Hi.
Aww. Oh, my sweet boy.
Look at me. I wanna see
your handsome face.
Why are you always
covering it?
Not you.
Listen.
...I'm talking about.
His name is...
Hey, I wanna talk to you all
about something.
Hannah, it's me. Ben.
Hi.
Where are you?
Are you okay?
Can you come pick me up?
I'm outside of, um...
Twin Hill Pizza.
What the f*ck are you
doing outside right now?
It's like 30 degrees.
Just go somewhere warm.
I'm on my way.
Ben.
Hey.
This is your bedroom.
Um...
that's the bed.
It's a little messy.
I'll clean up.
Um, this is the bathroom
right back here.
Ben?
Bathroom.
And, um,
there's a toothbrush
somewhere.
How long has it been?
Since I've seen him?
Ten years, Thomas.
I mean, we-we like, text
"Merry Christmas,"
but I told you
they're so like righteous
and so perfectly grounded
and holy.
I just
don't understand why they--
Well, it's obviously
because he's g*y, right?
You got this.
Oh, my God.
f*ck, I should probably
check on him.
Oh, hey.
Um, I want you to meet
my, uh, my husband--
Mornin', sleepyhead.
My husband, Thomas.
- Hi.
- Hey,
it's so good to finally
meet you. Come on.
I always wanted
a little brother.
And, um, this is
your nephew, Cyrus.
And here, have some breakfast.
What grade are you in?
Um, I'm a junior.
Sixteen, 17.
That's a great year.
I actually teach high school,
so it's like I get to be 17
all year round.
I swear that's boyish charm
and not developmental arrest.
Anyway, I-I don't know
what your plan is,
but even if you're just gonna
stay here a-a little while,
you probably
don't wanna fall behind.
So Thomas is gonna, um,
try and register you tomorrow.
Does that sound good?
Yeah.
I'm gonna go
grade some papers.
Ben, it would probably
be helpful to know
what exactly happened.
I...
came out to them
and... they freaked.
f*cking dicks.
I'm really, really sorry that
I left you alone with them.
Can we not tell them
that I'm here?
Of course, yeah. It's not like
I wanna send them updates.
Is there anything else
that you need?
The Wi-Fi?
Mom and Dad must have shut
my service off.
Of course they did.
This is gonna be groovy, Ben.
North Wake is pretty accepting,
I gotta say.
Some people even call it
"North Woke."
Um, what do you teach?
Chem.
Yeah, I always thought
that I'd be out in the field,
but then Teach for America
happened
and I just fell in love
with teens.
You know what I mean.
I fell in love
with teaching teens.
By the way,
I emailed administration
that letter
that your mom sent,
so you're all set
for enrollment.
Letter? What letter?
The letter that your mom sent
saying that you're gonna be
staying with us
for the rest of the year.
What are you--
What are you talking--
It's a white lie.
It's no big deal.
Now just as long as you and I
are honest with each other,
that's all that matters.
Totally.
Yo!
What's up, Mr. Wallace?
Hi, Sarah.
Yes, thank you.
Okay, so,
fill this out for me.
I'm gonna run and grab
your schedule real quick.
All right, Ben,
here is your schedule.
Nathan...
Perfect. Just the man
I wanted to see.
Hey, Mr. Wallace.
Hey, this is
my wife's brother, Ben.
Uh, he's actually
the newest addition
to the North Wake Crusaders.
Hey, welcome, welcome, welcome.
- Thanks.
- Would you mind taking him
on a tour of the campus?
I gotta get to class.
Uh, yeah, no problem.
Awesome. Thank you.
- Ben, I'll see you in a bit.
- Okay.
Thank you.
Whoa, you are f*ck' smart.
- Thanks.
- No, no, it's cool.
Like AP calc? I can't even pass
Trig right now,
and I'm a year older than you.
I guess I just like math.
Sir Isaac Newton himself
didn't even like math.
Somebody must like history.
Oh, uh, you are up here
for first period
with Miss Ranger.
You know, we don't get
a lot of new kids.
- Great.
- Not to fear.
As long as you keep
your head down
around the football dickheads,
you should be pretty good.
Well,
happy first day.
f*ck a duck! Oh!
A-are you okay?
sh*t. sh**t, okay.
Hi, hi, hi.
I'm Miss Lions. Sorry.
I'm Ben.
Uh, Ben DeBacker.
Yes, I got an email about you.
Okay. This is Art 4.
This is what we got.
Clearly, these kids
are more theater people
because I've seen
about two of them
in the last six weeks.
What is your discipline?
Um, I draw mostly.
Amazing.
So this is your space.
You can spread out.
I mean, look at this.
Look at the range of mediums
that are present.
We have wheel.
Have you tested a wheel?
- No.
- Have you seen Ghost?
It's that thing
that they sit around.
Patrick Swayze sits around
and he holds it.
He holds her
and he sculpts the clay.
Make something for the art fair.
Please.
You're my last hope.
Sorry-- Art fair?
I mean, I can try.
Paint.
Your body needs to paint.
Oh, okay.
Let's go.
- Should I follow you?
- No, go back to algebra class.
- Yes, follow me!
- O-okay.
I was thinking
about your face
Thinking about the place
that we said you felt okay
And I was hoping
that on your mind
I could take off some time
from anything I can
'Cause I belong to
I belong to you
'Cause I belong to
I belong to you
I was
Walking around the park
Hoping that I...
