01x04 - Episode 4

[bunniefuu]

Why, hello. So after Janet and

Samuel sold the drugs they found

to Vinnie, they were rolling in it.

See what I did there?

Janet made Peter an offer

he really wanted

I really do want it, yeah.

Yeah.

..to get custody of Alan.

Mum!

But, sure enough, Guy found them

and took them to

The Tailor.

Tailor? Le Tailleur. But, like most

things, it sounds better in French.

And he'd have k*lled them

then and there

The product on that boat

should fetch twice the amount

you were paid.

..but fate intervened because The

Tailor had fallen in love with

Pat Tooh, with an H.

..and she texted him back

just at the right time

to save Janet and Samuel's skin.

Go on, take it. Have another day.

Come on, let's go.

Jesus H Christ.

All the branches in a tree

come from the same trunk.

Everything is connected. At least,

that's what we tell ourselves

to make sense of this world.

And so we look to things

like fortune and fate.

Remember this lady?

Would you like your fortune read,

darling?

I think it's best I don't.

That fortune teller's name is Katia,

and you're going to see

how she plays a part

in the story of Vinnie

Calling Katia.

She'll know what to do.

..who plays a part

in the story of Janet

VINNIE!

..who plays a part in

All the branches

come from the same trunk.

Like this shipping container.

Or Janet bleeding on the floor.

Or a hunter and a huntee,

sitting and waiting for Godot.

Or a cold murderous heart

that's ready to thaw.

Yes, all the branches

come from the same trunk,

but sometimes

we need to cut the tree down.

Only then

can we make sense of it all.

It wasn't a dream.

But now, looking back,

it feels like it was.

I looked it up.

The bird I saw.

A yellow cardinal.

You don't get them in this country.

Even in the States,

where they're from,

chances of seeing them in the wild

are a million to one.

What?

Why would it be there?

How? How could it be there,

when it really f*cking shouldn't be?

Perhaps the world

is trying to tell you something.

Good fortune, Vincent.

You are about to get everything

you ever wanted.

I want an empire.

Do you not already?

This? A mid-sized town.

Big village, maybe.

I'm talkin' massive f*ck-off

Roman-style, elephants and sh*t.

What?

Someone will betray you.

Someone important to you.

Who's that, then?

I cannot say.

Then what am I supposed to do, then?

This is your fate, Vincent.

No, it can't be.

Being the main man.

Wearing the crown.

Gives you f*cking neck-ache and all.

These people aren't just my

lieutenants. They're my brothers.

So were Cain and Abel.

Who?

Never mind.

We've all known each other

since primary school.

Since the short shorts.

It can't be one of them.

Gaz - we lost

our virginity together.

Not to each other. To women.

Same room, like.

Bottlehead and his nan took me in

when my dad went inside

and my mum went outside

and never came back.

Little Pete got his face smashed in

sticking up for me in an argument

with some London twats

about cheddar what got out of hand.

And Big Pete

Well, Big Pete's Big Pete.

f*ck's seen me cry 14 times.

One time we cried together.

I think it were Lion King

what did it.

They're the only people in my life.

It can't

It can't be them. It can't.

So do you mean, like,

that's why I'm betrayed?

Cos I finally get my empire?

Or is it, like, the other way round?

Like, I'm only betrayed cos

I'm going next-level, empire-wise?

I can only tell you

what's in the cards.

You can't control your destiny,

only accept it.

Well, bollocks to that.

All right, boys?

All right, Vin?

Vin, what the bloody arsehole

is that?

That, boys,

is none of your business, OK?

What's it for? Is it?

There's one rule.

You don't go inside

that shipping container.

That's all I'm asking.

It's my business, this.

Just

..trust me.

Come on, come on, come on,

come on, come on.

Come on, come on, come on,

come on, come on.

Here's where the branches

of our tree start to connect.

..and you're amateurs,

and I do not work with amateurs.

That's it, is it?

Business does not start like this.

Not for Kosovar. No, no, no.

Boss, where are you going? Calling

Katia. she'll know what to do.

..my f*ck', er,

what you said, my chance,

the, er, the empire,

only it's f*cked now. Calm down,

calm down. What are you?

Biggest deal of my life

and I'm all up in my head.

