(mechanism rattling)
(light music)
(person screaming) (dark ominous music)
(person screaming)
(person groans)
(dark ominous music continues)
(tense music)
(person screams)
(tense ominous music)
(person screams)
(dark foreboding music)
(upbeat music)
I have one more for you to try.
Gimme, gimme!
Did you hear thigh gaps are out?
Everything these days is big booty that
and high protein this.
But like honestly,
I can't help it if I'm
genetically predisposed
to that heroin chic aesthetic.
Well, what do you think?
Do you think my followers will love it?
Definitely.
What about Cyrus?
Will he love it?
Oh, won't be able to
keep his hands off you.
Especially if you pair it with this.
Oh, please. That'll get
yanked off in like two seconds.
- Oh.
- What can I say?
He's... Kinky.
Oh!
I dunno.
Cyrus doesn't really think
silver is a good color on me.
He said that?
He has a very particular vision for me.
Oh my God, my skin is so dry.
I look like a dehydrated piece of fruit.
You know, Daizy, you
should really surround yourself
with people who make you feel good.
What do you mean?
I just wouldn't want you to
be with someone who makes-
Hey, that is the love of
my life you're talking about.
You don't even know him.
So, just because your
boyfriend's Mr. Perfect
doesn't mean you need to look down on mine.
I know-
[Melissa] Olivia!
Coming! Sorry.
What's up?
- Is everything all right?
- Yep.
She's just finishing up.
Good.
Well, just remember,
we are here to smile, nod,
stroke their ego and never
under any circumstances,
offer opinions on their personal lives.
Is it a bad thing to
get to know the clients?
Of course not.
You can get to know their bra size,
waistline, that sort of thing.
If she wants someone to talk to,
she can talk to one of our
3 million followers, right?
Okay. Sorry.
There we go.
Now go see if she wants
the matching shoes as well.
Actually, while I have
you here, I've been really-
Later.
[Olivia] Okay, but later-
Really, later.
(energetic music)
From a kingdom
From a kingdom
From a kingdom
I'm sorry about earlier.
It's none of my business.
Don't worry about it.
Thanks for having my back.
How's school by the way?
Mm. Yeah.
It's going.
That bad?
Double major in fashion
design and business.
Working at this place 30
hours a week on top of it.
It's a lot.
You just have to trust that
the universe has your back.
(light music)
Melissa?
Yeah?
Would now be a good time to chat?
Sure.
So I know that you're
leaving soon and I've-
15 years I've been
prostrating myself at the feet
of Hollywood's elite,
measuring the in-seams
of sex predators and whatnot.
About time I made my big break.
Costume designer for
the new Glass Studios film.
Who would've thought?
Right, well, I know that
the store manager position
will be open once you leave.
And I was really hoping we
could revisit our conversation-
Our conversation?
Our conversation about my future here.
We talked about this.
I wanna be a personal stylist one day.
That's part of why I took this job.
You even said that you gave me the number
for Zendaya's stylist.
Did I?
That was nice of me.
[Olivia] Well-
Let me stop you.
I've decided to go with an
outside hire for my replacement.
What?
I have a favor to pay back. Long story.
But of course you can keep
the job that you have now.
Could I still get that stylist number?
That was really more
of a theoretical thing.
But I'm still rooting for you, girl.
Now lock up when you're done. Yeah?
(energetic tense music)
(phone beeping)
(Olivia exhaling)
(Olivia grunts)
f*ck it.
Hi, guys.
Hey, hey.
I've never done this before
and I'm probably gonna
hate that I did this later,
but it's been one of those f*cking days.
You know, let me just break
it down for a sec. Okay?
I have been working at this boutique
for the last four years,
all through college nights and weekends.
And today I... It just feels
like I'm not being valued.
Four months, my boss led me to believe
that I was gonna be promoted, you know?
And then today she just yanked it away.
I mean, I was counting on
this promotion for my future.
And now what?
Wow, honestly, guys,
I'm loving the support here,
but y'all gotta sit this one out, okay?
Please do not harass my
boss or anything like that.
Okay?
Anyway, it just feels defeating
when you realize that
hard work isn't enough.
You know, like most
people want to hold you back.
It's like they're scared of you
getting a seat at the table or something.
And there are just so many unspoken rules.
You have to be confident, but not arrogant,
passionate, but practical.
It's exhausting. And...
Okay. Wow.
It's honestly really so comforting to see
that so many of you
guys can relate to this.
And here I am bitching
and all you guys care
about is my makeup routine?
For those wondering, I'm
wearing VXV makeup. I'm...
Yeah, I mean, I'm not sponsored by them,
but yeah, I'll give 'em a shout out.
Anyway, thank you guys,
everyone, thank you for listening.
This was weird, but kind of a vibe.
(energetic tense music)
So basically my thesis
has kind of evolved
into this meta commentary about my thesis.
Like the irony of writing
about ethical consumption
when the university you attend
has the same carbon footprint
as the f*cking Kardashians.
I love it when you talk conscious
consumerism to me, babe.
Hmm? Just wait until I get
into corporate accountability.
Talk about sexy.
Oh, be still my beating heart.
Yeah. You don't think
I'm a fraud though, do you?
Literally, the only new clothing
I've ever seen you purchase is underwear.
And you're writing your
essay on a typewriter
that's older than you.
You are good.
And we just won't talk about the fact
that I've been using ChatGPfor therapy for the past month.
Maybe I need to be doing that
instead of going rogue on live.
What?
I know, it was super cringe.
[Gabe] No, what are you talking about?
