01x06 - We All Fall Down

[bunniefuu]

[PHONE RINGING, VIBRATING]

[PHONE RINGING, VIBRATING]

[PHONE RINGING, VIBRATING]

[MARCUS NARRATING] Yeah, looking back

now, for as long as

I can remember, like,

I don't think I ever

really truly loved myself.

Not really anyway, like, not

the way you're supposed to.

I was never taught how.

Instead, I learnt to love the money

and all the shiny things it brought.

The cars, the watches, the

jewellery, the fancy clothes.

All of the things that made me

feel like I was someone special.

You know, that made me look like

I was actually worth something,

when in reality, the truth was

underneath all of the fancy sh*t

I felt worthless, man,

like I was insecure.

And the money, well

Well, the money just

helped cover it all up.

[DOOR OPENS]

But like everything else in this

world, nothing lasts forever.

And when that money goes, well

Well, see, there's something

about when a man is stripped bare.

Naked of everything, all his

possessions, all his shiny things.

His money and wealth included.

When that happens, there's

something that forces that man

to take a good look at himself.

And, like, see what really defines him,

see what makes him tick.

And see, often, when that happens,

when that situation occurs,

and we're forced to take

a good look in that mirror,

we end up not liking the person

we see staring straight back at us.

Sometimes, in fact, we

actually end up hating them

and by them, I mean hating ourselves.

So that's how it goes.

The guy stopped opposite you

at the traffic lights, like,

that person you walk past on

your way to the corner store.

We dislike them, these total strangers,

for no other reason than we

recognise a part of ourselves in them.

They're a reflection of our

own hate towards ourselves.

So there lies the problem.

As corny as it might sound,

we'll only really learn to

love ourselves, our real selves,

when we finally learn

to stop hating each other

and that's the truth.

[MOTORBIKE ENGINE ROARS]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

The hate we have for each other

stops us from loving ourselves, like,

stops us from growing as

a people, from uniting.

I'm the reason you make money.

It sounds strange, but

Because, like, think of

a house of cards, right?

Like, by themselves each card

is just like a regular card,

but when you put each card together,

like, you start to build something,

something bigger, better even.

We need to be like that, man.

Like a house of cards, every

one of us working together.

Supporting each other, little

by little, piece by piece.

I mean, love, like,

love is a strong word,

we don't have to love each other

straight away, that'll come in time

but the hate has to stop, man.

It has to stop now.

Cos it's k*lling us, man,

more and more each day.

So, yeah.

Yeah, we need to be

like a house of cards.

f*cking house of cards, man.

Cos if one falls, then they all fall.

We all fall down.

Oi, you little dickhead,

what you doing out here?

Why you not at school?

We just came back from lunch.

I was gonna get my bike.

What you mean "we"? You think

it's some kind of game or suttin'?

These man don't even

go to f*cking school.

Do you wanna be like

these man, yeah? Wastemen.

Listen, get your bike and get

your skinny arse back to school.

Don't let me ever catch

you out here again, yeah?

Cos I'll embarrass you.

[KISSES TEETH]

Fool.

[KISSES TEETH] Ay, your

brother's a wasteman.

[DOG BARKING]

[MACHINERY WHIRRING]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER ON LOUDSPEAKER]

Marcus.

Wagwan.

Been hiding under any cars lately?

[LAUGHTER]

Allow it, man. You left me.

What you talking about?

Man didn't leave you.

Man had to circle the block twice,

come back and you was gone, fam.

I used it.

What?

What do you mean you used it, blud?

Used it on who and where?

- When you left me.

- What you talking about?

Yesterday, I got spotted.

They ducked man down again.

You man left me out there by myself.

I was out there in the

trenches on my own, bro.

How could you do that to me?

You didn't call me, bro.

You didn't call me,

you didn't circle back.

Almost lost my life, bro. Again!

What do you mean "again"?

Furthermore, wait.

So, who did you hit?

You bust my dawg, you use

my khan, like khan's cheap.

Who did you hit, fam?

I was on my one's, bro,

lacking, bro, you weren't there.