I'm about to tank the whole thing

cos I keep stop thinking about

what you said,

how I'm going to be betrayed.

I told you -

the two don't go hand-in-hand.

What am I meant do I do?!

I take the plunge

and run the risk of getting f*cked.

Or I walk away,

forever looking back,

always wondering

if I might have made a mistake.

I drew the card of the sun.

Good fortune is going to be yours.

Don't run from it.

Bang on.

Wait, wait! Wait there!

See, I've never done a deal this big

before. Do you believe in fate?

Absolutely.

Me too. So let's start again.

Someone will betray you.

Someone will betray you.

Someone will betray you.

Someone will betray you.

I knew it was you!

I saw you! I f*cking saw you, mate,

so don't you f*cking look at me

like that!

Go on, then. Explain yourself.

What the f*ck, Vinnie?

What the f*ck? Did you or did you

not go into that shipping container?

No, I I had a camera on it.

I were watching you the whole time.

I saw you.

OK, OK, I went in it, all right?

I was curious.

I just wanted to know

what was in it,

but there's nothing in there, Vin!

It's empty! Exactly.

What? Why's it empty? So the person

that went in there would know

there is nothing in betrayal!

Let's find out what's inside!

Come on, lad.

Come on.

Go on, Big Peter.

Go on, Big Pete.

Do it!

I'm sorry.

We're all the hero

in our own stories, aren't we?

Even this guy.

Vin, are you sure

this is going to be OK?

I know it is.

But there's only three of us.

It don't matter.

I cheated fate, didn't I?

It's all gravy from here, lads.

We go back too far

to let this sh*t get in the way.

It's over now, yeah?

Yeah?

Vinnie!

Vinnie!

Get out here,

I need to talk to you!

It's me!

What you? What the f*ck?

What?

What happened to your accent?

I need to tell you something.

The truth is everything

Everything's gone

very f*cking wrong.

Go on, take it,

have another day.

Guy will keep an eye on you.

I hope you find the money.

Come on, let's go.

Come on.

Right, who's hungry?

I'm really sorry

I couldn't be there.

But you had a good day, yeah?

89. That's a f*cking great age, Nan.

Here you are, love.

Don't ever forget that, I mean that.

Look, do me a favour, put your feet

up and have a beer on me.

Yes, you know I love ya.

So, you lot figured out a way

to rustle up five million quid yet?

We're working on it.

You know, it could be a lot worse.

I mean, usually by now

you'd be having your eyelids

stapled wide open

so you could watch your own guts

being cut out of you.

And believe me,

that's him in a good mood.

Look, I don't know what the sh*t's

got into him, I really don't.

But I have never, ever seen him

give anyone a second chance

and I mean not ever.

So if I was you, you know,

I'd make the best of it.

We're trying.

Oh and, um, thanks for not

running off, by the way.

I'd hate to k*ll everyone in here.

Now, look at that.

Oh!

Now, that

is one hell of a muffin.

How's them eggs?

Fine.

How can you even?

I eat when I'm nervous.

Just like you talk.

What about your lawyer friends?

They must be rich. Aren't they rich?

Don't exactly have a lot of friends

left. There's got to be someone.

Oh, is this funny to you?

No, it's, erm

It's like watching mice

trying to climb out of a bath.

Erm

I I need a poo.

The loo is right there.

No.

Look, we are going to be

stuck together for another day.

We are all at some point going to

need to go for a number two.

Please.

All right.

But I mean it, if you are not back

in two minutes, I'll k*ll him.

I'm not going anywhere.

I'm a mouse in a bath, remember?

Oi, what happens when you need to

go? What are you going to do then?

You haven't thought this through.

We'll improvise.

What was the worst day of your life?

Cos believe it or not,

this is not my worst day.

People talk about hitting

rock-bottom. Rocks? Christ!

There's a lot more than rocks

down there. There's broken glass,

barbed wire, razors so sharp they'll

cut you just looking at them.

You want to know my worst day?

No, I don't.

I gambled my house away

without my wife knowing a thing.

I love my family,

but I did it anyway.

Cos, see, I was just swept up

trying to chase that one sure thing.

I mean, you chase the next

What's happened? I just found her

like this. Are you a doctor? No.

She's a friend of mine. Let me get

her up, let's get her to hospital.

