01x03 - Episode 3

[bunniefuu]

Well, the good news is

you got your planning.

Really? Oh, thank you!

And they're gonna want

to move our tree.

'You can trust me.

You know you can.'

Just do what you need to do.

You have to trust me.

If we don't have that,

what have we got?

Oh, and can you move your camera

away from looking at our house?

I'm a lawyer.

It invades our privacy.

Shame. Makes interesting viewing.

Why would you say that?

I thought we were mates.

What's that?

"One for sorrow."

MAGPIES CACKLE

JOHN: Emma!

Where are you?

MACHINERY CLANKS

BEEPING

Oh!

WHIRRING

Oh!

BEEPING

MAGPIE CACKLES

Superstitious, are you?

Oh, yeah.

Listen, we're gonna need a decision

about next door's tree.

He's digging down a metre,

but without moving it,

he's gonna have to dig down

another 50cm minimum,

and that's gonna cost you

an extra two grand, I'm afraid.

You've only been here a week,

and already the money's going up.

Your call.

TEXT ALER

Jesus.

Hey. Need a hand?

Cos I thought I was here

as the driver.

Funny (!)

ALAN CHUCKLES

Man, what you got in here, bricks?

Cookery books.

Yeah.

You should read them

once in a while.

I can cook.

Ha! Yeah, Sonia said.

Right, just this stuff,

and then we're done.

What are you doing

with this stuff anyway?

Just gotta move out of the kitchen

for the extension.

THEY GRUN

Thanks for helping.

What are friends for?

I wasn't sure we were still friends

after the other night.

Oh, come on.

A bit of banter never hurt anyone.

Besides, it wasn't me

who lost my sh*t.

You called me a liar.

I said you "embellish".

I didn't say

there was anything wrong with it.

I mean, we can't always

tell the truth, can we?

Barbara, all we're asking is

We are not moving the tree!

Your stupid party wall agreement

tells us that we have to let you

move the fence

while you do something or other,

but it says nothing about the tree.

And we're really grateful that

you're letting us move the fence.

It's just

We're not! We have no choice.

But, Barbara,

it's gonna cost us a lot of money.

Not everything is about money.

No, no,

I didn't mean it like that

Leave us alone,

and if you or your builders

come near that tree

Why do this to us?

Why? Everything was

Everything was what?

Barbara, are you OK?

Do you need to tell me something?

You heard her. Leave us alone.

All right. All right.

Have it your way.

I won't ask you

for any more favours from now on,

but just so you know, we're gonna do

this whether you like it or not.

And we're gonna do it our way.

Oh, for God's sake!

What's wrong with you?

What's wrong with you, woman?

Just stop panicking

about the bloody tree!

You can't speak to her!

Do you understand?

You can't be trusted!

I don't know what to do.

Nothing. We do nothing.

You just leave it to me.

Do you hear me? But, Derek

Just Just shut up!

Sonia!

What can I do for you, Derek?

You have to help us.

Help you? How?

Surely you don't want this extension

any more than we do?

Oh, it doesn't affect us.

Of course it does.

I mean, we don't love it, but

Well, they have planning,

so there's nothing I could do

even if I wanted.

We could stop them,

if we work together.

And if we do, well,

maybe they'll change their minds

and move away,

just like they were planning to.

They're our friends, Derek.

Are they?

Are you sure?

Well, you need to tell your friends

that they've bitten off more

than they can chew this time.

Why are you so upset?

They want to move our tree.

How dare they?

Well, it's Barbara more than me.

She's unsettled by it all.

Some things matter.

They'll listen to you.

What's so special about that tree?

Please just tell them.

That's not what we agreed, Lee.

No, I'm gonna do a bank transfer.

Yes, I'll pay extra money

for the ditch.

You said nothing about cash, Lee.

You did not.

Look, I've got to go.

I'll discuss it later.

You always were

a little stress ball.

It's my builder.

He wants paying in cash.

Course he does. Yeah, but

it's tens of thousands of pounds.

So pay him some in cash

and some above board,

then he'll work harder for you

if you do.

What, he'll work harder for me

if I allow him not to pay tax?

It's what made this country great.

What, criminals and tax avoiders?

Entrepreneurs, kid.

Entrepreneurs.

Listen,

what do you need me for, Dad?

How's the build going?

Apart from the cash thing.

Yeah, it's going.

Any issues?

No, apart from the neighbours.

Well, there's nothing

the neighbours can do

now you have planning.

Dad, this is all above board,

isn't it?

