01x03 - Double Axel

[bunniefuu]

Done. I just posted it.

Look.

Fifteen likes and
it's been two seconds.

He's got a double chin!

Wow. How long have
I been asleep for?

You spent the whole
night on the couch.

- What?
- I was just kidding. Ten minutes.

- Hello.
- You're here already?

Did Mom tell you
she has a surprise?

Maybe she brought
us a miniature pig.

What game is this?

It's the Smiths. It's so good.

See, I've got a nice house

with these big trees and
everything you could want,

and there are characters and you
can make them do real life stuff.

- Get your big, stinky feet out of here.
- They don't stink.

I washed them a week ago.

That one's me.

So this is you on the throne?
- Yeah.

And who's he
standing next to you?

It's Alexis, the neighbor.
He's my boyfriend.

But shh, Clara's jealous.

Ah. Okay.

And the girl fanning
you, who's that?

That one's you.

Ta-da!

- Hello, everyone.
Hey.

So what's the surprise?

All right. Thank you, honey.

This right here is a
personal virtual assistant.

- It's ah-mazing.
- Huh?

With this, the whole family
will finally be organized.

There's no need.

Honestly, I have everything
in my head. Seriously.

Yes, however, all of us here
know you can be a bit...

- A bit what?
- Get a bit overwhelmed.

- Never.
- However. Now, with Axel,

you just need to
synchronize the calendars.

All right, now.
Give me your phone.

Thank you.

Let's begin.

Hello. I am Axel, your
virtual personal assistant.

Axel, tell me the schedule
for Victoire for the weekend.

Victoire needs to
practice the guitar.

So, you schedule
things like this. Uh...

- A-ku-sel...

Sun-day fa-mi-ly

skate outing-uh.

- Careful. On Sunday...
- Ah.

-Fred wrote down in his
calendar: -FRED: Huh?

Repeat showing of Babe: A
Little Pig Goes a Long Way.

Oh, well. Yeah, uh...

Mmm. What are you doing, girls?

We're synchronizing
Axel to our phones.

I'm gonna see how Marie-Ange
did it with yours.

No, no, no, no. Please
don't touch my phone.

Papa, the code isn't
my birthday anymore?

Mmm-mmm-mmm. I changed it.

- You'll never guess what it is.
- One-two-three-four, maybe?

One, two, three, four.
Real tricky, Papa.

And why are you
synchronizing all the phones?

It's really practical.

I'll connect it to the Smiths and
it'll to remind me to feed my pigs.

Hello, Axel. My name's
Victoire, and that's Romy.

Nice to meet
you, Victoire.

Nice to meet you, Romy.

Congratulations, Romy.

Your miniature pigs
will soon be adults.

You'll be able to
go find truffles.

- Yes! It's synchronized!
- This is great, see?

- Why are you crying, Daddy?
- No, it's just the onions.

Why do they make people cry?

Oh, it's
not the onions.

It's because you figured
out my code. I'm so sad.

Wrong, Fred. It's
a chemical reaction

with the lacrimal
fluid within the eye.

See? It's awesome.
It knows so much.

- It's super-intelligent.
- It's also pretentious.

He doesn't understand
how jokes work.

You're jealous.

Yeah, sure. Did I show
you the new DIY I did?

No. Let me see.

I'll show you. Can you see it?

Laura. Laura!
- Yeah, what?

You come in the room with
no hello or anything?

I'm talking to Ourie right now.

- You also have a family, Clara.
- Yeah, yeah.

Wait. How about now?

- Hello, everyone.
- Hello.

It's a hair band I weaved
from old pantyhose.

- Clara?
- Yeah?

May I finish?

Ah. Excuse me. Sorry.

I'm worried about Clara.

On one hand, she's very
secretive and barely says a word.

And on the other hand,
whoever she's FaceTiming,

we can hear everything they're
saying. It's just...

Yeah, yeah, but teenagers
are very contradictory.

It's classic.

The problem has nothing
to do with the phones,

it's how we use them
that's the issue.

