01x07 - Happy Animals

[bunniefuu]

I don't know

if it's gonna go with my outfit.

It is, I love it.

- Bells, this is you!

- Woo!

- Look at that green one.

- I'm gonna buy that right now.

My enemies

will be green with envy.

Girls.

- Yo.

- Whose birthday is it?

- Uh, it's Where is she?

- Our friend over there.

It's my birthday!

Hey!

Tell you what, I'll throw in

an extra item for free, guys.

- Are you serious, mate?

- Yeah, mate. No worries.

Chaps and cheese!

You got nuts?

Don't tell me you've sold out

We don't even need

We need more cheese.

Being a woman

is the f*cking worst.

That'll be 71.98 please.

Do you wanna try again?

It's declined.

Can I get a selfie please?

Yeah.

Yeah, you're gonna have to

remove all your items

off my conveyor belt,

and put them back in the aisles.

"Prior to being r*ped,

I never took much notice

of being a woman;

I was busy being black and poor.

Daring to observe the hazard

my gender may pose

to my freedom and survival

feels like a betrayal

to the council flat

I was born and raised in,

where hardship

was no respecter of genitals,

and a little brother

was as starved of food

and love as his sister.

When I think about

the Met Police Force,

and the chronic racism

that cripples it,

the fact that I opened my mouth

to tell them someone

did a little r*pe in there,

feels felonious in itself.

The Bible says,

'You cannot serve two masters.'

Am I too late to serve

this tribe called women?

Do I actually understand

what it is to be

a woman struggling?

A little r*pe in the mouth

is a walk in the park

when other girls are currently

being stoned to death

for having mobile phones,

are bleeding to death

after genital mutilation,

are looking at a womb

irreparably destroyed

by militias systematically

raping them

during times

of civil conflict and w*r.

Are these facts

a humbling reminder

not to be so loud

about my experiences,

or are they a reminder to shout?

Can my shout

help their silent screams?

Is it time to serve a new tribe?

I hope one day to know."

I'm thinking more.

You know, I'm trying.

It's okay. You know,

that was that was fantastic.

Wow.

The thing is, um,

we have a contract,

and we we have to honor,

um, that contract.

Uh, so this is great, but, um

you, um

You need to finish the draft.

Where Where is the money?

With Henny House.

With Henny House, with Susy?

Thank you so much

for agreeing to see me.

Of course,

I'm gonna let you

through and up,

all the f*cking way up.

Love the hair by the way.

Oh, thank you.

Have a pomegranate.

How's it going in the kitchen?

Is it in the oven? Measuring?

Marinating? When are we serving?

Mm. Well, I I started,

um, doing what you said.

Which was?

I'm starting to write

about my experiences.

- r*pe.

- Mm-hmm.

Fantastic.

Huh? Just different,

it's different to my usual.

I'd love you to meet

some other writers I look after.

Would you like that?

Yes, I would.

Um, I also wondered if, um,

an earlier transfer of fees

was something that was possible?

You haven't been paid?

Oh, dear, you should've received

a quarter upon agreement,

- that's contractual.

- Oh, no, no, I got that.

Yeah. But that was like

a year ago,

and 'cause

the content has changed,

it's taking a bit longer

to finish a draft,

so I just wondered

if I could have

some of the fees in advance.

You've probably signed

a contract. Hmm?

That makes things tricky,

contracts.

They're a little like things

we've agreed.

Mate, you don't even need

to know what you're saying.

Just read the script

and pocket the cash.

All right?

No, no, no.

Mate, you can't have

a party without treats.

- No, but this is from

- Yeah, I know.

Every time I bring

someone in here,

I get a referral fee,

so I'm all right for a while.

Just give it back to me

when I need it.

Hello, this is Happy Animals,

- we're a vegan grocery

delivery service.

- You got a minute?

Yeah!

Um, yeah, your

details were on our database

Yeah, come on over.

Hey, I'm Dan, CEO.

Oh, wicked, yeah,

nice to meet you,

thanks for, yeah, bringing

Do you know, uh,

much about Happy Animals or

- No, no.

- Right.

Let me just fill you in.

It's a bit dull but, uh

I basically spent

three years in uni,

uh, just going deep

into the existential threat

of climate change.

So, you know, animal agriculture

and eating meat

are the biggest threat

to global warming,

so I created, uh, Happy Animals.

Yeah, so people

who want to buy vegan products

and know what's out there,

know what they can buy.

Wow. So it's kinda like Amazon?

Uh, yeah. But kind of ethical.

Okay, okay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, I wondered

if you would be interested

in, uh, influencing instead.

- Oh, like, uh, Instagram?

- Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Double pay,

I mean, I pay cash

up front as well.

- Sure, yeah sure.

- Great.

No, yeah. That sounds great.

Fantastic.

