How do you want me?
Right here?
NO!
PLEASE!
Sorry, that was crap. Can I
go again?
NO!
PLEASE! PLEASE!
[Screaming]
Again?
No, it's fine.
It's just that these are
really tight.
Please don't k*ll me.
Please don't k*ll me.
Hey, wait.
[Starting chainsaw]
What are you doing?
What is that for?
What the f*ck is this?
[Chainsaw and screaming]
Untie me right now.
I'M SERIOUS.
NO! PLEASE!
PLEASE DON'T k*ll ME, NO!
[Screaming]
[Music]
[Music]
[Music]
[Music]
NO! PLEASE!
PLEASE DON'T k*ll ME! NO!
PLEASE! NO!
STOP!
That's what I'm talking about.
Cut.
[Giggling]
You okay?
Great job, baby.
- Thank you babe.
You're amazing.
What are you doing?
Will you quit f*cking around,
dude? Seriously.
Well, my dream is
to go down as one of the
greatest filmmakers
that ever lived.
That's my dream.
I don't want to do what other
people have done.
It's boring. You know?
Something new, something
original.
Something a little bit
disgusting.
Albeit, but...
At the same time, it'll be
groundbreaking,
and you know, that's basically
it: to own the world.
Nothing more, nothing less.
I'm a humble guy.
Uncuff me right now.
I'm serious.
NO! PLEASE!
What is this for?
- Food Network.
[Screaming]
It ain't real.
It's not playing real enough.
f*ck, man. This ain't gonna
work.
So why don't we just cut away?
We can't cut away.
It we cut away, it'll look
produced.
It's got to play in one take.
Look.
Her f*ck' arm doesn't even
come unattached.
So we go again, then.
All right, so we throw a filter
on it, make it look like 8MM.
We'll take out the frames we
don't want,
put a digital cigar burn in
the corner.
Make it look like
we're changing reels.
You know what? We'll grayscale.
No... no, no, no.
De-saturate. We'll de-saturate.
If we pull down the color,
it's gonna make up for the fact
that our f*ck' blood looks
like tomato juice.
Eagle flew out of the night.
[Bird noises]
Will you quit f*ck' around,
mini man?
Seriously.
Hi, I'm Paul Shunley.
And I'm John--
Let's do it again. I'm sorry.
Let's get it right this time.
Can we please? Dude...
Six.
- I'm in the zone.
[Laughing]
Mark, get the f*ck out of there.
Go. Let's go.
I'm Thom Yorke.
Oasis, suck it.
- What are you doing?
Mark.
This is it. For real.
Hi, I'm Paul Shunley.
And I'm John Damato.
Has anyone ever told you that
you look like a young--
If we shot it like this?
What if we shot it like this?
We just Hitchcocked...
double Hitchcocked it.
Can we get a wrangler for
John's ego?
You know that this is the sh*t
they're gonna use on Leno.
Right?
- Mm, mm, mm, mm...
This right here. This is what
they're gonna use.
You would...
- They're not gonna use
the good stuff.
You would select Leno as the
talk show we go on.
Hi, I'm Paul Shunley.
And I'm John Damato.
And we're about to take you
on a journey.
A journey so shocking
that it's going to shake the
very foundation of your soul.
If we're successful in our
attempts,
by the end of this film,
you'll have experienced fear,
hatred, passion,
maybe even sickness,
in a way that's never been
presented before
on the big screen.
It's our intention to take you
inside the mind
of one of the earth's most
demented creatures.
On camera,
fully documented look
inside the real life of an
active serial k*ller.
Now we've just posted our
snuff film.
PHONY snuff film...
And a message...
on a site that's dedicated to...
fans of historical serial
K*llers.
And the question that
we have is:
Would a real serial k*ller
frequent a site like this?
And if so,
would that k*ller consider
sharing real footage of his
murders with us?
Let the games begin.
And now...
we wait.
John?
Yeah. One second, baby.
I love you. I'm gonna make you
famous. Just give me a second.
My relationship with John is
really good.
I mean, we're, you know...
on the same path.
We kind of both are really into
films and stuff.
I mean, he's more into the
horror genre.
But I think he's wonderful.
But, you know, sometimes it...
gets a little rough.
He's really, really dedicated
to his work.
And, you know, sometimes...
he...
forgets...
that I exist.
Don't worry about me, guys.
I'll just take a shower or set
myself on fire.
Love you, baby.
I met John in 7th grade
at McArthur McArthur Middle
School
when he saved me
from a
larger gentleman who was beating
me up at the time
for my lunch money...
which, that dude's loss,
because...
I grew up rich and I bought my
lunch with credit cards.
So...
Not gonna steal my identity in
I run the camera.
It's what I do.
It's my milieu.
I like to work on a lot of
cameras.
Lots of cameras.
Just give me...
You know,
just throw me a camera,
and I will use it.
So...
And I think they respect it.
They definitely respect it.
When I... tell them... things.
Paul.
He's witty. He's really witty,
you know?
I mean...
Sometimes he's just talking,
you know.
And I'm like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I get what you're saying.
I get what you're saying."
But I DON'T get
what he's saying.
At all.
I'm happy with everything
we've done.
I mean, why wouldn't I be?
I run the camera.
I mean, you have your art.
I'll have my art.
Some say my art's more,
I mean...
What if I didn't turn the
camera on?
You wouldn't be there.
Check, check. Check.
Hey Mark, cover that camera
better, dude.
I can't keep you in frame if I
cover it better, alright?
I'll get you a pygmy lift.
Just keep up.
Thanks. I get it. I'm small for
my age.
Gary.
- Haystack.
Hey. What are you guys doing
here? Mark?
John.
Hey John, what are you doing
in here?
Just getting my mail, Gary.
You guys can't film in here,
John.
We're not filming in here.
Mark's outside.
I can see Mark. He's got a
camera outside in the bag.
I don't want any filming
outside.
I don't want any filming
inside.
You guys have got to go. You
almost cost me my job last time.
Okay?
I need to get you guys out of
here. I'm locking up.
You know, what are you guys
getting into anyway?
It has nothing to do with
United States Post Office
or me, my friend...
- Rubix cube, too easy for me...
We'll just keep it that way,
okay?
Get us all k*lled, you...
OH sh*t.
Got five more.
Stop the presses.
What have we got?
- Let's see.
We've got hardcore bondage.
We have softcore bondage.
Run of the mill bondage.
We've got old men satisfying
donkeys.
d*ck. a*s.
t*tties. More t*tties.
Even more t*tties. The most
t*tties you've ever seen.
I think this one's actually
your mom.
Sir c*ck A Lot.
c*ck Mania.
c*ck A Plenty.
f*ck.
Got to be something.
Useless.
Garbage.
- What?
What's this?
Huh...
No return address.
Let me see it.
Man, this is... this is
ridiculous.
Like anybody's sending us
documented proof of a m*rder.
Am I Evil 66?
What?
Screen name.
I'll just be over here on the
edge of my seat.
This has got to be something,
man.
Big money.
[Exhales]
Something, baby.
[Music from video]
Sweet. More bondage.
It is pretty sweet.
What?
It takes guts to do art.
What the f*ck was that?
I mean, really do art.
None of that passive aggressive
sculpting and painting
of inanimate objects.
I'm talking human art,
living art.
Art you can feel.
I'm going to show you beauty
like you've never seen.
Act for me, princess.
Show me what you got.
- [Muffled shrieking]
This is our creation,
our movie.
Shh! Look at the camera.
This is our 15 minutes of
fame.
This is our only chance
to create something real in
this world full of sh*t.
Are you ready for your
close-up?
[Screaming]
[Solid beep]
The hell was that, man?
Does this guy think that
sh*t's funny?
He can't go f*ck' with
peoples' lives like that.
I'm sure those screams are
fake.
I'm talking about us, you
jackass!
About our careers.
- Wait.