Who did you hit, blud?

- I had to do suttin', man.

- Who did you hit?

[g*ng MEMBER] Brudda, did

you not hear what he said?

He said, "Who did you hit?"

They was ducking me,

bro, what'd you mean?

I had to let it off in the sky.

[LAUGHTER]

[g*ng MEMBER] Man is a jokeman!

Hold on, hold on, wait.

So you come in here, yeah,

all pumped up, breathing

heavy, gassed and that,

acting like you done the mad ting.

When really you let

it off in the sky, fam?

[LAUGHTER]

You probably hit a

bird or suttin', blud.

You weren't there, bro.

You didn't even call me, bro,

all you had to do was call me.

Oi, you think man give a sh*t about

what you're talking about, blud? Huh?

You think man care

about all this bullshit.

You coming in here crying

like some little baby.

What, have me and you

got a problem, fam?

Have we?

Yo, cos if we do, ya know,

you can't come back round

here, you understand?

You hear me?

Not you, your crackhead

mum, none of that.

This is my ends, I run

round here, you feel me?

Can get you got at any time, bro.

All I got to do is say the word.

You know what? Furthermore, yeah,

I might even make your little

brother do it for me, fam.

[g*ng MEMBER] That's a good idea.

Leave my little brother out of it, man.

Man, shut up, man.

Your little brother's working

with the g*ng now, you feel me.

Leave him, man. He's only a little kid.

Blud, he ain't no kid,

he's on more than you.

Feel me?

He's got nuttin' to do with it, man.

It's between me and you.

Blud, are you stupid?

I've just told you, your little

brother's part of the team now.

He's g*ng, innit.

Do you know what?

Furthermore, I'm out.

You're damn right you're out, bro.

You're fired. [LAUGHS]

Cos I said so.

Little p*ssy, blud.

Dickhead.

[g*ng MEMBER] Fam, you

n*gg*s get no chicks anyway.

How about that for a

f*cking conversation, blud?

Ay, shut up, bro. This guy's

always talking 'bout gettin' tings.

What tings do you even get?

What? You ain't see me with that

muddled b*tch from last week?

[SIGHS] Bro, I can't even lie to

you, she was not feeling your ting.

You know, f*ck you anyway.

If b*tches was to come through here

anyway, I know we can't get sh*t

cos you is looking dusty as

f*ck and f*cking up my sh*t!

Look at this little n*gga's

f*cking bike as well!

What type of f*cking

'79 Caprice looking,

World Cup losing arse 1986

f*cking bike is this sh*t?

What the f*ck is this, blud?

Hey, you know what? f*ck that.

Keep doing all the good work you do,

and I'mma put you on. I'ma get

you the Benz of bikes, yeah?

Nah, man. Stacks is a p*ssy, fam.

I ain't even rolling with

them man no more anyway,

man, like. [KISSES TEETH]

Man ain't into it no more still,

like, them man don't care 'bout me.

You ever seen a stack

like this, G? Yeah?

You ever seen your parents

with some sh*t like this?

You know who this is?

[DANIAL] Nah.

This is the richest man

that the world ever seen, G.

Black man. African man.

- Musa Mensa.

- Bro! Shut up, bro!

Musa Mensa didn't sell no f*cking

GD to get all that money, did he?

Every n*gga starts from somewhere, G.

[HE LAUGHS]

Yeah, man, like

Man needs to do better,

man, you get me, like?

This time I actually

want to try it, like.

Ay, boss, stop the car!

Stop the car! Stop the car!

And for me, it's just that GD.

[TENSE MUSIC]

f*ck is this little n*gga going anyway?

Who's this n*gga?

Where's he f*cking gone?

I said where's he f*cking gone, huh?

I don't know my n*gga.

We're just chilling.

I said where the f*ck is he,

'fore I slap all you man

up, now! You lot dumb? Huh?

I don't know, fam,

we were just chillin'.

What'd you mean chillin'?

What'd you mean chillin', bro?

Are you mad? That's my little brother!

I don't want to see none of

you man anywhere near him, yeah?

