01x02 - Episode 2

[bunniefuu]

Remember Janet?

Remember this? And remember,

she's got a new hand now.

And she used to live with this guy

and raised his son like her own.

Only now they broke up and she is

not allowed to see him any more,

which is sh*t. That's sh*t.

Oh, and Alan thinks his dad

is hiding something from him.

Anyway, Janet met a guy

called Samuel on the beach

and they found this.

And Samuel said

I think I know someone who'd give us

a lot of money for this.

And Janet was like

Where would we keep it?

But as Samuel left the beach,

someone was watching.

Meanwhile, the mysterious tailor

wanted to know

So he sent his men to search

the police evidence room.

They didn't find nothing.

Even left some

evidence of their own behind.

We also met a police officer

called Arthur

And The Tailor reckoned

You have something of mine, I think.

And Arthur went

You gotta find me first.

Then the last thing that

happened was this.

And hell knows what that was about.

Anyway, let's get started, shall we?

Are you seeing what I'm seeing?

Jesus.

Not quite.

Although they do say

He works in mysterious ways.

Why aren't you calling the police?

Do you want me to?

Why would we not?

That's what I'm asking.

It's a question.

I know it's a question.

Look at him.

He can smell it now -

the alluring stink of opportunity.

What is it people call it? Right -

the horns of a dilemma.

But I know what's right.

I know what I need to ask him.

I need to turn to him and I need to

say - we can't just keep it.

'Ere. I've found it.

It's not some five-pound note

Wow!

Wow indeed.

I'm gonna just wait

No. Stick around.

You might learn something.

Sit down.

Filled with treats and surprises.

My future's in that box.

Our future, Janet.

Let's take it.

Very well.

Whatever lies before us,

whatever fate has in store,

we must remember this

..we made our bed, Samuel.

And we

..must lie in it.

In it, we must lie.

Yeah.

If the world's a stage

and we are merely players,

remember that whatever the game,

some players always feel left out.

Cheers. Sorry.

Like they just don't fit in.

I think that's everything.

Thanks. No wozza.

Oh, boss asked to see you.

Said he wants you on this.

Me? You serious?

That's what he said.

This is what it feels like to

be seen, Jenny.

Jesus.

Anything you want me to do, Sir,

you tell me, I'm ready.

The media are leaving their sh*t

everywhere.

It's starting to look like

Glastonbury. I want you to tidy up.

Get yourself one of them

grabber things.

Oh, right. It's just I thought you

might want me on the case.

This is the biggest and most

horrific thing ever to happen

in this town.

We have every department up and down

the country offering

every resource they have.

Why on earth would I ask you?

OK.

Meanwhile, Janet was waking up,

and remembering what she'd done

the day before.

And I'm not talking about

the karaoke.

Oh Er

Keys.

Hey.

Hiya.

Hey, psst.

Hiya. Hi.

Feels like we're spies always

meeting like this.

Of course we are spies,

Agent Kalashnikov, from Russia.

Go Putin

Don't you think it's time to

retire the old Russian spy thing?

Yo know, world events and all.

Net!

Sorry.

Are you all right?

You got me worried when you called

yesterday about your dad.

I don't know. Probably nothing.

It's just sometimes it feels like

there's something always

up with him.

Right. I shall leave you here.

Don't want the teachers

telling on me again.

Crikey

You all right?

There's an awful lot of

police around today

with g*ns and all.

Didn't you see the news?

What's in the news?

Morning, w*nk*r!

They're playing my song.

See you tomorrow? Of course, yeah.

Love you. Ditto.

Oh, my God.

Yeah? Have you forgotten? What?

We're meeting my ex-client

in prison,

I told you last night after

I'd Do Anything For Love,

open-brackets,

But I Won't Do That,

close-brackets.

Oh, right, yeah.

No, sorry. Sorry, yeah, I forgot.

And that. What, my hand? Aye.

Oh, my Come on.

Oh, that's a shame,

I'd popped a little b*mb in that.

Oh, well.

Hell of a coincidence,

don't you think?

What are you talking about?

The sh**ting.

What do you think I'm talking about?

Nothing happens in this place

for hundreds of years and then

You don't think No.

Headlines said two gunmen.

Nothing about a boatload of cocaine.

