If I Had Legs I'd Kick You (2025)

[bunniefuu]

Mommy is stretchable.

What do you mean by

stretchable? Daddy's hard. You can't

move him. He gets mad, and that's it.

Mommy gets mad, too, but she's more like

putty. She gets

tattoo. That's when it's the most stretch.

Putty. I wonder how is

it that you stretch her?

Can I. Can I talk now, please?

Is it okay if Mommy talks? Yep.

I'm not stretchable. I'm not

petty. That's her experience

of you. That isn't true. I try

very hard to be in control of her

and everything, but may as

well not even be there at all.

Well, perception is reality, so. Oh. So I

don't get sad. You seem sad right now.

You do seem sad right now.

We're here to talk about how to get

you better. All we do is

talk about me. I can be

sad. I mean, I'm allowed to be

sad, right? Of course. But you

must know that this is all tangled up

together, and you of all peoples should

know. I know, I know. But this.

This isn't how things

are going to get better.

Mommy, please don't

cry. No, no, I don't cry.

She.

We want the tube removed now, and to do

that, we need. No, she. She won't

do what she has to do because she

knows that she has the safety

net. Things are not stable enough

right now. It's clear that we have

different goals. You want her to get better

before the tube can be removed.

I think the tube needs to come out,

and then she can get better.

We all have the same goal here.

But what I'm learning as we're

talking all together is that you and I need

to spend some time, just

the two of us, without her here,

to talk about some serious issues.

I'm gonna need you to restart

the two things at night, and I

need you to start doing. Did you get the

kind with no cheese? I can't explain

this to you every time, sweetie. They would

just laugh at me and say, it's brunch.

Okay, I'll take the cheese off when

we get home. Of course. Is it

the kind with the little green black

things in the sauce? It's

the same kind we always get.

That kind of has the things in

the sauce. I can't. I can't eat it.

Like, can you, like, scrape,

or does it just mean who

wants it out? You have to be Jesus.

Oh.

Oh, you got your wish.

No cheese. Did you will that to happen?

Are you some kind of witch or something?

Okay, straight to the table.

Actually, no. Wash hands first.

And then straight to the table. No

one's making you go to the bathroom.

I'm just asking you to wash your

hands, please, like we always do.

Is Daddy coming? Where's Daddy? He said

maybe bedtime. Where did he go again?

He just got rocked for a

month. Mommy?

Yeah? I did have to go to the bathroom.

Okay, take a while.

It.

Nothing, Mom. I mean, on the floor.

Come quickly.

Are you coming,

Mommy? Oh,

my God. What? Why didn't

you call me as soon as you came

in here? I just noticed

because I had to go to the

bathroom so bad. I don't like how it feels

on my socks. Where's it coming from?

How cheap is it? Are we

gonna die? Is the house

gonna fall on top of us?

Mommy, can you lift me up and

carry me out? No, just.

Just. Just stay there, okay?

Just hold on. Why are you listening?

Just please stay on the toilet. O.

All right. Hey. Yeah, we just got

home. And you would not believe

Ra.

It.

Nothing is familiar. Real. Ever.

Every time I feel this way, I get

further and further away from being in

myself. Like I can never get back.

When you think about

time, how do you see it?

How do I see time?

Time is a series of things to get through.

Each goal is a clip. There's

nothing at the end of it.

But then it comes, and

there's just another clip.

Yo, you know about holotropic breathing,

yo, this is lit. Basically,

you trick your brain into

thinking it's dead when you see the

universe, you know what I'm saying?

So you don't feel paranoia,

guilt, something's wrong.

I mean, I've got a friend who

does, like, breaking and like that. N.

See what I'm saying? This is like

hyperventilating. When you die, they say you let

off this chemical. And when you're

dreaming, you let up the same chemical.

It's sort of like that, you know?

You make your brain think it's dead,

but being brain dead is still alive.

Holographic. Holotropic. Tropic.

Holotropic.

Is that real? What? The.

The dead brain thing. Oh, yeah. I mean,

I guess anything could

be real. Anything could be

too. You know what I'm saying?

But you know that feeling, like,

when you're not.

Yeah.

Are you making fun of me,

Miss? I don't even know you.

Okay, yes on these, but no on the wine.

Why the

law prohibits me from

selling you this wine right now.

But it isn't even two. It's 158.

Right. But by the time I ring

these up, it will Be best two.

It.

I'll just get the peanut

butter cups to put them in it.

I can't talk about this

anymore. I'm telling you. Please.

Hey. Hey. Look, if that's what

Dr. Spring thinks is best, then we

have to. Listen, there is no we,

though. It's just me. I. I'm. It's not

fair telling you. Fair.

Listen, I'm working,

all right? I'm dealing with

a lot of. You have no idea.

And I cannot do anything

about what's going on there from

here. You need to be a team. You

have to go there today and check

in. In and let them know that this

whole. I know, I know. You know,

the problem with that logic, though,

is that I'm not a housewife. I work,

too. Mommy. This hotel is

gross. Disgusting. Wow.

You guys look just like twins.

Anybody ever tell you that? No.

You're the first person to notice

and. Or say that. Everyone says

that. Hey, cutie. Want

to see a treat? Yeah.

Whoa. How did you do that?

Mommy, you should take it.

She's never gonna eat it.

Am I gonna throw up now?

Yeah. You hung up on me.

Look, I know you have a lot on your

plate, but she's getting

better, and the rest of it is totally

temporary. The ceiling will

get fixed. I promise. The sky is

not falling out of this pure fault.

I love you. I'm sorry. I love you,

too. What's so bad about a hotel anyway?

While you're there, take advantage of the

pool. I got a pool, right?

Always said you wish you had a

pool, so now you have one. Why

don't you go you do some laps,

you know, lounge a little, get a

floaty, kick back, get a couple of my.

Did you know that you can

train hamsters to love you?

No. You can train them to love you.

Well, I would love if you would

finish your bacon. That way I

can tell Everybody you got 100%

on breakfast. And once they love

you, you can get them to

do everything, including tricks.