I mean, we are just pushing

the process along -

we're not changing the outcome?

HE CHUCKLES

You think those two things

are different?

You're adorable.

Dad!

I need you to sign something

for me, for my partner.

For what? We're buying a site

in the city centre,

and he's still raising the cash.

I need somebody to say

I'm good for the money

and to vouch for me

so we can move things on.

But why do you need me?

Don't you know anyone else?

My solicitor backdated

some property documents

to avoid a penalty,

so he got struck off,

and we need to do this quickly.

He did that for you?

Emma, we need to move fast on this.

All right, well, just to be clear,

when you say "vouch",

you mean "underwrite"?

Guarantee the money?

There's nothing to worry about.

Oh, sure (!)

You want me to vouch for someone

whose previous solicitor

got struck off for breaking the law.

I'm asking you

to vouch for your father.

Which is a big ask, as it's you.

It isn't ill*gal.

It's barely an issue.

The money's as good as there.

Well, just wait for it, then.

If we stall, we lose the site.

And trust me,

this one is a game-changer.

Oh, well, they always are,

aren't they, Dad?

What about this business partner?

Can't he find a guarantor?

And, you know, how can I trust him?

Or you?

He got you your planning.

Trust isn't really the issue.

So I owe him.

SHE SIGHS

John will divorce me

if he finds out.

Hm, so it's a win-win, then.

I could lose my house.

You won't lose anything.

Happens all the time.

I wouldn't ask,

but we did you a favour.

And I need this to happen fast.

What if I don't?

You will.

Um, did I hear you say decaf?

Ugh, yeah. Caffeine gets me wired.

Isn't that why we drink it?

Hm.

I was thinking

Mmm.

..about what you were saying

about the photos.

Do you really think

there's something there?

Yeah, sure. You're brilliant.

In fact, I've

I've already shown them

to my friend.

She agrees.

And she's a real agent?

A real one, yeah.

You're very sweet.

Do you know that?

Sorry. It just all seems

too good to be true.

Look, I know a good photo

when I see one.

So, why don't you do it more?

Your stuff's great, too.

Maybe I will.

I think photos tell the truth

in a way that life never can.

Sorry, I didn't mean to

No, I

You still haven't told me

about what it is you do

when you're not taking photos.

Is it top secret?

WHISPERING: Yes.

Oh, really?

CHUCKLING: No, no.

I am a police officer.

Wow!

Mm.

I wasn't expecting that.

That's why I don't tend

to bring it up.

That's I've never met a real one.

Are there pretend ones?

No!

My dad was a copper.

His dad was a copper, so it just

kind of made sense, you know?

Hmm. I could never do

what my dad does.

Actually, I could now.

He does nothing. He's unemployed.

PC GALLAGHER LAUGHS

I don't mean to laugh.

It's just the way you said it.

It's fine.

I really like

the way you say things.

BETH LAUGHS NERVOUSLY

So, what about your mum?

Oh, she's a solicitor.

She tries to keep people

out of prison.

Actually, she's pretty much

your nemesis.

She doesn't have many good things

to say about coppers.

I'm sure she's lovely.

HE GROANS

Thanks for your help, mate.

I owe you one.

We agreed 300 cash.

Yeah, right! I'll buy you a pint.

Ha! We can go now.

I've got nothing on.

I, uh Yeah,

I have to be somewhere, so

NICK: Could I?

Could I have a word?

I'll leave you to it.

All right, see you later.

Yeah.

That man is very rude.

Nick, I don't have time to

I'm aware you're allowed the skip

and even the portable toilet,

but I'm also aware that there are

rules about noise on a Saturday.

Look No, no,

that's not what I'm here for.

I'm here to remind you

that the council are meeting

about the permits imminently,

and I need more signatures.

You mean, apart from my wife's?

I work nights.

So what happens here

in the daytime affects my

Yes, you've said.

I really have to be somewhere.

I've got something you might like

to see on my CCTV.

What are you talking about?

I'm in all the time,

if you want to watch it.

As you know,

I find it difficult to sleep.

God, my back is k*lling me.

You ever try lifting

a sofa into a van?

Yeah, well, he's a pro.

HE CHUCKLES

Do you know what John offered me

in thanks?

A pint.

He's been behaving weirdly,

I'm telling you.

You were the one

behaving weirdly with him

the other night in the pub.

HE SCOFFS

Why are you dressed like that?

Oh, I have to go to work.

What? It's Saturday.

Yeah, no,

there's a conference at school.

