01x08 - The Reality

[bunniefuu]

I've never seen anyone

have less fun dancing.

You look constipated.

Felix. Shut the f*ck up. Okay?

f*ck! f*ck! f*ck!

I'm not gonna lie, this plate is fire.

Whoa, whoa, what Felix?

It's not my fault. She's freaking out.

Her body's changing, hormones.

Shut the f*ck up, Felix, okay?

You look like Filipino Jared Leto.

Sorry, I'm sorry. I just

Oh, ah!

This dress looks so f*cking stupid.

I look so f*cking stupid.

I want to die, like, it's

It's okay. It's just a quinceañera dance.

Right?

Why so serious?

Mmm?

It's not the dance.

Is it because Suzy's here?

You two are basically dating.

What's there to be nervous about?

It's not Suzy.

It's your parents.

I can't, f*cking, like

dance with my own girlfriend?

Yeah, but you will.

I mean, you have to.

I know.

It's just that they were like,

"This is a really important day

and remember

that your abuela's gonna be here

and don't do any weird sh*t, mija."

It's just like, I'm the weird sh*t.

Well

We'll see, because I have a plan.

Let's do some weird sh*t, mija.

Yeah?

Okay.

Oh, bro, you are crushing it.

Thanks, dude.

Okay, be honest, how many of these buttons

do you actually press? sh*t!

- Bro! Are you serious?

- sh*t. Uh

- I'm so sorry. I didn't

- This is

Formation! Wall! Vamos!

But, what's happening?

- Go, titi! Go, titi!

- No.

Going again.

Let's get it together, people.

Todas mis nenas

Estan bailando reggaeton ♪

A todos los

Que se copian de mi flow ♪

Tengo dinero siempre me robo el show ♪

Todas mis nenas

Estan bailando reggaeton ♪

Nalgas hacia el piso ♪

Okay. No, no. Stop, stop, stop.

How many times

do I have to tell you?

Isa, I was moving my hips.

No, you're moving them in a circle,

which is this way.

What I need for you to do

is an oval shape, which is like this.

Do you see the difference?

No, I don't.

Irregardless, if you can't tell

the difference between basic shapes,

we're gonna have to find

an alternative version

because I'm not letting you

f*ck up my song.

- Okay, that's That's our song.

- Let's not get into semantics right now.

This is my reggaeton debut.

My Latin music quinceanera.

Can't you see? It's a perfect metaphor.

But doesn't it feel like a lot of sh*t?

The quince, the New Year's Eve party.

It's a lot of sh*t.

No, New Year's

is the year's birthday. It's art.

You don't get it.

And I'm not gonna argue with someone

that's living rent-free in my guest house

- for the past two weeks.

- I'm trying to look for another place.

If that's the case, I need you

to clean up after yourself

because Maria told me

about your little PB&J sandwiches,

- the little stains on my mohair couches.

- Isa?

Um, hi, I'm so, so sorry to interrupt,

darling, but we need to finish up

because Javier Luna's team is here

to prepare for his rehearsal.

Javier Luna is here? Oh, my God.

Javier Luna is here?

Yeah, we added him

to the New Year's lineup.

Apparently, he's doing

a magic trick or something

and they're gonna saw him in half.

As if he couldn't get any hotter.

What are these guys doing here?

Oh, my God, I could care less

about your little drama, to be honest.

Look! Rehearsal is over. Be better!

This is so awkward, like, right away.

Oh.

- What are you guys doing here?

- I manage Javier Luna now.

And Felix is directing

Javier's New Year's performance

and I manage Felix, as you know.

Wow, um

Okay.

Yeah, let's go. We gotta rehearse.

I know how you feel.

If he saws himself in half,

he needs another pair of legs.

- What happened to the last pair?

- He said they weren't elegant.

- Oh, f*ck.

- Yeah.

Diablo! One incredibly awkward encounter

wasn't enough for you today?

Can we talk?

Please?

Oh, gosh.

Random. I have a phone call.

Yes? Hey, Mom. How was surgery?

Were they able to save the foot?

How are you?

Guys, I f*cked up.

- I've missed you so much.

- Felix.

Right, um

f*ck you.

f*cking dumb b*tch.

- I'll slit your throat.

- Okay.

- Okay.

- Right.

Listen, I'm upstairs dancing

to this song about friendship.

And you guys walk in and I realize

that I'm doing the complete opposite

of what the song is about.

And I just wanna say that I'm sorry and

I f*cked up big time.

Okay. Is that it? Or

Well, if I'm being honest,

I I thought that I was living the dream.