Let's start with one bite.

Ring, ring.

Is parking guy gonna get mad again?

Double park, Double park. Double park.

Okay. Gotta be fast. You

know, what happened last

time. Face,

you've missed the last few

weeks of family sessions.

Yeah, I told you what happened.

Our entire ceiling fell down.

And with all that chaos, and we're

living out of the hotel tell. So we

need to schedule something as soon as

possible to talk about her goals

and. And the treatment process.

Yeah, okay. Yeah, Duh.

Yeah.

Oh, you meant now. Okay. All right,

well, let me look at my schedule. I should

probably do that. I know that

you already know this, but you can't

start letting feelings of guilt

and control about this illness and

treatment affect you. It's no one's fault.

That's right. That's what I keep

hearing. Also, I really need you

to start taking care of

yourself. Yes. No. Put my

oxygen mask on first. I'm just

gonna have to get blunt here.

So she needs to reach

her weight goal in the next

week. If she does that,

then we can put tube

removal and discharge dates on

the books. But if she doesn't do that,

I'm going to have to reassess

the level of care because obviously

something is not working here.

And this is what I need to talk to you

about. When can we sit

down properly? Yeah, fine.

September 7th. It's September 15th.

September 20th. I mean September.

September 20th.

Hey. I told you not to do that.

And the next time I will report

you to the building. I know, I'm

sorry to report you won't be allowed in

the lot. I'll have you. I'm

not in there long enough.

Whatever.

The apartment is a 30 minute

walk, but might as well be on Mars.

And I just think every time I

go check it looks worse and I.

I have no control. Have you tried

discussing a compromise with your landlord?

Perhaps they could section

off the room with the hole.

Then you could live freely

in the rest of the apartment.

Live freely with asbestos and 100-year-old

dust and black hole

sores? That's your advice?

It's not advice. It's a

question to consider.

I should really show you this hole.

It's an entire nightmare on

my ceiling. When does Charles return?

This week, three of eight. I mean,

you should know that your

right wings. Don't. It's your job to

remember the boring details

of my life. We do have to stop

now. We are out of time. I have another

patient coming. So. Wait, now what

about the 10 minute warning? Yeah, I just

wasn't paying attention. You didn't respond

to the email that I sent you about

my dream. I don't respond to my

client's dream emails.

Okay, so if you don't

bring it up, then what is the point?

Okay, you got me. I had a dream and I

need to talk about it today. And I

didn't get any time because you didn't

give me a warning. We can discuss the

dream. You emailed the next session.

Wow. It's actually a different dream.

Well, I don't really.

Okay, quickly. Okay. I was in a hospital

day room or recreation

room or something. And I

knew my daughter was also in

the hospital, but. But far away,

another part. And it

didn't look like the hospital

she was in last year, though, when everything

happened, it was different. It was weird.

And I was waiting for Charles to

come get me so we could pick her

up, but instead you were

there and you wanted to sit

really close to me, and I was, like,

inching away from you on the bench,

and you kept inching closer. And I got my

phone out to text Charles because I

was nervous. He'd come in and he'd see,

and then you tried to grab

the phone, and then you

started to tickle me to

try to get me to drop it.

And I was like, I was really enjoying it,

but I was so scared that Charles

would come in and he would see.

All right.

Okay. All right. You have to tell me.

Talk about it next time.

We won't talk about it next time.

You know that. There's no thread.

There's no thread at all.

Yes. What now? Hi. Yes, I'm so sorry.

Have to leave. Stop work. What?

Mother died. I have to leave work.

Okay. Just.

Okay. What is the issue then? Can

you tell me? This has been going on

for so long. Do I need to get

a new contractor? I, I, I spread.

How long will you be

grieving for your mother?

I need a date, okay? It needs

to be fixed. Just give me a date.

My husband and I will be returning to.

Okay, well, fine. I'm going to be going

there and checking on what you've done

so far, and I'm going to

be taking pictures. And I

can see you now. Perfect.

I'm really happy to hold this

silent space for you, but as

usual, I am curious as to what

you might be thinking about Riley.

It's all I can think about.

Tell me what's going on. I,

I keep telling you. It's. It's like I

keep saying to his doctor.

He. He doesn't smile. He.

He looks at me weirdly, and he's just very

uncomfortable all of the time,

and no one will do anything

about it.

You know what I would love and

what I think would be extremely helpful is

if you could come to a session

without Riley. I think it would be.

I know you think you can't,

but I think if you got a sitter

who you trusted in New York,

the mom came home from work and

the nanny had stabbed both of her kids

to death in the bathtub. That is real.

That happened. A situation like

that is very, very, very

unusual. Okay. Most people

have caregivers who can trust that.

Well, I. I believe you can. I

just think you don't want to or

you're afraid, so let's stick

to serious. Protect him from

something specific, because something very

bad is happening.

I'm so. Can I just. One second. I

just have to. This could be about.

About my daughter.

I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm so sorry.

Yeah. Look. Look, I.

I'm not Riley's doctor,

so I can't speak to what may

or may not be going on with him.

We can only talk about

your feelings, about what

you perceive as going on with Riley.

Which is why I do believe medication I'm

not perceiving is happening, and I

feel awful about it.

Okay, listen. When

you're having these feelings

of deep panic at home

with Riley, just put him

in his crib or carrier

or somewhere safe and

draw a bath. Breathe until your heart

isn't racing anymore.

Come out, get dressed,

start the day over again. Put on

some real clothes.

These feelings that you're

experiencing, they are.

They're very, very, very scary.

Okay? Very dark. And

that's why you need to keep

moving. You need to keep going. You need

to be busy. You can't sit inside the fear,

doubt and scariness.

Breath work is a deep healing

in the nervous system where we

hold trauma and trapped

emotion. We can't talk

our way out of trauma.

The body needs to be open,

unprocessed emotions in the body. And this

is why breath work is so

powerful. If you're looking for deeper

ways of treating and you're

searching for alternatives, don't wait

any longer. Let's connect and schedule

your first breath work session directly.

