01x05 - Followers

[bunniefuu]

[theme music plays]

♪♪♪

[in French] Hey, Ell is going to come by

with Sarah around 2 p.m.,

to go over my Instagram, my Facebook Page,

and then, we'll go straight to the hike.

[in French] Promise me you'll never

put Albert on these things.

Of course not.

Wait, her daughter doesn't go to school?

No, she doesn't go

when she has her period.

All right, well, stay in your office,

because you can't make any noise.

I have work to do.

The three of us can't be in the office,

the heat is unbearable.

It's not a question of office

or no office, Justine,

you're always too hot.

Yes, you're right. Don't you have

your spinning class at 2 p.m.?

I can't go, I have too much work.

I have my meeting

with Studio Beta this week,

- so I really have to get work done.

- Wasn't that last week?

No, they moved it to this week.

I told you. Can't you remember?

- No.

- No, you don't remember?

Then why didn't you ask me how my meeting

that's so important to me went?

I didn't want to bother you

with stupid questions.

I was waiting for you to tell me about it.

Justine, do you ever listen

when I talk to you or not?

It looks like you don't give a sh*t

about what's happening in my life.

Martin, of course

I'm interested in your life.

All I care about is that you find work.

Yes, me too. And I will work.

I'll find work, it's just

a question of timing, that's all.

Yes.

Listen, I'm just a guy who's working

and trying to contribute

the best way I can

and to be a good father, that's all.

Don't give me that cowering look.

Yes, of course.

♪♪♪

134 followers?

How is that even possible?

Yeah, that's what I told her.

You're a celebrity chef.

You should have at least

10 times that.

- Like 10,000.

- Right.

Well, the restaurant has an Insta,

but, you know,

Jerry wants me to have my own

because he says

it's all about personal exposure now.

Right, people want to see what you make

your son for breakfast.

Stuff like that.

They live for that sh*t.

- My dry cleaner has, like, 2,000.

- What?

Definitely ask him to tag you

the next time you pick up your clothes.

Uh, do you have any press?

Yes.

That was before

the restaurant even.

- And during.

- Oh, my God, wow.

Oh, my God,

you're everywhere.

Oh, my God, she's

you're famous.

- She's famous. Wow.

- Maybe.

- [in French] Don't we have any oat milk?

- Yes, it's in my office.

No, the cat can't be on the table,

it's disgusting.

[in English] Okay, well, first,

we need to get you a blue check.

How do I do that?

Okay, Instagram just needs to verify

you are who you say you are,

which don't worry,

should only take a few days,

and then we'll link to your Facebook,

which you insist on staying on.

Just so you know,

Facebook is dead.

Facebook is dead?

- [in French] Hey, where is it? Where?

- On the shelf.

[in English] Okay,

and you need people to tag you,

but you must know tons

of famous people, right?

Not really, no.

[Martin, in French] f*ck, I can't find it.

There's only TP in your office.

[in French] Behind the chicken stock.

Look, see the chicken stock cartons?

There.

[Ell, in English]

You know a ton of famous people.

Weren't you just hanging out

with Brad last week?

Well, he came into the restaurant,

and I said "Hi."

- And he said, "Hi."

- Yeah.

That's it, that's hanging out.

Exactly.

Oh, my God,

saying hi's fine.

I mean,

technically it's all you need,

but ideally

you take a picture with them,

and then you tag them.

Even better, let them tag you.

I don't think I can do that, like,

take pictures of famous people

- and ask them to tag me.

- Are you kidding me?

- They

- [both] live for that sh*t.

Huh. Jinx.

Okay, fine, if you're the only one

that's going to be tagging them,

there's going to be a slower build.

Uh, does Zendaya ever come in?

- Zendaya? No.

- Billie Eilish?

No, I I don't know.

I mean, I don't

I'm mostly in the kitchen.

I don't know what's going on.

I mean, I guess I need

to be more aware.

- Yeah.

- Oh, I'm sorry.

Can you not roll your eyes like you're

in some kind of

teen Disney show right now?

[in French] Sorry, won't you be late

to pick up Albert? It's 3:15 p.m.

