01x01 - If You Don't Come Back

[bunniefuu]

[narrator] Once upon a time

in a not-so-distant land,

there was an innocent young man

named Diego.

And in his search for love,

he risked the fate of an entire town.

Soledad, the princess

and future heiress to the throne,

had fallen deeply in love with him,

even though he was just a poor fisherman.

[groans, heavy breathing]

We don't have much time.

Did you bring condoms?

No, I didn't think

we were going to have sex.

But I told you I'd make you see stars.

Holy cow!

So that's what you meant.

What's wrong?

Won't the future king expect you to be

- A virgin?

- Yes.

Virginity is a social construct, Diego.

- We're not in the Middle Ages.

- Actually, we are.

Everyone knows that love

isn't the monarchy's priority.

I'm part of the monarchy,

and love's a priority for me.

It's extra large. Is that okay?

Yeah. Sure, of course.

Yes.

You could be the next king.

[giggles]

No way. I'm a poor fisherman.

And I only have eyes for you.

[narrator] That's how our story began.

The joy of Diego, the poor fisherman,

would become the misery

of everyone in town.

Fátima, tyrannical queen

♪ She's cruel and really mean ♪

♪ She is beyond compare ♪

They found us.

That condom's

way too big for you, kid.

[horse neighs]

Distract them.

♪ She's so strong and vengeful ♪

She is beyond compare

♪ There is no one more powerful ♪

Stand aside.

How dare you?

Honey, please don't embarrass me

in front of the boys.

[guards shout]

Her Majesty Queen Fátima!

[suspenseful music plays]

[sniffs]

[Queen Fátima] Where is he?

[Soledad] Who?

I can still smell the stench of fish.

[sniffs]

[Queen Fátima] Where is he?

You're scaring the unicorn.

When will you understand?

That boy is beneath you.

- What will your

- My mother?

She knows everything. She knows

my love doesn't follow stupid rules.

[guards] Her Majesty the Mexican Queen!

Darling.

Listen to your mother, darling.

I'm listening to you.

Your other mother.

We're at w*r, Soledad.

We can't afford to have rumors

about whether the heiress

is screwing a fisherman.

The common folk could use such weakness

to rise up in arms against the monarchy.

They're not rumors.

I am, in fact, screwing him.

[gasps]

Never say that again.

[Soledad] I'm actually in love with him.

My heart swells when he looks at me,

and his touch makes me feel alive.

Damn, that's so sweet.

Diego's the one, and I'll be with him,

even if I have to jump from a tower

and lie shattered on the ground.

Soledad, please don't be so melodramatic.

Anselmo.

Your Majesty.

Go after him.

Head to the lake and wait there.

We'll seize him at dawn.

[guards] Onward!

[guards] We're off to make him headless

♪ The boyfriend of the princess ♪

♪ That poor fisherman! ♪

♪ He will die penniless ♪

[thunder claps]

[narrator] That night, they decided

to seek help for Diego,

never imagining

that the worst was yet to come.

No.

- He can't stay here.

- It's the only safe place for him.

There's another way.

I'll go to w*r.

[woman laughs]

[Diego] I'm serious.

You?

- You're as fragile as a flower.

- [Anselmo] w*r is for men.

Going to w*r is my only chance

to earn the queens' trust.

They think I'm not worthy

of their daughter.

No one knows how long the w*r will last.

If you go, you'll likely die.

I must take the risk

if I want a life with her.

Tell me,

what do you fear?

That the queens will use my absence

to convince Soledad to marry someone else.

I fear that

over time, her heart will get confused

and she'll fall in love with someone else,

despite knowing

that I'm the love of her life.

Very moving, Fragileboy.

Very moving.

[groans]

[poignant music plays]

There's a solution.

This is the spell of the blue dragon.

But like with every spell

there are dangers. [chuckles]

You'll give it to the princess

for her to look after.

As long as the blue dragon lives,

she won't fall for anyone else.

How does that sound?

Okay, but

What if something happens to the dragon?

- Or if something happens to me?

- Well

In that case,

neither she nor anyone in this town

will ever be able to fall in love.

[whisper] Ever

No. Wait a second. That's not fair.

Careful, Fragileboy.

Love isn't always fair, you know?

[woman chuckles]

Look.

[suspenseful music plays]

This amulet will protect you.

No one will be able

to k*ll you in the w*r.

Once you reunite with the princess,

you must both go to the lake

and release the blue dragon

before the pink moon sets.

That's it.

The spell will be broken.

I'm sorry, but this all seems

so complicated, so I don't know.