Not on the block! Not

in school! Nowhere!

Make sure you man walk on when

you see him! Ignore him, yeah?

f*cking dickheads, blud!

Stay the f*ck away from him!

Hey, yo, watch!

I'mma tell Stacks you gripped me

up, you little f*ck n*gga, man!

Predator looking m*therf*cker!

Hey, bro. How'd you let a

man grips you up like that?

Oh, fam, it is what it is, you get me?

Man can't be a gangster

in all situations.

I'll get him back.

[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]

Yo, Mum.

[VIVIAN] Marcus, baby, is

that you? You all right?

Yeah, it's me. I'm good.

Have you heard Dan come in yet?

Yeah.

No no, I don't think so.

Ah do you know, I

actually can't remember.

I've just been sleeping all day.

Baby, I'm not feeling

too good, you know?

My head's hurting and

I'm feeling kind of weak.

Erm, Marcus, baby, do you

think that you could, erm

Look. Look, Mum.

I've gotta go, man.

It's Danial, he

[KISSES TEETH] Ah, forget it.

- [TRAIN RATTLING]

- [DOG BARKS]

[FOOTSTEPS]

Mum, do you love us?

Like, do you actually really love us?

I don't think you do.

I don't think you ever did, you know?

And like, I get it.

It's not even about me no more.

I've gone through it. I swear.

Like, I'm OK with it now, you know?

I've dealt with it. You not loving me.

But Danial.

He loves you and he needs you.

He f*cking misses you,

but he'll never admit it.

I promise you he does.

It's about time you started

acting like a f*cking mum!

You need to be better, man!

You need to do better!

You need to be better!

He's only f*cking eight years old, man!

- He needs his mum!

- f*ck off!

It's always about you

f*cking guys, yeah?

Huh? Do you think I'm happy like this?

I'm in pain, man.

Can't you understand that, like,

can't you just see it, like?

I'm in pain.

Nah, you're f*cking selfish.

That's what you are.

And you know what I see?

All I see is a f*cking dead woman.

You're f*cking dead to me.

Ah, you what, you're f*cking

f*ck' Mr High and Mighty,

what you think you're

better than me, innit?

No, you ain't no better

than me, you know?

[MANIC LAUGH]

You're not better than me.

You're a loser.

You're a f*cking loser.

You ain't nothing, you're

absolutely nothing, yeah?

I f*cking wish you were gone, man!

I f*cking wish you were dead, man!

Then I wouldn't have to

f*cking see your f*cking

- f*cking face a !

- [DOOR SLAMS]

[SOBBING]

[MARCUS] So now that's off my chest,

I guess I just want to say thank you.

Lickle man, wagwan, my G.

What you saying? You good, yeah?

Gonna get all the girls at

school and that, you get me?

Even though school's a fool's game.

Yo, Dan, come out!

Come out the car, bruv!

What this eediyat doing,

blud? Is he all right?

Yo, I'm being serious, man.

Come out the f*cking car, bro.

D'you think I'm playing with

you? You're getting me mad!

You're all right, man. Just chill out.

Come out the car, Danial, bruv!

[SOMBRE MUSIC]

[PHONE BEEPS]

[VOICEMAIL] You have one new message.

First new message.

[MARCUS] So you're probably

thinking to yourself,

when is this boy gonna

stop messaging me?

[CHUCKLES] Good question.

Well, you'll be glad

to know that this is

probably gonna be my

last message to you,

unless you actually choose

to message me back this time,

and, well, if you do message me back

then I guess I'll message you

back too, innit, and then

Listen I just wanted to get some

things off my chest real quick, yeah?

You don't even have to

listen to this to be fair,

but I wanted to say it.

[SIGHS] So, here goes.

Danial, come out the f*cking car, bro!

Listen, I ain't got time for this

sh*t, bro. I didn't ask for this.

I'm tired, man!

- [STACKS LAUGHING]

- Huh? I'm like a dad to you, bruv!

I didn't ask for this sh*t.

I got my own life to sort out.

I'm not your dad. I'm not your mum.

I'm me, bro, Marcus!

