01x05 - Heist Society

[bunniefuu]

Hello and welcome

to Nebula-75.

I am Circuit.

This production is
made during lockdown

in a small apartment in

London with no budget.

Despite these facts,
many people who

have never made a
Supermarionation series

in a small apartment in

London with no budget

have been kind enough to write

to us with their advice.

None of their ideas worked.

I am shocked.

The rain in space can
often freeze off

one's face.

The rain in space can often
freeze off one's face.

By George! I think she's got it!

Of course one has it.

One was born with it,
was one not?

Hardly, dear Sybil.

However, I think you'll pass.
Especially to others who weren't, well...

hmm... also born with it.

Do you mean the working class?

No, dear.
Americans.

Anyway, do be careful nevertheless.

We don't want you slipping
up like last time,

Your, err, "Ladyship".

That weren't nothing to do with me!

One means, that was nothing
to do with one.

Yes, quite.

Anyway, just watch it.
Our brave, err, 'rescuers'

will be here any minute now and this
looks set to be our biggest prize yet.

So don't forget, you're a
member of high society now.

Don't you mean, Heist Society?

Yes... I rather think I do.

We are receiving a distress call.

A distress call?

Affirmative.

Hmm.

It should be silent out there, but it
seems everyone is out and about suddenly...

Could you put me in contact with them?

Yes. Please go ahead.

This is Commander Neptune
of the spaceship Nebula-75.

We have received your distress call.
How may we be of assistance?

Please acknowledge.

There's no response, Circuit.

Transmission incoming.

Ah, good... hello,

What on Earth?

My dear chap, you're not standing!

Standing?

Of course!

One always stands for
Her Majesty's Anthem.

Oh, sorry.

That's more like it. Now, to business.
My name is Lord Menteur.

Um, Lord Menteur?

Oh, perhaps you've heard of us?

I'm travelling with my
wife, Lady Menteur,

Lady Menteur?

Is there an echo on this line?

Anyway, we've run into a spot
of bother with our, umm, engines –

so it's dash decent of you
to respond like this.

Might you be able to lend us some
assistance?

Of course, your Lordship.

It would be a privilege to help.

Good-o. See you about 3.30 then.

Enough time for introductions and then
a spot of tea before your chaps get to work.

Toodle-pip!

Sounds like 'e fell for it
hook line and sinker!

Quite. Won't be long now before
what's theirs is, err, well – mine.

Yours, Harry?

You misheard, my dear.

Ours.

Right, take me through
the itinerary, Lieutenant.

I want everything to run as smoothly
as possible for our guests today.

Yes, sir.

We're due to dock with Lord and Lady
Menteur's vessel in a matter of minutes.

They will receive you on
board their ship first,

before you formally invite them

to take residence on the Nebula-75

while we see if we can assist
them with their engine trouble.

Yes, I want Doctor Asteroid
to look at that personally.

Good luck with that, sir.

When I tried to raise him he said he
was busy with engine troubles of our own.

Oh? Anything serious?

I doubt it. But you
know how he worries.

Hmm.

Oh, leave Doctor
Asteroid to me.

I'll get him to play ball...

You've got a spring in
your step today, Lieutenant.

Do I? Probably just
seeing that planet.

Reminds me of home.

I think I'm starting to get used
to life out amongst the stars.

Sometimes it's easier to lose oneself
in the solace and routine of space travel...

right now, I'm not even sure
I even miss the Earth.

No.
Only your Space Maiden.

What was that?

Oh, err, nothing. I'd better
go and raise the cavalry.

Tally-h*!

Permission to come
aboard, dear Chap!

Thank you.

We've met, of course, but do let
me introduce you to my wife, Lady Menteur.

How kind of you to let me come.

Excuse me?

How kind of you to come aboard.

Oh, I can assure you the
pleasure is all mine.

Now, what exactly is the nature
of the problem you have?

Absolutely not the
foggiest, old bean.

Have you looked at the engines
to see where the fault might lay?

Certainly not!

One should never get under
the bonnet of one's own motor.

Takes all the mystique
out of it. Anyway,

that's what you're here for...

Hmm.

Now, whilst your navvies
attend to our problems,

perhaps one could have a
tour of your vehicle?

Umm, certainly.

Circuit, could you join me
aboard our guests' spaceship?

Affirmative.

Ah! Mechanical chappie, eh.
Splendid!

Ten a penny, of course.

Yes, yes. Shall we get going?

Of course. Circuit will
show you everything.

Everything? How marvellous.

Right, yes.

Take us to your leader!

You have reached your destination.

Err, a turn of phrase, Circuit.

Please escort our guests
on a tour of the ship.

I'll join you later.

Neptune to Asteroid. Do you read me?

Ah, Commander. I'm very busy.
You have only dreisig sekonden.

How long is that?

Funfundzwanzig.

Err, I know you're busy with
your experiment, but, err,

I was just wondering if you could
spare some time for our new guests.