Mmm.
h*m* chicken sandwich?
Thought you'd never ask.
- Here you go.
- Thanks.
This...
All this good stuff.
What are you workin' on?
Oh, just sketch... sketches.
You drawing?
Cutting, pasting.
That's cool.
Uh, thanks for the stuff,
by the way.
So how's school going?
You know, it's...
different.
Yeah, God, I mean,
I barely remember high school.
Feels like it was
a thousand years ago.
But, you know, I had a lot
going on back then.
You know, Ben, I just--
I don't wanna f*ck you up
any more than they already have.
They haven't called, have they?
Here.
Mom and Dad...
I thought you'd at least call
or text me by now.
I wish this never happened.
I was looking for you
at lunch today. Where were you?
That open area
behind Building 3.
Yeah, I wanted to introduce you
to Mel and Sophie.
Maybe tomorrow you should, uh...
come have lunch
with the cool kids.
I don't know.
I gotta study Lit.
I can already feel
my dyslexic a*s falling behind.
Oh, I can help you with that.
Hey, you're-you're good
at math, right?
'Cause somehow I am, like,
bombing Trig.
Yikes.
Mm, maybe you can summarize
Homer for me
and I can do
your Pythagorean theorem.
That'd be dope, yes.
- Hideaway, my arms are tied - Oh!
- Hi!
When I lie awake
beneath the night
Try to climb
to find some height
I'm a prisoner
when I'm with you
Hideaway,
my arms are tied...
No!
Absolutely f*cking not.
We are not doing sad hoodies
for one more day ever.
I like my sad hoodies.
I know you like
your sad hoodies,
but I think we just
need to figure out
what your style is.
Not that.
- A bit formal.
- Yeah, that's...
This-- Look.
This will match your eyes.
That's really cute.
That's a whole outfit.
- Yeah.
- Okay, try that on.
So obviously, um, I-I...
can handle the cost
of some of the, um,
"start your life over basics,"
but, um...
with the baby
and everything,
- I'm feeling just a little--
- Yeah, no.
I was actually thinking
about getting a job.
I mean, like, with everything
you guys have done for me, I...
I-- You know,
I-I could use--
I could use getting out
of the house more.
That's exactly
what I was thinking,
and I actually called
a friend of mine
who has this really cool
camp thing,
and they have an opening.
You'll love it. It's amazing.
The camp for troubled teens
is down the road.
Um, I'm actually
looking for Chris.
Chris!
All right.
Here we have Raleigh's
one-and-only senior day camp.
It's a place for seniors
who are suffering
from Alzheimer's, dementia,
or from any other disease
that affects memory function.
So we got some
light activities and games...
like you see there.
We got arts and crafts.
We even have
a nice gardening club
that's bustling over here.
The mums are looking excellent.
Now, uh, Hannah tells me that
you have zero work experience.
- No.
- All right, well, that's okay.
We kinda work on the watch
and learn model here.
So basically,
after school every week,
you're gonna show up, you're
gonna monitor the clients,
you're gonna keep your ears
and your eyes open.
And while you are here,
you are gonna be honest,
you're gonna be sober,
and you're gonna be
off your phone.
What the f*ck?
- It's just scream therapy.
- Uh...
It's the best kind.
I'm Ben. I heard
you guys are waiting
for some puzzle pieces.
Hey!
Where do we begin?
Welcome to the team, kid.
- Tomorrow the real work starts.
- Thanks.
Mm-hmm.
Oh, there's-- Ben! Ben!
These are the peeps I've been
trying to introduce you to.
- "Peeps?" That's so--
- Troublingly masc?
Yeah, I know.
I'm Meleika Wilkins.
I've tried to make
your acquaintance in homeroom,
but you have proven yourself
quite skilled at curving me.
- Oh! Tea.
- Oh. Tea.
- Call me Mel though.
- I promise I'm not a d*ck,
just socially inept.
- Same.
- I'm Sophie.
Wait, you're in Art 4, right?
Barely. Wait, are you?
Oh, sh*t, I, um...
Guess I haven't shown up yet
in that class this year.
Sophie uses art as a free period
to get stoned
and, uh, "build" her portfolio.
- Yes, I do, as is my right.
- Uh-huh.
- Mm-hmm.
- Ben.
- What are you listening to?
- Oh, uh, King Princess.
- Who?
- Oh.
Oh, my God,
I f*cking love KP.
We gotta get you
on our Spotify Blend.
Honestly, she could, like,
ruin my p*ssy.
Ew. b*tch, we're eating.
Okay. Whatever.
As if you don't finger yourself
to Noah Centineo
when you can't sleep.
You know what,
Noah is pretty dreamy though.
I'd let him.
The bar really is so low
for men.
Ben, would you f*ck
Noah Centineo?
Um, no.
I knew I'd love you.
So why'd you transfer?
My sister lives here.
Where was your old school?
Okay, interrogation over.
Fine. He passed the first test.
Is there gonna be like
a final exam or something?
Oh, he has jokes,
unlike someone we know.
You know what?
Let Ben be the judge of that.
Okay, um, enough
with the g*y geekery.
Please can we talk
about something fun?
- Yes. Yes.
- Like Steph's party.
Or how blackout wasted
we're gonna be
- at Steph's party.