Nothing about

Last time I saw you, I was having

20 years of my life surgically

removed from me

by Judge Fannyblaster.

How you been, Craig?

Not on the clock now, am I?

Rates you charge No. No.

It's not about you. It's

We need your advice.

Janet and I, we found something

Janet, was it?

Janet, this is nothing personal,

but I don't know you from Eve.

Whatever it is you wanna ask, mate,

I'd prefer to keep it between us.

Where am I supposed to go?

You could get us some snacks?

Snacks

f*ck's sake.

Brilliant.

The machine's broken.

Sorry, but I chose something

and then it just

Oh, it's

It fell down while you were coming.

Who the f*ck chooses a Bounty?

It's the only thing they had left.

So, do you know anyone

who would buy it?

Wait, I thought he was gonna

Bollocks, no!

That sh*t's what put me

in this place in the first place.

I'm out in three months,

and I've done enough time to realise

that doing any more time is

a waste of time.

Time that could be spent

in the theatre.

A real, actual theatre.

Proper lights, a fancy green room,

male-female cast

We need to sell it yesterday.

I'll make it worth your while.

You better tread careful, you two.

Or you're going to end up

Oh, right, yeah.

Very clever.

But it also makes you think.

Plea Please. Just ask around.

This monster of a haul you say

you've got - it belongs to someone.

And they're gonna be

wanting it back.

You've started digging a big

old hole, you two.

Better make sure it's big enough to

fit two coffins.

It's good to see you, boss.

How was your journey?

Save your pleasantries.

If you did your job,

I wouldn't have to be here.

This is where the boat was found?

Washed up right there.

Listen, that copper you spoke to,

Arthur Lake,

he's gone to ground,

but we will find him.

And we will get this sh*t back,

I'm telling you. It's all in hand.

I'm hungry.

Look, you gotta trust me on this.

What can I eat?

Uh, depends what you're looking

for, really.

I've got some lovely pasties

Oh, pastries?

Pasties.

Pastries?

Pasties.

Pastries?

Pasties.

I don't understand. I'm sorry.

You've never seen a pasty before?

I cannot say I have.

Oh, when in Rome, love

Is it always so cold?

No.

Sometimes it's colder.

Really?

Ta.

And then it struck him

Oh, mon dieu.

It's like croissant

with meat inside!

I'm glad you like it!

You say everything is in hand,

and yet you went into that police

station with an iron fist.

Did I ask you to make headlines?

Well, you wanted answers.

And we had to get up

here from London.

And to be honest with you,

we can't afford to f*ck around.

Do you remember Edward?

One more mistake,

you will end up like him.

You understand?

I will gut you. Yeah, yeah.

I understand.

If you do not now, then you will.

It's good. Try one.

Come on, man, pick up!

Pick up.

Monkey, Mr Monkey, Mr, Mr Monkey

Mr Monkey, Mr Monkey,

Mr, Mr Monkey, Monkey ♪

Hey, pack it in a sec.

Oh, voice-call!

Greg. Old-school, mister. Me likey!

Jesus, thank Christ.

Where you bloody been?!

I'm in t'car, actually,

with t'fam. Say, "Hi, Uncle Arthur."

Hi, Uncle Arthur! Hi, Uncle Arthur!

Hiya, kids. Hiya.

We've been to Monkey World!

Listen to me.

I just need to speak to your dad

about something, all right?

Nathan crushed it in footie this

morning, didn't you, mate? Yeah.

That's great, mate.

But, listen I really need to

speak to your dad about somet

And Cassie's dance,

just flipping sublime, honestly.

Got to see t'video. There's this bit

where she'll kick

Just take me off the f*ck-

Just take me off the speaker.

I'm not supposed to drive

holding my phone.

Right. I'm sorry.

It's instant points.

I need money.

Yeah, someone, er f*ck' 'ell.

There's someone's after me.

What do you

What do you mean after you?

Cassie, don't do that

to your brother.

I can't explain right now

but I am knee-deep

in a world of f*cking sh*t.

Now, I've been a good big

brother, haven't I?

I've looked out for you, and that.

Now I need your help. Please.

I've emptied my accounts

but I can't use a credit card, so

So whatever you've got.

What have you done?

Look, I'll erm

I'll text you t'address, yeah?

All right.

Just hurry up, yeah?