And you got me running around

looking after you every day,

bringing you to school, making your bed.

Bro, who's looking

after me, bro? No one!

Do you know how it feels

to not have anyone, huh?

sh*t f*cking hurts, man.

Look, bro,

I know the setup we

have ain't easy, man.

Me and you, like, what we have to

go through with Mum and that, like.

I know it was tough,

I've made some big

mistakes along the way, man.

I don't want you to make

the same mistakes I did, bro.

And do you know what?

I know it's easy to blame

Mum for everything, bro,

what we've been through and that but

In life you can't keep

blaming your mistakes

on other people and circumstances.

I've done that for as

long as I can remember now

and it hasn't got me anywhere.

Like, I'm tired of it, man.

[KISSES TEETH] I used to

have this feeling inside me,

it was like a frustration and anger.

It k*lled all the dreams and

passions that I ever had, you know?

And I felt like, like f*ck it,

I'm hurt so I want

everyone else to hurt too.

I just felt so angry inside, man.

I was always angry,

always so angry and

We can't keep being angry,

bro. We can't be angry no more.

Not at Mum, not at each other,

not at anything, I swear.

Listen, this ain't life.

We're gonna look back at this situation

in ten years and we're

gonna realise, bro.

I know it's hard to understand

now but, I promise you, man.

You've just gotta believe it.

You see guys like

see guys like that, bro,

they'll never tell you this, fam, yeah?

They'll never admit it, bro.

Cos they don't know their

own f*cking selves, man.

They're lost boys, and

they turn into lost men.

Don't listen to him, man.

The cycle just goes on and on and

on and on and it will never stop.

It will just keep going.

I want better for you, bro.

More than you can ever imagine.

I've been thinking like that

for the past weeks still,

and at first it made me

upset, I'm not even gonna lie.

I've kind of grown used

to us talking and stuff,

but today I've been thinking more.

And do you know what?

I'm OK with it now. I'm OK.

Do you know I remember

reading something once.

I can't remember where I read it,

but it went something like this.

Sometimes God brings someone into

your life for a period of time,

a period of time that's just right.

You may want that person to

stay in your life for longer

but that's not what they're there for.

That's not their purpose. They

have a job, to help fix you.

I was broken.

I didn't even know it

myself, but I was, you know.

You saw that and you helped fix me.

I'm better now. I'm better than I was.

And if that's the only outcome

of you and me, I mean, like,

all that's ever been written

for us, then that's enough.

So now that's off my chest,

I guess I just wanted say thank you.

Please, please, please, please, please.

Answer your phone,

Marcus, answer your phone!

We've been through a lot.

Look at where we are, bro.

Look how far we've come.

We're still here, we're still fighting.

sh*t! Marcus!

f*ck!

[PHONE RINGING]

- I'm proud of you.

- [PHONE RINGING]

I'm proud of us.

I love you, man.

[LAUGHTER]

[PHONE RINGING]

[VOICEMAIL] Please leave

your message after the

[PHONE RINGING]

[TENSE SWELL]

[VOICEMAIL] Please leave

your message after the tone.

Press any key to end.

- [TONE DIAL]

- Marcus! They're coming for you!

Run!

[TENSE MUSIC]

[TYRES SCREECH]

[g*nf*re]

[g*nf*re]

[b*llet WHISTLES]

[TYRES SCREECH]

[SCREAMING]

[CAR ALARM]

[WOMAN] No! No! No!

[LOUD BANGING]

[SOBBING]

My door like that.

Danial, if you've forgotten

your f*cking key, I swear!

What the f*ck is going on!

Viv, quick! Marcus has been shot.

He's down near mine. Come quick.

What? Marcus! Marcus!

- [VIVIAN] Did you call an ambulance?

- [SCREAMING, CRYING]

[SOMBRE MUSIC]

[SCREAMING AND SHOUTING]

[SIREN WAILS]

God! Oh, God! Please, Marcus, OK, OK.

- [VIVIAN] Stay with me.

- [INDISTINCT CRYING]

Who did this to you?