No, no, no, no, don't touch her.

I've called an ambulance.

It's on its way.

It's all right, love.

It's all right. I know.

Someone just came in -

Janet Campbell.

Ah, yes, just came in.

Janet Campbell.

Yeah. I literally

just said her name.

She's being assessed by the doctor

right now. Can we see her?

We just want to know if she's OK.

We're worried about her.

Yeah. Really worried.

Take a seat.

A doctor will come and see you

shortly.

Usually I'd talk about

some other character at this point,

but often times life is just this.

Waiting.

Not knowing what's going on

behind a closed door.

Do the branches know that

they're part of something bigger?

Or do they think

they themselves are trees?

I'm telling you now,

she'd better not be faking it.

Why would she fake it?

People do all kinds of sh*t

when their lives are on the line.

I've seen it a million times.

She wouldn't do that to me.

Oh. You good friends? Besties?

In no way. But she's not lying. I've

seen her lie, she's not that good.

Well, we're here now.

Do you regret that?

What?

sh**ting up

an entire police station.

There's no point in regret.

You can't change sh*t

that's already happened.

Watch where you're going!

Sorry, we're seriously understaffed

at the moment.

Insert NHS joke here!

Just to check - you're here for

Janet Campbell, yeah.

Right, well, we're just getting her

into surgery now.

Is she going to be OK?

We don't know, is the honest answer.

A bleed like that, I'm thinking

a burst ovarian cyst, most likely,

but until we get her into theatre,

we won't know for sure.

We'll update you as soon as

we know anything. Thank you, Doctor.

Tick tock.

So there's

there's really nothing you regret?

I'm just asking a question.

You're doing it again.

Doing what?

You're trying to ingratitude

yourself so I don't k*ll you.

Ingratiate. And, no, I'm just

Just trying to make conversation.

You know, if I was you,

I'd be more worried about

thinking of a way

how I'm going to find all that

money. Believe you me, I am.

So they waited some more,

and while Janet's life hung in the

balance, so too did Samuel's.

Their fates now were intertwined,

and the only thing that could

separate them was death.

Or, you know, finding £5 million.

Whichever came first.

Hey, hey, any news

on Janet Campbell? Janet?

Sorry, I were just coming to update

you. The, uh, the surgery went well,

a colleague's closing her up now,

and then she'll be in recovery.

Right, so I can see her?

When she's awake, yes.

Well, when's that going to be? As

soon as we can. I'll come find you,

I promise. She's going to be OK now.

That's the main thing.

She's going to be OK.

Yeah, right.

Tick tock.

You enjoy it, don't you?

Taunting me. You're a bully.

I'm not a bully.

Oh, yeah, well, what are you, then?

I don't know.

I'm a henchman, I suppose.

I do what I'm told.

And you're OK with that?

I get paid very well for that.

Oh, and money makes the world

go round, oh, right, yeah.

You know, you talk too much.

You k*ll too much.

Does your wife ever say to you,

"Just shut the f*ck up"?

No. Actually.

I mean, she doesn't always listen.

Oh, please, mate. Please.

Do I look like

your f*cking therapist?

You do a bit, to be honest.

I swear to God if you say tick tock

again I wasn't going to.

Did I, um? Yeah, you snored.

Well, I'm sorry about that.

Listen, I'm glad you didn't, um

Well, I figured you'd hunt me down,

so

That I would.

I have no doubt.

Do you regret it?

I mean the gambling and that.

Every day.

So tell me, how'd you give up?

I ran out of money.

Hand on heart,

if it wasn't for that I'd still be,

chucking 50s at the 30/1

at Cheltenham.

You know, you asked me

..is there anything I regret

..and there is.

It's not the blood, the bones, the

bodies that I've burned and buried.

It's not the scars and it's not

coming this close to death

or the child I've left

without a parent.

You see,

before I started this job

..I was lost.

Growing up as a kid,

I wanted to be a boxer.

But they told me one head injury

later, you know,

"You'll be eating liquid food

through a crazy straw

"for the rest of your life."

Then there's a bunch of

bad decisions, bad relationships,

bad everything.

And the opposite of that,

you know, when you touch it

and it turns to gold, what is that?

The Midas touch.

Right.

There was this one day.

For some reason I just woke up

and I felt, f*ck I felt it.

