(bees buzzing)
(buzzing grows louder)
(birds chirping)
TEDDY: It all starts
with something... magnificent.
-(buzzing continues)
-(birds chirping)
A flower.
Just a flower.
Then a honeybee.
Very fragile.
Very complicated.
The bee gathers pollen
and deposits it
in another flower's stigma.
It's like sex but cleaner.
And nobody gets hurt.
A third of our food
is pollinated this way.
You understand
the scope of that?
That's how vital
the bees are, Don.
And they're dying.
DON:
Why?
It's like we talked about, cuz.
Remember?
CCD. It's like a pandemic.
Workers desert the queen
until she's all alone
with her young,
and the colony wastes away.
DON:
But why do they leave her?
TEDDY:
Well... (grunts)
people claim it's pesticides
or habitat loss.
Or some people think
world governments
and their agro-corporate
overlords
bioengineered CCD
to manipulate food supplies.
But I knew there had to be
a larger organizing
principle at work.
So I studied.
I observed.
Down.
I searched in the ground
and in the stars
until I found it.
(alarm beeping)
-It was there all along.
-(alarm stops)
f*cking caging us,
poisoning us,
choking us out.
One. Two.
We are not steering
the ship, Don.
-(groans)
-Oh, good job.
They are.
-(toothbrush buzzing)
-And now it's up to you and me
to stop them.
The training
is for a reason, Don.
It's going to try
and dominate us,
but we're not gonna
let it, are we?
(straining): You mean
she'll try to hurt us?
TEDDY: Oh, yes, Don.
It's highly dangerous.
(grunting)
So we have to prepare...
-Down. Up.
-...our bodies, our brains.
Come on. Come on. Come on.
(grunting)
(grunting fiercely)
-(laughing)
-Why are you laughing?
Sorry, you just look
a little funny doing that,
to be honest. Sorry, Teddy.
-Okay, well, now you do it.
-Okay.
Hey, I think I look funny, too.
Okay.
See? It's good.
TEDDY: Oh, and don't forget
they track it remotely.
And they'll try
and track us, too.
It'll... weevil into your
brainbox every chance it gets,
so we have to fortify
that sh*t.
Okay.
I'll try.
You-you hear that, though?
Donny?
In your voice, how they
f*cked your confidence?
I'm sorry, Teddy.
No. Donny, look at me.
Don't you ever apologize. Ever.
None of this
is your fault. Okay?
(sighs)
Thanks.
TEDDY:
It won't play fair.
(remote beeps, door locks click)
-So we have to be better.
-(front door closes)
How can you tell them apart?
Well, you have to know
where to look.
There are signs.
(thudding nearby)
What about these people?
-(indistinct chattering)
-TEDDY: No.
No, they're fine.
I mean, they're not fine-fine,
but hollowed.
You know, like the rest of us.
Harmless.
Hopeless.
("Good Luck, Babe!" by
Chappell Roan playing, muffled)
TEDDY: And that's the way
they planned it.
To make us the same
as the bees.
A dead colony, atomized
in a trillion directions
with no way home again.
-GUARD: Morning, Ms. Fuller.
-MICHELLE: Good morning.
Have a good day.
DON:
What does the cream do?
TEDDY:
The same.
Mitigation.
Here, get all of it.
-(dog barking in distance)
-(people chattering)
What if someone finds out
about what we're doing?
They won't.
No one on earth gives
a single f*ck about us.
TEDDY:
So until the day comes...
...we clear
the psychic cache, okay?
No distractions.
No gaming, no vape,
no whacking it.
No screens whatsoever,
except for research.
You promise, Don?
I know this is a lot,
but I...
I want you with me on this.
I need you, Don.
-Hmm.
-I know...
you're actually smart and brave,
and no one else sees it but me.
No, you're...
No, you're the smart one.
The brains of this
operation, really. Hmm.
-Hmm. But...
-Is something wrong?
I just....
I don't think I can do this.
Hey.
Come here.
DON:
Hmm.
-Give me a hug.
-Ah.
I love you, cuzzie.
I love you, too, man.
You're my best friend
in the whole world.
My only friend.
And I'm doing this
to save you most of all.
I won't let anyone
hurt you, okay?
Okay?
-Okay.
-Never.
Yeah.
Medroxyprogesterone acetate.
It's a progestin-type
hormonal med.
Chemical castration.
-Okay?
-Okay.
In order for us to hit
maximum focus,
we have to clear our heads of
all psychic compulsions, okay?
What does that mean?
-Hey, buddy.
-(stammers)
Trust me, I've done
a sh*t ton of research on this.
The more of that
f*ck filler we have
jamming up our neurons,
the bigger advantage
it will have over us.
Are you sure?
(Teddy sighs)
Yes, Donny, I'm sure.
It's really important, Don.
I just...
wanted to be
with someone someday.
Bud...
you gotta believe me.
I've figured it out.
The part of your brain
that distracts you,
part of your brain
that makes you sad,
it's all connected
to the biological imperative.
These synapses firing off
on procreation
and seed spread and monogamy,
like all these
f*cking pain traps.
(laughing): It's all...
it's all neurons, dude.
You just have to harness them.
Once you k*ll the urges,
like I have,
you'll be your own master.
No one can f*ck with you.
You'll be totally free.
Don't you want to be free?
Yes.
So you ready?
(Don grunts)
DON:
Let's do this.
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
Okay, so, uh...
Lean over the chair
and talk to me.
-It'll distract you.
-Yeah.
How are you, Teddy?
I'm doing great, man.
How are you?
Uh, I'm doing good.
TEDDY:
So, you excited to be free?
DON:
Yeah.
TEDDY: What does free
feel like to you?
DON (grunting):
I guess it...
feels like when we were little,
before things got bad.
When everyone was still here.
Hey, hey.
I know it's been hard, man.
But we're gonna get it
back again. I promise.
All we've lost,
all these years, all the sh*t
that's been done to us...
...we're setting that sh*t
right again.
And no one can f*ck with us.
Not even ourselves.
-Morning, Corey.
-Good morning, Michelle.
(muffled chatter)
I believe every company
should strive
to form a diverse table.
If the people on your team
are from diverse backgrounds,
they'll find new and creative
solutions to problems
rather than just iterating.
We need to find
the next generation
of diverse engineers,
diverse biologists,
diverse doctors.
Because it's not just
diverse employees,
it's diverse thinking.
It's about using
our corporate resources
to empower people of different
skills and identities...
Holy f*cking f*ck.
Jesus Christ.
Every time. What is it?
"Skills and identities
to foster..."
MICHELLE: To foster a new
generation of Auxolith talent.
Okay, let's reset.
It's too many "diverses," Chris.
It's-- I'm going,
"diverse, diverse, diverse."
Like "Buh-duh,
buh-duh, buh-duh."
Like a f*cking metronome.
Well, uh, (clears throat),
it is diversity training.
Yeah, but it's too many, Chris.
Can we try to diversify
the language a little bit?
CHRIS:
No, sure.
Let's go again.
(ice clinking in glass)
(footsteps approaching)
COREY:
Okay, so that's it then.
You just have
the investor call with Sara
and a VC with Wieden+Kennedy
at 9:00 that you can do remote.
Thank you, Corey.
The 5:30 thing.
Uh-huh?
Look, I know you sent
the email already,
but I need you
to let everyone know
that they are free
to leave at 5:30
from now on,
starting today, okay?
But do it in a way
that's, you know,
what we talked about.
-Yeah, of course.
-We need to send the message
that we have a new culture
here now.
Where people should,
yes, of course,
feel free to leave at 5:30
and be with their families.
No one is gonna be overworked
like in the past.
No more unpleasant incidents.
