(static hissing)
(soft tense music)
(switch clicking)
(cutlery clanking)
(gentle melodic music)
- So it's my first day at
this prestigious company,
which is now being run by my old boss
from that talent agency.
Anyways, I'm in the bathroom
when all of a sudden,
these two guys at the urinals
next to me start arguing
about whether or not one of
them sounds like Dave Grohl.
One of them pulls out his phone,
starts playing a Foo Fighters song,
and he makes me guess
if it's Grohl singing
or the guy pissing next to me.
(washer rumbling)
And honestly I can't tell.
(cellphone ringing)
Sorry, hang on.
Anyways, then my boss asked
me to send some faxes,
but the copy room's so dark
that I can't even read the numbers.
So I go to flick on the lights,
it turns out it's some sort
of master power switch.
The whole building shuts down.
The place was going f*cking ballistic.
Next thing I know, I'm
getting pulled into HR,
they wanna go over some documents
that they found in my
trash the week before.
It's a plea deal for my DUI
and some notes on my Draft Kings lineup.
Basically, they think I have
a drinking and gambling problem,
but why wouldn't they bring
that up when they hired me?
So boss comes in, he
starts looking at my notes,
cut to, he's lecturing about
which stats are my best
when making a fancy baseball draft.
And he's talking about pitchers
in ways that I can't even understand.
So I just nod along.
The craziest part is I'm with this woman
who I used to work with at the agency
who's now an executive.
We're reminiscing about
an old colleague who,
well, he actually died of a
drug overdose a few years ago,
when all of a sudden, (laughs)
dead guy walks in the room,
picks up a pen off the desk and walks out.
She looks at me and asked
me if I'm gonna start crying
like I did at the agency
whenever I got nervous.
Basically, the guy never f*cking died!
And they made some fake obituary
in hopes that I'd read it.
So now I'm wondering if I should quit
or if it's just some sort
of f*cked up hazing ritual
to see whether or not I'm
a coward who can't hack it.
(brief ominous music)
Anyways, before I make a decision,
(brief ominous music)
I wake up.
What do you think it all means?
It's Carl, by the way. Call me back.
Come on.
"The dryer will be fixed by Friday.
It's gonna be fixed on Friday."
Well, it's Friday, Farook!
m*therf*cking dryer ain't fixed.
(door thudding)
(muffled melodic music)
- [Carl's Mom] Carl, is your
friend staying for dinner?
Carl, turn that music off!
- We are who we are
because of who we are surrounded by,
or, or who we surround ourselves with.
Okay, we are the sum of the...
We are the sum of those
we surround ourselves with
and luckily, when we met,
I still had plenty of
room for spare parts.
What does that even mean?
Okay, we are the sum of our relationships.
And I was lucky enough to
benefit from your taste in music
before you discovered BDM.
Come on, I know you're here somewhere.
Ah, there you are!
Beautiful.
Chain-smokers are the modern
day equivalent of Creed.
Mark my words.
Too harsh?
(soft melodic music)
(pill bottle rattling)
But that's
the beauty
of relationships, friendships,
all the ships really.
(soft melodic music)
They carry you out of your comfort zone,
so you can discover new places,
people, things.
Wait.
Oh, like when we met at Emerson
during freshman, freshman orientation.
There you are.
Is that a non sequitur?
Maybe I need a quote. Quote sequitur.
Freshman orientation.
Emerson on that glorious gray day.
Everyone wearing loafers
and polos and khakis.
It's an honor to be here.
(brief ominous music)
(mellow rock music)
(mellow rock music continues)
- [Arvin] Give me those keys, Butter Lips.
- Arvin.
(Arvin laughing)
- You'd best change those drawers.
You're gonna ruin that leather. (laughing)
Oh, sh*t.
(car door clicking)
So you're finally ready to
get rid of this old lady, huh?
I'll give you a deal, 1500,
'cause I know she needs work.
What with how you kids
like to jerk your gears
like you've found a second willy.
And I'm likely the one that's
gonna have to do that work,
but cash is king and Thomas queen.
So you got yourself a deal.
- Yeah, she's not for sale, Arvin.
- Oh, come on.
Don't tell me you couldn't
use the extra scratch.
I see that tiny little television set
you're always watching.
- You see what?
- Son, you got your blinds wide open
like you're giving a Muppet
show to the entire building.
What do you got in there, a 30 inch?
Me, I got myself a brand new
77 inch ultra HD 14K TV set.
(car door clunking)
- It's great.
You know what? I'm
really in a hurry, Arvin.
- All I'm saying is you don't
need this kind of horsepower.
A guy like you only needs like one horse.
Hey, whatever happened to that old girl
you used to hang out with?
Never see her painting her paintings.
I'm not gonna find her
in the dumpster, am I?
- How often you go dumpster diving?
(car door clicking)
(Arvin laughing)
- Hey man, not my case to solve.
All I'm saying, when a chick
magnet like this stops working,
maybe it's time to let someone
else hold the horseshoe.
Hell, I could take this
thing for a spin right now.
(car door clunking)
- Hey man,
get out of the car.
(soft tense music)
- Hey.
- Get out of the car!
- Goddammit, man, all you
had to say was no dice.
- Yeah, I shouldn't have to.
- No, no, I shouldn't have to.
(soft tense music)
- Dickhead.
(car door clunking)
- All right, f*ck you.
This is my dream car.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Kudos for not using this
as bait on your profile.
- You know, real fishermen
don't need flashy lures
to catch a prize fish.
- (laughing) How do they
know when they've caught one?
- Oh, trust me, they know.
(Monica laughing)
We know, we just, we do.
- Okay.
- I'm telling you.
- [Monica] Do you do a lot of fishing?
(car engine starting)
- Ah...
Like online or?
(Monica laughing)
- [Monica] I mean any form really.
- [Carl] Sometimes.
(mellow melodic music)
Got a feeling it takes my soul
Half 10, he said so
It's just a lie
And then I open up my eyes
(vocalist sings in French)
Whoa oh
Hey, hey
(truck horn blasting)
(car rumbling quietly)
(mellow melodic music)
My time, my time
My time, my time
(soft guitar music)
(soft guitar music continues)
(soft eerie music)
(door clicking)
- Come on!
No, people love that one.
(Carl laughing)
Oh, my goodness, who's this? (laughing)
Okay, wait, wait, wait.
(door thudding)
So no car or dog in the dating profile?
- Oh.
- Man, I have heard about burying a lead,
but you tried to like cremate it.
(Carl laughing)
What's her name?
- Her name's Penny, but her
real friend's call her Penguin.
- Oh, Penny the Penguin, stop. (laughing)
- [Carl] Can I get you anything?
You want some water, wine,
beer, whiskey, ecstasy, Molly?
- (laughing) No, no, no, no, no, no.
Wine please, if it's red.
- Red wine coming up.
- Yes.
Your place is eclectic.
- Eclectic?
- Yeah.
- Thanks, thanks, I think.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Yeah.
- Ah.
(glasses clinking)
Everything okay? Was it
something I said or...
It's okay, I'll just
call an Uber, it's fine.
- No, no, it's something,
it's something I didn't say.
It's something I should have said.
- [Monica] Carl, what
are you talking about?
(soft tense music)
- That guy, that little
f*cking bridge troll.
- [Monica] Oh, the karaoke host?
Is that still bothering you?
- Look, your name was next on the list,
I know your name was next on the list,
and those Neil bro hipsters paid off
that little f*cking bridge troll,
just so they can sing "Sweet Caroline"
for their hundredth f*cking time.
- [Monica] Okay, well, they
probably did everyone a favor
by not letting me up there, honestly.
- I just...
Not only do I hate that song,
but I hate when people do that
sh*t and nobody says a thing.
It just, it drives me crazy.
- I didn't want you to cause a scene.
Besides, now we can go back and try again.
- [Carl] Ah, I guess you're right.
- Pretty cool place, otherwise.
- I guess you're right.
Anyway, that sh*t never
would've gone down at Dimples
because that place had
standards, integrity,
even in its own weird ways, you know.
- Didn't you say Dimples
was the place Mr. Belding
used to go to pick up
starstruck young actresses?
- [Carl] Yeah, like I said, weird ways.
But we still had a really good time there.
