You know...
...if you don't listen
to what he's saying,
how he says it,
is f*cking tedious.
See, do we need that
in the documentary or we don't?
But it's his craft.
That's what makes him great.
I'm just trying
to start trouble.
That's all.
You're gonna destroy me
with this stupid movie
that I let you do
that I'm resisting
because you're annoying.
So, like, what's gonna happen
is by the end of this,
you're gonna hate me,
you're gonna be like, "f*ck him.
I'm gonna post
all this nasty sh*t he said
about everybody on YouTube,
or on my personal Vimeo."
Anyone doing drugs
in the '80s anymore?
Okay. I'll hang out
with you guys later.
Here we have Marc.
I met Marc in the early '80s.
That's, uh, that's me,
of course.
And I was one
of a handful of people,
there weren't many,
uh, who could tolerate him.
Oh, God. What?
It's not that sick. Is it?
Marc is his own worst enemy,
which is why we enjoy him
because he also
acknowledges that.
For 15 years of my life,
I used to smoke,
I used to drink, I did drugs.
I used to eat lard
right out of a can occasionally.
Please welcome
the very funny Marc Maron.
He's probably underrated,
to be honest.
But he's not an arena act.
Imagine an arena
full of people,
you're just like, "Good night."
Oh.
Good morning.
Marc's having a bad time
all day.
Then gets on stage
and completely owns
the audience.
I'm a 51-year-old man,
twice divorced,
I have no children,
and I live with two cats.
And it's f*cking amazing.
Talk about the podcast,
it's like a thing.
Well, it's much like this show,
only a much smaller production
that takes place in my garage.
It was born out of complete
desperation and failure.
Here, I, uh, had these
fortune cookies
left over, let's open them.
I got "Good things
are coming to you
- in due course of time."
- That's great.
Yeah. It's taking a while.
When he started WTF,
I think he was pretty broke.
It didn't seem like any--
it just seemed
like a waste of time.
Then the president
was in my garage.
- What did you wear?
- Just a plaid shirt.
- That sounds right.
- Yeah.
Apparently,
he's very successful.
But when he talks about being
an actor, I'm like, "What?"
Luckily, I've never seen
anything that he's been on.
Come on!
What do you got?
What do you got?
Lock the gates
on these f*ck!
I just thought
it'd be good for my act.
For your act? Didn't you hear
what happened on the subway?
- Some clown got k*lled.
- What is it like
when you have someone tell you,
"I wrote a role just for you"?
Uh, that it might be
not that challenging.
Sounds perfect.
Lynn Shelton
and Marc Maron, let's hear it.
I can't take myself
And you and me
My love
And you...
How are you? Are you guys okay?
Do you have enough toilet paper?
Do you have enough food?
Are you self-quarantined?
Probably gonna be shut down
another three months.
Nothing's ever gonna be back
to normal again.
There's not gonna be any
live shows for probably a year.
Lynn figured out how
to, um, freeze leafy vegetables
for the long haul.
I can't take myself
Um...
it's been a rough few days, man.
The girlfriend's been ill,
cat's not doing great.
But we're getting it done,
taking care of it.
Okay. Hey, it's Marc.
I imagine most of you know
that, uh,
that Lynn Shelton died,
um, Saturday morning.
She was my partner,
she was my friend,
and I loved her.
And she loved me,
and I knew that.
And I don't know
that I'd ever felt
what I felt with her before.
I do know, actually,
I did not, I have not.
I was definitely
a better person
when I was... engaged with her.
I was better
in Lynn Shelton's gaze.
Oh. I'm just like having
a hard time figuring it out.
I forgot how to do this.
This is the thing
I forgot how to do?
Come on, man. Come on, dude.
I mean, what the f*ck did it?
Like, I'm so f*cking sick
of this sh*t.
I mean,
how does this happen now?
Does this happen to everybody?
Sure, sure. Okay.
Maybe it does. Maybe it does.
Crapos.
Come on.
This piece of sh*t.
Boom.
f*ck this.
Now I'm all sweaty.
What am I gonna do
out there?
What's the plan?
Hey, if we hit one shitty one,
what we gonna do? Who cares.
- It doesn't matter.
- Do you know?
Better off, right?
Better off to tank it?
Please welcome
to the stage, Marc Maron!
You know, within a month
of being here in the pandemic,
I'm like, "Uh, maybe
I don't need to do stand-up
anymore because I don't
f*cking miss it."
And that was followed
by the thought of like,
"I think I'm all better."
So, like...
I don't know.
Like, I really don't know--
Like, I feel, like, challenged
to, you know, discuss,
you know, grief somehow
because I've been dealing
with it
and it's difficult, you know?
I lost, uh, a person I loved
at the beginning
of the pandemic.
Uh, you know, three months in,
she got a, you know,
weird blood disease
that no one knew about,
so like at least she was,
you know, an original.
I don't know how to talk about
some of this stuff
that I went through.
I don't even know
if it's appropriate to do it,
but I'm okay.
Mm.
You know,
uh, the weird thing is,
when somebody you love dies,
you know, it's horrible.
But what's really going on
is like, "I'm gonna die."
So, you know,
that's how it goes.
Right?
Um, where am I going
with all this?
Yeah. I-- you know, look.
You know, uh,
I know a lot of you,
uh, have been here for me
and supported me,
and I-- and I appreciate it.
And I-- and I do think
I've gotten
a little hard around it,
you know, as this thing evolves
and I can find, uh,
some form of, uh, courage
to discuss it in a thorough way.
Um, may-- maybe
it'll help people.
But I don't know
how to do that quite yet,
so I'm just, uh,
going for the laughs.
What?
Did you call me?
Whoa.
I had a dream, man. I had--
Lynn came to me
in a dream last night.
It was always--
it's always good to see her.
She's like kind of half laughing
and I just, I grabbed her cheeks
and I held her face
right up to mine,
and I said, "I miss you."
And she said, uh--
she walked away
towards that door in the kitchen
and she said, um...
and she said,
"It's real. It's real."
Anyway...
Do some music for the thing.
All right. Let's do this. Hmm.
How are you, What The f*ck,
What The f*ck Buddies,
What The f*ck?
What's happening?
I'm Marc Maron,
this is my podcast.
Again, thank you
for all the positive feedback
for, uh,
our canceled comedy episode.
These anti-woke guys and gals
are just f*cking hacks.
Now if they can't get work
or they can't get over
on a crowd,
it's because "it's just
too controversial," you know?
"Hey, man, I'm not getting work
because of what I have to say."
No, probably not.
Maybe you're just
not f*cking funny.
You're not thinking
your own thoughts,
you're a hack.
With an excuse
for why you're failing.
Anyway, how's everybody?
Are you struggling with grief,
relationships, stress,
or having trouble sleeping?
WTF is sponsored
by Better Help.
This is Amazon's
first free hands-free TV
with all your favorite free TV
and Alexa-- mm, c**t.
- What's the matter?
- Huh?
What's the matter?
Nothing. I'm just thinking.
Now let's talk to the lovely,
uh, Lynn Shelton,
film director.
I sh**t movies
in seven-and-a-half,
- ten days.
- I like your movies.
- Do ya?
- I do.
I was hoping you might.
I met Lynn because,
you know, I knew
she had done movies,
I knew that my ex-wife was
working with her.
I just booked her on WTF.
And when we met,
it was kind of--
you know,
we got along right away.
In Seattle, there's this
great filmmaking community.
Seattle's where I live,
and there are a bunch
of filmmakers.
And all-- you know, the crew
that have crewed my films
and all the other filmmakers,
those were my buds,
like those were
everybody that...
I hang out with
and I loved that.
You never lived
down here?
- No.
- Huh.
She was just starting
to sort of takeoff, you know.
I mean, she did a lot
of independent movies
and she was very capable,
and she just started
to direct big-level television.
Here's the thing
I love about television.
It keeps me on the set, that--
like, I love being on set.
- Yeah.
- I love directing.
- I love directing actors.
- You do?
I live for it. That--
I-- it's my favorite thing.
When I was
on a show called Casual,
Lynn came on to direct episodes.
And from that point,
the friendship hatched.
She, you know,
was unlike any director
at that point
in terms of her sensitivity
towards women,
women in their 40s.
It was so different
from any other--
most directors I had worked with
at that point.
It was late in life.
I was 39
- when I made my first feature.
- Uh-huh.
And so,
I sort of self-actualized
- quite late in life and--
- Me too.
Late bloomers unite.
I love it.
- Marc?
- Yeah?
- Thank you so much.
- Thank you.
Thank you so much
for letting me do this
and for crying.
Well,
I'm at a weird point in--
I don't know
what's going on with me.
- It's not hard to make me cry.
- Oh, yeah.
- Well, I'm the same way.
- Um, good talking to you.
It was really great
talking to you, Marc.
You know,
I was very kind of like,
right away,
very taken with Lynn,
but, you know, it was not,
you know, in the cards
for a few years.