Emily, can we, um, get

So, yeah. I thought

maybe we could start

with a photo of you

in the Happy Animals

t-shirt and bag?

Would that be good?

Yeah, yeah. Can I

Can I see what it looks like?

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Perfect. Okay.

Yeah. That is lush.

Um, would you mind if we do,

like, a quick ten-second video?

Yes. Yup, definitely.

- Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Just the phone script.

Hi, this is Arabella

from Happy Animals.

The climate crisis is real,

we're here to make a change.

- Great.

- Cool.

And would you mind doing,

like, a few more?

- Yeah.

- Yeah? Great. Okay.

The thing I'll miss

most after the complete

ecological collapse are crops.

Because crops bring us

yummy vegetables!

A bit more playful.

I love it.

Indonesia has to move

their capital city

because the current one

is literally sinking.

-Twenty percent off!

Click the link.

-Get your products now.

You know where to go.

Maybe a live-stream tomorrow?

- Great! Uh, cash?

- Yeah.

Yeah, when you clock

out we'll sort that out.

Great.

She's stopped by the way.

Smoking.

Cigarettes and weed.

That's good.

I bought her a vape, it helped.

Less toxins in her system.

- Not sure about that.

- What?

New research, innit?

Vapes looking more toxic

than they thought.

It's better than smoking.

It smells better

for non-smokers. Yeah.

What are you up to today then?

Well, as you can see,

I'm at work right now, T.

On my break.

Did I see you this morning?

What?

In the supermarket?

No.

It's my birthday.

- I know.

- Thanks.

Arabella is hosting

a party for me tonight.

I'm sure you saw the event

circulating on Facebook.

So you wanted to check

that I wasn't gonna turn up

with the champs?

It's just self-care

guidelines say

It's better for her

that I stay away.

I'm not gonna forget, Terry.

You don't have to keep

turning up at my workplace,

hounding me down to check.

Sorry.

"Self-care."

Yup.

Self-care is important

in the first two stages.

The only thing

more important is

to avoid friends

who don't affirm or comfort.

Right.

This, um, self-care,

who's it for?

Arabella.

And the guideline says

to avoid me?

Yes.

Because I left her.

Ultimately, yes.

So, it doesn't matter that I got

your approval to leave her?

"Yo, Terry, Arabella's twisted,

and I really need to go and bang

my mistress, what do I do?"

I can't verify

those are my words;

I was under the influence

of tequila and class A drugs.

You put me

in a difficult position.

I wasn't there,

I didn't know what to say.

So instead of just saying,

"I don't know,"

you say, "Just leave her,

- this is what she does."

- That is not how I said it.

That's exactly what you said,

and you were sober

when you said it.

And then, you forced me

to lie to her the next day.

What does the past have to do

with Arabella's

- current recovery

- I'm just trying to assess

- I'm trying to do, now?

- Which one of us

- she should be avoiding.

- I'm taking her to yoga,

dance class, meditation,

painting, steam room,

I listen to her talk,

I make her feel good.

No one else is doing

these things. I'm helping.

Well, you get back to that,

and I'm gonna resume my break.

Oh, wait.

You finished that again.

Hey, it's the birthday b*tch!

- Hi.

- There she is.

Hey!

- Happy birthday, my dear.

- Pastor Samson.

Hmm. You are looking spicy.

Thank you. Thank you.

What are you saying, Kwarms?

What you saying, bro?

- That's my boy Jamal still.

- Hi, Jamal.

Yo, I didn't catch

your name, bro.

- My name?

- Hmm.

It's Kwame.

Yeah, this one is Kwame.

And I'm a friend

of the birthday girl.

- And this one here is my yard.

- Hmm.

Yours? Okay. Well, thank you

for letting us gatecrash.

Oh, you're very welcome.

Anyway, I'm Jamal.

Jamal.

Jamal.

This, uh, name,

this look, it's really intense.

- Are you Egyptian?

- Half.

Oh! Mmm. And also?

- Ecuador.

- Ecuador!

Yeah, I know, right?

Wow!

- Egyptuadorian.

- Come on!

All right.

Maybe I'll catch you next door

later on, yeah?

Yeah, maybe.

Hmm. So, um

Isn't he, uh, hmm,

- your type?

- Okay, okay. It's okay.

Oh, yeah. Go and serve.

I do have

a thing for Egyptians still.

Why?

See, my firsts were Greek

and Egyptian.

Firsts, plural? How's that then?

I lost my virginity

to two guys at the same time.

Yeah. When I was walking

home from school,

and these two guys

pulled up in a car.

So I went in the car.

And, yo, I was really nervous

'cause there was barely

a word spoken.

And I didn't catch their names,

they didn't ask for mine,

but one said they were Greek

and the other said Egyptian.

Wow, babe.

Yeah. It's kind of dark.

I'm on a break now,

innit.