- That part.
Yes! Sophie,
you read my mind.
I read your mind.
Yes, I did.
My true Lord and Savior,
Benjesus Christ.
Oh, my gosh.
- Who is this?
- That's Dabs.
Oh, hey, Dabs.
Oh, yeah.
Welcome.
Let me take your stuff.
Take it off, stay a while,
hang with me.
Thanks.
Mm. Cool record player.
Thanks. I mostly use Bluetooth.
I got it for clout.
Oh, my God. Is this you?
What? In the stroller?
Yeah, that was me last week.
Hey, that's, um--
These are dope.
- Oh, this is--
- It's-it's nothing.
Fine, okay.
It's my family tree.
Or what was my family tree.
Oh. Past tense.
It's a long story.
Hey. Why does it feel like
I-I really don't know
anything about you.
Like, like, what do you
wanna be when you grow up?
Seriously?
I don't know.
Alive.
Wow, so emo.
Okay. You?
Ah, I think a writer
or a director.
Tell me about your family.
Tell me about the tree.
- It's just a drawing.
- Uh-uh. Liar.
Fine. My parents
kicked me out of the house
because I'm non--
Not... not straight.
"Not straight."
f*ck. Sorry. I don't know-
I don't know why I laughed.
That's trash.
Boomers suck.
Do you have your book?
Yeah, just rewrite the equation
with the log terms on the side.
Oh, honey
Touch my face real slow
Tie my hands
Let the river flow
See you and dance
Shadow of a rose
Show me how to grow
Find my car
Pray it stays all night
Your flower blooms
Under the full moonlight
See you and dance
Shadow of a rose
Show me how to grow
Poetic dream
Blooms onto your skin
You search for mine
Where does it begin?
See you and dance
Shadow of a rose
Show me how to grow
What's bubbling up in you?
I can't talk about it.
Okay, well, if you can't talk
to me about it...
you can talk to the moon.
See, the moon has room
for everyone.
When I needed to divorce
my ex-husband
who is a twat, I...
told the moon
before I told anyone.
So why don't you give it a try?
Just... lay it out.
Okay. Hi-hi, moon.
Hi, Ben.
What is eating you up inside?
Um...
I can't be myself.
You seem pretty yourself to me.
No, I'm not. This--
This isn't me.
I don't even know who I am.
Ah. The great unknown.
Or I do,
but it's being this way,
being nonbinary
makes me feel like
nothing and everything
all at once,
and it's blown up my life,
and I just don't know
what to do with myself.
Okay, well, what if I told you
I was nonbinary too?
Wait, really?
Yes, I'm the moon.
The moon is not woman nor man.
The moon is ancient
and yet it is modern,
and it's also gravity,
but that's not exactly
what we're talking about,
and it's not really science.
Can you not tell anyone?
This is Art 4.
Do you know how many secrets...?
I could-- I could bring down
the government.
And this being nonbinary...
this is something
that wasn't understood?
What are you trying to tell us?
I'm gonna need you
to take that back, boy.
Benjamin. Benjamin,
your father is speaking to you.
Where do you think
you're going?
Listen to me.
God does not want this
- for you or for this family.
- f*ck God.
What are you doing?
Mom! Mom!
You are brave.
You are a warrior.
Doesn't feel that way.
Well...
you don't need to feel it
right now.
All you have to do is be.
Sometimes I look at myself,
like in the mirror, and...
I don't recognize
what I see. I--
Like it just doesn't look like
what I feel in my head.
Okay, I have another message
coming through
the channel for you,
and that is that good art
comes from life.
So you need to get out there
and live.
If not for yourself,
then for the art fair.
You know...
how much...
I care about the art fair.
Okay.
I took the ferry in
at 6:00 a.m.
I don't think about
My high school friends
I spend the day making up
stories in my head
The tide is higher now
than yesterday
I've got some problems
but they're so clich
I'm telling you,
this is where she's living now.
Well, let's find out.
Hannah!
It's your father!
Hello.
What the actual f*ck are the two
of you doing here right now?
Now, Hannah, we're not looking
to start a fight.
Good to see you, sweetie.
That doesn't answer my question.
We just came
to see if Ben was here.
Is that my--
Is that my grandson?
No, it's not.
And I don't know where Ben is.
I haven't seen him in a decade.
Hey, don't you lie to me, girl.
Why? Did you
kick him out or something?
Ben had a choice.
Ben chose wrong.
You mean because he's g*y?
Is that what he said?
That's not even the half of it.
Ben! Benjamin!
- Son?
- Benjamin!
- Get off my property.
- Ben!
Yeah, you know what, we might
have to call the police
'cause I would like to hear
what they have to say
about you kidnapping
your brother.
Kidnapping my brother?
You kicked him out of the house.
- You abandoned him.
- Please.
- Get off my property!
- Come on, Cathy!
I want my son back!
We've got to go!
I'm gonna put Cyrus to bed,
and when I get back, I wanna
know what exactly is going on.
I'm nonbinary.
Okay.
Yeah. All right, buddy.
That's cool.
What's that feel like?
Makes me feel like I don't fit.
Like I don't have a place.
My body's always felt weird.
My brain's always felt weird.
It's like...
I'm not supposed to be here.
Not like I wanna k*ll myself
or anything.
Just something's
always felt off.