But, of course,
it's not compulsory.
And, obviously, if people
still have work to do,
they should absolutely stay
and continue to work.
-Yeah.
-But it's not strictly enforced.
Although we still do want
to meet quotas.
So if we can do that
with no pressure,
just remembering, you know,
we are running a business here,
so "let your conscience
guide you" kind of thing.
Yeah? Good?
I'll definitely let them know.
Great.
New era.
-(ice clinking)
-Thank you, Corey.
Thanks, Tony.
Feel free to leave early.
I mean, unless you're busy.
Or you have things to do,
but feel free if you can.
-Up to you.
-Yes, ma'am.
Your call.
("Good Luck, Babe!" by Chappell
Roan playing over stereo)
I told you so
You know I hate to say,
but I told you so
You can kiss
a hundred boys in bars
sh**t another shot,
try to stop the feeling
(mouthing along):
Well, I told you so
You can say
it's just the way you are
Make a new excuse,
nother stupid reason
-Good luck, babe
-Well, good luck
-Well, good luck, babe
-Well, good luck
You'd have to stop...
(song continues faintly
in distance)
(vehicle approaching)
-Well, good luck, babe
-Well, good luck
You'd have to stop the world
just to stop the feeling...
(song continues faintly)
TEDDY:
Come on, come on.
-(engine shuts off)
-(song stops)
(Michelle yelps)
-(all grunting)
-(sharp slap)
TEDDY:
No.
(Michelle grunts fiercely)
(Don groaning)
MICHELLE:
sh*t! f*ck, f*ck!
(Michelle yells)
(Teddy grunting)
(Michelle grunting fiercely)
(Teddy panting)
(muffled grunting)
(panting)
TEDDY:
No, no, no! Stay back with her.
-Spray! Spray!
-(spray can hissing)
Really have to hurry, bud.
-Um, I know. I'm sorry.
-Okay, quick as you can.
-It's like GPS, remember?
-(clippers buzzing)
If its hair is still attached,
it can track us remotely,
so we want to go
as quick as we can.
DON:
Okay.
TEDDY:
Is it working?
DON:
Not much is coming off.
Y-You really, you really
got to run it through. Harder.
But wh-what if I cut her?
Don! Do it harder!
You won't cut her!
Okay.
TEDDY:
Man, I feel good. Don't you?
DON:
I guess.
TEDDY:
You were amazing, cuz.
DON:
I was?
TEDDY:
Oh, yeah.
f*cking alpha king sh*t.
DON:
Well, thanks, man.
TEDDY:
I knew you could do it.
Sure enough,
you f*cking crushed it.
TEDDY:
Incredible.
DON:
What is?
TEDDY:
Just the detail.
The best I've seen.
DON: Uh, how can you tell
she's an alien?
TEDDY:
Well, the signs are obvious.
They did a hell of a job on it,
but the tells are there.
Narrow feet.
Thin cuticles.
Slight overbite.
Semi-obtruding earlobes.
See?
High hair density.
You won't notice unless you know
what you're looking for.
DON:
Guess I can see it.
TEDDY: It's like,
if you don't cook steaks a lot,
you won't know
when it's cooked medium-rare,
but if you cook steaks
all the time, you just know.
You don't even
have to cut into it.
You just... know.
Hey, hey, um... (stammers)
Why are we doing this?
Is she itchy?
No, Don. It's not itchy.
Its genetic structure
is the same as ours,
uh, but its nervous system
is different.
The antihistamine reacts
to the neurotransmitters
in its nervous system
and weakens it.
We're just leveling
the playing field.
It's not t*rture.
t*rture is what it's done to us.
Huh.
TEDDY: The sedative
should wear off soon.
Should we go get dressed?
-DON: Okay.
-TEDDY: Okay, come on.
(footsteps ascending stairs)
-Is it too tight?
-No, man.
No, this was my dad's sh*t.
He left it behind for a reason,
so that it could be
put to good use.
Everything's for a reason, Don.
It's too tight.
-I look stupid.
-No, you don't.
You look fine, honestly.
You look fine.
Anyway... (chuckles)
what's that swine gonna do,
call the fashion police
and arrest you?
This isn't about her.
Hey.
It is not in control anymore.
We are.
Besides, I'll be doing
most of the talking anyway.
-In fact, maybe don't say much.
-(grunts)
Like, you-you don't really
have to say much.
Okay.
Like, don't talk at all, maybe.
Oh.
(gate creaking open)
(gate creaking shut)
-(light clinking)
-(door closes)
(footsteps descending stairs)
(ears ringing)
TEDDY:
Welcome.
Are you conscious?
-What?
-Is she conscious?
I can only proceed if
you're fully conscious, so...
Uh...
What?
Yes. Greetings.
This is my home.
Where...
This i-- this is a hospital?
-No, this is not a hospital.
-Is this a...
f*ck it. I'm just gonna start.
(clears throat)
"Welcome to the headquarters
of the human resistance.
"Despite our general suspicion
and disavowal
"of all extant governing bodies,
"and despite the fact that you,
as an Andromedan,
"are not subject to
the human rights guidelines
"detailed in
the Geneva Conventions,
"we nevertheless endeavor
to adhere to those guidelines
out of the humanist principles
to which they aspire."
What is happening?
I'm explaining to you
that I would like to keep
all of this very aboveboard
and civilized, so...
Where's my hair?
-Your hair's been destroyed.
-You shaved off my hair?
Yes, we've shaved off your hair.
Why have you shaved off my hair?
To prevent you
from contacting your ship.
-My ship?
-Your ship.
What ship?
Your mother ship.
-Okay.
-Full disclosure:
I've also applied a thin layer
of antihistamine cream
to your skin...
-Excuse me. Listen to me.
-...which we'll need to reapply
every day
for full effectiveness.
Listen to me.
I'm listening.
Right.
H-Here's what's gonna happen.
And I want to be clear,
I'm not threatening you.
Or you.
But the following is
my best guess
of how the next 48 hours
are likely to transpire.
The police
and soon thereafter the FBI
will begin a statewide manhunt
using all of the methods
at their disposal
and the combined resources
of neighboring jurisdictions.
My company is a key job creator
and economic engine
of the region.
I am crucial.
Think of it like
you've abducted the governor
but worse.
That's the level
of bureaucratic urgency
you're contending with here.
In all humility, I can say that.
I'm also a high-profile
female corporate executive.
Does that add a certain,
you know,
politicized optics to this?
I would say absolutely.
I would say
that's a tremendous factor
for you to consider here.
Now, I don't make the rules,
and I don't enforce anything,
and I am not in charge
of the situation in this room.
You are.
But you are not in charge
of what is happening out there,
and what is happening out there
is a rapid cross-coordination
of law enforcement
and digital media,
which is all leading
quite inevitably
to your imprisonment.
And very likely worse.
If I can be frank.
I-I'm not privy to
what their methods might be
under extreme duress,
or yours for that matter,
but I can assure you that
there is no possible scenario
where you benefit
from this incident,
unless you cooperate with me
right now
and negotiate a deal that's fair
and advantageous to us both.
(chuckling)
Okay.
(chuckles)
Wow. (clicks tongue)
That was really good.
That was really good.
My pulse is racing right now.
Um... (chuckles softly)
f*ck. (sighs)
You got a real human response
out of me there,
which is impressive given your
cellular composition and all.
-It-It's the truth.
-Well, no, it's not the truth.
Nothing you say is true.
Objective human truth has no
value in Andromedan cognition.
L-Let's just unpack
the problem here.
"Unpack"? Wow, heady sh*t.
Sure, let's unpack
the old fact bag, shall we?
