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Homewrecker (2025)

Comedy Movie Collection.
(Buddy/Dark/Black/Parody/Screwball/Slapstick/Sketch/Satire/Spoof/Mock/Comedians/etc.)

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Comedy Movie Collection.

Homewrecker (2025)

Post by bunniefuu »

[light music]

[contemplative music]

[Jen] Oh, is this it?

[Tom] Yeah.

[contemplative music continues]

He wouldn't stop honking.

[Tom sighs]

It's not great, is it?

I mean, he came at me

first, so maybe that'll help.

Tom.

What?

I'm just saying, you could

see how aggressive he was.

[doorbell rings]

You didn't have to hit him!

Honey, he got out of his car.

He was touching my

sh*t and getting in my face.

[Jen] I don't care,

you need to be able to control yourself.

[Tom bangs on the table]

This f*cking as*h*le.

[Jen] Maybe you can

try talking to him again.

[doorbell rings]

She has a key.

She's just being polite.

[Tom sighs]

-[footsteps clomp away]

[door squeaking open]

[Megan] Hi.

[Jen] Hi, sweetie.

[Megan] Look at you, looking

gorgeous as ever, Mother.

[Jen] Thanks.

-[Liam] Hi Jen, good to see you.

-[door clatters shut]

[Jen] How are you doing?

-[Liam] Good.

[Tom] Hey.

What up, Tom?

[Tom] I'm gonna make a call. [Sighs]

I won't be long.

Oh? Okay.

Well, I can pour us

some wine before dinner.

You're gonna drink with us?

I think I will.

Okay.

See the photo on the table over there?

Was I supposed to understand that?

[Liam whispers gibberish]

-[Megan giggling]

Oh, that's really helpful,

that you so much.

No, no, but...

Oh sh*t.

Oh my God, he really f*cked this guy up.

[Liam] Yeah.

[distant tapping]

Oh hey, Jen, here, I can help with that.

[Jen] Oh, thank you.

-Here.

-[Liam and Jen laughing]

There you go.

Oh, these chairs are so low.

Are these new?

Kinda, they were a wedding gift.

Cheers.

-Cheers.

-Cheers.

You know... we should do this more often.

[chuckles] Yeah, okay.

I mean, we live close enough.

There's no reason why we only have

to see each other once a month.

Yeah, for sure.

Um, I'm gonna get us the whole bottle.

This is not nearly

enough wine, I don't think.

Of course you are.

-[Megan] Stop.

-[Megan and Jen laughing]

And it would be nice to

see more of you, Liam.

I mean, if you can stand us.

[Liam] Oh, come on. [Unintelligible]

[Tom] Yes, I've seen the

tape. I've seen it take 10 times.

I'm asking you where we go from here.

[door clatters shut]

-[muffled muttering]

[Jen] Drag Megan with you.

[Liam speaks unintelligibly]

Hey, guess what?

What?

We got a letter in the mail,

and they are raising our rent by $200.

Oh my gosh! That's crazy.

-Ridiculous.

-I know. I know,

but the good news is that

last night we found a house

that we really love, and it's really nice.

Oh?

[Megan] And it's not wildly

expensive or anything,

so we're excited.

Hey, there's something

that I've been meaning

to talk to you about.

[Megan] What?

Uh, I'm gonna use the restroom.

So, this whole civil suit

thing is getting pretty messy,

and we're gonna end up paying some damages.

And then with the lawyer fees...

No.

-I know, I'm sorry.

-Oh my God.

[Jen] I'm sorry, but I just

can't go dropping six figures

on a house right now.

[Megan] Okay, so when?

When will you be able to?

I don't know, it depends

how long this thing takes.

But you know how these

things get dragged out.

[Megan scoffs]

I mean, I understand that

you wanna be the victim here,

but, but some people don't

even get this opportunity.

You told me that I could start looking.

[Jen] I know, and I mean, trust me...

I would love nothing

more than to get you set up

in a nice house.

It is very important to me,

but I just don't think it

can happen right now.

I mean, who knows?

Maybe you'll be able to

afford it on your own someday.

Not on a teacher's salary.

[Jen] Well...

Look, Mom, I love you and

I hear what you're saying,

but I don't understand why

you have to pay for his f*ck-ups.

Megan, we're married.

This is how this works.

[Megan] But you've got a prenup!

I thought the whole point was

to not let this guy leach off of you!

That is an entirely different thing.

[Tom] What's going on?

Well, look who it is. [Claps]

Great job, Tom, you f*cking neanderthal.

Megan!

-[Tom] Hey!

You don't talk to me like that.

[Megan] Oh? What are you gonna do?

Are you gonna beat me up?

Do you want another lawsuit?

Megan, I'm not kidding.

You watch your f*cking mouth.

Oh yeah, okay, dude.

[Jen] Could you just act

like a civilized human being?

Yeah, Tom, can you?

Can you act like a civilized

human being for once?

Megan!

Whatever, I'm leaving.

Let's go.

[tense music]

[car door clicks]

[Megan screams]

[tense energetic music]

Well sh*t. Guess the dream is dead.

[Megan] I just wanted to get out

of this tiny a*s apartment.

Yeah, I know.

God, he's such a d*uche.

Like she's seriously

gonna throw away all this money on him.

[Liam] So, is he like actually broke?

What's the deal?

[Megan] I mean, the man

hasn't written a book in years,

so I guess things are

getting a little tight for him.

[sighs] I'm gonna be honest with you.

Your mom does not have great taste in men.

[Megan] No, I know.

And remember when they

first started dating and I was like,

"Are you sure about this?"

And she's like, "You know

me, I'm an independent person.

He's just good company.

You know I'm not looking

to get tied down right now."

And then somehow he got

his f*cking hooks into her,

and she's acting like he's

gonna get his sh*t together.

But he's not, he's not even f*cking trying.

She just needs to divorce him.

It would solve everything.

You think she regrets marrying him?

[nuts crunching]

-[quirky music]

I'm sure she does, but

she'd never tell me that.

And honestly I don't even

think she could tell herself that.

'Cause, you know, it

would solve everything.

Them divorcing.

I know.

She could ditch this

loser, find a nice guy,

and we get a house. [Sighs]

It's a win-win.

Mm-hm. [Crunching continues]

[Megan spits]

-[Liam brushing]

Maybe she just needs a push.

