01x10 - Into the Fire

[bunniefuu]

[theme music playing]

[chuckles]

-Whoa!

-[both scream]

Ah! [screams]

[Norma laughing]

-Ah! No!

-Huh?

Ah!

Ouch!

-[Barney yells]

-[Norma laughs]

[sighs]

-Hey!

-[all scream]

[humming]

Whoa!

-[continues humming]

-Get yourself a piece of goat head.

Ugh! [chuckles]

[dings]

[slurping noisily]

[sighs]

[chuckles]

Everything worked out fine.

[thunder rumbling]

[eerie music playing]

[crows cawing]

[demon chittering]

[snorting]

-[metal clangs]

-[snorts suspiciously]

Hmm.

[gibbering]

[growls softly]

I can't believe Courtney betrayed us.

I can absolutely believe

Courtney betrayed us.

Mom? Dad?

Ugh, they were probably only here

to see me.

-If I hadn't run away--

-Barney, this isn't your fault.

It's Temeluchus'

and Courtney's and Pauline's.

And that new one too, I guess.

Man, we have a lot of enemies.

And Patrick's out there somewhere.

I have to find him.

[sniffing, grunts]

Stay perfectly still.

Their vision is based on movement.

[Barney, muffled] I don't think it is.

[yelps]

[demon shouts]

My bad, I thought I read that

in one of Pugsley's demon books.

[gasps] Wait, of course. The books.

They're back at the house.

Come on, maybe we can

look up a way to beat them.

You go. I-I need to find Patrick.

Okay. Meet me back here in ten minutes.

Unless we get eaten. Then make it 15.

[grunting]

[growling]

[demons cackling]

[straining]

[grunts]

Ugh. Temeluchus, this plane is so grody.

But you always had weird taste.

I didn't have much choice.

It was the only--

[straining]

[Pugsley gasps] I did it. I'm back.

Where am I?

Wait? Where's Barney?

What was that, Tem?

Uh-oh. [clears throat]

[imitating Temeluchus] Where is Barney?

I wish to eat him

because, um, he looks, uh, yummy

and, um… Uh, I haven't eaten in days

and the recommended

daily calorie intake of a pug is…

[yelps]

I can't believe you're in a dog.

[scoffs] It's so stupid.

[yelps]

Norma, you're alive.

What're you guys doing here?

Lockdown procedures. Step one, assemble.

This was the nearest building.

What's step two?

Uh, hide and cower?

Ugh. Who came up with these procedures?

That'd be me, ya little twerps.

Uh, quick question.

Why is Pauline Phoenix green… and dead?

[sobbing]

[Barney] Patrick!

Patrick?

[gasps] Barney?

[Barney] Where are you?

Barney, I'm right here!

[Barney] Where are you?

Patrick!

[gasps, screams]

[cackling]

[Barney panting]

-[continues cackling]

-[screaming]

[Barney grunts]

Huh?

Whoa!

-[demon grunts]

-[Patrick screams and grunts]

-Barney!

-[Barney grunts]

[chuckles] I did it! I actually did it!

[Patrick] Help!

Patrick?

[panting]

-[demons cackling]

-Barney!

[Zagan] This is so boring!

You've gone all quiet, Tem.

I thought this'd be a party.

Remember that little weird dude

who crashed my birthday?

You spun around his organs so that

he had a headache in his butt! [laughs]

[gasps] I did what?

[clears throat]

[imitates Temeluchus] Yeah,

and he was sneezing farts,

like… [makes fart sounds]

[laughs]

[grunts]

Finally.

-Take out's here.

-[Pugsley] No!

[imitates Temeluchus]

Uh, this one is mine.

I call dibs.

He looks so, uh, delicious and adorable.

Pugsley! What's going on?

Pugsley?

[imitating Temeluchus] Oh, um, uh, yes.

It's the human word for, um,

"Oh, great merciful ruler!"

-[Zagan] Merciful?

-Huh?

Dude, you're the Chieftain of Torment.

Eat him!

[gulps]

[chuckles menacingly]

-[screams]

-[whimpers]

Come on, give him a real bite.

I had a big lunch.

I ate a whole orchestra.

I knew it. You're not my brother.

You're an impostor!

Which means the human's mine!

Oh, no, you--

[Temeluchus] Don't! [roars]

Huh?

[groans]

-[demons chittering]

-Ugh!

Pugsley?

That is not my name!

I am the great Demon Chieftain of--

You saved me!

Ugh. So I did.

You've poisoned me, human.

-Poisoned me with affection.

-[demons cackling]

I don't even know what I am anymore.

[Zagan] Exactly.

This plane has gotten to you, Tem.

You're in no position to rule it.

Which means I'm gonna have

to take this plane… [grunts]

by force.

[growls]

[lively music playing]

Hey, it's my welcome home party.

Anyone for karaoke?

Oh, great. Alone. Again.

Maybe I'm the problem.

I'll be your friend.

[Courtney] Nah. I'm great.