[CRYING, MUMBLING]

[CRYING, PEOPLE CLAMOURING]

[VIVIAN] Baby! Oh, baby, please, please!

[VIVIAN SOBBING]

[VIVIAN] No, don't, don't, don't!

Don't!

Oh, my God!

No! No, no, no, no!

Marcus, please!

Oh, Marcus!

[SOMBRE MUSIC]

[NO AUDIBLE DIALOGUE]

Marcus!

Yo, what's good?

I heard about your brother,

man. Keep your head up.

[DOOR SHUTS]

[FOREBODING SWELL]

[DOOR CREAKS]

Mum! Mum!

Please, I'm sorry.

Mum!

I'm sorry! Just get up!

Are you hungry, Mum?

I'll get you some food,

but you need to wake up!

You need to get up!

I'm sorry!

Wake up. Mum, I'm sorry!

Get up!

I'm so sorry.

[PHONE RINGING]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[MAN] Hey, Danial. I want

you to meet Mrs Palmer.

OK, she's going to be looking after

you and taking care of everything,

so you don't have to

worry about a thing, OK?

Now I want you to be a

brave, strong boy for me,

and any problems, you

let Mrs Palmer know, OK?

We'll get through this and

I'll see you soon, all right?

I'll call you, yeah?

[MRS PALMER] How are

you feeling, my love?

Still not up for talking much?

It's OK, sometimes I don't

feel like talking either.

But listen up, we have

a date to go check out

your brand new home today, OK?

Shall we go?

You're a really lucky boy, Danial.

I didn't know my dad growing up.

He died before I was born.

Your dad sounds super

excited to have you.

I bet you'll have absolutely

loads to talk about.

[SLIM] sh*t then, you've

grown a lot, innit?

[SLIM] Nah, nah, don't

worry, man, he's cool.

He's a big boy now.

[DOOR SHUTS]

- [WILLOW] Still gonna go link my man?

- [SLIM] Yeah, yeah.

I just gotta sort out this first, man.

Do you want me to go?

Nah, nah, nah. I'll deal with it.

Follow me if you want though.

All right cool. I'm gonna wait outside.

- All right, cool.

- Nice one.

[DOOR OPENS]

[DOOR CLOSES]

[SLIM] So look, basically,

you're living with me now, yeah?

So, I'm gonna run some rules

and regulations past you,

just so we don't bump heads.

First thing,

no smoking in this yard,

only I do that sh*t.

Second, no girls in this house.

Only I do that sh*t, you hear me?

And if I catch you

doing any type of sh*t,

and I mean any type of

sh*t that I don't like,

you're in big trouble, you hear me?

All right, good.

Good.

Look, man, I heard what

happened to your bro.

Some sad sh*t, man, and

I feel it for you still.

But he knew what he was

getting himself into.

It's just the roads.

Just the way it is, man.

But in this house,

we keep it respectful,

and we stick by the rules. Understand?

Look, man, I know we don't really

know each other that much, man.

It's kinda my fault still,

and your mum's, to be fair.

But I'm your dad,

and we can't change that.

But look, the room you're

gonna be staying in,

up the hallway on the left,

not the one on the right.

And don't ever let me catch

you going in there, you hear me?

And before you say anything,

it's kind of mad in there still.

But we'll pattern it up.

Paint it blue or buy you some toys,

or whatever type of sh*t you kids like.

But we'll work it.

[SIGHS]

[ZIPPING]

Look, I gotta hit the road for a bit,

sort out some politics.

Fix yourself some food, man,

or watch some telly or suttin'.

But we good from earlier, you

understood the conversation, yeah?

All right, cool.

There's some food in the fridge,

but don't touch the smoked

salmon and the pineapple juice!

That's my sh*t.

[DOOR OPENS]

[DOOR CLOSES]

[DOOR OPENS]

[ETHEREAL MUSIC]

[SIGHS]

[SHOWER DRIPPING]

- [FLOORBOARDS CREAK]

- [DOOR CLOSES]

[SLIM] Yo. Yo, get up, man!

It's late, you know,

you know what time it is?