No. Yasmin is picking him up with Orion

and they'll meet us at the hike.

[in English] Okay.

[whispers]

Are you guys in some kind of fight?

No, no. The French language

is a harsh language.

[door slams]

Okay, then, um, let's get going.

Let's go.

So you know,

remember that great shrink

that Jeff and I went to

before we split up?

- No.

- Oh, she was fantastic.

I I think we would totally

still be together

if, um, we'd had the money

to keep going.

Well, why are you

bringing it up?

Uh, Mom,

I can't go on the hike.

You're going on the hike, Sarah.

I can't. I'm literally

hemorrhaging right now.

Okay, then, you're gonna

babysit your brother.

- No way!

- It's babysit Kai,

or go on the hike.

So what I'm thinking is,

I'm just gonna text you the number,

you know, just so you have it.

Okay. Thanks.

♪♪♪

Watch out.

I'll race you! [laughs]

- [Ell] Careful!

- [Yasmin] So, is he moving out?

[Anne]

Um, yeah, tomorrow.

His place is super funky.

It reminds me

of Nolita in the '90s.

[Yasmin] Wow.

It's like a whole new beginning.

What do you mean? For George?

For you and George.

Like, you get to go to his place

and make it like you're lovers.

You know, it's like your own little lair.

It'll be all mysterious.

You know what?

You should bring some danger into it.

Like, when I'm starting to get,

you know, bored with Will,

I will get in my car and drive,

shut my phone off all day

and just vanish.

By the time I get home,

we f*ck like rabbits.

Okay, you shut off your phone?

You?

Yes! Well, I mean, I check

every 15 minutes

to make sure Orion's okay.

Oh, so you're, like,

mysterious yet fully connected.

Yes! Let's just say,

it really works for us.

Yeah, well, f*cking was not

our problem, Yas.

We were doing it

at least twice a week.

Twice a week?

My God, that's exhausting.

I mean, Martin and I, we do it

maybe twice a year.

No! Come on, Justine!

- It's true.

- Guys, I'm so pissed at Jerry.

I used to be a queen at

Southern California Financial.

They loved me, and now they're

treating me like a piece of sh*t.

- You know?

- Okay, George is moving out tomorrow.

- Oh, God. Anne, I'm so sorry.

- Oh, it's okay.

- How's Seb taking it?

- Um, he's a little sad, but,

he knows it's temporary.

- Well, what if it's not?

- She said it's temporary, Ell.

Okay, I'm sorry, it's just

I just you know what I worry about?

Like, kids can feel it when

their parents are unhappy, right?

Not all kids.

I didn't even know George

was unhappy,

so I'm sure Seb doesn't.

Well, you were high all the time.

Exactly! I was so happy!

Yeah.

Maybe I was celebrating my happiness

by getting high

and he was escaping his unhappiness

by getting high.

- Hmm.

- Wow.

That's deep, Anne.

So, who you gonna pick?

I don't know.

I love 'em the same.

Anyway, they decide for me, right?

They decide everything.

I just feel so bad

for Sir Gaga.

He's gonna hate

driving back and forth.

He'll be so confused

with the two different homes.

Your hamster will be fine.

They'll probably bird nest

so you and Gaga

can stay in the same place.

That's what most parents

are doing now.

Do you guys remember when Kev

was always getting in trouble

'cause he kept on forgetting

his homework

at either his mom's or his dad's?

That was so unfair.

You gotta push

for the bird nesting thing.

I'm lucky because my dad might

move back in with us.

They had

a temporary trial separation,

then got back together?

Yeah, it's more of a money thing.

He'll bring his tent.

You know?

I'm not sure my parents like

each other anymore.

I hope they liked each other

when they made me.

I'm sure that's why they did it!

[laughter]

My mom says I'm the best surprise

that ever happened to her.

She says that about Kai, too.

Oh, who would you pick

if your parents got divorced?

I'd pick my mom for sure.

I mean, when I'm with my mom,

the world is like this.

But when I'm with my dad,

the world is like this.

Okay.

[sighs] Me and my dad are going

to Palo Alto tomorrow.