Being this reggaeton star.

I thought it was my destiny, but

Reggaeton is not my destiny.

You guys are.

And I'm nothing without you two.

And that's exactly why

the song worked, because

it was real, you know?

It was the truth.

Like, you guys are my corillo

and I'm sorry that it took so long

to realize the sh*t

that I knew my whole entire life.

What are we gonna do?

Like, not forgive you now?

I'm sorry.

I know.

We accept. It's a good apology.

So will you manage me again?

Of course. I need somebody

to talk sh*t about my other client with.

Um, so, what are you gonna do about Isa?

Just gonna tell her it's over.

Just like that. She's gonna love that.

Oh, my God. Let's go.

You guys wanna get PB&J's?

Hey! There he is.

- You're 15 minutes late.

- Oh, am I? Sorry about that.

I'm in a time crunch.

I left my kid in the car.

Just kidding.

I gotta pick him up at daycare.

And you're getting a drink before?

Super classy of you.

What the f*ck do you want, Mia?

Okay, so Javier needs a little more money

for his big trick at the end.

He wants to saw himself in half,

so it's become a little pricier

- than we thought

- Absolutely not.

If he keeps this magic sh*t up,

he's gonna saw his career in half.

That's good.

I gotta write that down.

Have you got a pen?

Oscar, the contract says that I

I know what the f*cking contract says.

I wrote

Okay, I approved the contract.

If you blew your budget,

then that's just poor management.

You know, we don't pay

for clients' extracurricular activities.

Yeah. Oscar, you know that's not true.

You literally helped Abel

put out his children's book.

Okay, fine. Whatever.

I'll pay for the stupid magic performance.

Thank you.

Make sure the album is ready

for one of these release slots.

BPM can't budge on that.

You can. You do it all the time.

God damn it. Get out of my head.

There were so many

powerful statements

that I wanted to make

when I wrote "Corillo."

Um, one that really stands out to me is,

"Me fui pal calentón with my corillo."

- Calentón is slang.

- Yeah.

And it means going back

to what really matters.

This song is about my corillo.

Do you mind, uh, clearing the room

for a moment?

Yeah.

Because I need to decompress.

I got a stress migraine.

- Come on.

- Santi, what is it?

I'm doing an interview

about what inspired us for "Corillo."

Yeah, but you just stole

exactly what I told you

about why I wrote my song "Corillo."

Of course not.

I I didn't mention Puerto Rico

because I don't like

to culturally-appropriate.

- I don't think

- Isa, I can't do this anymore.

I'm sorry?

Are you breaking up with me?

Isa, what are you talking about?

We were never in a relationship anyway.

Unbelievable.

After everything that I did for you?

Isa, I've abandoned my lifelong friends

for this relationship.

I'm not doing

the New Year's performance, okay?

I'm not gonna ask

for anything else from you.

I just want my song.

I'm not gonna tell anyone about what

This agreement that we have together.

I'm just gonna leave

and you'll never see me again.

Isa, are you okay?

Isa.

Everything's fine, all right?

I promise.

Did you believe that?

Yes.

Because there's plenty more

where that came from.

Santi, why are you

cheating on me?

What the f*ck are you talking about?

Did you think I was joking when I said

I would end you if you ever crossed me?

How do you have that?

Hello! They're, like,

sh**ting a documentary on my life!

There's, like, cameras everywhere.

I warned you not to embarrass me.

But I didn't embarrass you.

That was a private moment.

Santi, please.

Wake up.

Santi, we're famous.

There are no private moments.

Look. You have two choices.

One, you go through with this breakup

and I go full Lemonade on your a*s

and I destroy you

and your little girlfriend's life,

which seems like

a pretty sad choice to me.

And then you got choice number two.

You do this New Year's debut with me.

We release our hit single,

and your great-grandchildren collect

royalties for the rest of their lives.

It seems like

a pretty easy choice, pork chop.

Ugh.

We already blew through Oscar's money

and we're still over budget.

We can have this over here now

So, I know things have been, like,

extremely weird between us since, um

You know. And, um

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for how everything went down.

You don't have to apologize to me.

I get it.

Okay.

That was easier than

when I practiced with my therapist.

I mean, I was pissed

when I found out that you lied.

I was really f*cking pissed,

but I thought about everything

that you did

and what you would've had to

go through to get here, and I mean,

your boss was Oscar

and that dude seems like a d*ck.

Thank you for saying that.

He's such a d*ck.

You had to find your own way

to make yourself feel seen

in this crazy f*cking industry.