You are a high-ranking official
in the royal Andromedan court,
and you've aided your species
in the techno-enslavement
and the agro-corporate
disintegration
of planet Earth, okay?
And we need you to bring us
to your mother ship
on the night
of the lunar eclipse
to broker a sit-down
with your royal superiors.
How's that?
f*cking unpacked enough for ya?
I hear where you're coming from.
I do.
And I respectfully disagree.
On which part?
-Primarily, I'm not an alien.
-You are.
I've done thermal imaging
on your face.
There's Andromedan code
all over your Instagram.
You're barely even hiding it.
I mean, look at you.
I'm supposed to believe
you're a 45-year-old woman?
Human woman?
I mean, I follow a very strict
reverse-aging diet
and therapy program.
It's very expensive, as you can
imagine, but I'm not an alien.
(laughs)
Well, there's really
no time for this.
-You are.
-I'm not.
(stammers, takes deep breath)
(sighs)
All right, then.
We're going to give you
the night...
(clicks tongue)
to give your statement.
MICHELLE:
My statement?
TEDDY: That you will give
to your emperor...
Uh-huh.
...to grant us passage
to your ship
and negotiate your species'
withdrawal from planet Earth.
Right. C-Could we have
a dialogue about this, please?
Because what you're asking me
to do is not quite clear to me.
I think it is.
And I want you to know...
...this is really difficult
for me as well.
You k*lled my family.
You k*lled my community.
You k*lled my coworkers.
You k*lled the bees.
So, given that,
you should really appreciate
how super professional
I'm being right now
by not gutting you.
So, your sustenance
and waste disposal
will be attended to
in the morning.
Uh, I haven't gathered
adequate data
on what type of sleep
you require, if any,
but you should try
and get some, okay?
I'm very sorry.
I think that we maybe
got off on the wrong foot.
And I would love to keep
the conversation going, please.
Excuse me, please?
-TEDDY: Don. Don. Don, come on.
-(Michelle stammers)
MICHELLE:
Come on, let's keep talking.
Please?
Please?!
(gate creaks shut)
-(Don sighs)
-(sets down keys)
(Don laughing)
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
(both laughing)
Don, Don, Don, Don!
(laughter continues)
-(crickets chirping)
-(distant, rhythmic thumping)
(crying)
(sighs)
(Michelle crying over monitor)
Hey.
We can't see it as
a human woman, you know?
It's not a person
named Michelle Fuller.
It's the Fuller Humanoid.
That's all it is.
Even if it was human--
and it's not--
it's still evil.
Pure corporate evil.
It's k*lling our planet, cuzzie.
It was the lead executive
on the neonicotinoid
linked to honeybee death.
It only knows cruelty.
Is it an alien?
Yes.
It knows you're watching
right now, too.
It's trying to gain
your sympathy.
That shitty way
that you feel right now,
that's how it wants you to feel.
It's mastered the art
of emotional manipulation.
I'm sorry.
I-I promise
I won't mess this up, Teddy.
Don't apologize, remember?
We just stick to the plan.
We have four days
until the lunar eclipse,
when the Andromedan ship
can return undetected. Yeah?
Yeah.
So, we need the Fuller Humanoid
to help us make contact
so we can fight
for our self-worth.
For our material existence, Don.
You know, I... wish
I could fix everything
that's been done to you.
This is not about me, Don.
(scoffs quietly)
This is about everyone.
And one day very soon,
you'll see.
And the world will see you
as you truly are.
A hero.
That's why we stick to...
We stick to...
-the plan.
-Plan.
-Uh...
-See? You're listening.
Uh, yeah.
(crying quietly)
SANDY: I don't even
f*cking know what's in it.
I just eat the poison
they give me.
But I know...
they hide sh*t in there,
to program my cells...
...my blood.
I see what their plan is, okay?
They sell me the sickness,
then they sell me the cure,
and it's money on both sides
from the mind control,
um... industry, okay?
Get it?
But I'll do it for you.
You know, if it helps.
If it makes me not like me.
Like I am, you know?
Like, weak.
Your slob, c**t mom
will do it for you, baby.
Just don't let them
get you, too.
(laughs softly)
(birds chirping)
(bees buzzing quietly)
TEDDY:
You can go faster.
-This isn't the spa.
-Okay. Okay.
PODCAST HOST (over headphones):
With scientific evidence
pointing to the potential
of other life
even on our own planet
that we can't comprehend yet,
and with unexplainable
phenomenon
experienced by people daily
in the skies,
in the oceans, and even
in their own backyard,
I think it's kind of
just a little uninformed
to not at least acknowledge
the potential
that humankind may not be
the only intelligent life
to ever exist
throughout the galaxy.
(podcast continues indistinctly)
PODCAST HOST 2:
...other higher-intelligent
beings somewhere.
I don't know if they're
coming, like I said,
through the vibrations,
coming through frequencies
into our world,
or if they're coming through...
-(siren whoops)
-...trillions and billions
of miles of space,
which seems kind of ridiculous
when you think about it, but...
-There's a whole...
-HOST 1: But what if it's...
what if it's both
of those things?
What if it's not one
or the other?
-HOST 2: It-it could be a
mixture of everything. -Yeah.
TEDDY:
Hey.
CASEY:
Saw you there. You all right?
Uh, yeah. I'm fine.
-How are you?
-(chuckles) I'm good.
Off to work, then, or...?
Uh-huh.
I-I'm sorry, man.
I know you're like,
"This f*cking guy," right?
No, no.
No, it's all right. It's just...
You know, we haven't had
a chance to catch up in a while,
'cause, you know...
all the sh*t, and, uh, yeah.
Just wanted to check up on you.
Casey, I'm good. What's up?
(chuckling):
Nothing's up, man. I just...
I know I wasn't always
the best babysitter
back in the day, but, um...
I do want you to be okay.
You still up there with Don?
Yep.
Great. Well, uh...
I think about you sometimes.
Not... not in a weird way,
just... Yeah.
I'm a different guy now--
I've grown up--
so if you ever need help
with anything, just...
I'm good.
I just gotta get to work, so...
Maybe I'll stop by sometime.
Yeah, I mean, I-I'm j...
I'm super busy right now.
-Crazy busy.
-Right.
But, um,
yeah, maybe sometime later.
Later, yeah. All right.
Cool. See ya.
Take it easy.
See ya, Teddy.
HOST 2 (over headphones): Some
people say they're all demons.
A lot of people think they're
higher-intelligent beings
from a different wavelength.
That's a possibility,
too, I guess.
I-I don't know anything.
So I'm not saying, like,
one way or the other.
I just, personally,
I have my opinion,
and I think it's somehow
all connected.
HOST 1 (over headphones):
I think that
all of those things
are each a small part of...
TEDDY:
How you doing?
-What's up, man?
-COWORKER: Morning.
HOST 2 (over headphones):
I honestly start to believe
that we're all in,
like, a simulation.
And I don't want to say
it's like The Matrix, but...
(woman groans quietly)
What's wrong, Tina?
My frickin' hand
is still k*lling me.
Christ. Did you file that sh*t
with OSHA yet?
I looked into it, but I...
I don't think it's a violation.
Tina, their machinery cut you,
and you get punished
for missing quotas?
That's a... that's a violation.
f*cking demons.
I just don't want any trouble.
TEDDY:
Don't you worry.
One day soon,
it's all gonna change.
They're not gonna get away
with this sh*t in the end, okay?
I promise you that.
On Monday afternoon,
following what coworkers
describe as a routine workday,
Auxolith Biomedical CEO
Michelle Fuller
got into her car,
passed the security gate
at Auxolith headquarters
in Fayette County, Georgia,
and drove towards home.
