[CHUCKLES]

The nation's capital.

-Is he there now?

-No, no. I got him back inside.

I pretended

to be Sam Ervin.

And that worked?

I actually do

a very good impression.

[IMITATING] "Uh, Warren,

let's do our lawyer work in here."

Sorry. Listen,

I think you might need...

But I don't want to say this

the wrong way, but, like--

Like a nurse?

Or not-- not a nurse,

but like an attendant?

You're definitely saying it

the wrong way.

-Sorry.

-It's fine. It's fine.

I know this must be hard

for you, so I'll go.

You can just Venmo me.

We'll figure

something out.

[SIGHS]

[CELL PHONE RINGS]

[ON VOICEMAIL] Hey, it's Sammi.

Don't leave a message. That's lame.

[VOICEMAIL BEEPS]

I guess I'm lame, heh.

Hope you're good, Sam.

I love you.



CYNTHIA: Warren, have you noticed

this beat up car right in front?

Old cutlass.

My secretary at the firm

used to drive one of those,

uh, Melody

something or other.

It's been sitting in front

of our house for two days.

Melinda something or other.

Melinda. That's it. Yeah.

-Don't worry, I'll set the alarm.

-No, I set it.

I set the sh*t out of it.

[CELL PHONE BUTTONS CLACKING]

[MESSAGE CHIMES ON PHONE]

[SCOFFS]

Squarely?

Oh, God. Squirty?

Oh. That's worse.

What the hell?

So...

So, what do you think?

Someone abandoned their car

in front of my house?

That would really

creep me out.

It's like finding a dead body

or something.

-He's an Uber driver.

-How do you know?

Receipt from a rideshare place

on the seat.

He leaves his regular car here,

takes a bus down to Bay Ridge.

Rent an Escalade

or whatever.

Why does he park here?

Well, if he's working

a couple of days straight,

he knows that around here,

he's less likely to get

a ticket or get jacked.

People drive Ubers

for two days straight?

Yeah, if they got another job,

the other five, sure.

It's rough out there.

Wow. Now I feel bad

for calling you.

No. No, it's definitely

worth checking out.

That's why they pay me

the big bucks.

[CHUCKLES]

And get that

doorbell camera.

Oh, right. Yeah.

Sorry. How do I even--

Who installs those?

Me. I'll text you

which one to get.

You let me know when it comes

and I'll hook her up.

Really? Thanks.

Yeah. You'll be in good shape

with that. Plus a loud dog.

Oh, yeah. Dodger. Mm.

He's the best.

Dodger.

-Nice name.

-Thank you. Thank you.

-Do you have a dog?

-Me?

-Uh, sort of, I guess.

-Sort of?

Yeah. My kid rescued a mutt,

left it with me one day.

Won't take it back,

so I guess I have a dog.

Well, it's good that you do.

It's important.

Whenever I'm sad or upset,

Dodger ambles over

and he plops down in my lap

and soothes me.

He really, really soothes me.

-Does yours?

-Not at all.

He paces. Whines.

Pretty sure he'd smoke

cigarettes if he could.

Oh, poor thing.

Was he abused?

I certainly hope so.

Otherwise, he's got

no excuse for that sh*t.

-[LAUGHS]

-Oh, watch out.

Oh.

Anyway, so I'm freezing.

-Yeah, go, go. Go inside.

-Yes, I will.

Thank you, Officer.

You're very good at your job.

Hey, right back

at you, Doc.

You take care of me,

I'll take care of you, huh?

Oh, sounds like

a win-win relationship.

My first ever.

[CHUCKLES]

-Good night.

-Good night.

[WHISTLING]

CYNTHIA: So, Pramila,

it's the basic stuff

I'm sure

you've done before.

Getting him his meals

and taking him for walks.

Okay.

Also, um, I don't really

want him driving anymore.

So, you know, taking him to

the doctor and running errands.

Okay.

And also, this is a little

off the beaten trail.

I need you to pretend

you're a PhD student

in American history.

Okay.

You're to help him

write a book

about the 1973

Senate Watergate hearings.

Okay.

He's not delusional or anything.

I mean, he was there.

Assistant Chief Counsel.

Taught at two law schools.

He was a big deal.

I Googled him. Yeah.

And I get it.

Right now,

we're supporting

the transition

that he's going through.

Yes. That's...

Yes.

Funny story,

I once took care of a woman

and had to pretend

I was her husband.

And her husband was alive

and in the room quite a bit.

So you can imagine.

I can't at all. No.



Yeah. Doorbell camera.

[MESSAGE CHIMES]

Oh.

[MESSAGE CHIMES]

[KEYBOARD KEYS CLACKING]

-[MESSAGE CHIMES]

-[EXHALES]



[CHUCKLES]

[LAUGHS]

WARREN:

Cyn? Coming up?

-You're missing John Oliver.

-I'll be right up.

CYNTHIA:

So you're a night shift guy.

I had to do that for a year

when I was a resident.

-You like it?

-STAN: I do.

Sometimes I go

two, three days

without talking

to another human.

That's special.

CYNTHIA:

Hmm.

I never had

that luxury in the E.R.

When someone walks in

with a knife in their neck,

you pretty much have

to have a conversation.

STAN:

Oh, one sided, I'm guessing.

WARREN:

Cynthia, what's taking so long?

I'm making tea.

[SPOON CLANKS]

WARREN:

I'll have a cup too.

The wind

It's cold and absurd

But, man, you gave her

Your word

And meanwhile

The house is empty

CYNTHIA:

Wow. What a talent.

STAN: Yeah,

she blew the roof off that place.

But they gave first prize

to some dipshit baton twirler.

-I'm still pissed.

-CYNTHIA: No, seriously, Stan.

-She's unique. So gorgeous.

-STAN: Like her mom.

Luckily, I didn't pollute

the gene pool too much.

CYNTHIA: She want to

sing professionally?

STAN:

Yeah, but nothing yet.

-Blames the world. Mostly me.

-[APPLAUSE]

CYNTHIA: I'm around a lot

of young people at work.

-They can be touchy.

-STAN: Thank you.

They think all standard

bullshit in life

is an insult

to them personally.