And I get what it's like to be

the only one in the room sometimes, so

You mean the only one who's not a d*ck?

Everything I did was for you guys.

I know that now. Thank you.

And if you hadn't acted crazy

and taken those risks,

we wouldn't have all of this

- and I wouldn't be losing my mind now.

- All right.

Ah, okay, well,

you, my friend, are full of surprises,

but, no, no, we can't fire another pair.

We just can't.

Bro, how are they supposed to believe

I cut myself in half

if my legs are dancing and they look

nothing like my real legs do?

Right, right. And I hear you, bro.

That being said, we've gone through

so many wonderful pairs of legs.

Yeah, but none of these legs

have flow like mine.

But

Cabrón, figure it out.

You're the creative director, right?

Then create!

Talk to you when I talk to you.

- No.

- For God's sake

No! He said those were the legs!

He promised!

Well, he changed his mind again.

And we're totally f*cked.

The show is tomorrow and we're legless.

Legless!

Legless.

Pants off.

What do your legs look like?

We're all doing leg auditions.

- I just wanna see

- We're not the same color as him.

We're here live in Miami

for the hottest New Year's Eve party,

where global icon Isa

is set to debut her new single

with a special performance that will be

live-streamed around the world.

I can't believe I thought

she was actually starting to like me.

You told me this was gonna happen

and I didn't listen to you.

Okay, it's no fun to say, "I told you so,"

if you cop to it first.

Look, we will

figure something out.

Santi.

Come here, please.

This is my life now.

Stay strong. We'll catch you inside.

He's just so shy sometimes.

- Come on.

- I'm here.

I'm just, like, so excited.

I feel so blessed to have met Santi.

You know, "Corillo" shouldn't be

"Corillo: Featuring Santi."

It should really say

"Corillo: Because of Santi."

Isn't that right?

- Isn't that right? Mmm.

- Yes.

How, um lovely.

Great. It was so good to see you, Celeste.

Okay, um

Yo, hey, are you good?

Yeah.

Hey, look, I really try

not to judge anyone

for how they live their life

or their career,

but I gotta ask you,

as a friend, of course,

Why the f*ck are you doing this sh*t?

It's good for my career, you know?

Featuring Santi? What is that about?

It's not your song anymore?

The world is gonna think it's hers.

Listen, I know it sucks,

but I gotta do this.

No, you don't.

Actually, yes, I do, because if I don't,

Isa's gonna release this.

f*ck. What the f*ck is that?

I'm sorry.

That would ruin my entire career.

My reputation wouldn't mean sh*t, Santi.

Listen, believe it or not,

I actually listen to you when you talk.

And of course that picture's gonna

ruin me too for a second.

I mean, probably longer.

And the Isa hive,

they're just really bad people

and I can't let them screw you over

because you don't deserve that.

Wow, um

Thanks, I guess. I mean

I don't know what to say here.

Listen, uh, I'm sorry and

I'm just I'm gonna figure this out. Okay?

How?

Don't ask me that yet.

Sant

- Hey. Hey.

- Hey.

Santi, just doing

a little pre-show check-in.

Good? Everyone good? Settled in?

Hey, all of BPM really wants to thank you

for being such a team player.

You're doing the right thing.

You don't wanna f*ck with Isa.

Hey, don't worry.

Your time will come. Eventually.

Probably.

f*ck!

Why so serious, my friend?

Am I just throwing away

my career by going through with this?

You have to do this.

And we'll get through it together.

We are forever.

Right?

Whatever happens, man,

I'm there for you.

Minus right now.

I mean, right now,

I got to go direct Javi.

And Mia and Ness also have to come,

so technically you are alone

at this moment.

Listen, I I love you, bro.

You're gonna k*ll this sh*t.

If we don't go broke trying.

I am way over budget on this trick.

I told you we're fine.

We can cover the rest of it.

It's okay.

Uh, with what money?

Uh

I sold the Porsche to make up

for the overages. So, you're good.

- What? Why?

- You love that car.

Yeah, I've never loved anything

the way I love that beautiful piece

of blue German machinery.

And I sold it for a f*cking magic trick.

And that is how much

I believe in you, Felix.

Oh, my God.

This better f*cking work.

It will.

Or it won't.

It very conceivably could not work.

It likely will fail.

But either way, thank you.

All right. Um, hey.

You got this.

Suerte.

What was that voice you did?

It's Joker in Spanish.

Oh.

Ladies and gentlemen,

Javier Luna!

Come on, buddy. You can do it.

Oh!

This is pretty f*cking cool.

