01x03 - Andy

[bunniefuu]

[woman] Can you see him?

Are you with him?

What does he want?

Ask him the question.

"What do you want from me?"

[suspenseful music cl*max]

What are you doing?

It'sit's an inner child visualisation

technique.

Yeah, are you a psych?

A trained psychologist?

No.

Then I don't really think you should be

taking wild stabs

at people's childhood traumas.

The details of this session

were in your treatment plan.

[sighs] It's easy to call yourself

a healer, isn't it?

To prey on people's pain?

[hesitates] II wasn't trying

to do that--

Spa, sauna, massage.

Stick to the bullshit you're good at.

Shirt.

-What?

-Give me my shirt.

[theme music]

[birds tweeting]

[hens clucking]

[inhales and exhales deeply]

[deep exhale]

f*ck.

[woman] You dropped your thingy.

-Keep it.

-Cool.

Probably get at least a couple

of hundred dollars for it on eBay.

Ahuh.

[woman] You've touched it

with your famous hands.

People are perverse.

Can I have some of that?

I'm Andy.

-I'm Hedwig.

-Uh-huh.

You look like a Hedwig.

So what are you apatient here?

No.

I live here.

[scoffs] With the mystic?

You're not like some kind of

shaman in training are you?

[Hedwig] I just help out and she gets

a fake daughter

until the real daughter comes back

from New York.

[Andy] Uh-huh.

So do you have the number

for a dealer or

Someone discrete?

[Hedwig] What do you need?

I could get some for you.

You don't look like a dealer.

Give us your phone then.

They'd have to come in the back way.

f*cking paparazzi are staking out

the front of my place.

Text me.

There's a path. I'll give you directions.

OK.

For some reason I feel like

I can trust you.

[mystic] Everything OK?

[Andy] Everything's perfect.

[car door slams]

[playful carnival music plays]

[phone ringing]

[woman] Where've you been?

I've been trying to contact you for days.

How's the new house?

-You picked this?

-Of course I did.

- I had Serge do the decor.

- Oh, it's a f*cking mausoleum.

You could be in prison, remember?

How's the wellness place?

-[woman 2] Hello?

-It's a bunch of arseholes.

-You staying clean?

-Ah, yeah, sorry, gotta go Leila.

Great. Thanks. There's an extra hundred

in there for you.

Nice house.

You think?

Na, not really.

[thunder rumbles]

That's a very frank stare

you've got there.

Ahh, f*ck!

It's all over now.

So where do you live when you're not

with the mystic?

[Hedwig] A house.

A house.

What kind of house?

A gingerbread house.

So, what's it like being an actor?

Oh, f*ck.

I think it's the most beautiful

form of expression.

[Andy] Oh you do, do you?

You fragile and needy?

-No.

-Too bad.

Would've helped.

I brought you something.

What is it?

It's my audition tape. I'm applying

for acting school.

Oh.

You're a little hustler, aren't you?

What did you bring your CV too?

Most f*cking entrepreneurial dealer

I've ever met.

I met a lot of dealers.

Just forget about it.

-Let's put it on, shall we?

-Give it back.

Forget it.

[Andy] Aren't you gonna hang around

for the Oscar performance?

Hope you've got your f*cking speech

prepared!

-[rain pouring]

-[thunder rumbling]

Come on! I thought you weren't fragile.

[traditional Chinese music plays]

[phone ringing]

Who's the director?

[Leila] Uh, the writer. She's French.

And first-time director.

Jesus Christ.

And you'll need to test.

Oh, forget it. I don't test.

You do now, Andy.

The offer is conditional.

They want you to fly to Sydney--

No, no. I haven't tested in years, Leila.

Forget it, I don't f*cking test.

[Leila] [sighs] This is literally the

first time my phone has rung for you

since this whole clusterfuck started.

m*therf*ckers! God damn it. Hey!

-[Leila] Stop shouting!

-Call the police!

Move it, now!

[man] [laughs] Dolan, mate!

[man laughing]

Have a look at this guy!

Bathrobe and all, eh?

[Andy] Ben.

-Long time.

-[Ben] Long time alright.

Heard about your whole shitstorm, mate.

Yeah.

Nice place.

Uhm, got a call about a couple

of paparazzi trespassing or?

No. It's all good. They uh, they left, so.

You sure? I mean, I'm happy to look

around.

Yeah, no. Sorry you had to come up here,

it's fine.

OK.

Andy?

We should go for a wave.

Yeah, like the old days.

The old days.

Yeah.

-Sounds good. I'll text you.