Yep.

Hmm?

No, please continue. You
stopped right in the middle.

Well, I think Clara's definition of
privacy is just a little bit loose.

What are you saying?

Earlier I was taking a shower and
she came in FaceTiming with Ouria.

Wow.

Yeah. Phew. It's bad, isn't it?

- What I want to say is...
- Yeah.

It's not easy for children
to understand the concept

- of what privacy is.
- Of course.

Social media on our phones,
we're sharing all the time.

So it's important for Clara
and the girls to understand the

that other people need to
have their secret garden

in order to shape their
personalities harmoniously.

All right. Is there
a hidden meaning?

You're doing this thing with your hand
that look like a triangle, so I'm.

That's why I
don't talk about it.

- Come on now, I'm just kidding.
- Hmm.

But listen, I'll talk to Clara

and then I'll install a
lock on the bathroom door.

- You'll have privacy.
- Thank you.

You see, huh? I did good.

- Good night.
- What do you mean?

What do I mean "good
night"?

- No, not good night.
- Not good night?

Hello, Victoire. Did
you sleep well last night?

Well, I had a dream
that was really weird.

I was being chased
by a whale and I run,

but since I didn't have any
teeth, I couldn't eat it.

Hmm. Interesting.

Thanks, Axel.

Did you see that video
of my dad drooling?

Dude, I'm making more for sure.

Papa, look! A new baby pig
is born and it's so cute.

Yeah. Yeah.
- Clara?

- Of course.
- Could you please...

- I'll call you back.
- Good.

We have our limits
in this family.

We have our privacy and
you have your privacy.

The way you've been
using your phone,

you're creating a relationship
with intimacy that's... that's...

How can I explain this?

We all have our secret
garden of double chins.

It's great you like
taking pictures.

That's great and
everything, but it's not...

No. Because

our double chin secret
garden must stay

harmonious and secret.

It's personal.

It's personal, wouldn't you say?

Oh. Well, what your father wants to
say is that there are private things

that shouldn't get out
of the sphere of privacy.

Exactly what I said. That's it.

Congratulations, Romy.

- Your pigs found 20 kilos of truffles.
- Yes!

You're talking about privacy,
but Romy's recreating our family

in an online game and
sharing it with her school.

- She hasn't done that.
- She's totally done that.

- They're just characters. They're not...
- Hand that over.

Oh, yeah. So the chick in
the carriage isn't you?

And isn't the
servant Emmanuelle?

And it's funny,

in the pigsty, there are
two little female pigs.

There's Victoire
and one with bangs.

So I guess that's me.

- What about me?
Well, you're...

- What am I?
I don't think you're there.

- I'm not there?
Congratulations, Romy.

You can now go to the market
to trade your truffles.

Yes!

You're addicted. Look
at you. You're shaking.

I'm not addicted at all.

There you go.

Anyway, I don't even care.

Addicted. Not at all!

Open the Smiths.

Unable to comply.

"Female, nine years old."

"Hyperactivity symptoms.
Addiction to video games."

That's me, though.

"Often experiences
trouble sleeping"

"and nocturnal enuresis."

Axel, what is enuresis?

Enuresis is the
loss of bladder control.

In children it is commonly called
"going pee pee in the bed."

What?

Speaker activated.

- Mmm.
- Mmm. Okay. Let's go.

- Oh. Wait, wait, wait.

- Hello.
Hello, Emmanuelle?

I wanted to let you know that I
received your latest chapters.

I'll read them this weekend
and send feedback on Sunday.

- Sounds great. Thank you for...
- Emmanuelle? Hello?

Is it impossible for you
all to be quiet for once?

I'll call another time then.

- That's great. I look forward to it.
- Bye, Emmanuelle.

He got annoyed because I
posted one video on my account.

No way.

This Canadian chick thinks
she's our mom. Such a know-it-all.

She brainwashed him
with her shrink stuff.

Are we jogging or
not? What's wrong?