CYNTHIA: My parents

accepted no finger pointing.

If I failed at something,

it was on me.

Luckily, I never did.

STAN:

Well, I failed all the time

and I didn't get

to point sh*t.

Life's tough, kids.

Suck it up.

CYNTHIA: Geez,

I'm glad no one else is reading this.

A mob of 20 somethings would

be pounding down our door.

STAN: Waving torches and demanding

to charge their cell phones.



CYNTHIA:

So you said Sammi blames you?

For what, if I may ask?

sh*t.

Oh, God.

-Give me some bubbles.

-WARREN: Cynthia.

-Uh, right up.

-[SPOON CLANKING]

Oh.

[MESSAGE CHIMES]

[SIGHS]

[CHUCKLES]

WARREN: Lorna Doone with my

tea, please.

Sorry.

I'm sorry,

we can't take Canadian money.

Hey, can I talk to you

for a second?

[SIGHS]

Order something.

Yeah. Give me a half-caf

Grande venti coffiato.

So I showed your tape

to this lady last night.

Really cool, educated lady.

She was blown away.

-Was she an agent? A booker?

-Urologist.

But her reaction

got me jazzed

so I started

asking around at work,

and I found this guy

who was a drummer on the side,

and he gave me

the name of three clubs

that he says

are well-run, quality owners.

No bullshit

or less bullshit. Anyway...

Come on, kid. Push.

It's out there.

And room for cream

on the bottom.

Shame about that first young

fellow was helping me write.

Uh, emergency neck surgery?

Sounds like no fun.

-Oh, geez. Ouch.

-You didn't know?

I thought you were both

in the same PhD program?

Um, we are.

But we don't have a lot of

classes together. Just, uh, gym.

Uh, we were looking

at the Buzhardt letter.

We can't seem to find it

right now.

I'm drowning

in all this crap here.

[MUTTERS]

We exposed the crimes

of a sitting president.

What the hell is this?

Gas bill.

What do we need that for?



-Warren?

-WARREN: Oh, come on.

-What is this picture?

-Huh?

Oh, that's a 59 Millrose Games,

Madison Square Garden.

Yours truly,

second from the left.

-Wow. Amazing.

-Mm.

-Do you remember it well?

-I can still smell that place.

Smelled like

elephant sh*t.

The circus was in town

at the garden.

Tell me what else you remember.

I'd never run

on a wooden track before.

Oh, the sound of it. Wow.

Like explosions.

Twelve of us

striking those boards...

Tug-tug-tug-tug-tug-tug-tug.

Like tribal drum music.

And the final 200--

that drumbeat turned

into a g*dd*mn frenzy.

-What were you feeling?

-Pain.

[LAUGHS]

g*dd*mn agony.

Legs cramping, lungs burning.

Well, that's the whole

raison d'etre

of distance racing, you see.

Deplete the body...

and then see what you can do

on sheer will.

So, what happened?

STAN:

Got any kids?

CYNTHIA:

As in sprung from my loins?

No, but I do have

a stepdaughter named Rosemary.

STAN:

Are you close?

CYNTHIA: Eh,

it's been a tricky relationship.

I'm only 12 years older.

Plus, she hates my guts.

STAN:

For marrying Daddy?

CYNTHIA:

For marrying Daddy,

for moving into

her childhood home.

Which was not my choice,

by the way.

It was supposed to be

only a few months

while we house hunted.

It's now been 300 months.

As long as we're on

the messy stuff...

Want to tell me

about your ex-wife?

STAN: Uh, moody. Paranoid.

Poorly suited to relationships.

Same as me. That means

we couldn't make it work.

CYNTHIA:

Still in touch with her?

STAN:

Only by voodoo doll.

[LAUGHS]

A girl can see

From Brooklyn Heights

What a crazy pair!

But they're cousins

Identical cousins

All the way

-CYNTHIA: Remember now?

-STAN: Vaguely.

She played identical twins,

right?

CYNTHIA:

Cousins. Identical cousins.

Good God, man,

listen to the lyrics.

STAN: Different as night and day.

Got it.

CYNTHIA: No. You have to understand,

this show rocked my world.

I was raised to be like Kathy.

Very proper and conventional.

But inside, I felt like Patti.

Just a kook, you know?

STAN:

So, they ever make out?

CYNTHIA:

Tooter Turtle?

STAN: Tooter was a maniac.

Always wanted to do dangerous sh*t.

Be a gladiator, a paratrooper,

a bullfighter.

So he'd go to his friend,

Mr. Wizard, and say,

"Make me a bullfighter."

Mr. Wizard would do

a magic chant

and bam,

Tooter's a bullfighter.

He's in the ring.

He's got the whole outfit.

Doing great. Crowd loves him.

But then,

everything starts unraveling.

He's about to get the sh*t

kicked out of him.

He screams,

"Help me, Mr. Wizard!

I don't want to be

a bullfighter."

So Mr. Wizard

does another chant:

"Drizzle, drazzle,

druzzle, drone,

time for this one

to come home."

And he yanks Tooter

out of trouble

at the last possible second.

The same thing, every episode.

Stupid decision turns to sh*t,

saved by Mr. Wizard.

Exactly like my own life.

Except no Mr. Wizard.

Did you ever want to have

your own kids? You ever tried?

CYNTHIA: Ugh, deep down,

I never wanted children.

But I thought that was

a shameful character flaw

-I had to hide from the world.

-STAN: I got a few of those.

CYNTHIA: So I did get pregnant,

basically to please my mother.

But then I miscarried

and needed

an emergency hysterectomy.

-STAN: So it all worked out.

-Kind of. Yeah. [CHUCKLES]

Sammi was 12

when the marriage blew up.

It was a rough time.

I went west,

I didn't see her for two years.

-CYNTHIA: Two years?

-I know. I f*cked up.

You didn't need to use

all caps.

CYNTHIA:

Sorry.

So have you two talked about it

since then?

-STAN: No.

-No?

STAN:

Stop with the caps, please.

CYNTHIA:

Sorry.

-STAN: What do you mean, ever?

-Yeah.

-STAN: Scotch. Airplane glue.