They're having engine troubles.

Of course, Commander! But right
now I am in the middle of a test

that could increase our fuel
efficiency by ten percent.

So they'll have to wait.
Even in space, science first!

Huh.

I wonder if it's too late
to ask for a new crew...

That concludes the tour.
Please wait here

until Commander Neptune
comes to find you.

One thanks one for one's time.

She means thank you.

If you require anything
further, please ask.

I will find someone
else to bring it.

Yes, yes. Now do run
along little man.

I'm sure you have plenty
of things to be doing.

Yes, M'Lady.

Okay, you can drop the act,
my dear little cyanide capsule.

Thank gawd for that!

All this la-di-dah talk
is givin' me 'eartburn!

Yes, well, sorry to
inconvenience you, Sybil,

but there are industrial treasures on this
ship that will go for more space pounds

than you could ever imagine!

So for heaven's sake, keep up the act!

Don't you worry. I'll do me
bit when the time comes.

Good-o.

Then let us proceed to stage
two of our plan.

Ah, Lieutenant Solstice.

Ah, Commander Neptune.

Circuit says that the guests have
finished their tour and are awaiting you.

I see... Erm, why didn't
Circuit tell me himself?

I passed him in the corridor.

Said he was on his way to
see a man about a cog.

I'm guessing Doctor Asteroid
is still busy, then...

Okay.

I suppose we'll entertain our
guests over dinner in the meantime...

I'll get Lieutenant Mercury
to organise that,

seeing as Circuit is so busy!

Sure.

What do you make of our guests?

Oh, they're charming enough -

in a British sort of way.

Hmm -

Well, I think we should keep an
eye on them all the same.

Seven-five. Though I'm sure they
can't do much harm over dinner...

That meal! I congratulate you.

Absolutely second class!

Yes, indeed. Not what
we're used to, of course,

but when one is at sea one
has to take what one can get.

And you've definitely made
the best of a bad situation.

The conversation was
fascinating, too.

How you came to be
out here, etcetera.

Which reminds me –

how did you end up out here?

Oh, one of those auto rallies old chap.
You know what it's like.

Super competitive, what, what,

and before you know it
you've overshot Monte Carlo

by 33 million miles,
or whatever it is.

I blame that inter-universe
imperial system... yes...

Anyway, what news of our engines?

I'm afraid the Doc hasn't been
able to look at them yet. But soon...

What a pity. Oh well.

Perhaps we'll just pop back to our ship
for an hour to freshen up a little.

But do pass my compliments on to the chef.
The little people so appreciate it.

See you soon...

You should have a lay
down, Commander.

You're looking a bit fatigued.

Yes.

I must admit that I do
feel tired, suddenly.

I must have over-eaten.

Then have a little sleep.

Everything will be
different after a nap...

Shall we give it an hour and
then pop back to pick up the, erm,

valuable pieces?

I should 'ope 'alf an
hour will be enough

after the amount of sedatives
I bunged into their pavlovas!

Excellent. And the robot?

Let's just say I reckon
'e'll be missing this.

Wie späte ist es?

Oh dear. It's already late again.

And I did promise Ray that
I'd be there for dinner.

Oh well... I had better go to bed.

I'll see everyone in the morning
when I look at those engines...

Is the coast clear, my little
piece of space junk?

I reckon everyone's in
for a sound night.

Excellent. Then let's get to it.

'Ow much longer, 'Arry? We've
been back and forth all night.

Surely we've got
everything we want?

Patience my dear.
Here is the star prize...

What is it?

A 659 CMO Computer.
Worth an absolute

fortune on the black hole market!

Unauthorised system access!

Alert! Alert!

Well, don't just
stand there! Leg it!

Commander Neptune! Commander Neptune!
Are you there?

What is happening?

All aboard!

Yes, of course.
Get us out of here!

Are you sure there's no chance
of them catching up with us, 'Arry?

That's the beauty of this job.

Without that computer, they'll
be going nowhere for weeks!

Without the computer, we'll
be going nowhere for weeks.

Our systems are paralysed.
I can repair given time...

but not before the oxygen runs out.

We need to get it back urgently.
Not just for our sakes, either.

Err, How's that?

The components in the computer are
extremely volatile

and must be kept under
refrigerated conditions.

With the power removed, the
temperature will begin to rise.

Tell me, Doc -

Is it possible to build
just one component

that doesn't have a potential
of going supernova?

Well...

Err...

Well, I've got to hand
it to you, 'Arry.

That was about as smooth
a job as we've ever pulled off.

One has a message incoming.

One has a message incoming.

You must turn back!

I'm afraid you've lost, dearie.

You might as well
give up graciously,

we'll be long gone by the
time you're up and runnin'.

You don't understand!

The equipment you've
stolen is highly volatile.

It could explode at any moment!

Surely you don't expect us to fall
for such a flimsy ruse, Old Chap?

Do put some effort in,
lord knows we did!