- I've already run 500 meters.
- Yeah, jogging.

Okay, let's go.

- Dad's back!
- Papa!

I've been waiting
for you for hours.

Yeah, yeah. Hours would be
great, but it's been 13 minutes.

Come on. Hey, calm down.
What's going on in here?

- Look.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Have you seen? Here's proof
that Emma researched us.

Your girlfriend is
using us as guinea pigs.

- Is this Emmanuelle's work?
- Just look. Read here.

Who does that sound like?

"Codependent attachments.
Father and child."

"Addicted to video games."

"Recurring problems
with nocturnal..."

Nocturnal enuresis? Yes. And?

You told her I was
wetting my bed?

No, I didn't.

Ah! Yes, I talked about it
at the co-owner meeting.

I also sent a group
message to all my contacts.

But nothing else. Ah, yes!

I also organized a huge
demonstration against pee on Sunday.

It's gonna be great. There
will be sausages.

It was because I drink too
much, and it was two years ago.

Just calm down.

Stop!

Stop! Hey, Romy, calm down!

Stop it. Calm down.

Oh, no! This is
worse than I thought.

Emma must have gone
through my stuff.

- It's the only other place I said it.
- That's not true.

It was in my personal diary!

- That's enough. That's nonsense.
- It's not nonsense. Look.

She's not going
through your stuff.

She's not using you
for her dissertation.

All right? Come on.

Get out! Get out! That's enough.

Go on, out.

"Shock from the divorce
of the parents."

"Absent father."

What? "Massive
lack of authority"?

Hey, Daddy. Weird face.

No, this is my normal one.

That's what
she said.

- Jonas isn't here tonight?
- No, he's at a friend's.

- Oh.
- I'm gonna play The Smiths.

I thought you were done with it.

I was done with it, but my pigs
haven't eaten in five hours.

Come on, Vic, we'll get codes from
Axel to unlock new characters.

I'm going, too. Got
to call Ouria back.

- Goodnight. Goodnight, Ines.
- Goodnight.

Goodnight.

Love you.

- What's wrong with my darling?
- What happened with you and Clara?

It's nothing serious.

She posted a video of her
drooling dad to the world.

- It was so good. So good, yeah.
That was amazing.

- It was hilarious.
- Oh, you'll love the next one.

Puking Dad.

Yeah. So great. And
much more committed.

Yeah, I can see.

Anyway, we had a
talk. She's in a mood.

It'll be fine in two days.

Mmm, I don't know.

I feel like she felt your remark on
privacy was coming from me, in a way.

I wouldn't worry about it.

No, Clara's very easygoing.

- She'll get mad but calm down fast.
- Like her mother.

- Well, yeah, like me.
- She's not like that with me.

- Oh, yeah?
- It's true. Mmm.

I don't get mad often, do I?

- Tomorrow we go to the skating rink.
Mmm-hmm.

- Don't worry. It'll be fine.
Just give it some time.

Emma... Uh-uh. Eva,
go clean up the pens.

Uh, Romy, stop with
the Smees, please.

Please stop?

It's the Smiths.
It's not that hard to say.

- It's the Smix?
Smix?

Seems like there's a small integration
problem with the girls, huh?

The girls have a really strong
child-father attachment relationship.

- But that's normal.
Yeah, of course.

Yeah.

Daddy, can I
take Axel to my room?

- Daddy?
- Yeah, yeah. Okay.

Sorry, I was thinking about the
shoes I'll wear tomorrow at the rink.

- Well, skates.

- Oh, yeah, of course. You're right.
- Yeah.

Yeah. No, she's probably right.

Uh, come on, girls, go to the
bathroom and go to bed. Let's go.

Why did you look at
me when you said that?

Well, Romy, as far as I'm aware,
you are still one of the girls.

So all girls, go pee.

No.

Mmm... Mmm?

Mmm.

"Huge lack of authority that could lead
to repeated under performing at school."

What?

"Father is
obsessive-compulsive,"

"forcing him to walk seven
times around his house..."