-CYNTHIA: Valium.

-STAN: Quaaludes.

-CYNTHIA: Wellbutrin.

-White wine. Klonopin.

-STAN: Xanax.

-CYNTHIA: Lexapro. Zoloft.

-Prozac.

STAN:

Truckloads of weed.

[GRUNTS]

STAN:

Lately, a lot of Advil.

-Who was your favorite Beatle?

-STAN: Pete Best.

-Oh, my God.

-Pathetic, huh?

You're hot.

You're looking at one angry,

self-destructive misfit

right there.

Well, you rocked

angry

and self-destructive,

let me tell you. Wow.

[BLOWS NOSE]

-Send me yours.

-What? My mug shot? Heh.

Whatever, the high school

picture or something.

-Fair is fair.

-No, it's not fair at all.

I'm sorry, but I was not what

you would call a pretty girl.

Well, you're pretty now,

so you must have been somewhat.

Well, whatever I had then

was totally mismanaged.

You remember that song, um...

Voulez vous coucher

avec moi ce soir,

Lady marmalade?

I used to stand

in front of the mirror

and do the bump with myself.

That was a Saturday night.

Still waiting on that photo.

All right.

Nice knowing you.

[CELL PHONE CHIMES]

-Did it come through?

-Yes.

Okay. This is humiliating.

I'm hanging up.

Sorry. Wow.

You look... very smart.

-Hanging up.

-No, no, no, no, no.

It... Look, I definitely

would have sought you out.

What, to do your homework?

I didn't give a f*ck

about that.

What then, to date?

You were into geeky smart girls,

like a fetish?

There was one.

Rhonda Melnick,

cantor's daughter,

struggled with her weight.

We had a nice thing

for a while.

Talk on the phone after

her parents had gone to sleep

about all kinds of sh*t.

Books, movies.

I remember we both loved

Raymond Carver.

She was the first person

to ever call me intelligent.

You're very intelligent,

Stanley.

Hey, you're the second.

Thanks, Cynthia.

Coming from you,

that means a lot.

So how did the thing

with the cantor's daughter

finally end?

Abruptly.

One day, her dad walked in on us

in his study.

Having sex?

Heh. The variety

usually referred to

with a two digit number,

draped in his prayer shawl.

Oh, my God.

[LAUGHS]

Heh. That was a time

when I really could have

used Mr. Wizard.



Okay, wait. This thing is

instead of our old doorbell?

Are you very attached

to your doorbell?

I hated it, actually.

WARREN:

How goes it?

Uh, pretty much done,

Mr. Rand.

WARREN: Oh, remind me your

name, please, son?

Olszewski. Stan Olszewski.

Oh.

How many Polacks does it take

to screw in a light bulb?

A Polack joke?

Three. One to hold the bulb

and two to turn the ladder.

-I love that.

-[LAUGHS] He knows.

What do we owe you for your

fine service, Mr. Olszewski?

Oh, no. No. Nothing, sir.

It's good to do a little work

in the fresh air.

Well, then, Cynthia,

sounds like we need to buy

this man a steak dinner.

-How's Thursday night?

-STAN: No, no, no.

You know,

you don't have to do that.

No, indeed we do.

And bring the missus.

-Not married.

-Well, then bring your best girl.

God knows you don't want to

stare at the two of us

-the whole time.

-[CHUCKLES]

Let's make a night of it.

-Okay.

-Okay?



[STAN READING ONSCREEN TEXT]

CYNTHIA: Yes.

I've been on it for two hours.

This thing is addictive.

Watched a family on bikes

screaming at each other.

Little girl threw her helmet.

Wildly entertaining.

STAN: And you can

rewatch at any time.

CYNTHIA: Hey, are you sure you're

okay doing that dinner Thursday?

I know Warren

put you on the spot.

STAN: Big old steak?

Hell yes, I'm okay.

[MESSAGES CHIMING]

[DEVICE PINGS]



[GASPS]

Oh, my!

[SIGHS]



-There was a name I gave him?

-Oh, yeah.

No, you did, you did. Yeah.

Just a little...

-Just a little bit late.

-I need the address.

No. It's fine.

STAN:

Hey.

So sorry we're late.

Warren, Cynthia,

this is C.J.

Hi. It's so nice

to meet you both.

Hi, C.J.

What was the name?

Seejay? Indian?

No. Like C.J., the letters.

The initials.

Ah. Oh, like Y.A. Tittle.

I don't know

what you just said.

New York Giants,

great quarterback.

-Oh.

-He knows.

Yes. Still random.

Sit, sit.

How about we get

some drinks going?

-I feel like we're behind.

-Waiter.



[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]

[ALL LAUGHING]

Bottom line,

handcuffed to a drainpipe

is not the way that I wanted

to lose my virginity.

No. Why would you?

[LAUGHS]

My first time was in

a Newport News whorehouse.

And the prost*tute told me

I reminded her of her grandson.

[LAUGHING]

STAN: That's a home run right there.

All right, C.J.?

Um, well, I lost mine at 15

to my 13-year-old cousin. Mm.

And as you might imagine,

it was magical, heh.

-[LAUGHS]

-[GROANS]

Whoa. Oh. [LAUGHING]

Cynthia?

Uh...

Okay. I was 22.

I was with my boyfriend,

a med school classmate

in his dorm room.

You really must learn

to embellish, Cynthia.

-It's what happened.

-WARREN: Okay.

He lit a candle. That help?

Well, kids,

if you'll excuse me,

I have to use

the little boys room.

Such is my curse

these days. Excuse me.

[CLICKS TONGUE]

So f*cking sexy.

Rugged. A man's man.

Um, that's a mermaid.

Well, actually,

I identify as a mermaid.

Okay, fine.

-Oh. Oh, you're still waiting.

-Yeah.

I was going

to use this one,

but a tiny female

pulled rank.

Oh. Usually single toilets

are for anybody these days.

Well, I guess some places still

adhere to the traditional belief

that men are disgusting.

[CHUCKLES]

-So, C.J., she seems great.

-Yeah.

Yeah. Fun, lively

and very mature,

considering her brief number

of years on this earth.