Shut up.

Queen bish!

Speech, speech,

speech, speech.

All right,

all right, guys.

If you're familiar with the term

"O'kinch," say "O'kinch."

O'kinch.

Sometimes you gotta look

at life and say what?

O'kinch.

It's my birthday, I'm cute.

And I never thought

I'd make it through.

I've had four auditions

in five months.

I have crumbled

and chickened out

of going into the room

every single time,

but when you look in that mirror

and every day you're buff

- Yeah.

- What can you say but

O'kinch.

It was a close shave today,

the finances tried to test us.

But God came through.

- Yes.

- He did!

Anyway, Bella

- thank you for the yard.

- Of course.

You do so much,

- I'm so proud of you.

- What are you talking about?

T, you're my best friend.

I'll give you

my f*cking organs, G.

- I love you.

- I love you too.

I love you more.

I love you more than anything

in this world.

I love you

more than I love myself.

T, come on.

You know your death

- is my death.

- Is my death.

- Your birth is my birth.

- Your birth

is my f*cking birth, G.

It's your birthday.

It's your birthday. I love you!

Yo, say cheese.

- Cheese.

- Cheese.

Okay.

Did you just hide your chicken?

- What?

- I cannot.

- It's off brand.

- Whose brand?

How long are you doing this?

I'm back there tomorrow.

Where are you working?

Oh, Arabella is the face of

Happy Animals.

- Oh. Happy Animals?

- T!

Vegan tings, climate tings.

"The ice caps are melting."

Wow, you have now become

a climateer?

Pastor, for the money.

- All right?

- Let's watch this, take a look.

- Oh, no.

- Here we go.

The surface of the ice sheets

are getting darker

and less reflective of the sun

which places the icecaps

in the grip

of what's called

a feedback loop,

which is contributing

to the acceleration

of the melting icecaps

and fueling sea level rises.

Wow. Wonderful!

Don't knock the hustle.

- Only yesterday

- What?

A climateer

came knocking on my door,

saying now is the time

to change my car

to an electric something,

something, something.

I just bought a new Mercedes,

I worked hard to get it,

and you're standing at my door,

telling me to what?

Throw away my car! Huh?

And what next?

Exchange my cow for a carrot.

Why must the white man

chop at the neck

when the Africans only now

beginning to swallow, huh?

They say because

there's dairy inside.

I am tired of white people.

Yeah, me too.

Oh, sh*t. Theo, mate!

- Yes!

- What you saying?

Are you all right?

Someone needs to tell her

that black women don't do coke.

And apart from Arabella,

we don't get r*ped,

so she's not gonna find

no business here.

- Who?

- Uh, Theodora?

Because what else

would she be doing at a party,

apart from selling class-A

and trying to find

new r*pe victims

to put some dollar

into her little donation pot?

Uh, she could be celebrating.

Celebrating what?

Her life is about as celebratory

as a true-crime

documentary on Netflix.

I I I'm gonna go toilet,

yeah?

Oh, sh*t.

Come on, Egyptuador! Love that

Hey!

Yes, mate! Hey!

You having a good night?

You having a good night?

- Yeah.

- Yeah?

You?

Yeah, man, can't complain.

Oh, it's boiling in there.

Bells, Bells. Sorry, um

Can I go in your

bedroom for a bit?

- Yeah. Sure.

- Got a headache.

- Are you having a good time?

- Yeah. Yeah.

What's wrong?

- What a party.

- Hello, mate.

- I'm gonna smoke if

- We're not smokers.

- V for Vape.

- Oh, yeah, course.

Yeah, well, I'll be,

uh, outside.

- Shall I tell her to go?

- No, no, no.

I'm happy for her to be here,

as long as you trust her.

- Do you trust her?

- Why wouldn't I trust her?

Because of things that happened

in the past?

Like framing a black man

for something he never did?

That That was, um,

- that was a long time ago.

- And in between that time,

has anything been resolved,

has she even said anything?

Uh, no, no.

Exactly, then why is she

all up in our yard

dancing with our friends,

consuming the vibes,

consuming the food?

Well, she paid

for the food. Now that

Yeah, even that though,

why is she being nice

and supportive?

What is she hiding?

T, we need to resolve our

problems on the dance floor.

- Yeah. Okay.

- Yeah

- Just be careful.

- Careful

- Yo.

- Yo.

That's mad,

I was just thinking about you.

Yeah, I've been wanting to say

sorry for disappearing after,

you know

Yeah.

And I wanted to say thank you.

Thank you?

Yeah,

for being so cool, you know?

Yo, I met someone,

and I don't care, you know,

I don't give a f*ck.

I'm doing me,

and I'm not listening

to anything anyone has to say,

do you know what I mean?

Oh, Egyptuador, you having fun?

- Yeah. Having a good time.

- More wine?