Did you see it?
I haven't been on social
media for a few days.
Oh, well, basically there
was a lot of monologuing
for all of the world to see.
The gist of it is,
I'm not getting the store manager position.
Ah, I am so sorry,
Olivia. You deserve better.
But if there's one thing I know about you,
it's that you're resilient, right?
I thought so.
But I don't know, Gabe, what if...
What if this is a sign?
I should have just listened to my Mom
and pursued something more practical.
Look, just because your mom
is the Internet's favorite
pop psychologist,
it doesn't mean you need to listen
to everything she says, okay?
I just don't wanna be 30
struggling to pay my bills
and stuck in a ruthless industry
with one win for every 500 losses.
That's not gonna happen.
Look, Melissa isn't the first
person to knock you down.
She's not gonna be the last.
But you have more drive, more talent,
more, you know, special sauce on a bad day
than most people do on a good, okay?
I believe in you.
I love you.
I love you, too.
(bright dreamy music)
(door creaks)
You two lovebirds gonna come inside
or stand here and f*ck in my doorway?
[Gabe] I thought this was our doorway.
Oh, please, bro.
You spent almost every
single night at Liv's place
for the past two months.
It's my damn doorway.
(upbeat music)
My Lord.
Dude, I can never tell
if you're actually making fun of me or not.
Nah, man. I think it's cool
being a good citizen, sh*t.
Although, I distinctly remember you
going through an unholy amount
of single use tissues freshman year.
I had allergies.
Right. Right.
Allergies.
Me too. Yeah.
So it must be nice
over there though, right?
Over where?
[John] At Liv's!
Right.
I mean, I promise
not to take it personally
that you heartlessly abandoned me
like two months before graduation.
I abandon your horrendous shower singing
and your canned tuna fixation.
Yeah, I'm a sl*t for omega-3s.
(Gabe chuckles) You know this.
I'm f*cking with you, bro.
I'm f*cking with you.
I know, I know.
I knew that. You're sensitive.
[Gabe] Okay. Yep.
You can keep that.
[Olivia] f*ck, I hate
Melissa. I hate that b*tch.
So normally I'm against hexes,
but I can make an
exception in Melissa's case.
(chuckles) Do not hex her.
Fine. What's her star sign?
Is she a Gemini?
Bet she's a Gemini. That two-faced cuntbag.
Okay, I appreciate
all this, but let's just,
let's just not talk about Melissa anymore.
I get my mind off it.
Oh, what should we
do for our post grad trip?
John will not shut up about
this Amalfi Coast pitch.
John won't shut up about what?
I don't know... f*cking sh*t.
Oh, we're talking
about how bougie you are.
(Syd shrieks)
Because I think a seaside villa
and a bottle of Furore
Bianco would be sick as f*ck?
By the way, Olivia is just as bougie,
she just tones down around Gabe.
- Oh, does she?
- No, I don't.
The world is a mess. And I
need my creature comforts.
And Gabe knows that.
"Oh my Gabe knows it doesn't even-"
Which is why I can't even convince her
to do a few days in Joshua Tree.
- Nope.
- But I mean, personally,
I think we should all get out
and, you know, connect with nature.
Okay, Greta Thunberg.
Okay, you seriously don't expect me
to go camping, babe, do you?
Like be for real,
I am not spending my summer graduation trip
somewhere without WiFi or
an indoor plumbing system.
You sure?
I'm telling you, sh1tting
in a hole in the ground
is way cooler than it sounds.
(Syd sighs) (Olivia laughs)
On top, on top, on top now
My team shut it down to we clock out
Mm-Hm, hustlers to the front now
If you ain't no damn,
would you know now
On top, on top, on top now
On top, on top, on top now
If you ain't no damn,
would you know now
My team shut it down to clock out
Old dog, new tricks and the new pound
Old boss, new crib with a new lounge
All source, new drip with a new style
All risk clocked out, it's a new round
Two sides of the coin for the same fee
My side look better than the movie
Old school, new school
with the same dream
Shout up to the top of the new swim
Oh, I don't get along
with your old rules
Rather find me a new dream
We know that you're old news
Every season a new team
I got me a new move
I got me a new name
On top of (indistinct)
Close shop with (indistinct)
On top, on top, on top now
My team shut it down to clock out
So for this, I would probably
just take what resonates
and just leave the rest behind.
Because not everything's gonna make sense.
Do we?
Really?
- Yes.
- Okay.
So first think of an intention.
Maybe you want to get
some clarity on a situation
or a desire to learn something
deeper about yourself.
Ready?
Yep.
(uneasy music)
What is it?
Nothing.
Doesn't seem like nothing.
No, really, it's nothing.
I think it's my fault.
I must have exhausted my
energy as a reader or something.
It kind of muddies the result.
Maybe King's Cup?
- Fly by me.
- Okay.
(uneasy music continues)
(messages buzzing)
(Olivia gasping)
Oh, you're in a good mood.
Oh, that's so cool.
That is super cool!
Oh, I can't breathe.
Whatcha trying to do?
You trying to k*ll me?
Trying to k*ll me?
All eyes on me
All eyes on me
Your fantasy
So plain to see
All eyes on me
All eyes on me
So now I'm using VXV lip gloss.
You just put it on just like that.
Kissable lips.
And now your makeup is perfect.
All eyes on me
I am the star
You're just a fan
The first thing I do in the morning
is go on my morning jog.
Gotta keep those muscles in.
And then I ate some boiled eggs
because you know, we
lower our extra protein,
and then I'll do an LED
mask just to keep the skin firm.