Mm-hm, like what?

[Megan] Like hypothetically, if

she caught Tom cheating on her,

it'd be over.

Uh-huh.

[Megan] So, maybe there's a way

that we could make that happen somehow.

Sure. [Chuckles]

[Megan and Liam laugh]

Oh?

-Don't do it.

-[Megan] What if I?

-[Liam] No, I swear to God.

-Just a little.

-[Megan] Oh.

-No...!

[Liam sighs]

Every time.

[playful music]

How would it work?

Getting Tom to cheat?

Yeah.

Well, we would hire someone to seduce him,

and then they would secretly film it.

Video evidence.

Yeah, that's good, that's good.

It'd be done.

Easy. [Chuckles]

It actually kind of would be easy,

and the payoff would be...

you know.

Mm-hm.

So, are we actually gonna do this?

I mean... if you want to.

I think I want to.

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

Okay?

-Okay.

-[Both giggling]

But if we do this, I think

you should apologize to them.

Why?

Because I think it would be wise

for you to present yourself

as someone who's completely

uninterested in orchestrating

the end of their marriage.

[Megan groans in frustration]

I am sorry.

I don't wanna.

[Liam] You have to, you have to.

-No, I don't wanna.

-You have to.

Mom, I appreciate everything you do for me,

and I'm sorry I lashed out at you.

I had no right to do that.

You don't understand.

I'm literally gonna throw up

if I have to look at his

smug face and apologize.

Tom, I shouldn't have shouted at you.

I was just angry and I

didn't mean what I said.

So, I am sorry.

[Tom] Well, thank you.

I'm sorry I shouted at you.

[Megan] So, who should we get for this?

Uh, well, I mean, you could

hire like a, ya know, professional.

Yeah, but they need

to be deceptive and sh*t.

Like, this is a whole operation,

so we need to make sure we can trust them.

Okay, so you wanna ask someone we know?

[Megan] Yeah. I mean, I

don't think they actually need

to have sex with him.

I think that we talk to

someone we trust, and we say,

"Hey, here's a hundred bucks,

go make out with this guy."

Okay, that could work, yeah.

It would need to be

someone attractive though.

[Megan] For sure.

So, who's our hottest friend?

Uh...

This isn't a test.

No, I mean, everyone

pales in comparison to you,

of course, dear.

Okay, let's just throw out some names.

All right, ready? Three, two, one,

-Dominique.

-Ava?

-Did you say Ava?

-Who?

Dominique?

Dominique works, Dominique's great.

Yeah, I mean, they could both work.

Has Tom met either of them?

No.

Or your mom, actually, 'cause

she's gonna see the video.

-sh*t, yeah.

-Yeah.

I think I showed her a

photo of me and Dominique

at some point.

Okay.

[sniffs] So just... Ava then?

Yeah.

Yeah, they definitely don't know Ava,

and I think that she would be way more down

for this kind of thing anyway.

That's true. She's... She's wild.

Yeah.

It's just the things

that she posts are like,

she's out there.

-What?

-What things?

Just things I scroll past.

-Okay, well let's ask her.

-Okay.

[knocks on the door] -[birds chirping]

[Ava gasps] Oh my gosh.

-Hi.

-Hi.

Good to see you.

Good to see you, come on in.

Oh my goodness.

-Hi, Liam.

-[Liam] Hey, good to see you.

Come on in.

[door clattering]

[door latches] -[woman

screams in the distance]

[Ava] Oh, that's my roommate.

Just ignore her.

So, what's up?

[Megan] Well, we have

a proposition for you.

Oh sh*t.

Are we finally gonna do the threesome?

No, no, no.

Let's not rule anything out.

[Megan] Liam, stop. Um...

we have a big favor to ask of

you, but we can also pay you.

[Ava] Okay...?

So this is gonna sound weird,

but we are trying to get my

mom to leave my stepdad.

And so it would be very helpful for us

if you were to seduce him,

and secretly record yourself

making out with him. Yaknow,

maybe some light grinding,

whatever you're comfortable with.

Whoa, okay. Um...

and why do you want this?

Basically, if you do this,

my mom gets out of a bad marriage.

And she'll also be able

to help me buy a house.

Okay, do you have a picture of this guy?

Yes, I do.

Oh wait. He's actually kind of cute!

Sure.

[Ava] All right, I'm in.

Really?

Yeah, dude.

I get to live out my femme fatale fantasy

and you get a house?

Let's f*cking do it.

Let's f*cking do it.

Let's f*cking do it. [Chuckles]

[Ava] Oh, fun.

All right, cool.

[Megan] Okay, so Tom is a writer.

Mostly pulpy crime novels.

I tried reading one

once and it was terrible.

But somehow he's been moderately successful

up until his most recent

book, which bombed.

And that was five years ago,

and he hasn't written anything since.

So the point being, he is very

down in the dumps right now

and in desperate need of validation.

Now, he has a website

where you can reach out to him directly.

So that is what you'll do.

You'll pretend to be a fan of his.

You'll say you're an aspiring

writer who just moved to LA

and you would love to

grab a coffee with him.

[Liam] And we can give you the Cliffs notes

on a few of his books as well.

[Magan] Yes, but the most important thing

is that one of his books

was turned into a movie.

It's called "The Thrill of the Hunt."

And this is so stupid, but

basically there's a scene

where the main character

is wrestling a warthog,

and he breaks off one of the

tusks and uses that to k*ll it.

Yeah. So now, Tom got to keep the prop tusk

that they used in the movie,

and you will need to ask to see it.

And so then he'll bring you

back to the house to show you,

and that is where the seduction begins.

[upbeat music]

And my mom will be out at work,

so you don't need to worry

about getting caught or anything.

And I will keep watch by the house

in case she comes home

early for whatever reason.

Um, please, have a seat.

I'll just go grab it real quick.

Okay.

[Tom] There.

Wow.

So cool!

[Tom] Yeah, it was such a

crazy experience being on set

and watching it all happen.

And all the money they

spent to bring my words to life.

Wow, that must've been so surreal.

Here, I don't wanna drop it.

And that scene was so scary

when Martin was fighting the warthog.

-Uh, Marvin.

-What?

Marvin, you mean.

Yeah, yeah.

What did I say? Did I say "Martin"?

-Mm-hm.