Like the world had something

in store for me after all.

And I looked over at this vase

on my mantelpiece.

My grandad made it,

and I hung onto it after he died.

I swear to you,

every time I looked at it,

it just took me to this other place.

The lines, the curves,

the way it just

I feel like a f*cking idiot

even saying it, but

..I really felt it.

You know, for some people

it's music or love, but

..for me it was that vase.

So what is it that you regret?

Well, that day, I found a place

that did pottery classes,

I pulled some money out,

and I went down there.

And I stood there, I stood outside

looking through the window for

..maybe 20 minutes.

And you didn't go in?

No.

I felt stupid.

I just thought to myself, "This

isn't me. Guy, this is not you."

Then two days later,

I broke someone's legs

for two grand, and that was that.

Thanks.

For telling me that.

I know what you're doing,

and it ain't working.

What am I doing?

You're trying to bond with me.

Like we're in one of them

soppy f*cking films.

And the story is that

we're stuck together,

and if you get under my skin,

then I might

Maybe I might let you

walk away from all this.

Maybe I might not k*ll you.

But that's not how it works.

Not in the real world.

Um

You'll find it harder, at least.

OK, f*ck this.

Sir? Can I help you?

Excuse me, can I help you?

Yeah, I'm looking for a friend,

Janet Campbell.

You're not supposed to be back here.

Came in for, um, I don't know,

you know, like, a period type thing.

Got one hand.

Oh, I remember her,

but she left quite a while back.

Left? But what about her surgery?

She didn't have any surgery,

just a few stitches.

Now can I please ask you

to return outside?

We can't have just anyone

wandering around back here.

I trusted her.

Yeah, well, she obviously

didn't trust you.

Maybe I didn't trust her entirely.

I put a tracking app on her phone.

I know exactly where she is.

We're going to leave Samuel

feeling all betrayed for a moment

and go take a look

at our third branch.

Oh.

Oh.

Good afternoon.

Afternoon yourself.

You look good.

As do you.

Oh! No, I don't know,

I feel a bit underdressed.

Well, you're perfect as you are,

my dear.

You didn't say where we were going.

Normally, I would like

to take you to the opera,

but I have secured for us

a reservation at La Table du Jean.

Oh, I don't I don't know that one.

One Michelin star.

It's a drive away,

but it will be acceptable.

Are we lost? We could turn round,

go back to mine.

No, no. We are

just temporarily misplaced.

Oh, excuse me, sorry.

I need to answer.

Oui, allo?

..love grows

where my Rosemary goes

And nobody knows like me ♪

People say she she's crazy

And her life's a mystery

Oh, but love grows

where my Rosemary goes

And nobody knows ♪

You OK?

I'm fine. My apologies.

Wait.

Oh! I must have dropped the car keys

out there.

Oh.

Well, they cannot have gone far.

Hang on, what about over here?

Oh! It's no use.

I'll call my son, get him to come

and give us a lift.

No, no, not now. I mean

Oh!

I had a feast.

A celebration to end all

celebrations planned for us.

Yeah, well, we'll just have to

miss out on that.

There is a tavern over there.

We could, er

He won't be long. But, you know,

we should try to snatch

some small degree of victory

from the jaws of defeat.

Don't you think?

We are looking for a drink. Don't

get a lot of foreigners in here.

No. No, because, er, this place

is sort of, how do you say

..a sh*thole?

What you having, mate?

What?

You. Here. This place.

I just would never have pictured it

is all.

I love the finer things in life,

yes, but this

This is who I am really.

Well, you could've fooled me.

My husband, now he was a welder.

Him, I could see

in a place like this.

You?

My father's shop ran into trouble.

He had to sell the business

for nothing.

He and my mother separated.

There were dark times.

I swore to myself

I would be somebody.

I would come to the point that

I could buy my father's shop back.

And it still runs today, you know?

That must've been hard,

growing up like that.

I remember, if ever there was

food on the table,

how we would, we would fall upon it,

like vultures, my brother and I.

Is that who was in the picture?

Yes.

My twin brother. Identical.

We were best of friends.

Until the accident.

What happened?

A car crash.

Oh!

Tombe La Neige.

That's what you said when we met.

Yes, it was on the radio

when my brother and father died.