And then... Oh my God! (Panting)
I am the star
You're just a fan
(person sings indistinctly)
This outfit is really cute.
I got it from this really cute shop.
I'm so bad at this.
Just...
Okay. Great.
Great. Just gonna keep falling.
Baby, this is not for
me, this whole info...
Okay. Okay.
All eyes on me
Want to spark your jealousy
All eyes on me
All eyes on me
Your fantasy
So plain to see
All eyes on me
All eyes on me
I own the show
I stole the scene
All eyes on me
All eyes on me
(phone buzzing)
I didn't know you guys were that close.
I think she saw my little
breakdown and felt bad for me.
Yeah, or she's trying to keep tabs on you
to make sure you don't
get more popular than her.
Like that'll ever happen.
But it's really cute that you think that!
Oh my goodness. Are
these your real pajamas?
Of course, they are.
There's someone's ad.
(phone buzzing)
Oh my God! (Cheers)
Oh my goodness.
(birds chirping) (soft airy music)
(hand banging)
Hi, Mom.
Hey, baby. Sorry I'm late.
Your silent judging is incredibly loud.
I'm just thinking that
influencing isn't a real career.
It's extremely unstable.
Tastes and trends change all the time.
Don't you think you're
being a little hypocritical?
How so?
You monetized your following?
That's different. I'm not an influencer.
I'm a successful spokesperson
for a very successful self-care app.
And yes, in the process I managed to reach
an elevated social media standing.
So elevated, you can't even be bothered
to follow your own daughter.
Excuse me.
Nothing. Nothing.
Baby, I don't follow anyone.
I'm merely just a conduit
for the brand's content.
Okay.
Well, what about the assistant
wardrobe designer gig?
A wardrobe assistant?
Well, that's just a job that you have now,
except on a studio lot.
Am I wrong?
I literally don't know
what else I can say here.
Baby, I am just hard
on you because I love you.
I know.
How's Gabe?
Don't ask if you don't care.
(people laughing)
What's the weirdest product
freebie you've gotten so far?
Nothing too weird.
Although the toner I'm
using from Phebe Skincare
smells like death.
But it's great for tightening my pores, so.
Wait, is that the one
with like traces of horse placenta in it?
- What the f*ck?
- Ew!
I'm telling you right now,
influencer culture is broken.
Didn't guys hear about that one influencer
a couple years ago who
was like walking around,
promoting this weight loss
drink and it contains cyanide?
No.
Well, it happened.
So I'm gonna inform you guys
because Liv's in the industry
and I don't like it.
It's kind of scary.
[Gabe] He doesn't know
what he's talking about.
[John] Gabe, bro, back me up here.
I mean, sure, there are no...
There's some some ethical concerns,
but, I think, overall it's a good thing.
Yeah? What?
Well, I mean, influencers are pivotal
in like raising awareness
for social justice issues.
And I think there's a lot of education
and skill sharing going around too.
Oh yeah. Education, skill
sharing, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I think you're just pissed
that Liv's can be making
10 times more than you'll ever make.
And 50 times more than you'll ever make.
Wait to steal my job... Okay, all right.
Let's just change the subject.
Fine, fine. Happily.
Where do we land on
getting day drunk on Positano?
Oh my gosh. We are not doing that again.
It'd be awesome.
No, bro, we either find a
more reasonable location
or you're gonna be sipping
on champagne by yourself.
All by myself?
I'm kidding. I'm kidding.
Guys, we're going together.
It's a senior trip and I'm telling you,
you're gonna change your minds in a second.
Just look at this place.
I'm telling you, you will love this place.
[Daizy] Hi, guys. It's me, Daizy.
Oh wait, hold up a sec.
[Daizy] My friend @oliviatate-
Oh, Liv, that famous influencer
chick is shouting you out.
No way!
Smooth on my skin.
On the bottle it says,
if it starts to tingle,
it should work.
And I'm really feeling it tingle right now.
I'm starting to spot, everyone!
- Oh my God.
- What's going on?
[Daizy] What the heck is in this?!
- Oh my God.
- What the hell is this?
- Oh my God!
- Jesus Christ.
Oh my God! (Screams)
Oh my God, my face!
Oh my God!
What the f*ck is that?
(Daizy screaming)
Oh my God. Oh my God!
I'm gonna vomit.
(tense music)
Holy sh*t.
(uneasy anxious music)
(uneasy anxious music continues)
(Olivia grunts)
Trust me, I don't enjoy this,
but all this attention on
you on that awful brand,
I mean, it's too much
of a liability for the store.
Melissa, it's a misunderstanding.
It just all spiraled out of control.
I didn't actually do anything wrong.
I sympathize. I do.
But it is what it is. I have to let you go.
And the wardrobe assistant position?
I can't be flirting with cancel culture
during this crucial
transition in my career.
You understand.
No. No, I very much do not understand.
This is the second time
you've pulled this sh*t.
You can't just make people promises
and then take them away like that.
You're by far the most
opportunistic, self-serving,
patronizing, outta touch
woman I have ever met.
Get f*cked!
Wow. There's no need to be angry.
(Olivia grunts)
Everything's ruined, isn't it?
Like I'm totally screwed.
It will blow over.
But I agree, it's so unfair.
Like galactically unfair.
Especially since Daizy's gained
like half a million
followers since the incident.
It's so f*cked.
Are you kidding me?
Everybody loves a victim.
(Olivia sighs)
(Olivia grunts)
(thunder booming) (anxious music)
Gabe! Gabe!
What about glamping?
Jesus Christ, where did you come from?