Well then, do what you want.

That's impossible.

- Whenever I hear her voice

- Yes, you're so in love.

Don't go taking off the amulet

at any time, Fragileboy.

As long as you wear it,

you will be blessed with light.

But for anyone else,

it will bring only darkness.

[narrator] Diego accepted the deal,

and the spell fell upon the town,

rendering all its inhabitants

unable to love again.

WANTED

I'll care for it with all my heart,

but I'd rather you didn't leave.

Don't worry. Everything will be all right.

[female voice] Sole!

He has to go now.

I'll be back.

If you don't come back ♪

Every single ocean will run dry ♪

And I will wait alone ♪

Lost in the depths of a fading memory ♪

If you don't come back ♪

My will shall become weakened ♪

And I will stay at home ♪

With my dragon watching the horizon ♪

[electronic music plays]

[narrator] In order to break the spell,

three conditions had to be met.

The lovers must be reunited

in this or another life,

they must release the dragon

into the lake together,

and it must be during a pink moon,

which occurs every seven years.

Many years have passed,

and many mistakes

have been made in this tale.

While the fisherman's face

has kept its resemblance to Diego,

the princess's face

has been interpreted incorrectly,

making the search for her

more complicated.

And all because he never came back.

"Or at least not until now."

"Hundreds of years passed,

and countless stories of heartbreak

played out."

"Yet every pink moon,

the town still holds out hope

that the two lovers

will one day meet again."

"And so we live unhappily

ever after."

The end.

I thought it was a kids' tale.

- Let's see the dragon.

- Yes.

Isn't that the fisherman's r*fle?

Yes. Fragileboy had a weapon,

and it still works.

- [tourist] Can we see the dragon or not?

- Yes, let's go.

I have a question. Is it true

that the princess's appearance is wrong?

- That's not true. Mamen, the dragon.

- Sure.

How long do dragons live?

Around 600 years, give or take.

Really? Then it must be on its last legs.

- Let's see it. That's why we're here.

- Yes.

Actually, you might be

the last people to see it.

Remember, no flash photos.

Yeah, it gets spooked.

Ladies and gentlemen,

La Soledad Hotel

presents to the world the blue dragon.

[horn blows]

- Where is it?

- There's nothing there.

[knocks on glass]

It must be taking a nap.

[Mamen] Candela.

What?

It's not taking a nap. Look.

It's dying.

And the cash register is empty.

What do we do?

- Try to sell something. Come on.

- Okay.

While the dragon wakes up,

I'll show you Froilán's dagger.

We also have dragons

you can take home with you, T-shirts

Enamora.

- [moaning]

- [sirens wailing]

[tires screech]

Wait.

Wait. Let's take a break.

- Did you come yet?

- No.

When I do, you'll know about it, honey.

- Don't forget you only have one hour.

- No.

I told Candela until I came.

- Candela didn't

- [woman 1] What happened?

What happened to her? What

Oh, Enamora!

- Did she k*ll herself?

- No, ma'am. She's alive.

What a relief.

Oh, God!

- Who's the suicide attempt?

- [dog barks]

Enamora, the singer

who lives in the hotel.

[dog barks]

Simona, you're stinking up the place

with that fish stench.

- What are you doing here?

- Nothing. I had an issue with

Mind your own business!

- I need clean sheets.

- Oh yeah? Change them yourself. Go on.

- Did she k*ll herself?

- No.

Another failed attempt.

- I can't believe it!

- [door bangs]

Things were bad enough.

I'm trying to help out

by bringing in some money.

I thought you were looking

for the princess.

This gives the hotel a bad reputation.

[woman 1] Maxi, get back here

or I won't pay! I didn't come yet.

[Maxi] I'm sorry. You will, just you wait.

[woman 1] I'd better.

Only half. You did the boat trip

and heard the tale.

It's a rip-off

without a photo of the dragon.

- Here. This is yours.

- No, it's okay.

- I'll come back tomorrow.

- You can't go on the boat again.

- But you'll do the tour?

- Yes.

- What's going on?

- Nothing. Look.

Careful. Take it slow.

[pulsating music plays]

[paramedic 1] We're losing her.

Watch it. She'll crash into the door.

[screams]

Today is the day. I had a vision.

Virgin of Guadalupe, grant this miracle.

Let the spell be broken.

- [paramedic 2] Can we go?

- Thank you. Go ahead.

Don't worry.

No photos, please. No photos.

Thank you very much. Thank you for coming.

See you again soon. Thank you.

Yes, you can go now.

- Thank you very much.

- Thank you.

- Let's go.