I don't feel totally like a boy,
or like a girl.
It's like I feel in-between.
It's like stuck in-between.
So, um, what are you?
Like, uh, uh, your, uh...
- Pronouns.
- Pronouns.
Yeah, I, I just--
I wanna get it right.
I've-I've never really
said this, I guess. I...
I don't know.
People use they and them.
There are a lot of them.
So I'm not sure yet.
They/Them feels like
it could be right.
Do you want us
to start using that?
Yeah.
Sure.
Great.
But only at home, I think.
Like, I don't want people
at school to know right now.
I-I-I bet they would
all be cool with it.
I'm already the new kid.
Yeah, no, Thomas isn't
gonna say anything.
And, uh...
we will try to get it right
here at home.
Like Demi Lovato,
they use they/them, right?
Oh.
She went back to she.
- Oh.
- So you can flip?
It's messy.
- I was all nervous. This--
- Wow.
I thought this was gonna be
like a whole thing.
We thought you were gonna say,
like, you k*lled someone.
Oh, my God.
How long have you been in love
with Batman?
My kryptonite.
Forever.
My brother would pass down
his old comics growing up and...
I just got hooked.
And then this guy James Tynion
took over a few years ago.
He added all these
q*eer characters.
It's kind of a breakthrough
moment for me
as a lifelong fan. Mmm.
I felt like seen in some way.
Validated.
Like I belong in g*y Gotham.
But it's not bad.
I just moved
a few paragraphs around.
Blessings received.
Yeah, getting through this play
was like literary warfare.
Next time, read it
out loud, perform it.
You know Shakespeare
was all just like
cross-dressing and drag queens,
so I just channel
my inner Sasha Velour.
Really hits different.
Mm. Yeah, you know,
I'd-I'd rather lodge this
into my trachea.
You're kind of a serious person,
aren't you, Ben?
Am I? I don't know.
I just try to avoid
embarrassment at all costs.
And my brain's always full.
- Mm... what are you doing?
- I'm releasing
your crown chakra.
My mom is a Reiki practitioner.
It's probably bullshit,
but like,
you need to chill.
Hey, um,
I lied to you.
Oh.
I-I just--
Like when you asked
what happened with my parents,
and I said
that I was not straight...
What I meant to say was, like,
I'm not cis.
Now that you say it,
I am feeling a vibe.
What the f*ck does that mean?
Uh, just like a...
a vibe, you know?
You have a soft aura and...
you're really, like,
graceful and...
ethereal almost.
So is it giving they/them?
Yeah, it's giving they/them.
You're cute when you blush.
sh*t, now I'm blushing.
I stole this Easy-Bake Oven
back from my little cousin
after she complained
that it wasn't
the right shade of pink.
On this fine eve,
I thought I'd try
my famous
Lunchable pizza recipe.
Are you okay, little nymph?
Yeah, it's just...
Mmm.
It's just what?
It's just nothing.
This is... This is boring.
This is spiritually bereft.
This is a blank canvas.
Okay, you have to make something
that burns with your passion,
with your rage,
with your humanity.
All I can think about is Nathan.
Then paint Nathan.
Let it out. Call it art therapy.
Tuck deep into
that yoni energy, okay?
And don't tell anyone
I said that to a teenager.
Darling you were
a rolling stone
I could never hold you down
You always had
a place to go
After all the lights
went out
And now you
When the words
you were saving
Are now in the graveyard
Oh
I got nothing
to say out loud
Now everyone's tongue tied
Forgot how we loved like
Like we were everything
And now we're enemies...
- Hey.
- Jesus.
Thomas.
Oh.
- Is that, uh--
- No.
Looks just like him.
Someone has a crush.
g*y king or--
sh**t, are you g*y?
Look, Ben...
I'm sorry.
That was insensitive.
I'm-I'm-I'm new to this
big brother/uncle thing.
- I-I'm learning how to--
- Well, you can bow out
at any time if it's too much
of a strain on you.
That's not what I'm saying.
I know it's not easy
to feel different.
When I was young, I was way
more emotional than other guys.
- I didn't like sports--
- Wow, that must have been
so hard for you
being marginalized like that.
I'm just trying to relate
to you, buddy.
We're on the same side.
So what's fun about this
is that you don't always need
a reason to be choosing a color.
More important
that you get the feeling
out onto the page,
if you feel me.
Christine.
That's funny to you?
You got me. You got me, okay?
I'm done.
Benji, where are you?
I'm upstairs.
Mmm.
Come in.
- Hey.
- Hi.
Thank you so much
for watching him.
- Sure.
- Hey, baby.
Um...
Thomas said that you guys
had a little bit
of a disagreement.
Yeah, it's fine. I'm over it.
He said you were pretty upset.
Well, yeah, him comparing
being a vaguely emo straight man
to being nonbinary upset me.
You know, people say sh*t
all the time
that they don't mean.
And I think part of growing up
is just...
learning how to not take it
so personally.
Can you stop trying
to parent me?
You're not really giving me
much of a choice.
Well, maybe you could just focus
on your own kid.
You know,
we grew up
in the same household.
You and I, we-we had the same,
a lot of the same experiences,
and you don't know
what it is I went through.
Right. I don't.
I only know what it was like
to live in your shadow.
And you don't know
anything about me.
You don't even know
when my birthday is.
Of course I know
when your birthday is.
