Trailer Park of Terror (2008)

[bunniefuu]

Man! Ain't nothing better than Two Thousand

Maniacs! I tell you. Right, Cigrit?

You damn right, Floyd.

That Herschell Gordon Lewis. Genius.

He started it all.

That man, he could take a crap on a plate

and I would sit down with some popcorn

and watch it.

Mmm-hmm. He was like

the Frank DiCaprio of his time.

He started it all. There wouldn't be

none of them movies, would they?

- The Chainsaw m*ssacre...

- That was all him.

- We saw the original right here.

- Right here.

Yeah. Y'all gotta watch it.

Tune in next week.

Tell them why they gotta tune in next week.

Next week? Blacula.

Oh, man. When you are right,

you are so gosh-dang right, Cigrit.

They are gonna be so scared,

their pants will be full of urine cakes.

That's what gonna happen.

Tune in, 'cause this

is the best dang show you got here.

And it's the only show you got here.

- Tune in, or I'll sh**t you dead!

- I've seen him do it.

Yes, siree!

You all better tune in

and watch the Trailer Park of Terror.

Pretty girl.

Today's the day, babe.

You come work for Miss China.

Give Asian massage.

Pretty girl make big money!

- Well, hey, Norma!

- Hey, kiddo.

Hey, Freddie.

- You ain't leaving me, are you?

- I wouldn't leave you.

Where you slinking off to like that,

pretty girl?

I don't recall giving you permission.

I don't answer to you.

- What's it matter to you, anyway?

- Hell, girl.

It don't matter a damn.

I was just curious, that's all.

Aaron's coming here.

We're going to a school dance.

- Aaron?

- Stop it.

Oh, now. Lookee here!

Lookee here, y'all!

- Look at that, baby. Yeah.

- Stop it. Give me that.

- He's here for me.

- Sure he is.

- Marv...

- Boys like that don't come

to places like this for

girls like you, Norma.

They come for something else.

And I was just figuring

on letting him know...

Get out of my way!

How sweet you are

behind that pretty little dress of yours!

You ain't never gonna lay a hand on me

ever again. You understand?

- What's wrong?

- Stop it.

You ain't never getting away

from us, girl!

Well, you looking like a b*tch in heat.

Y'all can shove that possum right up

your a*s and be happy you're still alive.

You don't f*cking talk to me like that.

I smell fresh meat!

- Norma, you ain't leaving us, are you?

- No, honey, I'll see you later.

But it's our business so you mind your own.

Well, here come Norma, so hot and sweet.

She's looking just like a dog in heat.

I bet that b*tch can turn a crank.

And make a dead man come

like a Sherman tank.

Hi.

Hi, Aaron.

- These are for you.

- Thank you.

I prefer roses.

What the hell do you think

you're doing, Roach?

Me and Aaron here

are just getting acquainted.

Just ignore him. He don't know

no better, just like the rest of them.

Hell, ain't you just like the rest of us,

candy pants?

No. I'm not.

Hell, Norma, you got us under your skin.

You ought to know that by now.

- Let's get outta here.

- Hey, hey, hey. Whoa, hey, now.

Let's mind our manners.

We ain't got acquainted with your fianc?.

Marv, leave us the f*ck alone.

We gotta make sure his intentions are pure.

We was watching out for you. Your

rich daddy buy you this sweet ride, boy?

Get outta the way, Stank.

- Roach, give me those keys.

- Look what I got!

You are a rich boy, ain't you?

No. I bought it on my own.

Yeah, not everybody's

a worthless sh*t-a*s like you!

Did you hear that, Marv?

We got ourselves an achiever on our hands.

Well, well. An achiever.

- g*dd*mn world-beater.

- Leave him alone!

I'm just talking to Big Bank Hank here.

Figure I might wanna hire him

to be part of the team.

You could use an apprentice,

couldn't ya, Stank?

- You cannot find good help these days.

- That's right.

You need good help,

and you gonna need some money

to keep up with sweet cheeks here.

- Don't touch her!

- Don't touch me, Marv!

I'm gonna tell you something else.

You gonna need some skill and experience.

- The kind that a man has, not a boy.

- We're just going to a dance.

- Just going to a dance.

- It's gonna be a hell of a long dance...

- Put it back!

- Leave him alone!

- Hey, mister!

- You listen to me and you listen good!

I'm gonna give you

a little marital advice, buddy.

Don't be expecting on your honeymoon,

when you dive deep into that well,

to look for pure water,

'cause I done primed that pump already.

- And it's...