-Which is what? Thirty years.

-Nearly.

[LAUGHS]

Oh, still in her 20s.

Yeah, you know what I say.

So what? So... So what?

Oh. Yeah, honestly,

the main thing.

I'm just happy to find out

you're not lonely after all.

Lonely? No.

I mean, you said you were lonely

in a text, like a week or two.

Hey, whatever.

Point is, you're not lonely.

And that is fantastic.

You two are speaking

very loudly.

Go on.

Hey, this is just like

the night we met, remember?

Stop speaking, please.

Eventually, we pieced together

all the evidence

and made an irrefutable case

that Nixon had violated

his oath of office

and the trust of a nation.

-Well, then what happened?

-He resigned.

No f*cking way.

-Can I just say one thing?

-STAN: Nope.

I find it very odd

that after having shared

many personal things...

Nope, nope. Nope!

...with each other

over the past few weeks,

like my menopause issues,

I would have hoped

we'd developed

a degree of trust

and mutuality.

And yet somehow you never

thought to mention--

Stop talking.

--that you have

a tattooed baby girlfriend!

Oh, sh*t.

She's not my girlfriend.

We're just having a good time.

It's not a serious...

Oh, you might want

to tell her that.

Tell her what? You think

she wants to get married?

You think she wants

to be wiping oatmeal

out of my beard

in 20 years?

She's not doing the math.

Can I please take

a g*dd*mn whiz?

Who's stopping you?

[GRUNTS]

[EXHALES]

-You know what I think?

-Uh-huh.

I think

you're not really mad at me.

I think you're mad at yourself.

Oh, fascinating,

thank you, Dr. Young.

Because when you were

her age,

you had the exact same

daddy issues.

Yes, I know what you meant.

Totally different situation.

But while we're on the subject

of unconscious motivation,

maybe you should examine why

you completely avoided

the CJ topic with me.

Think about that

and get back to me.

Now go resume your four-hour

attempt to urinate.

That is

a very unprofessional comment.

Too bad,

I'm off the clock.

We were wild and young

And restless

Too cute, too stylish

But...

You want me bad

I know you do

Don't go, stay close

I'm feelin' so powerful

Right now

The sky...

[PHONE RINGING]

YOLANDA: Doctora,

Mr. Olszewski on line one.

-Really?

-Yes. You want to take it?

Uh... Sure.

-Hello?

-STAN: So?

Okay.

For starters,

I had too much to drink.

That needs to be factored in

because honestly,

I think it's fine.

You can date

whoever the hell you--

I was just taken aback

by her youngness.

Just called

for my lab results.

Told you to call today.

I did.

YOLANDA:

I have it right here. Need it?

Oh, Yolanda, heh.

Still on the line?

No, thanks, I got it.

Okay. Uh, PSA. Six. Better.

Um, not great, but better.

Stay the course.

Thank you.

[MUTTERING]

Oh, my God.



[SIGHS]

[STAN READING ONSCREEN TEXT]

[WHIRRING]

I'm the new

Newest little fish

In the big blue sea

Everybody's talking

And they're looking at me

Saying, what you gonna do

With your life?

You know, you gotta do it soon

And you gotta do it right

Well, I get what they want

I understand

You hate it.

Do you think it's corny?

No, no, no, no, no,

it's cool.

I just wonder,

maybe you might try

with just

a little bit more tempo.

Give it kind of like a groove.

Almost like a, like a...

Boom.

Boom, boom. Boom.

Really?

-Let me try it higher.

-Try it, try it, try it.

Yeah.

I'm the newest little fish

In the big blue sea

Everybody's talking

and they're looking at me

Saying, what you gonna do

With your life?

You know, you gotta do it soon

And you gotta do it right

Well, I get

What they want--

Uh, no. Ooh.

Well, I get it I got it

I understand

You can't screw up

'Cause you got one chance

Supposed to get a job

And then follow the plan

But then how in the heck

Could I be who I am

From the chorus.

And I'ma be all right

I'ma be okay

I'm gonna make it happen

Either way

So it doesn't really matter

What you think or say

I'm a B-E-L-I-E-V-A

Oh-oh, whoo-ooh

Well?

Yeah. Well, it's great.

It's weird, but in a good way.

Like you.

It's you. It's great.

Oh, I'm f*cking terrified.

But, you know, I'm gonna make

a demo and send it around and...

Yeah. Okay.

sh*t, I gotta go.

Thanks, Daddy.

Hey, Sam.

Can I talk to you for a second?

What?

Yeah. It's not a big deal

or anything.

You know, I just wanted

to say that, um...

What? I gotta go.

I made a big mistake, Sammy.

Going to Colorado.

I mean, I should have

stayed here for you,

no matter what else was.

But, you know, I gave into

my own stupid, hurt feelings,

and I hurt you in the process.

I mean, you're the only person

in the world.

Oh, f*ck.

I'm sorry. Uh... I love you.

It's a great song.

[FOOTSTEPS RECEDING]



[GLASSES CLINKING]

-Cynthia.

-Rosemary.

-Right here.

-Oh! I didn't see you there.

Where's the turkey baster?

When I was a kid,

it was always in this drawer.

Oh, sh**t.

I don't think we have one.

Don't worry, it's fine.

Luckily, I packed one.

Yeah. Yes, yes, yes,

yes, yes, yes, yes.

Green Bay

is about to score, so.

I had no idea

you were a Packers fan.

Well I'm not.

I'm a fan of making

the 40-point over,

so it's so close.

Listen, you can watch in

Warren's study if you wanted to.

Oh, yeah. No. That's okay.

Rosemary wants me to be here

so I can, you know, socialize.

God damn,

you catch that ball!

[GRUNTS]

Grandpa,

want to play checkers?

Sure I do.

-How do you play?

-Mom?

Grandpa forgot

how to play checkers.

Maxwell.

Grandpa didn't forget.

He's just a little tired

right now.

Maybe Grandma Cynthia

wants to play.

Oh, no.

Come on, come on, come on, come

on, come on, come on, come on.

Will you join

your children, please?

Yes, yes. Ahem.

Oh, it's so good

to see you, Popsie.