I thought we might've had
something.
Are you serious?
- I'm dead serious.
What? You'd be happier if
someone got k*lled?
Yeah.
NO, MAN! No, but...
You know, you just can't go
f*ck' with people like that.
f*ck', how many of these
tapes do we got to watch?
Tape after tape after tape.
These people are just flat
out lying.
Yeah, and the movie we posted
was REAL honest!
Whatever, dude.
I'm GLAD it's probably fake.
Me too!
You know what? That's because
you're both pussies. Alright?
I'm going home.
At least the p*ssy there is
female.
Yeah, do me a favor.
Try not to k*ll anyone on your
way out.
If it gets me famous, I just
might.
[Static]
I don't know how to work this
f*ck' thing.
What the f*ck are we even
talking about in there?
Is it real? Is it not real?
Who gives a f*ck?
The bottom line is,
nobody k*lled anybody.
Nobody's sending us any f*ck'
footage of real murders.
The guys are just being pussies
right now.
And they're trying to f*ck with
my 15 minutes of fame actually.
I mean, if we're gonna stick
to the f*ck' logic
that these guys are using...
Filmed executions, right?
k*ll the executioner.
Every journalist that's ever
photographed a w*r, right...
They should go to prison.
This is Mr. Turtle.
Looks like a nice guy,
but when he sees the bait,
he becomes a monster.
Honey, zoom in on us.
Babe.
- Yes?
Where's the zoom button?
Can you not play with the
camera right now?
- Babe.
I have your next star.
Let's see what John's doing.
[Singing Jaws theme song]
Seriously. Come on.
- RAWR!
Okay?
- [Giggling]
Can you not tape right now?
Seriously.
Baby, come on. What are you
doing?
Are you still looking at
submissions?
But this is what people do
with their time, I mean.
Babe, I think you should turn
that off and hang out with me.
I'll be in there shortly.
I got like this, a few more
envelopes to go through.
Then I'm done for the night.
- Baby, come on.
Who is this?
- Are you kidding?
Who are these guys? Do you
remember these guys?
Please!
God, you're a f*cking as*h*le.
- Callie, come back.
On the computer...
Staring at people dying.
- Working!
Hey, John. I love you.
Please!
Who the f*ck even thinks of
this sh*t?
What is this guy talking about?
Are you f*ck' kidding me?
Waste my f*ck' time.
I'd bang her.
Nothing. No address.
Monkeys f*ck'.
a*s House Productions.
Animated assholes.
This is death by f*ck' DVD.
To my mother.
This is... this is from my
mother.
Not watching this. Not watching
this.
Four hours.
Two more.
I'm done...
I have a box of confetti.
Very pretty confetti.
And I will use it
in something.
[Beeping]
[Music]
[Music]
[Static]
Is your mic on?
Yeah. I don't understand why
you always make me wear it.
It's what we do, baby.
It's what we do.
Do they have to hear everything
that we do?
Oooh, John.
Your new boyfriend is cute.
Somebody didn't go home last
night.
Nice clothes.
Nice job stating the obvious.
Come look at this.
I've got to go.
You just got here.
This is some sick sh*t, John.
I don't know what you guys
plan on doing with this,
but I don't want anything to
do with it.
What's your problem?
[Sighs]
Anyway, come look at this.
So you remember the tape with
the flickers?
The guy with the pantyhose
on his head?
Am I Evil 66?
Yeah, he crushed your dreams.
I remember.
Whatever. The tape was rigged,
bro.
It was rigged.
We got ourselves a certified
f*ck' whack job.
Alright? And a pretty damn
creative one at that.
He didn't seem all that
creative to me.
Ah, before you go
judging the guy,
the more I watched the tape,
the more I started to notice
a pattern.
About every six frames or so,
it would jump.
So I went through,
and took them out,
and spliced them back together.
Nice job, Kubrick.
- Yeah, seriously.
Should we get out of here
before he starts splicing us
together?
Just watch the tape, Dumb
and Dumber.
I'm really glad to see that
you cracked my little code.
I apologize for the ruse,
but it was necessary.
The privilege of seeing my work
is not for just anyone.
It takes a symbiotic sort of
soul
to appreciate true art
in its own time.
Welcome to the real show,
my friends.
Act 1, Scene 1.
[Groaning]
Don't worry. Just relax.
It'll be fine.
[Screaming]
[Saw running]
Not yet.
What did I tell you? You have
to play against the fear.
Wait until I say action.
[Screaming]
Are you ready for
your close-up?
And action.
[Screaming continues]
HELP! SOMEBODY HELP ME!
PLEASE!
- Shh...
PLEASE SOMEBODY HELP ME!
PLEASE!
HELP! HELP!
HELP ME!
PLEASE!
[Slap]
Alright, come on.
Come on, baby.
You can do this for me.
Die for me.
You got to die for me.
Alright, this isn't...
Cut. Take 2.
[Flesh packing]
[Groaning]
Alright.
Just come on, baby. I need you
to look at the camera too.
Alright. This isn't working
for me.
We're gonna have to try
something different.
Oh, this is good.
We're gonna do a two shot.
[Screaming]
- GOD!
[Beeping]
[Garbled speech]
You really need to learn to
take direction better.
[Crunching]
Damn.
[Phone ringing]
[Ringing continues]
[Crunching]
God damnit.
Hello?
Hi, Mom.
No. I'm just finishing up
at work.
I'll be there in plenty of time
to watch the show for you.
Yeah, no.
But I really got to finish
up here. Okay?
I love you.
Bye bye.
Jesus Christ.
[Crunching]
[Groans]
[Beeping]
Is that it?
What do you guys
think about that?
I think this is it.
This is our ticket.
Wait. What does that mean?
Does that mean you think it's
real or it's fake?
I don't give a f*ck if it is
or if it isn't.
You know, it looks real,
and we didn't make it,
so when we tell people it is...
we're not lyin'.
I mean, it's got to be fake.
It looked kind of fake.
I mean...
The guy looks pretty f*ck'
good, pretty trained, but...
Wait. You saw it, and you said,
"Jackpot, baby!"
And I said I'm worried that
it's real.
- If it's...
And then you said
it's probably fake.
If it's real.
Well, it probably is fake.
If it's real, then we have
something real.
Some whack job sent us a tape.
What did you think we were
gonna get, Paul?
Look, man.
I accept my responsibility for
this in that I asked for this
too.
Okay.
- But we have it now.
And I don't want it.
They're gonna take the f*ck'
tape as evidence, whether it's
real or not.
Then we have nothing.
Why would it be evidence if
it's fake?
Why would it be evidence
if it's fake?
- They have to investigate.
There's no way it's real.
- Don't even film it.
I don't want any...
don't film that.
You're right. We shouldn't have
it.
We should be sitting in this
f*ck' studio
making documentaries on f*ck'
local police departments.
There is nothing that you could
say to me right now
that would make me think that
it's okay
to work on that tape without
bringing it to the police
first.
In the event that it is real,
isn't it our job to expose
this guy?
Is that not our...
Do you want to expose him?
Or do you want to exploit him,
John?
You know what? A little bit of
both never hurt the pocketbook.
You know what I mean?
- Alright.
No. Hey. Look!
No, I understand. You're crazy.
Quit playing all f*ck' high.
Mark, will you please
talk to him?
- Why are you playing all high?
No! Mark, shut up.
I'm being serious, man.
Do you realize what we might
have here?
Yes, I do realize.
I realize that we're looking
at m*rder in the first,
and we're about to become the
two biggest accessories
since mood rings.
Dude. This is business.
Okay? This is business.
Hey, look. Listen to me.
John, we're not even gonna have
to worry about business
soon enough,
because we're not ever gonna
get a job,
we're not ever gonna see an
ounce of film stock ever again.
Because guess what? No one
hires convicts.
We've got to play this thing
right, Paul.
You know as well as I do
it's all about what sells, okay?