- You're a lying son of a b*tch!

- Hell, yeah! Boy, be a hero!

- He is an achiever! God damn!

- Let's see how big a one he is!

- Aaron!

Hell, Stank,

never kick a fresh turd on a hot day.

f*ck you, Roach.

You know I didn't mean to.

No, no. Aaron! Aaron!

Oh, my God.

You pack of murdering

f*gg*t b*stards!

f*ck you! f*ck you! Huh, Marv?

No, don't you even look at me!

You want to touch me? You...

Baby, I'm sorry.

All I ever wanted... All I ever wanted was

for somebody to love me for me! For me!

Not the f*cking wh*re that you think I am!

Get me outta this f*cking hellhole!

You can all go straight to hell!

You're gonna all go straight to hell!

Howdy.

You don't look so good.

I said you don't look so good, honey.

Do I know you?

No, you don't. But I know you.

Everybody around here does.

You're Norma, the trailer-park queen.

Least, that's what all the boys say.

- Get out of my way!

- You see, a girl like you

grows up with nothing,

probably ain't gonna be nothing.

- It's just the natural order of things.

- What do you know?

A lot. I know a lot.

I been around a long time, and I've seen a lot

of things. And it ain't your fault, child.

Yeah? Well, whose fault is it then?

It's their fault.

There's people holding you down,

kicking you,

keeping you on their level,

taking away everything you ever had

and everything you ever wanted.

How do you know about that?

Listen to me. Do you want to get even

with everybody, with this sh*t,

with the world?

If you want to get even,

you gotta start now.

You see, I always say,

"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned."

Or one that's been sh*t on all her life.

You know, the weaker ones among us

would have you believe

that violence never pays.

I am not one of those people.

I say therein lies salvation

and eternal gratitude.

Now, do we have a deal?

We have a deal.

Norma.

No! No!

Let's all get outta here now!

Born into this life,

thought I was free.

But they held on like demons.

Never let me be.

So come to me, Satan.

Come take me, please.

I've lived, I'm done.

I'm tired as can be.

All right, people, let's go.

Make it quick.

Jesus!

Hey, y'all.

My name is Bridget, and I'm a quitter.

No. Actually, I guess,

I never quit anything in my life.

That's why Mommy and Daddy

sent me to Jesus camp.

- f*ck you, Alex.

- I was abused as a kid.

So that means I can do whatever I want

and just sh*t on everybody else.

- No, you don't know anything about me.

- Oh, yeah. That's right, Goth b*tch.

Like I don't know you turned to a liar

to save your own a*s!

But then I guess God just decided

I needed another challenge.

Thank you, God.

Thou shalt be teamed with a...

- What do you f*cking want?

- Do you ever take a break,

- or are you always like this?

- I can take care of myself, okay, Michael?

- I'm always like this.

- Yeah. You don't think it's sad?

I'll tell you what, computer boy.

If I smacked your geek head to the ground,

and then kicked your f*cking face in

until your whole g*dd*mn q*eer body

stopped moving,

- that would be sad.

- Yeah.

Hey, that's enough!

Amber, you got something

you wanna add to the conversation?

Respect, people!

- Stop staring at my a*s, Jason.

- No, I wasn't.

I don't know anything about your a*s.

Whoa, whoa! Yo, Twinkie.

Haven't you noticed in the time

you've been here that, that one's taken?

- Hey, people!

- You got that?

- Yeah.

- Bathroom, soda, snacks.

Hey, hey. Hey!

Get inside. We gotta get back on that bus.

There's a storm coming. Come on.

Officer. How are you?

- Just running hauls up in Cincinnati...

- Yeah.

I don't know why

he wanted to take that run.

Please be advised,

a line of severe thunderstorms are moving

across middle Tennessee,

northern Alabama and Georgia.

These storms are associated with strong

upper-level cold pressure systems...

Vertical Trinity. What's that about?

Dragging us up to the mountains

and trying to save our souls.

Something like that.

Hope you plan

on buying those snacks, son.

Yes, ma'am, he does.

Hey, pay the lady.

A severe storm warning

for the Tri-State area.

Travelers are well advised to seek shelter.

This is a dangerous storm

accompanied by heavy rain, high winds

and a strong possibility of tornadoes.

We are now getting reports of flooding

and landslides on Highway 24,

and the highway patrol has closed

the route until further notice.

Just great.

Travelers, please be advised,

a line of severe thunderstorms

are moving across middle Tennessee,

northern Alabama and Georgia.

That's some bunch of hell raisers

you got there, mister.