You would've loved it.
- Well, I guess I'll never really know
because Dimples is a whole foods.
What are you doing? What's happening?
- [Carl] It's all right, hold on a second.
(mellow melodic music)
Yes.
- No.
- Yes.
- No. (laughing)
- [Carl] Yes, it's happening.
It's happening, dreams
really do come true.
- Oh, my God, no.
- Yeah, come on.
- I didn't ask for this.
- [Carl] You're up. You're up, babe.
Come on, come on.
- Okay, okay, okay.
Wait, wait.
There is a house in New Orleans
- Oh, God, I knew you could sing.
They call the Rising Sun
And it's been the ruin
of many a poor boy
And God, I know
- You know what?
You're one (laughing)
- Oh God, that was so sexy!
What a singer, what a singer.
My mother was a tailor
Yeah, because she sewed my new
Oh!
- Yes, it is.
Blue jeans
- Oh, I got a guitar solo for you.
My father was a gambling man
- Oh, was he?
Down in New Orleans
Now the only thing a gambler needs
- Right there, right there, yeah.
(both chattering)
Look here, look here, go, go.
(mellow melodic music)
Is when he's on a trump
(mellow melodic music)
(soft eerie music)
(people shrieking)
(car rumbling)
(wind blowing)
- [Narrator] Beyond where
the rubber meets the road
and below where the
heavens meet the hilltops
is where the blood meets the blade.
This is "m*rder in the Mountains."
- [Monica] It's just wild,
no one's even mentioned this neighborhood
since I moved to LA and now,
suddenly, everyone is moving here.
- [Carl] Yep.
- [Monica] Which means
it's too late to move here
because the prices have already doubled.
- [Carl] I knew it was coming.
- [Monica] Oh, really?
- [Carl] Yeah, when you know the signs,
you can get in on the ground floor.
- [Monica] Oh, okay, you got
me. So what are these signs?
- [Carl] Well, if you wanna
gentrify a neighborhood.
- Mm-hm.
- You'd open up a bar.
- [Monica] Yeah.
- You gotta start charging
20 bucks a c*ck
that involves some sort
of house-made, artisanal,
organic, farm to table bitters.
And that way, you scare
away all the locals
and you lure in all the moneyed hipsters.
Or you can just open up an art gallery.
- Ooh!
(Carl laughing)
So then how come you live in Burbank?
How come you didn't get in
on the ground floor here?
- Oh me, I hate street level.
Ugh, I really do.
(Monica laughing)
No, I much prefer to live above
the communal laundry room.
- Yeah.
- It's nice how it sort of
rocks us to sleep at night,
right, it's kind of like
an adult Snoo or something.
(Monica laughing)
Is that what it's called?
- Yeah, I think so.
- One of those, you know,
coin-operated motel beds?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
(Carl imitating mechanism)
- Oh, oh, oh, that's so sexy.
(both laughing)
Wow, they own this place?
- Yep.
- God, $20 for a c*ck
doesn't sound that bad anymore.
- No, I hate to admit it,
but they did well with the renovations.
- Yeah, I'm guessing they also do well.
Wait, wait, wait, did
you graduate together?
I mean, did you go to school
with Brett or Brooklyn?
- Okay, we all went to
Emerson, same class.
Brett grew up in Pasadena.
His parents were in the industry, clearly.
- Yeah.
Okay, well, don't worry.
I'll be on my best behavior, I promise.
- [Carl] It's not that,
I'm not worried about you.
You're awesome.
- Okay.
- [Carl] Yeah, always awesome.
- Okay. Then should I be nervous?
Your friends aren't in a cult, are they?
(Carl laughing)
Or worse, are they moneyed hipsters?
- Come on.
(Monica laughing)
- They can't be that bad, can they?
- No, it's not that, it's just-
(brief ominous music)
- Hey.
I've been watching you
for like five minutes
on my Ring camera, right. (laughing)
- [Carl] Wow, sweet sweater, bro.
- Thanks, Katie bought it.
- Oh, did she? Did she
buy you those jackets too?
- You must be Monica.
- Yes.
- I'm Brett.
- Hi.
Oh, sorry, I'm a hugger.
- Oh, hey, hey, hug is
good, hug is good too.
- I hope you like Prosecco.
- You know what, if it's
good enough for Carl,
then it probably won't k*ll us.
- Wow, it's funny.
(all laughing)
He's funny.
- Come on back.
Whole g*ng's back here.
- How you doing, bro?
(soft melodic music)
- Oh, you know, we were just talking
about how absolutely
gorgeous your home is.
- Oh, thanks, yeah, we
put a ton of work into it,
but it seems like there's always
another project to tackle.
- Yeah, I'm not sure if
finding the cheapest guy
outside of Home Depot
qualifies as a ton of work.
- Brooklyn, you can't say
that, it's not their fault
America makes it impossible
to get a work visa.
- Babe, I wasn't joking about them,
I was joking about Brett.
- Monica, this is Dallas and Brooklyn.
- Hi.
- You're Monica?
- And you're home to the worst
basketball team in New York.
(all laughing)
- Oh, my God, I love you already.
Is that obsidian?
- [Monica] Yes, good eye.
Never leave home without it.
- It's her spiritual pepper spray.
Where's Katie?
- [Brett] Just putting a board together.
I'll let her know you're here.
- You guys, I'm so sorry for
not greeting you at the door.
(door thudding)
I always get stuck in the
weeds with these things.
No pun intended.
(all laughing)
- [Brett] Ah, yeah, the herbs
and veggies come from Katie's,
oh, sorry, excuse me, Chef's garden.
- [Katie] It is so lovely to meet you.
- You too. It's so nice to
put faces to all the stories.
- Do any of them involve
swashbuckling or jumper squads?
- No, but I'm listening.
- I think they'd rather start the game.
- Yes, of course.
I haven't played Salad
Bowl since theater camp.
- Well, would you like to
join team one or team two?
- Oh, my God, Carl, you did not tell me
that Brett and Katie are
engaged, congratulations.
When's the date?
I'm sorry, that was insanely
personal and uncouth.
You don't have to answer that.
- Don't or can't.
- Look, everybody knows,
well, almost everybody,
we spent two years saving up
and then the market crashed,
and then inflation hits.
- Inflation.
- And now things are finally
starting to get back to normal.
- [Katie] And?
- And that means we can set a date.
We'll do it next week, okay.
- Or?
- Or I will call that
ranch in Bozeman Monday,
Monday, all right.
- Monday.
- Oh, speaking of, are you guys following
that missing girl in Montana?
- Yes, I love true crime.
I've heard they're already making it
into a podcast and a miniseries.
- Do you get the TMZ crime alerts?
I cannot stop thinking
about that new interview.
Those poor parents.
- Poor parents?
Come on, they're clearly
culty, clear-cut culty.
They probably sacrificed Jenny
in some demonic harvest ritual.
(gentle tense music)
- Wait, a cult?
- Yeah.
- Hun, where did you get that?
- Have you seen them?
- Yeah, I've seen them, but
clearly, it's the neighbor.
I mean, all that farmland.
- You can hide a body.
- Mm-hm.
- [Monica] That's exactly
what I thought, yeah.
- And that old woman, she is so sketchy.
I mean, her kitchen, it screams hoarder.
- She's such a hoarder, she
wouldn't even get rid of a body.
- Monica, you are so dark, I love it.
- Well, Brooklyn and I
think it's the boyfriend.
I mean, did you see him trying to cry?
It was like wringing on a dry sponge.
- When did we see this?
- You always think it's the boyfriend.
- That's because it always is.
Unless of course, it's the
husband, AKA former boyfriend.
I mean, did you see
his tweets? He's crazy.
- Maybe she drove him crazy, right?
In which case, k*lling her
would be an act of self-defense.
- Are you kidding me?
I can't tell if you're being
an as*h*le or an idiot right now.
- I'm just being impartial.
I'm just trying to look at both sides,
instead of calling someone crazy
and condemning them to a hot takedown.
- Carl.
- Well, the rest of us,
women, people of color,
every other marginalized group,
don't have the privilege of both sides
because we're victims
of cis white monsters.
No, I'm sorry, men like you.
- I'm just saying the boyfriend
doesn't have to be crazy,
he could have another motive.