What are you doing, bud?
Come on. Come here, Sam.
And-- oh, no, no, no, no.
Don't chew the mic wire, stupid.
He just loves wires. Okay, okay.
It's all about you.
I did comedy last night
for the first time
in over a year.
And it felt fine.
It was like,
"Oh, this part of me is back."
"This part of me is home."
I wouldn't say
it was a great set,
but I think it didn't matter.
Anybody's expectations...
Nothing f*cking matters
right now.
- What's up, pally?
- How's it going, Marc?
- I'm okay. You?
- Eh, same old sh*t.
- Yeah?
- Good.
- You all right?
- Yup.
Long f*cking day.
Every day is a long day now.
The pandemic completely f*cked
my sense of time up.
I still don't know
what day it is
or what I'm supposed
to be doing.
The only way I know now
is because I have sets
-coming this week.
-Right, exactly. Exactly.
I feel like I got
a couple of jokes
- that are happening.
- Whoa.
The f*cking thing
about jokes, like joke jokes,
it's like
once you make 'em work,
it's like
they're kind of done for me.
- Yeah.
- I like, you know,
the long-form rambly bullshit.
Look, you guys, I'm just trying
to be entertaining,
but there's-- you know,
things aren't okay.
We're all
sitting here pretending.
We're f*cked. It's so f*cked.
We're like-- it's like--
it's-- the plague
wasn't back in the day.
It was like two weeks ago.
Two f*cking weeks ago
and we're like,
"We're back, we're back."
No, we're not,
this is a reprieve.
If you live here, you know,
like, this entire state's
gonna be on fire in two weeks.
Did you have this day
where you're like,
"How do you make
hand sanitizer?"
"How do you make it?"
"They're running out
of it everywhere."
"What is it?
Like lotion and alcohol?"
If you really think
about it in your heart,
like, you know-- Stop it,
drunkie, stop talking.
- If you really think about it--
- Thank you.
Oh, yeah, look at the as*h*le
talking to her is applauding.
Yeah, we know
who you are, f*ck.
What, you think
I've been doing this, like,
started last week?
Shut the f*ck up.
I'm serious. You see me?
I'm serious. Shut up.
There's a whole show
ahead of us.
You wanna stay
for the show? Okay.
Whoo!
But let's not end on that.
Let's end on something upbeat.
There's reasons
not to have children.
I was happy that I still had it
in me to be like,
"No, I'm serious.
Shut the f*ck up."
They're so used to watching
Zooms where they can talk and...
No, they're not.
It's the same stupid sh*t
that's been going on
since we started.
It doesn't--It's got nothing
to do with Zoom.
These are just the drunk,
dumb idiots.
I love you, Marc.
I've seen you so many times.
It's great seeing you.
Did you like
getting yelled at by me?
I did.
I f*cking love it.
Oh, good.
Well, thanks for coming.
You're welcome.
I'm talking to my friends.
We're having a good time.
Okay, just be careful
with the other people.
- You're right.
- Okay.
How many times
did it happen to you
where they're like,
"Oh, it was so good."
Now I feel like an as*h*le
for losing my sh*t,
'cause I-- she made me go...
"f*ck you."
Right? 'Cause I wanted her
to shut up.
And then she's all nice
and drunk. And I'm like...
- She loves you.
- ..."I'm the as*h*le."
And she's my biggest fan.
I knew this guy
when I was in college.
He used to do a bit.
Jackie Diamond.
Like this-- like an old
showbiz lounge act.
I think he became
an Orthodox Jew.
This guy used
to paint the place.
He used to do handiwork
for Mitzi.
They're just--
they're gonna leave
the D'Elia pic up?
This is Jeff
when he was attractive.
He used to look
like a normal f*cking person,
now he looks like
a g*dd*mn alien.
A lot of these people
are around.
And a lot of them are dead now.
It's wild.
I always wanted to be
a comic since I was a kid.
You know,
I grew up in Albuquerque,
raised by emotionally erratic,
panicky parents.
Went to college in Boston.
Did some stand-up in Boston.
And after I graduated college,
I went to LA.
I got a job as a doorman
at The Comedy Store,
and I basically lived
at the place.
You'd see Damon Wayans,
Jan Hart,
Cathy Ladman,
Louie Anderson was here.
And then I met Kinison.
He's gonna see
some action, goddammit.
Put a helmet on him!
Sam was a powerful presence.
I wouldn't say all good,
I would say mostly bad.
I kind of got sucked
into some sort of weird
cocaine initiation process.
And I thought I was pretty good
at doing coke,
but I did my graduate studies
with Sam.
It's a long story,
but Sam peed on my bed
because he was mad.
There was a Satanist involved.
Now I had no friends.
And then
the drug dealer pulled up,
and I'm like, "I don't know
what to do, man."
"I got kicked out
of the group." And he was like,
"Well, yeah, you got
to get out of here, man."
And when the drug dealer
tells you to leave,
it's-- you know,
it's time to go.
See, the way
I'm picturing this documentary
is clearly a little different
than you.
I-- it just seems like
there's plenty of footage...
It's just like, you know,
you start to load up
with animation
on top of everything
you already have
in terms of footage.
It's just,
it's like you overpack it.
It just looks stupid.
Like what, you're gonna animate
the Kinison story?
Like, what parts
are you thinking about?
That would have been one, yes.
Oh, God, just the even thought
of that being animated
- is ridiculous.
- I know.
I've noticed that somehow
you're kind of transitioning
into something
that isn't fundamentally,
you know, club work.
Right.
A hundred percent. Yeah.
And there is sort of this point
where either
you have more to say
or you want to speak
to something,
you know, personal in a way
that you feel supported
by your audience.
The goal was always
to find your own audience
so you could be
your most authentic self.
Yeah. But, like,
I still force myself to go out
- and do regular club comedy.
- No, I know that. And--
And I-- and I don't
always know why
but I still got
some kind of weird, dumb,
you know, old-school
working-class comic disposition
where it's sort of like
you gotta be able to go up
in front of any audience
and do the f*cking job.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
I think that's also part
of the challenge for me.
It's like, "Can I just do it
with these people
that don't really know me
necessarily?"
"And bring them
to this human place
to have this experience of humor
in a deeper way?"
- I didn't even know that.
- The south club's open.
Anything goes down south.
But, uh, yeah, this rules, man.
Opening night back.
-Brand-new staff.
-f*cking A.
I've heard
they're mostly incompetent.
...your host on stage,
Sam Tallent.
It's gonna suck.
You know,
I'm doing this to myself
like I always do to myself.
Some sort of stupid,
self-flagellating
training procedure
that I've gone through
my entire life.
f*ck me, dude.
What am I trying
to do to myself?
Working this sh*t out
in these places.
Wow.
This guy's
like handing me my a*s,
relatively on purpose.
You guys probably
have heard of him, right?
This guy means so much
to so many comedians.
He was the, uh, the inner voice
that we heard
for so long coming up,
and it's an honor
to work with him.
Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome to the stage,
Marc Maron.
Thank you. Thank you
so much for coming out.
I feel like, uh,
I need to un-pump you.
You know, I've been
delicately working
on my sad f*cking act...
...for a few--
couple months now,
and then I'm walking out
into a cloud of sh*t
and butt-f*cking.
I work like this.
There's an urgency to it.
There are post-- you know,
Post-its involved.
Like, the bigger writing
is me going like,
"f*ck, f*ck,
I gotta write that down."
Now, for some reason, I wrote
"gaslighting parenting."
We were gaslit
from the beginning.
And let's ease up on the word--
the phrase gaslighting, okay?
Ladies, let's ease up.
Sometimes we're just lying
to save our a*s.
I don't think it's gaslighting.
And look,
you can love two people.
So, um...
It doesn't end well.
You know, I can--
I can only keep it going
for so long.
So, whatever
you're trying to do,
you know what I mean?
One hates me
and the other's dead.
Didn't work out.
Didn't work out. So...
Too much?
It was too soon for you
to hear about me
talking about
my dead girlfriend.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm trying to deal with it, man.
I'll be honest with you.
It's a f*cking nightmare.
It's horrible, grief,
and there's no right
or wrong way to do it.
And you know what?
Nobody can give you
any f*cking advice either.
You just f*cking deal with it.
Like, you know,
you just deal with it.
You know, you just let
the feelings happen.
Someone--
people try to be helpful.
Someone said,
"Well, you know, her--
you know, they--
the-- their energy
doesn't leave the earth.
Like they're dead,
but they're still here
energy-wise."
I'm like, "Not the shape
I'm used to."
You know, like, I mean,
I appreciate the poetry of that,
but I-- I'd rather
she'd be the whole person.
As just random energy,
I can't bring it together.
But then you start doing
weird things like, you know,
there's the-- I don't know
if it's a common thing,
but you do the--
like I was on my porch once
and I'm like, "Ah, it's a bird.