They're not as tough

as they like to pretend.

Nothing a good crack upside the head

wouldn't straighten out, huh?

No, no. At Vertical Trinity, we don't

believe violence is appropriate discipline.

These are decent kids, they really are. They

just need a little guidance, that's all.

I think what he's trying to say

is that we're f*ck-ups.

Language?

Start rounding up the others for me,

will you please, Bridget?

We're all about faith intervention.

By challenging these kids' limitations

and negative self-images,

we show them there's nothing they can't do

without faith and God's help.

Tell you what, while you keep on believing,

how about you reach in your wallet

and count me out the 20 bucks

for the porno rags your

little angel lifted?

- They're really not bad kids.

- Yeah, and sometimes when I

turn my head just a certain direction,

I kinda think I look like Julia Roberts.

That ain't really worth a whole hell of a

lot in the rest of the world now, is it?

I guess not. Let's see here.

I think I can take this bypass here.

- You ain't serious?

- Why wouldn't I be?

That there road's hell in a storm.

And it ain't even real good

in the broad daylight, neither.

- He ain't from around here, is he?

- About 8 miles, the road comes to a "T,"

you wanna take a left,

and that'll take you up to the bypass.

All right, hey! You two got about

10 seconds to finish up before we gotta go.

A full five more than you need, right,

minute man?

- Excuse you, Goth wh*re.

- Well, there's no excuse for you.

Hey, let's get a move on, troops...

- You know you want this.

- Yeah. Like leprosy.

I got her! Hey, Tiff!

Hey, Tiff. Hey! What are you...

Do you know

what I had to do to get this?

I think I have an idea.

I finally get some sh*t,

and you dump it all over the ground?

Jesus, Tiffany. Did you not get

anything out of this past week?

Yeah. A serious crave.

But thanks for helping me with that, mom.

You know what? The bus is leaving.

Let's go. Come on.

- Now.

- f*ck!

- Now.

- Man!

Jesus, this sucks!

Yeah. Do it. Do it. Do it.

Hey, yo, Pastor. We there yet?

For real, though. I just wanted to

thank you for this past week, man.

It was enlightening.

No, really.

I think you worked miracles, man.

In fact, you got a whole bus full of them.

But, no, seriously, though. I'm seeing

big changes, Pastor. Big changes.

I mean, take my man Michael here.

I mean, I think the dude's

actually starting to notice girls. Yeah.

Tiffany, I think she's just gonna

stick to smoking dope now,

instead of scoring the

hard sh*t all the time.

Jason, he's laughing, man,

'cause he knows he's changed.

He's downgraded his shoplifting

just to soft-core porn now.

Which is good, 'cause the amount he

whacks off, he'll be blind within a year.

And my girl Bridget, yo, her days

of five guys all at once, they're done.

She's just strictly

a threesome kinda girl now.

Man. Her days of telling tall tales about

her messed-up childhood? Done. No more!

Take my old girl Amber.

I guess there's just some people

you can't save, you know what I mean?

- You know what, Alex? This is a process...

- Look out!

Jesus Christ.

Everybody all right? Anybody hurt?

My head. My...

- Oh, f*ck!

- Anybody have a signal?

- Looks like a dead zone.

- Nothing.

- There's no keys, nothing!

- Oh, God.

- I don't get it.

- Who leaves a truck

- in the middle of the damn road?

- It's f*cking weird, if you ask me.

Yeah, it is f*cking weird. I guess we'll

bow to your expertise in that department.

- f*ck you!

- Hey, there's a sign!

- What?

- "Trailer park." Let's go check it out.

- Dude, look at the sign!

- What?

- The thing is probably long gone by now.

- Let's go. Follow me. Come on.

- No!

- Oh, yeah. That's a great idea.

We're stranded in a thunderstorm,

everybody head for the trailer park.

There won't be any freaks there.

But if there are,

at least we have the Lord on our side.

Hey, don't you think

someone should stay with the bus?

Bridget, wait up.

Come on, baby. Catch up.

- Hey, there's a light!

- Hurry up.

I cannot believe

someone actually lives here.

Come on, guys.

Come on, let's get out of the rain now.

You two. Hey, come on.

Hello?

Anybody home?

Hello?

Hello?

We've had an accident.

We just need a phone.

Oh, ma'am.

Ma'am, we didn't mean to barge in, ma'am.

A man in my home.

- This is really awkward.

- And me still putting my face on.

Children? Goodness, children!

Oh, where are my frigging manners?

Come on in.