This is...
This is our golden ticket,
Paul.
Don't f*ck' blow this for me,
okay?
Our golden ticket to what?
Hey, look.
If we play this sh*t right,
Hollywood's gonna be kissing
our asses.
Oh, f*ck Hollywood.
- f*ck Hollywood?
Do you ever drop that act?
We didn't do it. We didn't
k*ll anyone!
Can you please not film for
once?
Paul... you got to...
Keep filming.
Get away from me.
Am I gonna do this sh*t myself?
Get away from me.
- Don't.
Don't set up blockades.
- Get away from me.
Paul! Paul! Paul!
Dude, slow down.
Look, listen!
He said she was an actress,
okay?
- If that girl's an actress...
It's all staged!
If that girl's an actress, then
she's the next Meryl Streep.
And last I checked, man,
every next Meryl Streep around
here was on the train to L.A.
or New York.
Look. It's fake.
That's all I'm saying. It's
fake. It has to be.
Like we'd ever get that lucky.
- Excuse me?!
Look, hey! Wrong choice of
words, man.
I'm just saying it's fake.
It has to be.
So you're not even the
slightest bit scared?
It doesn't bother you that we
sent out a message
to send us tapes of murders.
We were sent a tape,
which probably MEANS that
someone m*rder*d someone.
And do you know what that
means?
It means that we're just as
responsible.
No, we're not.
- Yes, we are.
And I guarantee you any jury
would agree with me.
I agree. I totally agree.
Just shut up and do your
f*ck' job.
Why do you got to talk to him
like that all the time?
Why did we even set this up?
I mean, did we just do this
whole thing for shits and
giggles?
Enlighten me.
No. I don't know what you...
Or no. How about this?
We're a couple of f*ck'
losers, right?
So our time's not that valuable
anyway. That's what it is.
I don't have daddy's money to
fall back on, all right?
f*ck you. f*ck YOU!
You're pathetic.
I'll do it myself.
I don't f*ck' need you
anyway.
f*ck YOU.
p*ssy.
That was some f*cked up sh*t.
I knew there was something
about that f*ck' tape that
was...
Still, it's...
There's no way anybody
sent us in
real footage of f*ck' murders,
but god damn, that guy was good.
The way he...
stuck that hook in her mouth
was...
[Screaming]
What the f*ck, Callie?
God damnit.
What the f*ck?
What are you doing?
What does it look like I'm
f*ck' doing?
I'm not doing anything now,
because you just f*cked my
sh*t up.
Will you stop?
- All right.
Please.
- Dinner's getting cold.
Dinner's getting...
Okay, I'm coming in.
I'm coming in right now.
Will you move
so I can get out of here?
Why don't you turn the camera
off?
The camera's off.
[Saying Catholic grace]
Say it like you mean it.
Say it so Jesus can hear it.
[Saying Catholic grace]
FROM thy bounty.
Not THROUGH thy bounty.
Maybe I should do something.
What are you gonna do?
I'm gonna take him out in
the back.
That's what I'm gonna do.
Mmm...
Where did you get these?
These are really good.
I have to say,
you don't do things right very
often,
but this is good.
I'm gonna take that away from
you.
I'm drinking too much?
- Yes, you are.
You are an alcoholic.
Well, I can control it. You
can't.
I can control it.
I can stop any time I want to.
The minute I come in the house,
you start drinking.
I don't even know what you're
doing before.
I'm slaving here in the house.
Sit up straight!
If you don't behave,
if you don't do
what your mom says...
Okay,
you're not even gonna get
any bread.
Why does he have any bread?
Did you give him that bread?
Stop playing with your food.
Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!
Don't speak to me like that!
I hate you! I wish you would
die! Just shut up!
[Laughing]
You're both a disgrace to me.
A disgrace.
You make me sick.
It takes a symbiotic sort of
soul
to appreciate true art
in its own time.
Welcome to the real show,
my friends. Act 1, Scene 1.
Wake up, psycho.
[Crashing]
What the f*ck?
Did you forget how to call
home?
- I was out with Paul.
This is what you stayed out
for?
Why are you watching this
again?
Yes. And because...
Yes, because it's my job,
Honey Bunny.
Okay?
And because,
the sh*t's fake, bro.
I've figured it out.
You've got to see this.
John.
You just have to listen to me
too sometimes.
All right?
- That's fair enough.
I mean, I know I can be an
a*s sometimes,
and...
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry too.
We're being set up, man.
The guy's a filmmaker and he's
using us to make him famous.
- You think?
John, I need to talk to you.
- Why not?
I mean, what kind of idiot
would send out tapes
of himself k*lling people?
It doesn't make sense.
You know, no one's that stupid.
And look.
- What have you got?
Watch. It cuts.
It cuts, dude.
If it was real, it would have
to play in one take.
And watch this.
Fake blood.
The guy uses fake blood...
- John, I was trying to
talk to you.
...to cover the head kick gag.
I mean, dude...
He's a filmmaker.
And he's trying to make a mark
just like us.
And he figures if he can
dupe us
into convincing the world that
this is real...
When it comes out
that it's not,
we look like sh*t,
and he gets...
A ton of publicity
for tricking us.
Exactly!
He gets famous.
Yeah, but...
even with the fake blood,
and all the cuts...
What about that bat?
Paul, Paul. Listen, man.
The guy's stacking up the
evidence with these tapes.
Now, he may be psychotic,
but he's obviously not stupid.
Alright, now look.
I'm in no mood to be watching
a real live human being
die over and over again,
And I know what you're gonna
say. I'm beating a dead horse.
If it's real, straight to the
cops. No questions asked.
We get this sick f*ck sent
where he belongs.
- All right, f*ck it.
Jail.
- Mark, do you want to go
have sex?
We get the fed interview.
You're not going anywhere.
You're just ignoring me.
Fine.
- Callie, come on.
You see I'm busy. Baby.
Baby, wait.
- Get away from me.
Will you slow down? Please?
- No.
No.
Come on!
- Leave me alone.
Look, I'm sorry.
- We need to get this.
On a roll.
- You're always sorry.
I'm sorry.
Baby, please. please.
Please, stop. Stop!
- Okay. Okay.
I'm stopped.
- Okay.
[Arguing behind camera]
You've got to get this.
- I'm trying!
You're not really listening.
- Yeah, I am listening.
I want us to be cool.
It's cool. I'm gonna go home.
Okay?
When you're ready to take a
shower, come home.
Oh, sure.
Pull the shower card on me.
That's messed up.
I can't believe I let you talk
me into this.
Oh, here we go.
When we get in there,
don't say anything specific
about the film.
Yeah. No sh*t.
Yeah, like no insider stuff,
no expose...
Just get what we need and go.
- Dude.
It's not a big deal.
It's an interview.
I'm sure they do them all
the time.
- Oh yeah.
Because kids are always
sh**ting documentaries about
social deviants who send them
snuff films in the mail.
You're Ret*rded.
You're "brilliant".
Hey, the guard booth.
Just film this sh*t, okay?
Can I help you?
Yeah. We're here to see
Special Agent Morris.
And you are?
- Cattle Drive Productions.
Oh, right, right. The film guys.
- Right.
Make sure you check your gear
in at the front desk.
Yeah. No doubt.
Hey, Mark. He wants you to
check your gear.
I check it twice a day!
You guys are children.
Yeah, come on in. Which one
of you is...
I talked to who? Paul?
- That's me. Paul.
We talked on the phone.
Agent Morris. Nice to meet you.
You are...
- John Damato.
John. And you've got to be
Henry then.
- This is Mark.
You bringing in...
you going to use all this stuff?
Sorry about that.
- No, no, no. Bring it all in.
Where do you want me to go?
What do you want me to do?
The preponderance of serial
K*llers are white males from
middle class families.
have been abused,
or suffered some sort of trauma
or abuse as children.
What can you tell us about
their intelligence?