That was nearly 48 hours ago.
No one has heard from her since.
Authorities now believe
there is a strong chance...
Hey.
Oh, yo. What up, Carlos?
I brought some
fresh honey in for toast.
Oh, great.
-Thank you, Teddy.
-Yeah.
(over TV): A furious statewide
manhunt is now underway,
with state police urging
Fayette County locals
to come forward with
any information at all.
Given Fuller's wealth
and high profile,
state police are not ruling out
the possibility
that Fuller is being held
for ransom,
though, as of yet,
there is no evidence
to suggest this might be
the case.
The only clue authorities...
(buzzing)
TEDDY:
Hey, cuz. Did she eat?
No.
Bedpan?
No.
DON:
Maybe she's too scared to go?
TEDDY:
No, she's not too scared to go.
It's trying to pity-trap
our asses.
-It's a ploy.
-(door creaking open)
We're not gonna let it
pity-trap us, are we?
(footsteps approaching)
DON:
No.
Just stay over there.
Okay, Teddy.
MICHELLE (over recorder): Um,
I am an alien from outer space.
I live here on planet Earth,
but I am not a human being.
My mother ship
is coming to Earth,
and I would like to bring
my new friend with me.
Thanks.
Uh-huh.
So...
this is a joke, then?
You're trying to simulate
sapient humor, or...
That was the best I could do.
This is the best you could do?
You didn't even say it
in your own language.
Sorry, that was the best
I could do.
No, it isn't.
What would you like me
to say, then?
Well, I already did that.
Um, I would like you
to request an audience
with your emperor
to discuss the terms
of your species' withdrawal
from Earth.
And I did that.
But convincingly.
Well, that's gonna be difficult.
Why?
At the risk of repeating myself,
I'm not an alien.
(clattering)
Teddy?
What?
I thought all night
about our situation here,
and I think I know
what's going on.
Okay. Yeah, please,
enlighten me.
So, look, I feel qualified here
because I am a chemist
by training, but I also have
-a psych degree.
-Oh.
Okay. Wow. Great.
A degree from a university?
From a credentialist scam
for laundering privilege?
Amazing.
Well, yeah, I do have a degree.
And I also have read
a lot about this.
You can't talk your way
out of this again.
I'm not a kid anymore.
(gulps)
I think you're in
a kind of echo chamber.
-Echo chamber? Right now?
-Mm-hmm.
Echo?
Yeah, I read the same 5,000
think pieces about that, too.
You're consuming content
on the Internet
that is reinforcing
this sort of warped,
subjective idea of reality.
This is your best shot at me?
Some "rabbit holes" bullshit
you read in The Times?
Come on. Come on.
Can we have a dialogue, please?
Don't call it a dialogue.
This isn't Death of a Salesman.
Okay, can we talk, please?
Or are-are you just gonna
keep doing this?
-We don't need to talk.
-Yes, okay.
Because I know exactly
what you're going to say.
You're going to say
that I'm in some kind of
Internet-induced autohypnotic
feedback loop,
and-and gatekeepers,
and-and norms,
and all that weak
hegemonic horseshit.
But that is precisely
the limp-d*ck rhetoric
that you've been instructed
to counter the human
insurgency with.
That's the f*cking
hyper-normalized dialectic
by which you've convinced
seven and a half billion people
that they're not your captives.
To keep us believing in these
f*cking false institutional,
f*cking "shy-boleths."
You mean shibboleths.
That's what I said.
-You said...
-Yeah, whatever.
Sorry.
I guess grammar is a false
Andromedan construct as well.
Hmm?
(grunting angrily)
f*cking...
(clattering)
I'm sorry.
You're angry.
I see that.
I-I even think you have
a right to be angry.
-You do?
-Yes.
But we need to have
an honest talk
in good faith about
what is going on here.
Yes, you're right.
Let's-let's-let's talk it out.
Let's create a safe space,
safe words, good faith,
dialogue.
We need to talk about this,
we need to talk about that,
and what we talk about
when we talk about
f*cking talk, talk, talk, talk,
talk, talk, talk, talk,
talking forever
until we're all f*cking dead.
Yeah, I agree.
So, what is this exactly
that you want?
Like, what do you really want?
Is it money?
Your capital has no value to us.
So, what is it then,
a power thing?
A sex thing?
We have no interest
in you sexually.
Irrespective of the fact that
your reproductive organs
may not be compatible with ours,
my cousin and I have also
been chemically castrated.
(quietly):
Oh, Jesus Christ. Okay.
But I figured you might
try to lure us in that way,
hence the precaution.
See, Don?
Don.
Teddy.
Come on.
We have options here.
-TEDDY: No.
-We do.
There are no options.
There are no rules.
There are no deals.
There's no payoff.
There's no money.
There is no legal system.
There's no Congress.
There is no America.
There's no global
democratic order, okay?
So don't talk to me
like I'm a dipshit,
because I'm not a dipshit.
I'm a guy that knows
what the f*ck is happening,
and you will not defeat me,
you sick Andromedan f*ck!
Teddy, I'm sorry.
You need help.
You're mentally ill.
(loud smack)
(Teddy exhales)
(Michelle groans)
Everybody denies it at first...
and then they confess.
TEDDY:
f*cking... (muttering)
f*cking f*ck! f*cking lie!
f*ck!
(screaming)
f*ck!
TEDDY: I didn't
discover them on my own.
I stand on the shoulders
of giants.
The PA-99-N2 microlensing event
proved that there was
an exoplanet.
And Gideon55's YouTube studies
into Andromedan infiltration
paved the way
for my own research.
But I was the one
who discovered
how to identify them, okay?
I created that content.
Obviously, I've never been
on the ship before,
but I know enough
to render it on my laptop.
The journey there
will be instantaneous.
But once we're on board,
inside their chemical
atmosphere,
they may be able
to hear our thoughts,
so keep your mind clear
and decisive
during the negotiations.
They will see that we are
men of honor and dignity
and that Earth, with its vast
resources and human ingenuity,
has much that we can offer.
So much more than this f*cking
worthless death spiral
into chaos and sh*t.
And if they won't listen
to reason,
well, I have a plan
for that, too.
DON: What will our lives
be like in space?
In space?
Aren't we going
to live in space?
Well, bud, uh...
we'll only be gone
for a few hours.
We're not leaving Earth
for good.
We're saving it.
So we have to stay here?
Well, yeah. Of course.
But we're saving it,
so it'll be a good place
to live again.
So, everything will be okay.
Yeah. I know.
Sorry.
It's okay, man.
Ever since those shots
you gave me...
...I've felt weird
and crazy
and sometimes sad.
Have you felt that way, too?
It'll pass. Don't worry.
DON:
Ah.
It'll pass.
(grunts)
(crickets chirping)
(frog croaking)
(Michelle grunting)
(strained grunting)
(breathing heavily)
(grunting)
(door creaking)
(door creaking)
MICHELLE:
Good morning.
TEDDY:
You're out of breath.
MICHELLE:
Oh, yes.
You, um...
you make me nervous.
Um, so, I've-I've been
doing a lot of pondering,
and I think
we should start over.
I want to help you.
And given that,
there is something that I
should have said to you earlier
that I am finally prepared
to say to you now
with conviction.
I am an alien.
I admit it.
You were right all along.
I am an alien.
I mean, you can't blame me
for trying to conceal it
for as long as I did. I...
Part of my mission here on Earth
is to blend in
and so forth, so...
Look, I'm very tired.
And I know that this doesn't...
sound as forceful
or the verisimilitude is not
what you would want it to be,
necessarily,
but I can assure you
I mean what I say.
And I would like to move
forward now to a solution.
I'm an alien.