I did tell you about it.

Did you?

Mm-hm. I won't be late.

I've left some chicken out

to defrost.

CROCKERY CLINKS

'Hi, this is John.

Please leave a message.'

John, where are you?

There's something

I need to tell you about.

I'll be home in an hour.

I'm a twitcher,

in case you were wondering.

NICK SIGHS

I just love watching

the little beauties.

Now, your wife once told me

she was a fan of birds.

She's superstitious.

It's different.

You know, scientists think

that unless we do something

about the environment soon,

one third of all bird species

will be extinct

by the end of the century.

Astonishing.

Now, you'll have to come

a little bit closer

because the thing with CCTV is

images can be a little bit grainy.

Fortunately, some might say.

But, that said, it's fascinating

what you can see on this.

Absolutely fascinating.

Have a look at this.

What am I looking at?

OK.

Um I'll just open another one.

So what? Well,

that's Sonia and Alan's bedroom.

Hmm? Unless I'm mistaken.

JOHN SCOFFS

Are you out of your mind?

No.

Although I have been described

as a "one-off"

by my friend

at the Ornithological Society.

What are you suggesting?

I'm not suggesting anything.

I'm just saying, you know,

it's a bit

it's a bit suspicious.

I could get you arrested for this,

you know.

Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh! I am just filming

the street in front of my house.

If something happens

in the background,

that's purely coincidental.

Not that it's any of your business,

but there's a

There's a completely rational

explanation for that.

I hadn't seen that

the first time I posted it.

This is the one I posted.

You'll remember that.

Are you trying to blackmail me?

No, I'm

You'd really go to all this trouble

just for a few parking permits?

They're important.

It's not just for me -

it's for the environment.

You're insane, you know that?

You're completely insane.

You have nothing

because there is nothing.

Well, sign the petition,

and there will be nothing.

You leave me and my family alone.

You hear me?

There's more!

There's more where that came from.

We haven't got

to the series finale yet.

BIRDS CHIRP

Wow, you're making

a lot of headway.

We'll be pouring concrete on Monday,

and steels will be arriving,

so we can start to take

the back of your house off.

It's all just happening so fast.

So I'm gonna need some cash

so I can pay the lads, you know.

Yeah, I need to talk to you

about that. Two grand.

Lee, would you mind

if I just paid some in cash

and some as a bank transfer?

We agreed cash.

Well, we didn't, actually.

We've talked about this.

Look, if you want this job

to go as quickly and smoothly

as possible, then cash it is.

TEXT ALER

So, are we agreed?

Yeah, cash, whatever.

TEXT ALER

KNOCK AT DOOR

Hey. You busy?

Yeah, a little.

Can you spare me a minute?

Mm sure.

What you up to?

I'm just

Are those all yours?

Yeah.

They're really good.

I was looking at some photos

downstairs of you and Dad.

They're so nice.

Mum, was there something you wanted?

Because I'm pretty busy.

When you said the other day that

..that me and your dad

don't know you, what did you mean?

I don't know. Nothing.

Well, you did.

Look, I know I've been really busy

and your dad's been having

a hard time, but

I just want you to know

that you can tell us anything.

And, you know,

now the build's underway,

I really want your input.

I mean, you're the only one

with an eye for detail.

What do you reckon?

Why are you asking me this now,

though?

Why not before it all started?

Because it was hectic before,

and I was all stressed,

and I'm asking you

because I value your opinion.

So, I'm just sorry

if we've seemed a bit absent.

Anyway, have a think.

Yeah, yeah.

Beth, what did you mean

about Marcus?

You said that he had to leave

because Barbara and Derek

ignored him.

So?

Well, how did you know that?

He told me.

Well Well,

did he say anything else?

Beth?

BETH SIGHS

He's not a good person.

Marcus said he was violent.

Derek?

What, violent towards Barbara

or Marcus?

Both.

Why are you asking me this now?

Is it so you can use it to get them

to dig up their stupid tree?

That's why you actually

came in here.

No, Beth, come on, that's not fair.

You don't care about my input.

Look, I'm gonna cook dinner tonight.

It's been a while

since we all sat down together.

I might be out.

Well, I'd really like you

to be there.

Just tonight, please.

CLATTER

Emma, hi.

Sorry to disturb.

No probs. What's up?

Er, I wanted to give you this.

Oh

Just that I'm sorry

about all the noise,

especially on a Saturday.

Um it's not much, but

Really, there's no need.

Yeah, well, I want you to have it.