It's-- she's in the bird."
"She's a bird."
And I see a hummingbird.
I'd be like, "Lynn. Hi, Lynn."
And then the next day
there's like four birds.
I'm, like,
"Wait, which one is Lynn?"
"Is Lynn bringing
all her dead friends here?"
"What's happening?"
"I gotta-- I gotta put
some more sugar water
in the dead people feeder."
Thanks a lot, you guys.
Keep it going for Sam.
I appreciate...
Figuring out a way
to make something funny
feels like the emotion
isn't a waste,
that you aren't just being
pummeled by this grief.
It's a way to at least
make this feeling feel useful
instead of just devastating.
I'll take off the table
that audiences
can't deal with it.
I think that was a subject
and that was an event
in his life
that I was more like--
it's rare I feel this way,
but I thought, you know,
uh, "We're all here.
Your audience and--
is totally along for the ride
if you wanna go there,
but it's just so sad."
I-- you got the--
you just got the sense, like,
Marc really liked her.
I mean, loved her,
but also really liked her,
just liked being around her.
So let me ask you,
like, as somebody
who has dealt
with similar stuff,
what was the arc
of your grief around Michelle?
It was-- it was
very odd for me to see you.
I knew what
you were going through,
and I knew
part of this healing process
is to now, he's gotta be
by himself for a while.
- Yeah, yeah.
- And I was like,
"Maybe comedy isn't what
I should be doing right now."
"Because, like, if I go
on stage, my wife has died,
is that disgusting
that I'm still doing jokes?"
Or, like, I didn't know if
I would ever do comedy again.
- Well, that's--
- It will-- really--
did you ever go through that,
like, "Well,
I guess I'm done doing that?"
Well I-- what I go through
and I talk about on stage,
that feeling of, you know,
you just want to--
- you wanna be relieved.
- Yes.
Because you get--
when you're in it,
you can't really see
that it's gonna go away,
but you can see-- you know,
the one sort of realization
you have is like,
"There's nothing unusual
about this."
"It's just--
it's just my f*cking turn."
But, you know, it's just
really dealing with,
you know,
"When do I write a joke?"
- "When does the funny happen?"
- Yeah. Exactly.
Check one, two, three.
Hey, hey, hey.
All right. So this is a--
I-- g*dd*mn this thing.
The thing we love
about Marc
and the thing
that we love about the first
15 minutes of WTF
is that he sort of, like,
is going through his journey
and showing you
how these are all the ways
in which I f*cked up
in the last ten days.
And I think
that's really helpful
for a lot of us who feel
like we're always f*cking up
but don't--
but feel like we're alone.
You cannot call yourself
a true fan of Maron
unless you listen
to the first ten to 15 minutes
of him being like...
Now I'm not unhappy
I don't have kids.
I'm just too selfish
and anxious and panicky.
I just am. I never had them.
And I couldn't make marriages
work for whatever reason.
And I come up at the end
of it at 59 years old
with, you know, a string
of some good relationships,
some bad, some I screwed up,
some we screwed up together,
some they screwed up.
It's like-- it's a mixed bag,
but it's a life of that.
And I'm tired.
And I obviously do not know
how to do it--
do it correctly.
And now I'm old.
So what happens now?
All right.
How did I lose
a pair of glasses?
It doesn't add up.
Did you throw them somewhere?
Who cares?
Cage The Elephant,
what are they?
This is another one.
I don't care about The Who.
This guy sent me 20 records.
You're like,
"What am I gonna do with that?"
Okay.
Head rush.
I guess I should go
on a sugar detox.
But some part of me
is sort of like,
what's the point, man?
Let's just end this already.
Like, you know,
eat what you want.
Have a heart attack already.
And then one day you're like,
"But I don't really want
to have a heart attack."
"There's so much to live for."
Is there? Make me a list.
-How's it going?
-Good. How are you?
-I'm all right.
-Yeah?
-This is, uh, the crew.
-Crew.
This is Jordan, I'm Steve.
- How's it going?
- How's it going?
Good to see you.
What are you guys
documenting?
- Me.
- Yeah, for what though?
It's just an ongoing nightmare.
Where'd you get
all the Maiden records, dude?
- One guy?
- One guy, yeah.
He was done?
Oh, I think I need 20--
I think I need this Rush record.
Oh, yeah, that's a classic.
Don't tell anybody.
In LA, you know,
I eventually,
uh, cocaine-d myself
into a psychotic state
and I was living in kind of
a mystical conspiracy
of what Hollywood
was manifesting in my mind.
Go.
But I was in trouble.
So I kind of got in my car
with all the voices in my head.
I just drove home.
I told my parents
I'm f*cked up,
and I did check in
to a drug rehab program
for the first time.
Getting up,
getting the things going,
having some coffee,
having some cigarettes,
getting the lungs working,
getting pulmonary system
working.
There's a way to do this.
You see, some people think
it's fitness,
but I know what it is.
You drink three cups of coffee,
have a couple of cigarettes,
then you feel good. I mean...
I hung out for the summer.
Marc's gonna light
another cigarette here.
I got sober
for the first time.
I've been here
a couple days already,
and I think I'm going out
of my f*cking mind.
My relationship with my dad
was always difficult.
There was always sort
of a dynamic
where I wanted,
you know, his approval
and I wanted to make him
laugh and stuff,
but ultimately, you know,
he was not that present
and, you know, he was volatile.
So after a few months
in New Mexico after rehab,
I just went back to Boston,
got a job at a coffee shop
and started
my comedy career over again.
You know the m*rder rate
and the suicide rate
both go up over Christmas?
I think I figured out why.
You know, sometimes
you just don't know
what to get everyone
and you get a little crazy,
maybe a little frustrated.
I guess it's just a viable
alternative for some people.
It's like, "Mom, Dad,
I didn't know what to get you."
"But thanks for the g*n."
And then I was in
the Comedy Riot competition.
Put your hands together
for contestant number one,
Mike-- I blew it, Marc Maron.
Please forgive me, Marc.
Marc Maron.
Just say no to drugs.
If you drink and drive,
you get just short
of the electric chair.
If you have sex, you can die.
You can't smoke
in most public places anymore.
Self-destruction is not
what it used to be, folks.
And I came in
second in 1988
and that's when I really
started working as a comic.
Doing one-nighters, you know,
doing half-hour spots
in bars and grills
and discos and bowling alleys.
You know,
in '89 I moved to New York
and helped start
the alternative comedy scene.
Back down from Mars
With an armful...
Something very different
is going on these days
in New York
on the comedy circuit.
It's called alternative comedy.
On Monday nights, the Luna
Lounge is the place to be.
Luna showcases
some of the brightest
comedic talent working today.
You'll also find Marc Maron,
an edgy comic
who bears his soul.
What are you laughing at?
I don't know if he intends
for it to be this way,
but he's really
talking at you, you know?
Marc was one of the few people
who had a foot in each scene.
There was alternative comedy,
that, you know,
had a different approach.
And then the older school,
comedy club,
you know, quick delivery.
Just joke, joke, joke, joke.
Marc was one of those guys
who could ride both camps.
Got an agent
and a manager.
I hosted a TV show.
That was the beginning
of real show business.
Hello. I am Marc Maron
and this is Short Attention
Span Theater
coming to you from the vault
in the basement
of Comedy Central.
In 1995,
I did an HBO half-hour.
We're in the Fillmore.
This is the Fillmore.
Can you believe that?
This is like the grand temple
of hallucinogenic partying.
Certainly in the mid-90s,
I was doing coke
pretty regularly.
And at that time,
it was kind of a life-or-death
situation really.
I guess this sh*t's taken off.
Because when I saw them,
I'm like,
who the f*ck's gonna buy water,
you know, called Liquid Death?
But it shows you what I know.
Whoa,
what are you doing, Sam?
What are you doing?
- He's trying to get out?
- There's a bug.
Was it a bug?
It's good that he has cats.
You know, I mean he's like 70
or something with cats.
Sam, come on in.
Sammy. What are you doing?
You're glad
that someone's there,
'cause he runs
everybody else off, so...
Come here, come here, come here.
You're all right.
Sam. Oh, my God.
Come on.
He kind of really talks
to them like they're roommates
that are annoying him
at the time.
And I think
that shows more respect in a--
in a certain way, you know,
that he's cohabitating
with these other mammals.
And, you know,
he expects something from them.
And, uh, you know, there's--
there needs to be
this mutual understanding.
And as long as that's working,
everything's fine.
Charlie? Charlie?
Charlie, what are you doing?
Do we have to play
on the stairs?
Hey, hey.
I've had many cats
over the years,
and I always complain
about how like, why do I always
get these weird, tweaky cats?
Why are they all nervous
and f*cked up?
I-- it took me years
to realize it was me,
'cause I don't talk
to cats right.
I'm like, "What's going on?"
And the cats are like,
"What are you talking about?"
"We're okay."