- When is it?
- It's, um...
Mm?
- It's...
- Today, Hannah.
It's literally today.
I just wanna confirm
that is the bat signal
- on your cheek, right?
- I don't know, maybe.
But really, how long
till the world realize?
Yes, yes I'm the best,
f*ck what you heard
Anything less
is obviously absurd
Haters get the bird,
More like an eagle...
Promise you won't make fun
of me, but--
Uh, are you being vuln?
Wait, can I film this
for my records?
It's such a rare sight
to behold.
I've never been
to a party before.
What? How?
I was a loser at my old school
and I grew up in a dry town,
and no one drank.
Wow, babe, I'm honored.
- Th-this is a--
- Hey! Welcome to Hell, f*ggots.
- Hey, you're already f*cked up.
- Hey! I know.
Oh, give me some,
give me some.
Oh, my God.
Are you smoking in here?
- Okay.
- My parents are gonna k*ll me
- if they smell that.
- Okay. Okay!
Hi, Stephanie.
Thank you for having us.
- Go!
- Bye, White girl.
Are we not supposed
to be here?
Oh, let's not get
caught up in the details.
Don't worry about it.
Don't worry about it.
Hey, yo, where's Mel?
She's over there
standing with Todd.
- No, I've never done that.
- Oh, God, this is painful.
- Here.
- Oh. Come on. Do it.
- It'll be fun.
- Okay, fine, whatever.
- Here we go, baby's first hit.
- Hey, hey, hey.
- What, what, what?
- I blew it.
- I, like, completely blew it.
- Okay, honey, you're okay.
We just need to get you, like,
slightly more f*cked up, okay?
- No. No, I don't need--
- No-- Yes, you do.
Oh, baby.
Time to be real!
Oh, my God.
Oh, whoa, whoa.
Bubba, baby boy, slow down.
The night, like a bald sapling,
is still young.
Much growth on the horizon.
You know, I thought being drunk
would make you funnier,
but I don't think it does.
- Oh, no.
- Give me that sh*t back.
Oh. Hey, yo, Todd, wait up.
- Hey. What's up Nathan?
- Hey, uh,
my friend Mel over there
was wondering
if you could show her
the movie theater.
Yeah, sure.
- Hey.
- Hi.
I'll, uh, show you around.
Okay.
Let's do it.
What the f*ck?
Uh-huh?
Come on.
Baby!
Baby!
Oh, yeah!
Immaterial
We're just
Im-ma-ma-material,
immaterial
Immaterial boys,
immaterial girls
Im-ma-ma-material,
immaterial
We're just...
Benjamin.
Sweetie, it's your mom calling,
wishing you a happy birthday.
Wish I could see you.
Ben, you good?
Yeah, sorry.
- Oh!
- Ben, are you okay?
Ben!
Oh, what the f*ck?
Oh, my God. You've lost it.
Oh, babe.
Oh...
It's okay.
Oh, no.
Shh... Shh-shh.
I come here when I feel nuts,
and clearly,
you're spiraling, so...
My mom called me.
What'd she say?
Yeah, parents
don't know what to do
when their kids don't turn out
just like them.
My-my mom's sister
won't even look me in the eyes
just cause I'm bi.
Really?
Yeah, for real.
Could I hear it?
Benjamin.
Sweetie, it's your mom calling.
Wishing you
a happy birthday.
- Wait.
- Wish I could see you.
Wait, it's your birthday?
Um, we regret
how we behaved.
Happy f*cking birthday,
Ben DeBacker!
I actually wanted to see if--
Thanks.
So, what-what do you wanna do?
Mmm, sleep on it.
The room is spinning.
Aww.
Baby's first drunk.
Mm.
Let's go to bed.
What the hell, Ben?
- What?
- Where have you been?
I've been worried sick.
I'm sorry.
I spent the night at Nathan's.
If you wanna live
under this roof in my house,
you have to communicate.
I said I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, I don't mean it
like that, just...
I mean, please text me
next time.
I will.
I'm just scared.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
You look great.
How was your birthday?
Really good.
Why did you leave?
I got pregnant.
By Joel?
Yeah, by Joel.
sh*t.
And he-he and I talked about it,
and he was really, um...
really supportive
of me getting an ab*rtion.
Until Mom and Dad got to him.
They tried to make me go
to some place in Utah
to have the kid,
and then give it up
for adoption,
and I was like, "f*ck that."
So I ran away.
I took a Greyhound to DC.
And I took care of business.
And then when I tried
to come home, they--
Wait, you tried to come home?
Yeah.
Yeah.
They, uh, they said
that I was not welcome
in-in their home.
Hannah, they told me
you were a drug addict.
I went through all that,
and they said
I was a drug addict?
I've never even smoked pot.
I have an idea.
Yeah.
- What?
- Get your car keys.
- What?
- Come on, come on.
I haven't had one of these
since high school.
I forgot how good it was.
What?
- Scream therapy!
- What the hell
are you talking about?
It's this thing we do
with the old folks.
Scream therapy.
It's good for the soul.
You should try it.
That scared the sh*t
out of me, Ben.
You just scream?
Like... Ahh...
Ahh...
- No, you can do--
- Ahh!
No, you can do
so much better than that.
Here, after me.
f*ck Mom and Dad!
f*ck Mom and Dad!
f*ck Mom and Dad!