- That's not an excuse.
- It's not an excuse, it's a reason.
- For treason. (laughing)
A reason for treason?
Oh, my God, you don't remember?
Oh, it was one of those
perfect fall nights.
So when the cops broke
up the party in Austin,
we cut through the
Commons on the way home.
Dallas, love of my life,
had just transferred,
so Brett, Carl and I were
still living in the dorm.
Next thing we know, somehow Carl manages
to get on the roof of the building.
- Somehow, yeah, somehow I
recall you suggesting it,
maybe even leading me up there.
- Anyway, it's like two a.m.,
right and Carl's out there,
I'm talking 10 stories up,
screaming about swashbuckling and f*cking.
- Oh, my God, please tell me there's more.
- Oh, stay tuned. So now Carl
wakes up the whole building.
So there's a crowd outside,
and here he is at the edge of the roof,
tearing pages out of a textbook
making up stone in September.
- [Dallas] That's right.
They thought he was
throwing a suicide note.
- [Brooklyn] So somebody
called the police.
(muffled tense music)
Even the news came.
- Because they thought he was a jumper.
- And they shut down oils,
did you guys know this?
For the first time since
the Sox won the Series.
Some chief gets on the megaphone,
starts asking Carl why
he's doing what's doing
and that's when Carl famously says,
"A reason?
I will give you a reason.
A reason for treason!" (laughing)
How theatrical.
Well, every time I hear someone
say, "Give me a reason,"
I think about that night, what a night.
What a crazy f*cking night!
- You weren't really going to-
- Anyone else want some?
- Yes.
- Were you?
- Carl was always saying
crazy sh*t back then.
He was like Hemingway on a bender,
whenever, no, whenever he
was on a bender. (laughing)
But that's what made him such
a great songwriter, right?
- Brett and Carl were in a
blues punk band in college,
which is as cool as it sounds.
- [Carl] And in LA.
- Until they grew up.
- Well, to Los Angeles, where,
where dreams become fantasies.
(glasses clinking)
- Cheers.
- All right.
- Nice and light, Carl.
- Cheers.
We'll be so
(knife thudding)
(brief ominous music)
(cellphone ringing)
No, I can't do that
I'll take the thought out of your head
(muffled ominous music)
- Hey!
- Hi.
- We're on our way.
- Yeah.
- [Both] Salvation Muffin.
- Oh!
- Whoo!
(both laughing)
- [Dr. Herman] Hello,
Carl, Dr. Herman here.
Sounds like we have a lot to talk about.
However, I would suggest you refrain
from leaving lengthy messages,
so we can process these things in session.
Speaking of, it's now a quarter
after, so unfortunately,
I will have to charge
you another no show fee.
Please call my office to reschedule.
(all chattering)
(soft tense music)
- Go ahead and just give
me like a little pucker.
Okay, maybe even just like
caress, like caress the car.
- Okay, okay, okay, love
it, love it, love it.
- Yeah, like actually, like lean into it.
- Excuse me.
- Like-
- Excuse me, hi, yeah.
- Ooh, hi!
- This isn't some like Insta Wall
at a vegan seafood restaurant.
It's, it's not for like,
it's a car, it's my car.
- [Brett] Whoa, whoa, chill, dude.
You're like scaring the traffic.
So you're like-
- Shouldn't you ask
before you take photos?
- Yeah, but this car is
rage, like total rage for us.
Why would you wanna
keep it all to yourself?
That's like so, you're selfish.
- Yeah, dude, like someone's totally
going to like glam gram this ride,
it's not going to be
you, so it should be us.
- Yeah, what do you have against
my gram? You don't know me.
- I, I don't.
- Typical.
- Really typical, like,
dude, like just like grow.
Well, you're already grown,
but like, you could do better.
- I'm just-
- I know.
- Look...
- [Suds] Yes?
- If you're gonna do it right,
you should really get
some shots of the grill,
it's its signature feature.
- Oh, I got wide, do wide again.
- [Carl] It's good from
the low angles, from the...
- We've got it.
(soft tense music)
- Okay, yeah, that's, go ahead and do it.
- Do I jump on?
(brief ominous music)
- [Carl] Do you want some photos too?
- What?
- Huh?
(soft tense music)
- Gimme some beer.
- [Carl] What?
- [Gus] Beer, I forgot my license.
- How old are you, kid?
- 23.
- Look, I don't have time for this.
(soft tense music)
- Don't be a f*ck.
(soft tense music)
Hey.
(wind howling)
(background melodic music)
(door thudding)
(background melodic music)
(brief ominous music)
(background melodic music)
(brief ominous music)
(tense melodic music)
- [Cashier] Hey!
- Sorry.
- Does the devil like cookies?
(soft tense music)
- What?
- [Cashier] Well, ask
him when you see him.
(door clicking)
(bell chiming)
- [Carl] Hey!
Hey, put that down, man. Get
the f*ck away from my car!
- What are you doing?
(tense melodic music)
(traffic rumbling quietly)
(brief ominous music)
(weapon thudding)
(tense dramatic music)
(weapon thudding)
(tense dramatic music)
- Let's go, baby, yes!
- Hey.
- I know, look at this.
Their skin is skinny.
- And I'm in the background.
- Yes, give me a little moment.
(both laughing)
(soft tense music)
Yes.
(tires screeching)
(tense melodic music)
(traffic rumbling)
(tense melodic music)
(traffic rumbling)
(wind blowing)
(tense melodic music)
(zipper whirring)
(soft melodic music)
- Ready?
- Yeah.
(door clicking)
Oh, wow!
- I'm bad, right?
- Yeah, you can go shorter
with the pants though.
- Oh, yeah, is that, that
trending right now? (laughing)
- Like you shouldn't be
afraid to show a little sock
or a little ankle, it's
time to crop those cuffs.
- Yeah, well, I can't cut them any longer.
So six months from now and that
style's going out of style.
I'm stuck with what, short pants?
- Well, if this is for the wedding,
then you shouldn't really be concerned
about what happens after the wedding.
(door clicking)
(bell jangling)
- Any other notes?
- Just that it looks amazing.
You'll definitely stand out
which is probably inevitable
because the wedding is California casual.
I'm just saying, the invite
says ties are optional,
which would make tuxes even optional blur.
- I always wanted a tux,
I always imagined a tux.
- So did I, at least until I moved to LA.
Babe, it looks great, it
really does, it's just...
I mean, can we really
afford this right now?
Unless Ziegler gave you that raise
and you just haven't told me.
- Well, I had it tailored
so I can't return it.
And you're fully f*cking aware of that,
which means you're only saying
this to make me feel bad.
- Do not take that tone with me.
- What? You took it, I'm
just trying to get it back.
I'm just reacting to your insults.
- Carl, you're not a child.
You're responsible for your own emotions.
(door clicking)
(bell jangling)
So if you're upset,
you need to use your
words and not your anger.
You call yourself a writer,
but you can't even
articulate your own feelings.
- What does that have to do with anything?
It's not even me.
(gentle tense music)
(pill bottle rattling)
- Hey, I love the tux.
You'll be my knight in shining silk armor.
- How you doing on your own
armor, silk or otherwise?
- Oh, um, that dress isn't available,
so I have to start the search
again, but I'll find one,
the perfect one.
(pill bottle rattling)
(door thudding)
(traffic rumbling)
(soft melodic music)
(traffic rumbling)
(soft melodic music)
(traffic rumbling)
(soft melodic music)
(traffic rumbling)
(soft melodic music)
(top clattering)
(soft melodic music)
(soft melodic music continues)
(traffic rumbling quietly)
(gentle tense music)
(muffled metal music)
(gentle tense music)
(RV engine revving)
(gentle tense music)
- What?
(car door clicking)
(RV engine revving)
What?
(RV engine revving)
(muffled metal music)
Get the f*ck outta here!
(muffled metal music)
(tense melodic music)
(muffled metal music)
(car door clunking)
(car rumbling quietly)
(traffic rumbling quietly)
(gentle tense music)
(traffic rumbling quietly)
(gentle tense music)
(traffic rumbling quietly)
(gentle tense music)
- [Announcer] Bringing his
hit one-man Broadway show
to Netflix in a six-part miniseries.