We're moving to Cleveland soon

for Rob's new job, remember?

-We'll be closer.

-I want to stay in Phoenix.

Howell,

Cleveland's beautiful.

Remember we looked at

the picture of the big lake?

-I hate lakes.

-Nobody hates lakes.

-Ah!

-Dad.

Sorry, sorry, sorry.

Last second field goal.

It-- f*ck me

with a crowbar.

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

Oh, boy, oh, boy,

Cynthia.

My dad has slid so far

since last time.

-He has.

-It's like a different person.

I hate not being nearby.

Well, when you guys

are settled in Cleveland,

you're just a quick flight

away, right? [SOBS]

I mean, you can-- Oh.

Are you okay?

We were sitting

in the kitchen.

He asked me, when

is your mother getting here?

He thought she was alive.

Oh. That's hard.

What did you say?

I said 4:30.

You gave him a time?

I know, I guess I got lost

in the fantasy too.

The three of us

were together again.

Okay.

Look, I wanted

to talk to you about

how best to handle

his situation going forward.

Sure. I mean, um, things

are stable at the moment.

I've got Pramila here

every day. He adores her.

I think he should be in Cleveland.

What?

There's a wonderful facility

10 minutes from our new house

called The Arbors.

I went there

for my friend's mother's 90th.

-I loved it. They had a piata.

-Okay, wait a minute.

What are you even saying?

Cleveland.

Cynthia. This makes sense.

As he declines,

he'll need family around.

Don't you agree?

Well, I'd like to think

of myself as family.

You have him

with a stranger all day.

-You just said it yourself.

-I work, I have a job.

Well, that's exactly why

this makes sense.

I can be with him every day

because I don't work

and the boys can visit him

after school.

They're not going to.

-You can fly out on the weekend.

-Rosemary.

We're not going

anywhere right now.

I need to think this through.

I see how things develop.

Of course, this is just

for when the time comes.

Although we do need

to visit the place right away

to get on the waiting list.

So I've arranged a tour

a week from Saturday.

Just so we're ready

when the time comes.

-But wouldn't the time--

-Start saying that!



[ROLLS LIPS]

[CELL PHONE RINGING]

-Hey. What's up?

-SAMMI: Hey.

So I maybe have a gig

at one of those places

that your friend

told you about.

-Baby! That's fantastic.

-Yeah. Maybe. Maybe.

I don't know. I sent the owner

my demo, and he liked it,

and he said he wanted

to meet me and...

Oh, um, can you come down here?

SINGER:

One. Two. Three. Four.

[PLAYING ROCK MUSIC]

Hey!

We used to sing

Now we speak in tongues

We only drink

To wash down the drugs

We were born to melt down

Natural therapy

We were born to melt down

That's just how

We're meant to be

-[LAUGHS] You the daddy.

-I am.

Hi, Daddy.

Your daughter here,

she sings like an Afghani!

Thank you.

I assume that's a compliment.

Hi.

Thursday night, I got

a good crowd for her.

Two sets, 200. Hasan.

Sounds great.

Right, Sam?

There's no stage, no riser.

I got no riser.

Yeah, I think

a lot of clubs don't.

Dad, there should be

a riser.

Not just for proper staging,

but out of respect

for the artist.

I mean, the people

are right there.

-Dad, look.

-Hey.

-Can you get a riser?

-No. Is she gonna do it?

Yes. She'll do it.

Just, uh, put all

the small people up front.

[LAUGHING]

This guy got jokes.

-Sammy. Sammy!

-Hey! Fatherhood, huh?

Life's greatest adventure!

Are you serious?

Are you really going

to walk away from this

over a f*cking riser?

I don't feel comfortable

singing from the floor.

-I can't help it.

-So fight it.

Face your fears.

That's how you get better.

I don't need you

to tell me that.

That's not what I need

from you. You know, you dumped

this emotionally manipulative

bullshit on me.

You're so sorry that you

vanished for two f*cking years.

But you don't mean it.

If you meant it,

you would support me

at least one g*dd*mn time.

What?

When you sabotage yourself,

would you bail

because something rubs up

against your way-too-

sensitive feelings again?

-Yes.

-No, no, no.

I can't support that.

That's what I do.

And look what happens.

Here's where that ends up,

okay?

I'm nowhere. I'm nothing.

You're my father.

At least be that.

[CELL PHONE RINGING]

sh*t!

-[SNIFFLES]

-Yeah. DeShawn.

OFFICER [OVER PHONE]: I'm stretched

thin here brother. For real.

Where the f*ck are you?

Yeah. I'll...

Hang-- Hang on, hang on.

Sammy!



CYNTHIA [CHUCKLES]:

Are you kidding me?

ROSEMARY: What do you want me to say?

Howell has the flu.

Now Maxwell's sneezing.

I can't leave sick children

with just Rob.

Why didn't you tell me sooner?

Rosemary,

we could have rescheduled.

What's the difference?

I've been to The Arbors.

I love it.

You're the one

who has to be satisfied.

[GROANS]

Rosemary.

Honestly, Cynthia,

this is a blessing in disguise.

Seeing it alone will give you

a chance to really--

Okay. Stop, stop!

You've won the most

passive aggressive person

on Earth award. Move on.

[CELL PHONE BEEPS OFF]

God! Kidding me? Ridiculous.

[THUD]

[GRUNTS]

[CELL PHONE RINGING]

What now?

[GRUNTING]

Rosemary's not coming.

Her stupid kids are sick.

And now I'm in Cleveland

and I have to go

to that place by myself

tomorrow.

This is bullshit.

I want my dog.

Pramila took Warren

to the movies.

Just put the mail

in the planter.

Thanks.

[GRUNTS]

God.

[SIGHS]



[ALARM RINGING]

-[GROANING]

-[RINGING CEASES]

Mm.

[GRUNTS]

Good morning.

Do you need a taxi?

No thank you.

I ordered an Uber. Thanks.



I don't-- I don't...

I don't even know what to say.

But you did this,

drove all night.

I drive all night every night.

I just went in a straight

line this time. [LAUGHS]

Crazy.

Capacity is 175.

