01x03 - Zook Club

[bunniefuu]

- So for me, it was

the unflinching eye

- with which the author
- interrogated

Themes of mortality while

blending in observational wit

sharp enough to cut this

Manchego.

That had me sit up and go,

"Hmm?"

- Could I open the wine now,

or were you gonna say

some more stuff?

- Well, I was hoping
- to open it up

- For a discussion, but...
- Oh, oh, oh, oh!

- Yes!
- Hudson?

Is there more dip?

- Did you guys even read
- the book?

- Or are you just here
- for the crudités?

- Who the hell's "Cruditay"?

That guy?

- "That guy" is Dr. Geraldine

Waters-Mangool,

- author of this week's
- selection,

"A Remembrance Of Our

Father's Daughters."

Again, thank you for gracing

our salon, doctor.

- Okay, what's all this?

- Ah, sorry, Deb.

- Yeah, we're just wrappin' up
- here.

- Wrappin' what up?

- I was just walking by and
- heard someone say

"crudités."

- Oh, that's just for book club
- members only.

- A club?

And this is the first

I'm hearing of it?

- That's odd.
- The invites do go out weekly.

- Huh.

So I can have the crudités?

- Book club is a weekly
- gathering

- For lovers of literature
- to discuss

Fiction, nonfiction,

and yes...

sometimes poetry.

- And always wine!

- Thank you, Martin.

Yes, libations are fun.

That's a small part of it.

- All rights reserved including
- the right to reproduce

- This book in portions thereof
- in any form is strictly...

This is boring as f*ck.

- Well, that's just
- the copyright page.

- Whatever.

I bet I could write something

better than this garbage.

- Next time, I'll bring a book
- everyone can really

Sink their teeth into.

Mine.

- Then you'll have to let me
- into your stupid club.

- I mean,
- you could just show up.

- And bring more crudités.

Extra ranch.

- Hmm.

- And I don't wanna be a d*ck.

- Mm.
- I don't!

- But the platter is for book
- club members only.

- Well...
- Though, I don't blame Debbie

For wanting some.

It's damn good "cru" if I

"dités" so myself.

- Huh, I didn't know you had
- a club for books.

- Does no one get my

invitations?

- So...

- what's the next book you're
- reading?

- Oh, you're gonna love this.

Debby says she's gonna

write one, but I...

- Huh?
- What?

- I'm in!
- Oh, my God. I'm in.

I am so in.

- Do you know how hard it is
- to write a book?

- Not when you've lived the life
- Debbie has.

Man, I can't wait

for book club!

- Now, I know drinking's
- a big part of it.

Is it a "BYOB" situation,

or...?

- Puh-lease.

There is literally zero chance

Deb will write a word

let alone an entire book

in a week.

- "The end."

Not bad for a day's work!

Billy Boy!

Bind this and fire up

the printing press.

Oh, and here.

Jacket me.

So, what did you think?

Be brutally honest.

- I...

loved it!

Now is it fiction,

nonfiction, or...

poetry?

- All of the above.

And a little from behind.

- Where do you get your

inspiration?

- What?!
- You read it, Hudson?

- Oh.
- You didn't?

Hmm...

- Well, I mean...
- I started to.

But then I got sidetracked

coming up with some book

options for next week

that would spark some actually

stimulating conversation.

- Stimulating?

- Yeah, someone def didn't read
- chapter seven.

- Is it too late?
- Did I miss it?

- Aw, sh**t.

- Yeah, we're actually just
- wrappin' up here.

- But next week we're gonna be
- reading something

That I've selected.

- Guys! We're not too late!

Book club, baby!

Now make way for the té!

- Great book, Deb.

Even better book club.

- Um, actually,
- it's my book club.

- Glenn, there you are!

- So I've got a bunch of ideas of
- how to make this book club...

How do I put this politely...

not the f*cking worst?

- Mm, yeah.
- Cool.

- That's cool.
- Yeah, look.

- I appreciate your input,
- I really do,

- But I think book club should go
- back to what it was.

A carefully curated list

of books, chosen by me!

- Ooh, a guest list.

That's a great idea, Glenn.

Keep out the riffraffs.

Like that ostrich?

Yawn!

- Martin was the first one

to join book club!

- And he's killin' the vibe,
- Glenn.

- You're k*lling the vibe,
- Debbie!

And book club along with it!

I'm sorry, but it's the truth.

- Oh, because people actually

show up and like it now?

- Do you even have

a favorite book?

I mean a real book!

Name one single author!

Nope, you can't say yourself.

- Easy.

Dr. Geraldine Waters-Mangool.