WHIRRING,

ALAN CHUCKLES

Seriously, don't worry about it.

It's never gonna last forever.

Well, you're very kind.

Well, the more wine you bring,

the kinder I get.

Thanks.

Alan, you, um

you haven't seen John, have you?

No. I know you were helping

him out earlier.

I I can't get hold of him.

I've left him a message.

It's just strange. He just, uh

He just keeps doing this.

Sorry. You don't need to know that.

Um, thanks again for helping out

and for putting up with the noise,

and yeah.

Why don't you come in?

I mean, it's Saturday,

and this wine won't drink itself.

Unless you've got

something better to do?

Yeah.

I've always loved those shelves.

Where did you get them?

We didn't get them anywhere.

I did 'em.

Seriously?

Yeah. I used to be a chippy.

Before I realised

there was more money to be made

in people's diminishing eyesight.

SHE CHUCKLES

Thank God for mobile phones

and small typeface,

that's what I say.

Cheers.

Cheers.

Maybe we should get you to do ours.

You know what they say.

Never work with mates and animals.

No, it's children.

Yeah, you're right.

Mates and children.

Mmm.

So, you said

John's been disappearing.

I shouldn't have said anything.

You know he's going through

a hard time.

He's He's probably just

on one of his walks.

Well, it's not easy leaving a job

because of stress.

Big decision, especially at his age.

He's lucky he's got you.

You know, good earner.

A "good earner"?!

Oh, that's something to aspire to

in a relationship.

Sorry. Obviously,

you are a lot more than that.

I just meant

..Sonia's been doing the same.

What?

Meetings, walking, shopping

disappearing.

You're not worried about him,

are you?

You know, like, properly worried?

In what way?

Well, what he might be up to.

Oh, God, no. No, I was just

..just a bit worried, you know,

and men talk to other men.

You haven't met any men, have you?

ALAN CHUCKLES

What about you?

Are you worried about Sonia?

Having an affair?

Well, I wasn't thinking

All the time.

'Emma! Where's my fence?'

Oh, dear God.

Emma!

There was no agreement

to remove it - just to move it!

PAWEL CURSES IN POLISH

Don't you even speak English, man?

Look, look, you

you put my bloody fence back!

Oi, Derek, what's going on?

There you are.

Could you control

your damn builders?

They're gonna put it back.

They just need to move it a bit.

That's not what was agreed.

Well, to be fair, Derek,

you didn't agree on anything.

No. Come on, you!

Derek!

PAWEL SHOUTS IN POLISH

You touch my tools again,

I'll let him finish.

Do you understand?

Oh, right.

I'll be informing the council

about this

and possibly the police.

You have no idea

what you have done here.

Yeah, but you'll find out.

PHONE BUZZES

PHONE VIBRATES

Andi?

'Hey, what's going on?'

Nothing much.

Yeah, so, like I said,

I've just been pretty busy.

I haven't had time

to reply to a text or anything.

What are you busy doing -

locking people up?

ANDI SCOFFS

Actually, you've inspired me.

I'm taking photos.

Ooh. That's well exciting.

'None of them are as good as yours,

of course.'

Shut up! I'm sure they are.

When can I see them?

I'll show you.

When the time's right.

Are you sure you're OK?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm fine.

Good.

'I'm looking forward

to seeing you again.'

Me too.

SHUTTER CLICKS

John, why aren't you returning

my calls?

I'm cooking dinner for us.

Beth's gonna join.

Oh! sh*t!

KNOCK AT DOOR

Seriously?

Why don't you take your keys

with you?

And where have you been all day?

Everyone happy

on the Good Ship Barnett?

What are you doing here?

I can't come to visit my daughter

and my granddaughter?

No, you can't, actually.

Because if John finds you here,

he'll He'll what?

What happened to your hand?

Nothing.

You didn't reply to my text.

Dad.

Do you know what it means for me

if you default on this money?

I'm so disappointed

you can even say that.

I'm your father.

Yeah. That's what makes it worse.

Yeah, well, either you trust me,

or you don't.

Well, if they're my only options

I brought another copy,

in case you've misplaced

the contract.

Grandad?

Beth!

Well, come on.

Haven't you got a hug

for your dear old grandad?

What are you doing here?

You are just like your mother.

I came to say hello

to my favourite granddaughter.

I'm your only granddaughter.

Wait, you have others?

Your grandad's had

quite the life, Beth.

Can you give us a few minutes?

Sure.

Hey, I I missed your birthday.