(footsteps)
(sighs)
You want to start over?
Yes.
Good.
Let's start over.
(breathing heavily)
TEDDY: I was hoping
we could agree on your genus
and avoid a painful test,
but you forced my hand.
I-I admitted it.
Okay?
-I admitted it.
-I'm sorry.
I'm a humane person.
I-I do not want to do this.
I'm an alien.
I am an alien!
-I am...
-I agree.
("Basket Case" by Green Day):
Do you have the time
-(muffled pleading)
-To listen to me whine
About nothing and everything
all at once?
I am one of those...
Uh, are you sure it works?
She already admitted it.
It k*lled our family, cuzzie.
Yeah, but...
this doesn't seem right.
Sometimes I give myself
the creeps...
Please stop. Please, please.
Don't. Don't.
Don't, don't, don't do this.
Don't do this.
It all keeps adding up,
I think...
Okay, here comes the first wave.
MICHELLE: No, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no... (screaming)
(electrical buzzing)
(strained groaning)
Please don't.
Trust me, Don. Trust me.
-Second wave.
-(pained yelling)
She said it's lack of sex
that's bringing me down
I went to a wh*re
-He said my life's a bore
-(electrical buzzing)
(slows, distorted): So quit
my whining 'cause...
(guttural groaning)
(staticky): Sometimes
I give myself the creeps...
DON (distantly):
Teddy, no!
-(pained yelling)
-(buzzing grows louder)
(screaming and buzzing
continue in distance)
You'll k*ll her, Teddy!
(screaming continues)
DON:
Can you stop?
Teddy, stop!
Donny, back up!
-Sorry.
-(buzzing grows louder)
-Grasping to control
-(guttural screaming)
So I better hold on...
-(screaming continues)
-(loud buzzing)
(electrical crackling)
(screaming weakly)
(strained gasping)
What the f*ck?
DON (screams):
That's enough!
(groaning)
What's wrong with you, man?
-She could've died.
-(music stops)
No. No, Don,
you don't understand.
-What?
-(panting)
It was off the charts.
The output, it's never reached
that threshold before.
DON:
"Before"?!
TEDDY: Could you get me
a towel, please?
-I wish to...
-(wire cutters snipping)
apologize profusely.
I did not realize...
...Your Majesty.
-What?
-I stupidly thought
you were admin.
I did not realize,
at that voltage...
...you have the royal
genetic code.
I'm sorry.
I didn't know.
I didn't know.
(high-pitched ringing)
The most important thing I want
to stress to you right now
is I never want
to put this behind us.
Never.
What happened is part
of all of us now.
And it doesn't go away,
and it doesn't get swept
under the rug,
and it doesn't get excused.
Not on my watch.
This one sticks. Forever.
I am putting this up
on the corporate masthead
for all to see.
For everyone in our company
and our industry to learn from.
That's why I'm meeting
all of the victims' families
this week.
To let them know
we are going to do better.
Maybe we don't even
try to market
a product like this anymore.
Or maybe, maybe we take
this experience to grow
and to get this formula right.
Because I really do think,
if done correctly and safely,
this could be a product
that could help someone
like your mom.
But right now, we would like
to do what's right
and cover the expenses
for your mother's treatment
in hopes that her condition
might one day improve.
We will not tolerate the idea
of you or your family
bearing the financial burden
of this.
We are covering all of it.
This one's on us.
And, again, we're just so sorry.
You'll have to excuse me.
It's my best attempt
to approximate
the royal treatment
to which you are accustomed.
MICHELLE:
Oh, it's great. Thank you.
There was a wig
in the bathroom.
Did you want me to wear that?
TEDDY:
No, no. It's just an option.
MICHELLE:
I'm fine.
TEDDY:
And I want to apologize
for not approaching you
with proper courtesy.
Not realizing, of course,
what you were.
That you shared blood
with the emperor himself.
MICHELLE: Oh, that's
perfectly all right.
TEDDY: The truth is, we will
never make progress here
if we can't speak
eyeball to eyeball
as the most evolved examples
of our respective species.
MICHELLE:
I agree.
-TEDDY: Good.
-MICHELLE: Excellent.
TEDDY:
Well, on that note, enjoy.
It's a lovely home.
Thank you.
Mmm.
Just you here?
Yes.
Always?
Sorry?
Has-has it always just been you?
Um, well...
I'd prefer if we didn't delve
too deeply into the personal,
if you don't mind.
Mmm.
Sure, that's fine.
Thank you.
So, what...
Why don't you tell me more
about your movement?
My what?
Your movement.
What you're doing.
Respectfully,
we are not a movement.
Oh.
A movement is made up
of many people.
I did this all on my own.
MICHELLE:
Of course.
With the help of my colleague,
of course.
MICHELLE:
Well, it's very impressive.
-TEDDY: Thank you.
-MICHELLE: I'm...
I'm all for people
who can do that.
You know, the activism thing.
99.9% of what's called activism
is really personal exhibitionism
and brand maintenance
in disguise.
Mmm. Okay.
I used to be the same way.
I ran through the whole
digestive tract in...
five years?
Alt-right, alt-lite,
leftist, Marxist.
All those stupid badges.
I went shopping hungry, and I
just bought the whole store.
(chuckles)
Mmm.
But I was just looking
in the wrong places.
Until I discovered you.
Well, again,
it is very impressive.
Thank you.
You as well, Don.
-Um...
-TEDDY: You'll...
You'll have to excuse
my colleague.
He prefers not to converse.
Uh, can I go to the bathroom?
TEDDY:
In just a minute, Don.
We're eating right now.
I see you're apiarists.
TEDDY:
Of sorts.
MICHELLE:
I've taken an interest as well.
TEDDY:
Hmm. So I've heard.
MICHELLE: Magnificent
creatures, honeybees.
Very much so.
Earth's most admirable creation.
Well, sh*t, I've literally said
those exact words before.
Right, so, um, what is it
that you admire about them?
About bees? Uh...
Complex society.
Work ethic.
They do their duty,
they build their worlds
without complaint or piety
or self-obsession.
Mm-hmm.
All true.
Which is why they're so easy
to exploit, right?
I just admire their resolve.
That's all.
Even in the face of peril.
Well, we can agree on that.
What sort of peril, by the way?
Sorry?
You said bees have faced peril.
Such as?
Uh, what do you want me to say?
Well, just say it.
-Why don't you say it?
-Nah, you should just say it.
-(Teddy chuckles)
-MICHELLE: You go ahead.
TEDDY:
No, I insist.
MICHELLE:
No, please. After you.
Colony collapse disorder.
Sure, Teddy. Like CCD.
You're a bit of an expert
on CCD.
Well, I... I wouldn't
say that exactly.
Well, I would say that exactly.
It's all right.
We're just talking.
So, I take it you're referring
to the neonicotinoids
that my company makes.
You know what? Let's just...
let's just leave it.
No, I-I appreciate your concern.
I just think your research
is a bit out of date, Teddy.
Uh, CCD has declined
significantly in recent years.
The bees are coming back.
And there's no consensus
that pesticides were ever
a real threat to begin with.
Yes, I'm well aware of what
you've all been telling us.
Thank you.
I know you want there
to be a master plan, Teddy.
You want the bees to be dying
so that it can be my fault
and you don't have to think
about the real reasons
why species die.
Immunodeficiencies,
changing habitats,
genetic factors.
Or sometimes a species
just winds down.
(scoffs)
"Winds down"?
Maybe something clicks
in their heads
and they just know
or they intuit.
The futility of
the entire enterprise.
Who knows, right?
Right. Who knows?
-MICHELLE: That's right.
-So hard to say.
(Teddy gasps)
Who knows, Don?