No, no! [muffled] No!

Breaking news, Temeluchus and Zagan

of The Demonic Royal Family

have been spotted

fighting in the neutral plane,

otherwise known as the Earth,

Plane 7, or the Realm of Memes.

We go live to our Earth correspondent now.

Uh, w-what are you seeing there, Gord?

[dial-up sounds]

Looks like quite the ruckus. Let's go!

[white noise]

[demons clamoring]

Hey!

[Barney panting]

They took him! They took Patrick!

[gasps]

Right. Everyone,

there is a lost child in the park.

Forget there's demons,

forget there's magic.

Just do your jobs.

You're the security guards. What do we do?

Right. Everyone listen up.

Custodian, you're

on chief demon-bashing duty.

Burgers, Smoothie, stay here

and defend the house.

Impersonator,

Less Convincing Impersonator,

find the survivors,

and get them out of the park.

Ferris Wheel, fan out for Main Street.

Ferris wheel? I have a name.

No time for niceties. Now git.

Nice leadership, but I do think

it helps to learn people's--

Deathslide, you're with me.

Yes, ma'am!

[Norma] And you.

Why should I help you

after you ruined my comeback?

What did I ever do to you?

Actually don't answer that.

You know, the real way to live forever

is by leaving a legacy.

Right now, what's happening in this park,

that's your legacy.

Is this what you want?

Oh, I'll never get what I want.

Give up on me. Everyone else has.

[Norma] Okay.

[both] Good luck.

[sighs wearily]

Uh, when I said we should hang out more,

-this isn't what I had in mind.

-[chittering]

Really?

Oh, yeah, fair enough.

This is exactly what I had in mind.

[Logs screaming]

That's a suplex-able offense!

Ee-yah!

Whoa, nice move!

Yeah, it's, uh, called a suplex.

So that's why I said

suplex-able offense because I--

Yeah, no, I got it. It was cool.

[chuckles nervously] Cool.

The implings must have taken Patrick

to the Demon Kings.

Where would two Demon Kings

wanna call home?

To Camelot!

You only came up to steal my plane!

You've always been jealous! [exclaims]

My little good boy hat!

Get real, Tem. You're busted.

And you can't decide

if you're a demon or a dog.

[growls]

Huh?

When I tell Mom about

what you've been doing, she's gonna flip!

-Shh!

-[Temeluchus] Oh, yeah?

Well, I'll tell her about the--

[grunts] Facelock!

Leg hold!

[chuckles]

Watch out!

No!

[gasps]

[cackling]

How could you?

You monster!

Aw, thanks.

[growls]

[panting]

Huh?

[giggles]

[cackling]

[gasps]

[Zagan] Come one step closer,

and they'll drop your little buddies.

Take me instead.

Oh, I intend to,

but first,

I'm getting my brother out of you.

[elevator dings]

[in sing-song voice] I'm back.

[gasps]

[wind blowing]

Guys? Guys?

Anybody?

[wings flapping]

[demons chittering]

[cackling]

Good. Now that we're all here…

Sit. Stay. Good dog.

The park is ours!

Woop, woop!

[demons cheering]

But this is only the start.

This plane is like ginormous!

Way bigger than the ones down there.

We've got a lot of work to do.

Those upstairs are gonna be pressed

over us conquering the neutral plane.

But when the angels retaliate,

we'll be ready!

[demons cheering]

But first, this beast has held my brother

in its dumb little body long enough.

It's time to put down the dog.

[demons chanting] Zagan! Zagan! Zagan!

Please, Temeluchus,

I know we've not always seen eye-to-eye,

[shivering] but if you just

come back and stop her,

I'll make sure you get

all the belly rubs you ever want.

[screams]

[demons booing]

What?

[Courtney] You rang?

Oh, great. You.

I know, I know.

"Oh, great. It's Courtney,

the one who totally betrayed us."

Look, I know this is rich coming from me,

but you gotta

get back out there and fight!

But how? I can't control Temeluchus.

He's not co-op-- [yelps]

[Zagan] I know you're down there.

Come out and play, little doggy.

[screams] Hey! Wrong demon!

[grunts]

Pugsley, take this.

You're not playing with a full deck.

You only got a little bit of him.

But if I let him take over,

I'm not sure I can come back.

Pugsley, trust me.

Why?

Good point.

[gasps]

[whimpers]

You'll be fine.

[whimpers]

There you are.

Now hold still so I can execute you.

[demons gasp]

[growls]

[grunts]

[all gasp]

[evil laughter]

[Zagan] Ah.

[growls]

[evil laughter]

Hey, Temmy, I was trying to save you,

not execute you.

And look, totally worked and--

You tried to wrestle this plane from me

to steal my glorious conquest!

But that body, you're not yourself.

You changed.

Maybe so.

[grunts]

What are you waiting for?

Get them! [grunts]

[all grunting]

[Zagan yelling]

[demons yelling]

[demons grunting]

[demon 1] Whoa!

[grunting]

[Pauline] Come on, put some back into it.