This epic workover visionism
chronicles the entire crucifixion
in real time with a real voice.
Andrew Garfield is "Christ on a Cross."
(tense melodic music)
(Monica sighing)
- [Carl] Red Vine?
- Couldn't you at least try to enjoy it
or say something positive?
You're so cynical, you ruin everything.
- I don't see the big deal.
All I said is that Andrew Garfield
looks like a child playing dress-up.
Even in "Spider-Man," when he's
supposed to be dressing up,
it feels like he's dressing up
as someone playing dress-up, you know.
It's like the kid on
Halloween who's too old
to go trick or treating, but
his parents are health nuts
and all that kid wants
is that big Kit-Kat,
that king-size f*cking Kit-Kat.
- But you said that during the movie,
during an emotional scene.
- Was it?
- You have no emotional intelligence.
- I just said what I was feeling,
isn't that the definition
of emotional intelligence?
- No, it's not.
- How can I get invested in, in a scene,
when I can't get past Andrew Garfield
trying to act like an adult
in order to appreciate
the part that he's
actually trying to play?
- You're insane.
- No, I'm just not a fan.
- You're never a fan. You're
negative all of the time.
You ruin everything for me.
I was actually looking
forward to that movie.
(car rumbling quietly)
- At least I'm only negative
about things, other things.
All you do is criticize me.
And who f*cking cares
about movies or music
that we're not involved with,
that we don't have anything to do with?
I mean, if we're a team,
shouldn't we just align against
the things that we dislike?
- Stop.
- No, but isn't that
the great thing about being a couple?
Shouldn't it be us against the world
instead of us against each other?
- I said stop, literally,
stop the f*cking car!
(seat belt clicking)
- Are you serious?
- Yes, I-I can't take-
(tires screeching)
- Monica.
- Yes, now.
(car door clicking)
- What? Where are you going?
(car door clunking)
Monica!
(mellow melodic music)
(traffic rumbling quietly)
Hey, the multiverse is that way!
(mellow melodic music)
(traffic rumbling quietly)
(mellow melodic music continues)
I had it figured out
at your mother's house
The words you wouldn't sprout
Underneath your blouse
(mailbox clanking)
(soft tense music)
(locker door clicking)
I went outta town
(locker door clanking)
I'm lying on our bed
(door thudding)
The words are in the air
(door clicking)
(door thudding)
(gentle melodic music)
(gentle melodic music continues)
(gentle melodic music continues)
- [Carl] I mean, I
guess he was pretty good
in "Social Network,"
but that was a long time ago.
Okay, all right, get
back to it, where was I?
It was an honor to be there
when Brett and Katie first met,
I, I mean, matched.
Actually, I was also there
when they really did meet
and I realized they were
indeed the perfect match.
Cheesy, whatever.
But my greatest honor is to be here today,
chronicling what has led them
to this beautiful moment.
Oh, thank God.
Guys being guys. Sorry about that.
(door thudding)
It was just a question.
- [Monica] No, it was an
accusation. I can't believe this.
You just completely humiliated
me in front of everyone.
- [Carl] Jesus, I can't open my mouth
without you jumping down my throat.
- I was just trying to
stop you from ruining your
self-proclaimed best
friend's engagement party.
- My self, what? It wasn't even
about them, it was about us
- And Brooklyn.
- No sh*t, he was the one
you were flirting with.
- God, you are delusional.
- Okay, so what, he was flirting with you,
does that make it any better?
- No and it doesn't make the whole notion
any less crazy either.
I'm friends with Brooklyn
just like I'm friends with everyone.
- You're not that friendly with everyone.
- Well, what do you expect?
We've been working together.
We've been emailing every
day and it was your idea.
- Look, I know what I saw, okay,
you touched his arm, he touched your leg.
- When did you become so
paranoid and possessive?
- You guys left the room at the same time.
- Fine.
Yes, okay, so f*cking
what? He touched my leg.
If people need affection,
it's an innate natural desire.
So if they aren't getting it at home,
they might just welcome it elsewhere.
- Oh, oh, so what, this is my fault now?
- You aren't romantic.
Not anymore. I don't even
know how you feel about me.
It's like we're roommates
or we're brother and sister.
- Look, I proposed, didn't
I? That's, that's romantic.
And you're getting everything,
you're getting stability,
everything you ever wanted, so.
- I basically forced you to propose,
so that doesn't really count.
Plus you asked some random
stranger to film it,
very romantic.
- Holy sh*t!
We were on a hike, okay, two
and a half hours in by foot.
What, do you want me to
helicopter in a photographer?
- You don't get it, you
have tried so hard to forget
that you've forgotten how to remember.
- What does that even mean?
What does that mean, what, I...
Here, I got it.
- No.
(car door clicking)
- You know what your problem is?
You're only happy when you're sad.
- But I'm not happy,
and I don't think I can be, not with you.
(car door clunking)
(soft melodic music)
(soft tense music)
(car door clunking)
(dogs barking)
(soft tense music)
(g*n firing)
(dogs barking)
(soft tense music)
(car door clicking)
(soft melodic music)
(tire iron clanking)
(car door clunking)
Sitting in the back of the car
I don't even know where we are
Got here in the pouring rain
I think I might be insane
(door clicking)
Didn't have to drive so far
I just wanna be where you are
Trying to find the words to say
Not sure what is real or fake
Falling down from heaven
Falling down from heaven
Falling down from heaven above
Falling down from heaven
Falling down from heaven
Falling down from heaven above
Voices running through my head
Tangled with the words you said
But all, baby, that I know
I don't wanna let you go
Falling down from heaven
Falling down from heaven
Falling down from heaven above
Falling down from heaven
- Lucky day.
Falling down from heaven above
(light melodic music)
(door clicking)
(cellphone pinging)
(gentle tense music)
(gentle tense music continues)
(gentle tense music continues)
(background people chattering)
(door clicking)
(door thudding)
(melodic guitar and harmonica music)
(melodic guitar and
harmonica music continues)
(melodic guitar and
harmonica music continues)
(brief ominous music)
(gentle tense music)
(melodic guitar and harmonica music)
(knuckles rapping)
(background people chattering)
(knuckles rapping)
- [Monica] Oh, hey, he's hot, hello.
(door clicking)
- [Carl] Hey.
- You came.
- Before you get upset
or, or, or more upset,
just remember that we were both-
- [Dallas] Who the hell is that, Carl?
- I tried texting, it didn't go through.
Although I know this place has WiFi,
so unless you blocked me.
- [Dallas] You have got to be kidding me.
- You blocked me?
- I didn't want to, but I
read that it's important-
- No, this is not okay.
What are you doing here?
- Look, I just wanted to come say hello
to avoid any weirdness at the wedding.
- The wedding, you can't be serious?
- We didn't think you'd come.
- But I was invited.
- You what? Oh!
- Okay, one minute.
(door thudding)
Let me talk to him.
- [Dallas] What's there to talk about?
He was invited, but
he's no longer invited.
How does he not understand that?
- [Monica] I don't know, but well,
nobody explicitly told him not to come.
- [Dallas] No, do not defend him.
Carl is not an idiot even if
he acts like one sometimes.
He knows there's an unwritten
rule in every social contract
that any other decent
human being would abide by.
- But, but why me, why was I rejected?
(door clicking)
I've been best friends with
Brett for 15 years, okay.
I've known Katie for
literally as long as he has.
I introduced you to them last year,
so tell me, how is that fair?
- And your solution to that
is to crash their wedding?
- Yeah, how's that fair?
How's that fair to Brett and Katie?
- I'm not crashing,
that's my entire point.
My name was on the invitation.
I wasn't even a plus one.
If anyone's a plus one,
come on, it's you, Monica.
- When was the last
time you actually talked
to Brett or Katie?
Things change.
- Oh, but not for Carl.
He's been causing trouble since college.
You've got some f*cking
nerve, you know that?
- Yeah, yeah, you know what? You're right.
You're right, it took a lot
of nerve to show up here.
Most people wouldn't have.
But I actually had the nerve to come here
to try and avoid causing a scene later.
- Well, that backfired, clearly.
- That's the Carl curse,
always goes in with the best intentions,
but always makes matters worse.
- Nobody wants you here.
- You never wanted me anywhere.