Glamping! It's the best of both worlds.
You can still do your nature campy stuff
and I can still sit in my bubble bath.
Plus, I really think
that we should do a weekend getaway now.
Who says that we need
to wait until graduation?
I need this. Just until
everything blows over.
Please?
(energetic music)
Who's ready to go glamping?
(all laughing)
Seriously though, thank you
guys so much for coming with me.
I just really needed to
get away from the chaos.
Well, luckily you're a mutable sign,
which means that you can adapt well
and even thrive during
periods of instability.
I think people who use the stars
to explain their behavior are stupid.
But not as stupid as Liv's
hat. Why would he wear that?
Stop the car!
(tires squealing)
What the hell is this?
Did anyone else just see that?
[Olivia] See what?
(uneasy music)
Well, that's not creepy at all.
This has to be a sign.
What do you think it means?
I'm not sure.
I mean, there's, there's
plenty of historical cases
where these dolls act like
protectors warning off harm,
but it's also equally likely
that they're really, really bad.
What do you mean? Like they're cursed?
Maybe.
Since we don't know why they're here,
I don't think we should mess with it.
I don't feel good about this.
Everyone, chill! Okay?
Probably just a bunch of teenagers
trying to recreate the Blair Witch Project.
I mean, I don't know,
I don't want anyone, you
know, feeling uncomfortable.
You guys are kidding, right?
You guys seriously aren't
afraid of a bunch of teenagers
who think they're hot sh*t
'cause they could tie a
bunch of twigs together?
Why are you pushing this?
You didn't even wanna
come, Mr. Amalfi Coast.
Yeah, you're right.
I came for Liv, 'cause
she's our best friend.
She's going through some sh*t and...
I don't know, it just means a lot to her.
I just don't like when people
blow things outta proportion
for no reason, you know?
Just take a f*cking Xanax
and do some box breathing.
It'll be okay.
Do you know about box breathing?
I've been to therapy
just like everyone else.
Okay, well, I'm cleansing the place
the second we get there.
All right, fair enough.
[Syd] So, what'd you go to therapy for?
[John] I had to learn how to cope
with having a massive d*ck.
[Syd] Shut up.
[John] What?
Oh my God. Look at this!
[Olivia] It's so much
bigger than in the picture.
[John] Oh my. That's what he said. Ooh!
Sorry, had to. Absolutely had to.
[Syd] So the pictures of
your d*ck are really small?
[John] Oh my... No.
Maybe, sometimes, it comes in the angle.
[Olivia] I'm so excited!
[John] (cheers) Yeah, baby!
[Olivia] Yay.
[John] Oh yeah, let's go!
Look at this.
Yay!
- I'm so excited.
- Oh my gosh.
Let's go, baby.
Alright, let's go. How
about the bags, buddy?
Oh wow.
This is great. This is great.
Nice! This place is sick.
Let's go!
[Olivia] Yay.
[John] Oh, I call the
king bed. I call the king.
[Syd] The vibes are off.
[John] Oh, Jesus! Now what?
I'm sensing, negative
energy. It's oppressive.
It's one of the most
beloved rentals on the site.
Highly rated.
Yeah. I don't know.
[Gabe] Oh my God, this is so sweet.
(Olivia laughs) (lighter clicks)
Okay, I'm just letting everybody know,
I don't think I'm gonna
go back with you guys.
[Olivia] Yay.
Jesus Christ.
[Olivia] Oh my God,
Syd, you love the drama.
Alright, that should be good.
Okay, I really hope this helps.
I'm gonna go head outside really quick.
Oh my God. You gotta be kidding me.
Just let her. (Slaps)
Ow!
(Gabe slaps) Ow!
Dude, you...
You know what?
Screw it. I don't care what she says.
The vibes are money.
- Yay!
- Woo!
[John] Money.
(birds chirping)
(Syd exhales)
(uneasy music)
(uneasy music continues)
(Syd shrieks)
[Gabe] Boom.
[John] How?
I'm just good.
I got one good hand.
[Gabe] All right. We deal.
(door slams)
[Olivia] What happened?
There was a dead rat.
Ew.
Glad to see you made it out alive.
Man, sage makes me so horny.
[Olivia And Syd] Ew.
Well, if we're all done
with the creepy voodoo sh*t,
can we please get this
party f*cking started?
Welcome shots, anyone? Huh?
- Yes?
- Mm-hm.
I think, yeah. Yeah?
Let's go! Let's go!
Oh sh*t.
No way.
[John] It's not a shot glass.
Okay. I don't like this.
Like, I really don't like this.
Explain that. Explain how that got there.
We should go home.
It's probably just a guest before us
- wanting it on the prank.
- Mm-hm.
[John] And bravo, it worked.
Maybe he's right, Syd.
I just wanna know why
you're all so determined
to ignore the warning
signs of the spiritual plane.
We're not determined, Syd.
It's just a matter of what's most logical.
Okay, well, I would argue
that existence is defined
by more illogical things
than logical things.
Can we please not get
into a philosophical debate right now?
If you wanna go, Syd, you can go.
We'll call you a car.
Otherwise, let's step away
from the spiritual plane
and come back down the planet Earth.
Come on. It's nice here.
We got tequila.
(glasses clanking)
It's okay, Syd. Tequila.
You know, you wanna stay for tequila. Yeah.
Come on. Tequila.
- Come on, Syd.
- Tequila.
Hmm.
It looks good.
Come on.
Truce.
Tequila.
- Y'all suck.
- Yeah?
Yay!
Okay! Thank you, God.