All right, see you in a bit. Bye.

You OK?

Mr Monkey, Monkey, Mr Monkey,

Mr, Mr Mon- ♪

Right now in a room somewhere is

an actual boatload of cocaine

and these two are sitting on it.

But I'm keeping my distance,

Andy, mate.

It's all about

the mise en scene now.

Amen, brother.

I'm not going to be able to sleep

a bloody wink tonight.

Big day, tomorrow.

The biggest.

It's a second chance for me, mate,

to do the things I want to do.

Exercise, reading, charity work,

just being in nature,

doing things for others.

For the first time in my life,

Craig, I'm really excited.

Life begins.

It's me 2.0.

I need a gram, Vinnie, maybe two.

I tried going straight, I have,

I tried so hard to do life proper.

You been out two days.

It seemed much longer.

Have you forgotten

before you went away, you owed me?

f*ck, you owed me.

I know

I can make it up to you.

My cellmate

at Slimpton, Craig Dodds,

he heard about a couple

of people selling.

You always talked about next level,

yeah, well, these two,

what they have got,

it's next level.

Thing is, I want to go in with you,

like, be a partner, like.

Cos if I'm gonna go straight,

I'm gonna, like, need money

and stuff, you know

What do you say? You and me.

Shhhh

Come on, let's talk in the barn, eh?

Eh?

Now, there are a lot of

bad people in this world.

Thing is, Andy, you still owe me.

And you just gave me Craig's name

and where to reach him.

So why the bollocks would

I give you a f*cking bean, mate?

And Vinnie was one of them

No! No! No! Please!

Tie his legs! Tie his legs!

No! No, please! Help!

Shhhh

You ain't got the cash to pay me,

so I got another idea.

You ever seen them pinatas,

Andy, eh?

They beat those b*stards till

the treasure inside falls out.

No! No!

No! Get me down!

Shall we see what falls out, Andy?

Yeah,

he was a real son of a b*tch.

Samuel. It's Craig.

Forgive the hour,

but there's never a convenient time

to take the mobile

out my arsehole.

Yeah. Right. Hi.

I got a call.

Fella named Vinnie Douglas,

he wants to meet you.

He wants to buy it?

Oh, yeah.

But you should know, this Vinnie

put the bloke who told him

about you in hospital.

You have been warned.

Now, if I send you his number,

I want something in return.

Yeah. Yeah. Sure. Sure. Sure.

What is it you want? 10%? 20%?

No. Life rights.

What now?

Life rights.

I'm a storyteller, mate.

And there's a story here

worth telling.

Long as Vinnie doesn't just k*ll you

after you hand over the drugs.

Couldn't even get a two-parter

out of that.

I'll text you Vinnie's number

when I can.

Not bad! Next up.

Oi, w*nk*r!

Dodge this, you twat!

Ah! Ah!

sh*t, I didn't mean to hit him.

sh*t!

Hiya. Erm, Alan Alan Jeffries.

I got a call saying he was here

Janet! Mike.

Mike Weathers.

We went to school together.

Oh. Right, yeah.

We made that model!

What was it of again?

I want to say volcano,

but maybe a barge.

I'm actually looking for someone.

Sorry.

I can help! I'm a doctor now!

Come on.

Oh, yeah. Right, yeah.

Oh there he is..

Love, hiya.

I was so worried.

It's just a scratch, really.

Landed between my toes.

Tell you what really hurts -

the fact they put the milk in first.

Barbarians, they are.

Are you OK?

Did you not hear me, woman?

Milk. Before the tea! It's madness!

Carts and horses.

I will k*ll all

of them for you. Where are they?

That might be

a bit of an inordinate response.

Oh, Janet.

Oh, f*ck's sake.

Janet, Janet, Janet.

The school called me!

I'm still down as one

of his emergency contacts so

We have discussed boundaries

time and again.

All right, I'm going. I'm going.

I don't want you to

And you're not helping.

She's not your mother, mate.

She looked after me

since I were two!

Times change, big man! Eh?

What?

Janet, speaking as a Christian man,

I'd rather not involve the courts.

But, speaking as a Christian man, I

should probably involve the courts.

All right. OK.

It's all right. It's all right.

I love you.

Maybe we should have

said something.

Not now. I will.

I promise.