Sit! Sit. Sit, sit, sit!

Okay, I'm just gonna put my face on.

I'll be right back.

- If we could just use the phone.

- Phone? Why would I have a phone?

I still think somebody should have

stayed with the bus.

Let's just relax.

This woman might be able to help us.

How is she going to help us

if she doesn't have a phone?

Maybe she has a car.

Yeah. Maybe she's got a private jet

out back on blocks, too.

Alex, that's not helpful.

Maybe she got some ponies

we can all ride, one for each of us.

- Wouldn't that be fun?

- That would be nice.

Oh, sh*t!

- Those are some f*cking ponies.

- Alex. Stop it.

Sweet tea?

You didn't have to do that for us.

Thank you.

Oh, it's nothing. Come on.

- Thank you.

- Oh, you're welcome.

- Thank you.

- Precious, precious darlings.

Thank you.

- I'm Norma.

- I'm Pastor Lewis.

We had a little accident up there in the rain.

We're with the Vertical Trinity Ministries.

- That's nice.

- This is swell and all,

but I think we should be

getting back to our bus.

Let me know if you all want yours

a little harder.

- This better?

- Yeah.

- Look, ma'am...

- Norma, darling.

- We could really use some help.

- If y'all are looking for help,

you came to the right place.

- Jesus!

- Great.

- Now, just calm down.

- Hold on.

This always happens. Don't worry about it.

It's gonna be fine.

It's gonna be okay, Tiffany, all right?

- It's gonna be fine.

- Let's tell a scary story.

Great.

Come on. I love a scary story.

Come on, who's got one?

I know one of you has got one.

How about you, pepper pot? No?

Dark shadows, what about you?

Hell, you already look like

one of the devil's daughters.

- I know you got a scary story.

- I don't. I'm sorry.

Nothing.

- What about you, cupcake?

- No.

Come on, lady, look at her.

She is a scary story.

Screw you, Alex. You're so f*cking twisted.

Wrong again, Tiffany.

That would be your last name.

- Let's knock it off, people.

- What about her?

Why don't you tell us her story?

Well, every picture has one, right?

Shall I?

Well, once upon a time,

there was a lovely princess,

and she lived in a kingdom

ruled by evil men.

She lived with her mama

and her wicked stepfather.

You shouldn't do it. I don't know

why you let him do this to you.

Norma, not now.

But you gotta see what he is, Ma.

He's just taking advantage of you.

I know what he is. I could do worse.

- Listen...

- Honey, I haven't got time to listen.

Damn it. I'm out of lipstick.

Mama, who gives a damn

about your stupid lipstick, okay?

Stank ain't got a right

making you do all that.

Who says he makes me do anything?

What, you like it?

That's the art,

making them think you like it.

Mama, you're not a good enough actress

to make anybody think

you like stupid, fat Sheriff Keys.

- He don't have to make you do that.

- Well, it's all I know how to do, honey.

Look, would you just run over to China Girl

and get me some more lipstick?

Come here, honey. Come here.

Come to your mama.

Come sit down on your mommy.

I wish I knew who your daddy was.

Your eyes are so beautiful.

- Shut up, Ma.

- You are. You're so beautiful.

And you're so smart, and I love you.

But I gotta do what I gotta do,

so that you don't have to.

So you have a choice out there.

- Not everybody's so lucky, honey.

- Norma, get your a*s out here!

Sorry, Mama, I gotta go.

Marv's paying me to help him with the load.

Okay.

Norma!

I'm coming!

Don't get your panties in a wad!

You looking fine today, Norma.

Roach! Quit jerking off!

Get your lazy a*s down here

and help with this trailer!

f*ck you, Marv. I got my good shirt on.

Man. You're breaking my g*dd*mn lock!

What're you doing, brother?

- You worthless piece of sh*t.

- Get that f*cking thing out of my face.

You gonna get up in there

and help us unload this,

or you gonna stand around

and wait for your helmet to get polished?

Hey, man, let's get something straight,

all right?

We got a deal.

See, I drive the truck, and you rob me.

You wanna gnaw on a man's pecker

in the process? That sh*t's up to you.

Mack! Hey, you come now!

You come in for number-one massage!

Oh, I'm coming! You know that, rice cake.

Hey, little girl.

I don't pay you to stand around

and watch your t*ts grow.

Now get your a*s up there.

Get some smokes over to China Girl.

Get the salad dressing to Stank

for the product meat. Let's go.

I'm on the clock here, f*cking people.

I do not have time! God damn it!

- Yes, sir, shithead.