"Before entering or switching off
the light 12 times before leaving."

No, no, no.

Oh, that's bad.

Oh, that's bad.

That's bad. No, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no.

Oh!

No, no, no, no!

No.

Oh!

That's worse. That's much worse.

Why? Why, why?

Why?

Why?

Why?

Victoire, would you rather
have cardboard legs or foam arms?

Good morning.

Hi. How are you?

- How are you?
- I'm fine.

- Did you sleep?
- Yes, I did.

It's just... that I can't go
to the skating rink with you today.

- Aww.
- Yeah, because.

a patient called me.

She has neck problems. It's
urgent, really, if I don t see her.

- Well...
- Yeah, I'm so disappointed.

It's all right, we'll go later.

And besides, I have a lot
of work for my dissertation.

No, no, no. You have to go.

You'll have fun. You'd
be crazy not to go.

You got ready. You love skating.

You'll have so much
fun with the girls.

- Isn't that right, ladies?
- I'm not going.

Mainly because
skating is for losers.

And I have homework
to finish with Axel.

I already to Ouria
I was going, so...

Well, that's awesome.
I love your enthusiasm.

That's a great attitude.

Clara, you'll have so much fun.

You'll spend some time
with her. It'll be win-win.

It'll be so much fun.

You need to go now because
there's a bus in ten minutes

- and it comes once every ten minutes.
- All right.

Okay.

Victoire, would you
rather eat caterpillars

or wear wet socks all year long?

No.
No, not happening.

We're gonna be
awesome skaters.

- Don't worry, we'll be great.
- Of course we will.

- Sorry. We'll skate on our own, all right?
- Whoo!

Oh, yeah. Okay.

- You good? Let's go.
- I'll leave you two alone.

Come on!

Let go of me. I'm going to fall!

You said you were
good at skating.

No, I know how to move
forward. I didn't say good.

Clara, your center of gravity.

- What?
- Never mind.

You're good.

- Whoo!
- Yeah, yeah.

Okay, okay. Yeah, come on.

- Oh, my God, oh, my God.
- What's wrong? What's wrong?

I'm gonna die. It's Alexis.

How are they? How are they?

- What?
- My bangs.

- Are they all right?
- Yeah, you're good.

What are you doing?

Wait. Come back!

So you called your
homeboy, Stan.

- It's a disaster. Just a disaster.
- Uh, should I...

It's a disaster.

I'm done for.

I spilled some water.

What is this? I...

I never said pasta. I
said rice. It's absorbent.

- What's the difference?
- The starch.

Surely it also works with pasta.

I picked the most
absorbent ones.

No, it won't. No it won't.

Water is a PC's kryptonite.

- Her dissertation's on it.
- What were you doing? What?

Her dissertation's on it.

- You're joking.
- She's been working on this for weeks.

Oh!

- That's not good, bro.
- Oh, yeah. You think?

- Oh, yeah, it is.
- You think? Yeah?

She's gonna dump me.
She's going to dump me.

Imagine spending that
much time working...

You know what? I'll tell her.

I'll tell her I'm sorry, and
she'll make her choice then.

Now wait a second. What's
with the losing attitude?

No, no. You need to stay
positive.

- Positive.
- You're right, you're right.

- You're right. I'll find a solution.
- There you go.

No, but now the
computer is dead.

But stay positive.

Wait. Holidays, tennis...

Ah, there you are!

Something serious is
happening, and we need to act.

You know that pink box in my
room where my diary's kept?

- Yes.
- Well, I set a trap with cocoa,

'cause I saw it in this
awesome Christmas movie.

So when your Emmanuelle tried
to come to steal my secrets,

it'll go bam! She'll get
a face full of cocoa.

Hey, wait. What are
you doing in there?

Uh, we're finishing a
dish he offered to make.

- Oh, yeah.
- From his home region.

It's uh... It's from
the southwest area,

and it's really... Oh, yeah.

It's looking great so far.

Hey, there, Vic.

Could I borrow Axel? Because
you have it all the time.