"Where you at?
What-- what's the problem?"
"Come on, what are we doing?"
"Why is he-- why is he--
what does he want?"
Who do I ask to, uh,
try to order prescription food
of a certain kind?
Okay. So Burbank or Pasadena.
Petco in Burbank.
Hey, buddy. Can you check
and see if you have
a prescription food for me?
Sure,
what was the prescription?
It's for--
I like the Royal Canin Renal,
D as in David, for cats.
Yeah, we've got
maybe like 25, 30 of them.
Oh, yeah, will you-- will you--
will you put them aside for me?
I'll come get them.
Unfortunately, we can't
put the prescription on hold.
No sh*t.
- All right, I'm coming, man.
- It's in high demand.
- All right. Thanks, buddy.
- Okay. No worries.
- Bye.
- Yep.
m*therf*cker.
Maybe if I drop my name--
if he knew who I was.
This is Marc Maron.
My cat is dying.
Look at this, it's so pretty,
the palm trees
and the garbage cans.
Yeah, so,
Godspeed through your day
if you believe
in that kind of stuff.
I just feel like
I'm gonna lose my connection.
Not just to you.
Not just to the phone.
To all of it.
Oh, my God,
you actually did.
I thought you were joking.
It's weird.
When you get old,
even if your weight is good,
your body's a different shape
than it used to be.
It's all right.
Too much information? All right.
No one's listening?
Doesn't matter.
Good evening, Montreal.
How are you feeling?
It's Saturday night.
We're gonna get up.
We're gonna party.
Let's bring Marc Maron
the cheer.
Are you ready, Montreal
Just For Laughs?
Have a great show. Let's go.
Oh, that's very nice.
Look, I'm happy to be up here.
I swear to you, I'm moving here.
And I'm not
even trying to pander.
I'm not trying to kiss your a*s.
I'm applying for a permanent
residency, you know?
And, uh, yeah, yeah.
Where's my camera?
Right here. Excuse me.
Is there any way
we can accelerate
the application process?
Look at me. I'll bring
a lot to this country.
I wore this.
Let me tell you,
I come-- I mean,
if there's anybody
in the office that processes
those applications,
I'm willing to do this.
I don't know.
I have a lot
going on in my head.
How long does this go on for?
- But...
- The documentary or...
No, just like...
my stand-up.
I don't have any other big plan.
Like, I'm just doing it
'cause, like,
it's what I do, you know?
That's the one thing I realized,
like, when I was sitting
with Hader and Mulaney
and Conan and stuff like--
I'm not playing
in that league, dude.
They seem savvy
to the business in a way
that I'm still somehow not.
But like,
what difference does it make?
What am I gunning for?
He said the other day,
he's like,
"I don't know,
we don't-- who said that
we have to do this forever?"
And I was like, "We do."
"We all do. We all--
if you're a real comedian,
you have to do it forever."
There's no retiring.
He's like The Who.
Didn't they have like
11 last tours ever?
That's what he called
his last tour?
What an exhausting thing.
What, is he gonna get a boat
and sail around Corsica
or some sh*t?
As if he's gonna move
to Vancouver
and just be Marc Maron.
This insane idea.
I don't know
where f*cking anything is.
So you wanted pictures
of when I got back from LA?
Me and Dave Cross.
That's me in Queens.
This is some weird f*cking shot
from just post-LA.
Uh, f*ck.
How you feeling?
- Huh?
- How you feeling?
Like I've had enough
of this sh*t.
What do you mean
how am I feeling?
It's like never-ending.
I'm f*cking floundering
in insecurity
and fear right now.
"Marc, what's wrong with you?"
I was in an unhappy marriage.
I was kind of doing coke
a few times a week.
Drinking, I always smoked weed.
I did burn bridges, certainly.
I'd sort of gotten very bitter
and kind of surrendered
to my lot in life.
It was starting to k*ll me.
I was done.
I was done with being married.
I was done with drugs.
Everyone's got demons, you know?
I realized
that I had all of them.
And, uh...
And they were tired, my demons.
A little tired.
I mean, there used to be
that one that would come out
and be like, "Whoo! Ow."
"Let's go get an eight ball,
some booze, and some p*ssy."
"Come on!"
About a year ago,
that guy comes out
and he's like, "Whoo."
"How about some ice cream?"
"And a porno, that'd be good."
I got sober
in 1999 for the last time.
I left my first wife.
I had an affair with a woman
who helped me get sober,
and I fell in love with her.
And she became my second wife.
She had got me into AA
and kept me focused.
I was very depressed
and very broke.
Marc, the-- I wanna ask you
about your personal life.
The first time that you
used to come on the show...
-Yeah.
-...you had just gotten married.
- Oh, yeah.
- What happened?
-Did it work out?
-Well, it-- Well, no, it didn't.
Um, getting married,
it's sort of like seeing
a beautiful wild animal
just right over there.
Just like,
"Oh, my God, look at it."
"It's perfect, it's beautiful."
"Give me the g*n."
My wife, uh, left me,
it got very ugly,
and it cost me a lot of money.
And I wasn't getting
enough comedy work.
I couldn't draw,
no matter
how many Conans I did.
Professionally, I was nowhere.
Got ten seconds.
Who's coming out of the music?
You do.
Air America was this
radio network counterpoint
to the right-wing talk radio
in like 2004.
I got brought in.
I really learned
how to be on this type of mic.
But it wasn't successful.
There were a lot of problems.
Welcome to Breakroom Live.
I'm Marc Maron.
I'm jacked on coffee
and nicotine gum.
And I'm Sam Seder
and I have to deal with it.
In those days, he was having
a tough go of it.
Marc was professionally jealous
of a lot of people.
We would just sit
right next to each other
and I would be
talking about a story
and you could just
hear him go...
And I was devastated
from a divorce.
I was emotionally drained.
I didn't really have a future,
that I could see, as a comic,
and that was part
of the beginning
of the podcast.
When Marc came to me,
we were getting fired
from Air America.
He felt like comedy was a career
that had maybe passed him by.
And so he came to me and said,
"Uh, what do you think
about doing a podcast?"
He was like,
"Do you know what this is?"
Can we do that?"
And it was just a no-brainer.
Like, "Yeah, I will-- let's
do it. Let's get it going."
We were still at Air America.
My producer,
Brendan McDonald, and I,
we used to have
to basically break in.
We knew the night tech.
Sometimes we'd bring guests
up the freight elevator.
Early on, WTF really
sort of served as a way
for me to actively make amends
with a lot of people
I thought I had,
you know, not wronged as much,
just been a d*ck to.
And that's how I developed
my style of interviewing.
Lock the gates!
The only thing negative
I ever said about you, ever,
"He's an empty vessel
full of fuel."
And people would say,
"Hey, do you ever bump
into Marc?" And I'd go,
"That guy is like
an ominous demon."
Why are you taking the other
side of everything I say?
-I'm not. I'm just saying that--
-You are.
You're done?
We were having
a good conversation.
Oh, come on, Gallagher.
- Yeah.
- Don't you play, Tele?
The whole metaphor
of the garage
is like you're coming to--
entering in my space,
you have to do it my way.
So you can't
just promote your movie,
you have to have
a real conversation with me.
From the start,
the show has been,
this is the audio diary
of one man.
When that pays off with a guest
relating to him on that level,
that's the kind of magic
of the show.
- I was not easygoing.
- From 4th grade
- till when?
- Not an easy--
Till like now.
I mean, I'm not an easy going--
Me neither.
When we started the podcast,
there was no real podcasts.
I mean,
there were podcasts around
but it was not a viable thing.
We were just ahead of the curve
and my cosmic timing was good.
There were a lot
of high-profile celebrities
who were kinda making
their way to Highland Park,
not even knowing
what they were doing,
'cause no one knew
what the podcasts were.
But they were coming.
Do you think
this is the best work
you're doing
of your life right now?
That's kinda difficult,
you know,
'cause I was in The Beatles.
I don't know
where it comes from.
I don't know
where the jokes come from.
I don't know how I stand up
there and get the laughs.
Yeah, but, you know-- but it's
a weird thing of when it--
when it comes from that place
you don't know.
When you find a new thing,
isn't it a bit like--
it's like a high
and like an endorphin
"what the f*ck" moment?
Try not to freak out.
I feel a little hazy
in the mind
because the President
of the United States
is on the show today.
I was panicking all morning.
You know, I don't imagine
you were flying in here
on the chopper thinking, like,
"You know, I--
I'm nervous about Marc."
- No, I wasn't.
- Okay. Well, that's good.
- That makes--
- 'Cause that would be
- a problem...
- It would be a problem.
...if the president
was feeling stressed about...
- Coming to my garage.
- ...coming to your garage.
Is that-- are we good?
We're good?
- That was fun.
- I appreciate it,
Mr. President. It was great.
All right, man.
This thing was blowing up.