- Hey, Marv, I forgot.

Don't even contemplate f*cking me

out of my percentage, you got that?

That's my jellyroll, big daddy.

China.

Number-two massage.

Hey, hey, hey! Easy on that product.

sh*t! Oh, sh*t! f*ck!

You just look at one of these things

cross-eyed, they take you off at the knee.

What the hell is that?

Somebody's been getting in my pot fields.

Nobody touches my sh*t. Nobody.

Boom!

"Boom!"

Get that sh*t to Stank. God damn it.

- Mama said to tell you she's ready.

- Sheriff Keys here yet?

Yeah.

Y'all take these on over to Larlene's.

She done paid for them.

Hell, no!

- Take them now, you hear?

- No! She's nasty. She smells like a wet dog.

I ain't asking you to! I'm telling you to!

There is a difference.

Well, we was in a sh*t heap,

no doubt about that.

But me being a brave, young,

death-defying princess and all,

well, Marv and Stank,

they didn't put fear in me.

There wasn't much that could.

But then there was Larlene.

I smell meat.

Hello?

Give me my meat.

Come here.

I want to smell you.

Get back in here, you juicy little b*tch!

I can catch you if I want to!

Stupid b*tch.

sh*t, man. Marv's on the move.

Stank's going to heaven.

Thank you for the lipstick,

Miss China.

- Hey, that's my truck!

- No, no, no. Lay down. Relax.

God damn it. Someone's stealing my truck!

It means some f*cking redneck's

going to die. Get the f*ck...

Do what job?

What am I gonna do? Stick it up my a*s?

What's the matter with you?

I ain't sticking that up my a*s!

I didn't ask you

to stick it up your a*s.

I won't let you

stick it up my a*s.

I ain't paying for lip now,

God damn it! I'm paying for p*ssy, by God.

Well, if you're paying

for p*ssy, then p*ssy's what you'll get.

I'll even give you some a*s!

But Stank knows

I don't do that kind of sh*t!

What the f*ck's going on?

What, did somebody come through the

trailer park here and brought morality in?

Put the camera down, Stank!

You gonna let her get by with this sh*t?

- No, Sheriff, she's feisty.

- Put the camera down!

But she knows

what puts her food on the table.

What? Your f*cking pork rinds?

Your possum rinds?

- Yeah, I've been living off that!

- Come on, God damn it!

- Just let him do it and get it over with!

- Do what?

It'll just leave a few bruises.

You can cover them up with all that

f*cking makeup you wear anyway.

Let's get this job done.

- f*ck you!

- Hey, watch the camera!

- f*ck you! f*ck you! f*ck you!

- Hold the camera. I got her.

- Get your a*s back here.

- There we go. Speed!

Quit f*cking around and stay still!

Hold you back. Get in. The close shot.

- All right.

- f*ck off! f*ck you!

Mom?

Oh, sh*t.

God.

- Did I scare ya?

- Oh, sh*t!

- That's a cool-a*s story, lady.

- So, what happened after that?

She got the hell out of there, right?

Actually, no.

I had to finish the video

with Sheriff Keys myself.

Oh, that is so f*cked.

- Completely f*cked.

- Yes!

Hey!

Well, I guess

it's like the old saying goes, you know.

Being beautiful, it's a

blessing and a curse.

Wait. You hear that?

Rain's stopped.

I want to get out of here.

I'll figure it out

in the daylight.

Okay. Now, I've kept you guys

way too long.

So y'all are staying here tonight.

I won't hear any argument. I got

plenty of space to hold you till morning.

- Hey!

- Oh, jeez.

What the f*ck is this place?

- Well...

- The House of Fun?

You probably don't realize it,

but y'all are standing

in a little bit of history right here.

Long ago, truckers far and wide

used to stop here for a little R&R

in the middle of their long haul

through the good old southern U.S. of A.

So this used to be

some kind of whorehouse?

- Asian massage.

- Dibs.

- I could sleep here, if that's okay.

- That's disgusting.

Gross.

Don't you worry yourself,

sweetheart.

I got something more upscale

in mind for y'all.

Come on, girls.

Let's go. It's okay.

Well, come on in.

Don't be getting shy on me now.

I think there's a light in here somewhere.

Oh, right.

I know, it's a bit musty in here,

but just pretend like it ain't.

And there's just the one bedroom,

but y'all will figure it out, I'm sure.

- Mr. Lewis? This is worse.

- It'll be fine. It's just for the night.

Let's just be grateful

that God has provided.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

Oh, no problem. This was the home

of a genuine w*r hero, ladies.