-Oh. [Chuckles]

No, but it was just so stressful seeing

all of that on screen.

And then when he tore off

the tusk, it was just so gross...

but oddly kind of sexy.

[Tom laughs]

-[Ava] Yaknow?

Have you ever fought a wild animal?

Uh, no.

I bet you could.

So, how do you come up with your ideas?

I always have the hardest

time getting started.

Ah, you just have to, uh, pay attention

to the world around you and

something will come. You know?

I'm always observing, taking everything in.

You never know where

inspiration can come from.

So, um, what are you working on now?

Ah, well there is this one

idea I've been mulling over.

It's still just an idea,

but, uh, there's this detective

following the string of murders.

And it's revealed at the midpoint,

to the reader, not to the detective,

that the k*ller is actually his wife.

And then it turns into this whole dark,

sexy cat and mouse kind of thing.

And there would have

to be these subtle hints

to have the detective

suspect that it's her,

but he would never have

the confidence to call her.

Uh?

Uh, I don't think we should do this.

Oh, why, do you not find me attractive?

No, I do.

Certainly feels like you do.

Look, I think you're really hot.

[Ava] I think you're hot too.

But I'm married.

Okay...?

I think you should leave.

[tense music]

-[Ava] Are you sure?

Get off.

[tense music continues] -[door clicks]

[Megan] Did you get it?

I'm sorry. He wouldn't go for it.

Wait, really?

-[Ava] I tried, I did.

[Megan] What happened?

I took my shirt off, I

was rubbing up on him.

And then when I tried to kiss him,

he told me he was married

and then he said to leave.

f*ck.

What, he wants to be

Mr. Integrity all of a sudden?

I mean, what the f*ck?

-I'm sorry.

-[Megan] No, it's not you.

It's this g*dd*mn as*h*le.

I mean, at least he didn't

attack me or anything.

It could've gotten worse.

[Megan] Oh sh*t, yeah, you're okay?

He didn't, like, hurt you or anything?

-No.

-[Megan] Okay.

Thank you, Ava.

I really appreciate you.

We need to hang out soon

in a more normal context.

Yeah, for sure.

[tense music]

So, what are you gonna do now?

I don't know.

Figure out a plan B, I guess.

Well, okay, hear me out.

There's this guy at

work who's always talking

about deep fakes and

how good they're getting.

So, what if we made a

deep fake sex tape thing?

I don't know how to do that sh*t, do you?

No.

Because it would have

to be, like, fully convincing.

No one could suspect a thing.

Wait, you know the VFX dude Max?

I bet you he could do this.

Do you know him that well?

Sure. I mean...

we'd probably have to pay him,

but he likes me. I think

I could convince him.

[Megan] Okay, but how would that work?

Well, we would need to film

something real first. Like...

get a guy and a girl, and

then all we'd need to do

is just deep fake the dude's face.

[Megan] Do we actually

need to film a sex tape?

No, I think we could just get

two people bumping around

in their underwear, and then

make it dark and everything

so it's more convincing.

Okay.

Maybe we could get Ava for that too.

Sure. Yeah, see if she's down.

[Megan] And the guy... does it matter?

Well, it should be somebody

with a similar build, so...

I mean, you're pretty close.

He's definitely a

little bit taller than me.

[Megan] Yeah, but you guys would be in bed

so no one would be able to tell.

Okay, but that would mean

that I'd be basically dry humping Ava.

[Megan] Mm-hm.

So I'm gonna leave that up to you.

Mm.

Honestly, it's fine.

It'd be so much easier if it was you

and we didn't have to

rope anybody else into this.

Mm-hm...?

[Megan] It's not a big deal!

[Liam] Okay, as long as you remember

that it was your idea.

Okay, whatever.

-[Liam] Love you.

-Love you too.

[Liam strumming guitar]

You're so good, do it again.

[Liam plays the guitar]

-Do it again.

-[Liam plays the guitar]

-Oh my God.

-[Liam] Wow.

I didn't know you knew how to play.

[Liam] Neil Young.

[Megan laughs]

Maximus!

Hey, Liam.

[Liam] What's up, bro?

[Max] Not much, how you doing?

[Liam] Good to see you, dude.

Good to see you too.

-[Liam] Nice place, dude.

Thank you. It's been too long, man.

[Liam] Yeah man, how's it

going? It's been a minute.

[Max] Yeah, I was surprised you texted.

-How have you been?

-It's been good.

Yeah, how about you?

Work seems to be going well, yeah?

[Max] Yeah, it's been good.

I've been on some pretty

cool projects this year.

That's awesome, dude.

You're k*lling it, bro.

-Always k*lling it.

-[Max] Thanks, man.

Thank you.

And how's... Megan?

She's teaching, right?

[Liam] Mm-hm, yep, still teaching.

Well, not right now 'cause it's the summer,

but yeah, she's been teaching.

[Max] Elementary school, right?

Mm-hm, yeah.

So, can you even call

it teaching at that point?

Yeah? [Chuckles]

Well, of course, that's

a really important age.

Rught. No, I was just f*cking with you. Um.

But, uh, listen, man, I

wanted to talk with you

'cause I got a potential project for you.

Okay.

So, if I were to give you a video,

and it wouldn't be real, but

it'd be a pretend sex tape.

Would you be able to

deep fake somebody's face

onto the guy in the video?

Um...

-Yeah, I think so.

-Yeah?

Yeah, I've been fiddling around

-with some of that AI stuff.

-Okay.

It's actually pretty crazy

how good it's been getting.

Right, but this would need to be perfect.

So like, no one would even be suspicious

that it was deep faked, flawless.

-[Max] Oh.

-Now...

we can make the

video itself look like sh*t.

It can be dark, low quality,

whatever you gotta do.

So it can be sh*t, but like...

flawless sh*t.

Yep, got you. Uh.

Yeah, I think that could be possible.

[Liam] My guy, dude!

Hell yeah!

So, what's this for?

[sighs] Right, forgot to tell you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So this is a super top

secret project, okay.

You can't tell anybody about this.

Okay, wait, what is it?

We are trying to get Megan's

mom to divorce her stepdad.

Why?

Because he's shitty and he's

taking advantage of her mom.

So, you want me to make a deep fake of him?

[Liam] Yeah, of him cheating on her.

I think that's ill*gal.

No? Is it?

Well, it doesn't matter though,

because we're not gonna get caught.

