01x04 - The Husband

[bunniefuu]

Hello? Hurry up, I have lots to do.
I need to find a prawn supplier.

They’ve been married for 10 years.
Will they spend 20 years getting divorced?

Is anyone there?

Hello?

Hello?

Where is everyone?

Mr. Thakkar?

Radhika?

Mr. Thakkar?

Gigolo?

Where the hell are they?
I’m going to the loo.

Hi

Oh, nobody’s even here.

Radhika?

Bloody hell.

What? What?

Dammit. Still nobody.

What are these people doing?
Okay, I’m going to take a quick sh*t.

Where is everyone today?

Mr. Tripathy? Where are you?
Radhika?

Kalpesh is always taking a sh*t.

Hello! Where were you?

Mr. Tripathi, I was giving
Shreshtha a foot massage.

So he got tickled and felt happy,
so he gave me this boiled egg…

…and this drink. Cheers

Sujin? You’re drinking?

I don’t want to see this man’s face.

You’ve gone and drained our joint account.
I only have 15,000 bucks left in my savings.

And you’re sitting there, partying?

You think I’m partying?
First, correct your facts, Radhika.

I’m eating a boiled egg,
and stuck with Bobby Limbu.

Does this look like a party to you?

This is country liquor. If you have
three of these, you go blind.

You really think I’m partying?

You think this is fun for me?
He keeps me tied up at all times.

You think massaging Shreshtha’s
glutes give me great joy?

You think I like looking at his hairy a*s?

Come closer and talk to me.
Don’t sh**t from afar.

I don’t even want to look at your face.
And anyway, I have short-sightedness.

It was you who said you are
many different people, in one.

So maybe you have a special personality,
where you like having your hands and legs…

…tied, and want to be a
sex sl*ve to some bookie.

I bet there is no such fetish.
Try doing an online research.

And you always manipulate the basic facts.

You’d once asked me which animal
Bachchan fought with in the film, “Shaan”.

I told you he fights a crocodile. You disagreed,
and thought it was an angry dolphin

I’ve told you so many times, the
dolphin was in a film called “Ajooba”.

She was playing Amitabh’s mother.
But you just won’t listen to me.

You can’t make up your own dolphin!
There is a limit!

Listen, Sujin. Sometimes, I
have alternative facts, okay?

And, by the way, I’m a qualified journalist.
So what if I got fired from my job…

…I still have my press pass.

And it is my job to find
both sides of the fact.

You mean, both sides of the story.

Take a good look at this man.
This man, in the midst of a pandemic…

…managed to bankrupt his wife.
And that, is a fact.

If you had 20 lakhs at your disposal,
what would you even do with it right now?

Where would you spend it?

Anything I’d like

I could have bought
a hair-curler on Amazon.

All deliveries of non-essential
services have been shut down.

Your money was getting wasted
lying in the bank account…

…just the way milk goes
bad lying in the fridge.

I’ve used that milk to make some tea,
so why can’t you just enjoy the tea?

I mean…

Your money is multiplying
right now, as we speak.

I have helped you.
You should be thanking me.

Thank me.

Thank me.

Thank you.

Good. You are welcome.

What? No! You do this every time, Dhangka.
You confuse me with convoluted logic.

Milk and money aren’t the same thing.

Money doesn’t go bad lying in one place.

If you have a boiled egg in one hand, and
a Bobby Limbu in the other, you’d understand.

Everyone, calm down, please.

Only fight when everyone is on the call.
Don’t waste this fighting amongst yourselves.

Does anyone know where Mr. Thakkar is?

My grandmother has been calling her.
She just isn’t answering the phone.

Guys, come closer.

What do you guys think?

What was she up to last night?

Do you think she’s dead?

Do you think she has Corona?

I can’t really hear you.

She’s not dead from Covid, Radhika.
She was arguing with someone, in her house.

You can’t argue with a virus.
It’s not Arnab Goswami.

I can’t hear anything.

Again, you have manipulated me, Sujin.

How?

What?

Hear me out. Do you think there
were shots fired at her house?

Yesterday, a gangster celebrated his
birthday, in the house next door.

Shots were fired.
Two people died.

I can’t hear anything.

What I’m saying is,
do you think Rajni is dead?

I’m so sorry I’m late.

Even we thought you are ‘Late’ Rajni Thakkar.

What happened, madam?

Nothing serious. The thing is, I have a cat.
She misbehaves from time to time, that’s it.

Dhangka, I always wanted a cat.

Dammit! Again you’re on a video conference?

Madam, your cat speaks very good English.

Please excuse me.

She’s gone again.

Hang on, my grandmother’s calling.

Hello?

Hi, how are you? Doing all right?

Dhangka, tell her I said hi.

Radhika says hi.

She hopes you’re well.

The divorce proceedings are on.

The Divorce is going well.

I’ll call you later, okay?

Right now, I’m in the middle of this divorce.

Bye.

I… I’m really sorry for this.

Everything okay at your end?

Yes… why?

Someone seems to be disturbing you.
Are they Goods and Services Tax inspectors conducting a raid?

Mr. Tripathy, how many times have you
sold Chinese food during the call.

Did I say anything to you then?
Please don’t interfere in my personal life.

Anyway, I have a very
crucial photo evidence.

You’ll see it now, and that
will be the end of this case.

Wow! Where did you find this picture?

Radhika, please, admit it.

Admit that it is you making
these sexual poses with that girl.

Of course it’s me.
It’s such a nice picture.

We were really drunk, but its
nothing like that, nothing sexual.

Mr. Thakkar, Mr. Thakkar! First, I’d
like to register a criminal complaint.

This gigolo client of yours has stolen
20 lakh rupees from my client’s bank account.

Tripathi, that’s nonsense.This is a divorce case,
not a criminal case.

One case can only be
argued on one subject.

Mr. Kohli, we aren’t here to debate
about someone’s sexual preference.

Nor are we here to
pass judgement on it.

But, this photograph proves
that this whole marriage is null and void.

This woman is in ill*gal possession
of my client’s property, and there…

…she conducts these
activities, with her l*sbian friends.

This marriage has been an absolute
lie, right from the very beginning.

Amazing! And you claimed to have
proven this through some photos?

Just because someone’s had a bit to drink,
and is standing at a slightly different angle…

…suddenly they’re no longer heterosexual?

This is the limit. Wait, let me demonstrate.

Kalpesh!

Kalpesh. Come here.

Sit over here.

No. Cut it out.

No, don’t do it, Mr. Tripathy.
We don’t need a demonstration.

Hang on, I’m not demonstrating this for you,
I’m doing it for the honourable judge.

Your honour, Kalpesh and I have been
watching TV like this for the last twenty years.

Hand me another Bobby Limbu drink, please.
I’d rather go blind.

You tell me, are we lesbians?

There, he said no.

Go. Hurry up with those prawns.

Did you see that? He said no.

I’ve shown you two solid evidences.

You can’t talk like that to my client.

(All screaming)

Shut up!

Shut the f*ck up, everyone.

Everyone is only busy
thinking of themselves.

Over here, my husband
won’t ever leave sight of me.

He’s screaming at the top
of his lungs in our little flat.

Corona will be cured.
Sex is the vaccine

Sex increases immunity.
Have sex. Have lots of it.

Go Corona! Go Corona!

Nobody gives a sh*t about me.
Everyone just cares about themselves

I’m done with this.

She’s gone again.

Sorry.

I feel like I’m being subjected to some
sort of digital domestic violence.

I’m also done with this.

Sex is the vaccine for Corona?

Let me send that out
on the family group chat.

Everyone, have lots of sex…