Oh, well...
Most of the cases I study,
I find them to be very
intelligent.
Yeah.
See, that's the funny thing
about serial K*llers.
They appear to be normal.
They could be educated.
They could be family men.
They could come from good
homes.
But the thing is...
But they're still murderers,
nonetheless.
Well, yeah,
but they're more than that.
They're the archetypal misfits.
They're unsuccessful in life.
In some measure,
they've failed.
So... unsatisfied with their
place in life,
they turn to death.
It's the only arena where they
can feel in complete control.
So their only success is the
murders that they commit?
No, no, no.
No. m*rder is not the ultimate
success.
These people brutalize their
victims.
The serial k*ller prefers
the...
the sadistic, hands-on
stabbing and mauling
and mutilating.
And then-- And then,
there's the ultimate thrill.
The real success is eluding
the police,
until, by their own admission,
they're caught.
By their... by their own
admission?
Right.
See, then it's fame.
It's the details of the
adventure.
It's the... real life horror
of what they, in the end,
wind up exposing millions of
people to.
Now, the movies,
or whatever it is
you guys do...
Well, you glamorize these
people.
And you turn them into
fictionalized onscreen heroes.
A real k*ller is something
so,
so much more terrifying.
All the effects in the world
cannot simulate the feeling
you get
when you're walking down the
aisle of death row,
and looking true soulless evil
in the eyes.
So, is that ever disturbing?
Or frightening to you?
Being so close to something
so demented?
Yeah, sure, sure.
Yeah. Very much so.
So you would say these K*llers
are out for recognition?
Ultimately, yes.
But isn't that
counterproductive?
I mean, doesn't society tend
to loathe these men?
Do they?
We write books about them.
We make movies about them.
They even have fan clubs.
- Exactly.
How do you spot one?
Short answer. You don't.
See, that's what makes these
people so dangerous.
They're not the boogey man.
They're not the monster under
your bed.
They're your friends, your
neighbors,
your father, your brother,
your husband.
Hell, it could be you.
Could be me.
[Static]
Oh no...
Sorry. Sorry.
It's alright. I'll take
care of it.
Hey listen, guys. I got to get
back to work anyways.
So, good luck with your movie.
Alright?
No. Just one more question
before we go.
Yeah. Sure.
Aren't these men
just really weak,
pathetic individuals,
looking to obtain power
any way--
the only way, probably--
that they know how.
What is power?
I... I'm not sure I understand
the question.
What do you think power is?
Control, I guess?
Overpowering another
individual.
I guess I don't know exactly.
Yeah. Most people don't.
It's a good question.
Let's see if I can answer it.
True power...
is giving the other person the
perception that they have it.
Now a serial k*ller
will allow people to go through
their daily lives
knowing that the minute he
decides to,
he can change every aspect
of any person's existence
that he so chooses.
It's all only allowed at the
discretion
of the people who are not
afraid to k*ll.
These guys do have the power
and they're quite aware of it.
So...
no, I don't believe that
weak and pathetic
are very accurate descriptions.
Do you?
Thank you for your time,
Agent Morris.
- My pleasure.
- Yes, Agent Morris.
It's been a real pleasure.
- Good luck with your movie.
Thank you very much.
[Music]
We should start making
a documentary about
us playing foosball.
I don't think this is a
regulation table.
Oh, let's get you
on the move.
Some action...
Let's get some action, guys.
Are you going to film AND play?
Oooh!
Red man is suppressed again!
Freebie, just like reservations.
Oh, suck it. One handed.
It's alright. At least
we still got the casinos.
[Music]
Come on!
Hey! Huh?
- What?
Oh, dude, I'm getting some
good stuff here.
I'm going to get you.
Hey, babe,
want to go to the game?
[Music]
Hey! That's valuable tape stock.
Quit f*cking around.
Don't go into John's now.
I'm done with you.
[Music]
Just let me try one more thing,
baby.
Hey guys.
Guys, you've got to come see
this.
At the height of a country's
decadence,
lies its ultimate demise.
Why do we choose to do the
things we do?
Because we can.
Because choice makes us a
breed apart.
It gives us power.
A choice to create.
A choice to destroy.
A choice to watch
the world burn.
America has chosen.
I will be the hand.
He's got posts all over this
thing.
There's dozens of these.
This is one deeply disturbed
individual.
What the f*ck?
What are you doing?
Game time is over.
Mark, get the sticks.
Get...
Come here.
Do you even know why you're
doing this anymore?
- Yeah.
For the movie.
Are you sure?
- Yes, I'm sure.
What the hell else would I be
doing it for?
Well, see, why would you have
to say that?
Why would you say that?
That makes me not believe you.
I need you to tell me
that this has nothing to do
with fame.
I need to know that
this is about us
making the best movie
we can make.
Yeah. Yeah.
It is?
- Yes!
It is.
All right.
Well...
Anybody who wants to leave...
Leave now.
Will you come back?
Get back here!
Is it real?
Oh yeah,
this is gonna end well.
What does he mean?
The f*ck' body?
- Oh sh*t!
Here.
What are we doing?
This is ridiculous.
I'm gonna f*ck with him.
Yes, John. Do enrage the
disturbed man.
It's not an hour from here.
It's, like, 15 minutes.
Seriously?
- Idiot.
Now the potential homicidal
maniac
thinks we live somewhere other
than where we do.
OH sh*t.
Log off! Log off!
What the f*ck just happened?
This is so f*cked up.
He knows your name.
What if he knows where we live?
Will everyone calm down and
let me think, please?
[Sighs]
Come on.
- WHAT?
Yeah, what?
We're going.
Oh, f*ck that.
I can't even begin to tell you
how much I am NOT going.
There is no way in hell!
Not happening. There's no way.
Well, I am.
If you go, it's over.
John, I can't deal with this
sh*t anymore.
I can't. I'm serious.
You're becoming obsessed.
Guys...
Oh, f*ck you.
Come on.
We are not going.
This is insane.
We need confirmation, man.
No. That is what we do NOT
need.
This guy's nuts.
If he knows who we are,
what we NEED is to go to the
cops and talk to Jack.
Yeah. Because he loves us.
That always works out well.
Will you just look for the
ribbon on the...
What's that?
Pull it over. Pull it over.
Pull it over!
[Exhales]
Red ribbon on a tree, baby.
I think it's too dark.
Oh god damn, man.
Quit being such a p*ssy!
I don't want to be involved
in this.
Well, you are!
Looks like we're all bound
by blood.
Let's go.
I have no idea what that means.
John!
I hate John.
I hate his face.
What part of his face would
you say you hate the most?
The face part.
- Yeah.
John! Yeah!
Will you wait up?
Hurry up!
I hate him because he told me
that Estelle Getty
was actually the youngest of
The Golden Girls.
John!
What is he doing?
I swear to God,
if he's hiding...
I'm gonna k*ll him.
John?
What the f*ck?
Are you back here building a
god damn love nest?
What are you DOING right now?
What am I doing? Just give me
the f*ck' camera.
You are an IDIOT.
Hey, are you guys coming?
sh*t.
OH sh*t.
God damnit.
Oh f*ck.
Okay.
Alright. Is it...
OH sh*t. WHAT THE f*ck?
[Chuckling]
- Holy sh*t! Holy sh*t!
f*ck. f*ck. f*ck!
OH f*ck.
He just... he's out here.
He's out here.
- Who is?
What?
- Get down.
Let's get the f*ck out of here.
You're not making any sense.
Let's just get the...
Let's go! Let's go!
Come on, Mark.
- f*ck!
OH sh*t.
- f*ck.
OH sh*t.
f*ck.
f*ck! COME ON!
Where the f*ck are we?
- Come on, come on!
Sorry, I saw something
so messed up...
- You are a d*ck.
What'd you see back there?
That chick,
she was f*cked up, man!
What chick?
- SHE WAS f*cked UP.