Especially not you.

'Cause you don't have to sign anything.

Nothing's gonna get traced back to you.

And we'll pay you obviously in cash.

I don't care about the money, man.

I just, it feels kind of wrong.

Okay, listen. I, uh...

This guy is... He's a bad dude.

I don't want to get into

specifics, but he's violent.

-So...?

-Oh.

[Liam] We just kind of want

to get him out of the picture.

Please, Max, please.

Okay, fine.

[Liam] Thank you, bro.

Thank you, man.

Appreciate you.

-Of course.

-All right!

[Ava] So, what's up?

I have another favorite to ask you.

[giggles] Who do you

want me to f*ck this time?

Liam.

[Liam] Alright, so tell me,

what can I do to make your life easier?

Well, definitely film it in high quality

because I could down-res it later,

like we said, to hide any flaws.

Cool.

So for filming, do you guys have a guy yet?

Yeah, it's gonna be me.

Oh, don't worry, you're not gonna have

to see my family jewels.

Sure, okay, great. Um.

Yeah, just try not to move too much.

I know you're gonna

be doing a lot of things,

but don't go turning your head like crazy

or doing anything wild, all right.

Copy that.

Uh. And turn off all the lights,

except for like a table lamp or something.

That'll help me with VFX

and make my life a little bit easier.

Mm-hm.

Uh, what are you doing about audio?

I don't know.

Can it just be video?

No. What, dude?

No, you need audio.

You need this to be a

hundred percent convincing.

You can't half-a*s it.

Could you do a deep fake

of his voice or something?

Uh, I'm not as familiar

with the audio side of things,

but in order for that to work,

I think you'd need a lot

of clean takes of his voice

so that you could feed it into an AI

-and I'll make something.

-sh*t.

This guy doesn't have a podcast, does he?

No, he is unfortunately

one of the few people in LA

without a podcast.

Yeah, I don't know then.

Alright.

You know what, I'll figure that out, okay.

You just work your video magic.

-Alright.

-Alright, cool.

Sweet.

And remember, don't tell

anybody about this, okay?

No, don't worry.

I don't want anybody

knowing that I'm doing this.

[upbeat music fades]

Ava's down.

Sweet.

[Megan] We good with Max?

Yeah, but he can't do the audio, so...

[Megan] Oh, do we need it?

Yes, it's gonna make it

so much more believable.

Okay.

But I think I might have a solution.

What?

We could get some real audio

of Tom, you know, having sex.

With my mom?

Yeah, we just hide one of

those voice activated recorders

in the bedroom.

Yeah?

I don't know if I want

those sounds haunting me

for the rest of my life.

Don't worry, I can edit it myself, okay.

I'll just splice out some of his grunts

and throw 'em in the video.

Hmm?

[car engine rumbling]

[Liam] Okay, you good?

-[Megan] Yeah.

-Cool.

Hey, I was also thinking I

could grab one of his shirts,

like something recognizable

that you could wear in the video.

[Liam] Oh yeah, that's smart as hell.

Make it something long

sleeve so it'll hide more of me.

-Okay.

-Okay, cool.

-You got this.

-[Lips smacking]

[Jen] Okay, here we go.

[Megan] Thank you.

[Liam] Oh wow, it's beautiful.

Uh, is Tom not joining us?

[Jen] Uh, he's in a mood.

So Liam, how is work?

Have the hours gotten any better?

[Liam] Yeah, it's calming

down now, thank you.

Yeah, we've got a new guy on the team,

so the workload's been

a lot more manageable.

[Jen] Oh, that's good, yeah.

Yeah, I told him that he has

to start coming home earlier

so we can go to more concerts together.

-[Jen] Oh yes, of course.

-[distant plates rattling]

Oh, hi honey.

I... I thought you weren't hungry.

[Tom] Huh?

I thought you weren't hungry,

I would've fixed you plate.

[Tom] No, it's fine.

[Tom sniffs and sighs]

How's the writing going?

Uh yeah. Not good.

[Megan] Sorry to hear that.

My publisher's just been nagging at me,

and I swear she has the

shrillest voice I've ever heard.

I mean, it's just like, nya-nya-nya.

How long do you think you could go

without saying something sexist?

[Tom] Oh, come on.

No, but like if you actually tried?

I'm basically a feminist icon

for putting up with the

phone call I was just on.

[Megan] No, for sure.

It's like you, Malala...

[Jen] So Liam was saying that

they got a new person on the

team to help out at work.

Oh yeah?

Yep, yeah.

Should be done with

those 12 hour days now, so.

[Tom] That's good.

Yeah.

Should we bring this party to the pool?

[suspenseful music]

Alright, I think I'm gonna get out.

Yeah, I think that it's time.

[suspenseful music]

That wasn't very long.

[Megan] Yeah, I know.

It's just, uh... We're meeting

up with some friends later

for drinks, so we should

probably get going.

-[Liam] Yeah.

-[Megan] Um...

I'm gonna get changed.

Okay, sounds good.

[suspenseful music]

[suspenseful music continues]

[Tom speaks unintelligibly in the distance]

-[Tom] No, I understand.

-[door lightly latches]

Well, of course he won't.

What?

[refrigerator clatters]

-Give it a break.

Okay, so what can we do?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, I'm not gonna do that.

No, do me a favor, don't

tell me to f*cking calm down.

This guy's trying to ruin my life.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

[Tom speaks unintelligibly in the distance]

[suspenseful music continues]

[Megan] Hey, ready to go?

Yep, let's do it.

[Megan] Okay.

All right, it was nice to see you.

[Megan] Yeah! Um, Oh! I

was thinking I would love

to get some more swimming in.

Would it be okay if I would just come over

and use the pool for like an

hour or so during the week?

Well, you'll have to ask Tom.

He'll be the one around then.

Tom, is that cool?

Awesome, great. Okay. [Giggles]

Good to see you.

Hey, where are you going with this?

You're always trying to steal my towel.

[Megan] Mom, oh my God!

You're always so grabby.

-[Jen] Sorry.

-It's fine.

-Bye.

-[Jen] Bye.

Let's go.

See you, Jen.

-[Jen] Bye, Liam.

-Bye, Tom.

Do you think she saw it?

No, you're fine.

I couldn't even tell what it was.

[Megan] Okay.