We're at about 150 right now.

Mm-hmm.

This part of our facility

is dedicated to

our assisted living residents.

Seniors that may need

some minimal care

but are essentially

self-sufficient.

-Oh. Very nice.

-Hi, Diane.

-Oh, hello.

-Oh. [CHUCKLES]

WOMAN: This is our

Memory Care Neighborhood.

This is where your husband

would reside.

[RECEPTOR BEEPS, BUZZES]

Here is our main activity room.

Very spacious, as you can see.

Perfect timing on your visit,

here is our regular

Saturday morning bingo game.

N-41!

That lucky for anyone?

Jerry. Don't think I haven't

noticed your haircut.

WOMAN: Betty does

such a wonderful job.

The residents

absolutely adore her

and she brings

the best snacks.

Now, this week, she brought

homemade Christmas cookies to...

VOICE:

Alice?



-Alice?

-Oh, hmm-mm. No.

Every day our residents play

games, do art projects, yoga,

whatever physical exercise

they can tolerate.

We strive to keep their bodies

and minds active and engaged.

So they can get better

and go home? [SCOFFS]

["JINGLE BELLS"

PLAYING IN BACKGROUND]

Hey!

CYNTHIA:

Yes. Yes.

Let me know

if you have any questions.

Oh, yes, I will.

Oh thank you.

Thank you so much.

Thank you.

CYNTHIA:

Could this possibly be

what awaits

the great Warren Rand

Connect-the-dots and Bingo?

The man wrote

federal housing legislation.

A brilliant innovator,

always figuring out

ways to help people.

It was thrilling to ride shotgun

with a man like that.

Oh, the b*stard's leaving.

It's just me again.

And me is just...

[BLOWS RASPBERRY]

Nothing to show

for my stupid life.

-Oh, come on.

-Come on yourself.

You, you made

a beautiful child.

I never even made

one of those.

["ONE AND ONLY GIRL" PLAYING]

Oh, girl, oh, girl

You

You're my one

And only girl

I would never trade

For the world

-What's going on?

-Wedding.

I love you

So glad I found you

Wanna be my plus one?

-You

-[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]

I can't crash a wedding.

I'm a urologist.

...girl...

Oh, look. Come on.

They're checking invitations.

This is ridiculous.

Oh!

Oh, hey. Hi.

How you doing?

I feel like Jack and Rose

in Titanic.

Good analogy.

Oh!

You

You're my one and only girl

Hey. Whoa, whoa,

whoa, whoa, whoa.

This is a wedding, okay?

And if you attend

someone's wedding uninvited,

you should look like

a human being.

Okay?

Let's at least do this.

-Okay.

-Thank you.

[GRUNTS]

I would never trade you

For the world

I promise, I promise

I love you

Hey. How you doing?

Love that jacket.

From Dodge City. I love

what you've done with the place.

-CYNTHIA: Oh, such a lovely day.

-STAN: Hey.

CYNTHIA: Pretty dress.

Where's the alcohol?

Girl, you know I need you

I'll stand in line

CYNTHIA:

Yeah. Best thing for that

is a heating pad

and cranberry juice.

You'll be fine

by the honeymoon phase.

You're more than

A pretty face

Your standard quarter.

Nothing special. See?

Blow on that.

Whoop. Disappear. Oh!

It's in your sleeve.

I'll take all the rings

For you

-For you

-For you

[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]

One and only girl

One and only girl

They seem so right for

one another, don't you think?

Yeah.

They really do.

Although, you know, in marriage

there are no guarantees.

-Ours is a bloody shambles.

-Shambles.

Oh, I don't know, honey.

That's a bit strong. Maybe.

But these two, they have as much

a chance to make it as anyone.

Which is 50/50. Pick them.

["LADY MARMALADE"

PLAYING IN BACKGROUND]

-[GASPS]

-Hey, sister, go sister

Soul sister, go sister

"Lady Marmalade." They're

playing "Lady Marmalade."

That's my bump song.

You ever done it

with a real person?

-Not yet.

-Come on.

He met Marmalade

Down in old New Orleans

Strutting her stuff

On the street

She said, "Hello, hey, Joe

You wanna give it a go?"

Hmm, hmm

Gitchi gitchi ya ya da da

Gitchi gitchi ya ya here

Mocha chocolata, ya ya

Creole Lady Marmalade

Voulez vous coucher avec moi

Ce soir?

Voulez vous coucher

Avec moi ce soir?

He stayed in her boudoir

While she freshened up

The boys drank

All her magnolia wine

On her black satin sheets

Where we started to freak

Gitchi gitchi ya ya da da

Creole Lady Marmalade

Voulez vous coucher avec moi

Ce soir?

Voulez vous coucher

Avec moi ce soir?

Voulez vous coucher avec moi

Ce soir?

Voulez vous coucher

Avec moi ce soir?

-Voulez vous...

-[HUMS]

Well, this is me.

-Wow. Great.

-Anyway. Thanks again.

This was so much fun.

I haven't danced in so long.

It's great to spend some

relaxing time for a change.

Really.

Thank you so much.

-Yeah.

-Anyway--



[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]

[GRUNTS SOFTLY]

[EXHALES]



[GROANS]

CARTOON CHARACTER:

Oh, Mr. Wizard.

[MUFFLED OVERLAPPING VOICES]

CYNTHIA: No. No. Okay.

Where are you right now?

Are you with him? Okay.

No, no, no.

You did the right thing.

Okay, okay. No, no, no, no,

that's not, um--

Just, just, just, just,

just tell me the readings

when you first got to the ER.

Right.

Okay.

Pramila, he's stable.

I have a 7:30 flight.

I'm on my way.



[THUMP]

[GASPS]

Sorry.

[VOICE SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY

OVER DISPATCH RADIO]

CYNTHIA:

Okay.

We're going to bring you

to the house now.

Okay.

CYNTHIA:

Oh, Pramila, I'm so sorry.

I had no idea

you were waiting down here.

No. It's fine.

I ate some of the Kegel.

It's kugel.

[CHUCKLES]

-How's he doing?

-Oh. It's better.

It took a while

to get him settled up there.