He served his country, and he did it proud.

Well, it looks like

he got nothing in return.

- Hey.

- Thank you.

Thank you. We'll survive.

- Good night.

- Good night.

Lock the door. Lock it.

Check it out. It's a soft floor.

I wouldn't do that if I were you.

- It's gonna hold.

- Would you do this? Would you do this?

Ew!

I got the bedroom, losers.

There's no way I can sleep here.

Tiffany, it's just one night.

Right.

Ma'am, I can't thank you enough.

My back door's always open. Nighty night.

"It is with passion that we praise..."

You can't do this, Gordon.

You can't... Christ.

Jesus!

- Dude, you freaked us out!

- So?

So don't be sneaking around

like that, as*h*le.

I was gonna knock, but the window

was closer. And it was scarier, huh?

Where's Amber? She is here, right?

No, f*ck-nut.

She upgraded to the honeymoon suite.

It's time for you two to leave.

- What?

- Now.

- We're not going anywhere, Amber.

- Oh, okay.

Then you can just watch us.

I'm sure you'd get into that freaky sh*t.

Yeah. Yeah!

You like that? Yeah?

You wanna watch, you f*cking b*tch?

Yeah, you know

she's into that freaky Goth sh*t. Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

It's official.

This night cannot get any shittier.

- Sorry.

- Watch it!

Damn.

- Just calm down, okay?

- Oh, man.

This place is

really freaking me out.

Wait!

You gotta be kidding me. Pink flamingoes?

It's a trailer park.

Hello?

Hello?

Oh, man.

Come on.

No, don't. I don't wanna

see what's in here.

Just try not to think about it

and go to sleep.

God forgive me.

We shouldn't be doing it.

This is wrong. We gotta stop.

No, we can't. This is sin.

Well, hell, ain't that

half the fun of it, Reverend?

This is wrong. We gotta stop.

Go.

What are you?

- What are you?

- Oh.

I see.

I'm not the same girl that you first met.

I'm not the girl you fell in love with?

I've changed. Is that it?

- Bring it back.

- I can't.

- Bring it back!

- I can't.

To hell with you, Reverend!

Bring it back.

Come on, bring it back!

Yeah? Well, how's about a little head?

Well, damn.

Don't you know it ain't good to leave

your woman drying out in the sack?

Hey, Mike, you hear that?

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Whoa!

The Norma lady said we could stay.

I didn't know anybody else was here.

Number-one massage.

Come.

I don't know.

So good for you.

- Yes?

- No. No, no, no.

- Very good for you.

- Okay.

Whoa!

Good boy!

Somebody's got smoke.

Yes. Such a good boy.

Such a big, big boy.

Hello?

Is this your stuff?

f*ck.

- Stop.

- Why would I wanna do that?

God! Will you just f*cking stop

for a second?

Stop playing. What?

I have to go.

Go! What do you mean you gotta go?

- Go where?

- You know. Go.

Well, hurry your a*s back.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

It's about g*dd*mn time.

Oh, f*ck. Oh, yeah, Amber.

Oh, f*ck! You are such a dirty girl, babe.

Alex?

What the f*ck?

Amber.

You are so f*cking dead, b*tch!

- You got that backwards, darling.

- Amber!

Howdy. I'm Marv.

Come here, boy!

Marv!

Get over here and tell me

if this b*tch is prettier than me.

sh*t, darling. She ain't nothing.

She looks a little used up, if you ask me.

Ain't much for my taste.

- Oh, God, God! Please help me.

- God?

God took his a*s out of here

a long time ago, sweetheart.

If you want help,

you best be asking Norma.

It's okay, baby.

Hey, Marv,

bring these assholes over to my trailer.

I just got me some inspiration.

What now?

- Some fun.

- sh*t, Norma.

We ain't got the g*dd*mn time.

We gotta get a job done.

sh*t! Now, God damn it,

let's get the job done

and just have some fun, me and you.

God bless you, you're jealous.

It don't look good on you.

Well, nothing look good

on you anymore.

- You would.

- "You would."

Let's go, sh*t-stains! Come on!

You want a happy ending?

Come on.

No happy ending?

No happy ending!

Massage?

Oh, sh*t!

You took my sh*t.

Nobody touches my sh*t.

Oh, f*ck! I'm tripping.

- You wanna go on a trip, baby?

- Yeah.

Oh, man,

this is some scary sh*t.

No.

This is the scary sh*t.

Give me a hand, baby!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Where'd I go?