[Liam] So, what was it? What'd you get?

[Megan laughs]

Oh, f*ck yeah.

Oh my God, holy sh*t.

[Megan] It's horrible.

[Liam chuckles] "Thrill of the hunt."

[Megan laughs]

So, everything's good

with the recorder then?

-Yeah, it's next to the bed.

-[Liam] Okay.

[Megan] Um, when should I go back for it?

Well, it depends.

How often do you think

they're doing the deed?

I don't f*cking know.

Alright, well let's just give it three days

and see if we get something.

Okay.

What if they don't have

sex by the time we get back?

Have you heard his voice?

That guy f*ck.

Ew.

-Hard.

-[Megan] Ew!

What the f*ck is wrong with you?

-[Liam] What?

-Do you think about that?

[Liam] No, guys just know.

What do you mean,

guy... based on their voice?

It's a... We're...

Will you just drive?

[music plays from Liam's earphones]

Hey, I'm gonna hit up Ava and...

What's up?

I'm gonna text Ava and

see if she's free tomorrow.

I figured we might as

well bang out the video

while we're waiting.

Oh, you want to " bang

out the video ", huh?

I knew you were gonna say that.

Actually, we should wait

until we get the audio though.

[Megan] Why?

'Cause it might inform

my Tom impersonation.

But then why'd I just steal his shirt?

[Liam] Well, we're still

gonna need the shirt.

Yeah, but I could have grabbed it

when I go back to get the recorder.

Now it's just more time

for him to notice it's missing.

Oh, I guess you're right.

[Megan] f*ck.

It's okay. It's fine. It's fine.

What, four days?

He's not gonna notice.

It would take me months to realize

one of my shirts was missing.

That's 'cause you're a mess.

I'm a hot mess though.

I don't think so.

-Rah.

-No.

-Rah.

-No.

-[Liam] Rah.

-No, no, not again!

No, no, no. [Laughs]

[chiming music]

[door squeaking]

-Hello.

-Hi.

-Hi.

-Clay Felden.

Hi.

-Nice to meet you.

-Nice to meet you.

-Yeah.

-Hi, nice to meet you.

Uh, could you sign in, please?

Yes, yes.

We have had our eye

on this house for a while.

We drive by it all the time.

Oh, that's wonderful, that makes two of us.

[Megan and Clay chuckle]

Um, sorry, I have to take this.

-Excuse me.

-Sure.

This is clay.

So nice.

Wow, it's so big.

Yeah, yeah.

Wow, natural light.

-Uh-huh.

-So beautiful.

Oh wow.

-[Liam] Storage.

-Oh my God.

This kitchen is so much

nicer than the one on Magnolia.

-[Liam] Totally.

-With the tile and everything?

[Liam] Totally agree.

[Megan] Oh, I love how

it opens out to the back.

[Liam] Yeah, it's really nice.

It's beautiful.

[shoes clomping]

[Liam] Oh-oh, competition.

Yeah, I have to scare her off.

-Yeah.

-[Megan giggles]

Hey, isn't this that house where

all those murders happened?

Stop it, shut up.

Do not.

It's a family of five, I think, right?

Ssh, stop.

Yeah, all of them just brutally

stop, brutally m*rder*d.

Stop, shut up. [Giggling]

You know what people actually do

when they want to claim a house?

What?

They sh*t in the toilet

and they don't flush.

-No, they don't.

-They do.

Yeah, they just leave

a big stinker in there

and then it ruins the experience

for anyone who comes after them.

Nobody does that.

No, people do that.

That is a legitimate tactic.

That's disgusting.

[Liam] Hey, don't hate the player.

[Megan] How do you even know about that?

-[Liam] I read about it.

-[Megan] Where?

[Liam] Online, there's forums.

[Megan] Oh my God.

-[Liam] Whoa.

-[Megan laughs]

[Megan] Look, it's incredible.

There's so much space!

Oh my God, it's amazing!

We'd be so happy here.

[Liam] I know, I know.

[birds chirping]

[Clay clears his throat]

[Megan laughing]

[Megan] This house is amazing.

[Clay] I know. It's a special one for sure.

[Liam] Yeah, I really like

how it has multiple rooms.

[chuckles] Well, as any

good home should have.

[all laugh]

Um, hey, just to let you

know, we did get an offer today.

Obviously nothing's been finalized yet,

-but just to let you know.

-[Liam] Sure.

Anyways, please take your

time, finish looking around.

[Liam] Thank you.

Sorry.

[Megan] Whatever, the timing was

never gonna work out anyway, so.

[pensive music]

-Hey.

-[Megan] Hey.

Um, I'm gonna go get changed.

Uh-huh.

[Tom] Megan, I'm gonna lay down for a bit,

so just do your thing.

[bedroom door rattling]

[bedroom door shuts] -[Tom sighing]

[recorder lightly rattling]

[Tom snores]

[snoring continues]

[door squeaks]

[door squeaks]

[Tom snores]

[suspenseful music] -[Tom snores]

[Tom] Hey Meg, I'm gonna go for a drive.

But your mom said she got off work early.

She should be back soon

if you wanted to wait for her.

-Okay.

-[Tom] Okay, have fun.

Of course, now he leaves.

f*cking as*h*le.

-[Jen] There you go.

-Thank you.

[Jen] So, how was he today?

I don't know. We didn't really talk.

Where'd he go?

[Jen] Oh, he just drives around.

He says it helps him think.

Does he ever tell you when he'll be back?

[Jen] No, he doesn't even know.

Doesn't that make you nervous?

He could be anywhere.

He's just driving. It's not a big deal.

I just don't understand

why you put up with him.

Yeah well, when it's good,

he's really, really good.

He's funny and charming.

Just that lately,

the bad days have been

more and more frequent.

[Megan] Yeah.

But things have been

really tough for him lately.

It's a really stressful time.

I just wanna make sure you're okay.

I'm fine.

What about you? Are you happy?

Am I happy, with what?

[Jen] Like...

overall, with everything.

[Megan chuckles]

Yeah, I guess.

[Jen] You and Liam are good?

Yep.

-[Jen] You like your job?

-Mm-hm.

[Jen] And, like, your life in general?

Yes.

Mom, I'm fine.

[Jen] You'd tell me if you weren't, right?

Yeah, I would.

I don't really know, man, but, um...

Yo, do you mind if I call you back.