Oh, that man

is as tough as nails.

But this stroke. Wow.

I know

you must be exhausted,

but I wanted to talk to you

for just a moment

regarding my work here.

Oh. I'm sorry. I haven't even

had a second to think about it.

You know, from now on,

he's going to need,

you know, nursing care.

Oh, no, no, no,

I figured all of that.

Um, I meant with the book.

The book?

The book.

Your husband's book.

You're actually working

on the book?

I recorded

everything he said,

I transcribed it

and I edited it.

-It's a book.

-What? About Watergate?

Sometimes.

It's not a history book.

It's just a book.

-Can I have this?

-[CHUCKLES] Yeah.



[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]

-Hey. Sorry to keep you waiting.

-Yeah. No problem.

I thought we were going to do

an exam like usual,

but they brought me

right in here.

Yeah, I thought

we should, um, discuss.

Hey, how's Warren?

He's, um, so-so. It was, um,

bad stroke. Thanks for asking.

Yeah. I mean,

I didn't want to text.

Anyway, just give him

my best, will you?

I will, I will, I will. Okay.

Uh, down to business.

I'm just running very late today.

Okay.

Okay. It's looking like the

infection is gone. That's good.

Yeah.

Peeing better for sure.

Not going to win

a state fair, but--

Yeah, PSA is still high,

though. It is still high.

Okay.

The next step in the protocol

would be a biopsy, Stan.

I'm not saying

it's urgently called for,

but I certainly would

recommend it at this point

just to get a clear answer

on that issue.

Wow. Um... Okay.

Sure. Let's do it.

Actually, my partner,

Dr. Kaseman,

is going to do the procedure.

He's wonderful.

Oh, but I mean, you're going

to be there, though, right?

Uh... I won't be

at the procedure. No, no.

Are you still my doctor?

You know, I really think

it would be best

if Dr. Kaseman took over

at this point.

Same financial arrangement

we had. He's the best.

Wait, wait, wait.

Wait, wait, wait a minute.

Is this

because of Cleveland?

That doesn't mean you can't

be my doctor, does it?

Actually, it does.

It's an ethics issue.

Ethics? Come on.

It was one night of partying.

It never happened.

Honestly, I can't even

remember Cleveland.

Where's that?

I've never been.

-Dr. Kase--

-Oh, f*ck him. And f*ck you.

[GASPS]

That's quite a nifty

one-two punch

you hit me with

this afternoon.

Listen, Stan. I'm sorry.

Clearly,

this is a shitty situation.

We became friends.

Close friends,

and that was wonderful.

But I let it get too far,

and I take full responsibility.

Oh, do you?

Okay, well, sure,

because I had no say

in it, right?

I'm just your hot guy in

a uniform doll by Mattel.

You never got over

that stupid text.

Doesn't matter.

Okay, Cynthia, because I am

out of your life right now

as per your wishes.

Now, maybe you meet

a cute furnace guy

and start

a whole new thing, huh?

And you know what?

I can take responsibility

for my own f*ck.

Thank you. I've had

a lot more practice than you.

[DOOR SLAMS]

[EXHALES]



[TIRES SQUEAL]



[VOICES VOCALIZING]

[MACHINES WHIRRING]

[STAPLE g*n CLICKING]

-What's that?

-A riser.

[GENTLE ACOUSTIC GUITAR

PLAYING]

Have faith

Promises were made

You just take care

And behave

You left

Now you are saved

The path

It walks you away

Meanwhile

The house is empty

The legs, naked and weary

Walls barely hanging on

Carry on

As she waits for you

She can't hear

Anything he's saying

She can't believe

What is true

It doesn't make sense

What they're saying

She can't see anyone

But you

I love you.

Last night

You left like a bird

Fly away

And never to be heard

The wind

It's cold and absurd

I love you.

But man

You gave her your word

Meanwhile

The house is empty

The legs, naked and weary

Walls, barely hanging on

Carry on

She waits for you

She waits for you

She waits

[APPLAUSE, CHEERING]

-Yeah!

-Damn right! Woo hoo! Yeah!

Thank you.

That was for my dad.

["O HOLY NIGHT" PLAYING]

[CHURCH BELL RINGING]

g*dd*mn kids.

Who knocks over Santa?

You know, they do

make inflatable ones.

-Another option.

-No way, man.

They're just gonna steal them,

take them home,

do all kinds of sick sh*t

to them.

You know

what I'm talking about.

[CELL PHONE PINGS]

Excuse me.

[MESSAGE CHIMES ON PHONE]

g*dd*mn It!

[GROANS]

[TAKES A DEEP BREATH]

You know, it's funny, um,

when you fall in love

with someone...

whatever it is

that draws you to them,

whatever they represent to you

at that moment,

it gets kind of locked in.

And that's who they are

forever.

To me, Warren was strength.

You know, it's not

a very feminist thing to say,

but, heh,

Warren made me feel safe.

Sorry. It's true.

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

I loved Warren's strength.

I-I, I relied on his strength.

So, when that strength

began to fade,

when his body and mind stopped

being what they once were.

I felt abandoned.

I felt angry.

Not proud of that,

but it's what I felt.

Pramila Mahesh knew Warren only

at the end. And what a gift.

Because Pramila,

without any expectations,

listened to Warren...

in a way

that I had stopped listening.

And bless her,

she recorded his words

and made this remarkable book

that I can't even begin

to describe

what reading this book

has opened up for me.

I mean, I knew

most of the stories already.

I knew that he ran in

the Millrose Games

when he was 19,

as part of his legend.

But he-- he wasn't a legend.

Not then. He was a boy.

A boy who wanted

to win that race so much,

who ran so hard,

who took the lead

with a lap to go.

And lost.

This second plane trip,

the one back home,

was bent in the back row

in tears.

One night

about a week ago, um...

I got into bed

and Warren woke up for a moment

and looked at me.

[VOICE CRACKING]

And there he was, the boy.

I saw in his eyes

the pain that he was feeling

at age 19

and now again, 65 years later,

the pain of falling short

of what he wanted to be.

And in that moment,

I loved the great Warren Rand

more fully

than I'd ever loved him before.