-I've got your number.

[ringing tone]

[Leila] Yes, Andy.

Send me the script. I'll take a look.

But they come to me.

[ringing tone]

[answering machine] Hi, this is Hedwig.

I'm not around. Text me.

Hedwig, it's Andy.

Uhm

I-I thought you might wanna help me run

some lines. It'd really help me out.

So I watched your audition tape.

Oh yeah?

-What do you think of the script?

-Pretty corny.

Any questions about the scene?

Thoughts?

[American accent] Spare me the self-pity

you needy f*ck.

I don't want to hear it.

- [American accent] I messed up.

-You blew up our entire life, as*h*le.

I'm sorry Polly, what else can I say?

You're just a hunk of meat that got lucky.

We had a good run.

It's over.

That's all I was to you anyway.

Stepping stone on your way

to something better.

Can't say or blame you, I guess.

Anything's better than rock-bottom.

[Hedwig] Jesus.

What are you do gonna do

when your looks fade

and nobody remembers your name?

Maybe I'll k*ll myself.

-[Hedwig] You don't have the guts.

-I'm serious, Polly.

Guess I picked a good time to say goodbye

then.

[gentle music plays]

I have a proposition for you.

You could go down on me if you wanted to.

I mean, you could pay meto.

[laughs] I don't need to pay for sex.

You pay for drugs,

all the things you like.

Just thought you might enjoy

going down on me every once in a while.

I'd get off on it too.

How much?

$1000.

["Mockingbird" by Wild Belle plays]

[sighing]

Caution he dangerous

Well my sweet little honey got away ♪

Stop him the load is black

For my sweet little honey not to play ♪

It's a mystery where did he go? ♪

He disappeared nobody knows ♪

Dead or alive, you can't take my baby

away from me ♪

Thanks.

I'll send you my bank details.

Mockingbird ♪

Touching up on my door ♪

You say go back, go back

Now I'm a one man show ♪

[gloomy music plays]

[doorbell rings]

-Tallulah!

-What the f*ck is this?

OK.

[Tallulah] You're supposed to be getting

clean. You pathetic wad of sh*t.

I got an order out.

Eh, come on. Please!

Please don't do this to me right now.

-[baby cries]

-I'm getting clean. I swear.

Hi Jane. You didn't have to bring your

mother, you know.

-Hey baby, it's Daddy.

-[baby wailing]

Hey darling.

-I messed up.

-You messed up?

You blew up our entire lives, arsehole.

I'm sorry, Tallulah. What else do you

want me to do, huh? k*ll myself?

-You don't have the guts.

-I'm serious.

Hey! Tallulah!

[doorbell rings]

[man] Yes, hello.

Hi, it's David Cohen here. We're here

for Andy Dolan for the audition.

[David] You're looking well.

[woman speaking French]

[laughs] Oui Oui.

She says she likes your choice

on the robe. Very bold. I agree.

Sowhenever you're ready.

Action.

[casting woman] Spare me the self-pity,

you needy f*ck. I don't want to hear it.

II messed up.

Messed up? You blew up

our entire life, as*h*le.

I'm sorry, Pol.

What else can I say?

[casting woman] Nothing.

You're a hunk of meat that got lucky.

We had a good run. It's over.

That's all I was to you anyway.

A spring board.

A stepping stone on your way

to something better.

Can't say I blame you, I guess.

Anything's better than rock-bottom.

[casting woman] Jesus.

What are you gonna do when your looks fade

and nobody remembers your name?

Well maybe I'll

[sombre music plays]

[haunting vocal music plays]

[jarring trumpet music plays]

It's okay now.

[serene music plays]

[phone alert tone]

[ringing tone]

[Hedwig] Hey, Andy.

I'm at the headland.

[Hedwig] Are you OK?

I'm not that good.

[Hedwig] Stay there. I'm coming.

Andy, let's go.

[sombre music plays]

Do you want me to call anyone? Like

A friend or family or anything?

No, everyone's tired of me.

I'm tired of me.

Let me go.

Will you stay with me for a little while?

[birds chirping]

Wanna swap bodies?

No thanks. Penises are cumbersome.

They are.

Sorry about yesterday's histrionics.

I understand.

-You do?

-Mm-hmm.

Why are you sad?

What?

What happened to you?

Who did it to you?

I have a spare room.

I have a lot of spare rooms actually.

You could come live here for a little

while if you like.

[upbeat electronic music plays]

I don't understand but

It's OK. I promise.

[Hedwig] Call you later.

-Who's that guy?

-My friend.