There we go.
Cheers, babies.
[All] Cheers!
Babe, the typewriter?
I thought maybe I'd work on my thesis.
You know, we haven't graduated just yet.
Holy sh*t, you look gorgeous.
Thanks.
Come here.
[Olivia] No, you.
Come here.
Mm-hm.
- No?
- No.
- No?
- Mm-hm.
No? (Olivia giggles)
(light guitar music)
Do we really have to join 'em?
You know, if it were up to me,
I'd stay in here with you all weekend long.
[John] Yo, get your asses down here!
(Gabe sighs)
(Olivia chuckles)
There's something I need to tell you.
I really, just like, really (murmurs).
And I dunno how to tell you this.
Oh my God, you just scared me.
Do not tell me that
you're mumbling to yourself
right after we saw those dolls.
Yeah. That's a little sus, huh?
Little bit.
I was just doing my affirmations.
Can you help me take a pic?
Of course.
[Olivia] Cool.
- You look stunning.
- Thanks.
Are you gonna post these?
I was planning on it. Why?
You don't think I should?
I don't know it.
It just might be a little tone
deaf after what happened.
I don't know what else to do, Syd.
I lost my reputation, half
my followers, and the career
that was at my fingertips
is just slipping away.
I have to figure out a way
to keep people engaged.
Otherwise, I will just be forgotten.
It just doesn't feel like you.
It's a version of me.
And I don't know if I can get
to where I'm going without this part.
But the truth is, nothing
gets people's attention
as quickly as a f*cking bikini pic.
Okay, got it. Sorry.
I did not mean to judge.
[Olivia] Thank you.
Do what you gotta do.
Yes!
Yes!
Yes!
And she looks cute. She looks so cute.
Doesn't that bug you?
Everyone drooling over
your girlfriend online?
Calling her snack?
It's not really about how I feel.
Plus, I'm not like a jealous person.
Yes! (Phone buzzing)
Oh, your phone.
Oh.
Hello?
Hello?
Is anyone there?
Huh.
Who was that?
No idea.
That's weird.
(tense music)
(owls hooting) (people laughing)
Okay, okay, okay. Truth, truth, truth.
Okay, tell us about the
time you lost your virginity.
Syd!
It's crazy that you haven't told me.
Are we seriously
still talking about this?
Like, as a society?
Because I think, (John puffs)
Virginity is a social construct
designed to shame women
and to equate their overall
worth with their sexual history.
Tell me I'm wrong.
Dude. Do you ever shut the f*ck up?
Honestly, I mean, what? You
want a gold star or something?
Okay. So wait, I'm just not
supposed to say anything ever?
Because that's exactly
how these f*cking archaic
and harmful beliefs endure.
You know, no one wants to talk about 'em,
even in their closest circle.
Okay, let's just-
Dude, all I'm saying is I don't think
that Syd meant to uphold
millennium of misogyny
by asking a friend about
the first time she f*cked.
Okay, chill. Chill both of you.
Let's just chill.
It was freshman year, some film bro.
He was really into "Fight Club."
[Syd] Some orange flag.
I thought you said he was in finance.
Did I?
Nope. It was film.
Was it good?
Sorry, not your turn to ask.
Um, truth or dare.
Dare.
Okay.
Ooh, I dare you to go
make out with that tree.
Like you mean it.
Easy.
[Olivia] What?
Like you mean it. Like you mean it.
[John] Leave it to
me, pal. Leave it to me.
Okay, pal.
[John] Woo!
But do your followers
actually wanna see this jackass
make out with a tree?
It's for my glamping vlog.
Everyone loves a good
cabin in the woods story.
[Gabe] I thought like
the whole goal of this trip
was to unplug.
Technically that was your goal.
I didn't say anything about unplugging.
I just said I needed to get away. So?
Okay, but don't you
think it'd be like better
if we just detach?
Hello? We're doing this sh*t or what?
Yeah. Sorry.
Go ahead.
So stupid.
(Syd and Olivia giggling)
[Olivia] John!
No way!
[Syd] No. No.
[Gabe] Bro, stop.
[Syd] You're disgusting. Get out.
[John] Oh yeah!
(Syd and Olivia giggling)
Okay. Okay.
Okay, that's enough, bro. Come on.
I just got started.
(Syd and Olivia laughing)
[Syd] Nice, nice, nice.
What can I say?
I like it rough.
Gag.
What? I like it rough.
(indistinct) see he have an erect?
No, actually that was really hot.
Really?
No.
(Gabe and Olivia whispering and giggling)
You so think it was hot.
[Olivia] (puffs) What?!
[Gabe] What the f*ck is wrong with him?
[John] Truth or dare, buddy.
Dare.
(chuckles) Okay.
A dare to call Liv's mom and
ask permission to marry her.
What?
And don't gimme a f*cking speech about
how asking for permission is
antiquated and anti-feminist.
- Okay?
- Oh, that's a little-
Yeah, that seems a little
much. Don't you think, John?
Yeah. Pick something else.
What's the matter, Liv?
You afraid she'll say no?
Or afraid she'll say yes?
[Olivia] Oh, shut up.
What?
I just don't want the first
time that they meet to be
- over the phone.
- Yep.
You guys have been dating for three years
and he's never met your mom?
You guys practically lived
together, for Christ's sake!
She doesn't know that.
(chuckles) Oh my God.
Okay, this is just sad now.
What's the deal?
Are you like embarrassed
by him? Come on, fill me in.
Okay, shut up. Seriously.
You don't have the first f*cking clue
of what you're talking about.