Who eats them, right?

You look amazing, by the way.

Oh. Ta very much.

I took the liberty of looking

up your number in the hospital file.

I'm not sure you're supposed to

do that, are you?

No.

Probably not, no.

Samuel?

So haven't you said anything yet?

No.

Funnily enough, I've never done

a drug-deal via text before,

I wasn't sure of the protocol.

All right, all right,

keep your knickers on.

What did your client tell

Ex-client.

What did your ex-client tell

you about this Vinnie bloke?

That we should tread carefully.

What does that mean?

He's unpredictable.

Right, we, erm, we need a story.

We've got a story.

We were walking along,

we found a boatload of drugs

That's not going to work.

What, are you worried that

he's gonna rip us

off if he finds out we're nobodies?

Maybe.

Or maybe he decides

we're undercover coppers. sh*t.

What do you think he'd do to us

then? Don't answer that.

We just need to convince him

that we're serious players.

Which we're going to

do by telling him a story?

Absolutely.

There is nothing more powerful

than a good story.

Like a Boat Story.

We need to find a real outfit -

cartel, whatever -

that we can say we're connected to.

We're branching out into the UK.

Big enough to be serious.

But not so big that you know,

he might have links to someone.

Sinaloa Cartel? One of the biggest

cartels in the world.

But if they're the biggest in the

world, then isn't there a chance

that Vinnie might've met someone

from it?

You should do the talking.

Why? Cos you are a talker.

You used to lie for a living.

Well, you'll have to say something.

But I am a local. If he's a local

You're afraid you might

know each other.

We don't all know each other,

you patronising b*stard.

Try an accent. I don't want to.

You might have to.

Come on,

are there any accents you can do?

Ah, well, I suppose

I've been doing this Russian spy

character for Alan

since he were four,

I've got quite good

No, no, Russian drug dealer feels

a bit on the nose, doesn't it?

Do you think

I look like a drug dealer?

Well, you You don't NO

look like a drug dealer.

Yeah, I know, but it's like you said,

we've got to think of everything.

Like, should I get

some fake tattoos and stuff?

No, this isn't about the costume.

It's about confidence, you know?

Conviction in the story

we're telling.

Erm, Vinnie, hi,

we represent the Casitano Family

Nah. Don't believe it.

Why? Sounds made up.

Because it is. I know that.

So why you being so negative?

How about some more, "Yes, and"

This isn't a f*cking game!

You think I don't know that?

Urgh.

What's that, then?

Why are you showing me a p*nis?

Cos you asked.

It's that doctor from the hospital.

OK. Shall we, er?

Sorry

Just all I can see is d*ck.

What about this?

What? OK, er

Granted - they are known for

decapitating the people that

cross them Decapitating!?

But just bear with me.

They're an Albanian operation who

buy from South America

but who sell throughout

most of Europe.

But they're structured

differently from most cartels.

Cos they're so obsessed

with anonymity,

no one part of the operation knows

too much about the rest

Like a t*rror1st cell.

Or a relationship.

They're called the Kosovar Group.

Not too interesting-sounding.

It's very matter of fact.

What else does it say?

There's very little, y'know

Couple of arrests, but no-one's ever

turned on the higher-ups

because they just don't know

who they are.

OK. OK, then.

That's done.

What do?

What do you mean, it's done?

What? I just told you.

I texted Vinnie and told him that

we were with the Kosovar Group

and that we wanted to meet.

I didn't mean type it. f*ck!

That is the first vaguely

passable thing we said!

You agreed that it was

This is my f*cking phone and all

My phone's too old

What is What is wrong with you?

sh*t.

A time and a place.

So we're really doing this.

Right

Yeah.

Yeah. This is one of those moments

that people talk about -

you find out what

you're really made of.

Or it's one of those other moments

where you get your f*cking head

chopped off.

I feel sick.

Hello?

Hi, I'm outside.

All right, I'm coming now.

No!

Oh, for f*ck's sake.

sh*t!

f*ck!

Oh, f*ck! f*ck!

Open the f*cking door.

Look, listen to me.

I'm not supposed to k*ll you

but sh*t happens.

Open the door. Listen,

I mean this, or I'm gonna sh**t.

I'm gonna count down from three.

And I'm not joking.

Three, two

All right. All right.