Over and out!

Honestly! The cheek of some people.

Ze ship is out of action, but perhaps
we could take the shuttle and go after them?

The Comet?

Not fast enough by far.

The Nebula-75 has been well and
truly hoodwinked. We never saw them coming.

They did not meet Doctor Asteroid.

And a good thing, too! I'm certain
I would have seen right through their...

Wait a minute, Doc. I think Circuit
might be trying to make a point.

They would never see him coming.

What is he talking about?

Our way out of this mess.

Tell me, Doc, how are
your acting skills...?

'Ere, can you hear a noise?

What sort of noise?

A sort of bleep bleep bleep.

Oh, it's probably just one of
the little trinkets we've acquired.

I shouldn't worry your... erm...
pretty... little head about it.

One is receiving
a distress call.

Hello! what's this?

SOS.

I repeat, zis is an SOS to
any ship within range.

We require urgent assistance.

Good luck to ‘im finding someone
to help out round ‘ere.

I repeat, our vessel's engines
have malfunctioned.

My name ist Count Von Lügner
of the Lügner Empire.

Sorry, love. We're busy!

Now let's not be hasty, dear.

One always wants to help one's
fellow aristocrats and I'm sure

we can make this Count...
well, er... count.

Come in, Count Von Lügner...

One has docked.

Now to open the trap and invite
our big fat mouse inside...

Oh, another one of those robots!

Oh dankeschön. Dankeschön!

Welcome aboard, Count.

Lord and Lady Menteur at your service.

It's a pleasure to come to the rescue of
one as charming and handsome as yourself.

Thank you!

I say, here's an idea.

Why don't you make yourself comfortable
here while I, well, I don't know,

maybe, pop over and give
your engines the once over?

Oh, that can wait. You know you
have such a beautiful place here.

I would love to have a quick tour.

We're running out of
options here, Commander.

Try re-diverting remaining
power from secondary systems.

Oxygen is already down by 50%.

Do whatever you can to keep the systems
running, Lieutenant. And remember -

it's not over yet.

The last atom of oxygen in those tanks could
be the difference between life and death.

And that's the lot.

Humble I know, only fifty-six state rooms,
but one must live as one must.

The Count would like to see

what is inside that door.

That?

Oh that's just the
computer control bank.

Rather technical. Rather boring.

The Count is very

interested in computers.

Very well. Lead the way, my dear.

Blasted door. Ah...

we'll be with you
in just a moment.

Get it open!

The computer is at 23.07%

stability and falling.

Then we must get it back at once...
but be very careful!

One false move and we are toast!

I say, can you hear me out there?

Was that the airlock? Hello?

Hello! Let us out of
here at once,

we're British!

Come on, Doc.

I don't think we can
hold out much longer.

Come on! Come on!

The stability is at 3.79%, Ray.

We don't have much oxygen left!

I'm quite aware, Doc,

so perhaps you could try using...

a little less of it...

Any moment now.

All systems...

restored, Sir.

Great work, Doc. Now we'd better
set a pursuit course.

Well, I wouldn't worry about
getting there too quickly.

What do you mean?

Well, Circuit and I may have
caught the criminal bug.

I'm afraid we left that ship with a
little something extra in our pockets...

Typical! Absolutely typical!

Oh please don't start.

Start? I'll tell you what
won't start. This bloomin’ engine!

Who loses the keys to
a blooming spaceship?

Don't blame me for
your failures.

You know, my mum was
right about you.

Yes, and my mother was
right about your mum.

Ooh! Now don't you say a word
about my dear old ma!

Well, don't you blame me.

Don't you blame me!

It's your fault!

It is not my fault!
It's your fault!

It's not my fault,
it's your fault.

♫ Robot Man ♫
by Barry Gray

I'm in love with
a robot man

A very special robot man

I switch him on
each night and day

It's such a thrill to
hear him say:

- Robot.
- Baby, I love you

- Robot.
- Baby, I love you

This guy's got everything

He never gets tired or upset

He'll never go cold;
he'll never grow old

And wow, when he kisses me

I take off like a jet!

And if I take this
guy to church

He'll never leave
me in the lurch

The perfect lover I adore

To say to me forevermore:

- Robot.
- Baby, I love you

- Robot.
- Baby, I love you

Revision: Kilo

Energy unsave.
Energy unsave.

Does not comput.

Say, whats wrong, Circuit?

Nebula 75 as run out
of Solar Smacks.

Yes, new Solar Smacks are an essential
part of any space explorer's day.

And now free inside every packet,
one of these special badges.

Commander Neptune,
Dr. Asteroid, Athena,

lieutenant Mercury, Circuit.
Rusty. And the Nebula 75 logo.

Solar Smacks enhance
your energy...

and increase your power.

Collect all six badges in this
special packet of Solar Snacks.

Those tasty space
age treats give

you plenty of energy fast.
Right, commander?

Set course for more
delicious Solar Snacks.