Sorry.
[Gabe] Fine.
What?
Oh, I'll do it. I'll call your mom.
- For real?
- Yeah. Gimme you phone.
Gimme a phone.
Really?
Yeah.
(tone beeps)
(tone beeps)
(tone beeps)
(tone beeps)
(dishes shattering)
[Syd] Oh sh*t. What was that?
I don't know.
(uneasy music)
Do you think someone's in the house?
Who the f*ck is in the house?
I don't know.
I'm f*cking gonna go check it out.
Wait. No, babe, I'll go with you.
I got it. It's fine.
No, you just said it was nothing.
Come on, it's fine, it's fine. I got it.
[Olivia] Just come on, let's go.
(uneasy music)
What the f*ck?
Oh my God.
(message beeps)
Now who is that?
Like, what could seriously
be so important right now?
What?
Like, is there something
you don't want me to see?
No, of course not.
Lemme see it.
Here.
Right? Classic Naomi, huh?
Hmm.
(shards clinking)
Oh yeah, baby. Woo!
Oh yeah. I can just flip here for sure.
(Syd giggling)
I wanna play a little game I like to call
Make Out With Your Friends.
Ew.
[John] (puffs) Prude.
Seriously, that didn't
freak you out at all?
Nah. They'll check it out.
(water splashing)
What the f*ck?
Great. It's broken.
What the f*ck was that?
You've been staring
at them all night long.
If you're like Gabe,
let's make him jealous.
(uneasy music)
(dark seductive music)
(dark seductive music continues)
It was just a bluff, right?
What?
The proposal.
I mean, you wouldn't have
actually asked my Mom that.
Would you?
Would you have wanted me to?
I wanna be with you.
I mean, I know we're so
young, but you're my person.
You're my person too.
I mean, I guess I was just kind of scared
of my Mom's opinion.
You know, her standards, her expectations.
They followed me around my whole life.
And I just don't want any of
that noise to come between us.
Well, then don't let it.
You know, we're together
because it makes us happy.
And that's exactly what I
would've told her on the phone.
(floors creaking)
(uneasy music)
(uneasy music continues)
I guess, John was right.
Must have been the wind.
The breeze from this
room knocked over a vase
in the living room?
Well, I don't know.
We just checked the whole house, didn't we?
(water sloshing)
(Gabe clears throat)
What the what f*ck?
No more drinks for you.
Or what?
'Cause she possibly
couldn't make out with me
unless she was drunk?
Correct. (John chuckles)
Did you guys open a
window in the bedroom?
I don't remember.
It's possible, bro.
Okay. Well you guys good
to move this party inside?
- Yeah.
- Fine by me.
(water splashing)
Oh my God! (Laughing)
There is nothing like the
moment you realize you're drunk.
Okay, well be careful.
I'm not responsible for you
just 'cause we swapped spit.
Oh, give me a break. Shots!
[Syd] Oh my God.
Geez, babe. If you want a
pair of my panties, just ask.
I didn't do that.
What?
I didn't do that.
Gabe, not matter or anything,
but like, is this some sort of hint?
First off, I wouldn't go
through stuff without asking you.
And second of all, I wouldn't use weird
and childish hints to have
sex with you, that's kinda-
Okay. I get it.
I'm sorry.
(g*n bangs)
(glass shatters) (tense music)
What the?
Oh my God! Oh my God, John!
What the f*ck did you just do?
Why would you do that?
[Olivia] What the f*ck?
What the hell happened?
f*cking genius here shot the light.
A case is already open.
Wait, what?
Why, you don't believe me?
We should report it.
A g*n shouldn't be one
of the featured amenities.
Yeah, regardless. It's not a f*cking toy.
So put the g*n down.
"It's not a f*cking toy."
You as*h*le! We're gonna
have to pay for that, you know?
Gabe is right. Let's put the g*n down.
You gotta relax.
I'll chip in.
Oh, how very generous of you.
Do you ever stop for one second and realize
how self-centered you are?
Oh, I'm self-centered? Damn.
Look in the mirror, babe.
Watch it.
You are here with your three best friends
who cleared their entire schedules
just to make you feel
better about your shitty life.
Syd skipped out on a
master's certification course
just to be here.
You know that?
Oh, and Gabe, correct me if I'm wrong,
but I believe that the
first chapter of thesis
was due last week.
But you need an extension
just to be Liv's emotional support pillow.
I know these things because
I f*cking pay attention.
And my face isn't glued to
the phone 24-f*cking-seven
looking for validation on social media.
I mean, why the f*ck does it matter
what people online think of you?
What matters is what
your friends think of you.
You know what I think?
I think if anyone here is
an as*h*le, it's you, Liv.
Put the g*n down.
- Sure, buddy.
- Seriously.
No, too slow.
Gimme the f*cking g*n.
I'm just f*cking around, bro.
I'm f*cking around-(grunts)
Guys, stop. Stop it.
You're gonna hurt each other! Stop it!
Gabe, no! Gabe, stop it!
Gabe!
Oh my God, no!
Gabe, stop!
No! (John groans)
(John grunts)
Everybody just... Everybody
just needs to cool off.
(John grunts)
(curtain swooshes)
(typewriter clicking)
Hello?
(uneasy music)
Jesus Christ, John, give it a break.
(John spits)
(water trickling)
(John exhales)
(uneasy music)
Did you really give up
the Reiki certification?
I had no idea. I am so sorry.
It's okay. I was happy
to come to be with you.
I would do anything for you, Liv.
I know.
Actually I-(steps tapping)
- Where's John?