Oh.

I'm so sorry.

So much loss.

And now your son.

Who?

On the boat.

Yes.

Our scars tell the story

of who we are, Madame Bethune.

That is the second time

you've called me that.

Oh, forgive me. I'm sorry.

Well, who was she?

An ex or what?

You OK?

Oh, look. I can't believe

it's still light outside.

Look!

What?

Come!

Where are we going?

Come! Come! It's fate.

Push me! Push me!

Oh, OK.

OK, are you ready?

Yes.

Whee!

Whee!

Yoo-hoo!

Yes!

And then

..then they kissed.

Mummy?!

Oh, hey, love.

I forgot I called you.

Unbelievable. Come on.

Not in my car, all right? Come on.

So do you have a name?

They call me The Tailor.

Mr Taylor.

THE Tailor.

Do you have an actual name or what?

Mm you can call me Dad.

This is a police vehicle, you know.

I can't have anyone sicking up

in it, all right?

Oh, all right.

Yes, officer. I'm with you.

Ben takes his job dead serious,

don't you, love? I do and all.

How's the stakeout going?

Er, nothing so far.

But it's all about patience, eh?

Mm.

He's found a clue.

About those fellas who were shot

at t'police station.

You do? Mummy, that is

confidential police business!

I'm sorry.

But, yeah, I'm onto something.

I've been staking out

this Chinese restaurant.

I think they'll come back.

And then - bam!

You do not think that whoever

was responsible for such a crime,

that they may not already have fled?

Why would they risk arrest

for Chinese food?

That's what I said. Look

I did say that, love.

Yeah, I know, but sometimes you've

got to take what clues you can get,

all right? Even the small ones.

Also those capital spare ribs

are bloody excellent.

Guys, can you not?!

Yes?

I need a poo.

The loo is right there. No.

We are going to be stuck together

for another day. We are all going

to need to do a number two

at some point. All right.

But I mean it, if you are not

back in two minutes, I'll k*ll him.

I'm not going anywhere.

I'm a mouse in a bath, remember?

Oi, what happens when you need to

go? What are you going to do then?

You haven't thought this through.

We'll improvise.

We meet again.

The SHO on-call said you refused

to be examined by anyone but me.

Yeah, listen, I Paramedics

also said you got rather violent

when they tried a physical

assessment. I slapped his hand,

it were hardly But you feel safe

with me. That's good.

And I'm not surprised.

There's nothing wrong with me, OK?

I just cut my leg.

So just give me a plaster,

I'll be fine. You cut yourself

..so you could see me again?

What? No! No! Ah, listen to me.

There are two men outside.

I need you to go up to them and

tell them that I am seriously ill

and I am in surgery. OK? Please.

I'm a doctor, love.

I take an oath when I take this job.

The Hippocratic Oath is

I will forward the d*ck pic

you sent me to your wife.

So what do these men look like?

..sh**ting up an entire

police station? No point in regret.

You can't change sh*t

that's happened.

Watch where you're going!

Sorry, we are seriously

understaffed.

Insert NHS joke here!

Just to check - you're here for

Janet Campbell, yes. Right, well,

we're just taking her in to surgery

now. Is she going to be OK?

f*ck's sake.

Oh!

Hello!

Hi. Listen, it's a very long

Yeah, it has been a while,

hasn't it?

Yeah, we moved up to the north

Can you spare a moment to talk about

our Lord Jesus Christ?

No. I really can't.

We can walk with you.

We want to tell you

about the redemption

Why don't you come back another day?

There's a bloke who lives here

called Samuel. I'm sure he'd love to

talk all about redemption. OK, bye.

Well, when we can see this Samuel?

Hello?

What happened?

Alan! Alan, I wanted to call you

to explain

Sorry, I'm in the music shop.

Told Dad I needed a new mouthpiece.

Yeah. Look, what I said

to ya outside the pub,

I didn't mean You know

You know I don't think that.

Then why?

You show up with two men

that I've never seen before,

and then you scream at me.

It's It's very complicated.

Neurophysiology is complicated.

We're not.

Or at least

we're not supposed to be.

I thought we told each other

everything.

I'm in trouble, love, OK?

I did something bloody stupid,

and now I'm trying to fix it,

but I don't know if I can.