I was just thinking that maybe
I could use it too, for a day.

Great idea. You'll
learn how it works.

- Oh, cool.
- You'll see he knows a lot about you.

Oh, that's cool.

Hey, Axel, so how would
I repair a computer

on which I spilled tons of
water like a massive idiot?

And I tried everything, and
now all I want to do is cry.

In your neighborhood,

I found the solution
to your problem.

- Yes.
- Lola Grandini.

- Huge gamer.
- Okay, go on.

And she was in the under-18
Major League Gaming Final.

She repairs any computer, electronic
device, and connected device.

- Okay.
- Wow.

It takes her under 18
years to repair a computer?

That's too long.

Why are you laughing?

You're kidding, right?

Do you think he left? I
don't see him anywhere.

Oh, no.

I got a video of
the whole thing.

It was awesome.

Could I get your number
and send it to you?

You have to post that.

It'll be a like factory.

- Did you see how she fell?
- Yeah.

Cool, thanks.

- Bye.
- Later.

- Are you okay?
- I'm fine.

Thank you, Emmanuelle.

- For what?
- I got Alexis's number for that.

Well, if I need to fall
so you can get a number,

that's not too bad.

Before you ate it, you
were skating really well.

We were blown away.

When I was your age, I was on the Gaspé
figure skating team, so that's why.

Why'd you stop?

Well, you know, I was good, but
I ruffled my teammates' feathers.

I was a bit of a know-it-all.

Hmm.

- Totally could see that.

Okay, so I changed
out the battery.

You were really lucky.

It's the only component that's not linked
to the motherboard and the rest of the PC.

That's great.

That's funny because I have
this story about a motherboard

who got in a fight
with the father board

'cause the stepfather board
didn't bring the car back in time,

and they brought it
back on Thursday.

They were really...

All right, this is
great. It means it works.

And what's better is that the
hard drive wasn't damaged,

so the data's safe.

Hey, I have safe data?

- Yeah.
- That's great news.

Yeah, we'll go again.

Ah, that way, that
way. That way.

- What are you doing?
- That's the way.

- Sir...
- Now we're ready to unblock

the seventh vertebra.

There we go. There it went.
It should be better now.

It's gone and done
now, which is great,

so thank you so much.

And for now, don't forget
to drink a lot of fluids.

- Lots of water.
- Careful with water.

- It really is the kryptonite of computers.
- Yes.

- Make sure you drink water...
- It could happen again.

And take time to lie down.

The problem will come back
if you don't quit, right?

- It would affect the motherboard.
- Have a good evening.

Wow.

Did you just pay your patient?

- I didn't pay her.
- You did.

- Didn't I really? What?
- Yeah. You definitely did.

Well, guess I'm tired.

Will you tell him, or can I?

Oh, go ahead. Have fun.

Watch this.

- That's hilarious.

Here, proof Emmanuelle
went through my stuff.

Come on, read it.

- All right.
- Calm down.

"Dear Diary."

"I wet the bed because
I drink too much,"

"and Romy+Alexis = love."

Wait, Romy. I don't understand.

I've never even seen your diary.

I saw your
dissertation about us.

And that you read my diary
to find out all my secrets.

- Wait a second. Stop it.
- What are you saying?

You talked about a tyrannical
girl with a video game addiction.

And you thought that was you.

Oh, it wasn't at
all. Not at all.

It's just a little girl
I studied in Canada.

And Alexis you told me about
when you were playing The Smiths.

Oh, yeah.

Romy.

Romy.

Romy?

Romy, that Canadian girl has
nothing at all to do with you.

She has really
significant problems.

You, you're just a little girl
who's very energetic and determined.

A girl who's close to her
family, who's courageous.

You might be overly fixated on
miniature pigs, but they're cool.

And that little girl,

does she know how to make
slimy paste with chewing gum?

Um...

Because I know how.

This is just incredible.

Romy actually thought my
dissertation was all about her.

That's kids for you.
That's just how they are.