Alright bro, talk you later, bye.

So...?

[Liam laughs]

Beautiful.

Alright, let's pray they

have an active sex life.

Okay. [Sniffs]

You good?

Mm-hm?

Okay.

Alright, let's see what we got here.

Okay.

Just talking.

More talking.

I think I wanna listen.

You sure?

Yeah.

Okay.

Here it is.

-[Tom] She doesn't like me.

-[Jen] Well you could try to act

a little warmer towards her.

[Tom] No, I know, I know.

There's been a lot of sh*t going on.

[Jen] I just wanna able

to have a nice dinner.

[Tom] No, I know, I know.

You're right, honey, I'm sorry.

[Tom moans]

Oh!

-[Tom] Oh God.

[Megan gasps]

-Oh, here we go.

[Tom] Oh.

[Tom moaning] Oh God, honey.

- Oh God, ah.

-Oh God, ah.

[both laughing]

[Tom] Come on.

[Jen and Tom moan]

[Megan and Liam laugh]

I told you he f*ck. I

told you this guy f*ck.

-This is terrible!

-Oh, f*ck.

Okay, wait, wait, wait.

We need to actually listen,

we need to actually listen.

-Okay.

-[Both laughing]

[Tom] Right there, yes.

[Jen moans]

My mom needs to shut up.

Yeah, we're just gonna

have to find little moments

where it's just Tom.

[Tom moans]

-There.

-Yeah.

-Yeah, that's good. Uh.

-Yeah.

Wait, we should be writing this down.

Okay, okay.

[Liam] Where is...?

Oh, bring the fruits snacks too.

Ow, what the f*ck?

Okay, what time was that?

Okay, that was 13:25.

13:25, okay.

[Tom moans]

Hmm, that's Tom, right?

[Liam] Yeah, I think so.

-Okay.

-[Liam] What's that?

That is 13:32.

[Tom moans]

[Tom] Oh, f*ck yeah, baby.

[Liam] Whoa.

[Megan laughs] My God!

[Liam] What is that?

That's 13:40.

13:40, Jesus.

[Megan and Liam laugh]

[Tom and Jen moan]

-Oh, great.

-[Liam] What?

Ava's roommate has a friend staying

with them for the week,

so sh**ting the video at

her place might not work.

[Liam] Okay.

Well, we could wait or we

try to find somewhere else.

Maybe we ask John if we could use

his place?

-[Megan] Wait, crazy idea.

My mom and Tom go out for

dinner dates on Friday nights.

We could sneak in and

film it in their bedroom

while they're gone.

Yeah!

-[Megan] Yeah.

-Yeah.

'Cause it's like, my mom

seeing it happening in her bed,

like it would hit that much harder.

You're a genius.

You're a mad genius.

[upbeat music]

-[lips smacking]

This is crazy.

This is insane.

Go back, I wanna hear it again.

"Oh, f*ck yeah, baby."

-Stop.

-What?

I need to embody it.

Here we go.

[Tom] Oh, f*ck yeah, baby.

Oh, it's horrible.

-Horrible.

-[Megan laughing]

[upbeat music]

Wait, let me in, I wanna play.

[upbeat music]

[upbeat music continues]

-sh*t, sorry.

-You're good.

Okay.

Oh, here, record on this too

so the audio will sound the same.

Thank you.

This is so dumb.

We didn't even need to steal his shirt.

I know, right?

[Megan giggles]

[Megan] Oh, wow.

I've never found you more

attractive than I do right now.

-That's f*cked up.

-[Megan] You know,

as soon as I heard myself

say it, I really wish I hadn't.

Okay, do you think these

are gonna work okay?

Yes, that's perfect.

Okay.

Okay, so you guys ready, feeling good?

Yeah, let's do this.

-Feeling good.

-[Megan] Okay, cool.

So, Ava, remember that

Liam is gonna be silent,

but you should be making noise.

So just do whatever feels natural.

Got it.

Uh, let me hear that line one more time.

Yes.

[Tom] Oh, f*ck yeah, baby.

Okay, cool.

And then the cl*max?

[Tom moans]

Okay, sick, I'm ready.

Cool. Um...

Get in your positions.

[Liam] Okay.

Alright, hello.

[Liam chuckles]

-Hi.

[Megan] Okay, you guys move just like.

-Oh? Like this?

-Oh?

[Megan] Yeah. Um...

Ava, could you just let your hair fall

in front of your face a little bit more?

Uh, and you guys can have this between you.

[pillow clattering]

You're not gonna see it?

-Nope.

-[Liam] You sure?

Yep.

Okay.

Ava, I'm just gonna do some

practice thrusts then, okay?

Yep, mm-hm.

How's that, yeah?

-Yeah, it's good.

-Okay.

[Megan] You guys ready?

-[Both] Yep.

-[Megan] Great.

-[Camera beeps]

Okay, three, two...

Oh, is the audio going?

[Megan] No. Thank you.

And lemme just do a clap for sync.

[claps] That's a thing, I think.

[Megan] Okay.

Three, two, one, action.

[Ava moans]

[Ava] Oh my God.

[Ava moans]

[Liam spanks Ava]

[Ava moans louder]

[ominous music]

[Liam] Megan?

Megan.

-I think we can cut.

-Yeah.

-Oh.

-[Ava] I mean, you came, right?

Oh yeah, big time.

I mean, was it good for you?

-Oh, absolutely.

-[Liam chuckles]

Oh my God.

What? What?

Come on, I can't control this.

Clearly.

[Liam] Um, I was grinding against a pillow.

What do you want from me?

Oh, I'm glad you enjoyed yourself.

[Liam] Oh my God.

I'm sorry, okay?

Ava, um, I'm sorry.

It's not a problem, it's okay.

Yeah, whatever. I don't care.

It's not like I actually came.

[Liam sighs]

Megan, what's the problem?

Nothing.

[Liam] Hey, you said

you were okay with this.

I thought I was.

It is fake; It meant nothing.

Hey, this was your idea, remember?

You told me to do this.

I didn't tell you to slap her on the a*s.

I was... I was in the moment.

I'm...

You were a little too

in the moment. [Sniffs]

Alright, okay. I...

I shouldn't have done that.

I got a little carried away, I'm sorry.

But that was just an acting thing, okay?

I'm not secretly fantasizing about Ava.