- Nah. I'm good, you know.

- Oops!

I'm actually

trying to find your toilet?

Uh, yeah.

It's the first door on the left.

- This one?

- Yeah.

Oh, sorry, man,

I thought this was the toilet.

I prefer your anti-man videos.

Aah, Samson,

it's not exactly a bad cause

because crops are, you know

- dying and sh*t, so

- I don't have garden,

I don't see crops.

Samson, it's a thing, you know,

planet-wise, we are f*cked.

Is this what

they pay you to say?

Theo, back me up?

I can't, I'm eating.

Look. All I'm saying is,

if you deep it

Sis, deep history, I beg.

Let me tell you something

about the vegan,

- and the climateer.

- Yes, Pastor Samson.

Oh, they love

looking into the future.

But they don't care

about the past.

Because they don't look

too noble back there.

It's our duty to remind them.

- May we never forget.

- We will count every sin.

How's that got anything

to do with

It is the same manipulative

and sociopathic mind

that helped them invade,

exploit, and r*pe,

all but 22 countries

in the world

that they're channeling

to invade Hackney,

to talk about cows and carrots.

It doesn't matter

what it looks like.

Jesus, the English language,

sports, climate change,

the only real agenda

is power and worship.

- And money.

- The same way they used

the missionaries

to spread their "goodness"

Well, yeah,

they don't get paid when I post.

Chale, if you're going to fight

exploitation of any kind,

you yourself better know

when you're being exploited.

Every like you get

gives them exposure.

Exposure gives them

more followers.

Followers gives them power.

And power gives them money.

And you

help them get our attention.

Do you want me

to open the window?

Get some air in here?

Maybe they're right

about the icecaps.

I gotta tell you something.

Yeah. You were quiet in there.

I was quiet in there, yeah.

You know I don't do, like, that

corny f*cking Facetime,

Insta stuff for Happy Animals.

I scout Bells,

do you know what I mean?

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

No, sorry,

what do you mean?

So, like bringing you in.

Uh, me bringing you in,

uh, does have benefits.

Yeah, the referral fee.

Uh, so if I bring in

people of color,

I get a better referral fee.

So he he was right.

- But they do want

- Yeah.

Sorry.

Yeah, the more I think about it,

the more I'm

I probably should have told you,

um, obviously then

you wouldn't have

And I really need the cash.

And you said

you really needed the cash.

Theo.

You know, um

- school days?

- Yeah.

It was me that went

to the teacher,

um, what's it, Mr

- Mr. McHale.

- Yeah.

Wow. I always wondered

how I got caught.

Yeah.

I was a bit sh*t.

No, you weren't.

Anyway. I don't think I'm gonna

go in tomorrow

because I don't think

I wanna do that job anymore.

- Oh, tomorrow?

- Mm-hmm.

Hmm. Would have been nice.

Smile, say some catchphrases,

pose, double pay.

Too good to be true, right?

- Oh, yo.

- Hi. Where's Kwame?

I gave him some private time

with Jamal in my bedroom.

He's on a break?

I'm sure he was swiping

on Grindr in the market.

He's on a break.

Yup.

I had to find the key.

For f*ck's sake.

- See ya, bro.

- What happened?

- I'm gonna f*cking k*ll her.

- No, no, no.

Where is she?

Come on.

Oh, um, we can still get

the money from Happy Animals.

- How?

- I'll let it percolate.

- Okay.

- Night, Ben.

Night, Ben.

Who did you talk to?

No one, really,

I just reported it and boy.

Yeah.

That was enough to put me off

ever mentioning it

to anyone ever again.

- f*ck.

- Yeah.

I I think I just wanted

to forget about it.

You have to tell Bella.

Yeah. I'll tell her,

but these times,

it's kind of hard

to get an in with her.

Do you know what I mean?

I feel like I've got to tweet

or Instagram her

before she even knows I exist.

Kwarms.

Oh, I'll tell her,

I'll tell her tomorrow.

She'll be good to talk to,

strengthening.

We should probably

help her tidy up.

Yeah.

Oh, happy birthday.

No, it's not mine,

it's hers, remember?

- sh*t!

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oi, oi, happy birthday.

- Oh, uh, tomorrow

- Yeah?

Will be tomorrow.

Tomorrow is tomorrow.

Your birth is my birth, guys.

The climate crisis is real.

My hair is not.

And I love chicken.

Fried chickens.

What the f

What the f

God found the line

that separated him

from everything else.

And we will show him

exactly what we mean

by violation.

Do you by any chance

wanna go out tonight?

Sex with men is not safe for me

right now.

And I would like to have sex

with a female.

Honestly, you need

a plane ticket to Italy!

What is it about Italy?

- Well you know what it is

- He's a hypocrite.

He's controlling!

- Bella?

- f*ck!

Ciao.