Before the judge read Ortega her sentence, she

begged for forgiveness for her unspeakable crime.

She stated she was sorry for

what the judge had called pure evil.

She then spoke about how untreated

mental illness was to blame. But the judge

is not convinced. She will be serving life

in prison with no possibility of parole,

you would not believe what

I have been through today.

Okay, so I don't know

if you recall, but there

was this pair of absolutely

Devoniana Devon Gorge leather gloves

that I saw on the Real.

Real. I wake up this morning.

Banned. Banned. Yeah,

I know. Hey, my love. So

you've been keeping up and

eating and doing all the right

things. Yeah, I ate some cheese today.

Daddy, can I get a hamster? I

already told you, you're not getting a

hamster. No, no, no,

no, no. She's not getting

a hamster. She's not getting a

hamster. Where are you what? I hear

something weird. Oh, yeah,

dad, I'm catching a game.

A game? Yeah. Yeah. We got here

this morning and there's a minor league

team here on the island where

we go. It's a little loud, so it must

be nice, huh? Doing things for yourself.

What's that like? Hey, hey, hey. You want

to switch places? You don't know what

I'm dealing with here, all right, I'll go

sit on my a*s all day

in therapy. I'm sorry.

I mean, sit on my butt

listening to people whine and

you can captain this stupid boat. Okay,

listen, I'm allowed to do things

on my time off. Jesus Christ.

Time off? Oh. Okay. Daddy has to go now and

we have to drive.

I told you, it's a rodent.

Just something to look after

for no reason. Please, please

don't ask again. And don't ask Daddy

things. I already say no

to Mommy. It's not fair. It.

Dr. Spring said this is a

big week. Did she tell you

that? Yeah. I think you can do it. But I'm

already doing it my best. I

know, but you have to do a little

better and we can get rid of this

thing and everything will be okay.

I'll be better,

okay? Well,

it's not up to me. It's up to you.

What book can I read

you tonight? I'm too tired.

Just a song, okay? What song?

The dead whale 1.

Sit beside the breakfast

table. Think about your

troubles. Pour yourself cup tea.

Think about the bubbles. You can take

your teardrops and drop them in a teacup.

Take him down to the river side and

from our to be swept up by a

current and taken to

the ocean. Be swallowed

by fishes who are eating massive fishes

and swallow.

I don't mean to say we're all

robots, but I wonder if you had been

raised the way your mother had been

raised. I mean, she had a father who

just took off and come home. Then another

man entered her mother's life and she

became a text to him and he bailed

out. Who know what you're saying?

I did have that for very soon.

My question is, if you had been

raised as your mother had been raised,

do you think you would have. Okay. See how

many you can catch. Okay. Okay. Okay. Open,

please.

Put this on my room, please.

It's definitely before two.

I'm going to need to see your id. Ma'. Am.

You've never asked me

that before. Ma', am, I'm going

to need to see your id.

You really want me to go all

the way back up to my room,

get my ID and come all the way

back down here is the rule. Aren't

you only on the second floor anyway?

When is this the rule? I

have been in here every single

cr. Maybe you should find my ID

when I checked. Ladies,

I'm not going back. Ladies,

ladies. Calm it down,

bro. Not everything deep.

She barking at me. Just

use my id, bro. I can't do that.

Why not? I can't use your

ID for her wine. It's my wine.

She's just paying for it.

She took it.

Hey,

what name

is Jamie, by the way? Got a light?

Not interested. In what? I need to

be alone. Who is Hell.

Thank you would have been nice. Miss it

at the hotel? Outside? Just

getting some fresh air. I don't like

it when you leave her there by

yourself. And even for a second it isn't

safe. I'm just outside for a minute

getting some air. The windows don't

open in there. Stop everyone

from k*lling themselves,

obviously. What if she

wakes up and she never

wakes up and anyway, I have someone

at the hotel now. Babysitter. Really?

Where'd you go? Where'd you

find a babysitter? His name's James.

His name is James. He's a male babysitter.

Did you call just to call me a

bad mother or what? I mean,

you have no idea what it's like

not to be able to go outside even

for a minute by yourself. You can go

outside whenever you want to. You can

go wherever you want to. The

machine doesn't stop and there's

nothing to do if. Oh my God.

Who is the one who went to a

baseball game today? And who is the

one who filled her bag with bloop 500

times, saw patients, picked her up,

had to do dinner where she only got 20%

and then have to try

to convince. Look, I got

to go. The reception's really

bad here. Everything's fine. Wait,

wait, wait, wait. Did you go to the apart?

Here are pics of whole forgot

to send today I went during

It what

is movie Babies

Zombies 80s mothers eating babies.

Here's what I found. A

court has reopened. A nine

month old baby really was taken

and k*lled by a dingo. 24 years

after Meryl Streep portrayed the

Australian mother wrongly jailed

for k*lling her child. Chamberlain

has always insisted she.

Sam,

your job is super

fun and like a really, really

big kid type of thing to do. I can't

hear you. I said, you know, it'd

be super fun and a big kid type

of thing to do. What? I drop

you in front of the door and you

just go out by yourself. Oh, my

God. That would be so cool of you.

No. Why not? All the moms walked in.

Your mom. We have to

walk in. Move to sign me in.

Eva, Eva, can you walk her in today?

Mom, please, please, please.

I cannot deal with the parking.

Of course. No problem. No problem.

Thank you. Okay. Exciting news.

Guess what. Guess what.

Ava will walk you in. Go, go, go.

Mommy, Allie scares me.

She only needs Nutella.

I need you to be with you for Mama,

okay? Please, Please. You

are my mom. Look at hamsters,

baby. Doing. Look at them. Okay,

you want press? Score. Go, go. Okay.

See? I love you. I love you. Okay, I'm.

And then you told me that if

you touch a baby bird, the mama

bird will not come back.

If they don't touch them.

That must have been some dream.

You kissed me.

You said you kissed me. Yes,

I heard you. In your dream. I

kissed you. Yeah. And then?