You've always had a problem with me
and I never understood why?
- Oh, I don't know,
maybe it's because you get
Brooklyn into bar fights
or maybe it's 'cause you
take him outta town for days,
or maybe it's because you nearly got him
kicked outta school.
- Oh, really, I did all
that? Are are you sure?
- Or maybe it's because you
talked him into experimenting
and gave him those hickeys.
- You what?
- Or maybe it's because you're
a selfish stalker as*h*le.
I mean, how'd you even
find us here, psycho?
- Oh, that was actually pretty easy
considering I'm the one
who rented this place.
I guess Monica forgot to mention that.
Yeah, you see, I let you
guys keep this place,
which means I rented another place,
which means I'm actually
paying for both places.
Some call it the Carl Curse.
- No, no, you wouldn't.
Where's your car?
- I just walked.
- You psycho f*cking stalker!
(blow thudding)
- There were other places.
The only place available in all of-
(Dallas shrieking)
(brief ominous music)
- Whoa!
Get over here.
What the...
Can we just, I don't know,
chill with the homicidal
hormones for a second?
We haven't even cracked the pet mat.
- What took you so long?
- [Brooklyn] Huh?
- What were you doing in there?
- In where, the bathroom?
I was taking a soak.
Am I the only one who can't
get a little self-care?
And I didn't wanna track
water through the house,
which I'm sure someone's
deposit can appreciate.
Look, let's just hit pause, go
back to our separate corners.
Once we get a little
self-care or self-medicate,
I'm sure we can straighten
this whole thing out.
- Don't placate him.
He's a mental patient and
shouldn't be placated.
He should be thrown out.
- Dallas.
- I'm sorry, but we chose
sides and we chose Monica.
- Sides, what the f*ck?
We're not at w*r, are we?
I mean, what, when the
hell did this even happen?
- After you disappeared
and Monica reached out.
You know what, it
doesn't matter, we chose,
all of us.
(gentle tense music)
- (sighing) All right,
that's enough. Come on.
- Come on, man.
We've been friends for how long?
I've known you almost as long as Dallas,
except for that one year
you took your little break.
- Listen, listen, this
fracturing of friendships,
it's f*cked up, but it
doesn't make it any less real.
There was a choice, man, but
I didn't really get to choose.
You know what I mean?
- So what, I just get left with
the short end of the stick?
Hell, I didn't even get a stick.
(door thudding)
- [Monica] You know, but
we were pretty hard on him.
- [Dallas] People like him,
you have to set boundaries.
(gentle melodic music)
(gentle melodic music continues)
(brief ominous music)
(Carl gasping sharply)
- sh*t.
Sorry about all the yelling.
My friends, you know.
If it even bothered you.
(soft eerie music)
(soft harmonica music)
- [Kenny] My f*cking toy, you little sh*t!
(toy clattering)
(soft tense music)
- [Terri] So shut the f*ck
up and get the f*ck done.
- Terri.
Hey, Terri.
(soft eerie music)
- Really? You don't have
anything better to do?
(melodic rock music)
(RV engine revving)
Are you just gonna sit there all day?
(melodic rock music)
(RV engine revving)
You're lucky, I should
be calling the cops,
but I got better things to do.
(melodic rock music)
(RV engine revving)
Laugh it up, laugh it up. (laughing)
(both laughing)
(soft eerie music)
- That's funny.
- Really?
You don't have anything
better to do than follow me?
(both laughing)
(soft eerie music)
f*ck you!
(muffled rock music)
Watching you.
(soft eerie music)
(door thudding)
(soft eerie music)
(soft eerie music continues)
(soft eerie music continues)
(cicadas chirping)
(soft eerie music)
(soft ominous music)
Girl, don't lie to me
Tell me, where did
you sleep last night
In the pines, in the pines
Where the sun don't ever shine
I'll shiver the whole night through
(shower pattering)
Girl
(knuckles rapping)
Girl
(knuckles rapping)
(footsteps thudding)
(knuckles rapping)
(soft melodic music)
(cutlery clattering)
(cabinet doors creaking)
(knuckles rapping)
In the pines, in the pines
Where the sun don't ever shine
I'll shiver the whole night through
(soft tense music)
(door clicking)
- Whoa, whoa, man!
Whoa!
Take it easy.
This isn't some kind of ambush, okay.
I left Dallas and the knives
at La Casa de Adobe, baby, okay.
Come on, man. They might be
against you, but I'm not.
I'm here to make peace.
(gentle melodic music)
- Yeah, come on in.
- First off, man, you are right.
This situation isn't fair.
Everything is completely f*cked.
(door thudding)
Yeah, we felt blindsided by Monica,
and then blindsided by Brett,
and even blindsided by Dallas.
- [Carl] Forgetting someone?
- That's the thing, man, I'm on your side
just like I've always been, on your side.
And once everything settles
down and blows the f*ck over,
I will help you fix things.
- Oh yeah?
- Yeah.
- You really think we'll all
be friends again after this?
- f*ck, yeah, man. Facts,
it's just a matter of time.
(light melodic music)
- Hey, you, ah, you see an RV outside?
- Ah, I don't know, maybe.
- Any kids in it?
Anyway.
Yeah, nevermind.
You want a drink?
- Yeah, sure, what do you got?
So, you know, you can rest easy
knowing that you got me in your corner.
I'll be like a little
devil up on their shoulder,
f*cking, an angel.
Either way, I'll be telling
them you are a good dude.
(soft tense music)
You're still a good dude.
(zipper whirring)
- Thanks, man,
that's all I really wanted to hear.
- Damn!
(soft tense music)
You rented a tux?
You know we're in J.
Tree, right? Desert vibes.
Not to mention the whole
upstaging the groom thing.
- It's not a rental.
- You bought a tux?
Not to say that you can't afford one,
but can you afford one?
- It was for our wedding.
- Oh.
- Seemed like kind of a waste
to just leave it in the closet, you know.
- Yeah.
(zipper whirring)
Well.
(sighing) Hey man, it's
always good to have one
in case you need one.
And I'm sure one day,
you're gonna need one.
- Yeah.
- f*ck, yeah, classic, a
Carl Classic, my friend.
I haven't had a Peps in years,
and I'm sure Red Catering,
we're only gonna be having organic wine
and f*cking Aperol spritzers.
- Truly.
- Oh, Truly, f*cking Truly.
Real men like us, we need a real beer
to take the edge off, you know.
Not to say they, men can drink Truly,
that's not what I'm saying.
I'll have a Truly once in
a while, bowling, you know.
- Bachi.
- sh*t, hey, listen, I gotta go.
Drive safe, man.
I'll text you in like a week
once we're back up to speed with the kids
and Dallas lets me out of
the f*cking house again.
We'll catch a game or
grab a drink, all right.
- [Carl] What are you talking about?
I'll see you in an hour.
- I thought we cleared things up.
- What, what does that mean?
- That you're gonna wait
for things to calm down,
that you won't crash the wedding.
- I think I'd regret that, you know,
I think everyone would regret
that once things calm down.
(gentle tense music)
- Huh?
- [Carl] Yeah.
- Are you
f*cking kidding me?
Oh, Dallas is gonna go ape sh*t.
You are gonna ruin my f*cking night.
- Why, why? It's not her wedding.
- Because I'm supposed to see taillights,
your f*cking taillights.
And now Dallas is gonna be riding my a*s
all f*cking weekend.
And we never get a chance
away from the kids.
Oh, my f*cking God, we never do anything.
This was my one shot, my one opportunity
to let loose, to loosen the noose.
Are you seriously going to ruin that?
- Ruin it? Listen to yourself, man.
Just stand up to her,
stand up for yourself.
Jesus Christ, she still thinks
I gave you that f*cking hickey.
- You don't get it, you're not
married, so you don't get it!
And what's f*cked up
is that you're not even
trying to get it, man.
They're right about you.
You're the one who has changed
and you've become a completely
selfish f*cking psycho,
to be honest.
(door clicking)
(soft tense music)
(door thudding)
(ring pull clicking)
(beer hissing)
(lock clicking)
(brief ominous music)
(soft tense music)
(zipper whirring)
(Carl burping)
(carl exhaling heavily)
Oh, I didn't
Oh, I got you, man
I see you there
Now we're the same now
Ours is now
(melodic upbeat music)
(melodic upbeat music continues)
(zipper whirring)
(cellphone ringing)
- Hello.