Oh, hey.

Well, if it isn't my old pal,

big fat liar!

[grunts] What?

Why are you helping?

This park is my legacy.

And I'd rather not have

hundreds of people dying in it.

I'm not having a repeat

of Phoenix Parks Europe!

[yells]

[chuckling menacingly]

[groaning]

Time to say night night, little doggy.

[grunts] Huh?

-[Temuluchus laughing]

-[gasps]

[screams]

[grunting]

No! Not my favorite arm!

[grunts]

Ugh! This isn't fair.

When Mom hears about this,

you're gonna be so dead. Again!

-[elevator dings]

-[whistling]

[demons chittering]

Have fun dealing with

the angels without me.

-[demons snickering]

-[elevator dings]

[gasps] We did it! We did it!

[thunder rumbling]

[evil laughter]

The neutral plane is mine once again.

[evil laughter]

[unenthusiastic] Yay, we're saved. Hooray.

[evil laughter]

No! Stop!

Ah, little Red.

So desperately lonely,

you befriended humans.

How does it feel to be at rock bottom

and still find a way to fall?

[grunts]

[Courtney] Interesting.

Sounds like you know the feeling.

[growls]

It's okay. You can stop pretending.

[groans]

Yeah, do it.

[growls]

Okay.

[growling]

Uh-huh. Do it.

[growling]

No, I can't.

I don't understand.

Yeah, you do.

Because that little piece of you

that stayed in Pugsley

got to see everything he did.

Barney's Sunday morning

blueberry pancakes,

Norma's TV viewing parties slash lectures,

and the cuddles.

You learned to love humans

alongside Pugsley and alongside me.

[growling]

[panting]

Uh, you okay?

What have you done to me?

I'm tellin' ya, humans are contagious.

They got a way

of gettin' under your scales.

But it's not so bad if you let it happen.

[gags, retches]

[gasps]

[Temeluchus groaning]

He's gonna be fine.

I'll try patching things up

with my sister.

Give her a few kingdoms or something.

Families are hard. Don't stress about it.

You sure you don't wanna come back down?

I could give you diplomatic immunity.

I've got everything I need

right here, Your Majesty.

[Temeluchus] Mm-hmm.

[groans]

Huh? [gasps]

Sorry.

Logs!

Barney, are you okay?

I was so scared. I thought--

I thought

I was never gonna get a chance to…

[both giggle]

You're welcome. You're welcome, darlings.

How's that for a comeback, huh?

I saved you all.

Yes. It was me.

[woman] Wow, those kids were amazing.

They saved us.

[man] Never a huge fan of Pauline,

but these kids.

Ah, forget it.

[Roxie] Sweetie!

Mom, Dad.

I'm so glad you're okay.

We're glad you're okay too.

I'm not sure exactly what we watched.

But, uh, it was amazing.

Uh, we kind of keep things

to ourselves here, darlin'. [chuckles]

Look, honey. I owe you an apology.

-Mom--

-No, let me finish.

I've been so worried about keeping

the peace with Grammy Gram

that I wasn't thinking

about how it was affecting you.

I think running away might be

a Guttman family trait.

I'm scared of confronting my mom too.

Oh, Grammy Gram is way scarier

than you. [chuckling]

Right? She nearly blew her top

when you shaved your head, Roxie.

You did what?

Oh, I was a kid.

Well, I was about your age, actually.

Look Grammy Gram is

a very interesting person, you know.

But that doesn't make it okay

for her to treat you like that.

I can come to Friday night dinners.

It's fine.

No, it's not.

And you're not having

another dinner with her

until she realizes what she did.

We'll talk to her.

We have your back from now on.

I'm sorry we didn't before.

Maybe Saturday night dinners

can be our thing though.

Plus I want to know what's been going on.

[chuckles nervously]

Sure you don't want to come with us?

It's kind of a mess here.

[chuckles] That's why I fit in.

[Pugsley] Barney?

Pugsley, you're okay.

Uh, wha-what even happened?

It was Courtney. She stopped Temeluchus.

She saved everyone.

Courtney? But she--

Betrayed you? Abandoned you?

Left you for dead?

Yeah. I know.

I didn't know what I had until I didn't.

I'm not expecting you to forgive me…

You came home.

[sniffles] Oh. Jeez.

Come on, guys.

I didn't say stop.

-[laughs]

-So what's gonna happen?

Well, my shift starts in three hours.

So I'm taking a power nap. [yawns]

I meant more conceptually,

like we kind of just saved

the park right there.

This is the biggest day of our lives.

Is it? I thought it was Tuesday.

[chuckles]

[all laughing]

Oh, I'll get you, my pretties.

When you're least expecting it,

I'll sneak up behind you and--

[Angel] Who are you talking to?

Excuse me--

The threat was eliminated.

Demon Invasion canceled.

I think these humans might be

the ones we've been looking for.

Maybe it's time

those upstairs paid them a visit.

[elevator dings]

[theme music playing]