..one!

Aargh. f*cking hell!

You said you'd count to three!

Nobody counts to three. Now move.

I've never been able

to just go to sleep

It's so much harder now

I'm in trouble so deep

My head is all swirling and

twirling with thoughts

Can I really be happy,

or will I get caught?

Insomnia, where are ya?

I found ya

Insomnia,

like an orphan in Bosnia

Insomnia

But maybe tonight

I just might

Close my eyes

Insomnia, where are ya?

I found ya

Insomnia ♪

Our thoughts are with the family

and friends of all those who have

been a victim of this

terrible crime It's just awful.

So much for God's own country.

Yeah, well, I suppose

even God has his off days.

Hello? Thought you might pick

up off a new number.

Need me to tell you who it is?

No, no, of course, it's er

How are you?

It's been four months.

Where's my bloody money?

Yeah, yeah. You said you were gonna

get it to me

Yeah, I am aware of the

current situation

Don't yeah, yeah, yeah me.

I need to get an answer

It's just some old work thing.

I thought we were friends.

I lent you that money because you

promised you'd pay me back

Yes. Yes.

Of course, and, erm, if you could

just be a little patient

Should I call Camilla?

Does she know what's

going on here?

She doesn't, does she?

I'm happy to call her.

No, absolutely no need for that.

One week. Really?

A week? I promise.

Please. Just

OK, I've got something coming up,

it's big.

I'll be able to

pay off all my debts.

Do I need to remind you

what the consequences are if you

don't come up with the money?

Yeah, it's going to be great. So

exciting. OK, bye, mate! Samuel

Hey, who's for breakfast?

The most important meal of the day.

Come on.

I'm sorry about your brother.

Seeing your own flesh

and blood become flesh

and blood before your eyes -

yikes.

But sometimes violence speaks much

louder than words, no?

It tells you who I am.

I'm the man responsible for everyone

who died in

Applebury Police Station.

The man who had your brother

ex*cuted before your eyes.

But, really, I'm just a dog

looking for his bone.

Have you seen my bone?

Look, I don't know how,

but my boyfriend, he, er,

he heard about a boat,

a boat that were coming in

and he were going to take

whatever were on board.

But that is all he told me.

Next thing I know, he's dead

and then you're calling me

telling me you're coming for me

and I say to you

I was there for that.

Yeah. Yeah. Sorry.

You were there for that.

It's just I'm

I'm very nervous, you know?

I'm very, very nervous.

Uh, the woman who found the boat,

she were called Pat Tooh.

She called it in,

she must have seen something.

That's what the detective told me.

Pat Tooh.

What did she see?

Look. I don't know!

I could

I could try and get the report

for you.

You know, I'm not, I'm not on the

investigation but I could try.

Or, I could speak to her.

They said she lives on, er, f*ck

Hendon Road, above a shop.

But that is all I know.

I swear.

There was another

shipment before this one.

Two police officers.

No, that wasn't my boyfriend.

I've got nothing to

Wait Please!

Please, you've got to believe me.

Look, I never

Please.

What are you on about?

Please. I didn't take anything.

I swear.

Now, some people might say

The Tailor enjoyed his job,

but he would tell a different story.

It was like any job.

And he just did it to the

best of his ability.

Burn the f*ck.

OK, sometimes

he enjoyed it a bit.

Morning.

You OK?

Couldn't sleep last night.

Isn't that what got us

into this mess in the first place?

I just keep thinking about the

sh**ting at the police station.

You can't still think this has

anything to do with that.

How could it not?

A boat washes up, and

then there's a f*cking m*ssacre

all here in Applebury,

where nothing ever happens.

There's nothing in the news

about any drugs.

Right, so let's

Come on, let's just

get on with it, shall we?

It's all I could find.

Try not to look so anxious.

There's no-one here. Well,

there's no-one watching anyway.

People could be dead cos of us.

Do you think people who, er,

sell cheeseburgers to fat

kids worry about that?

I mean

..people will do these drugs

with or without us.

It's just human nature.

That's not what I mean.

OK. Say we had handed all this in,

if those gunmen were looking for it,

they'd still have shot up that

police station to find it.

Everything's going to be all right.

Based on what exactly?

You don't know it'll be all right.

You just hope it will.

No, I believe it will.