- [Suzanne] Hello, Carl,
it's Suzanne Ziegler.
- Hello, Mrs. Ziegler. How are you?
- Fine, fine, but I heard
that you called in sick this morning.
- Yes, I did because-
- I have a note here telling me
that the last time you called in sick,
it was in fact your dog who was sick,
which would actually
constitute a vacation day,
which does require two weeks notice.
Does that sound about right?
- I guess.
- So tell me, Carl, which
one of you is sick this time,
you or your dog?
- My dog is dead.
- Oh my, I'm sorry to hear that.
I'm also sorry to inform you
that you're out of sick
days and vacation days.
- Really? Anna failed to
mention that this morning.
But I guess, maybe I could still come in.
I guess it's getting a little late though,
so I don't know if-
- Well, I was just made aware of this
when I called into the office.
- Oh, where are you? Is everything okay?
- Everything's fine, Carl, I'm in Tulum.
- Tulum, weren't you just in
Tulum, or was that Cabo or-
- Carl, this isn't about
me, this is about you
and your recent decline in productivity.
- Yeah, listen, I did
call in sick this morning,
but actually, ah,
my dryer broke and,
and my clothes were wet
and nobody wants someone working
next to them with wet clothes.
So yes, I took a sick day.
(Suzanne sighing)
But I've been working hard from home,
so I don't fall behind,
you know, further behind.
- Carl, I have your active
track in front of me right now.
- Active track?
(soft tense music)
- It's standard, state-compliant,
employee monitoring software,
completely standard.
Many, many, many companies
are using it right now.
- Wait, so you're just,
you're watching us work
in real time all of the time?
- My point is, your daily input
level is at a big fat zero
and your ID is idle.
I'm guessing you haven't
even signed in today.
(drink sloshing)
- Yeah, you know what, I,
I gotta go, Ms. Ziegler.
(Suzanne coughing)
- Excuse me?
- Yeah, look, I'm in Joshua Tree, okay,
but not on vacation, not, not really.
I'm here for a wedding that I'm going to,
that my ex-fiancee is also going to,
so it's a, it's a little, it's a little,
it's a crazy situation.
- Why in God's name
would somebody invite you
and your ex to their wedding?
- Exactly, no.
Well, you see, when we were
invited, we were still together.
But I guess there was some
sort of unspoken understanding,
at least, it was unspoken to me
that I wouldn't attend anymore,
even though I'm the one
who introduced Monica to every
single person at the wedding,
including the bride and groom.
Can you believe that Mrs. Ziegler,
I mean, can you f*cking believe that?
- No, Carl, I can't. You know what?
Don't worry about missing work today.
- Really?
- [Suzanne] In fact, don't even
bother coming in on Monday.
- Wait, are you firing me?
- No, no, of course not,
I just need some time
to review our company's morality clause.
- So you're trying to fire me?
- Goodbye, Carl.
- No, wait, Mrs. Ziegler,
this is, this is treason.
- Have fun at the wedding.
- [Carl] A travesty
that's bullshit! Hello?
- Did you even put alcohol in this?
Oh, I love it here though,
for real. (laughing)
- f*ck!
(Carl sighing)
(ring pull clicking)
(beer hissing)
(mellow melodic music)
There is a house down in New Orleans
They call, they call the Rising Sun
- Brett, you and I have known
each other a long time, buddy.
And your beautiful wife, Katie.
Your beautiful mom, looking at you, Donna.
Sorry, Bill.
It's so nice to have
you all here gathered,
celebrating
the happy couple.
Yeah, I'm not wearing this.
(Carl breathing deeply)
Congrats, you guys.
My father, he's a drunkard
- Let's party!
I wander through the streets
That's when he
(door thudding)
(soft eerie music)
(light clicking)
(gentle tense music)
(wind howling)
(gentle tense music)
(wind howling)
(gentle tense music)
(wind howling)
(gentle tense music)
(wind howling)
(gentle tense music)
(wind howling)
(gentle tense music)
(wind howling)
(window lock clicking)
(gentle tense music)
(gentle tense music continues)
(car horn tooting)
(Kenny thudding)
(distant dog barking)
(gentle tense music)
(cellphone ringing)
- [Kenny] sh*t!
sh*t!
Where is he?
- Huh? No.
What's in there? What'd you find?
- Jesus Christ, I just got in
the f*cking window. Chill out.
- Don't tell me to chill out.
Hurry up and quit f*cking around.
- Did you tell me to hurry up?
You better not use the rest
of our sh*t while I'm in here.
- Why the f*ck not?
That's why you're in there, ain't it?
So shut the f*ck up and get the f*ck-
(gentle tense music)
- [Kenny] Jackpot.
(gentle tense music)
Are you f*cking kidding me?
Rub your eyes, see
the way he's gone now
(soft tense music)
- [Kenny] (sniffing) Oh! (coughing)
(soft tense music)
(cellphone ringing)
f*ck.
Is he f*cking coming?
- What's taking so long?
- [Kenny] Are you f*cking
kidding me? I just got in here.
- Bullshit, it's been like an hour.
- [Kenny] I've been here
for 30 f*cking seconds.
- You're probably just
taking all the good sh*t
and stashing it so you can
go keep it for yourself,
you greedy m*therf*cker.
- I, I am not and I'm f*cking not, okay.
sh*t, we're taking just
some stink a*s clothes
and a f*cking busted a*s computer.
- Just remember that you
got more mouths to feed
than your own, four f*cking mouths
and your lazy a*s hasn't worked all year.
- You ain't worked either.
Hell, you ain't worked ever.
- Well, that's 'cause I gotta
take care of your dirty a*s
and your dirty a*s kids!
- [Kenny] My dirty a*s kids
that you've been popping out
since you were 13 years old.
- sh*t.
(soft tense music)
- What?
(lock clicking)
(tense melodic music)
- Are you kidding me? f*ck
you, Todd, f*ck, f*ck!
f*ck you, f*ck you, m*therf*cker!
You are a sorry selling
sunset son of a b*tch,
you know that?
I'm the best man, I'm the,
oh, I'm the best man!
And you, you are the worst
man, I'm the first man.
You are f*cking full of
sh*t, Todd, f*ck you!
(door thudding)
The speech f*cking sucked
and you're a f*cking as*h*le!
That's what I wanted
to say to him, really?
I still might. What do you think?
It's Carl, call me back.
Ah, ah!
(gentle tense music)
(faucet water running)
(gentle tense music)
Oh, sh*t!
f*ck you, man.
Ah.
(background people chattering)
(soft tense music)
At least, it didn't ruin everything.
(soft tense music)
(tense dramatic music)
(footsteps thudding)
Hey.
Hey! Hey, what the f*ck?
Get back here!
(footsteps thudding)
(background people chattering)
(muffled pop music)
(soft tense music)
(brief ominous music)
(RV engine revving)
(soft tense music)
Hey, you still want some beer?
Coming right up!
Just tap the keg.
Golden Delicious. (laughing)
It's a Carl Classic.
Oh, what, you're not thirsty?
Not gonna ruin my night, no, no, no.
Not gonna ruin my night.
(Carl spitting)
Ah!
f*ck you, Todd.
f*ck you.
(soft melodic music)
There is a house in New Orleans
They call the Rising Sun
- And who the f*ck wears
a tuxedo to Joshua Tree?
(soft melodic music)
And it's been the ruin
of many a poor boy
(brief ominous music)
(Carl thudding)
And God, I know I'm one
(brief ominous music)
(Monica shrieking)
- [Monica] Oh, my God, what the f*ck?
(gentle eerie music)
(gentle eerie music continues)
(twig snapping)
(background people chattering)
(owl hooting)
(cicadas chirping)
- Hey.
Really?
Is everyone out here a f*cking weirdo?
(brief ominous music)
God, I hate the desert.
(brief ominous music)
Hey.
Hey!
(tense dramatic music)
(spade clanking)
I went back
To end my life
(soft ominous music)
(door thudding)
Down in the Rising Sun
(brief ominous music)
- f*ck!
(Carl breathing heavily)
(soft tense music)
f*ck this.
