01x04 - Pitching Tent

[bunniefuu]

- See you out there.

- Bruh, this bird got
a big old a*s, dog.

God be dropping new animals
like they mixtapes.

- Oh, you're talking
about flying birds.

- Yeah.
- Oh, okay. Oh, g*dd*mn.

- Right?
- Ooh!

Body like Beyoncé,
face like Iago.

- Hey, yo, whose plantation
would you work for

if sl*very got poppin' again?

- I'd sl*ve for those two
dread-headed twins

on "Matrix Reloaded."

Oh, it can go underwater, too?
That's sick!

- So you want
two sl*ve masters?

- I'm a whole lot of n*gga,
bro.

Whole lot.
- Mm-hmm.

- Whew.

What a day, what a day it is.
That's what I'm talkin' about.

Ha-ah.

Whew.

Whoo!

Boy, I am tired.

- From what?

- f*cking all these
homeless women.

- n*gga, what?
This turtle got a horn!

A horn!

- Homeless women?

Like, plural?

- No, no.

First of all, they're unhoused,

and second,
you can't do that, Chris.

You can't f*ck someone
and be the only person

who gets to shower after.

- Oh. Uh-uh-uh.

They caught a shower, okay?
You know what I'm sayin'?

- It's not funny.
Don't high-five him for that.

Listen, they're victims,
with their cans of beans

and their stories
of the railroad

and their harmonicas
that howl into the night.

I mean, come on, Chris.
It's abuse.

When they look at you,
they see a ham.

- Hey, listen here,
khaki onesie,

you have no idea
what I'm talking about.

I am a connoisseur of b*tches.

A sommelier of snatch,
if you will.

- Mm, mm-mm.
Don't start rhyming.

Just tell us
why you're doing this.

- Mm-hmm.
- I've been f*cking b*tches

a long time--
all kind of b*tches.

Goth b*tches, equestrian hoes,

administrative shorties
that pretend to know Excel,

but they do not.

- She was nice.

- But homeless women
were the last on my list,

and let me tell y'all,

that sh*t yanking
on a whole new level. Mmm!

- So you just out here
being nasty for real.

- There it is.

- Homeless women are
dope as hell, man.

They got mad game,
always telling me

how clean I smell

and how full I look.

- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I--I have to understand this.

Are you telling me you've been
having sex with these women

in our apartment,
where I watch "Bones"?

- Nah, fam. Come on, man.

I go where they at.

And the city moves 'em around
all the time,

so I gotta find 'em,
like an Easter egg hunt.

- Or Pokémon Go.
Remember that?

- You know what? They grown.

b*tches gonna f*ck
who they wanna f*ck.

- Okay. Don't join in on this.

- And sometimes, Langston,
we don't even f*ck.

- Damn.
- We be chilling.

sh**ting firecrackers,

making trap beats on buckets.

playing LEGOs,
but we don't got LEGOs,

we got rocks that happen
to fit as puzzle pieces.

- That sounds fun.
- That's g*ng, for real.

- g*ng or not,
it's exploitation.

You can't just come down there

tossin' p*nis
and suckin' salad.

- Hold up, dog, are you saying
just 'cause they're homeless,

they don't deserve
a clean set of ba*ls?

So if you saw a homeless person
eating sushi,

you would slap it
out their hand,

'cause it's not Spam?

That is f*cked up.
- That's not--

- Yeah, man.
It sounds like

it's real dope
to hang out with somebody

that doesn't know
all four digits

of they Social Security number.

- What?
- Your Social Security number.

You know, 9519--sh*t,
I've been compromised!

Ahh!
- I'm not dealing with that.

Anyways, men f*ck broke b*tches
all the time.

How is what Chris doing
any different?

- That's exactly right,
Dr. Sam.

How is that any different, huh?
I was broke.

I was throwing d*ck
in exchange for asylum.

Now, why can't these ladies
suck on me for survival, n*gga?

- Because they need money
and food for survival,

not a n*gga who stands on his
tippy-toes in his pictures.

- If a b*tch tall,
what you gonna do?

- Mm, well, people want
what they want, dude.

Like, do you think
Toni Braxton knew

she was gonna end up
with Birdman

when she sang
"Unbreak my Heart"?

- Yeah, Langston.
Love is love.

Toni kissed Birdman.

Birdman kissed Wayne.

Wayne did a kickflip. Yah!
- Mm-hmm.

- Yeah.
Shut the f*ck up, Langston.

Got his a*s.
- Whoa, chill out.

Hey, shut the f*ck up.

Okay, hey, hey,
I'll shut the f*ck up,

because love is love.

So that means
that a 50-year-old man

can "love"
a 14-year-old girl, then.

- Dude!

- Oh, no, n*gga.
- Bro, don't do that.

- n*gga, you're nasty.

- Why is that analogy
not as strong?

- Get it together, L. Kelly.

- Don't call me L. Kelly!

That's a nasty rumor
to spread about me.

- Uh-uh, uh-uh, nasty n*gg*s
can't come with us.

- But I'm not a nasty n*gga!