- [sirens wail]

AMBULANCE

[woman 1] Where are you going?

- [Maxi] Mom!

- I warned you!

- No orgasm, no money!

- What's she talking about?

- Assholes.

- Nothing.

- Nothing?

- Ignore her, Mother.

- She heard about the suicide and

- She lost it.

Mamen, I saw Simona.

- Did she pay for her room?

- Her boat flooded.

What with Simona's stench

and Enamora's suicide attempts,

- tourism is going to hell.

- Yep.

[man] Enamora, the singer?

She's staying here?

Can you please leave?

The tour's canceled. Thank you.

Enamora and the dragon

are a blessing for the town.

The dragon is dying.

- It's dying?

- Yes.

What do we do?

If it dies, we'll have to get a fake one.

We can't stop this gravy train. Okay?

The tale of the timeless lovers

is what keeps this place afloat.

- How will we make a living?

- This is a dire situation.

But Enamora is a distinguished guest.

And poor Simona needed our help.

We might not be able to fall in love,

but we don't have to be heartless.

You're right, Mother.

The people united will never be defeated.

What if this weekend,

during the pink moon,

we get our miracle

and the lovers are reunited?

Did you talk to Enamora?

Does she still think

Maxi is the reincarnated lover?

I am.

I signed autographs earlier

and posed for photos. They love me.

- Oh, my boy.

- Nonsense.

She said she had a vision.

- What?

- A vision?

She said you should keep an eye out.

Soledad will arrive today.

- Soledad?

- [man 1] Good afternoon.

[woman 2] Hello.

Hi there.

My goodness.

Hello.

Hi.

[suspenseful music plays]

- Name?

- Antonio Gamero.

Antonio Gamero.

- [crack]

- Excuse me.

According to the legend,

no one in this town can ever fall in love

until she's returned to the lake.

Until who's returned?

The blue dragon, of course.

The lovers must release it together

before the end of the pink moon.

Pink moon?

It's an incredible phenomenon

that occurs every seven years.

And it just so happens it's this Sunday.

That's why the dragon festival

is so important this year.

The whole town's hoping

they'll be able to love again.

- Antonio!

- What?

Come. Come here.

[suspenseful music plays]

- It's gone.

- What?

Nothing. Never mind.

Look. You look just like the princess.

- You're right.

- It's uncanny.

- Yeah.

- Spitting image.

Can we get a room, please?

She's in the tale, too,

and it's yours for just 15 euros.

- Ma'am, please.

- Yes, of course.

Antonio

Gamero.

- Mrs. Gamero, your name?

- It's Juana. And I'm not Mrs. Gamero.

- You're not?

- We're not in the Middle Ages.

So you're not Mrs. Gamero.

Gamero's wife, then?

I'm nobody's wife.

Can you just check us in

under my name, please?

Separate beds

so that the princess feels more liberated?

No, a double bed.

Oh, I see.

[bells rings]

[ringtone]

Edurne? Yes, sweetheart.

Sorry I didn't call earlier.

I just arrived.

The town is unremarkable,

but the hotel is quite charming.

The food? No, I haven't tried it yet.

My coworkers and I

are about to grab a bite downstairs.

[bangs fist]

One moment.

Juana, I'll be quick.

I'm tired, Antonio.

You said it'd be like when we were dating.

It's just a phone call.

You can't have everything.

- I don't want everything. I just

- One moment. Just a second, that's all.

And how's our boy?

[horn beeps]

[tires screech]

[over PA] Welcome, ladies and gentlemen!

It's only two days until

Thank you very much.

The tip isn't included.

Good job, Maxi! That's the spirit!

Making the most of the season!

I guess there are advantages

to looking like Diego, huh?

- What's your name?

- Alejandro.

Great. Let's do this.

Right, let's see.

[shutter clicks]

One more. Perfect.

That's enough. Thank you.

Maxi, in your room. Desperate woman.

Is she hot?

[stammers]

Just desperate. You can't have everything.

I thought we wanted win-win deals.

- Maxi, you have to kiss her.

- No.

Why not? Aren't you Diego's reincarnation?

Diego was a romantic.

Exactly. I can't kiss someone

I don't have feelings for.

You have to charge extra, Candela.

No, the price has already been negotiated.

Take her to the concert after.

Enamora's concert?

Yeah, she was discharged two hours ago.

Go on. Do it for the sake of the hotel.

And yours?

[Candela laughs]

Yeah, and for my sake.

And for yours, your mom's, and everyone's.

These are hard times.

Besides,

after this pink moon, we're all doomed.