Think that means that my parents

are gonna get divorced too?

Very possible.

What's gonna happen to us?

What's wrong with them?

You know, the other day,

my mom got really mad at Jerry

because your mom

gave him a banana.

Oh, man.

Bees are dying,

penguins' houses are melting,

and everyone's going bananas.

They've ruined everything for us.

I hate them.

I guess we all need to die,

so the planet can recover.

[rustling in bushes nearby]

Guys, check out those bunnies!

- Whoa-h*!

- Awesome.

[chattering excitedly]

Oh, look at them.

- [Anne] They're so cute.

- [Ell] Aw!

[Yasmin]

They're still babies.

Yeah. But don't forget,

we are raising

- the men of the future.

- Yes.

Oh, God, is that a

is that a snake?

- No, no, no, it's

- Orion!

- It's a rabbit.

- Orion!

♪♪♪

[line ringing]

[gusty sigh]

[line ringing]

- Hello?

- Ell.

I I think Michael Fassbender is here.

- Well, just ask him to tag you.

- Mom!

What? Okay, I gotta go.

Just keep thinking 10k, 10k, 10k.

Okay, bye.

10k, 10k.

Fred, Fred, Fred.

Do you think that's Michael Fassbender

over there?

Michael oof.

Remember that scene

from 12 Years?

With the [imitates whip crack]?

Oh, I love him

but that was so scary.

But he's an actor.

He was he was acting.

Yeah, I know. It's just

Well, I wouldn't want

to bother him.

- Miss?

- You know what?

- It's not him.

- Okay.

I can't believe you're going on

your big boy trip

with Daddy tomorrow.

You know, you can call me

if you get scared.

Any time. Even if it's in

the middle of the night.

You know that, right?

I won't get scared.

I know.

You're my big boy.

[inhales] Hmm. Okay.

- Let's go to sleep, all right?

- 'Kay.

[sighs]

Mom?

I think I should try

to fall asleep alone tonight.

Oh. But it's our last night.

I know, but

I need to practice.

Okay. You sure?

Yes, Mom.

[sighs] All right, my love.

You sleep well, okay?

[door closes]

Have a great time.

[kisses]

Be good and listen to Daddy,

okay?

Okay.

You sure you can manage

on your own?

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm talking about even during

the conference, all day?

Yasmin, we've been over this.

There's gonna be other kids there.

And they have all kinds

of things planned for them.

I know, but who is this "they"?

- Yasmin.

- Okay, okay.

- Fine. He'll be fine.

- Yeah.

- It's fine. "They" have got it covered.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

All right, we'll text you

when we get there.

Probably gonna stop and

see the sea lions on the way,

so I'm thinking

around 7:00 p.m., okay?

- Okay.

- All right, love you.

- Mwah.

- Bye. Have fun.

Okay.

[speaks Farsi], your seatbelt.

Orion, honey, seatbelt.

And, Will,

don't forget lotion. His lotion.

All right.

Love you.

Bye! Have fun, guys!

- Bye!

- Bye, hon!

Oof!

All right, let's do this.

Bye!

[Yasmin] Bye!

♪♪♪

Put this here, no?

- Yeah.

- So you can see the view.

Aah.

Think you're gonna make

great music here, Mr. George.

[George]

Look, look, look, look, look at that!

- [Jesus chuckles]

- [George] That's pretty incredible.

[Jesus] Yeah. [chuckles]

[George] Yeah, you don't get that

in Venice.

Yeah, you don't get

the beach, though.

- Don't get the beach.

- [George] Oh, I love it!

[Jesus] Best conch chowder

in Los Angeles.

- Seventh and Flower.

- Okay, well, damn.

I know where

I'm having dinner, then.

[laughs]

Okay, so, um, I think we can

take it from here.

Thank you so much, Jesus.

I'll stop by on Saturday

for the passion fruits?

- Great.

- They need a lot of extra care.

Okay.

- Okay.

- Thank you.

Bye.

You know, it feels like

New York, right?

Oh.

Yeah, I thought it was just me.

It's boiling in here.

Yeah, it's really hot.