What kind of trouble?

Could you not go to t'police

or summat?

No. It's past that now.

But whatever happens, yeah,

I want you to know

I have to go. Dad's coming in.

Right!

..and, finally, if you've glimpsed

an exotic bird in your garden,

you're not seeing things.

The Westworth Aviary had a break-in,

and hundreds of rare birds

are now free

and making use of the local area.

If you see something

that doesn't look local

Vinnie!

Vinnie!

Vinnie, get out here!

I need to talk to you!

Come on! It's me! Vinnie!

What you? What the f*ck?

What?

What happened to your accent?

I need to tell you something.

The truth is everything

Everything has gone

very f*cking wrong.

I lied to you.

I grew up three miles from here.

The only drug dealer

I've met in my life is you.

Whatever this is, love, I don't

have time for it. Business is done.

Except you underpaid me a lot.

What?

You want a refund?

I found those drugs.

I looked up Kosovar online,

I've never met anyone involved

with them in my life

but word got back to them that me

and my friend were using their name,

and sh*t, they're not

They're not happy.

How is this any of my problem?

Maybe it's best to show you.

I came home to find this

waiting for me.

m*therf*cker!

I got a call saying I'm next

if I don't bring them the money

or the drugs.

Well, I can't give you the sh*t

back, I've moved most of it already.

And this is your mess, love,

not mine.

Everything OK, boss?

Albanians, mate.

Sick, sick b*stards, the lot of 'em!

The man whose head you just saw,

he told Kosovar about you,

so this is our problem now, right?

They will find us and they will

very slowly and painfully k*ll us.

Unless I do it first

for dragging me into this, you c**t!

I said I'd meet them tonight

with what they want, right?

But they won't be expecting you

to be there. You and your crew.

You want us to ambush them?

Must be f*cking joking.

So cos of your f*ck-up, you want me

to deal with them Kosovar nut-jobs?

Look, I know how many of them

there are, right?

We know where they'll be.

I've got an advantage. We have.

What do you reckon, boys?

You can't build an empire without

breaking heads, innit?! Huh?

Come on, let's get Little Pete.

It's fate.

It's fate, boys!

In a man or woman's lifetime

comes a time where

they've got to trust somebody.

But how do you know

who you can trust?

Cos we might all be heroes

in our own stories,

but sooner or later,

we might realise

it ain't our story after all.

We ain't nothing but walk-ons.

Little Pete, you keep lookout.

You see anything you don't like,

you tell us.

Do I get a g*n as well?

sh**ting privileges will be returned

when you're good and ready.

Go on, dickhead!

Car approaching, Vinnie.

Got ya. Boys.

Boys, boys, boys, boys, boys!

Hello. How are you doing?

What the f*ck?! You said he were

dead! You showed me his head!

Well, he don't look dead to me.

Who the f*ck are you?!

I'm with him.

Here's the keys, quick.

Did he buy the whole thing about

the tracking? I'm sorry. What?

He took my phone

But if he took it then

what the f*ck are we doing here?

Calm down. Calm down.

Everyone, calm down.

Calm down.

It's OK.

Vinnie, yes?

What's happening?

We haven't met, but these two

wanted to bring us here

so that we might k*ll one another

and make their problems go away.

Huh?

I don't understanding f*ck'

Albanian.

French. "Attention," huh?

It means always plan ahead.

I didn't expect these idiots to find

my money in just 24 hours, you know?

I am not the kind of fool

who loses his car keys, huh?

Eh?

I bring these two to

bring you up to the surface.

See?

No?

I had a feeling that they may return

to you in search of the money.

You and your entourage.

Did you see that?

Ah! You know,

I have decided I may be staying

here, in this part of the world.

Which means that, uh,

I do not want competition.

Nor rivalry.

All of this to say,

this is just, uh

It's just business, you understand?

Yeah,

everything happens for a reason.

You string a man up

like a human pinata,

maybe he's not going to warn you

about the guy with a sn*per r*fle.

k*ll them all.

And sometimes, even the best laid

plans, Janet and Samuel here,

hoping their enemies would just

go ahead and eliminate each other,

go real wrong real fast.

What's the reason there?

This guy?

This guy?

Or just bad f*cking luck?

Maybe that bird there

was an omen after all.