Hey, hey...

you're the only one for me.

You know that, right?

Yeah.

I love you.

I love you too.

How was the video though?

Do you think it works?

Yeah, it looked good.

Yeah, okay, great.

It also pissed me off.

Okay, it's done, it's over.

Let's get out of here.

Come on.

I'm gonna miss that shirt.

[Ava chuckling]

Oh, you closed the bedroom door, right?

Yes, yes.

[Ava] Okay, I just wanna

make sure. Are you okay?

-[Megan] Yes, no.

-[Ava] I'm so sorry.

-[Megan] Okay.

-[Ava] Are you okay?

No, I'm sorry.

[Megan] Yeah, I just, you

have nothing to worry about.

[car engine revs]

[Liam] Megan! Go

inside, go inside, go inside!

[Megan] sh*t, sh*t.

[Liam] They're here, they're here.

[Megan] What the f*ck.

Go out the back. Um.

[Ava] Okay.

[tense music]

[Megan] Go, go.

[tense music]

Wait guys, I have no idea

where the f*ck I'm going.

[Megan] Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.

What did you see?

[Liam] Follow me.

Come, come.

Okay.

[tense music continues]

[Ava] You see 'em?

-[Megan] Stop.

[Ava sniggers]

-What?

-Nothing.

[Ava chuckles]

Are you high?

No, it's just, you're like, it's funny.

Shh.

[Jen giggles in the

distance] -[car door shuts]

[garage door whirring]

Go, go, go.

[Ava] Woo.

[Liam and Ava laugh]

-[Megan] Max!

-Hey, come on in.

[Megan] Hi, thank you.

Oh, where's Liam?

Uh, he's working,

but he'll be able to

come over later tonight.

Oh, okay.

Thank you so much for doing this.

[Max] Yeah, sure. Um...

did you want a drink or anything?

No, I'm good, dude. I wanna

get started. I'm pumped!

Let's see what you can do!

[Max] Alright.

Did you get the photos I sent over?

Yeah, we should be good to go.

-Great.

-[Mouse clicking]

[bright music]

[bright music continues]

-Hey, what's up, dude.

-[Max] Hey, good, man.

Yeah, good to see you again.

All right, so how's it going?

Oh? I think it's done?

Wait, really?

Yeah. We haven't done

anything with the audio yet,

but the video is looking really good.

Okay, let me see.

[Ava moans]

[Megan, Max and Liam laugh]

What is this?

What are you talking about? It's the video!

I worked really hard on this.

Oh no, I can tell.

No, it's great.

It's... It's flawless.

[Megan and Max laugh]

We should send it.

[Max] Alright, alright.

Here we go.

[Ava moans]

f*ck yeah, dude.

Good job.

[Max] Thanks, man.

Now, we just need the audio.

Okay, I wanna see if

I got the orgasm right.

[Max] Okay, where's that?

That's 21:44 to 21:50.

Okay, lemme just

triangulate this to the end here.

[Liam] Okay, here we go.

[Megan] I bet you didn't time it right.

[Liam] Shut up.

[Ava and Tom moan]

[Liam] Oh sh*t.

[Max] Hold on, that's just me, that's me.

[mouse clicking]

[Ava and Tom moan]

Let's f*cking go, dude!

That's what I'm talking about!

You see that sh*t?

That's why they pay me the big bucks, baby.

'Cause I'm a g*dd*mn professional.

Woo!

[Max laughs]

Trained for that sh*t.

I rehearsed it.

It's all on there.

[Megan] Oh my God!

We're actually gonna get this house now!

Thank you so, so much.

What, what house?

Ah.

Oh, we're just hoping to

get a house sometime soon,

but who knows?

Wishful thinking, right? [Liam chuckles]

What's going on?

With what?

What's with the house?

What do you mean?

Okay, tell me the truth.

Oh, come on, dude.

[Max] No, explain it to me,

or you're not getting the video.

Explain what?

Why did we just make this?

What's this all about?

[Megan] Okay, okay, look.

This guy is an as*h*le,

and my mom is gonna be

way better off without him.

[Max] Okay yeah, what's with the house?

But... there is an aspect to this

where if my mom leaves him,

then she will be able to buy us a house.

I thought this guy was

beating you and your mom.

So, this is all just for some house?

[Megan] And to help my mom.

No, you're not helping your mom.

Are you insane?

This is f*cking psychotic.

Hey!

-[Liam] Yo, just.

Oh, ah, ow, ow.

Liam, chill, Liam.

Okay.

I'm good.

You good, Max?

This is f*cked up.

-[Liam] Just relax, dude. Here.

-[dollars flapping]

Here's your money, okay?

-I don't want it.

-[Liam] Just take the money.

No.

All right, fine.

Let's go.

[shoes clomping]

[door shuts]

[Megan] Did you make it

sound like Tom was beating me?

[Liam] Maybe a little bit.

[Megan] Jesus, you could

have at least filled me in.

[Liam] Yeah, my bad.

[Megan chuckles]

[doorbell rings]

-Hi, come in, come in.

-[Megan] Hey.

[Jen] We're still cooking,

but it's almost ready.

Okay, sounds good.

Hey, how's it going?

-[Megan] Good.

-Good.

[Jen] Looking good.

Oh yeah, smelling good too.

Hey, you know what?

I'm actually, I'm gonna go

to the bathroom really quick.

I'll be right back.

Okay.

I think flip that one there.

[Tom] Honey?

-[Jen] What?

[Tom] Where's the faith? Where's the trust?

[Jen] In the fridge?

[Tom and Jen laugh]

[Tom] Alright.

[Jen] Is this, should I stir this?

[Tom] Honey, you can do whatever you want.

You're in charge.

This is your world,

you just allow me into it.

[Jen] Mmh, ooh.

[Tom] Easy, easy.

-[Jen] It smells so good.

-[Tom] Oh, I know.

[Jen] You smell so good.

[Tom] Oh, you trying

to get freaky right now.

[Tom] Hey, where you going?

[Jen] Nowhere.

[Tom] The chef needs his assistant.

[Jen] Okay.

[Tom] I'm gonna stir

this just few more times,

then we should be ready to rock.

[pans clattering]

-Plenty for everyone.

[Jen] You think so?

-[Tom] I know so.

[Jen] Do you think it's enough?

So, where's Liam?