Owe you a blurb, Dr. G!

Listen, Glenn.

This club is blowin' up,

so you can get on board, or...

f*ck the f*ck off!

- Grr!

I just feel like I'm losing

control of book club.

Maybe I should bring

extra ranch next week.

- Ugh, that sounds

really hard, Glenn.

- It is.

It really is.

- Ah, I shouldn't even be buggin'
- you with this stuff.

- I mean, you can't even join
- book club,

What with water and books not

really meshing well

- like you're always telling me
- over and over.

- Yeah, I wish they did, but...

oof.

- Well, thank you, - Marn.

This made me feel so much

better.

- Just nice to have someone
- on my side.

- Of course.
- Feel better, Glenn.

- Okay, he's gone.

Book club, commence!

- I don't see why we don't just

combine book clubs?

- Look, I love Glenn.

But book club Glenn?

Oof.

- Whew!
- Hot tea.

- Aah!

- This is crazy.

What are we doing?

Mmm.

- Tonight is gonna be a real

page-turner.

- I'm so glad we combined

book clubs!

- Best club ever!

What's black and white and red

all over?

Me!

Ha-ha!

Welcome to book club.

- Aah!

- Hey!
- Get in line, freckles.

- I started this book club,

for God sakes!

- f*ck, comma, cheetah.

Yeah, I'm not seeing it.

Back of the line.

- Ah, yes!
- Look!

You can ask Martin!

- Martin! Martin!
- Huh?

- Come tell him you know me.
- Hmm...

- Martin!
- Ohh?

- Vibe-k*lling traitor.

- Hey!

No hopping in line!

I've been here for hours!

- Don't you know how
- book club works?

- Ha, ha, ha!
- Do I!

- It's a forum for discussing
- your favorite

Fiction, nonfiction,

and sometimes poetry...

Not getting loaded and hanging

out with your friends!

- I dunno, it sounds a lot like
- every book club I've been to.

- Dyahh!
- That's it!

- Where is she?!
- Hey!

- Rodney, Travis.
- We've got a stray.

- All right, spotted jack.
- Gah!

- Let's go.

- Aha, fellas!

We have a classic

- misunderstanding
- on our hands here.

- Oy, mate.

- Did you not hear my lad
- right here?

Is he having a giraffe?

- Oop, no, no, no.

- There's no need to get
- physical.

I will leave of my own

volition.

- This fellow's on

my last nerve.

Think we have to lay aims?

- Oy, Travis.

- You must be a right regular
- at book club.

- Oh, yeah?
- How's that, Rodney?

- 'Cause you just read my mind.

No no no no no no!

Aah!

Ugh!

Aah...

- Ugh.
- Fine.

- Let's see what all the fuss
- is about.

Oh, sh*t!

Oh, sh*t!

Oh, sh*t.

- Not bad, is it?

I mean,

- It's no "Remembrance
- Of Our Father's Daughters",

But hey.

I'm a little biased.

- Dr. Geraldine

Waters-Mangool?!

What are you doing here?

- Glenn, I've been

to many book clubs.

They all start with the noblest

intentions, but...

in the end, they all crumble

like dusty old tombs.

- Aww, I was reading that.

- They always end

for the same reason.

- Yeah, people not

appreciating books.

- Some spotted d*ck just

wanting to hear the sound

of their own damn voice.

- Wait, what?

- Oh, come on, Glenn.

You don't really want a

"forum for discussion."

You just want a space

to bloviate.

- Bloviate.

- God, you really are
- a great writer.

I mean, that's not...

entirely true.

- Ah, you remind me of Francis

and her bridge club

in my second novel...

"Remembrance Of

Our Cousin's Dentists."

- She just wanted to create
- an environment

Where she could be the expert

for once.

- And... what happened

to Francis?

- Well, when that wag-tail

Rutherford started

the bridge society, she started

something new:

a vintners club.

- Of course, she drowned in a vat
- of double barrel...

Wait.

You never read

my second novel?!

You really are

full of sh*t!

- Aaaaaaah!

Gyahh!

Epiphany!

- Ah, yes.

And so for me,

it's the floral aroma

blended with that cinnamon bite

that brings this one to life

and makes me go...

Mmm.

- I like to add a cheeky touch

of spice.

- Can we get more cookies,
- please?

Good to be back to normal.

What's so wrong with a little

harmless bloviation anyway?

- Who's bloviating who now?

A tea club?

And no one told me?

Ugh, let me get my dang herbs.

- Oh, and we should start

calling it "The Wet Tea Club."

It'll make sense later.