And then the next day, I felt crushing

guilt. And I knew somehow that

your husband had called me an.

You know, Stephen, we can talk

about these feelings apart from your

but I

can't help it if in my dreams

you always want to kiss me.

What's the difference between

going outside on hotel property

when she's sleeping and

going all the way home?

In one, I guess I'm just a

regular mom making a shitty

choice. And in the

other, I'm a. I'm a straight

up shitty mom. Well, it's

not my role to decide whether

you should or whether you should

not. No, no, no, no, no. I shouldn't.

I know I shouldn't. I shouldn't

even leave her for a second.

It is your job to say.

Just tell me not to do.

Do it. Tell me what to

do. I don't think you want

me to tell you what to do. You know what to

do. No one will tell me what to

do. I'm supposed to know how to

fix this. I'm supposed to know

how to fix her. What is it you think

it's your job to fix? She

has to weigh 50 pounds

by next week. Dr. Spring said

that's a gain of 2.5 pounds. Right?

Each day is supposed to be 2500 calories

in compensating for her resting rate.

At 1800 calories burned, that's got

to be at least 80% of each meal for

seven days, plus the tube. And

that's if she just lays still all day.

And if it doesn't, then something

about not getting the tube out

and reassessing the level of care.

I mean, what do I. I would like you

to get a good night's sleep.

So would I. But I'm asking

you a thing, an actual thing, a

problem to fix that. I need help with

this. Am I supposed to just sit

around and watch her fail and this is

just gonna go on forever? What do I

do? Okay, that means there's no drinking.

There's no drugs. There's

no. Are you listening to me?

Can you hear me?

I'm asking you what I'm supposed to do.

Why don't you like me?

Why don't I like you? I don't even

want to answer, but just forget it.

That is incredibly unfair.

Why is this so important to you right now?

I just want something

to tell me what to do.

I love it. I'm going to kiss

him. I'm going to hug him.

Oh, my God. Maybe I should

get s'. More. That's really

nice. I said don't open

the box. I just want

to see him. He's subscribing.

He doesn't like being in the box.

He's trying to get out. Can

you hold it close, please?

And keep it closed. He's

scratching me. He's supposed to

love me. Close the box.

I can't. He's getting out.

Hand it to me. Hand it to me.

He's gonna jump out. Give it to

me. I can't. I can't see. Give it to the

wrong hamster. Ow.

We're going to die. No, we're

not going to die. But I have to pull

over. Ow. Maybe this is. Oh, my God. Out.

It's out. Oh, my. Ow. Oh, my God.

It's out. Why aren't you putting

that thing in? Just put it back in.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. My bed. Please.

No one want him anymore.

Okay, okay. You're fine.

You're fine and I'm fine.

Okay, Nobody is hurt. Let's take

it with you. Take it with you.

Right. Army. I made my hand.

What are you doing? Hey, hey, hey.

Oh. You're lucky there's no damage.

We don't have to exchange change

information. My kid is in that car. Do you

hear her crying? Huh? You

scared her to death, you d*ck. Hey,

mom, it was barely just a

tap. Don't call me mommy.

She thought we were gonna die. Don't

with me about my child's safety, huh?

Give me all your information.

What the is that. What? That.

That answer.

I love you. I miss you. Come back here.

Everything is under control.

You know that. I Love you. I'm.

I. I think you're the best. And so

proud of you for everything. And you can do

it. And you're almost all better.

I can't stop. I just love you too much.

You smell like wine.

Hello? Hi, it's. It's Caroline.

Caroline Prim, your

patient. I'm sorry it's so late.

Oh, is this an emergency?

We just. If this is an emergency, you need

to hang up and It's. It's not

an emergency. I just. I forgot

to call you yesterday. What?

Well, you told me to take Riley

for a walk after I took a bath

and calm down and. And I

did it and I forgot to call you.

Okay. Yes. Well,

that's good. And I.

I do feel though, that I. I should

tell you that this number is.

Is really for emergencies only. Okay.

Oh, I'm sorry. I just. I

just couldn't sleep thinking

that you were worried. I wasn't worried.

You weren't. You weren't

thinking about me? I said that

you could call me if that you.

I said you could call me if you

couldn't calm down. Not

that you had to call me, but.

But are. Are you safe? Caroline, are you.

I'm sorry. I. I misunderstood. I'm.

Yeah. I'm so dumb. Yes, I'm safe.

Okay, well, let's. Let's

talk about this in session.

Okay? I'm sorry.

I'm. I'm obviously bothering

you. It is not your fault.

And I will. I'll. I'll see

you next week. Well, can I

come in tomorrow? I. It's just

waiting until next week seems too long.

Well, let me. Let me check my

schedule and I will text you in time,

okay? Okay. I'm sorry.

God. Kidding me?

Hello? Hello?

Hello? Hello? Is anyone here doing

their job?

Want some note with that trick?

Got a knife?

Open up. It's mommy. Little bear.

Open up.

Double.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. The. Your problem?

What? Who? What? You obsessed with me

or something? What are you talking about?

Don't flatter yourself. What? Why are you

looking at me? What? What do you want?

I want you just sitting outside and by

yourself. Some creep might walk past.

What a creep? How the do I know?

Lady, it's creeps all over this place,

lady. My bad, Miss Just

dumb. Ma'. Am. Proud. Yeah.

Swag. Oh my God. Your thoughtiness,

housewife. At this point, I don't even know

what to refer to you as.

I'm just call you female. Yo,

crazy pants. I was gonna

partake in surfing the

web for some things that I'm

into. If you Catch my drift? And just

putting it out there. You're more

than welcome to join. No pressure.

Just saying,

what kind of stuff isn't

like the dark web? Like

where you can buy people

and stuff? No, never

bought a person, so. But you

could. Or sell one, I mean,

I guess so, but I don't come

on the dark web. Searching

for that kind of. So places

on there where people, like, show each other

videos of murderers and people that are

holding c*ptive. We change the

subject. Let's buy drugs. Let's get some.