We were having a nice dinner.
We were.
Nice, quiet, respectful.
But now we're not.
No, we're not.
And why do suppose that is?
You tell me.
Because you're lying to me.
Are you sure
I can't use the bathr...
Shh!
MICHELLE:
Your usual conclusion.
TEDDY:
You're murdering the bees.
I am not.
And now you're lying again.
-Lies.
-Lies.
-Truth.
-Lies.
What's the difference?
I can't change your mind.
You're right, you can't.
Because I know who you are.
I know what you are.
I know you, too, Teddy.
Bullshit you do.
I do.
You know how I know?
f*ck you.
Sandy Gatz.
What did you say?
I remember, Teddy.
That was your mother. Right?
She is my mother.
Right, yes. Of course.
(clears throat) I'm sorry.
And you will never
say her name again.
Understand?
That's fair enough.
But I do think
we need to discuss...
TEDDY:
W-We actually do not
because this is not about that.
With all due respect, Teddy,
how could this
not be about that?
We believed
we were helping, Teddy.
Don't you dare.
(stammers) Opioid withdrawal
medication like that
could've helped your mother
-and millions like her.
-Stop. Just stop.
And the clinical trial pay,
that was helping her, too.
I know it wasn't
a king's ransom, but it...
TEDDY:
Stop right now.
Obviously, we did not foresee
the complications
for Sandy or for the others.
Do not say her name.
You do not say her name.
We believed we paid your family
a proper reparation,
but now I see
it wasn't nearly enough.
-Stop!
-Not by half,
not by a fraction.
-Stop!
-Teddy...
you're right to distrust me,
you are.
-I lost myself somewhere, okay?
-f*ck you.
-Shut the f*ck up.
-I...
I became a human being
that I told myself
I would never become.
-f*ck you!
-I'm not denying that,
but I can help you, Teddy.
I can still help you.
And I can still help
your mother.
I can help her.
Truly, I can.
DON:
I-I... I mean,
can you?
You needed a mother.
She was never there for you.
f*cking die, you f*ck!
(Michelle grunting)
f*cking k*ll you!
I'll f*cking k*ll you!
Teddy, stop.
(strained grunting)
DON:
Teddy, stop.
-(Teddy cries out)
-(Michelle gasping)
(Michelle grunting
in other room)
(Michelle grunting)
(Michelle yells)
Get off him!
You can't beat me,
because you are a loser
and I am a winner.
And that's f*cking life.
(Teddy breathing heavily)
(doorbell rings)
(knocking softly)
(birds chirping)
-Hey.
-Hey.
How annoying is this, right?
-No, what's up?
-Mmm.
No, come on, dude. I know.
It's like,
"Why'd I even tell this guy
he could stop by," right?
It's fine, Casey. What's up?
Um, sorry.
I-I actually do have a real
reason to be here, though.
Uh-huh.
Um, well, you know how
we're all working
this missing persons thing?
Uh, yeah,
I just had a couple questions
to run by you, actually.
Don't worry.
Obviously, I just, um...
Sorry, could I actually
come in, maybe?
TEDDY:
Uh, yeah. No, sure.
Come on in.
CASEY: Dude, thank you.
I really appreciate that.
We are not alone.
TEDDY:
Huh?
Nothing. Just, you know,
"We are not alone."
TEDDY:
Oh, right.
Well, we're not.
-Uh...
-CASEY: Right.
TEDDY:
You want some water or...
CASEY:
That'd be great. Thank you.
(Casey sighs)
Gotta tell you, man, it's, uh,
pretty weird being back in here.
A lot of feelings.
Yeah, well, same old sh*t.
CASEY:
Hmm.
Thank you.
Scared the, uh,
chair's gonna run away?
What?
Oh. No.
My mom, she used to have
fits or whatever,
so we'd-we'd nail
the chair down.
Yeah.
(chuckles):
Uh-oh.
What?
My archnemesis.
TEDDY:
Ah.
You want a piece of cake?
I mean, if you insist.
(Casey laughs)
Yeah, I love this stuff.
(cutlery clattering)
So, um, you had
some questions or...?
Oh. Uh, yeah, sorry.
Um, you're still
at Auxolith, right?
Yeah.
So you must know all about
the Fuller case?
I mean, I heard a little, yeah.
On the news?
I don't get the news
from the news.
Right. Um, of course. Sorry.
I'm just here on a hunch,
really.
See, this missing lady,
her phone
pinged a cell tower in the area
the night of the abduction.
Thank you. Thank you very much.
TEDDY:
Oh.
Well, those things have
a pretty wide radius,
-though, right?
-Yeah, no, for sure.
It's just that her car was
also snapped by a speed trap
near the intersection
down the road over here.
Oh, yeah?
I know. I'm, uh...
You know, long shot, right?
But, I don't know,
it's a sparsely populated area.
Figured I'd check in
with the local residents.
See if, uh, you or Don
seen anything peculiar.
Uh...
No, no.
Well, uh, hmm.
Let's see here.
For starters, have you seen...
...this car?
Uh-uh.
What about, uh, this woman?
I mean, yeah,
she-she owns my work, yeah.
But I haven't seen her, no.
You haven't seen her in person?
No.
I scan packages, so I wouldn't.
No, no. Dude, I-I know.
I'm-I'm sorry.
Um, how about your neighbors?
They say anything about,
I don't know,
any out-of-the-ordinary
activity?
Uh, I mean,
I don't know them, really.
Right. I-I'm sorry, man.
Uh, I'm really grasping
at straws here.
Uh...
Look, I mainly just wanted
to check up on you, man.
I know the last thing you want
is for your f*cked-up
babysitter from 20 years ago
stopping by,
feeling guilty about, um...
you know, whatever
went down, uh, but...
Sometimes I pass by this place,
and I just get this f*cking
sad, awful feeling, like,
"What's going on in there?"
You know?
-Not much.
-(both chuckle)
(groans)
(sighs)
Where is he?
(chains rattling)
Don?
Look at me, Don.
Put the g*n down.
Look at me.
I know you would never hurt me.
(pained grunting)
(chain rattling)
Thank you, Don.
You could've shot me earlier
upstairs, but you didn't.
How you behaved
was honestly heroic.
I don't use that word lightly.
You have been the only thing
stopping him
from doing God knows what to me.
I don't talk to you.
That's how it is.
So stay quiet.
But you know
this is crazy, right?
You know this is wrong.
I know you know that.
Shut up.
I'm just saying.
There is a world, Don.
There is a world
where we help you
and your cousin and your aunt,
where reparations are paid
and a page is turned.
All of that can happen for you.
No. You're...
You're gonna get
me and Teddy arrested.
No, I wouldn't.
And-and if you're right
and Teddy gets arrested,
it's... it'll all be different
for you, Don.
It will, if you let me go.
Stop.
I know what you're doing.
All he does is drag you deeper
and deeper into a pit.
He never actually offers you
a way out for you.
(Don grunts)
I can do that for you, Don.
I want to do that for you.
I said, shut up!
It's okay.
I know you're confused
and frustrated.
No one in the universe
could possibly blame you.
Shut up.
Put the g*n down.
Just talk to me.
No. (breathing heavily)
Sit down and talk to me.
Put the g*n down.
Just shut up, alien filth.
CASEY:
He ever show up again?
f*cking as*h*le.
Sorry. I know he's your dad
and you probably love him.
I literally
wouldn't recognize him.
(sighs heavily)
Look, Teddy, um...
I know it was a long time ago,
what I did to you, man.
It's fine.
No. It wasn't fine.
It-it was wrong,
but I promise you,
it's-it's not 'cause I liked it.
It was just...
you know, probably
some weird power thing.
