01x07 - Not our plan

[bunniefuu]

That's right, Marwan. It's perfect.

I have always felt like an outsider.

My father said I was Norwegian because I was born here, but not everyone agreed.

- You clown! Go home where you came from. - What are you doing?

There I understood how people look at me.

I am not one of "us", but one of "them".

What exactly are you talking about?

You wanted to know everything. This is my background.

We need to know what happened at Nordigard before the incident.

- Why did you stay there? - Adil and his friends ran a cheese factory.

They needed a sales agent.

So at this dairy was Adil Yousef -

- Nuh Khadria and Knut Sørensen employed?

Yes. I don't know if they were technically employed, but yes.

But they spent all their time on cheese production?

They didn't do other things?

THE HALAL FARMERS

Feel the smell. Truffle.

Really delicious. My great-grandfather must have tasted that.

It is strong, round in taste, lovely.

There are over a billion Muslims in the world.

Don't talk to me about that cheese again.

It's incredibly strange that something that tastes so good can be so halal.

It tastes really good.

It's fine here, but does anyone work here?

- There was one. - Hello. I'm sorry you had to wait.

- I don't have five arms. - We are from Nordigard.

Handmade halal cheese from the heart of Norway?

That's fun. After all, the taste is the most important thing.

But it can be the halal-ve experience.

Welcome. Now I will show you to your booth.

Yes please. Well, good luck.

- Who was it? - Oline's ex.

He can stop his fake cheese where the sun never shines.

We'll have to go. See you afterwards. Give it gas.

Now where did she go?

- Shall we stop here? - Yes, that's perfectly fine.

Take a little break. Go to the bathroom or fill your bottles and stuff.

- Anisa, come on. - What?

Okay, take a breath.

- What is that? - It's... There's a lot going on in the House.

- The House? - It's a place you go out.

It's somewhere here and it's where it happens.

- There is an "open mic" for your standup. - I don't do stand-up in a bar.

- It's a kind of community center. - Can I try one of them?

Yes, just watch a little here and be careful.

- Can you? - I have ridden them a lot in Pakistan.

- Adil didn't seem like he... - Adil?

He is afraid of mopeds. He is afraid of everything. Haven't you noticed?

Heights, widths, lengths, everything. He is afraid of insects. Spiders.

Why do you think he has that cat? It must protect him from insects.

Have you heard anything so stupid?

- You like him. - What? No...

- You like him. - No no no.

It is all right. You are a good woman. You have my blessing.

I think he likes you too.

Here are the new instructions. We must drive the medicine to this address in Brussels.

Then we wait for the signal, and then we detonate.

- Bro, it's a mall. - Khabib, that wasn't part of the plan!

- What will you? What is it you want? - Have you gone insane?

No, I'm completely clear in my head.

It's your heads that are full of cheese, money and women.

- What are you trying to say? - You know that.

Do you realize how many people will be there?

- Do you realize ...? - Don't talk about all the dead Muslims.

It's only about one, Khabib. At least be honest with us.

It is about one Muslim and that is your sister.

You want revenge because your sister is dead.

If it's about revenge, it's for everyone who can't do it themselves.

- You're not going to give it up? - No.

He just wants to lie to us. He won't let go of his past.

It's about sending a greeting.

Then they understand that we can do it just as easily as they do it to us.

Do as you will. I do it alone, if I have to blow myself up.

Khabib! Do you want to blow yourself up? Cool! You will be in paradise.

Do you remember from hadith al-Qudsi? Allah said:

"My servant has gotten ahead of me. I have forbidden him paradise."

- How are you? - Totally fine.

There are preparations for the NM in cheese. That's what's going on.

- Nothing new? - No.

There is not much new to report. And I don't think it will be either.

They are entrepreneurs. They are trying to get a cheese production up and running.

I am in.

But now remember the agreement. If we were to see through your daughter -

- then you should help us, right? And you haven't been much help.

Come on, damn it. Do not threaten me.

I do everything. It's not my fault that nothing criminal is going on.

It's not a threat. Will your daughter visit you behind a glass wall?

- If she is allowed to. - I say, I do everything... Hello?

- What is it? - You're going too far.

- What have I said now? - It's one thing to play on his paranoia.

But it's not okay to threaten with lies.

You have something here.

He thinks he has kidnapped his daughter. Now don't pour more gasoline on that fire.

- I know they are up to something. - Then we have to prove it in other ways.

Have you seen the other case that we received a report of concern about in the settlement?

Marwan risks being caged inside. I'm trying to help him and the daughter.

- The two of us can help him. - Answer now. Have you looked at it?

Yes, I have checked. A waste of time. The long-bearded guys are the menace.

You have something between your teeth.

- Is it gone? - I am joking. There is nothing.