Speaking of, I should have
feedback from my advisor.

Wow. I'm curious to see.

It works, at least.

Well, because that's
a working computer.

I mean, you recharge
the battery of course.

It's not working.

But it should be working.

Fred?

- But you...
- What? What is it?

- Why are you looking at me?
- I don't know. I just...

Well, I don't know
what happened.

What's going on?

Why in the world
will you not work?

All right, I'll admit it. I spilled
water on it, but it's because of Romy.

Uh, with your dissertation.
What you said.

She was always talking about it,

about how there's a
father lacking authority.

And so I thought it must be me,
that you're talking about me.

And so I felt panicked about it.

Oh, God. Do you realize I'm
going to have to k*ll you?

Do you realize the latest part
of my dissertation was on this

and I didn't back it up?

- My whole life was on this.
- I'm sorry.

- I'm sorry. I know, I know.
- No, no, no.

What's the name of the file?

Part two, Chapter
three. Why, Victoire?

Vic, now's really
not a good time.

- No, no, no, no, no!
- Hey, hey.

It's still in your head.

- Is that it?
Part two, Chapter three.

Yes, it is.

How did you do that, Vic?

How did you do that?

Well, since we connected
everything to Axel,

when you saved on your computer,
it also saved on Axel's cloud.

That's my daughter.
That's my daughter!

That is my kid.

- Muah, muah. Thank you.
- That is my daughter.

That is my daughter.

Axel's the one
you need to thank.

- Axel...
- No, it was you, Vic. You're great.

You're just like your daddy.

- Thank you.
- Thank you, Emma.

She got nothing from her mother.

It's crazy. That's my Vic.

- Well, that worked out great, you know?

It synchronizes.

That's such a great
quality for it to have.

- Uh, wait. Mmm.
- Is there anything else...

Hang on. Hang on now.

You thought I was spending all this
time writing my dissertation on you,

and you went through my
computer like it's no big deal?

Actually, a lot of dissertations
have been written about me before,

- because look, I'm quite fascinating.
- Fred.

- Fred.
- I'm really sorry.

Before we lecture the girls on
respecting people's privacy,

we need to apply
it to ourselves.

When we have doubts,
we can talk them out.

- Yes, we will.
- We've got a text from Alexis.

- You have to look at his gif.
- Yeah!

- You wanna see it?
- Yeah.

- A gif?
- Yeah, of you.

- It's "gif", with a "guh."
- Whatever.

This is pure gold
for social media.

I get it. I promise not to
send it to all my contacts.

Sending media
to all contacts.

Oh, no. No!

- No.
- I'm so sorry.

That's a serious
flaw of that robot.

- Right.
- We're turning it off.

- Thank you.
- I'll let you tell Victoire.

Vi-ca-toire.

We had a lot of fun together,

but now you need to learn
on your own without my help.

But what'll I do
without you, Axel?

You know, my daughter...

I... I mean, little girl,

know that I have things to do,
and you also have a life to live.

Let us part as good friends.

Hang on. I'm second.

I'm stuck and can't remember.
The layer beneath the, uh,

lithosphere is
called what again?

- Axel?
- Yeah.

Um, yes. I did not
understand your question.

The layer that's
under the lithosphere.

Can you tell me what
it's called again?

I...

Uh...

This... this layer,

it is named the undercoat.

You were messing with me.

But guess what.

It is... to mess
with you-ooh-ooh.

And I'm gonna make
it worth my while.

The undercoat layer

is also called the Verdier layer

due to its discoverer,
Mr. Verdier.

Mr. Verdier was an old person...

It's all right, Daddy. I already
knew it. It's the as the no sphere.

That was it. That was it.
I was gonna say that next.

It'll be all right without Axel.
Besides, you need it the most.

No, I don't think I do.

- I don't need it.
- Yeah.

You don't know why
onions make you cry.

- That's 'cause...
- You can't get organized.

Well, if it just...

And you break computers.

That one's just a hobby of mine.

This is for you.