- f*ck Mom and Dad!
- f*ck!
f*ck Mom and Dad!
This...
will be in the art fair.
Seriously?
But I do think
that you need to do something
that expresses more
of who you are,
not just your obsession
with Nathan.
Well, I had this idea about,
like, painting my face.
Or, like, um, building--
building off my face.
Ooh, so like a face on a face
on a face.
Like a sculptural concept.
A sculpture
on God's greatest sculpture.
I love! So fresh.
Where did you just go?
Sorry, just...
Sometimes my face reminds me
so much of my dad's.
Do you wanna talk about them?
Is there anything
you can remember about them
that makes you feel good?
I'd rather not.
They aren't dead.
Fine, suit yourself,
Dissociation Station.
I have a lot of glitter
to organize.
I used to go to work
with my mom.
She'd always wear animal scrubs
'cause she's a nurse.
And in the summer,
she would bring me along
a few days a week,
let me help out
shredding stuff.
And we'd visit
the older patients
and try to cheer them up.
That was my favorite part.
And on Friday nights
we'd have movie night.
Watching Westerns way too loud.
Dad and me,
we'd try to throw popcorn
in each other's mouths.
And I used to help my mom
in the garden.
And I'd get all sunburned
and she'd cover me in aloe.
I miss them.
I know I shouldn't.
It's okay to miss them.
They're your parents.
I just don't understand
how being their kid
isn't enough for them.
And now my mom
wants to have dinner with me.
Well, don't go alone
if you go at all, okay?
Hi.
Hey!
Shoes off!
Are you crazy?
Can I talk?
Yes, please talk to me
about something.
Save me from this boring life
of domesticity.
Mom called.
Seriously?
- Yeah.
- Why?
They wanna see me?
No.
Hannah, I-I kinda want to...
- go.
- Well, I-I don't--
I just really don't think
that's the right choice
right now.
Well, isn't it
kind of inevitable?
I mean, it wasn't for me.
Until you came along.
I just wanna hear them out,
you know?
Like it's really not gonna be
anything more than that.
Okay, well, then
I'm coming with you.
With love, I need
to do it alone, I think.
Nathan and Soph
are gonna tag along though
in case they try to kidnap me.
Okay.
Can you share your location
with me?
Deal.
Okay.
Wait, um...
So, Thomas and I were talking
and I think if we're--
if we're really doing this,
then we-we should probably
make it official.
Are you proposing to me?
I'm proposing
that we file
for permanent guardianship.
Aren't I a little too old
for that?
Maybe, but the tax benefits
are really too good
to pass up.
Hannah, you know, capitalism
is the root of all evil.
All jokes aside,
it'll save us a headache,
even if it's just
for a little while.
Thank you.
You saved my life.
Is that them?
Soph, why don't you run in
and grab us a table?
I don't think you two have time
to blow each other.
Okay, okay, table for two,
coming right up.
Hey. Look at me.
No matter what happens tonight,
Benjamin DeBacker, I...
I wish you all the best...
because you deserve it.
Thank you.
Yes.
- I feel like giving him a hug.
- I know, I was--
Hey.
It's good to see you.
Did you get your ears
pierced? Wow.
It looks good.
- Thanks.
- Yeah.
First and foremost,
your father and I,
we just wanna tell you
that we love you.
Mm-hmm.
We miss you at home.
Yeah, I miss it too.
But it's nice here.
I'm just not sure
that your-your sister's
a very good influence on you.
Yeah, I mean,
she's got her sh*t,
sorry, stuff together, so...
Right, no.
Of course, of course.
Listen...
We are just happy
to see you again, son.
Child.
Yep. We wanna talk
to you about all that...
- all that stuff.
- All that.
We do.
But we just wanna make sure
you know just...
We miss you.
Do you miss us?
I feel like...
we could've handled things
better.
Exactly. I've been,
um, talking to the...
you know, the other girls
at the hospital
and going and like,
looking online,
going to Facebook chats stuff,
trying to get my head
around this thing, our heads,
and-and we know
we were very reactive.
We've-we've reflected.
And...
we see you.
We see you.
And we see the pain
that we've caused.
I think what
your mother is trying to say is,
that, you know, what--
What if it's not all
this gender bender,
uh, uh, uh liquid...
uh, y-you know, like, I mean,
what if you're just g*y?
Being g*y and being nonbinary
are different things.
And-and, Ben,
Ben, we found a solution.
That's right.
Praise Jesus, we did.
- Amen.
- In all this confusion,
there's just this answer
that came to us and...
- Pastor Joe...
- Thank God for Joe.
...showed us this place.
Oh, my gosh.
Wait, no,
wait till you see this.
It's almost like a spa,
and these counselors,
these counselors,
they just--
they're just great...
These people,
they're gonna help you
with all of your, you know,
the confusion--
Okay, I'm sorry,
I think you, um...
...are missing the point.
I'm not confused at all.
And I'm not leaving Raleigh.
I have friends here who--
- Oh, that group over there?
- No.
You gotta understand
how difficult this has been
for the both of us.
Yeah, you're gonna
come home, sweetie.
Now it's nice that you've had
some time here,
but this isn't up to you
and it doesn't really matter
what your sister has to say
about it, 'cause we gotta do
what's right for you as our son.
- No.
- Sweetie, please.