And then, you know,
look, I'm partially
responsible for unleashing this
on the world.
Isn't it great that,
you know, we've all been able
to live our dreams as, you know,
mediocre radio personalities
on our own terms?
So like I've been making
-fun of you guys.
-Yeah.
It's like a human centipede
in Austin.
It's like Elon Musk, Joe Rogan,
and three middle acts, you know?
So--
But you seem to do
your own thing.
Yeah. Well, yeah,
I mean, we have our own,
-you know, our own--
-See, people are gonna see that
and go like, "Look at Maron.
He's bitter."
It's like,
why wouldn't I be? Why?
A hundred million dollars
for going, "I don't know."
"Really?"
I don't know, man.
I'm feeling like insecure
and aggravated,
you know, for some reason.
Like two days ago,
I'm on f*cking Tom Segura's
podcast and I'm like,
"I'm gonna take
a few shots at Rogan."
"Why not?" Right in his
f*cking yard basically.
And-- no.
You know, you're all clapping,
but now I gotta deal
with f*cking a week
of trolling bullshit
of people completely destroying
my entire sense of self.
Be called a b*tch man, a whiny,
bitter, dried up, irrelevant...
Their idea is like
you're just jealous.
I'm like,
"I wouldn't know what to do
with a hundred million dollars
or the responsibility
of having an army
of f*cking meatheads..."
"...and then trying
to tell them what to do."
Like these f*cking like weird
army of tattooed man babies.
Just broken men--
broken men that have mutated
in the human knots of muscle.
I am not that kind
of broken man.
I'm a different kind.
You have to be able to do more
than just sh*t on
whoever the most
super popular comedian is.
That can't be your
whole point of view.
But it's very fun
that it's part of his.
This is the first hour
in a long time
that I'm building just
to do the job of performing.
I haven't got a deal
on the table so I don't know
anything about the special
or if it even exists.
I'm not thinking in those terms.
All right
They're telling my followers--
right now,
Instagram is
telling my followers
that I've gone live.
Highly caffeinated
in Salt Lake City.
I like performing here.
I like the owner
of this club, Keith.
I always sort of--
I always kind of dig it here.
Sorry. I'm looking around.
Feinartz is f*cking recording me
for the documentary.
Well, yeah,
so the IG Live said, you know,
I was in a lot of,
you know, grief because,
you know, I was
'cause Lynn had died
and I was, you know,
pretty much alone here.
And I realized that people
could do those things,
so I just started doing them.
And it would kind of force me
into a mindset
of being engaged
with an audience,
which I needed to do
and thinking on my feet
in that way and improvising.
So it was exciting
and it was fun
and people dug it.
And then I started thinking
about the day before
and waking up early
to sort of do it.
You know, then I started
to resent the audience
'cause like they expected it.
I got tired
of seeing the same people.
I got tired of the trolls.
I got-- you know,
I had several stalkers.
Christy, lay off
with the f*cking bracelets,
all right?
You know, I get it.
You think the bracelet
would look good on me,
but I'm not your puppet
and I'm not--
I'm not in a bracelet
period of my life,
and I say all of that with
a certain amount of affection.
There's some things
that I'm very glad are over.
I got very tired of crying
in front of strangers.
Not a great experience.
Like, I didn't know
my neighbors,
but they read about it
in the paper,
and they were just coming over.
It's nice, but, like,
you gotta stand six feet away.
And I'd just be outside
taking my garbage out.
They'd be like, "Hey, I'm Troy
from across the street."
"How's it going?"
"Not good. Not good at all."
And they'd just stand six feet
away and watch me cry.
I'm like, "Okay, thanks."
It was nice of them
but it was weird.
People I did know would come.
They'd visit me
and I'd sit on my porch.
It was-- they'd come by
and it was almost like,
"Just look,
it's the sad guy zoo exhibit."
You know, I just--
they're like, "You okay?"
"No. All right.
Thanks for coming."
Look at that.
Someone painted that of me.
Oh, Monkey.
How 'bout that?
I'm on top of it.
f*ck you, QAnon.
Oh, look.
This is rough, man.
Those are Lynn's boots
and her jacket and her hat.
Oh, man.
Um...
Okay. So...
...enough of that.
What did I do
to myself just now?
See, it just opened
the grief portal.
I'll shield myself
from all emotion.
That's the exciting thing
about this is that, um,
this not only stops,
like, virus and spit,
but it stops emotions
from getting out or in.
It said that on the website
where I bought it.
I'm trying to get
a deal for a special.
We'll see.
If they step up--
You wanna sh**t it
pretty soon, huh?
No. It's not gonna happen, dude.
What is going on
with this f*cking printer?
Jesus Christ.
Maybe I don't understand
the whole nature
of companionship.
You know what I mean?
It's, like, I don't feel
the need for companionship
to ride out the rest of life.
Hopefully, you know,
my money will hold up
and, you know,
when I become ill,
I have enough money
to be taken care of.
But I don't wanna watch
someone die again
or have somebody watch me die,
you know?
It's, like, f*ck that.
You're doing a new movie?
- Yes.
- And you have
a lot of chemistry, comedy-wise.
- With?
- Each other.
Do we?
Good, 'cause we're about
to perform in a minute.
I'm really good
at making her laugh.
Oh, thanks, Marc.
That gives--
give me a lot of credit.
That was my next question.
Who made who laugh more
as you were making this movie?
Oh, it's definitely--
he made me laugh, yeah.
We had a friendship
for a long time
that, you know, was...
always on the edge
of becoming something else.
But she was married and I was
involved with somebody.
But she was always down here
and, you know, we just spent
a lot of time together.
I had her come in and direct
a couple episodes of Maron.
She got hired to do GLOW.
Sorry. What's GLOW?
Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling.
She did, I think,
two or three of those.
Then we worked together
on my stand-up special.
Like, if my girlfriend
wants to watch a movie
I don't wanna watch,
I'm like, "I don't know."
"I don't wanna die during that."
"I don't wanna-- "
If you're ever asking me
this question,
"Have you seen that documentary
with the"-- Stop right there.
I don't know
how much time I got left.
And then we did Sword of Trust.
You owe me dinner.
Have you ever had his guacamole?
- Nope.
- It is amazing.
He still got a little
New Mexico in him.
I'm wondering how you two mesh
because you feel
like very different
personalities to me.
-Hmm.
-Really?
-You-- don't--
-No.
Oh, you're--
now you're mocking me.
I don't know what
you're talking about.
-I get it.
-He's so optimistic.
-He's Mr. Cranky.
-Can't stop smiling and--
I think of you as, like,
this cranky truth teller
and you're this genial,
welcoming presence.
-Like--
-I know, it's annoying, right?
Exact,
drives you crazy, doesn't it?
Yeah.
Lynn found his fussiness
so endearing
and heartening
and he made her laugh so hard
when he was being so pugnacious
and, like, pissy
about something, you know?
And I was like, "Are you
trying to push her away?"
"Well, what are you doing?
'Cause you just--
you sound, like, such
a pain in the a*s, you know?"
And the more of a pain
in the a*s he was,
the more she thought
it was so charming
and so funny.
She honored her feelings
and I fought mine
for a long time.
You know, it just came down
to, well, you know,
we can't do this
unless we're gonna do it
on the level,
and eventually
we got it on the level.
She's a very persistent woman.
I mean, you know, she--
if she got her mind
on something,
she's gonna get it,
and I was one of those things.
We decided to change
our lives to be together
and then she moved down here.
Something happened
when he met her.
There was a new kind
of expansiveness,
a new kind of tenderness.
One of my favorite
Marc Maron jokes was
you wake up in the morning
and your first thought is,
"Not again."
And I felt, with Lynn,
like that "not again"
was fading a little bit
and he was greeting the day
in a different--
in a different manner.
Lynn?
Lynn?
- What?
- Where-- what happened?
Where'd you go?
Is there a problem?
No.
Do you wanna stick
your head in here?
Go ahead. Stick your head in.
Have you shown this picture yet
'cause that's a good one?
I did. I did. I showed that.
That's a really good one.
-See--
-What's going on there, Marc?
I love that Mona Lisa shirt.
That's when I was getting sober
for the first time.
Oh, it's covered
with Mona Lisas?
Yeah, but she's cracking up.
What happened to the bandana?
You-- so you don't have
-any bandanas left anymore.
-I don't have any bandanas.
Okay. That was good.
I have intimacy problems.
That was an experiment--
in intimacy.
Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome to the stage,
Marc Maron.
Lynn did
the last comedy special
that I did before COVID,
which was End Times Fun.
It's pretty clear
the world is ending.
I don't wanna shock anybody.
Like, isn't there something
that could bring
everyone together
and just realize, like,
we've gotta put a stop to, like,
almost everything, right?
Oh, my God. What would it take?
Something terrible.
Then the COVID thing happened...
and we were just
sort of locked in here.