I was... I was young
and lost, and...
I promise you, dude, I never,
ever did that to anybody else.
Just forget it. It's done.
Seriously.
-Really?
-Mm-hmm.
(breathes deeply)
Hey, you should read this.
This sh*t helped me a lot.
Thank you, dude.
Hey, you want to see my bees?
MICHELLE:
Someone's up there, right?
(grunts) Shut up.
Is it the police?
I said, shut up.
It is.
And, Don, they're gonna
arrest your cousin.
But it is not too late for you.
Please, stop.
If you let me go right now,
everything will work out
for you.
No, it won't.
It will, Don.
I promise.
You don't understand.
There's nothing left for me.
Teddy is all I have.
We'll find something else
for you.
You don't need him.
Yes, I do.
I love him.
TEDDY: Sorry I couldn't
help you find that lady.
CASEY:
It's all right, man.
(bees buzzing quietly)
CASEY:
I got it.
TEDDY:
Thanks.
-Be gentle.
-Yep, yep. (grunts)
There is so much else
out there, Don.
No, there's not.
Not here.
Then where?
Where do you want to go, Don?
We can go there.
I'll take you there.
If you are an alien,
will you help me?
Don, that's enough of that.
Please.
You know I'm not an alien.
You know that.
But if you are,
would you take me with you?
What?
If all of this is true
and you have a sh-- spaceship,
would you take me away
from here?
Of course, Don.
Yes, absolutely.
I'll take you with me.
We'll leave Earth.
I promise
that's what'll happen, okay?
If you let me go.
Thank you...
but not without Teddy.
Please, Don,
we don't have much time.
Th-They're gonna break in here
at any minute,
and then I won't be able
to help you.
(Don grunts softly)
Come on.
(takes deep breath)
Okay.
I'm ready to leave.
Okay.
Can you do one thing for me?
Tell Teddy that I'm sorry
and that I love him.
I will.
(yelps)
-(g*nsh*t in distance)
-CASEY: The f*ck?
Jesus f*cking Christ.
(grunting):
f*ck.
(bees buzzing)
(panicked grunting)
(thumping)
(thumping continues)
(liquid squelching)
-(running footsteps)
-(gate opens)
-TEDDY: Don?
-(gate closes)
Don!
Jesus!
Don.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I swear to you,
he did it to himself.
-He thought the police were
coming... -Don. No, no, no.
...and he panicked,
and he just freaked out.
Teddy, no. No.
-What did you say to him?
-Nothing.
(Teddy panting)
What f*cking filth did you
fill his sad brain with,
you demon from hell?
He was under
extreme pressure, Teddy.
-He cracked.
-And you cracked him!
You poisoned his heart
with lies and bullshit
until his whole f*cking world
collapsed, didn't you?
You fed him
a f*cking fairy tale.
He did all of this for you,
you f*cking maniac.
-Don't k*ll me, Teddy.
-(stammers)
I have a cure for your mother.
-What?
-There's a cure.
You can save her.
What are you saying?
Inside of her,
a big change is taking place.
It's an entire rearranging
-of her genetic code.
-(machine beeping steadily)
She was the first sample.
It's a very important
Andromedan experiment,
and it takes
four to five years.
But if it succeeds,
she will wake up.
Well, what if
it doesn't succeed?
Then she'll die.
But if we chemically terminate
the experiment,
she will wake up,
she'll wake up.
Well, how...
how-how do we do that?
-You have my car?
-Yes.
Okay. So, in my car,
in the trunk, in the back,
there is a bottle.
It's a yellow jug, and it says
"monoethylene glycol."
Antifreeze.
But forget the label.
It's not antifreeze.
It's the cure.
I keep it in my car,
in the trunk,
in the antifreeze jug
to hide it.
For safety.
TEDDY:
If...
i-if this experiment
is so important,
why would you allow me
to cancel it? Huh?
MICHELLE:
There are multiple experiments
happening all over the world--
your mother's one of dozens.
Just trust me.
I'm chained up here.
I have no way of escaping.
Why would I lie?
(laughing softly)
-(cracking) -(cries out)
-That's for Don,
-you f*cking virus.
-(moaning)
(Michelle growls)
-(cracking)
-(gasps)
(sighs)
(grunts)
(groaning)
(breathing heavily)
(panting)
(groans)
(grunting)
(keys jingling)
(sighs, panting)
(grunts)
(breathing heavily)
(clicking)
(panting)
(breathing heavily)
-(air whooshing rhythmically)
-(machine beeping steadily)
(rustling)
It's not antifreeze, Mom.
Don't worry.
(grunting)
(whispering):
Wake up, Mom. Wake up.
Come on. Come on.
Please, Mom. Please.
Come on, come on. Wake up.
Come on.
TEDDY:
Mom?
Wake up.
You can do it.
Wake up.
(breathy grunt)
(bed rattling)
(grunts)
-(rattling continues)
-(rhythmic grunting)
f*ck, f*ck, f*ck, f*ck, f*ck,
f*ck, f*ck, f*ck, f*ck, f*ck.
(beeping)
(flatline tone sounding)
(soft, gasping breaths)
(whimpers)
NURSE (in distance):
201, now!
(sobbing)
(flatline tone continues)
(Teddy grunting, panting)
NURSE:
Hey! Hey!
Hey!
(whimpers)
(mumbling)
(gate opens)
(breathing heavily)
You f*cking monster.
How many were Andromedans?
You-you... you lied to me.
How many were Andromedans?!
(breathing heavily)
-Two.
-Two?
You miserable f*cking idiot.
Do you know what you've done?
You...
you k*lled her.
Quiet.
(breathing heavily)
And I'll tell you why it is
I resemble a human.
Our 75th emperor
first discovered the Earth.
This planet was ruled
by dinosaurs,
magnificent creatures with
a complex but stable ecosystem.
-Oh.
-(whimpering)
But we inadvertently spread
a fatal virus to the planet.
And the emperor was struck
with guilt,
watching all of Earth's
creatures perish.
So he gave new life
to this planet.
Life resembling us.
The early test humans
could barely stand,
but soon they walked
and began to reproduce.
A civilization was born
in harmony with nature.
Atlantis.
We were worshipped as gods.
But some humans wished
to surpass us,
so they began creating
their own new,
lab-grown humans
that were stronger.
But the new humans were
also more aggressive,
so a conflict broke out
that eventually resulted in
a thermonuclear w*r.
And in the w*r's wake, all
of humanity was extinguished,
save for a select few,
who built an ark
and traveled the oceans
for a century.
When it was finally safe
to resurface on dry land,
the leaders of the ark died,
leaving behind
only a few mutant specimens
of degraded semi-humans.
The apes.
Evolution resumed
but toward chaos.
The newly evolved human beings,
your current ancestors,
fought amongst themselves
in an endless cycle of w*r,
genocide,
ecological destruction.
They brutalized Earth.
They ruined her waters,
ravaged her climate,
poisoned themselves
with drugs and technology.
And even when presented
with irrefutable evidence
of their own self-destruction,
the humans continued unabated.
Even I myself became more human,
more selfish and cruel,
the longer I stayed here
amongst your kind.
But humans can't help
the way they are.
It's in your genes.
The genes implanted
by your ancestors
to strengthen themselves.
It gets reproduced in your
bodies, and it grows stronger.
We Andromedans are here to
eliminate that suicidal gene.
To save humanity.
But also to save Earth
from you and your kind.
No.
(breathing heavily)
No, you came here to k*ll us.
Y-You came to k*ll us.
Well, that's wrong.
That's wrong, Teddy.
Some of us would have preferred
to simply eliminate
your species,
but the emperor believed
there was still hope,
so the experiments.