Dude, you got to settle down
and talk to me!
I DON'T KNOW! I don't know.
What the f*ck did you get us
into, bro? Marky, are you okay?
I don't know. What the f*ck did
you get us into, man?
I saw a dead body.
- Alright, man.
I saw a dead f*cking body.
- Just when he gets in here,
you need to let me talk.
That's fine. That's fine.
And you need to keep that thing
out of my face.
I don't want to be part of this
anymore. You will not put that
in my face.
I thought I suggested
that you NOT film in here.
In our defense, it was only a
suggestion.
A STRONG suggestion.
Come on, Jack. Posterity.
- Posterity, my a*s!
Look. It's just what we do.
Okay? Can we please talk--
I understand!
I know what you do, son. I'm
quite aware of what you do.
This is quite a bit of work
you've got here, Pauly.
It's not work. It's m*rder.
It's a m*rder, Jack.
Yeah?
- Yeah.
Where'd you get it?
- I told you. I got it in the
mail.
No letter. No return address.
No name. Just those tapes.
- No nothing?
Stop it.
Where's the envelope?
- See? I told you!
I threw it away.
I told you you shouldn't have
thrown it away.
[Silently mouthing]
Does Larry, Moe and Curly have
anything to do with this?
Oh, Christ. Seriously, Jack.
I'm not finished.
This is serious sh*t.
And I need to make sure that
you're on the up and up with
this, man.
You've got some damn nerve,
coming in here,
asking for help...
Where are we supposed to go?
That's it with that damn
camera.
Get that camera off. Put it
down! Shut it off!
Jesus Christ! We've got a video
of a m*rder! And footage--
TURN IT OFF!
GET IT OUT OF HERE!
You want spend a month in the
hospital? Get it out of here!
Get it out of here!
Jack, leave him alone!
[Frantic argument]
Pauly, listen to me!
Mark, Jack's gonna kick my
a*s. Come get this.
Go get the door. Get the door.
Those were good cops.
And you guys twisted that sh*t.
You guys flat out lied
until you got one canned,
a couple demoted,
and one sucking on the wrong
end of a service revolver.
That is serious sh*t, Pauly.
You've got to realize that.
[Static]
I've seen Ellen around with
Officer Smith.
And...
So, what was that look?
First of all, would you like
to be a part of this movie?
A movie? Tell me a little bit
more about it.
Let's just say Officer Smith...
He likes his afternoon
delights.
If you know what I'm saying.
- Afternoon?
They look the other way. None
of us girls get in trouble.
This is my alley.
So you see the cameras, right?
- Yeah.
Do you think you could engage
Officer Smith for us?
Well, you're gonna pay me,
right?
Absolutely.
She said 10 minutes.
Let's get this f*ck.
Officer Smith.
Protecting and serving, I see.
You m*therf*cker.
You and your f*cking ratfink
crew are dead.
Do you wanna pull your pants
up when you talk to me or no?
Because there's criminals on
the street. Are you above the
law?
It looks like YOU got dicked.
- Not exactly.
You're dead. Give me that
f*cking camera. GIMME THE...
Don't look over your shoulder,
buddy.
You're f*ck' dead.
You're f*ck' dead.
You want a quote?
I'm gonna give you one!
Right between my eyes! Look in
front of this!
If that wasn't my nephew,
and this degenerate wasn't his
friend...
There's a good chance they'd
both be on the back of a milk
carton.
How's that for you?
Real professional, sir...
Shut up. Have you been on your
medication?
Yes.
I want a urine report from you
tomorrow. You understand?
I want you peeing in a cup.
Do you understand?
We got to get out of here.
- Just sh**t!
Just get in here.
- HEY!
Get the f*ck back! Turn that
f*cking camera off!
It's off.
What the f*ck did I just say?
[Frantic argument]
[Frantic argument]
Get that camera off!
Dude, we almost caused a
f*ck' riot.
Zoom in. Zoom in. Zoom in.
No, I'm on him. Can you hear
him?
At all?
- Nope.
Paul, are you getting this?
Mark, Mark. Tuck that camera in
the bag, but keep it running.
We didn't mean for this
to happen.
- Jack, listen. Listen.
Please, please, listen.
- But you saw the tape
with your own eyes!
You know that it's not bullshit.
You saw the tape yourself.
All right. Don't give me that!
You guys know better than
anyone else
that what you see on camera is
rarely what it really is.
Oh Christ!
[Sighs]
This is real.
Show me the body.
Your uncle Jack beat us.
Well, yeah. This better be the
real deal,
because he came out here.
Who's your daddy?
- Right there!
Right there! Right there!
- Oh, tight.
With all due respect,
Uncle Jack...
Right there.
- What did I tell you?
Jerry, stay with the car.
- You sure, man?
Yeah. Stay with the car.
- All right.
Well, lead the way.
- Gentlemen. Gentlemen.
Let's go, partner.
- Partner!
Don't partner me.
It's just around this bend.
Come on, you guys.
She might get up and f*ck'
leave. I'm serious.
I don't think this was the
way, man.
This is the way.
It's down here.
Where?
- Right down here.
It was right there.
God damnit, Pauly.
- I swear!
I swear it was there!
- Jack.
Right there.
John. No more.
- Look.
Alright? I don't want to here
any more.
- Hey, Jack.
Look what I got here.
- What?
That's my flashlight.
That's... this is my
flashlight.
I dropped it when I saw the
body.
I told you I wasn't lying.
I told you!
Where's the body?
- It was right here.
Right where I dropped it.
- Um, guys...
Holy sh*t!
I don't know how that got
there, Jack.
You see? That ribbon wasn't
there.
It was right across the river.
It was tied on the tree by the
body.
God damn! He's f*ck' with us.
It's syrup.
You are worthless.
- No, no.
That's bullshit.
f*ck.
- Oh Jesus.
Get the f*ck out of here.
The f*ck is this?
[Frantic argument]
SHUT UP!
What the hell is this?
Am I on the World's Most
Stupidest Cop or something?
Why do you guys keep doing
this?
Are you PURPOSELY trying to
RUIN my career?
We're screwed.
- Wait! Where are you going?
Don't forget your girlfriend.
It's probably the only p*ssy
that would tolerate you
scumbags.
Set up some more cops.
- IT WAS REAL!
He must have moved the body.
Save it, Pauly.
I don't want to see you until
the holidays.
Don't come down to the station
or I'll have you all arrested.
Family or not.
That goes for you too, Pixie.
It's a good thing your father's
not around to see what
an over ambitious,
lying scumbag you've become.
It's a damn shame, son.
Thank you.
JOHN!
Body hunting, Pauly.
f*ck.
f*ck.
Damnit!
[Static beep]
Marcus?
Coming.
Coming.
[Leaves crunching]
Detective Stanley.
Yes, Jack Stanley.
I'm his nephew.
What? What about dogs?
No dogs?
What? Is the canine union on
a strike right now?
You know, man...
These cops.
Always around to write you a
ticket.
They're never around when you
need them.
Will you stop watching that,
please?
Looking for clues.
What are you? Nancy f*ck'
Drew now?
I like to think of myself more
like Scooby Doo.
Does that make me Shaggy?
- Scooby Doo...
I guess I'm Scrappy then.
No. You're more of a Velma.
Yeah. Definitely Velma.
- I'm alright with that.
Do you think I made it up?
- No.
I don't.
What do we do next?
I don't know.
That chick's head was all
caved in, man.
[Strange music]
What?
Sorry?
What for?
I don't know.
Ask him.
He knows about the cops?
Because he was probably out
there the whole time.
One time appearance.
What?
I don't know.
I don't know.
Answer him.
- He's impatient.
Tell him his videos suck.
What?
- Yeah.
Tell him he's not living up
to our standards,
and he's been nothing but a
huge disappointment.
I don't want to piss him off,
man.
Come on.
- Alright.