And then that day--
the night before that
she was supposed to go
to the doctor,
she just-- she collapsed,
and I had to call the ambulance,
and it was horrifying.
And that-- and then that was it.
She was dead 18 hours later.
It was all very horrible.
Just unexpected and horrible.
And I-- you know,
a day doesn't go by
where I don't
kind of deal with it.
I think something in me
relaxed with her finally.
You know, like, all right,
you know, this is-- this is
who I love and this is good
and this makes sense.
You know, after all that time,
after that-- all that life,
you know, where you finally
kinda land in something
that makes total sense
and seems, like, this is,
you know, this is okay.
This is gonna be
how the rest of it goes.
I was more comfortable
with myself, you know,
when I was, you know,
with her, somehow.
Everything was
supposed to work out, dude...
...and it didn't.
I've heard
There was a secret chord
That David played
And it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care
for music, do you?
It goes like this the fourth
The fifth
The minor fall
And the major lift
The baffled king
Composing Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
So this is the room
that Lynn got sick in.
This is the last room
she was in.
These were some of her books
that I've kept here.
This is her tambourine.
That's her ukulele.
And a lot of the other stuff
I put into a suitcase.
This was her luggage.
Some masks.
These were all the things
that were going on.
Doctor's names,
people I had to send,
you know, the announcement
that she had passed away.
These are...
it seems to be notebooks,
but a lot of them
are just empty.
Oh, this has stuff in it.
Yeah, I don't know
what one does with this stuff.
I guess I didn't really
realize I had it.
I just kind of, you know,
let her family deal
with a lot-- almost all of it.
I don't-- 'cause I didn't
feel, like, it was my place
to really--
to have-- to have this stuff.
I didn't realize
those journals were in there.
She left some, you know, books,
you know,
some-- not heavy journals
around,
but, you know, just doodles
and writings there.
And I'm just flipping through
this one like notebook
and it just says right there,
like the whole page,
"If I could just get Marc
to love himself,
maybe he could love me."
And I'm like, "You know,
you gotta get to a meeting."
Um, no, uh, the, uh...
No, it's horrible, right?
- Isn't that sad?
- Yeah.
I'm sorry.
But I have to be
honest with you.
No one's gonna get
Marc to love himself.
I'm in a very difficult space
right now
in terms of what
I'm doing on stage.
It seems a little angry
and cynical and weird.
My brain's just on fire,
and I'm just not sure
what the point of anything is.
Like I can be funny,
but, you know,
it's like what satisfies me
is pushing.
You know, pushing.
So I don't know, man.
Like, now I'm in the process
and it's f*cking...
You gotta be careful
not to hurt anybody.
Work, good.
Once more.
And done.
-Great.
-So I was doing this
all the way through
when the pandemic--
when the lockdown started.
Um, I just had to keep--
I had to keep running.
And then after Lynn died,
I was still working out.
Like, I think I went over there,
like, a day or two after.
I didn't know what else
to do with myself.
It's pretty awful,
crying and trying to work out.
- Jesus.
- It's f*cking f*cked up.
I didn't know what else to do.
But like, doing this stuff,
I guess it was a routine
to keep your sanity.
Good. Two more.
Doesn't matter anymore.
People are weird, man.
Nothing's enough right now.
People know they're f*cked.
Ten seconds.
The greatest indication
that it's f*cking over
is Chappelle spending
an hour and ten minutes
- sh1tting on trans people.
- Two, one, and relax.
I mean, with everything
going on, that's the choice?
But whatever.
Hey, man.
It's a free country.
- We good?
- Yeah.
- We're good.
- Thank you.
We're solid. Good job.
I don't know.
I don't know about my head
in relation to other comics
right now, in general.
I'm old, you know,
and I never was huge.
I just don't-- I don't think
my stand-up ever really
kind of, like,
breaks the ceiling, you know,
and becomes, you know...
monumental, you know?
I'm just a guy doing the job
on my own terms,
in my own way to a,
you know, a reasonable
amount of success, right?
Oh, God.
I feel disgusting. Let's go.
You know, they lock in with me.
I'm like wide open.
I'm just a portal for lunatics.
That guy is right on top of it.
What's going on?
Did they drag you down here?
I didn't tell them to do that.
I didn't--
no one dragged me anywhere.
- What? Huh?
- I just--
I got my hair and makeup done,
so I was excited to be on this.
Look at her. Huh?
Can you do the-- a pretty face?
To film? Sure.
I think so. That was his choice.
Shut up. We're filming.
- My stepbrother's Zach Braff.
- All right.
- What am I?
- Tonight might be the night.
- Ugh.
- Ugh.
It might be the night.
Just a cowboy hat, cowboy boots.
I just wanna do
the material I'm working on.
I don't wanna distract people
with whatever that is.
- "What's going on?"
- Yeah, exactly.
A lot of that.
- Eyes squinting.
- "Is this part of it?"
"Is this part of it?"
I don't know what kind
of old man I'm gonna be.
Like, I don't--
I think there's--
I've decided that there are
two kinds of old men.
You know, like, I'm talking
men in their 80s.
There's only two.
There's a kind of dude
who's in his 80s
and no matter
what kind of life he had,
he knows where he's at.
He has humility.
He has acceptance.
He's grateful to be alive.
And that-- that's the kind
of guy who's just like,
"Yeah, you know, life was good.
It was okay."
"I'm just happy
I have some time left,
and I'm just gonna sit here
and watch the water."
You know, there's that guy.
And then there's
the other kind of guy
who's like, he's 80-- in his 80s
and no matter what kind
of life he had,
somehow in his mind,
he got f*cked. So--
Like, "Yo-- "
"I've been married three times.
I have no money."
"I have no money."
"My kids don't talk to me
from the second marriage."
"They can go f*ck themselves."
"I left them the business.
They f*cked it."
"The whole thing was bullshit.
It was bullshit."
"I'm just gonna sit here
and watch this as*h*le
watch the water."
I actually had a conversation
with my dad and he goes,
"Well, you know,
you heard about this actor?"
And I'm like, "You're gonna
have to be more specific."
He's like,
"He had to move to Greece
because he was part
of the pedo ring."
I'm like, "I don't know."
"I don't know
what you're talking about,
and it's probably not true."
And he goes,
"Well, I don't know."
"I just need to, you know,
you're not part of that,
are you?"
And I go, "Part of what?"
He says, "Deep state."
"Deep state? No."
"Well, I mean,
I'm trying to get in."
"You know, I'm waiting--
I've applied for a card."
"I'm number 48
on the waiting list
to get into deep state."
I mean, it's not, like,
your comedy career is ever
-gonna get off the ground.
-I'm doing fine.
Nobody's ever heard of you.
I bring you up
to my customers, nothing.
I got things going on.
I got a podcast.
A pod what?
It's like a radio show
on the computer.
So how do you listen to it?
You listen to it
on the computer.
Nobody's ever gonna do that.
My dad is newly demented.
I like to say that
as opposed to has dementia
because newly demented
you're like, "Here we go."
You know, his wife--
he is married
to a born-again Christian
Latina woman
who was actually--
it's an interesting story.
She was his first secretary
when we moved to New Mexico
in 1971.
And this woman
used to cover for my dad
when he was f*cking around
on my mom.
Like, she's known him forever.
Yeah, my dad was that guy.
So-- and then he ends up
with her.
And it's crazy. It's--
that this woman
who found Jesus, you know,
later in life has decided
that her burden to bear,
her cross to bear
is this miserable Jewish man
who now has dementia.
And I don't believe in Jesus,
but I thank Jesus
every day for her.
-How you doing?
-I'm good.
Yep.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- You look good.
- Thank you.
He's ready, man.
He's ready for his close-up.
-Ready for my what?
-Your close-up.
-My close-up?
-Yeah. All right?
Yeah.
We're going this way.
I'll do some jokes
about you tonight
but you won't remember them.
The reason I--
I'm so good at doing comedy
or the type of comedy I do
was that-- like, he would--
he would be depressed
and my mother would say,
"Why don't you go up
and make your father laugh."
"You're the only one who can."
So that was sort
of that relationship.
I could always make him laugh,
which was-- which is good.
You know, it was helpful,
I think, to everybody.
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
It's a good way to communicate.
And it allows me
to make fun of him
right to his face.
-Right?
-You did that.
How was that for you?
Did not bother me.
It didn't bother him.
Not too bad. I remember,
like, he got mad at me
'cause of some stuff
I wrote in my book.
That was the--
that was the only time
I really upset him
was there was stuff
I wrote in my book about him.
And he got mad.
And I remember he called me up.
He's all pissed off.
And I was like,
"What do you want me to do?
Pay you?"
And you're like--
you said, "Yeah."
And I'm like, "How much?"
You said,
"A hundred thousand dollars."
I said, "I'll give you five."
And I did. I sent him five.
And then he-- then he said,
"I didn't cash it."
They cashed it. They cashed it.
-Right?
-They did? I don't remember.