Some, Right. Come on. What

do you want? What are you into?

Wow. Did they have, like,

cocaine, something? When was the last

time you tried cocaine? What

do you mean? It's a very popular

drug. I like it. All

right, well, I'm getting

Molly, so we'll get both. Secret thing is,

I don't get paid till next week,

so I need you to cover me.

Oh. Oh, I know. No, no,

I see what this is about.

Where are you going? I'm going back to

normal. Him? For what? You don't even

have a key. Besides, your daughter's passed

out. Front desk lady's definitely in a

coma by now. Calm down.

Come sit down. Let's order. Jesus.

Put it on my credit card, I

guess. What? No, the 400.

I can put it on my credit card.

No, no, see, man, it can't be

traced back to you. It has to be

anonymous. Oh, then how do you pay

for the stuff? All right, what

we could do is we could go

to the pharmacy, something real

quick and put it on like one of those gift

cards. Or maybe you got

Bitcoin or Crypto or some like that.

No, I don't have any of that

stuff. And I. I can't get in a

car and leave my daughter alone in the

middle of the night. Leave your daughter

alone all the time. No, I don't.

That's just if I go in the field.

I literally seen you leave your daughter

alone myself with my own two eyes.

What's. You stalking me or

something? Concerned citizen.

I mean, takes the village, right?

What?

Sweetie, Sweetie, it's Mommy.

You blocked me out. Sweetie,

sweetie. Open the door.

Little bear, open the door. Just wheel

machine over and open the door.

Little bear,

open that door. I locked myself

out. It's Mom. It's Mommy.

I'm not sure how we could talk about

anything helpful if you won't even look

me in the eye. You asked

me for this extra session.

Yeah, I can't. He must be so mad

at me. Mad? Oh, because you

called me? No, no, no. I'M not mad at

you. Let's move on, please.

You have a daughter.

Why didn't you ever tell

me? Well, this isn't about me,

but now I know that you know.

I. I don't know. You need to tell me.

It's not your fault. But it is

mine. Okay. You know,

Caroline, I think that it may be time

that we. That we consult with

someone about some.

Some medication for you.

Um, I can't take her

medication. And breastfeeding?

Do you want me to k*ll

my baby? Of course not.

I just think if a doctor

thinks it could be beneficial,

then maybe we need to prioritize your.

Your health over breastfeeding

just right now. No, you need to take

care of yourself so you

can take care of Riley.

I have to go to the bathroom.

Well, we only have 15 minutes left.

I have to go now. Okay, well,

would you. Can you wait till

after the session? No.

Sam.

Caroline. Excuse me.

Caroline. Excuse me.

Caroline, I need you to help me

Caroline.

Okay. Okay, Caroline.

Caroline is

going to session my patient.

She has this baby, and she said she

was going to the bathroom, and then

she. She left the baby with me,

and I, I. She's gone. I'm with a

patient. Please. I need your help. I

really need your help. I'm with a patient.

Also, I'm not your supervisor.

This was a professional issue.

This is not a treatment issue. Joking. This

is an emergency. Whatever's happening in

here is not as important as what

is. I'm going to care. I need your

help. I need your help. This is an

emergency. You can come back later.

Absolutely not.

Hello? Hello? Hello? Yes, hello. I am your

wife's psychotherapist, and she left today

in the middle of her appointment, and I.

Yes, this is your wife's therapist.

I. She left in the middle of her

appointment today, and. You got to

stop. You got to stop. I have no idea

what you're even talking about.

Who is this? Is. Is your wife named

Caroline Prim, and you are.

Your baby's name is Riley

and you're pregnant. Right? Okay. Right.

My wife doesn't have a. Okay, well,

she has been my patient at the center

for Psychological Arts in Montauk since

she was about six months pregnant with

Riley, and today. Well, this is news to

me. Well, weather you knew

that she was my patient or not.

What I'm trying to say to you is

that this is an emergency, and I

really. She left your baby here with me,

and I need you to come and

pick him up. What do you mean?

What do you mean, what do you

mean what? I mean she's not answering

her phone. She's probably in

the bathroom by a f*cking vending

machine. Okay, I, I, I suggest that

you call her. Maybe she would pick up

if it was you. I'm gonna text you

my address to come and get the

baby. Jesus Christ. I'm sure

she's okay. I'm sure she's okay.

I'm sure she's okay. Typical of

her. Okay, she probably

just needed some space.

I'm gonna text you my

address. Where? So you

can come and get her. Listen

to me. Listen to me. I'm at work.

I am at work right now. That's

why she's supposed to be taking

care of the baby. Baby so I can work. Okay,

here's what I'm gonna do.

I'm gonna text you my address.

You can drop the baby off

anywhere. Well, I can't do

that. And I am very concerned

about your wife. This is

an emergency and she's gonna talk

twice now. This isn't my emergency.

I'm not the one who lost my

life. I need you to come down here

and get your baby immediately. And

if you're not here within a half an hour,

I'm going to call the police. I was text

your address. Thank you very much.

Yes?

May I come in?

Patience.

Would you mind waiting in my

office down the hall just a few

moments? Your office? Who are

you, the boss? Just

another therapist. I have

an office. It's down the hall.

Door is open, you'll see it.

This is my time. She's mine right

now. You can't make me wait. Okay,

this is an emergency situation.

You can either wait in my office or

you need to leave the building entirely.

Baby? Is that your baby? You have a baby?

Means you guys have a baby

together. Okay, this situation does not

concern you. Okay? Make a choice.

Okay. I'll be in your office,

but I won't wait that long.

Wow. I mean, can you believe that I got

talked into getting this

hamster after all of that.

My God, she's right.

I really am so stretchable.

It's disgusting. You know,

when I was in medical school,

I had to do a stint in a medical

experiments lab. And we were tested

the efficacy of a drug on rats.