There's a word for people like you.

Yes. Optimist.

No, fantasists.

All right, I get it,

shall we just, you know? Yeah.

Next one.

How old's your son?

Where did that question come from?

I'm just making conversation.

I'm married to Camilla,

well above my station.

Got a daughter called Anya, 16

You don't f*cking stop talking,

do you?

Oh, wait.

Night.

What? What is it?

Why are you being

I see it, you know? See what?

I'm not stupid.

Every time we do anything

with the stuff,

every time we move it,

touch the locks or the door -

you put your gloves on.

You made me pay on my card,

you texted Vinnie from my phone

For Christ's sake.

Oh, yeah, stop it.

I can hear your lies already.

You're being paranoid.

You asked the other day

if I trust you.

I don't.

Wha-

Go on, then!

Bye.

This is the biggest Major Incident

team ever assembled in this country.

We've already allocated every

resource available

but we will push for more,

of course.

Is there any imminent

risk to the public?

This appears to have been

an isolated event.

The men targeted this station

Bollocks.

Oh

What are you doing round here?

Just cleaning up some

rubbish for the boss.

Nothing interesting.

Janet? You've got me all wrong.

Excuse me?

My lock. The code is 7327.

Come on. Don't be so No.

My life is one big Groundhog Day of

waking up under a f*cking lawnmower

and being torn to sh*t, and this is

only making things worse.

So I'm out. Keep it. Do what you

want. Just leave me out of it.

Madame Bethune?

Remember that name.

I beg your pardon?

Forgive me.

You look so familiar.

Are you all right, love?

I apologise.

Yes. You are Pat Tooh.

I believe you found a boat washed

up on the shore the other day?

Yes, why?

One of the poor

souls there was my son.

Oh Oh, I am so sorry.

Come on in. Come in, love.

Thank you.

Have a seat.

Can I get you some tea?

Some vino?

No. Thank you.

I can't imagine how

you must be feeling.

We did not know each other

that well.

Oh.

Still. My son, you know?

Of course.

I'm not sure how

I can really help.

I need to know everything.

The police, they said you saw

someone near the boat.

But they would say no more.

I made banana bread.

OK.

Would you like some?

No. Thank you.

It's f*cking delicious.

OK.

What is it you want with me,

Mr erm?

Ah

..Taylor.

You looking to take

the law into your own hands?

What would you say if I was?

I would think that was quite

..refreshing.

Yes. Yes, it is.

Like a cold drink on a warm day!

How is it?

As, erm, advertised.

Told you.

I didn't see much, I'm afraid.

Before I saw the boat,

I saw someone on the beach.

Long way off.

But I do remember

they were carrying a dog.

A little white dog.

Pomeranian, I think.

And that's all she wrote.

I appreciate your time.

And the bread.

What was your boy called?

Alan?

Are you all right?

Is this about school? Did you tell

those b*stards what happened?

No.

Gosh

I feel a bit silly now I'm here

cos there's nothing you can do,

is there?

There's nothing either of us

can do

Alan, just go on, tell me.

Tell me.

Dad's got a job

in Australia.

That's why they were being weird.

That's why I called you

a few nights ago.

You're

You're moving?

Adelaide, to be exact.

They want him

by the end of the month. f*ck.

Sorry. No, no. Sorry.

Those were my thoughts also.

When?

End of End of t'month.

Right. Yeah, you said. It's just

f*ck.

Sorry. Sorry.

Hey. Long-distance can work.

If you say so.

I'll really miss you, Mum.

Well, we're not f*cking done

yet, are we? Sorry.

Sorry.

Hey?

Vinnie?

Vinnie, I'm Lucas,

I'm with the Kosovar Group.

As I said on the phone.

I assume you've looked us

up and tr

Don't mean to be rude, buddy,

gotta take precautions, yeah?

Just this piece of sh*t.

Travelling light, is it?

Well, a man in my job can't

take any risks.

Now obviously I don't have the stuff

on me but if

Shut the f*ck up!

Hey, Vin, found this in his car.

Hidden underneath t'seat.

Oh, right mastermind, ain't ya?

What, you just assumed

we were f*ck' stupid?

I've come to do business.

I have a lot of product.

If you want to buy it, fine.

If not

Lucas, was it? Yes. Yeah.