He's got a friend's birthday.

Could you grab me the black pepper?

[Jen] Mm-hm. You didn't wanna go with him?

No, it's fine.

I figured I'd let him have

his boys night. You know.

Aw.

[Tom] Honey, this is chili powder.

[Jen] Oh no.

I mean, we could use that if you want to.

[Jen] No, no, no.

That's okay, I don't

want a repeat of the stew.

[Tom and Jen laugh]

Thank you.

Oh my God.

We made this goulash last week.

And I must have grabbed for the cayenne

instead of the paprika. [Chuckles]

Oh boy.

It turned out really spicy.

I thought it was really good.

I mean, you keep acting

doing like it was a disaster

-or something.

-No, no.

It was... It was good, it was good.

You made it better.

[Jen] Oh, well, I don't know about that.

Well, I do. If you ask me,

I think you should disassociate

in the kitchen more often.

[Jen] You do, really?

Oh God, yeah. Come on.

It was like the cooking gods

were speaking through you.

[Jen] Oh, no, no.

The cooking gods haven't

spoken to me in a long time.

[Tom] Oh, come on.

[Jen] No, seriously.

You better keep an eye on me

or I'm gonna poison the two of us.

[Tom] Hey, I got no problem

keeping an eye on you, baby.

[Tom and Jen laugh]

[Jen] Oh, I'm just so

glad you're here, honey.

I love you.

I love you too.

[plates clattering]

-[Jen giggles]

Hello, is this Jennifer?

I just wanted to let you know

that your husband is an as*h*le.

Don't worry about me, but

your husband is a lying a*s b*tch

who won't pay for my ab*rtion,

so I just thought you should know that.

No, I'm being very serious.

Honey, honey, if you don't believe me,

why don't you just check his computer?

[Megan] So, do you

think she'll check it out?

[Ava and Tom moaning]

[Tom voice] Oh, f*ck yeah, baby.

[Ava moans]

[Ava] Oh yeah.

[Tom] Come on, baby.

[Ava and Tom moan]

[Liam spanks Ava]

[Ava moans]

[glasses clinking]

[Tom groaning]

Hey honey, how was work?

Good.

[Tom] Good.

[Tom groans]

[Tom sniffs]

Some woman called me today.

Okay?

She said that you weren't

going to pay for her ab*rtion.

[Tom laughs] What?

[Jen] Yeah, it was really strange.

Well, who was it?

I don't know, just some woman.

She sounded pretty angry.

[Tom] Nah, it's probably just

some dumb kid f*cking around.

Maybe.

Well, it's obviously a prank. [Chuckles]

Jen, I've never cheated on you.

Oh, really?

What's going on?

Are you actually gonna believe

what some random b*tch said on the phone?

She's probably called 10 other people

today with the same story.

Don't f*cking lie to me.

I'm not lying to you!

[Jen] I saw the video.

What video? What are you talking about?

[Jen] Wow, really?

Jen, I have no clue

what you're talking about!

What? What is this?

[Ava moans]

[Tom voice] Oh, f*ck yeah, baby.

What the f*ck?

[Jen] Yeah.

What is this?

Where did you find this?

On your computer.

Jen, I don't know what this is.

I didn't do this, this is fake.

[Jen] Oh my God, you're unbelievable.

[Tom] Seriously, I don't

know what's going on,

but that video is not real.

Do you really think that I am this stupid?

It's not me.

I didn't f*cking do this!

[tableware clattering]

It's not me!

Get out.

Jen, come on.

[Jen] Get out of my house now.

I'm sorry.

[Jen cries]

[upbeat music]

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[crickets chirping]

[Tom knocks on the door]

What are you doing here?

Did you do it?

Do what?

"Do what"?

What, the lawsuit wasn't enough,

you had to ruin my marriage too?

Look man, I'm gonna call the cops

if you don't get the f*ck out of here.

[Tom] No, no, no, you

don't need to call the cops.

You don't need to call the cops.

Just tell me how you did it.

Just tell me how you did it, man, come on.

-Just get outta here, man.

-[Tom] I said tell me.

Come on, man...

-Just get outta here.

[Police Officer] So now,

I'm supposed to be become

cutting back on red meat,

which I knew they were gonna tell me.

[Police Officer] Is it for cholesterol?

[Police Officer] Yeah, but I feel fine.

[Dispatch] Attention all units.

We have a noise complaint

at 2743 Willow Drive.

Possible domestic disturbance.

Code two, identify.

[Police Officer] Eight, Adam

14, we're nearby en route.

[tires screech]

[car engine revs]

But yeah, now I gotta watch out for that.

[Police Officer] Ah, it's not too bad.

I hardly ever eat red meat.

-[Police Officer] Really?

-[Police Officer] No.

Every once in a while

at a party or something.

[Police Officer] You're young though.

You gotta enjoy it while you can, man.

[Police Officer] Yeah. Well, Danielle's

pretty conscious about that stuff too, so.

[Police Officer] So, you

do whatever she tells you.

[Police Officer] No, I

mean, it's fine with me.

So yeah, I just go along with it.

[Police Officer] All right, man.

Okay, it's coming up.

[seat belts unbuckle]

[shifter knob wobbles]

-[car doors open]

[car doors close]

[Police Officer] sh*t!

Sir, can you hear me?

Tell me what happened?

[Police Officer] Hey, LAPD!

Stop!

Stop or I'll sh**t!

Put your f*cking hands up.

[g*n blasts]

[ringing music]

[Liam] What's the first

thing you'd wanna buy?

Anything, anything at all?

[bright music]

A drum set.

Okay, and where's that gonna go?

In your office.

Oh, alright.

Well, it better be a big office then.

It will be, yeah.

I mean, it won't be as big as mine,

but it'll still be pretty big.

Well, it's gonna go

in your big office then.

[Megan giggling] And teaching supplies.

Okay.

Maybe a big brand new desk.

And we could make it like

a home gym kind of thing.

Hey, yeah, we could get a treadmill.

Or an elliptical.

Or we could get one of those

all in one weight machine things.

What is that?

You know the things

where you can get do these,

and you can also do those.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

And I can finally get ripped.

Yeah, or we could get real furniture,

like an actual dining table.

Interesting, you wanna

be all practical now.

I'm just saying.

You can eat off your drum set.

[Megan laughs]

[bright music]

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