For the love of God.
Constructive criticism.
That wasn't clear enough.
So...
Gotcha.
Persistent and nuts.
You think?
We have no contract.
Damnit.
What if it's a 13 year old
girl?
[Phone ringing]
Hello?
OH sh*t.
IT'S HIM!
IT'S HIM!
What the f*ck's going on?
- Hello? Uh huh.
Alright.
He said turn on the computer!
Dude, this guy knows every
f*ck' thing about us.
The least he could do is
introduce himself.
Get in tight.
- I am!
[Clicking]
I'm gonna check the fuse box.
I'll come with you.
Hurry.
[Moaning]
Yeah. Right there.
Number 13.
- Man...
I don't know what's going on,
man. The power's out.
How could the power be out?
[Clicking]
Dude.
What the f*ck just happened
with the lights?
This sh*t is real, and he's
f*ck' with us.
Alright, we got to go.
We'll go to... the FBI.
God damnit.
- Morse.
Morris. He'll help us.
- Morris!
We're so f*cked, bro.
Look man, we just got to go
to the cops. Okay?
And turn him in. We don't have
a choice.
What if he's trying to set
us up, bro?
I can't go to f*ck' jail!
- He knows who we are.
He knows our names. I just
wanted to make a movie, man.
Well, this ain't a f*ck'
movie, man.
This is real.
And we're involved whether
we like it or not.
What the f*ck?
It's midnight.
Just turn off the lights.
I mean, should I still tape
or what?
- Hell yes!
Evidence.
Who is it?
Police.
Oh sh*t. What do they want?
I don't know.
- Up, up.
Paul Shamely, John Damato.
It's Shunley, but...
Whatever.
- And Mark, the all forgotten
cameraman.
Is something wrong, sir?
No, somebody just called.
Said they saw a prowler around
the building.
I looked. Nobody here.
You expecting someone?
No, not at all.
Are you sure there's nobody
out there?
Yeah. Could you check again?
I checked three times. There
ain't nobody here.
You guys work a little late?
Yeah, it's a new project.
We're sort of burning the
midnight oil here.
Special about the fire
department this time?
Hey.
That's funny. That's good.
This yours?
No. I don't think so.
Got your address on it.
Really?
Well, thanks.
You can just leave it by the
dumpster over there.
Sure thing.
Just stop making movies about
cops.
No problem. You have a good
night, sir.
Goodnight, sir.
- Be good.
Thank you.
Yeah, you should probably go
get that.
Yeah.
That's not happening, buddy.
This is too f*ck' weird.
First the lights,
now this sh*t.
A cop shows up at our f*ck'
door to help us.
Come on, man.
- Just go get it.
I'm not getting it.
- No. f*ck that.
John, go get that tape.
- I'm not getting the tape.
Just go get it.
- I'm telling you.
You go get it. You want the
tape so bad? You go get it.
When it comes down to it,
you should go get it.
- You go get it. No.
You need to take care of
business and get that tape.
f*ck that. I'm not getting it.
- Right now.
Just go get the freaking tape.
- You go get the tape.
You want the tape so bad?
You go get the tape.
That's a good point.
You should go get the tape.
Let's take a vote.
Who thinks John should go get
the tape?
Mark.
- John.
- This is bullshit.
Democracy. Go get it.
What are you doing?
Go.
GO, GO, GO!
Get it! Get it!
Come on! Come on!
- Get it! Get it!
OH f*ck.
DVD. Nice.
Today's Murders.
What the...
[Exhales]
[Static]
Hi.
I saw the sign that said
'Come In', so...
I came in. I'm Kristen.
Hi. Nice to meet you.
So, this is it, huh?
- Yeah.
Creepy.
Are you filming me right now?
Yeah.
Your agent didn't tell you this
was gonna be a screen test?
No, I mean...
Don't worry about it. Don't
worry about a thing.
Can I offer you anything?
Coffee? Water? Tea?
Water's good. Yeah.
Water? I've got some water in
the green room.
Indulge me. Just step right in.
- Okay.
We'll be right with you.
Why don't you try on that
little blue thing?
Oh yeah. I got it,
but it doesn't fit.
It's okay.
What you have on is fine.
Is your mic on?
- Yeah. I think so.
Wait.
So how many other women you
said that were up for the part?
Seven.
But you're the first today!
- Well...
I can assure you
that you won't need to see them
after you see me.
Oh, confidence. I love that!
Well, let's hope for their sake,
you're right.
Are you ready for your close-up?
Yep, sure am.
Wow.
Hope you know how to scream.
[Screaming]
Okay, okay. That was good for
a first try.
[Screaming continues]
Pretend.
Let's think.
You just watched your mother
jump off the top of a building.
Okay?
Okay.
I need more volume.
More volume.
Louder.
Cut.
I'm sorry.
- Okay.
My throat is hurting.
I really have to go.
I have, like, another audition
to go to.
We'll be quick.
What the hell is this?
Look. He's acting like a
f*ck' director.
She thinks she's in a movie.
Please, could you just...?
Untie me?
- Okay.
Really. What--
What are you doing?!
What are you doing?
We're going to try to make
this natural.
Just don't.
Sit back, sit back.
Look at the frame.
Look at the frame.
Look at the frame.
[Sobbing]
Please let me go.
Now, cut.
More intensity.
You're about to die.
Act like it.
[Gibberish]
CUT!
No, no, no.
No, no.
That is NOT what I want.
[Gibberish]
[Gibberish]
[Screaming]
YES! That's it!
That's what I'm looking for!
Genuine fear and total
surrender!
How can you keep watching this?
There you go.
That's it.
Are you getting this?
Yes! Beautiful!
Do it for me! More!
More! More!
More! Come on!
[Screaming]
DON'T! NO!
[Scuffling]
[Gibberish]
NO!
NO! DON'T DO IT!
[Heavy breathing]
Okay.
Now where were we?
Have you ever wondered what
it's like
to stare death straight in
the eye?
Well, here you are.
An up close and personal look,
minus the guilt of actually
having to do it yourself.
You can't beat that.
[Screaming]
NO!
NO!
NO!
No. NO!
[g*nsh*t and screaming]
Aren't g*ns boring?
Let's try something else.
Who's next?
I can't... I can't film this.
He just shot her.
[Babbling and crying]
[Screaming]
You've got to believe in
something.
Please!
- No!
You're doing great.
Just stay patient.
[Screaming]
I thought you were gonna be
home tonight.
I was.
I'm... look.
We got this delivery.
Is that why Mark's puking?
- He's puking?
Yeah.
Look at...
- BY ALL MEANS, don't let me
interrupt your work.
I was just leaving. I swear.
No, I mean it. Press play.
I want to see what kind of
sick sh*t caused me to lose
the love of my life.
[Screaming and babbling]
NO!
[Metal clanging]
[Babbling continues]
Run, little pumpkin. Run.
[Plastic rustling]
[Screaming]
[Crashing]
I said... run.
[Screaming]
[Gurgling]
[Debris rustling]
This is what you do?
No.
No, I mean...
I'll have my stuff out by
tomorrow.
Callie, no, stop.
Baby, please. Come here.
Baby. Come here.
Callie. Callie.
Baby, stop. No.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. Okay?
And I didn't mean to not be
there.
I didn't, but I just...
- What were you doing?
I'll leave right now. You want
me to leave right now?
Yes. I want you to leave right
now.
We'll leave right now.
- Okay.
Let's go.
I've got to...
[Frantic argument]
It's about us making it and us
doing what we planned on doing!
We're not gonna make it if you
go to f*cking jail!
I'm not even part of it
anymore.
It's some sick f*ck' sh*t,
I know.
If I'm not in your life
anymore,
are you gonna succeed?
f*ck you, John. f*ck you!
Come here. Stop, just stop.
- NO!
Stop, stop, stop.
- No. I can't do it anymore.
Don't take this away from me.