I. So what worked is

we take the rats and we drop them in this

guillotine thingy, chop

their heads off individually

peel the skin back and

then look at their brains

under a microscope. I just so

curious about the process

with that. You know,

the rats would claw and bite

you when you put your

hand in the cage to pick them

up. So they gave us these steel

chainmail gloves.

German. They're beautiful.

So you put on the glove and

you put your hand in the

cage. The rats would just

attach themselves to

the glove, clean for dear

life, you know? And then when you

got to the kine box, you

had to shake them off,

really shake them. I was

always worried that the rat

would get hurt when it's hit its

head on the guillotine, you know,

but their brains were

always fine when we looked

out on the microscope. Hope.

Rodents are resilient creatures.

Yeah,

I'll tell Steve in your

sessions. Cancelled.

Take care of this.

I love you.

Just tell me, was she

suicidal? Homicidal? No,

no, no. She was obsessed

with protecting the baby.

And. Yeah, she wouldn't

hurt the baby and she

didn't talk about suicide. She wouldn't

abandon Riley. She just did abandon him.

Right. Well, you know, I mean,

permanently. Forever.

Is that it? I have another patient

waiting who only needs my hallway.

It's fine. More comedy. Think woman

tries to run away from all the responsibilities.

Everybody gets all upset and they come

back with their tail and their legs. Okay.

When you have finished recording,

you may hang up or press 1

for more options. Hi. Hi, It's. It's me

again. Your tenant from 22 Algonquin,

Unit 1. You know, the one with the giant

hole in the ceiling k*lling.

Your repairs guy ran off.

And it's getting worse. And I want to

know why you're doing nothing and why

you're happy for my daughter

and I to be staying at a far pass full

of freaks while I continue to

pay you rent. And I have a very,

very, very important patient that

is a prominent lawyer. And I am not

afraid.

I was after a song. Visa, gift cards.

What denominations do you have? Do you

have a minute to talk before the

children come out? Sure. Okay, go.

So I've noticed that you still haven't

made the appointment for family

therapy like we discussed the other morning.

It's not. It's just been so crazy at

work. Right. So I can't stress to

you enough how important this is.

I'm. I'm on your side here. Yes,

yes, yes, I understand. We need

her off the machine. Yes,

so do I. Okay, I'm going

to be frank. We need her off

of it as soon as possible for her

to remain here. And to do

that, she needs to gain faster.

Okay, well, but. But we have until

next week, right? The 50 pound goal.

No, the way things are

going, is we going to make

that goal? What are you saying we

do weigh ins every morning. She's not

gonna make the goal. Because the goal you

set was impossible. We were

set up to fail. It's unrealistic.

We're gonna have to

reassess the level of care.

What does that mean? Well,

we can discuss it in our meeting.

You know what I would love

and think would be so good

is if we could get a date on

the calendar of the surgery.

A concrete goal that we

can all work towards. It's not.

It's not a surgery. A tube

removal. Well, a procedure.

Whatever you call it, it's not

a procedure either. When it's

time to remove it, the

doctor just pulls it out.

Pull it out? Yeah. It just slides out.

They could just really just

pull it out? Yeah, it's that

simple. But what happens to the

hole? It closes up on its own. Oh.

It's kind of like when you

get a cut on your tongue.

It wants to close up.

Oh, hi. Is James here?

Who are you?

I'm his neighbor. I'm there in that room.

There he is. Not you. Oh. Do you

know when he'll be back? I just

have something to give him. Give it

to me. I'll see you. He gets

it. No, no, I. I have to give

it to him myself. It's. It's a value.

A value? Yeah, a value.

Relax your body.

Settle in with yourself.

Right now you're only supposed to breathe.

We're in the work phase of this. The more

you relax your body right

now, the easier it gets for

you. Recognize the

accessing the body's wisdom. So let your

mind go. If you can find

your attention within the

movement of your breath.

Start noticing any

sensation in your body and

see what catches your

interest or your curiosity.

And hold the space in the way

you want to be out. You probably

notice anything. The

intensity builds up in your body.

That's all rough and

trying to control anything.

See if you can tense

recognize you can hold space.

You can love yourself right

Don't avoid any single

thing. Don't abandon yourself.

Stay connected to yourself.

See if you can honor yourself

in this moment of reconnecting to yourself.

Use your voice and imagine your emotion.

Are allowed to be. Maybe

you can even do it tonight way.

Okay, we got to be quick cuz.

Cuz I have to get back. But I

just. I just had a show

somewhere. What's going on in

here? Okay, so. Room filled

with plastic tarp everywhere. Nice.

So is this your kid room? Oh, told you

the f*cking ceiling fell

down. What the f*ck

is that? That's It. That's the hole.

That's why I'm at the hotel. That's why

you staying at the f*cking hotel.

Oh, my God. Come on. You could have

slept on your couch for a

couple of weeks. What? Look at

it. It's been two months and

they refuse to fix it. There's dust

and mold everywhere.

Yo, what is up there?

They've been renovating forever.

They said a pipe

burst. Oh, it's right there.

There you go. I did the

that. You know, the thing,

the breath thing. What?

And I think it took me

here. I think maybe that's

why I wanted to come to see it.

You need goddess with that. You can't

just be doing it. What are you doing way,

man? They lied to you, sis.

Look, come see. It's a

clean break. I'm telling

you. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. What the,

man? My cousin Craig is a

general contractor. You know

somebody that know somebody

that fix this. Jeffy D. Look like

you got some debris on the

furniture. You know how to reupholster.

It's going to cost you.

Oh,

James.

Oh, my.

Everybody settle. Right.

Thank you. All right,

so the topic today is something that's so

fundamental that it's actually

a little silly to talk about.

But it is so important to

your child's recovery and

more than that, to your ability

to help your child recover.

Can anybody guess

what it is?

Blame. And anybody?

Shame. Thank you.

So, as parents, a lot of

times we look too closely

at ourselves, right? And we start to

ask ourselves, is this my fault?

Could I have done anything differently?

What if this, what if that? But all it does

is create a thinking trap,

and that does not help your child.

So what I'd like to do if we. Look,

Melanie, do you want to put

some words to your feelings?