I've been gone for like two

hours and you're still sleeping.

No lazy ting in this yard, you know, G?

[KISSES TEETH]

Furthermore, go shop.

Get some pineapple juice and some milk,

and whatever else you

wanna eat for dinner.

Make sure you bring back my change, man.

Sleeping at this time,

you've lost your mind.

[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]

[FOREBODING MUSIC]

[MARCUS NARRATING] It was never

meant to be like this, you know.

It was never the intention anyway.

Despite what they might tell you.

[ANGELIC CHOIR]

I mean, we were all kids once,

right? Like, every one of us.

Kids with ambitions and

wild dreams and imaginations.

We never wanted to be

dropouts or drug dealers

and prostit*tes and murderers,

g*ng members, addicts.

Failures.

[SOMBRE MUSIC]

We never chose that life,

not intentionally anyway.

It kinda chose us.

We just stood by and let

it happen, that's all.

Didn't do anything to change it.

And so here we are.

Like wolves, we live

by instinct, day to day.

Yet like sheep, we follow

the same pattern, day to day.

My heart's heavy,

man. I'm feeling tired.

[SLIM CHATTING INDISTINCTLY]

[SLIM] Hold on, hold on, hold on.

Yo! Leave the change on the table!

[SLIM TALKING INDISTINCTLY]

[DOORBELL RINGS]

[SLIM] Fifteen minutes, they said.

Twenty f*cking minutes,

to like an hour, now.

[DOOR OPENS]

[CAR HORN IN THE DISTANCE]

[CHORAL MUSIC]

[DOOR CLOSES]

Side by side by side ♪

Side by side by side ♪

[MARCUS] Who can we blame,

when all the opps are dead or in jail,

or when all our so-called

brothers have moved on,

who are now just some distant strangers?

Who do we point the finger at then,

when there's no one else

left for us to still hate,

but yet there's still

so much hate left in us?

What excuse will we have then?

Maybe that's the only time

we'll be forced to see the truth,

that it was us.

Me and you.

We were really hating

ourselves all along.

It's always been us.

Breathe.

[TYRES SQUEAL]

[g*nf*re, BANGING ON THE DOOR]

[SLIM'S MUFFLED VOICE] Yo, get the door!

Tell them I ain't giving

them no more money, man.

[SLIM'S VOICE GETS CLEARER]

Dead pizza's cold anyway, again.

Taking the piss, man.

[MARCUS] And you know the maddest thing?

Most people don't even know,

like, they haven't got a clue

about what it took.

The things you've had to overcome,

the strength it's taken just

to be where you are right now.

[LOUD BANGING]

Battered, yeah, bruised,

maybe, but still in the fight.

Still breathing.

I said breathe.

We only see the here and now, like,

a snapshot at a given

point in your life, but

Nah, they don't get the full picture.

Not at all.

[LOUD BANGING]

[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

real tight. Look.

[MARCUS] They have no true

idea where you've been,

what you've been through or

where you're heading even,

but still they judge, comment

and just write you off.

They can't see past

the strange appearance,

the aggression, the revealing clothes,

the destructive behaviour, the

hoodies, the drug addiction.

Where's your dad?

And why?

Did they ask themselves why,

like why all these things?

Does it occur to them that maybe

you're just not OK right now,

like, you're damaged, you've been

broken and you want to get better

but it's taken every single

ounce of your determination,

every single bit of your strength,

your courage, just to try and be OK,

just to function as normal,

hold it all together in

one piece, just to breathe.

[g*nsh*t]

[SLUMPING, GLASS SHATTERING]

[g*nshots]

[BROKEN GLASS CRUNCHES UNDERFOOT]

[SOMBRE MUSIC]

[MARCUS] Nah. Probably not, right?

And why should it?

Like I said, most

people don't even know,

like, they haven't got a clue.

It's right there, right

in front of them, but

they just can't see it.

And how could they?

See, it's not their eyes

that are blind at all.

No.

No, it's their hearts.

And remember, this was all just a story.

[SIGN CLINKING]

[THEME MUSIC]