But don't waste your time on village gossip.

Who was it?

It was those cheese people. NM in cheese, who wanted to know something about on Friday.

- But... - They inquired about criminal activity?

No, they want certificates. Tax information, I guess.

Yes. It sounds formal.

Are they all asking for it, or just perkers?

Everyone, I reckon.

Marwan, what's going on here? Frankly.

I need to talk to you. Come here.

- What the hell is going on here? - Your language, brother.

- Shut up, Tariq! Not now. - Relax. I came to pick up Kiki.

You get in the car and shut up the rest of the time.

What exactly is your problem? What do you think about me?

Shouldn't you stay away from my sister?

- Now relax... - Stop! What are you doing?

What happens here?

- You can see there. I am not alone. - So...

Damn it... Well... Do you drive?

- Has something happened? - There is just a bit too much to think about.

Hear...

You've had a bad day and that's okay.

But you have to trust me when I say that nothing happened.

- Why are you still here? - We have a cheese business after all.

No, we have a cheese business.

Take your daughter with you and travel far away from here.

Are you farting?

- No, you don't mean that. - Marwan...

I am asking you to take Kiki with you and leave the farm immediately.

- Come on, Kiki. - What are you doing now?

If Khabib does what he sets out to do, do you want those two around?

- So you're not really angry with him? - Because of Anisa? Yes of course.

Shouldn't we bring in Khabib? It is a long walk.

If he's ready to blow himself up, he might as well go.

- He embarrasses me so much! - Does he decide who you can see?

- It's not that. He's just so... - Yes, he's... Or how?

According to Islam, I cannot be married off without my consent.

He thinks I should go to Pakistan and find a good man there.

It's totally... I don't agree with that. Not even with all the wives.

One cannot agree or disagree. That's not why I'm angry.

Does he think he is a better Muslim than me?

- Who has made him my protector? - Not me.

What annoys me is that he thinks I have no integrity!

Did you know that the Prophet's first wife was a successful businesswoman?

Her caravans were more profitable than all those of the men of the Quraish tribe.

Together! And then he thinks that I…

- You know what? - No.

- No, no, no... - Where was that standup?

- Where are we going? - We won't be here anymore.

- Can't we leave tomorrow? - No we can not.

- I haven't said goodbye to Khabib. - I don't have that either.

I hope you have a good trip. It was nice meeting you, Kiki.

And...

Well, Marwan... Thanks for everything.

I'm sorry it turned out that way.

Listen, Tariq... Can't you talk to him?

- You know I haven't touched his sister. - Yes, but there is nothing I can do.

Sorry. But thanks for all your help. It wouldn't have happened without you.

- Is everything well? Are you nervous? - Yes.

Let me help you. I often do it when I have to do something difficult.

- Anisa? - Would you mind? What are you doing?

- Bengt? Don't you have any good jokes? - No, I'm not very good at jokes.

Yes come on.

Okay. What do you say when you try to fit five giraffes into a Volkswagen?

No, not like that. n*gro jokes.

- Stop now, Jarle... - No, that's fine. I have one here.

What do you say if you light a box of matches on fire?

We have 10 new asylum seekers there.

One more.

- One more. - Yes.

What do you say to a classmate with size 46 shoes?

"Is there a mistake in the passport?"

Bengt...

Now that's enough.

It was good. I must remember that one.

Now comes a talent that will make everyone laugh!

A big hand to Agneta!

Thank you very much.

Hello. My name is Anisa and not Agneta as I was introduced as.

But I can see that I might look like an Agneta in this one.

So you don't.

No, that was exactly the point, but thanks for saying it out loud -

- because then I know who I have to talk to slowly for the rest of the evening.

You have to speak slowly, because you don't know Norwegian.

That's true enough. I don't know Norwegian.

So I will need an interpreter.

Can anyone here translate what I'm saying to idiotic?

Maybe the DJ is talking idiotically? No, he's busy picking his nose.

But is it good enough? Can I do my thing?

And!

I want to talk a little about my brother.

- Peace be upon you. - Waalaikum assalam.

What? Did Marwan do well?

He would have just gotten involved if he had stayed here.

- It's not Marwan. It's Anisa. - What's wrong with her?

I have worn 50 layers of clothes, two pairs of socks and a hijab -

- a record hot summer in Pakistan, and it will be 50 degrees.

And all passengers have enjoyed themselves -

- with nice, spicy fart-producing curry for breakfast.

And even there I didn't sweat half as much as my older brother Adil.

Thank you very much! Thanks for me.

Hello...

Shut up, it was so good!

- Yes, yes, yes. I am totally overwhelmed. - Hold on, you're drunk.

- Maybe I should drive? - Or me?

- Hello, humor queen! - Drop it now, Earl...