And for my final trick,

I'll make myself disappear.

Wow.

R with R cigar

R with R barrel. Rapidly.

We are ready for you, Isa.

Here goes nothing.

Oh!

Are y'all ready?

Oh!

Did you see that?

Great f*cking trick.

What the f*ck?

I need to admit something.

Isa and I were never together.

It was actually all bullshit.

Like, I was so lost

chasing fame and success

that I lost sight of what really matters.

And to me, it's my friends.

My corillo.

And that's why I wrote this song.

¡Formación! ¡Vamos!

Quien va a estar pa' mi

Cuando ya ♪

What is he doing?

Cuando me caiga

Quien me va a levantar ♪

Cuando todas las luces

Se apaguen en la ciudad ♪

Quien me va a llamar ♪

Yo! ♪

Me volvi co-dependiente ♪

De lo que opine la gente

Por mis inseguridades ♪

No se ven pero se siente ♪

Y si mañana sientes ♪

It's literally my song, bro.

No se preocupen

Que me fui pal calentón ♪

Con el corillo siempre la paso cabrón ♪

Soy millonario sin tener un millón ♪

Vamos a bailar esta vida

Como un reggaetón ♪

Que pa eso se hizo ♪

Si lo míos están bién

Yo mejor estoy ♪

Mil problemas pero ♪

And he forgot to do the oval! I

De aquí no me voy

Yo no me voy hoy ♪

Que ando con el coro mío ♪

Que se joda, que se joda

Eso de vivir amargao ♪

Hace rato pasó de moda ♪

Ya yo compré los trajes

Pa' mi pana pa' la boda ♪

Por si vuelvo y me enamoro ♪

Y si me rompe el cora

Ellos van a estar ahí también ♪

Well, well, well.

If it isn't my Pretty Little Liar.

Uh, Reformed Liar. I lie a little bit.

♪que me fui pal calentón ♪

Con el corillo siempre la paso cabrón ♪

Soy millonario sin tener un millón ♪

Happy New Year.

Happy New Year to you.

Que pa eso se hizo ♪

Que me fui pal calentón ♪

I feel like I hear a countdown.

What?

- I don't hear anything.

- No, I definitely hear a countdown.

Like, um Like a five, four

- Three, two

- Mmm-hmm. Two

Uh-uh.

I'm not so easy.

Okay. Maybe I'm a little easy.

Okay, so, uh

The Internet loves Santi.

Yay!

- That's nice.

- Yeah.

Uh, BPM and Isa's legal team, they

Yeah, they do not.

Boo!

Yeah.

Speak of the devil. It's Oscar.

Yo, what up, man? How's it hangin'?

To the left or to the right?

If you happen to be with Santi,

can you pass along a note?

Oh, yeah. Totes.

We're suing you for everything.

You're never gonna

work in this industry again.

By the time we're done,

you legally won't be able

to sing "Happy Birthday."

You don't f*ck with Isa or BPM.

Okay. Um, bye.

So what good is the Internet loving you

if you can never work again?

On top of that,

we owe Gina at least 400 grand.

Trying to lighten the mood.

It's not a disaster.

It's close.

Great. There's someone else

calling to yell at me about this sh*t.

- Hey, maybe you should pick up the phone.

- Actually, no.

I think you should pick up the phone.

Ness, clearly he doesn't wanna

answer the call. Just give it up.

Sometimes your persistence

comes across as bullying.

Santi, oh, my God!

Santi, dímelo.

- What?

- Oh, sh*t. DY. Daddy Yankee.

Yeah, I liked your performance.

You're bare. You hit it.

Wait, hold on. You

Wait, you watched my

So, do you have any tips or something?

I don't

No, man, it's fuego.

I love it the way it is. Organic. Cool.

Thank you,

but I don't know what's going to happen.

I don't know who's gonna

wanna work with me after this.

Come by the studio.

I got some fuego

- Para a romperlo

- No, guys, this is a deepfake.

Stop f*cking with me. Please?

- No, I have nothing to do with this.

- No. Stop. Hey.

This is real.

He likes your stuff.

- Hey.

- Hey.

Bro. You know who you're talking to

right now, bro. Come on.

I'm sorry, bro. This has just

This has been my

This has been our dream.

Yeah, we love your "Gasolina." Sincerely.

Wait, how did you get my phone number?

Man, you know. PR, baby.

No fallamos.

No fallamos!

No fallamos!

What's that mean?

It means we don't miss.

Oh, that's cool!

- Yeah!

- Let's go!

We got a song with DY!