Please! Just look at me.
- I'm looking at you.
You're not looking at me.
I'm looking right in your eyes.
- You don't see me.
Callie, don't!
CALLIE!
You can't ask me to choose!
You already did.
I can't watch any more, man.
I can't do this.
Turn the f*ck' camera off.
Mark left a long time ago.
What do we do, man?
Agent Morris.
Tomorrow.
What do you think he does
to her?
You serious?
[Clicks]
[Screaming]
We're f*cked.
We are f*cked.
These women are...
are dead.
They're dead because we had the
brilliant idea of baiting him.
They're dead because of us.
They are dead because of me.
I'm disgusting.
The cops don't think we exist.
My own uncle does not think
I exist.
We're still making a movie.
THIS is the word of the Lord.
You pig.
The voice coming down from
the throne said,
"Praise one God."
The dragon gave its own power
and throne.
"Are you his servants?"
Let us rejoice and be glad.
Give Him glory.
For the letting day of the lamb
has come.
Ten roars and seven heads.
[Inaudible]
The beast I saw was like a
leopard.
Like a leopard...
The beast I saw was like a
leopard.
LISTEN TO ME.
Listen to me when I read this
to you.
Here. Learn it.
Learn it.
You better hope they come and
wash your sins away.
[Screaming]
You're not an artist...
[Phone ringing]
You okay?
Yep.
What's that?
It's a bunch of old horror
movie reviews.
They've been spewing out all
morning.
It's him.
So what now?
We make a movie.
Mark?
Hey. What'd Agent Morris say
when you called?
Paul.
Hey Paul.
Yes, sir?
Cattle Drive Productions,
for Agent Morris.
Agent Morris isn't in.
Did you guys make an
appointment?
- Idiot!
No.
This is sort of last minute.
You both need to make an
appointment.
- Told you!
I understand that, sir.
Is there anyone else that we
could talk to?
No.
Maybe a manager or a supervisor?
Anything like that?
I am the supervisor.
Real good... REAL good.
Thank you.
What now?
I don't know, man.
We could always try to take it
back to the cops.
Yeah, and I could always take
off my pants,
and watch an episode of
'q*eer As Folk',
but that don't mean
I'm gonna do it.
I'm being serious with you,
man.
Uncle Jack can't deny this
sh*t.
That's all I'm saying.
- Yeah.
It's worth a shot. Right?
- We got to do something.
I mean, we get denied at the
f*ck' feds.
Let's take it back to Uncle
Jack. What's he gonna do?
k*ll us?
The f*ck is you doing, man?
OH sh*t. g*ng squad.
What the f*ck is you doing,
man?
I know you.
You the m*therf*cker that got
my homeboy in trouble, man.
We're just leaving, officer.
You ain't going nowhere, man.
SHUT UP! TURN AROUND!
What the f*ck is y'all
sh**ting?
It has nothing to do with you?
- I don't want to be in a movie.
Why is your mother f*ck'
camera on my god damn car?
It's not. It's on us.
What the f*ck?
Don't you dare talk back to
Officer Mathis, you little
f*ck' girl.
I'm sorry.
-Give me your f*ck' donut,
f*gg*t.
Your homeboy got a f*cking
camera on me, man.
Guys... guys, look.
Man, get your mother f*ck'
a*s on the car, man.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry!
[Frantic argument]
You see this? You taping this
sh*t?
[Frantic argument]
Have a good day. sh*t.
- Get the f*ck out of here.
You got three... two...
- Get out of here!
[Frantic argument]
[Frantic argument]
You ever get the feeling
everyone hates you?
Yeah. Pretty much all the time.
You can't make the meeting?
Well, can we reschedule?
Yes. Yes, I understand.
Thank you for your time.
Goodbye.
Apparently Agent Morris got
wind of our reputation
as filmmakers.
He's a little too busy to play
movie star now.
Where are you going?
Take a nap. I need a couple
hours.
Hey, did you see these?
What?
No, I turned the TV off right
away last night.
I didn't even notice this.
What do you think?
Well...
I think I'm desensitized.
Go for it.
Mark.
Mark, what the f*ck?
Do I need to sprinkle f*ck'
fairy dust on you?
Frame the shot please.
There you go, BOSS.
Dude, I was just kidding.
You're kidding?
Where'd the new found kindness
come from?
Dude, we put this kid through
hell the past couple weeks,
man.
Autumn Pig Roast?
Autumn Pig Roast.
[Radio static]
Get up.
[Groaning]
Put your clothes on.
[Mumbling]
Run...
Run.
Just stop, man. Just hold up!
Just hold on a second.
Please! Please stop. Stop!
Just put the g*n down. Please.
Just put the g*n down.
Whatever you want.
Whatever the hell you want,
I'll do it. Please. STOP!
STOP! What do you want from me?
To eat.
God damnit!
f*ck!
f*ck!
[Groaning]
[Metal clanging]
OH f*ck.
[Groaning]
OH f*ck.
f*ck!
f*ck.
f*ck.
God damnit.
God damnit!
You m*therf*cker! God damnit!
What do you want from me?
What do you want?
[Fire crackling]
[Faint police radio]
Don't say a word.
You ever wonder how you're
gonna die?
I've been thinking about it a
lot lately.
I used to make fun of the Goths
in high school.
Why would you want to walk
around looking like you're
dead?
You know?
Dressed in black, never smiling.
Reading Poe.
I f*ck' hate Poe.
I guess we're all heading
towards the same finale,
you know?
Death.
We're all traveling on the
same path
whether we like to admit it
or not.
It doesn't matter who you are
or what you look like.
I heard this saying once.
"For the living know that
they will die,"
"but the dead know not a
thing."
Sometimes...
Sometimes I wish I was dead,
so I wasn't so damn afraid of
dying.
[Static]
You're not an artist.
I found an...
animal in the backyard.
Did you see him do it?
No.
You're blaming ME for this?
Your son...
- Yeah?
...has taken to k*lling
animals now.
I saw him going in the backyard
with a knife.
And then I found the knife
later.
Yeah, well, he's YOUR SON
as well.
[Piano]
[Piano]
[Bird chirping]
Are we to perish in the
flames of Sodom?
And lie buried in the ashes
of Gomorrah?
Or will we go quietly as shades
in the night,
...in the laughing
face of madness?
[Static]
What is that?
It's directions.
To this place.
For what?
How would I know that?
[Strange music]
How was the movie?
Dude, what the f*ck are you
doing?
I'm through f*ck' around
with this guy.
What do you think he wants?
Same thing we want. Yeah.
Yeah... doubtful.
b*stard.
Did you type 'b*stard'?
No.
Oh f*ck.
Dude, he's watching us!
f*ck' watching us.
WELL, THEN STOP!
JUST LEAVE US ALONE!
PLEASE!
Look, we're not gonna say
anything!
We'll throw everything out!
You just leave us alone!
What?
Look. Let's just play his
game.
WHAT?
Are you f*ck' crazy?
I have an idea.
We're gonna get this son of
a b*tch.
It's not polite to...
[Inaudible]
We need the perfect shot?
No, we don't. No, we don't!
We want to sh**t it.
Are you f*ck' crazy?
Just calm down!
[Muttering]
[Music]
Come on.
- What?
Smile.
I'm smiling.
Babe.
Yes? Yeah...
You look good.
Why do you have to? What are
you taping me for?
It's just been a f*cked up
day. That's all.
You finally ate something.
I love you.
I love you too.
Look at me.
- I do. I love you.
I love you and I know I haven't
been showing it lately,
but if you don't turn that
f*ck' camera off...
Thank you for dinner,
because this is...
It's just been a f*cked up day.
This is what I needed.
And I'm just happy to be here
with you and...
Blah, blah, f*ck' blah.
You ran out of the car fast
enough.
Give me your purse. Give me
your purse. Give me your purse.
[Inaudible]
Let's not. Not tonight.