Yeah. I.

Sometimes I just think it is all my fault.

Do you have something to say to Melanie?

No, no. Whoa. No, never

mind. Don't mind me.

No, no, no. I want to

hear what you have to say.

You keep telling us that

it isn't our fault. Yeah,

but. But it is.

Excuse me? I mean, if it isn't

our fault, then we're really super.

We're just walking around pretending we have

power to change something that we don't even

understand because it's not our fault.

But we know how to change it, even though

it's not our fault. So this is actually

good. This is actually good because now

we have a lot. No, no, no,

no. I know. I. I think I have.

No, no, no. It's our fault, isn't

fair. But it is our fault. I mean,

that's the. That's how I see it. That's

it. That's what this whole thing is.

Is our fault. And sit down.

No, no, no. I don't want to

talk about it. I already know it.

And I don't have to meet you because

I know what you're going to say.

She's failed and that I failed because you

set us up to fail. No one tries

hard if they got a safety net.

Nobody. Okay? And you should

know that Dr. Spring you the

rest of my life. Bring down

that tube every night until I die.

Do not leave that door. And

none of this is helping any of us.

None of it. Come back.

Hey. Hey. Why are you calling?

Isn't it bear group going on

right now? I couldn't sit there.

I'm in the car. I'll pick her up later.

But I can't. I can't stay there.

What do you mean you couldn't sit.

I can't do it. I can't do it.

She's got to get better. But she's

not going to make the goal. And

I, I. I don't know what's going to

happen now. You need to get

back in there. Hole is getting bigger.

No, no. The apartment

hole. The g*dd*mn hole.

Why can't you just keep

tabs on those guys? The guy's

gone for a week. There's no one

working on it. What? A week? When were

you gonna mention it? I'm telling you now.

It's very complicated to explain over the

phone. Just send me pictures.

No more pictures. I'm not going back.

I'm never going back there. I talked to

him. He. He's not doing

anything. And by the

way, I think he has a deal

with the motel because.

Stop, stop, stop, stop. Okay,

let me just get this straight.

You aren't going into the program anymore,

and you aren't going into our apartment

anymore? That's right. Hey.

How do you expect anything

to get back to normal? Then it won't.

What are you talking about? It won't?

All right. Are you. Are you in

your right mind now? Are you

done? Also, there's a woman missing. What?

Who? What? You tell

me. She's missing. She left

and she's not picking

up her phone. Let's take a

deep breath. Start. No, no, no,

no, no. I can't talk to you about

this. Why aren't you going back

into a group? I would just talk to my

therapist later. That, that this

is fine. Everything. Everything's.

Everything's Fine. That guy. I just

looked in the bank accounts. How often?

Every day. Every day? Every day.

Come on. No sitting idle in

vehicles. Please move the car

or yourself. I have a right to sit

in my car without you harassing

me. What? Yeah. Are you

talking to. There's this creepy

who's harassing me. Me. Every day

he harasses me. He's obsessed with me.

He's back at my window wanting something.

To leave the parking lot or

get out of your car. Oh, my God.

Are you serious? Yeah,

yeah, yeah, yeah. Call the

police. Call the police. Yeah, I'm

gonna call the police on you. See you here

again. Oh, my God. You're

harassed. This is harassment.

Anything in particular

keeping you silent right now?

Fact that I want to be

silent is keeping me, I think.

This isn't about you.

What I mean is, I. I

mean, I pay for your time,

right? So I can do anything I

want with that time. And right now I

just want to lay here without you talking.

Well, you did not have

to come here for that.

Go lie on your own couch.

Do you wish I lied on my own

couch instead of coming here?

All I'm saying is you

chose not to be alone.

I'm alone. No, you're not

alone. I'm here, but. No,

you aren't. Not really what we

can do, am I? Just not seriously.

Okay, you know what? Did I ever tell you

that I was pregnant before?

Like, I've been pregnant twice.

I never tell anyone this.

It was when Charles and

I were first dating, and I

got an ab*rtion right away. Like,

I took a pregnancy test and then

just went to a random clinic the next day.

I got the surgical kind

with the vacuum thing.

And it hurt really badly.

Like, the nurse

held my hand,

and for some reason, I didn't

realize how badly it would hurt,

but I really did.

Yeah, that was almost

20 years ago. I'd have

a kid in college by

now if I hadn't done that.

Maybe I got rid of the wrong one.

Why won't you say anything?

I can't breathe.

You don't get it. You don't see.

You love to tell me. I don't get it.

What is it you think I

don't get? What is it you're

so sure I can't help you with?

I'm one of those people that's

not supposed to be a mom.

I'm not a mom. I'm not. This isn't supposed

to be what it's like. This

isn't it. This can't be it.

You say something not

Everyone can do it. I can't.

Do you have any kids?

Do you have a kid?

Hello?

Why won't you talk to me?

Why won't you help me?

I know what you're doing, and I can't

have it. What am I doing?

This isn't working. What do

you mean? We can't see each other

anymore.

I got here early. You'll have

to wait outside.

Look, I don't know why you aren't

answering your cell, but Dr. Spring called

and. It's Dr. Spring. You cannot bring your

daughter here for further

treatment until we have.

You are too much. You

know you are. I'm gonna.

Hey, thanks for checking in. In case

you forgot, my wife still happens to.

To be missing. You know, I

don't know what kind of number.

What the.

You. You mentioned a aphorism

from the Bible about a millstone.

Would you say what that is?

I need Better he can tie a

stone around your neck and

throw yourself in this se.

And cause another one

to stumble. Stumble. All right.

Make sure I'm heading down.

Better tie a millstone around your

neck and throw yourself in the sea

rather than into the

blood Cause someone to.

Someone stumble Cause someone to stumble.

Okay.

What are your thoughts?

And.

Hello? Yeah,

Totally unbelievable, right?

It's completely unbelievable. All of it.

But, doctor, I don't care what she said.