(gentle tense music)
- 911. What's your emergency?
- Hi, yeah, someone's
out there chasing me.
- [911 Operator] Okay, I'm here to help.
Are you currently in a safe place?
Are you able to explain what's happening?
- Yeah, I think so.
Listen, someone chased
me back to my, my house,
my, my, my rental, I'm in a
rental house in Joshua Tree.
- [911 Operator] Okay, are you hurt?
Do you need medical attention?
- No, no, I, I, I don't think so.
- Were you physically assaulted?
- Not yet.
They're they're still outside,
they're right outside.
- [911 Operator] Have they
tried to break inside?
- No, but they did
earlier, they did earlier
and it's probably the same
people, don't you think?
- Did you call 911 to report the break-in?
- No, I didn't, I chased
after them and then,
then I had to be
somewhere else, so I just-
- [911 Operator] So you were chasing them?
- Yes, but this is totally
different. Someone-
- Sir, have you had any alcohol
or recreational drugs tonight?
- Listen, lady, I'm serious, okay.
Someone is chasing after me
and they have some sort of weapon, okay,
like a f*cking ax or something.
- I'm sending a unit to your location.
- Okay, that's great, thank you.
How soon do you think they'll get here?
- [911 Operator] As soon as they can.
- Five, 10 minutes?
- In the meantime,
I want you to lock all
the doors and windows.
- So what, they just get
here when they get here?
- Sir, as you're probably aware,
Joshua Tree has become a very
popular tourist destination.
Now, I've notified the closest unit,
but right now, they're
engaged on another call.
- Look, there's someone
trying to m*rder me,
that f*cking caller with an ax!
- A unit will be with
you as soon as possible.
- No, no, no, no, wait!
(brief ominous music)
(lock rattling)
(tense dramatic music)
What do you want?
(lock rattling)
(tense dramatic music)
What?
sh*t.
(Carl breathing heavily)
(background people chattering)
(muffled pop music)
(gentle tense music)
(brief ominous music)
(gentle tense music)
(spade scraping)
- [Monica] Hi, this is Monica.
(gentle tense music)
(brief ominous music)
(shovel scraping)
(gentle tense music)
(door clicking)
(gentle tense music)
(door thudding)
(soft tense music)
(background people chattering)
(muffled pop music)
- Hey, kids.
Kid, you gotta get outta here, man.
(brief ominous music)
(Gus coughing)
f*ck!
(gentle tense music)
Are you okay?
Are you okay?
(Gus choking)
(tense dramatic music)
(tense dramatic music continues)
(brief ominous music)
Uh!
(Carl thudding)
(blood squelching)
(tense dramatic music)
(tense dramatic music continues)
(tense dramatic music continues)
(fist pounding)
(tense dramatic music)
- Dude, dude, this is so not cool.
- Brooklyn, please just open the door.
- After what just
happened, are you for real?
- Stop, there isn't time,
all right, someone is coming.
- Then go home and text!
(door clattering)
(tense dramatic music)
- Hey.
Hey.
Hey!
Okay, look, look, look, I
know how this is gonna sound,
I know what you're thinking,
but someone out there is trying to k*ll me
and they're coming here right now.
- That's not funny.
- Yeah, man, this is
seriously the worst way
to invite yourself to a party
where you are clearly not welcome.
- I'm not trying to cra,
I-I'm not trying to interrupt,
I'm not trying to ruin your party.
I don't give a f*ck about
your party, all right.
You're not listening to
me, I'm just trying to,
I'm trying to warn you.
- Carl, are you okay?
- Yeah, no, no, I'm not, no,
none of us are okay right now.
- But are you hurt?
- What?
- Did you harm yourself?
- No, no, no, no, this isn't
my blood, okay, it's okay.
(guests gasping fearfully)
No, it's not what you think, all right.
There were, there were
three people outside
and I-I found them on my way
over, they're all f*cking dead.
All right, they're dead and
look, someone is coming.
We need to get the f*ck outta here!
- Crazy f*ck.
- Is he crazy?
- It's always the boyfriend.
- Ugh, can you believe this guy?
First, he ruins my best man's speech.
Now he's ruining our whole after party.
Seriously, who the f*ck is this guy?
- He's the ex best man.
- The ex man?
- Are you on shrooms right now?
- Huh?
- I'm just saying,
we used to do that sh*t out
here, we'd take some shrooms-
- I'm not tripping.
- I'm just saying,
that's why we always
did it during the day.
- I'm not f*cking tripping, okay.
Why aren't you listening to me, man?
Look, tomorrow, you can all laugh at me,
you can chastise me,
you never have to f*cking
speak to me again.
But right now, you need to
listen to me, all right?
Your lives depend on it!
(gentle tense music)
- No.
You need to do something.
Leave, you need to leave.
- No, please.
- Yeah, man, it's time to go.
- [Monica] We can pretend
none of this ever happened,
not even what happened at the wedding.
- No.
- If you just leave now.
- Monica, look, I-I
swear to God, okay, look,
this, this guy, he
followed me home with an ax
and he k*lled these two people.
- k*lled, k*lled who?
- k*lled two kids
that followed me home in their car.
And, and this guy who broke into my house,
I called the cops, I called them, right,
but I don't know if they're
coming and I haven't-
- Stop!
It's too far, Carl, this
time, you've gone too far.
Look, I know that you're upset,
and I know you want to be
included, but you have to let go.
Let me go,
let my friends go.
- But they're my friends.
- You think that by causing another scene
and being the center of attention,
that we'll all remain in your orbit,
like planets around the sun.
But all you're really doing is burning us.
- Yeah, just like how he stole
my speech. What an as*h*le!
Who is this guy?
(Carl laughing)
- Wow, all this talk about empathy
or considering or holding
each other's feelings,
when in reality, all you do
is impose your will on everyone else,
because you're the self-centered ones.
Like Brooklyn, always
overcompensating for his white guilt
with his spontaneous street reparations.
And you, Dallas, talking about self-care,
so you can justify your selfies
from the Beverly Hills Spa.
You think you're all so
sensitive and inclusive,
but all you really care
about is yourselves,
yourselves and your f*cking hats.
Meanwhile, what, I-I'm just
supposed to take a hint
that-that I'm not wanted anymore?
I'm supposed to see pictures
of all of you hanging out
and having fun and drinking,
and just decipher that
I'm no longer invited?
I'm supposed to just
what, politely fade away?
(gentle tense music)
All because no one cares enough about me
to sh**t me straight, no one
gives a f*ck about my feelings.
No, no, no, that-that
confrontation would've been
way too painful and
uncomfortable for you and you.
Well, I can't do it, okay,
I can't keep it all
bottled up inside anymore.
And I-I'm sorry if I come off
as too aggressive or dysregulated.
I'm just, I'm doing the
best I can, all right.
I'm just speaking my
truth, that's the point.
That's the whole point, isn't it?
That's-that's the core of
your social crusade, isn't it?
(gentle tense music)
Isn't it?
- Holy sh*t! How many
speeches has this guy got?
No, I'm sorry, how many bad
speeches does this guy got?
- Carl, did you lose your job?
- How, why would you ask me that?
- Because you would lose your insurance.
- Oh, God, you think everything
is about f*cking medication, Monica.
- No, I think that not taking
a very important prescribed medication
can lead to serious problems.
- Yeah, big f*cking problems,
big problems like this one.
And this wouldn't be the first
time you're imagining things,
right, bud?
I mean, it's kind of the
reason why we had to cut ties,
especially after you went f*cking nuclear
at the engagement party.
Look, I'm sorry that
we had to let you fall,
but sometimes, people
have to hit rock bottom
and that's how they wake up.
Yeah, we did it because we care, man.
(gentle tense music)
(Carl laughing)
- That's good.
That's, God, Brooklyn,
that's really f*cking good.
That was great, man.
It's just, it's kind of ironic
that the two people
accusing me of hallucinating
are the same two people
that I accused at Brett and
Katie's engagement party.
- Oh, my God.
- And the best part,
the best part, I was right.
No, it's true, I was right.
I was right all along,
which means you two were
gaslighting me all along.
(laughing) It's too good.
I f*cking caught you!
Tonight.
- You're f*cking crazy, man.