And I'm so glad I got to do that

before he left.

Thank you.

[INDISTINCT MURMURING]



[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]

Warren. I'm home.

Warren.

Warren, honey?

Oh, you're still here?

I, uh...

I wanted to know

what it feels like

not to hear him answer.

How's it feel?

I feel like

I let him down, Stan.

I mean, if he was being honest,

totally honest,

would he say

I was a good wife?

Would he say

I was there for him

in the way he needed

all these years?

I don't know. I--

I truly do not know.

[IMITATING CARTOON]

Help me, Mr. Wizard.

[SIGHS]

[GRUNTS]

[GRUNTS]

I took Sammi camping once,

up in the mountains.

She was like 10 or so.

And she didn't want to go.

But I said, "We're going.

We're going to have

a great time,

so shut the f*ck up."

Such was my sensitive

parenting style.

So, we go.

She won't stop complaining.

"It's cold. The food's gross.

It's raining really hard."

It wasn't even raining

that hard.

If it wasn't for

the big hole in the tent,

she never would have noticed.

[CRYING SOFTLY]

And then she starts

complaining that her ears hurt

because of the altitude.

And I remember that her mom

used peroxide for that.

So I get some

out of the first aid

and I tilt her head

to the side

and I pour a capful

in one of her ears,

which, as it turns out,

is way too much,

and most of it rolls out down

right into her eye

and she starts screaming.

Screams of the "God help me,

I'm being burned alive"

variety.

[CRYING]

So now I'm thinking, "Holy sh*t,

did I just blind my kid?"

Nearest hospital

is like two hours away.

We're in

the Adirondacks.

So to get some sense

of the damage, I take--

And I'm not defending

this move, mind you.

--I take a capful

of the peroxide--

And I'm not

defending this.

--pour it into my own eye

to see how bad it really is.

Turns out, very bad.

Like sulfuric acid.

So now I'm thinking I do need

to get her to a hospital,

not to mention myself.

So, I scoop her up

in her pajamas.

But I'm half blind.

I'm running

towards the car

and I don't see

the picnic table

at the exact height

of my ba*ls.

[SOBBING]

I feel like you're

getting ahead of the story,

but yeah, I go slamming

into the picnic table,

Sammi goes flying.

She lands in a big pile of mud.

I'm grabbing my gonads,

keeled over next to her.

And there we are

in the mud...

cold, wet,

eyes burning.

And the only thing

I can think of to say is...

"I'm sorry, Sammi."

And she looks at me...

with this muddy,

squinty face...

and she says,

"It's okay, Dad.

You're doing

the best you can."

And I definitely, uh...

backhanded compliment,

given the circumstances.

But still,

for some reason...

she chose that moment

of all moments...

to let me be human.

-Mr. Wizard.

-Hm.

STAN:

And, uh, happy birthday.

CYNTHIA [CHUCKLES]:

Happy birthday.

["BELIEVA" PLAYING]

Ooh, ooh, ooh

Ooh, ooh, ooh

Ooh, ooh, ooh

I'm the newest little fish

In the big blue sea

And everybody's talking

And they're looking at me

Saying, "What you gonna do

With your life?"

You know

You gotta do it soon

And you gotta

Do it right

Well, I get it, I got it

I understand

Can't screw up

'Cause you got one chance

Supposed to get a job

And then follow the plan

But then how in the heck

Could I be who I am

Whoa, oh-oh, whoo-ooh

I don't think

They understand

That I'ma be all right

I'ma be okay

No, I'm not there yet

But I'm on my way

So it doesn't really matter

What you think or say

'Cause I'm a B-E-L-I-E-V-A

All right

I'ma be okay

No, I'm not there yet

But I'm on my way

So it doesn't really matter

What you think or say

'Cause

I'm a B-E-L-I-E-V-A

Whoa, oh-oh, whoo-ooh

[SAXOPHONE SOLO]

I'm a B-E-liever

P-E-O-P-ple pleaser

That says she can

So you best believe her

Put your hands up

You're a dreamer

A B-E-liever

A P-E-O-P-ple pleaser

She says she can

So you best believe her

Mmm, mmm

I'ma be all right

I'ma be okay

No, I'm not there yet

But I'm on my way

So it doesn't really matter

What you think or say

'Cause I'm a

B-E-L-I-E-V-A, all right?

I'ma be okay

No, the best is yet

To come my way

So it doesn't really matter

what you think or say

'Cause I'm a B-E-L-I-E-V

I said, B-E-L-I-E-V

Get a B-E-L-I-E-V

Get a B-E-L-I-E-V

Get a B-E-L-I-E-V-A

SAMMI:

It's my dad!

[CHEERING]

Whoo!

[AUDIENCE CHEERING

AND APPLAUDING]

-That's my kid!

-Yeah!

My daughter!

[CHEERING AND APPLAUDING

CONTINUE]

Come on! Do it!

["ONE AND ONLY GIRL" PLAYING]

Oh, girl, oh, girl

You

You're my

One and only girl

I would never trade you

For the world

I promise, I promise

I love you

So glad I found you

-You

-You

You're my

One and only girl

I would never trade you

For the world

I promise, I promise

I love you

So glad I found you

Baby, you are my melody

You put my words

In harmony

Now, come on

I wanna feel ya

Girl

You know I need ya

I'll stand in line

Just to get your love

You're more

Than a pretty face

You take my heart

To many places

I'm waiting

For your kiss, girl

I'll take all the rings

For you

-For you

-For you

For you

One and only girl

One and only girl

You're my only girl

Ooh, girl, whoo!

My one and only girl



Girl

[PLAYFUL MELODY ON HORN]

My only girl

My only girl

Oh-oh-oh-oh

Oh-oh-oh-oh

Hey, my only girl

-You

-Baby

You're my

One and only girl

My one and only

I would never trade you

For the world

Never, never, never

I promise, I promise

I love you

-Oh-oh-oh-oh

-So glad I found you

-Oh, girl, you

-Hey

You're my

One and only girl

My one girl

I would never trade you

For the world

Never, never, never

I promise, I promise

I love you

So glad I found you

Whoo!

Good night!