I don't usually tell strangers

about the back path.

He's cool.

Well

Welcome home.

-Is that a cat?

-Leslie.

I f*cking hate cats.

[upbeat Ukrainian folk music plays]

Hey! There she is.

Good news. You got the part.

f*ck. Good.

-I got the movie.

-Yay!

Got to start getting fit. sh**ting on the

Amalfi coast in February.

You should uh, you should come with me.

You could be mywhatever.

You should just come with me.

Sounds good.

Who are you texting all the time?

Well, do I get a congratulatory discount?

No.

I never asked you

what you're saving for.

Freedom.

[relaxing music plays]

Can I help you?

Can I help you?

This is private property.

There it is. And here it isn't.

Well, I'm asking you to f*ck off.

[suspenseful music plays]

Hedwig!

And where the f*ck you going?

-Seeing friends.

-What friends?

I have friends, Andy.

Oh, you do? Well then, we should have them

over for dinner. I'd love to meet them.

When will you be back?

When I come back.

[answering machine] Hi, this is

Hedwig. I'm not around. Text me.

[Andy sniffing]

Hi, this is Hedwig.

Hi, this is Hedwig. I'm not around.

Text me.

Hi, this is Hedwig. I'm not around.

Text me.

[eastern music plays on tv]

[cat purring]

[eerie music plays]

[eerie music continues]

[tense music plays]

Did you get a good look?

Does he pay you or do you give it

to him for free?

Hedwig! Hedwig! What's in the bag?

What's in the f*cking bag?

What the f*ck is all this, huh?

What is he, your boyfriend? Your pimp?

I just need to know if there's a wh*re

operating out of my house.

You're a real sh*t person, Andy.

[foreboding music plays]

[foreboding music continues]

[Andy] Did you get in?

No.

Hey.

[Hedwig] Don't worry about it.

Just forget it.

Well, I'll pay you to stay.

I want to do something for you.

For your birthday.

OK.

[serene music plays]

[Hedwig] So there's a party tonight at

Andy Dolan's. Wear something nice.

Hey!

[Hedwig] There's a party tonight at the

mansion at the top of York Street.

You guys should come.

[foreboding music plays]

[indistinct chatter]

[glasses clinking]

Whiskey, neat.

Oh, hey, Andy.

Happy birthday. This is Chris,

Eilish, I'm Gina.

What are you doing here, sorry?

We're Hedwig's friends,

we're working the party.

Well, where is Hedwig?

She's not answering her phone.

Not sure, sorry.

f*ck' great.

[laughs]

[chilled rock music plays]

[woman] This is my partner, Damian.

He's a writer, actually.

He's written a screenplay,

you should read it!

Oh wow. It's time to go.

What the f*ck, man?

-Gina.

-We're cool.

Well, I don't like you.

So get the f*ck out of my house.

-Come on.

-Come on, let's just go.

No, no. We were f*cking invited

to this party!

Where the f*ck is Hedwig?

-Come with us.

-Come on, let's go.

Say what you really mean,

say it softer ♪

I looked you in your eyes,

it was over ♪

Where the f*ck have you been?

Andy, this is my friend Scout,

back from Julliard.

-Hi.

-It's his birthday.

Oh, umhappy birthday.

[upbeat club music plays]

Hey, here he is.

Hey, thanks for the invite, mate.

What a place!

Hey, you got any spare rooms

around here or something? You know?

I'm honestly thinking about crashing

here tonight.

Hey.

You leaving?

Yeah. We'll see you later.

Whwhere are you going?

Andy, you're fine. You're good.

No, no, you can't leave.

That's not how this works.

If you leave now you you're done.

Get the f*ck off me.

You're f*cking out.

You're done! I'm serious.

I'm bored. You f*cking wh*re.

You can get your sh*t and you can get

the f*ck out of my house!

-I'll destroy you.

-Yeah? You'll destroy me?

f*ck you!

f*ck you and your stupid cat!

Arsehole!

[inaudible dialogue]

Millionaires and wh*res.

This party's f*cking hilarious.

Aren't you f*cking that blonde chick?

[soft music plays]

Can you f*ck off now?

I was just leaving.

Everyone

Get out of my house!

Get out of my house, now!

[menacing music plays]

[growling]

[ringing]

[ringing]

[phone ringing]

[Hedwig] Andy. Andy!

[banging]

Andy.

Andy!

Andy!

I'll do whatever you want. Please Andy!

Please openopen the door.

Please let me in.

[chilling music plays]

[screaming]

Andy! Andy! Please!

Please!

Please Andy!