- Kitchen.
Cleaning up.
We should probably check on him.
Hey, are you done being psychopathic
or do you need another minute?
I'm done.
Thank God.
(bulb hissing) (Olivia shrieks)
[John] Oh my God!
I told you, I told you
there's something sketch here.
It's just the light.
Don't "it's just the light" to me.
This place is messed up.
Oh, please.
The only thing that's messed up here
is your pathetic infatuation with Gabe.
What?
- Oh sh*t.
- What?
[John] You guys didn't know?
[Gabe] Stop it.
Yeah.
Stop it.
Sabrina the Teenage Witch over here
is clearly in love with Gabe,
trying to make him jealous all night long.
Won't be surprised if she
had a little love potion brew
in the back too.
Is that true?
You like Gabe?
Well, you could figure this sh*t out.
I'm gonna go look for a breaker.
Well, Syd, I'm... I don't know-
It's not you.
(uneasy music)
Oh sh*t.
What the f*ck?
(chains clanking)
What the f*ck?
(Olivia exhales)
Okay.
Um, it's hard, 'cause
like you're the only one
that really like gets me.
And it's just really rare to find someone
that doesn't try to change you.
(Syd sobbing)
I just don't wanna lose you.
And I don't wanna lose you either.
But I don't feel the same way. I love Gabe.
I know.
I know.
You're my best friend and
I think I'm just really scared
we're gonna drift apart after graduation.
I know.
But that is a lot of pressure
to put on a friendship,
to expect things to stay the same forever.
They won't. It's just how it is.
But people do change.
Yeah.
Well, no matter what
we're doing or where we are,
I'm still gonna call you every Sunday
with your weekly horoscope.
I couldn't live without it.
(rattling)
Did you hear that?
(foot stomps)
John?
You here?
John?
(John growls) f*ck!
[John] (chuckles) Come
on, dude. I got you so good!
[Gabe] Dude.
Oh, consider a payback.
You know you're an as*h*le, right?
Bro, that was just lying on the ground.
The owners must be
into some kinky sh*t, huh?
Why is everything a joke to you?
I'm just having some fun.
Okay. So that's what this is about?
You're just f*cking like
jealous that I grew the f*ck up.
What is?
[John] Bro.
Huh?
I don't wanna pull this sh*t out,
but you were pissing
me off more than usual.
Oh yeah? Pull what out?
And if anyone should
be jealous, it's you.
Okay. I have no idea
what you're talking about.
You wanna tell me?
She seriously never told you?
(John exhales)
Me and Liv, we...
You know.
I don't believe you.
But it did happen,
the freshman year, before
you two were together.
No.
We tell each other
everything. She wouldn't have...
She would've told me.
So you did tell her about
you being late for your thesis
or about how stressed you've been,
or about how you can
barely keep your sh*t together,
let alone hers?
All I'm saying is I just don't know
if you two are right for each other.
Yeah, well, lucky I'm not looking
for relationship advice from you.
So why don't we just
get through this weekend,
then we can stop pretending
like we still enjoy each
other's company, yeah?
Fine.
Okay. Whatever.
(crickets chirping)
Let's look outside.
(crickets chirping)
(uneasy music)
Oh f*ck, no!
(tense music) (John grunting)
(shovel clanking)
(attacker grunts)
(John screams)
(John screams)
(John screams)
What's that? Was that John?
I don't know. He was right behind me.
(all screaming)
Holy sh*t. Holy sh*t.
- John!
- It's okay.
Just breathe. Breathe.
We need to get into the hospital right now.
We're all too drunk to drive.
I can drive, I promise. I
stopped drinking a while ago.
John, we're gonna pull
you off this thing. Okay?
On the count of three.
Hold it. One-
[Together] Two, three!
(John screams)
What the f*ck?
[Olivia] What the hell
happened in there? Oh my God!
What the f*ck?
f*ck, f*ck, f*ck!
[Olivia] What do we do? What do we do?
Take him inside.
Put him on the couch.
Okay, someone, call 911.
My phone fell in the hot tub.
Liv, you call. I didn't bring my phone.
Why can't you do it?
I didn't bring my phone.
I didn't bring my phone.
The f*ck?
I told you I wanted to unplug.
Jesus Christ, Gabe, just
say you're gonna unplug
and then reduce your screen time
for four hours to three
hours, like a normal person!
Don't actually leave your phone behind!
[Gabe] You know, that's rich, Olivia.
[Olivia] Excuse me?
[Gabe] You are mad at me?
What are you talking about?
I know you f*cked John freshman year.
[Olivia] Gabe!
No, I mean like, were
you ever gonna tell me
what the f*ck else don't I know about you?
Okay. I know that you're
upset about this right now,
but do you really think
this is the right time-
Shut the f*ck up and call 911!
Where's my phone? What the f*ck?
You don't have it?
Okay. Seriously, guys, this is not funny.
Where is my phone?
How would we know? When
was the last time you had it?
I don't know. I don't know.
Wait, when my Mom
texted? No, no, no, no, no.
I had it before that.
I... I don't know.
Maybe he took it.
Why the f*ck would he take your phone?
You heard him.
You heard him earlier with
that high and mighty speech.
He's probably trying to teach me a lesson.
Where is it, John? Where is it?
Stop! He doesn't know!
Let's use his. Check his pockets.
Come on... It's not here.
John, John, I need your
phone, man. Come on.
f*ck! I'm gonna look for a landline.
Seriously?
[Gabe] And you never know.
(tense music)
What is that?
Just looking for something useful.
f*ck.