Tell me, Lucas from the

Kosovar Group, what you doing with

a business card belonging to

a lawyer called Samuel Wells?

And a driving licence and all.

Well, I mean, I assume you know

the need for a cover

It keeps talking.

Why's it talking?

All right. OK.

My mum was a liar.

I f*cking hate liars!

I'm not lying! That's a cover

identity, that's all.

You can stay here

while I make some calls.

Don't bother worrying about

all that

sneaking-out-trying-not-to-wake-me

bollocks.

I'm a big girl.

I'm not one of them types.

You can come

and go as you like, love.

What was it that you said in French

when you were about to leave?

It's a song by Salvatore Adamo.

I heard it on the radio

on a very important day of my life.

And, er

Do you still have

more of the banana bread?

We finished the lot, love, remember,

when you ravished me

on the ottoman?

Oh, yes. Oh, yes, I remember.

But if you're hungry,

I own the shop downstairs.

Rodney'll still be there, should be.

Tell him I told you

you can have a free pasty.

Pastry?

Pasty. Oh pasty?

Yes. I know of these.

You own a pastry shop? Aye.

It was very nice meeting you,

Patricia.

Just Pat.

It was very nice meeting you, too,

love.

This were a bit different,

getting a bit of French up in me.

Forgive me.

Hiya, Mummy!

I thought you were out tonight.

No, Warhammer's tomorrow night,

so, er

Oh, bloody 'ell.

Yes, your mother has needs.

Shock horror.

You just be glad you didn't

walk in ten minutes ago.

Yeah?

We are looking for a Pomeranian.

What's that, like, an Italian fella?

It's a dog.

Oh.

Somebody was walking

their Pomeranian on that beach.

People are creatures of habit,

they walk their dogs on the same

place, no?

So, when they return,

somebody will be there.

Yep. Understood.

Meanwhile, Vinnie was

asking around about Lucas

from Kosovar.

Whatever you're thinking of

doing, I would think again.

You've looked up the Kosovar

Group. You know that

No-one I've spoken to

knows who the f*ck you are.

Why would they know?

You think this is funny, do ya?

You're a funny f*ck, are ya?

I'm gonna give you a smile

..that goes all the way around!

Let him go.

Who the f*ck are you?!

He works for me.

What do you want?

Oh

..it's this one.

Samuel here lied about his name.

He's a lawyer.

He was a lawyer.

Everyone in this business

lies about their names

and everyone needs a lawyer.

He is mine. Come. Come.

You. Excuse me. This.

Wallet now!

You think a business card

is proof of anything?

Then you are amateurs.

And I do not work with amateurs.

So that's it, then, is it?

Business does not start like this.

No. No, no, no, not for Kosovar.

No.

Where are you going, Vin

Calling Katia,

she'll know what to do.

He's calling someone.

Just keep bloody walking.

That was brilliant, thank you.

Where'd you get the business card

from? I made it.

And the tattoo is a nice touch

Just shut up and drive, will ya?

Wait, wait!

Don't go!

Oh, f*ck, run him over.

Run him over.

I can't run him over.

Don't open it.

Don't open it.

Please don't open it.

I'm sorry, all right?

I've never done a deal

this big before.

Do you believe in fate?

Absolutely.

Me too.

And that's what this is -

fate - us meeting.

So let's start again.

I'll name the time and place,

you bring the product.

Please.

OK, very well.

What the f*ck?

All the world's a stage.

We are merely players.

And sometimes the players get away

with all kinds of things.

Because once you realise

it's all a show,

nothing's ever quite the same.

Tell him they have over

stretched themselves

Where are you going?

I'll just wait outside.

Stay for this bit, at least.

You're gonna love this bit.

That's how it felt when I was

talking to her that day.

Because I had pushed things too far.

It would have k*lled her

if she had known this whole time

that I was lying!

That I wasn't just out on the beach

that morning walking the dog.

That I knew that

boat would be there.

I had planned it.

That everything out of

my wretched mouth

..was a lie.

Sometimes we lie

Sometimes we break a heart

Sometimes we hurt one another

When we make a brand-new start

Sometimes we have to believe

That all the things we achieve

Can fall away like grains of dust

through a sieve

I'm not a good man

I'm not a bad man

I'm not a mad man

I'm just a man man