I'm telling you, I had a work emergency and

I, I, I couldn't stay. I had

to leave. It isn't my fault,

you know, I came right back to

pick you up when I was supposed to,

like I always do. I just. I

just, just. I just couldn't stay for

the group. But, you know, I

work with a lot of very sick people,

honey, and sometimes they are sick in

a different way than you. But, Dr.

Spring, I told you. I

don't care what she said.

I'm your mother. She loves

me, though. She said so.

She said that she loves me, us, the kids.

She has no right to tell

you that. She's a doctor.

She doesn't have a right, though.

You know, I, I don't think we need the

program anymore. I'm better.

Yeah, I think maybe. Yeah, maybe we.

We just do it. You and

me. What would happen?

So many wonderful things. You would.

You'd be able to get the tube

out and. And you could go back to

school and you'd be eating everything delicious

in the whole world. I mean, wouldn't that

be great? You can do that?

Do what? Make me better.

I won't need the machine.

Well, I'm better than sex

I think maybe, you know, and if not,

then we'll just do it. You know,

you're better than you were.

And Dr. Spring's not the best of us.

Yeah. I'm really sorry,

but I'm not better. Please don't

be madder. Sad that he said that.

Hello? There's someone

here who wants to see you in

the lobby.

What?

Come down. Or don't.

Thanks for checking on me.

Oh, you would not believe

the day I had after you just

left me all alone, abandoned

in your spooky a*s apartment

with my bones sticking out my legs.

Called you an. No big deal. What else

did you expect me to do? I

had to get back here to my kid.

Mother of the year. I

almost forgot. I don't.

And what exactly am I supposed to

do with ship breaker cocaine? Flush it.

Okay. It must be nice. Why

didn't I give you any crutches?

Them crutches is

you. You're here.

I hope it's okay. I. I

accidentally followed you this

one time and. You live

here. Are you. Are you

okay? I'm okay. Okay. Okay,

but where did you go? I just. I. I had

to get out of there. Okay,

I understand. So. So let's

do. Do you really, really understand?

I think so. No, this is. This.

This. This is a mistake. This

is. This is a mistake because I.

I thought. I thought that you

understood and then I wouldn't even

have. Let's calm down. I think

what we should do is get in a car

right now and go straight to the

emergency room. Hospital? Yes. Why?

Why? Because. Why? Why? Don't feel ready

to go home. What about

your daughter? My daughter?

Where is your daughter? She's upstairs.

She's sleeping. I don't want to

go to a hospital. I don't want to go

to a hospital. Just. I want

you to help me, Pam. To.

I'm trying to. No, you don't

understand. You don't see it all

their faces, Their little

faces. They look at

us and there is nothing

there. You need to calm down.

You need to calm down. No, I am

fine. Okay? I am fine. But breathe

with me, Caroline. Take

a breath. Just breathe with

me. To start with.

Caroline, Wait.

Caroline.

If this is an emergency,

hang up and call 91 1.

Otherwise call back during

normal business hours,

okay? Call me back. Call

me back tonight, okay? Please,

please, please, please just call me

back, okay? I need you. Bye.

It's It.

Mommy. Should you go

back to sleep? Everything's okay.

I told you. What? It's okay.

I made it better.

Sa it.

Hello?

Oh, why Are you here?

You okay? When did you get here?

Why are you here?

Where is she? She's asleep.

With the babysitter? Yes.

Look, I. I just. I couldn't

think. I. I couldn't function.

I. I couldn't do anything. All I was

doing was thinking about you and her

and the apartment, so I. I

had to come back. I was scared.

No, I wanted to help. Wait, wait. I, I.

What? You just gotta know

how to talk to this guy. That's fine.

Did you look at it? The

hole? Did you see it? Did you

see anything? Oh, yeah. No. Was not

fixed. Now it's fixed. Okay.

Okay. I think. I think we should

just. Let's just go. Just don't see how

it got so bad. How did it

get so bad? Are you trying to

blame me? No, I'm not blaming

you. I just. I just want to get

out of here. It just. It was

a huge. I want to get out of

Do you love me?

Yeah.

Wait, wait. What? What's the

rush? You were the one who was

in a rush to get back here.

Want to be here anymore?

We are here. All right, let's

relieve the babysitter. I'm exhausted.

I want to get to sleep. I'm excited

to see her, even if she's sleeping.

I know, but why don't you go downstairs

and get us some wine or something,

and I can relieve the sitter and then

come back. What's going on? What's going

on? There's something going on.

Open the door.

Me? I don't have a key.

Right, yeah. Okay.

Oh, God. Don't tell me you left

her here without. No, no, no, no,

no, no, no. I have a key.

Hey, I'm my dad. I'm Charles. Nice to

meet you. Must be the babysitter.

Babysitter, yeah. James, right?

Right. Jamie. Right. Well, thank you for.

Oh, hell no. I'm not doing this with

you, yo. Not doing what? What are

you talking about? Not a babysitter,

dude. Excuse me?

Your daughter woke up and was

crying, scared shitless. So I pounded

on the door till she finally

opened it. Had to tell her I was a

friend of your wife, bro. Took me

forever to get her to go to sleep.

And by the way, I have to give

her a band aid. She has some

oozing from. Okay, okay, hold on.

Listen. Who the hell are

you doing in my room?

Your room? Yeah. This is my

wife. That's my child. My room.

I just told you who I was,

and you need to ask your wife?

I got this. A cast on my leg. He's the

babysitter. He's not the babysitter.

He just told me he's not the babysitter.

Who the is he? Can we just go

inside? She can hear everything that you.

Why her machine is outside of her body in

this man. Hey. Hey.

Look at. Yes. Hi. Daddy's home. Oh,

my gosh. Look at you. You're beautiful.

Because Dr. Spring said

I do. Look, she was right.

Wes, what are you saying? Look, no tube.

The tube is garbage. Now

I can go back to school.

But, Daddy, I still don't

want to eat because

it's. What's going on?

Will you take me to the playground

tomorrow? What did you do?

What did you you do?

Sa Sam.

Promise I'll be