It's really hot.

Hey, you know,

I was thinking of, um,

If you want to move to New York,

I'd be really, really cool with that.

I mean, $200 a night spinning beats

for kids on Molly.

Anne, you've gotta have money

to live in New York.

You have money.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

You have money.

- It's our money.

- [scoffs]

- [phone chimes]

- It is!

Oh, great. Internet guy

will be here from 2:00 to 5:00.

- What?

- Yeah.

Don't do that. You know I'm capable of

setting up my own internet.

All right?

I'm almost 45.

"Forty-five. I'm 45." God.

I don't know what the big deal is,

all right?

I turned 55 and I didn't

go on and on about it, did I?

Well, you don't have

the same existential fears

- as the rest of us, do you?

- Oh, really?

- How about the fear of dying?

- How about the fear of starving?

Of not having a roof over your head?

Oh, honey.

I would never let you starve.

You'll always have a roof

over your head.

- Stop.

- You're my family.

The tone, Anne. Right there.

That.

You talk to me how you speak

to Sebastian

when he was a baby

and had diaper rash.

- You can't

- Okay, okay, sorry.

I'm sorry.

I know I'm being a d*ck.

I should lay down.

My head's k*lling me.

I'm so sorry.

Okay, well, um,

I guess, uh hmm.

I guess, um

I guess I'll go.

Okay, bye.

I'll see you Friday.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'll see you Friday.

Have a great time.

♪♪♪

[outgoing call ringing]

- [loud rock music on stereo]

- It's Mom.

- Hey, Mom.

- Oh, how are you, my love?

Good. We're listening to music

and singing.

Hey, babe!

- Okay.

- [Will] We're good.

Great. Well, call me

when you guys get there.

- Okay. Bye.

- Love you.

[sighs]

♪♪♪

I wanted to show

that he was super versatile

and I hope that comes across

in the pictures.

Hmm.

So Kai,

are you excited to do this?

Kai? Are you?

Super excited.

You know, he's that kid.

You know, the one who always does

those weird voices

and he's always trying on

different costumes.

He has been begging me

to do this

since he was a year.

No, Kai, you don't need

to do that, sweetie.

Linda, I also want to talk to you

about my two other kids.

I've got a mixed race,

half black, half white

14-year-old daughter.

Think Zendaya meets

Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

And I have a neuro-diverse

12-year-old boy.

Caucasian but very exotic features.

He could definitely pass

as Latino.

Not much work for lookalike

Latinos in this climate.

Okay, right. No, I got it.

I just wanted to give you options.

We're like

the United Colors of Benetton.

[laughs]

Wait, the what?

It's okay.

Moving on.

Kai, your mommy and I are

gonna talk for a little bit.

And you can wait for her out in

the waiting room, okay?

Do you like to color?

No.

Oh, well, don't worry.

Jessica! We have a fun friend who

can't wait to play with you.

There are tons of other

awesome toys you can play with.

[whispers]

Mom is gonna talk business.

Hi, Kai.

Come. I'll color with you.

We've been doing very well

for our Asian clients

these last few years.

Oh, of course you have.

They're the future.

And you want to know why,

girl to girl?

They can go all night.

They have so much energy.

I mean, look at China.

Okay. So

Let me explain to you

how we work.

We take 20%

of every job booked.

That's standard fare in youth.

We like for our clients to take

a couple of acting classes

before we start sending them out.

And in your case, we're going

to have to redo his photos

because they're terrible.

- Really?

- Really.

Now typically we charge $3,000

for the whole package.

That's including the classes

and the photos.

But in your case,

because we believe in Kai,

we can probably do $2,500.

[electric guitar playing]

[Ell] Guys, listen up.

As of today, you're all clients

of Ell Horowitz

Youth Talent Management!

- They didn't want him?

- [Kai] No!

We didn't want them!

I'm gonna be on TV,

and Mommy and me

are going to be very rich,

and buy a million Legos.

- Right, Mama?

- Right.

p*nis head ♪

Mom, he's calling me p*nis head!

Oliver, stop calling

your brother p*nis head.

That was just the name

of my song.