You can't see me.

Bridget.

Bridget. Bridget!

I see you, baby!

The King is coming!

Somebody help me!

Oh, yeah!

They're gonna write songs

about what I do to you, b*tch!

f*ck!

f*ck! Hey! Hey!

You better watch your step over there,

little girl!

You never know what kind of surprises

I may have left in there!

Hey, hey, could be anything!

Somebody help me!

Oh, Jesus! Tiffany.

Maybe I laid a mine right there.

Maybe I didn't.

You know what?

I can't remember

what the f*ck I did do!

Boom!

Oh, God!

Hey, hey!

It don't matter, no way!

You're still f*cked, honey bunny!

You better hope they don't put me back

together again, b*tch!

'Cause if they do...

sh*t, yeah!

Marv! Stank!

My p*nis!

My meat!

Where's my meat?

Where's my meat?

I smell meat.

What kind of sorry sh*t

are they sending me?

You're half-eaten already.

Please, God, I don't wanna die!

Please. I don't wanna die.

Sausage biscuit, I'm sorry.

I think maybe you best just go

and get some help.

Missing your chicken wing

like you are there.

Honey, I was just kidding!

- You think I'm gonna let a prime...

- No.

Piece of rump roast like you

out of my Crock-Pot?

No!

- Sit down.

- f*ck! We won't tell anybody.

Of course you won't tell nobody.

Shut the f*ck up.

Aw...

- Beautiful.

- Christ.

All right, I know y'all are young

and you're full of lust in your hearts.

And I know y'all were back there

having what they call

sex. Am I right?

Well, that's a g*dd*mn

f*cking shame! Huh?

Pastor Lewis trying to teach

you sh*t-a*s kids a lesson

and you can't give him anything

but disrespect.

Maybe you just ought to apologize

to the reverend.

Get your black a*s back on that bed.

- No.

- f*ck.

Matthew 14:15.

The Bible says

having sex before marriage is a sin!

Jesus f*cking...

Drinking is a sin!

Drugs is a sin!

John 3:16, cuss words is a sin!

Acts 12! Jim Beam 40:11. p*ssy's a sin.

f*cking's a sin! Sin! Sin! Sin! Sin! Sin!

Well, Reverend knows best.

So go ahead, apologize to the man.

- Go on! Say you're sorry!

- Okay, okay, okay.

- Okay, okay.

- That's it.

I'm sorry.

So, if I let you go,

you'll stop your sinning ways?

Yes. I'll stop.

I'll stop.

Do you promise in Jesus' name

you'll stop your sinning ways?

Yes.

Rev's dead, as*h*le!

Apologies ain't worth sh*t!

- Apologies ain't worth sh*t!

- f*ck you!

Go to hell!

Oh, I already been to hell, darling.

I already been to hell.

Did you get all that, Stank?

f*ck.

I forgot to hit "record."

We've gotta take two.

f*cking idiot, Stank!

You don't do sh*t right,

you jarhead, cr*cker-a*s piece of sh*t!

This is what I get

for making a sh*t-a*s deal!

Oh, God!

What the f*ck was that?

b*tch got one of my grenades.

- You sure that duct tape's gonna work?

- Yes. It always works.

It don't always work. It don't always work.

- What did you do?

- Oh, sh*t.

- What're you doing, man?

- Where do these go?

That goes on the inside!

- What's wrong with you?

- Here, hold this.

Hey, that don't go there!

- Trying to get the leg on.

- Put that back in there.

Roach, you jackass!

What'd I tell you about them claymores?

Damn it, Norma. I ain't in the mood.

It wouldn't have happened

if you hadn't been messing around

with the g*dd*mn things in the first place.

Hey! Now, damn it,

didn't I just say I ain't in the mood?

In case you can't tell,

I'm a little out of sorts.

Hey, f*ck the leg.

The arm. The arm, man! The arm!

God damn it, Roach! If you all just listen

to me one g*dd*mn time!

Well, we don't now, do we?

Them days are over.

God damn,

I can't believe I let that b*tch go!

Got blowed up

by my own g*dd*mn claymore!

Just, hey, get my playing arm on

straight now. I feel a song coming on.

That's right.

You gotta play at our wedding.

That is right, Roach.

You gotta play it, all right.

What is that song like? What is it?

- Heart Full Of Dirt.

- Heart Full Of Dirt.

Hot damn, that's it!

And it is gonna be beautiful,

Norma, darling.

It's gonna be beautiful.

I imagine that wedding's gonna be just

as beautiful as you want it to be, Marvin,

'cause it's only gonna be happening

in your head.