Let go of me.
You don't get a say
in how I live my life,
okay? I'm done.
I filed for emancipation,
so please just leave me alone.
I told them I was filing
for emancipation.
You're getting emancipated?
No.
Oh.
It's not funny.
I'm f*cking scared
they could come back
at any moment and take me away.
I'm not gonna let that happen.
Mm. I feel like we're what
Love, Simon could never be.
Tell me...
your deepest...
darkest secret.
I'm...
a virgin.
Duh.
Me too.
Really?
For realsies.
Do you want to?
Yeah.
I'm gonna get a condom.
Hey, have I told you yet
how much I love you?
You know, it's like...
love, love, love, love,
love, love, love you.
Mm-hmm.
'Cause I do.
Okay.
What's up? Did I do something?
No.
Can you stop?
It's just creeping me out.
Whoa.
Just trying to figure out
what's going on with you.
Yeah, well, I don't...
...really f*cking know
what to do right now.
Like...
Jesus, f*ck--
Like, I-I feel crazy.
Nathan, I--
You're-you're perfect
and happy like all the time,
- and I'm a mess.
- Hey.
Babe, you are not a mess.
You're just--
You're just a little messy
sometimes.
No, I am.
You don't wanna be
in this brain.
I don't even wanna be
inside this brain right now.
You can't be so hard
on yourself.
Be sweeter to yourself, okay?
Your--
Your life is not so bad.
Okay, Nathan, I'm not
a f*cking idiot. Like,
it's not lost on me that
most kids in my situation
would be homeless, or...
have already k*lled
themselves by now.
But I still have this, like,
pit in my stomach. Like...
This guilt, like, I'm just,
like, f*cking up bad,
and I don't know
how to get rid of it.
You're just a lot sometimes.
I'm sorry.
Island off the coast
Whatever feels
the most like dreaming
It's like
you weren't real...
I can't stomach
talking to Nathan right now.
I think I might be depressed.
And what do you mean
when you say depressed?
It's just that life feels...
too much sometimes.
And it all came at me at once
and it feels like
there's little I can do
to control any of it.
And... I just wanna be alone.
A faded dream
Photographed in time
Every kiss combined
and fleeting
Now that I'm waking
Your voice is fading
You wanna talk today?
Not today.
When you lay by me
Well, isolation
is not a safe neighborhood
for people like you and me.
We need to find love.
We all need to be carried
from time to time.
It's just a dream
A faded dream.
Alright,
it's been a week.
Time to get up.
Mmm... liar.
No, it has.
And Chris called us.
He said you're going
to get fired.
So life sucks. Let's go.
Mm, no, he's not gonna fire me.
- He absolutely will fire you.
- Yeah, without a doubt.
- And you stink, kiddo.
- You reek.
You need clothes and a shower.
Here.
- There you go. Perfect.
- Where do you sleep?
Sorry. I've been dealing
with some gender sh*t
and family sh*t
and I feel like an as*h*le.
You think I give a f*ck
about your gender
or your family?
This is work.
When life gets crazy,
we have to learn how to show up
for ourselves
and for other people.
No if, ands, or buts.
You know, my boyfriend and I
have been together in this town
for years.
You're g*y?
Baby, there are all kinds
of black bears
in these woods.
I want you on that wall.
Those are my Hall of Famers.
The misfits who came here
and found something
of themselves.
Can you commit
to showing up this summer
and being present
and accountable?
Hello my sibling-child.
It's me, your brother-father.
What are you doing tonight?
Wallowing in my own self-pity.
I'll be frank, okay?
I am trying to have sex
with your sister.
Okay, I can't with you.
No, I can't with you.
So why don't you go crash
Senior Night?
I'm a junior.
Sorry, guys, I tried.
Uh-uh. My God. Okay.
Enough with the Euphoria
depression spiral. Okay?
Nobody cares about you
or your gender identity.
So, that was rude.
What she really means to say
is that we love you
no matter what.
And we have approximately
eight minutes to get to the rink
before we're officially past
"late is cool."
So if we could like hurry
this up, that'd be so great.
Ooh, ah, okay.
If this doesn't scream
trans rights,
then I don't know what does.
- Period.
- Right?
Oh, my God!
Can you please stay in a lane?
Sorry, I'm trying to get us
there, b*tch.
- We're already late.
- Where's Nathan?
Okay, so to be honest,
he was kind of pissed
about the way
you ghosted his a*s,
so he didn't feel like
joining the, um,
"revive Ben
from their deathbed" party.
- Mm.
- I'm gonna puke again.
No, no, chug this instead.
Oh, my God.
What the f*ck is in this?
It was a special occasion raid
of my parents' liquor cabinet.
Only the best.
- Let's do it.
- Smile!
I mean, I don't know,
it all just depends on
- if Todd is here and--
- Oh.
- Todd is gonna be here.
- He's gonna be here.
- He's gonna be here.
- I mean, I don't--
And what are you gonna do
about it?
- Ooh. Ooh.
- Ooh. Ooh.
Letting you know...
Like, you're...
Oh, I'm obsessed.
I'm obsessed.
- This is so cute!
- Let's go get our skates.
Take a chance on myself
Can't hold me down
I do what I like
I own this life
I do what I like
Jeez. Oh! Ben.
- Yeah?
- What's your shoe size?
I'm an eight and a half.