Uncle f*ck!

Okay, no, no, no, that's it.

No more South Park,

effective immediately.

- Ow!

- Oliver, come on.

He copies everything you say.

He's gonna get kicked out

of school.

That's not my fault!

Why am I always getting blamed

for everything?

Can you keep it down?

I can hear you

through my headphones.

Punish him!

He was saying bad words, Mom!

No more Fortnite!

Okay, Oliver, yes.

Effective immediately,

no more Fortnite.

You're a hostage to a 6-year-old.

You know that, right?

- [playing guitar]

- p*nis head ♪

- p*nis head ♪

- [Kai] Uncle f*ck!

♪♪♪

[cell buttons beeping]

[line ringing]

Hey, it's me.

Yeah, I'm alone.

No, no, they left for Palo Alto

this morning.

♪♪♪

[sighs]

[meows]

[chewing]

[cat meows]

[groans quietly]

- 402.

- [meows]

- [phone ringing]

- Ah!

[in French] Dad, how are you?

[in French] I was worried.

No, I couldn't call you.

I was so busy with my Facebook Page

and Instagram.

You always say it's all nonsense.

No, but nowadays, you can't have

a career without it. You just can't.

It's that or the restaurant goes bankrupt.

Hey, you don't look so well.

No, I fell asleep fully clothed,

I was exhausted, and I got home late.

You haven't sent me your recipe

for your veal carrot stew.

Yes, the veal carrot stew.

Yes, I've started to write it, you know,

but I type really slowly with one finger.

- One finger.

- Just one finger?

Oh, my goodness, I miss you, Daddy.

Don't you want to come visit?

I have enough miles

to get you a free ticket.

It's depressing, right now,

the United States with that guy in power.

At least here, I can go

around the corner for my coffee.

But actually, things aren't great

with Martin right now, you know.

Yes, well, if you never f*ck

But at the same time, if you sleep

fully clothed with your panties on,

it must macerate in there, no?

No, it's not just that. That's not it.

He's putting me down,

he's always critical of me.

Hey, is he a narcissist?

In France, we talk a lot

about narcissists right now.

Dad, he's awake. I have to let you go.

I love you, kisses, Daddy.

I'll call you back. Love you.

Love you. Stand up to him.

[Justine] Shh!

[in French] How are you?

Was that your father again?

Yes, we're talking about recipes.

Wait, Gaston, wait.

- Oh, my, yummy.

- You're giving him tuna? It's expensive.

Yes, but you know that's the only thing

he can digest now.

Gaston?

- Martin, can we talk?

- Talk about

- We could talk about about us.

- Talk about what?

Well, about

Maybe with someone who could help us

Listen, Justine, if you want to be

like all these American idiots,

and have a therapist,

go ahead, be my guest,

but it'll be without me,

I don't have time.

Who's giving you all this advice?

Is that your best friend? Ell, is that it?

You can't deny that her life

is a disaster.

- It's a disaster, do you agree with me?

- Well

So you should distance yourself

a bit from Ell, you know.

And while you're at it, distance yourself

also from Anne, who's always high,

and also from Yasmin,

who's very, very complicated.

You know, Justine,

you could have normal friends.

You should try. You're allowed.

Sweet pea, don't look so down.

Compared to other families,

it's paradise, in our home.

You don't realize that.

- No, but It's okay. I'm tired.

- Give me a kiss.

[meows]

- [meows]

- [Martin tsks]

This is a delicious stew

that is all about the details.

Right?

And my dad is a fanatic

when it comes to details.

Papa Justine!

Anyway, the way you sauté

the meat

and how thick you cut the carrots

is one thing.

But the most important

and the true secret

about the perfect veau aux carottes

is all about

how you massage the meat.

Always with a firm,

yet soft touch.

Like so.

Rubbing it deeply and slowly,

so the oil and the spices

truly penetrate it.

[sighs]

[moans]

Anyway.

♪♪♪

[Justine typing]

"It's not always easy to spot a narcissist

"because they often pretend to be a well

advising friend or husband.

The narcissist denigrates family,

friends, to make a void around you."