(uneasy music)
(Gabe panting)
(uneasy music continues)
[Olivia] Oh f*ck.
What the f*ck?
Holy sh*t!
What the f*ck is-
(tense suspenseful music)
- f*ck!
- John!
No! John!
- f*ck.
- John!
Oh my God, what the f*ck?!
(Gabe groans)
- Gabe! Gabe!
- f*ck!
(Gabe groans)
(tense music)
You're fine, you're fine, you're fine.
You're okay. (Sobbing)
I'm sorry.
(tense dark music)
(tense dark music continues)
(branch cracks)
(Syd panting)
(footsteps tapping)
(tense dark music continues)
(tense dark music continues)
(tense music)
No, no! Oh no!
(Syd screams)
(soft airy music)
[Olivia] Oh my God, Syd!
(Syd gags)
(trap snaps) (Olivia screams)
(Syd gags)
(Olivia whining)
Syd!
Syd!
Oh no! I'm sorry!
(Olivia crying)
(Olivia muttering)
I'm sorry, Syd. I'm sorry.
(Olivia groans)
Don't come any closer.
I am in charge now, not you.
Take her body back to the cabin.
We need to get our story straight.
(dramatic music)
(ominous music)
What part about no one gets
hurt did you not understand?
This is f*cking insane.
We had a plan: A simple home invasion.
You break in, you rough me
up a little bit and you get out.
I post about it. My friends corroborate.
People feel sorry for me
and I get my followers back.
That was what we f*cking agreed on.
That's what I f*cking paid you for.
What are you doing?
(body thuds)
(uneasy music)
I'm assuming this is
who you are talking about.
(tense music)
This is what you were
paying him to do, right?
(tense music continues)
(dark ominous music)
(dark ominous music continues)
(dark ominous music continues)
Hello?
[Hired Scarer] Is everyone there yet?
Say hello if the answer is yes,
say who is this if we're
waiting on anyone else.
Hello.
[Hired Scarer] Bye,
Olivia. I'll see you soon.
(dish shatters)
(dark ominous music continues)
[Attacker] It's what
you hired him to do, right?
Well, if he's dead... Who are you?
My name is Cyrus.
Cyrus? Do I know you?
Cyrus... Cyrus...
Is Cyrus as in Daizy's boyfriend?
You ruined her life.
I am so, so sorry about
what happened to Daizy,
but it was not my fault.
She's a monster.
I can't even look at her.
You k*lled my friends over this?!
You gonna k*ll me over this?
I need you to suffer like she suffered.
Like I am suffering.
How did you find me?
(Cyrus laughing)
You made it so easy
tagging your location.
(soft uneasy music)
(soft uneasy music continues)
(tire puffs)
(blade slashes)
Oh! No!
f*ck!
(Cyrus growling)
Wait! No!
Please!
Stop. (Gags)
(tense music)
(Gabe punches) (Cyrus screams and thuds)
(Olivia panting)
Gabe! You're alive.
No, don't, don't, don't
touch me. Don't touch me.
I thought you were dead.
Don't look at me like that.
No, tell me it's not true, Olivia.
Tell me none of it's true.
You hired some random f*cking stranger
to terrorize us so you could
get attention on social media?
It's more complicated than that.
No, it's not. Syd and John are dead.
They're not dead because of what I did.
They're dead because that man
is a psychopathic k*ller out for revenge.
You f*cking brought us here.
You f*cking brought us here
'cause your stupid little f*cking plan.
It was never supposed to be like this.
I feel like I don't know you like at all.
I feel like I've never f*cking known you.
Gabe, please. I love you.
[Gabe] No, if you love
someone, you don't trick them
and scheme and f*cking
put their life at risk.
Olivia, you know, you also don't,
you don't hide secrets from
them for years and years.
Gabe!
You're the only girl I've ever been with
to find out your first time
was with one of my best friends
and you never told me?
Like five hours ago you went on about
how virginity is a social construct.
So which is it?
Are you the hip progressive boyfriend
or the jealous possessive one?
Neither, because
we're f*cking done, Olivia.
Just wait a minute,
okay? We can talk about it.
There's nothing to talk about.
What's there to talk about?
There's nothing to f*cking talk about.
Gabe.
Listen. Gabe, listen.
Okay, Gabe, just-
(glass shatters)
Are you crazy?
Wait, please, Gabe, just wait.
You can't go. Please listen!
f*ck, Gabe, I'm sorry.
I am so, so sorry. Okay?
I know how this looks, but we
can work through this, okay?
We can get through this.
No one has to know what
actually happened here.
This could be good for both of us.
You need f*cking help,
Olivia. You need help.
A lot of f*cking help.
Please wait, Gabe. Please-
Put it down. Put it down.
f*cking put it... Please, don't leave me.
- Give it, Liv.
- No!
[Gabe] Give it-
(Gabe grunts)
(blood squirting)
- (screams) f*ck!
Please don't hurt me! Please!
(Olivia screaming)
(blood squirting) (Gabe gargling)
(Olivia crying)
(dark uneasy music)
(dark uneasy music continues)
Hi.
I am really scared right now.
All of my friends are dead.
We came up here for a weekend glamping trip
and someone broke in and
he started tormenting us.
And he k*lled them.
And I didn't know if I was
gonna make it out alive.
I'm really scared right
now. Please send help.
(soft gentle music)
(soft gentle music continues)
(soft gentle music continues)
(dark airy music) (singer vocalizing)
(dark airy music continues)
(dark airy music continues)
(dark airy music continues)
(dark airy music continues)
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