The experiments
your mother was a part of.
She was chosen
because she was weak.
Because she was broken.
If we could correct her,
perhaps all humans
could be corrected.
But you... you k*lled her!
You k*lled her.
I figured you'd be apprehended
feeding antifreeze
to a coma patient
and then I'd be freed
and could return to my work.
But you actually got away
with it, you sick ape.
I'm not a sick ape.
You are a sick ape.
Listen, there are other
test subjects
who are showing progress,
and we must show the emperor
the truth.
Tomorrow.
During the lunar eclipse.
(weakly):
Why? (sobs)
Teddy, listen, I know, I know.
You may hate me,
you may want me dead--
I don't blame you--
but I have the information
you need to save Earth,
and you know I do.
You're a f*cking demon.
This is our destiny, Teddy Gatz.
Yours and mine.
And the hour is almost upon us.
Yay.
GUARD:
Jesus, Ms. Fuller?
Hi, Ricky.
How are you? I'm back.
Could you buzz me in, please?
Are you okay?
Are you-you all right?
Oh, I'm all right.
Everything's been sorted out.
Could you just...
could you buzz me in, please?
Thank you, Ricky.
(sighs)
Park in your usual spot.
Don't worry, Don.
You're coming with me.
I'm taking you with me.
(driver's door closes)
(pained groaning)
Hi, Tony.
There you go.
Have a good evening.
TEDDY:
Hello.
(elevator whirring)
AUTOMATED VOICE:
Doors opening.
Doors closing.
Hi.
Good to see you.
It's good to be back.
Hmm.
Oh, it's-it's 5:35,
so if any of you need
to go home, just...
you know, feel free.
-Hi, Corey.
-Michelle?
Uh, we have some business
to do, so, um, no disturbances.
-Okay?
-COREY: Okay?
All right. Thank you.
(beeps, whirring)
Okay, so, uh, he-he meets us
here then? Or...
Uh, we make remote contact
with the emperor here,
and then they beam us up.
Beam us up?
Or, you know, transport.
TEDDY:
Okay.
(sighs) Uh, it sometimes
takes a couple of minutes
to get the link working, so...
Okay.
Uh, and, uh, how exactly
do we make the link?
Uh, this will sound crazy,
but, um,
I-I punch in a code here,
and then, um, it initiates
a link with the ship.
-On a calculator?
-(chuckles): Yeah, I know.
I know. It had to look banal.
And human.
And, you know,
inconspicuous, so...
It's a 58-digit code,
and I have it memorized,
but it's been a while
since I had to...
since I had to type it out,
so...
So, is this,
is this really how it works?
You know, it's better
if we don't talk, actually.
Just because I... Sorry.
It's a... It's this memory,
um, thing that I do,
like a trick for...
for remembering.
Um...
Um...
Can they see through here?
-Oh, no.
-Can they...
-Can they see in here?
-No.
Um...
(clicks tongue, whistles softly)
-Why is it so long?
-It's...
I have a few, um...
Just shh-shh for a,
for a second while I think.
-Oh. Sorry.
-Um...
(clicks)
Yeah. Okay.
That's...
That's it. Um...
I mean, I just have
to press "enter," mainly.
So, are you ready?
Yes, I'm ready.
f*ck, wait.
My air tank.
I'll need oxygen,
and I don't have my air tank.
Oh, there'll be oxygen, Teddy.
Okay.
What about Don?
Oh, we'll send for Don.
We may even be able
to revive him.
Right. So, it's happening. sh*t.
Um...
No, I'm ready. I'm ready.
Um...
you should know that I've
prepared for all eventualities.
Okay. Prepared how?
Oh.
-Oh, sh*t, Teddy.
-(beeps)
I can't take the chance of you
just k*lling me straightaway.
No. (clears throat)
That was smart.
That was very smart,
and the emperor will admire
your intelligence.
You're a credit
to your species, Teddy. Truly.
Well, I'm just trying to help.
I know, Teddy.
Um, so this... this closet here
is a teleporter.
So you'll...
you'll enter the closet,
and then you'll close
the door behind you.
And then I'll-I'll count
to three and press "enter."
And we'll have to go
one after the other
so that our bodies don't
reconstitute together
during teleportation.
You understand?
Uh-huh.
Yeah, I think so.
So I just go in the closet?
-I can go first. I...
-No, no, no, no.
I'll go first.
I don't want you to escape
and just leave me here.
Okay.
Ready?
I'm ready.
I'll see you up there.
Three.
Two.
One.
-(Teddy screaming)
-(sharp thump, body thuds)
(expl*si*n, metallic clanging)
(whooshing)
(indistinct shouting
in distance)
(sirens wailing)
(applause)
-(siren wailing)
-(engine revving)
DETECTIVE:
You're gonna be fine.
MICHELLE:
Yeah, I-I know.
DETECTIVE: I mean, obviously
the shock of it all is...
But you can get plenty of help
for that kind of thing.
So he's dead then?
-Yeah, he passed away.
-Okay.
The b*mb must have reacted
to his body heat or friction.
It happens a lot
with homemade expl*sives.
Right.
-Ma'am, please don't
take that off. -Look.
Ma'am, I'm gonna need you
to lie back down.
-I'm fine.
-You need to stay here.
-Can you just stay still?
-I'm good.
-I'm good. I'm good.
-Ma'am. Please. Hold on. Stop!
-Wait! Hold on!
-(horn honks)
Stop.
(siren continues wailing)
YOUNG DETECTIVE:
Hey, um, you're not...
(stammers)
Sorry, you're not, uh...
Oh, I just-- I forgot something.
Just really quickly. One second.
-You're not allowed in there.
-Just-just one sec, one sec.
Don't touch that! Hey! Hey!
Oh, my God. Jesus.
(rumbling)
(electrical buzzing)
(high-pitched
electrical ringing)
(gasps)
(breathing heavily)
(high-pitched
electrical ringing)
(soft, high-pitched
electrical ringing)
(speaking alien language):
(soft, high-pitched
electrical ringing)
(breath trembling softly)
(soft, high-pitched
electrical ringing)
(soft pop)
(high-pitched
electrical ringing)
(lights thumping softly)
(ship engine running)
(Marlene Dietrich's "Where Have
All the Flowers Gone?" playing)
Where have
all the flowers gone?
Long time passing
Where have
all the flowers gone?
Long time ago
Where have
all the flowers gone?
Young girls picked them,
every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?
Where have
all the young girls gone?
Long time passing
Where have
all the young girls gone?
Long time ago
Where have
all the young girls gone?
Gone to young men, every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?
Where have
all the young men gone?
Long time passing
Where have
all the young men gone?
Long time ago
Where have
all the young men gone?
Gone to soldier, every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?
Where have
all the soldiers gone?
Long time passing
Where have
all the soldiers gone?
Long time ago
Where have all
-The soldiers gone?
-(meowing)
Gone to graveyards,
every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?
(birds chirping)
Where have
all the graveyards gone?
Long time passing
Where have
all the graveyards gone?
-Long time ago
-(buzzing)
Where have
all the graveyards gone?
Gone to flower, every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?
Where have
all the flowers gone?
Long time passing
Where have
all the flowers gone?
Long time ago
Where have
all the flowers gone?
Young girls picked them,
every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?
(song ends)
(birds chirping)
(chirping continues)
(chirping continues)
(chirping continues)
(chirping continues)
(chirping continues)
(thunder rumbling)
(rain falling)
(chirping and rain continue)
(thunder rumbling)
(chirping and rain continue)
(chirping and rain continue)
(thunder rumbling softly)
(dog barking faintly)
(chirping and rain end)
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Bugonia (2025)
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