- Oh, wow, wow, if I'm crazy,
then just stay with me for a second
and see if you can decipher this
with your magna summa c*m laude, bullshit,
f*cking education, all right.
If a train leaves Dallas at 9:40 p.m.,
going 65 miles an hour, (imitating train),
and another train heads to
Brooklyn at 45 miles an hour,
(Carl imitating train)
how long would it take
for Monica and Brooklyn
to start tongue kissing
in the f*cking guest bed?
We'll see if your scientific calculator
can figure that one out.
Or you could just stand outside the window
like I did an hour ago.
(guests gasping)
- Why, f*ck you!
- No, no, no, no!
- No, no, no, Dallas!
(all shouting)
- f*ck this!
- He's lying!
- I don't give a pterodactyl's tittie-
- Shut the f*ck up, Todd.
- No, you shut up, it's not
your time, it's Todd time now.
- All right, sorry. Go
ahead, finish your speech.
- I can't finish my speech,
it's the end of my speech.
There's gonna be music and dancing,
and I don't see any dancing.
- Your speech doesn't matter because it
was never meant to exist,
'cause I was the best man
before Monica and I broke up,
which means it was my speech to give.
So I f*cking gave it.
- What you gave was everybody the creeps.
- Well, let me put it this way,
does the devil like cookies?
- I don't know.
- Well, ask him when you see him.
(blow thudding)
- Uh!
- Hey, whoa!
(all shouting)
(both thudding)
Uh! f*ck you, Todd!
- I love you.
(all shouting)
(tense dramatic music)
f*ck, get off me!
- [Brooklyn] I couldn't
do this without you.
- That's not a f*cking answer.
(all shouting)
(tense dramatic music)
- Calm down!
(knuckles rapping)
Listen, that's probably the police, right.
Just give me a f*cking second.
- But you just called them.
- [Carl] Wait, just calm
down, I'll be right back.
Just wait a second.
(knuckles rapping)
(door clicking)
(soft tense music)
(blow thudding)
Uh!
(Carl thudding)
- My God!
(gentle tense music)
(Brooklyn groaning)
- Brooklyn.
(Brooklyn groaning)
Babe, Brooklyn.
- Brooklyn!
(blood squirting)
(all shrieking)
(Brooklyn thudding)
- Help me. (sobbing)
- [Todd] Todd's coming.
(soft ominous music)
(brief ominous music)
(flesh squelching)
(all shrieking)
(Todd thudding)
(Dallas screaming)
(tense dramatic music)
(guests shrieking)
(vase shattering)
(tense dramatic music)
(guests shrieking)
- Monica!
(tense dramatic music)
(guests shrieking)
Stay there, keep trying the
police. I'll protect you.
(soft tense music)
(blade scraping)
(blade thudding)
(Monica screaming)
Hold on, let me just check.
(soft tense music)
(blade thudding)
(soft tense music)
(blade thudding)
(flesh squelching)
Dallas, Dallas, it's me.
(flesh squelching)
(soft tense music)
(Dallas grunting)
(blade thudding)
(flesh squelching)
(Monica screaming)
(soft tense music)
(blade thudding)
(flesh squelching)
(soft tense music)
Monica, I'm gonna get you out of here.
I'll make up for everything, okay.
All my mistakes.
I'll protect you.
I love you.
Stay right here.
(gentle tense music)
Dallas.
Oh, my God!
(gentle tense music)
(gentle tense music continues)
(Carl breathing heavily)
(gentle tense music)
f*ck.
(Carl breathing heavily)
(gentle tense music)
(Carl breathing heavily)
(gentle tense music)
(Carl breathing heavily)
(gentle tense music)
(Carl breathing heavily)
(gentle tense music)
(Carl breathing heavily)
(gentle tense music)
Monica.
(blow thudding)
(Carl thudding)
(Monica gasping)
(gentle tense music)
- I am
so tired.
Exhausted.
- Katie.
- Yes.
- We have to stop by.
- I know, I just wish
we'd done this earlier.
- What did you want me to do?
They paid for the wedding, okay.
I couldn't just push them off into bed
and turn off the lights.
- I know, but Quidla on our wedding night,
you have to learn to deal with them.
- They are literally your parents!
- Don't yell at me!
- Okay, okay.
Look, I'll make this quick, one drink.
"Thanks for coming by.
See you at the breakfast buffet."
(Katie laughing)
What's so funny?
- Because you don't need another drink.
- Jesus Christ, Katie, what is your deal?
- What is your deal? Don't yell at me.
(sirens wailing in distance)
Oh, my God.
- f*ck!
What is this? It's not the house, is it?
- Your fricking college friends.
- Goddammit!
- Are you serious?
How stupid can they be?
- Call somebody.
- No, you call Brooklyn.
I'm not calling him, he's your friend.
- We're talking.
- No, no, no, we should just go.
Just leave them, leave them.
This is our bloody wedding night.
- I can't use this f*cking
phone. Gimme your phone.
- No, you, oh, my God,
useless, absolutely.
Here we go, there you go.
Call, your problem now.
- Jesus Christ.
- I can't stand any of this anymore.
- Wait, why is this not-
- Why did we even get
married in the desert?
I don't even know what we're doing here.
- What the f*ck's wrong with your phone?
There is a house in New Orleans
They call the Rising Sun
And it's been the ruin
of many a poor boy
And God, I know I'm one
- Anyway, I was here knocking on the door
and this guy opens the door
and this other guy just stabbed him!
- [Officer] I'm sorry, this
other guy, the assailant,
where did he come from?
- What do you mean? He
was already in there
and like nothing like
that ever happened before.
She sewed my new blue jeans
- And that was your boyfriend?
- No, no, he's my ex.
- Ex.
- He crashed the wedding
earlier and then he came here
because he said someone was after him
or after us.
It sounded crazy, but we didn't
know, so we were arguing.
- Okay, so then when did you call 911?
- It was right after,
no, no, it was before
he attacked Brooklyn.
And then everything just happened so fast,
he started attacking everyone. (sobbing)
He was k*lling them.
- Okay. Are you sure he was alone?
I mean, this is important
because if he wasn't,
then we should be out
looking for someone else.
(Monica sobbing)
- I...
- So you're saying he lied,
he lied about someone after him?
- It was just him.
- Your ex?
- Carl.
- Carl.
(wind blowing)
Oh, mother, tell your children
Not to do what I have done
Spend your whole lives
in sin and misery
In the House of the Rising Sun
There is a house in New Orleans
They call the Rising Sun
And it's been the ruin
of many a poor boy
And God, I know I'm one
(brief ominous music)
(sirens wailing in distance)
(cellphone ringing)
(mellow melodic music)
- Carl, Dr. Herman.
(door thudding)
I just listened to your latest,
um, message.
Look, I know I instructed you
to reschedule through my office,
but I'd like to see you
as soon as possible.
This sounds like a
prime opportunity for us
to go deeper into our work.
In fact, your sudden change
in character brought about
by this rush of forces and
emotions is quite astounding.
But remember that anger, hm,
can be a manifestation,
a powerful manifestation
of the shadow, right, we
have met the enemy, he is us.
Potential for eruption is always imminent,
imminent, Carl, being the key word.
Head on down to the
station, cut the ties
- And it's up to us to keep it that way,
so please call me back directly.
If I don't call you back,
call emergency services or
a crisis center, okay, Carl.
To sing Hallelujah
Hallelujah
(mellow melodic music)
I don't wanna die, I don't wanna
But I won't mind when it's my time
I ain't asking for a b*llet, man
I'm just breathing in the ocean wind
Not sure it makes a
difference much to me
I could float here for eternity
I don't wanna die, I don't wanna
But I won't mind when it's my time
To sing Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Sing hallelujah
Hallelujah
(mellow melodic music)
My time, my time
My time, my time
My time, my time
My time, my time
If I ain't gonna die, if I ain't gonna
Then each day is the afterlife
I've already died, I've already
And each day is another kiss
Death is swallowed up by victory
Oh, Death, where is your sting
I don't wanna die, but I've already
And I won't mind when it's my time
To sing Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Sing hallelujah
Hallelujah
(mellow melodic music)
(mellow melodic music continues)
(mellow melodic music continues)
(gentle eerie music)
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Disinvited, The (2024)
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