You missed more than one.

Buy yourself something nice.

Thanks, I guess.

She's a chip off

If I sign this, will you leave?

I don't know what it is

I've done to you.

You've done nothing but take.

Mm-hm. But I did do something

I shouldn't have done.

Planning people

only have so many favours.

And I've given you one of them.

So you're not so clean now, missy.

I've got too much to lose.

It's not worth the risk.

Leave.

Oh, sh*t!

How do you feel about me

deciding to do the chicken

with penne and pesto, huh?

It's lovely.

I wasn't sure

what you had in mind

..you know,

or what time you'd be back,

so I just did something.

It's really nice, Al.

I spoke to Emma.

Oh, yeah? I saw the builders

have made some progress.

They have.

Although Derek's losing his sh*t.

Yeah. He spoke to me.

He seems pretty desperate.

Of course.

They're getting ever closer

to the dead body under the tree.

For God's sake, Alan.

ALAN CHUCKLES

Emma was saying that she might like

me to do some shelves.

For the new kitchen.

Is that a good idea?

I'm a good chippy.

Well, sure, but I mean

well, they're our friends.

What if they didn't like them?

Wouldn't that be awkward?

I think I know

the kind of thing she likes.

Hmm. You do?

Besides, John's my mate, really,

much more than Emma is.

She wouldn't feel awkward about

telling me she doesn't like it.

It'd be like

you doing John a favour.

I mean, you get on,

but you're not really close.

Sure. Yeah, you're right, why not?

This was really nice, thank you.

Oh, you're done?

Yeah, I'm tired,

and I've got a bit of work to do.

I'll wash up later, though,

so just leave it, yeah?

I just don't know why

you have to disappear for the day.

I didn't disappear.

I mean, I sent you a text message.

Did you?

I don't have a message.

JAZZ MUSIC POUNDS

THROUGH WALL

Is he serious?

He's trying to wind us up.

Yeah, well, he's succeeding!

SHOUTING: I hate jazz!

I'm gonna go and tell him.

No, wait. Wait.

You were telling me about your day.

For God's sake, really,

with this racket?

I just want to know

what you got up to.

Emma! I mean

HE SIGHS

I just

I just had to get away

from the builders for a bit.

They were doing my head in.

Well, where did you go?

For a walk.

You know, a long walk.

Like I used to.

Oh, what, when you were 19?

Look, the drilling,

the digging, it just

John, what's going on?

Nothing.

JAZZ CONTINUES

I need to tell

SHOUTING: Just ignore it!

How was your day?

Good.

You do anything? See anyone?

Well, I did see

You showed me your photos.

They're great.

Oh, nice.

I'm glad you're doing that.

You're good.

Mm. Actually, I met someone.

Someone who digs my work.

Oh, right. What, a friend, or?

Yeah, Mum. A friend.

OK. Well, that's lovely.

Lovely.

She's a copper.

Oh.

But she's nice.

Well, some of them are nice.

This is

SHOUTING: I mean,

what is wrong with him?

Look, Derek went mad at Lee today

about the fence.

That's what this is all about.

We can't put up with this.

Lee was pretty scary, actually.

I think he put

the fear of God in him.

Maybe that's what he needs.

PHONE PINGS

Oh, that's her.

Beth, are you OK?

JAZZ BLARES

SOBBING

JAZZ BLARES

Uh-uh-uh!

Don't even think about it!

I'm warning you, woman.

JAZZ MUSIC POUNDS

THROUGH WALL

Turn it down!

I thought you said to ignore it?

Are you looking at his camera?

Sod this. I'm going to Derek's.

I saw some of Nick's footage.

Whose?

Nick's.

Why? Thought I'd better

see the evidence.

Evidence?

Of what?

What do you think?

I I don't

The need for parking permits.

Right.

And? Did you see anything?

GLASS SHATTERS

What the?!

They've gone.

Whoever it was has

JAZZ MUSIC CONTINUES

"Two for joy."

ALAN: Sonia?

Are you OK?

Did you hear a noise?

Sonia?

"Three for a girl, four for a boy."

What does this even mean?

It means there's three more

to go before

Before what?

A secret never to be told.

Why are you lying to me?!

I'm not lying!

Just stop it! Stop lying!

What you gonna do, eh?

You gonna k*ll me?

Like you k*lled your son, Marcus!

What have you done?

Loved you.

That's all I've ever done.

I said let go!

Everything's gone, Dad.

Everything's gone.

If you've done anything to her,

I will k*ll you.