- I'm following you.
Not me, you and the camera.
Just me and you.
I'm trying to learn your
language.
- Turn it off...
Show me how to use this thing.
Put the camera down. Okay?
I will, in a second.
OH f*ck.
Give me the camera, Callie.
[Phone ringing]
[Inaudible]
[Phone ringing]
Did you get this on camera?
- What?
Did you see what this is?
The f*ck is that?
It's my f*cking head, John.
GOD!
Here, take this.
It's my f*cking head on a
stick.
You think that isn't symbolic?!
Is it him? Is it him, John?
Callie, put the camera down.
Okay?
John... what...
What?
Our f*cking life is on the
f*cking ground.
Yes.
Is it him, John?
Is it him, John?
I'm on my way.
What was that, John?
- It was nobody.
Who was on the f*cking phone?
- It was nobody.
It was him, wasn't it?
- You've got to trust me.
You have to trust me.
- No, I don't trust you.
f*cking tell me who it was.
NO!
Get me out of this sh*t.
You got your f*cking girlfriend
involved.
GET ME OUT OF THIS!
[Frantic argument]
You are a f*cking accomplice!
TO m*rder!
I don't want to go to this
guy's house.
I'm sure he doesn't have
welcome mats rolled out for us.
What makes you feel safe
about this?
Here's your f*ck' answer.
- What the f*ck?
f*ck' running your mouth,
all of you.
f*cking king on the mountain,
all the time. Both of you.
I don't want to go in there
with a g*n.
So what do you want me to do?
- Take the lens cap off.
Would you f*ck' listen to
yourself?
You're the one who started
this whole f*ck' sh*t?
[Frantic argument]
I'm gonna f*ck' walk,
alright? You f*ck.
It's 15 miles!
- I don't care!
I f*ck' need the exercise.
- Mark. MARK!
[Car doors closing]
Jesus.
This ain't right, Paul.
[Door creaks open]
Hey.
This place is a f*ck'
studio.
Hello?
Paul. Paul, keep it down.
- We're cool!
Keep it down.
Oh Jesus!
Welcome to the freak show.
Dude, don't touch the sh*t.
Do you want your fingerprints
all over this sh*t?
What's wrong with you?
- It's official.
This dude's equipment is ten
times better than ours.
Yeah, well. Great.
Great. I think it's time to...
PAUL, PAUL, PAUL!
Paul. Hey bro. Come on.
I'm serious. Slow the f*ck
down.
John.
- Just slow down!
I've got a g*n.
And I have a camera, man.
OH sh*t.
This place ain't right, bro.
Oh sh*t, sh*t, sh*t.
Just keep that light on me.
Keep that light on me.
I like you less and less
every day.
Oh sh*t.
Man.
- Dude.
Dude, dude, dude...
It's the basement.
- No sh*t!
And we're not going down there,
right?
You're not seriously
considering going down there.
Yeah, you're right. Let's just
get out of here.
Thank you.
YES, I'm seriously thinking
about going there. Jesus.
Well, you have fun, because
I'm leaving.
I'm f*ck' out of here.
See ya!
Thanks buddy.
- Gotcha.
Yell if you need me.
Paul, I'm serious. Are you
coming?
ONE SECOND!
Well, f*ck' hurry up!
Paul.
The Blue...
Paul, we got it.
Hey! Paul?
Paul!
f*ck me.
Hey Paul, remember when I said
I love you?
I don't love you!
- GET THE--
HOLY sh*t!
You scared the sh*t out of me!
Come on. Can we get out of
here?
- Get it together.
I'm together, man!
Dude, yeah. Upstairs.
That's smart! Let's do that!
Just, Paul... dude...
Hey.
No, no. Paul...
Paul, Paul. Nothing about this
is right, bro.
Oh, this is f*cked.
Yeah. You're right. This is
f*cked.
You do not tell me that light
is going out right now.
Dude, I'm not Mark.
I don't know what the f*ck.
FIX THE LIGHT.
I'm trying.
f*ck the light! Let's go!
Dude, that's... I think...
That's blood in there.
John, just stay with me.
- Dude, I'm leaving.
You stay with me.
Come on. Get in here. Get in
here.
No. Paul, everything about
this is wrong, bro.
It's not wrong.
This f*ck' light.
Dude, it's...
John, this is what you've
been pumping.
I'm doing this for you.
I've given you everything
you want.
Look. Let's just get out of
here.
Okay? Can we do--
f*ck this light!
This is your movie!
- f*ck THE MOVIE. Okay?
f*ck the movie!
Will you turn that light on?!
Wait.
[Creaking]
OH sh*t! PAUL!
[g*nshots]
Behind you!
OH sh*t. OH MY GOD.
PAUL, COME ON! f*ck!
PAUL, COME ON!
- JOHN, HELP ME!
JOHN!
- FOLLOW ME, DUDE!
JOHN!
John!
OH f*ck.
f*ck YOU!
Oh sh*t. Okay... okay.
[Incoherent rant]
JJJOOOHHHNNN!
- Okay, okay.
f*ck. I'm coming.
Paul?
Paul, I'm coming to get you.
I'm coming to get you!
Paul!
Oh my god.
Dude. Dude, where are you?
Don't f*ck with me.
f*ck.
[Babbling]
[Clunking and shattering]
JOHN!
OH f*ck.
f*ck YOU!
HOLY sh*t.
[Groaning]
[Whimpering]
Who's there?
OH sh*t.
You're not an artist.
You're not an artist.
Oh f*ck.
You're nothing to me.
WHAT THE f*ck.
Nothing.
[Whimpering]
You make me sick.
You make me sick.
You. Make. Me. Sick.
f*ck.
f*ck.
Who is it? Who is it?
OH f*ck.
OH f*ck.
OH GOD, SOMEONE HELP!
SOMEBODY HELP!
Come on, John.
Don't be such a wimp now.
This is your moment in the
spotlight.
This is what you always wanted,
right?
To be famous.
Sorry I can't help you with
the rich part.
[Babbling]
John.
Look over here.
[Hollow thud]
OH f*ck.
You m*therf*cker.
John, John...
We're just about to get the
perfect shot.
I couldn't have done it
without you.
Un-f*cking-tie me.
What the f*ck? I learned my
lesson.
You know I can't do that,
John.
Behind all great art lies
great sacrifice.
This one's gonna be yours.
Don't be such a baby, John.
Most people live their entire
lives
in total obscurity.
You're going to be the star
of my film.
It's time to make history.
Are you ready for your close-up?
STOP! STOP, PLEASE. STOP!
Stop, please. Please.
We can do this together. Okay?
We can do this together. I...
MY FOOTAGE!
You can have all my footage!
We'll make the movie together,
man!
I'll make you famous. I swear.
I'm already famous, John.
The world just doesn't know
it yet.
Please. PLEASE! No don't.
John, stop being so weak
and PATHETIC.
Look! Can't you see you're
just like me?
We're the same, man!
We could do this together.
Call me unethical if you like,
John,
but I'm not gonna be sharing
credit with you.
Or your dead colleagues.
You k*lled my f*ck' friends!
OH f*ck.
No, no, just...!
Look! Look! I'll give you
final cut, man!
And you can have all the
f*ck' rights!
I don't want a dollar!
I will always have final cut.
John, I won't hurt you.
Not as long as you tell the
audience why we're here.
I just...
I just wanted to make a
movie.
[Crunching]
[Gurgling]
[Crunching]
[Beep]
I don't understand what's
the matter with you.
I just don't.
I've given you everything,
And is this all you can do
for me?
Is this it?
Cut.
Print.
[Music]
[Music]
[Music]
[Music]
[Music]
[Music]
[Music]
[Music]
[Music]
[Music]
[Music]
[Mechanical humming]
[Mechanical humming]
[Mechanical humming]
[Mechanical humming]
[Mechanical humming]
[Mechanical humming]
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