Um, I've been thinking
about something.
- I wanna change my name.
- To what?
I don't know, something
super fluid like Rainforest.
How about Rainforest Cafe?
I-I think I wanna try, um...
"B."
No Benji, no Ben,
just the letter B.
I love.
- Yes!
- It's giving B like,
"This is my friend B.
- Let me introduce you to them."
- It has a nice ring to it. Yes.
- B for Barb.
- Nicki would be so proud.
Nicki would be so proud.
I'm actually kinda
Tonya Harding.
- Whoa!
- sh*t.
Ahh!
Yeah, sh*t, I'm gonna--
Okay. We're gonna go pee.
Open your eyes
I'm right in front of you
Open your eyes
Open your eyes
I'm walking out on you
For the last time
I
Keep my heart aching
Why
Do we keep faking?
I was only lying
When I looked in your eyes
I'm crying diamonds
Like a river inside
And it's so sad, so sexy
So sad, so sexy
I was only lying
When I looked in your eyes
Now I'm lying with you
one last time
And it's so sad, so sexy
So sad, so sexy
Only lying when I looked
in your eyes
Now I'm lying with you
one last time
And it's so sad, so sexy
So sad, so sexy
So sad, so sexy
So sad, so sexy
So sad, so sexy
Our love was a slow dance
Mmm?
Thomas gave this to me
on our wedding day.
Oh!
I think it really suits you.
You sure?
Yeah.
Hannah, it's beautiful.
I love it.
- Are you ready?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
- Okay.
Okay, you're scaring me.
Babe, I am struck silent.
Speechless. Aghast. Bewildered.
I didn't know you could paint
like this.
Yeah.
This piece right here
landed me a spot
in Cooper Union in the fall.
Oh, my God, that's amazing.
Congrats.
I know. Thank you.
You guys are so cute though.
Chris? What are you doing here?
What can I say?
I'm a lover of shitty Merlot.
- I'm shitty Merlot.
- Mm, yeah, my shitty Merlot.
Wait, wait,
you guys are like...?
Just like that.
- A toast.
- Yeah!
- Let's go!
- To our Prince B:
Royal Mess of Makeup and Pop Art
in the roaring twenties.
- Yes.
- And to Sophie,
our generation's
new Sally Mann.
- Oh.
- Oh, thank you.
- And to Nathan...
- Huh?
...for finally getting
over himself.
- Hey!
- Yeah!
That's really cute. Okay.
All right, say, "Cheese."
- Big cheesy cheese.
- Brie!
- Parmesan!
- Parmesan!
Hi.
What are you guys doing here?
B, come on,
let's get you out of here.
This is it?
What?
This letter,
this piece of paper?
Yep.
We're your guardians now.
We're still your siblings,
your parents.
We're a family.
Yeah.
Dear Mom and Dad,
I want you to know
I don't hate you.
And I'm thankful that you're
letting me go right now.
I wish this could be different.
I wish you could just...
...grow up.
We're all in pain.
I know that.
But I gotta deal with my pain
before I can carry yours.
I'm here...
when you're ready to listen
and evolve.
If you want to.
Sometime down the line.
And who knows...
One day, maybe we'll
find each other again.
But it isn't my responsibility
to mend this.
It's yours.
If you want to.
And I wish you all the best.
Is this how
it's gonna be though?
What?
Just like...
one long never-ending life
of coming out.
Maybe.
But also, you don't really owe
all of that to everybody.
An explanation, or...
or all of you.
You know,
f*ck what people think.
You're you.
Perfect.
Beautiful.
Miserable you.
I'm trying to tell you
something 'bout my life
Maybe give me insight
between black and white
And the best thing
you ever done for me
Is to help me
take my life less seriously
It's only life after all
Yeah
Well, darkness has a hunger
that's insatiable
And lightness has a call
that's hard to hear
And I wrap my fear around me
like a blanket
I sailed my ship of safety
till I sank it
I'm crawling on your shores
And I went to the doctor
I went to the mountains
I looked to the children
I drank from the fountains
There's more than one answer
to these questions
Pointing me
in a crooked line
And the less I seek my source
for some definitive
Closer I am to fine, yeah
And I went to see
The doctor of philosophy
With a poster of Rasputin
and a beard down to his knee
He never did marry
or see a B-grade movie
He graded my performance
He said he could see
through me
I spent four years prostrate
to the higher mind
Got my paper and I was free
And I went to the doctor
I went to the mountains
I looked to the children
I drank from the fountains
There's more than one answer
to these questions
Pointing me
in a crooked line
And the less I seek my source
for some definitive
Closer I am to fine, yeah
Closer I am to fine, yeah
I stopped by the bar
at 3:00 a.m.
To seek solace in a bottle
or possibly a friend
And I woke up with a headache
like my head against a board
Twice as cloudy as I'd been
the night before
And I went
in seeking clarity
I went to the doctor
I went to the mountains
I looked to the children
I drank from the fountains
We go to the doctor
We go to the mountains
We look to the children
We drink from the fountain
Yeah, we go to the Bible
We go through the workout
We read up on revival
We stand up for the lookout
There's more than one answer
to these questions
Pointing me
in a crooked line
And the less I seek my source
for some definitive
Closer I am to fine
Closer I am to fine
Closer I am to fine, yeah
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I Wish You All the Best (2024)
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