-Yeah, Rosie cashes the money.
-Huh.
I'm sending you money.
Is she not giving it to you?
So my dad was recently
diagnosed with dementia.
We're all pretty excited.
And, um...
It's a terrible disease.
I get it.
All right?
But I gotta be honest with you.
He's right
at the beginning of it.
You know, he's got
most of his old memories,
the day of stuff
is a little rough.
But he's very nice.
He's kinda fun to be around.
He's emotionally available.
He's vulnerable.
I'm just saying, look,
I know it's a terrible disease
but don't miss
the sweet spot, okay? It's--
I think it's right
at the beginning.
It's just great right now.
It's sad.
And I know that, like, you know,
at some point, he's not
gonna know who I am anymore
and on that day,
I will be truly free.
I've got three boxes
in this f*cking house.
Three litter boxes, two cats.
They use every f*cking box.
Buster, he always knows
when I'm leaving and it's sad.
f*ck, man. I kinda feel, like,
I need to wash some underwear.
I'm definitely bringing the--
I'm bringing my new jacket.
That jacket's too f*cking cool.
I don't know.
This is too many f*cking shirts.
I don't know what I'm gonna do.
I really don't know
from one f*cking day
to the next.
Like, it's very anxious for me.
I don't know
what I'm closing with, dude,
so-- it's all relative.
Someone's gonna be there
from HBO, but I don't care.
I don't care if this--
I don't care if this
gets made a special.
I really don't.
You know, whatever.
I think I hide my anxiety
pretty well.
Um...
A working metaphor
for my anxiety is,
the call's coming
from inside the house.
Grief is a f*cked up thing
'cause it keeps
coming back around
and you don't really know
how to process it.
But-- my parents not great,
not great with the grief.
I'm sorry.
Literally, literally,
three days after she died,
before my dad got bad,
like-- I was like--
you know, I called him up
and he goes,
"How you doing?
You seeing someone else?"
No. Not yet.
Thank you. Thank you for coming.
I appreciate it. Thank you.
Yeah, there's gonna be
a new special.
And it looks like
I'm gonna do it with HBO,
which is very exciting
because that was like--
that was the dream back before
there was nothing but HBO.
That was the thing.
Got about half a year
to get an hour and a half
or more of material
down to like 73 minutes
for the special.
f*ck them all.
Are you kidding me?
"What about, you know,
QAnon makes sense."
Doesn't make sense.
You're stupid.
"Well, you know, if you believe
in God and you understand--"
Well, that's your first
f*cking problem, isn't it?
And that maybe
sounds insensitive.
I'm not really--I don't know.
If you don't like my tone,
it's a-- it's a character
I'm working on.
It's called "Me Half the Time."
Are you saying
you wanna see him on blow?
Yeah.
I think he's got one
more run in him.
That's your next movie.
An old guy decides to do
one more run on blow.
Yeah.
You're getting good shots
of my pants falling down?
All right. Good.
That's important
for the documentary.
-Is that an old guy thing?
-I thought that's a look.
Why can't I sit on
a stool like a regular person.
I've been sitting on stools
like this my entire career.
And I have to assume that
part of my lack of success
in the big world of comedy
is that a lot of the audience
is like,
"I just couldn't stop thinking
about how he was sitting
on that chair."
With nobody else
- Yeah.
- Why?
It feels good.
Love feeling my bones.
Like I see pictures of myself,
I'm like,
"Look at that old head."
Like no matter what I wear
underneath it,
it's just-- there's just gonna
be an old head on top of it.
Hey, that's a cool Western shirt
and an old head.
Now I gotta worry
about a whole other set of sh*t
'cause I decided
to be a rock star.
- I heard you're good.
- I'm okay.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah!
- What do you got? How many?
- Do you mind signing this?
- Okay.
- Thank you so much.
You're not one
of those weirdos
-with the Joker posters?
-No.
- Okay.
- Awesome.
-Thank you so much.
-Are you a weirdo
- with the Joker poster?
- Here come the eBay-ers.
-Oh, yeah?
-You don't need this, do you?
-Oh. You're gonna make me cry.
-I mean, she used to ask--
This is us
when we were on stage?
Correct.
She only laughed
like that at me.
Okay. Then it's you.
Yes, you're right. You're right.
Laughing at me right there.
Look, if you would like it--
if you--
-Yeah.
-If you would like it,
-you can have it.
-I can have it?
-Oh, yeah.
-Oh, thanks. I love it.
You know, the photo.
She was something.
A lot of you know, you know,
and also loved the woman
I was in love with
who passed away.
Look, everybody deals
with pain and loss,
you know, like a divorce
or a breakup.
You deal with heartbreak
and loss.
Everybody deals with it.
But the difference
between a breakup
and someone dying is that
you're pretty sure
she's not f*cking anybody.
I don't-- I don't know
how the afterlife works.
Maybe I'm wrong and God bless.
I-- you know,
if that's what's going on,
I hope she's having
a great time.
'Cause I know that,
at some point,
I'll be f*cking somebody
and that woman will look out
the window and go like,
"What's that hummingbird
doing out there?"
- Everybody good?
- Hi.
Well done, Marc Maron.
- Marc Maron.
- Thank you. Hey.
- Thanks.
- Long-time fan.
- Thank you.
- Well done, you.
I just wanted to say hi
but I just wanted to tell you
I love you.
-Thanks, pal.
-I love how you
-processed everything.
-Oh, thanks.
I love Lynn. I miss her.
-And I'm proud of you.
-Yeah.
He keeps her so alive,
processing out loud.
Marc's not exploiting grief.
Marc is doing
the generous lifting
of processing his grief.
He's on stage making
thousands of people laugh
and laughing himself.
Like, that's something
I need to see.
It sounds like I'm selling
a product of Marc Maron.
"You should get one too."
"Get a grief surrogate."
You know,
it comes and goes
and, you know,
you feel visceral feelings
of missing them.
But then, like,
something new is happening
around living with the absence.
Yes. I'm curious
about your relationship
with the absence
and what it's giving you
and what--
yeah, if I can ask that.
I-- well...
There's no explaining it.
Once you get past the trauma
and, you know,
through that tunnel
of the extreme grief
at the beginning,
you can sort of,
like, you have a certain
amount of control
over, you know, how you want
to experience those feelings.
Like, I just got flooded
with them, right?
- Yeah. Mm-hmm.
- But you can't live
- like that every day.
- Right.
Like I feel that the presence
of-of what we had together,
you know,
still informing my life.
Pie crusts are hard, dude.
I was feeling a little peace
but, you know, I don't know,
it went away,
because, you know, I'm an idiot.
And, you know, that's my life.
You know, it's the same
as it ever was.
And it's, you know...
I just wanna be done, dude.
I don't know with what.
I don't know. I was pretty
happy about this stuff,
but I think it's kind of
a sad set, you know?
Now, I'm like, I'm not even sure
what the f*cking set is
anymore, you know?
Got a million f*cking
recordings.
I don't listen to them.
I'm just waiting for something
to destroy me,
and I think it's me.
How do you love somebody else
if you really can't
love yourself?
I think it's a key
to understanding
my ability and relationships.
Oh, no. What happened here?
It's a way to protect yourself
from vulnerability,
and from being hurt
by other people
is if you're constantly
freaked out
about something bad happening
or beating yourself up.
Not a proud moment.
I shouldn't be doing this
right now.
I gotta get off of these
things after this.
And I was so good about it
for years.
Now I'm all f*cked up.
- It's just the lead up.
- Huh?
It's the lead up to this.
I know. I know.
I have moments
where I love myself, I think.
Like, I love myself.
I did good work.
Oh, sh*t.
Something bad's gonna happen.
Like, it literally gets taken
away from me that quickly
when something good happens.
I'm like, wow, this is great,
but this other thing
could happen.
There's a part of my brain
that just hijacks that.
-What are we doing?
-When Marc first comes out,
where will that be?
When I come out, like,
generally I'll say,
you know,
"How's everybody doing?"
I'll pull this out.
I can leave this there.
I'll wave over here.
I can wave over there.
And then we'll figure out
where to set this.
And then when I move
to the stool,
like, let's just f*cking
glue this thing down.
Yeah.
We're tacking it down.
Tack that down.
You know, mark that.
It's probably gonna
come back a little bit farther.
- All right. Wherever.
- Yeah. Right around here.
-Yeah. We're gonna--
-Just give me one place.
Now, the only problem is...
Get down on it
Get down on it
Get down on it
I drove down 12:30,
one o'clock,
went into the ICU.
She was already gone,
but I was able to, you know,
spend time with her
for a minute,
and it was terrible.
I think it was the right thing
to do for closure,
but it was devastating.
Uh...
You know, I don't feel like
losing my sh*t on the--
on the video.
But like, you know, there was--
like one of the first jokes
I wrote to try to--
you know, it's amazing
how a comedian's brain works,
but like, you know, just--
did I tell you that joke?