- Nobody hurts me like my baby!

- She got you there, Marvin.

k*ll me once,

she just keeps right on k*lling me!

- She'll come around.

- She's coming.

Ain't coming around, Marvin.

You just come when I call.

Oh, now.

You make my south rise again.

What do you think?

Wow! You're beautiful, Norma.

Of course I am.

Too bad you boys

will never have any of this.

Hey! Hey, lover boy.

Get back over here,

and put my a*s back together again.

I believe I just had

a little inspiration myself.

Oh, baby, you know you want it.

We gonna be some sexy sinners tonight.

Come on, now, put your hand on her leg.

Else it won't be all sexy and sh*t.

Don't make Stank beg.

Go on, feel that leg.

Now head on up. Take your time.

Don't make me ask you twice, boy.

You get on up to that honey pot.

Keep going!

You know you wanna touch her.

You know you gonna crush her.

Wow, it's getting awful racy now,

don't you think?

Yeah, Stank,

you wanna take it down a notch?

Move it on up.

On up.

Put them hands on her neck.

She's a naughty little b*tch.

Go on, scratch that itch.

You know you wanna touch her.

Yeah, you know you gonna crush her.

- Don't be a p*ssy. Get on.

- Hold on a sec.

Hold on a sec.

It's time for my close-up.

Hey, there, baby doll.

Go away. Get the f*ck away from me.

You know what really turns me on?

Little girls like you.

All right. I tell you what.

Look at me here, son,

I got a deal for you.

- You k*ll her and I'll let you go.

- Huh?

At least one of you gets away.

Die! Die! Everybody's gonna die.

Cry for the camera, don't be shy.

Come on, you as*h*le!

He can't do it.

Come on, boy.

Don't p*ssy out on us.

f*cking do the job.

You know you ain't leaving.

Till her heart stops beating.

Die! Die! Everybody's gonna die.

Cry for the camera, don't be shy.

Shut the f*ck up!

Die! Die! Everybody's gonna die.

Cry for the camera, don't be shy.

Die! Die! Everybody's gonna die.

Cry for the camera, don't be shy.

Worked out just fine.

Boy's got some meat on him.

You poor pet.

You poor little b*tch.

There, there.

Gotta have me a little company

while I'm working, boy.

You ain't lived

until you've had

a piece of Stank's special jerky.

Now, it ain't quite ready.

Try a piece.

How do you taste?

f*ck you! You f*cking freak!

Oh, God. Oh, God.

Bridget, come on, we gotta get out of here.

We gotta go!

Oh, sh*t. Oh, sh*t!

I'm sorry.

No! Stop! What do you want?

I want your meat, boy!

Stank's jerky's got a few

secrets to making it.

Best damn jerky you'll

ever have in your life.

First secret's the marinade.

Stank's special recipe.

See, every jerky takes its own sauce.

Hell, I've decided

you just look like one of them Italian

kind of guys.

This might sting a little bit.

Now, the second secret

is the most important one.

Before my flavored meat

goes into the curing shed,

I do something nobody else does.

Up we go.

- Yeah. See, you get a good piece of meat...

- No!

You can't just stick it up on a hook.

You gotta give it that

little something extra.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the

shadow of death, I shall not fear... Fear...

- You gotta fry it.

- As I walk through the valley...

'Cause everything tastes better fried.

Oh, damn it. Damn it.

f*ck!

Somebody help me!

Come on, come on, come on,

come on, come on.

I didn't say start your f*cking engines!

Start your f*cking engines!

b*tch!

Welcome to the trailer park, b*tch!

Die, you b*stards!

Run, b*tch! Run!

Oh, sh*t!

f*ck this. f*ck this!

You know all I wanted?

All I ever wanted was to be loved

for who I am!

For me, God damn it!

Not just some Goth wh*re who gives it up!

So I try to fix things

and this is what I f*cking get?

f*cking backwards

redneck zombies from hell!

f*ck! You know what?

f*cking k*ll me, you b*tch!

And thanks for the favor!

Pretty girl.

Sun's coming up, Norma.

You go on home now.

Tell them Norma sent you.

Come on.

Darling, let's get you up out of here.

Come on.

Lean on me. There we go.

Nice and easy. Here you go. Here you go.

Lean on me.

I'll get you in there. Nice.

There you are.

Nice, honey, here you go.

Let me get your legs.

One, there's the other one.

All right?

I'll take you to the truck stop,

and you can call somebody

to pick you up from there.