The boyfriend experience.

What was that again?

Candela!

I recall the song ♪

Feels like just yesterday

In the station, running along ♪

In this life, it can't be

But maybe in our next lives ♪

The train goes so quickly

It takes me to another place ♪

Wishing to come back so badly

Tears running down your face ♪

So much in jeopardy

Your mothers didn't realize ♪

[upbeat music playing]

Now what will I do

Without you for so long? ♪

When our love is nothing more

Than a maybe ♪

Maybe ♪

But we still have

The memories and the tears ♪

- Which floor?

- I don't know!

Desperate client.

- I'm in luck.

- What are you doing?

Sorry, Candela told me

- I have to go.

- We have to kiss.

I don't want trouble with Candela.

The boyfriend experience is fine by me.

Get me out of here.

It wasn't forever ♪

Once upon a time ♪

Once upon a time ♪

Once upon a time happily never after ♪

[Antonio] Juana, you're back.

I'm sorry, my love.

I know this is hard.

And I've said this before.

But this time, I mean it. I'm leaving her.

I want to be with you, Juana.

I swear, I'm leaving her.

This time, I will.

It's true this time.

I'm leaving her. I'm

Apologies, sir.

I came to bring you this.

And to see if you needed anything.

- Do you need anything?

- No, I'm fine. Thanks.

Well, you say "fine,"

but you don't really seem fine.

I mean, I overheard you.

You can leave now, please.

Certainly, sir. Say no more. Of course.

Listen

Is she the love of your life?

Absolutely.

Are you scared of losing her?

More than anything else.

Then you're in the wrong place.

Why?

Well, couples break up in this town.

We're cursed.

We can't fall in love.

Well, we can love, sure.

For example, I love my daughter, Goya.

I cheated on her.

I cheated on the love of my life.

A crazy night.

I got another woman pregnant.

Want a toke?

Yeah, just a little one.

Thank you. Very kind of you.

Thank you.

One single night

versus a years-long relationship.

One night?

You're very fertile!

Life's unfair, you know?

I'd give anything to turn back time

and stop all of this from happening, but

now

that other woman is my wife.

And she

She's the other woman.

But not for much longer.

- You're leaving your wife.

- Correct.

You're good-looking,

sure.

You have a history together, sure.

But she's going to leave you.

This joint is having a bad effect on you.

Anyway, you should probably

ignore what I just said.

In this hotel, we have too few guests

and too many stories.

But yours will be

another story of heartbreak.

I mean, she looks just like the princess.

Okay, that's enough.

Juana is not a princess,

and you're not right in the head.

Please leave.

Of course, sir. My pleasure.

But if you want my advice,

you should start packing.

She's going to leave you.

[thunder claps]

- Who was he?

- It's a long story.

Don't worry, my services are confidential.

[indistinct shouts]

- You look just like

- You chose wrong.

I don't choose anything.

That's Candela's job.

What are you talking about?

What are you talking about?

I'm an atheist.

Candela said you wanted

the boyfriend experience.

- This is what boyfriends do.

- I should go back.

- I thought you wanted everything.

- [bangs]

- [screams]

- Enamora?

Enamora!

Yeah, that's why we're here.

Maybe this is only artificial ♪

[Juana] It's her!

The legend lives, even though

she tried to k*ll herself earlier.

What? Why?

- She's tormented by something.

- Right.

We're all tormented somehow.

We just have to trust

that everything will be okay in the end.

And if it's not okay, it's not the end.

But I don't want

♪ To avoid it like before ♪

♪ And it makes me soar ♪

Like an eagle

♪ That's flying totally free ♪

Far ahead of the storm

♪ Over the valley ♪

Like the wind

♪ When it blows through the city ♪

On a set course

♪ Not looking back or going askew ♪

♪ There's something about you ♪

♪ And it makes me soar ♪

♪ Maybe this will only last ♪

♪ A bit longer ♪

♪ They say that what goes up ♪

♪ Must come back down to the floor ♪

♪ Like the sun among the clouds ♪

♪ Sinking towards the horizon ♪

Knowing that tomorrow

♪It will rise again ♪

♪ And it makes me soar ♪

Like an eagle

♪ That's flying totally free ♪

Far ahead of the storm

♪ Over the valley ♪

- [thunder rattles]

- [snoring]

- [wind howls]

- [thunder rumbles]

Hey! Who's there?

[switch flicks]

Step away from the dragon!

- Goya!

- Maxi!

- Juana!

- Antonio!

- [thunder claps]

- [gasps]

[squeaks]

[microphone buzzes]

[screams]