You're not wearing a suicide vest under all the curtains, are you?

I was on stage for 15 minutes. Is it the best you could come up with?

- Ingeborg, shut up, you smut! - You shouldn't talk to her like that.

- I'm sick of you! - Let it go!

Keep your dirty hands off!

And take off that washcloth you have on your head. It's not Halloween.

Sorry. He's just a little drunk.

See how the n*gg*r*s stick together. We must also stand together.

Should we let this kind of scum dictate how we should live?

Do you believe that yourself? Sounds like you didn't go to school.

- Now we go. - I'm not done with you.

But I'm totally done with you! Maybe you should just slip home.

Is it me or you going home?

I think it's you. And take Mugabe here with you.

Shut the hell up!

- Stop now, Earl! We are on your side! - Is the n*gro telling the truth, Otto?

Hey!

I told you to take that off.

- I said no! Stop that.

Stop! Let go of me! Stop it!

Hello. Could you just watch my daughter for two minutes?

- Yes. - Two minutes.

Let go of me! Let go of me!

Am I the only one who has to piss?

Let go of me! Let go of me! Let me go, dammit!

He attacked the girl first!

Hello! You have the wrong one.

After all, he was the one who attacked first. Can't you hear at all?

Pull back. Then you withdraw!

Just go home, Anisa.

Far?

Far! Far!

Far!

Anisa? What happens?

Aren't you going home? Now just leave her alone.

Where is she going?

- What happens? They took Adil with them. - Now we're going to the police station.

- The police station? - It doesn't help to panic now.

- Isn't there a bus you have to catch? - Stop it. Now we'll fix this.

But where is her Kiki, Marwan?

Kiki?

Kiki!

She's not here. She lay there. She's not here!

Kiki! Kiki!

Do you know what I saw today? I saw a hedgehog chasing a fleeing viper.

Did it attack the viper?

The viper attacks. The hedgehog defends itself.

I think that hedgehog was very brave.

Almost as brave as a girl I know.

- Do you mean me? - Yes, you little fool. I mean you.

And stop being so proud.

I've never seen one so happy to be compared to a hedgehog.

You are also a hedgehog. We both are.

Yes. Maybe.

- Far! - Kiki!

Well.

Me too.

- Yes? - It's Marwan. Have you seen Kiki?

She is here.

Peace be upon you, Aisha.

Mom doesn't pick up the phone. Where is she?

Tell her I am coming to Pakistan.

No, it's fine. What about you?

Kiki. Kiki!

- She sleeps. - She sleeps? Damn it...

Alright thanks. Thanks for picking her up.

You should have called when you found her. I was terribly worried.

- I know, but she's sleeping now. - Every minute has been like an hour.

- Come on out, and we'll sort this out. - You must then give notice.

Do you realize how worried I've been? I was so mad…

Have you completely lost your mind?

Who leaves their daughter alone in the middle of the night?

What is so important that you leave her alone at a bus stop?

Who knows who will pass by there? You must take care of her.

So do I.

- Well, damn it... - Poor human.

- You don't deserve to be a father. - OK fine.

We're leaving here anyway. You don't have to see us.

You don't have to take care of her. You must return her.

Tomorrow you give her back to her grandparents.

You are not able to take care of her.

I don't know exactly what you're thinking, but okay... Fine, fine.

You are not a hedgehog.

Say it! "I'm not a hedgehog."

- I'm not a hedgehog. - No you are not.

You hand her back. Tomorrow.

It feels so hopeless. Stupid. I don't remember anything.

- Mons has told what happened. - Where is my sister?

- Where is she? - I do not know. The room was empty.

Drive. We need to talk.

I've been thinking a bit and…

- I am with you. - What do you mean?

- What ...? - We are pushed into a corner.

We always were and I forgot.

- But I will never forget it again. - Do you seriously think we should...?

I respect that if you don't want to, but I'll do it with Khabib.

- I understand you. It's not that. - Adil...

We have to try to think about it a bit.

I really appreciate you wanting to come with me.

I am very grateful for that.

But I'm doing this alone.

With all due respect, Khabib, I'm not doing it for you.

- The cheese will be in good hands. - No, but we had... Listen here:

We had a plan. We had to make medicine. Thats it.

That's fine, but Khabib and I do it. Your hands stay clean.

Bismillah.

We started this together and we'll end it together too.

I didn't think you cared about perkers.

- Otto! - Don't hunt with me.

Hello.

We have to. Yes, we must have it. Yes, I'll take it.

Yes, yes... Hey! Come on, Fjellfant!

Okay! So what do we have here today?

Is the medicine safe?

Marwan, listen. The terrorism clause is nothing to joke about.

You can't just sit here and talk about cheese and hedgehogs.

Okay. I tell it.