The joke was, you know,
I went down there to the ICU.
And, you know, it was
in the middle of the night.
It was quiet.
And she was there, you know,
covered in, you know,
in a medical environment.
She was still intubated.
And it was, you know,
it was rough, man.
But I was able to touch
her forehead and say goodbye
and spend a second there.
And, you know,
as I was walking out,
you know, I was like, "Selfie?"
"No, no selfie."
Obviously,
I didn't actually think that.
Like, I don't know what to do
with that bit,
like, 'cause I think
it might be fundamentally--
like, I've told it to people
that have lost people before
and they think it's funny.
Everyone I tell it to
think it's funny.
But is it--
the reason I've never done it
is, is it disrespectful?
I don't know.
Would Lynn like that joke?
Would-- do you think
Lynn would like that joke?
Yeah. Probably.
All right. Let's do this.
How are you, folks?
Marc will be out in a few--
like, yeah, I don't know.
Two minutes. It's me. It's me.
I'm glad you're here.
Uh, just hang tight
and you'll know when
the thing is gonna start.
It'll be very obvious.
Thank you for coming.
All right.
So, look,
I don't wanna be negative
but I don't think
anything's ever gonna get
better ever again.
People wanna help you.
You wanna be helped.
You wanna feel better.
You want it to go away,
but it doesn't
because it happened.
But she did. She passed away,
and it was the most horrible
thing that's ever happened to me
and I'm sure to her.
And...
At some point, like a bird,
you know,
built a nest right above
where I walk into my house.
And they just sh*t so much.
It's like astounding.
And, at some point, I said,
"Hey, baby,
I--I'm not gonna forget you."
"Is there a different way?"
"The sh*t thing's
kinda tired, I think."
I say goodbye,
and I'm walking out.
You know, I'm thinking,
"Selfie?" "No, right?"
The hotel above
And the street below
You've been gone a week ago
You know, this is me
reclaiming stand-up for myself
in a very aggressive,
very defined way.
Now, all these people
that were not dubious
but didn't see my stand-up
as primary,
it's like there you go.
You say your heart
Has a rhythm
Thank you for watching
the special.
Thank you
for all the nice things
that are being said about it.
Came together.
The set was tight.
I went as deep and dark
as I could.
I got every-- it was all
f*cking joke-heavy,
and worked out. f*ck it.
Hello.
Hi.
I got me and the camera crew.
Very exciting.
-How you feeling?
-Good.
-Good?
-Yeah.
What's going on? Where's the--
where's the cane?
- What are we doing?
- The cane's over there.
-How you feeling?
-I'm fine.
What do you want? Chinese food?
Yeah, whatever you want.
You good? You need to go
to the bathroom, you all right?
-I'm all right.
-All right. Fine.
-Okay.
-Bye.
-Let's go.
-Be careful when his nose runs
and he doesn't-- he's not aware.
-Yeah. Okay.
-So please--
-Give me some Kleenex.
-Okay.
I'm trying to think
if I've talked to anybody
-that you know.
-Probably not.
- Ben Kingsley?
- No.
I talked to Joan Baez.
-Yeah, I heard that.
-That was good.
-Yeah.
-Arnold Schwarzenegger.
He's kinda cagey
about his dad being a n*zi.
Yeah.
I didn't ask him right up--
I didn't ask him straight up,
but he went out
of his way to talk
about how many
Jewish friends he had.
Feeling good?
You still like
being here, alive?
- Yeah, yeah.
- That's good.
Are you happy?
I'm okay.
I would say I'm pretty happy.
I mean,
if I really break it down,
you know, I did all right.
Oh, someone just said that--
she's a GRAMMY voter.
She just said,
"Disappointed Bleak to Dark
didn't make it through."
Trevor, Wanda, Chris Rock,
Silverman, and Chappelle.
I'm not destined
to win any prizes, Dad.
- Does that bother you?
- Yeah, it does.
The only reason I wanna win
is so...
I can say, "f*ck you."
"I won." But I don't even know
who I'm saying that to.
That assumes there's a lot
of people out there
that just wanna see me fail
or don't wanna acknowledge me.
I think I--I'm making them up.
I don't know--
I don't know that there's--
that exists.
You did great.
You did very well.
Here. Wipe your nose.
I got one.
The falling is the rain
And the ticking is the b*mb
The falling is the rain
And the ticking is the b*mb
You can see his HBO special,
From Bleak to Dark, on Max.
Please welcome Marc Maron.
I'm getting old.
- I don't think I'm--
- Whoo!
Yeah. Thank you.
But I always wonder
about my relevance.
This is the arc of my relevance.
At best, maybe two of you
will leave here
and one of you, an hour later,
will say something
like under your breath
like, "It was funny
what that guy said."
And then maybe
a few months from now,
you'll be in conversation
with friends
and they'll be talking
about something
that I had talked about
and you'll say,
"Oh, sh*t. Do you know
that comic Marc Maron?"
And they'll be like,
"I don't think so."
And then you'll paraphrase
my joke badly
and it won't get any laughs.
And in your mind,
you'll be like,
"Is that guy even funny?
f*ck, I don't trust that guy
at all anymore."
And then eventually it'll end
with, "f*ck, Marc Maron."
And if we stand
And watch the waves
Our hands are cold...
Pretty weird.
Mentally a little weird.
But then something
becomes undeniable at 60.
I was panicking that no one
was gonna show up.
- How?
- So, yesterday, I'm like,
"I'll invite Slash."
So--
Yeah. Oh, thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.
- It's very moving.
- Really.
You know, I was pretty
shattered and lonely
and that's when Kit
came into the picture.
- Oh, yes, I know.
- You know, she was--
had her own sadness
and troubles and I had mine.
And we just kind of
started hanging out
without any real definition
or commitment.
I am who I am.
I don't think, at any other age,
I really knew that.
On a good day,
with all of my insecurities,
I can sort of realize,
"Well, this is who you are
and you're not gonna be
anybody else,
so you better continue
accepting that."
That's not a good sign.
Thank you all for coming.
And I never do this.
And I'm very moved and I really
appreciate you all coming.
- It's beautiful. Thank you.
- Whoo!
Yeah.
I actively try not
to dwell.
But I also try sometimes
to remember.
But not in a way that's,
you know, too sad.
I try to remember
what her spirit was like,
and what she was like
as a person, you know?
But as time goes by,
it doesn't go away really,
but, you know,
I have to choose to do it.
I didn't wanna do
this hike today.
How much of this sh*t
can I take?
Well, I had to shave
for the end of that movie
that I shot, so I can't really
worry about your continuity.
Lynn, she tried
to do this hike once.
She couldn't do it.
She went out and bought those
little poles and everything.
But I think it was one and done.
I still got the poles though,
but I don't use them.
You know, like I'm a kind of
a cranky guy,
and I'm resistant,
and I'm guarded.
But she would just like
stare that down
and just wait
until I would kinda, you know,
give way emotionally.
I mean, that was the whole
nature of us getting--
ending up together.
She just would wait it out.
And then once I--
it became more of a habit
of just like giving it up,
you know, I felt a little
more at ease with it
and, you know,
and I felt that that--
like I could have, like,
stayed there.
So it was really just about,
like, you know--
I think she really did love me
and really kind of believed
in me in a way
that got through, you know?
And I was totally impressed
and in awe of her too, you know?
So, yeah, I remember that stuff.
We didn't have long enough time
together, you know?
All right.
You got it?
Are we good?
Change like the wind
Like the water, like skin
Change like the sky
Like the leaves
Like a butterfly
Would you live forever
Never die
While everything
Around passes?
Would you smile forever
Never cry
While everything
You know passes?
Death's like a door
To a place
We've never been before
Death, like space
The deep sea the suitcase
Would you stare forever
At the sun
And never watch
The moon rising?
Would you walk forever
In the light
To never learn the secret
Of the quiet night?
In homage to Marc,
I will answer every question
that you have about him
by talking about myself.
I think I met him
either in '89 or '90,
and he was repulsive,
repelling,
and so sexy.
And we just hated each other
and couldn't stop making out
in the back of a car.
I don't know if Marc
has the capability
of shutting his brain off.
If you like him. Is he okay?
Is-- are we good?
Are We Good?
is such a great name.
It's a great final summation
of a conversation.
that I've had to, like,
resist saying out loud
'cause it's Maron's.
You know, it's just an,
"Are we good?"
In your head for an hour.
I mean, just people
at the popcorn stand just--
"I just need a break from--"
"I think he's been crying for--
there's a lot of crying."
Marc's cool.
And that matters.
He wears cool boots.
He listens to cool music.
He hates sh*t that's lame.
He doesn't like sell outs.
And it's really important
that some people stay cool
and expand their voice.
Grow and grow
and grow as an artist,
but at the end of the day,
be a cool d*ck
who knows that some stuff sucks.
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Are We Good? (2025)
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