I'm a hero in this story!

- Gonna hit this bar
real quick,

you know what I'm saying?
- Wait. Stop leaving me.

- Come on, let me get you
a little straw.

- Bro, at the end of the day,

we all f*cked up
and ended up here.

Chris' prized possession
is his mall cart jewelry.

If someone wants to f*ck him,
it's a W.

What's up, dog?
- Hey, what's up?

- Yeah, but first of all,
f*cked up?

Oh, no. Not me.
You sound stupid.

I'm gonna be the boss
around here someday.

- No, you not.
- The boss?

You haven't even been
employee of the month,

and we've been here,
like, a million months.

You try, and we don't,
and we get paid the same.

Seems like
you f*cking up the most.

- Since when did
professionalism

become a bad thing?

I just haven't spread
my wings yet, you know?

- What up, dog?
- Yes, you have, my n*gga.

You just a f*cking penguin.

- Or an emu. Or an ostrich.

I learned today.

- You think the world
is suddenly

gonna recognize our potential?
- What's up, bro?

- We're all gonna end up
on the street

listening to Chris smash
our sidewalk neighbors,

if we don't learn
how to play the game.

That's why I listen
to Boone Jackson's podcast.

- Oh, my God.
- Boone Jackson?

- Mm-hmm.
- Who's Boone Jackson?

- He's this dude who's like
a Tony Robbins

for n*gg*s who put rims
on they Altimas.

- See, this is the sh*t
Boone warned me about.

He told me I gotta
reshape my life.

Keep you squares
out of my circle.

- I love Boone.
Boy, I went to one seminar.

That very next week,
I had a Lamborghini.

- Because he rented
a Lamborghini.

- Exactly.

Boone says, see something,
pay something.

I saw a Lamborghini.
Paid for it.

Had it for one day.

Still paying it off,
but the one day I had it?

Long and fast.

- I'm going to see him
tomorrow.

I watch all his IG Lives
and his videos at the Gas Pump.

I'm telling you, he pushes you
to be a go-getter.

I'ma send you a compilation
of his best sh*t.

He also does these videos

where he reviews
banana puddings.

- This is so weird.

I've never thought of you
as someone that needs

to get life advice
from anyone, really.

Like, you're a leader.
- Mm-hmm.

- You're our leader, for sure.

You're like the Doritos
to our Locos Tacos.

- You know, in Spanish,

it's actually the adjective
after the noun, so it's--

- n*gga, I know what I ate!

- Whew.
- You n*gg*s have fun

staying broke.

I'm about to start drinking,

so I can pass out
and wake up early.

I'm going to learn
from the master himself.

- Sam. Sam, Sam, Sam, Sam, Sam.
Can I come?

Can I come? Can I come?
Can I come? Can I come?

Can I come? Can I come?
Can I come?

Can I come? Can I come?

- Shut up. And fine.
- Yeah!

- I didn't really think
this was your thing,

'cause you eat candy
at 9:00 a.m.

If you promise
to sit the entire time,

I'll cop you a ticket.

- For real?
Can I bring my friend?

- You don't have any friends.

- Yeah, that's true.
That's true.

- Chris, why can't you
just f*ck a receptionist

or a sandwich artist,
like a regular n*gga?

- Man, you ain't never said
nothing about these people

till you found out
they make my p*nis happy.

- Hey, stop.

- You know, every time
they walk up to your car,

you roll up the windows
all fast,

lock the doors,
play Mariah Carey extra loud.

- Well, that's not true.

You know I'm a Mariah man.
Nick Cannon is a fool.

- Every man is a Mariah man,
and yes, Nick Cannon's foolish,

but you on your fake
woke liberal sh*t right now,

acting like you know
what these women want and need.

- They need a place to stay.

- Okay.
Well, then let 'em stay here.

Look at your f*cking face, man.

And you with all this
caped crusader hero talk

in my cereal time
got me f*cked up.

Got my f*cking marshmallows
all soggy.

The least you can do
is take me down there

and meet my hoes
away from home.

- Fine. You know what? Fine.

I will take you down there,

because I'm not afraid
of these people,

and unlike you, I can help them
without using my d*ck.

- Hey, hey, hey. Okay.

Brother, leave that attitude
at the door,

'cause they don't have those.

You understand me?

And don't wear nothing shiny.

No rings or nothing like that.

- Bro, I'm telling you,
you're not ready for this sh*t.

As soon as we finish
this seminar,

we all gonna be
in the winner's circle, man.

Fire, man.

- Even him?

- Yeah. Even that n*gga.

- Sick!

- But you need to get focused,
you know what I mean?

But, like, this sh*t is gonna-
oh, sh*t. Shh!

Here we go, man.

all: Hey, hey, hey, hey!

♪ ♪

- Mm.

Broke n*gg*s.

all: Boo!

- I--I feel some kind
of foreclosure energy

in this room.

I said broke n*gg*s!

all: Boo!

- Are you tired of manifesting

and ready
to start maniflexing?

all: Maniflex!

- Uh! Uh!
- Maniflex!

- Huh?
- Maniflex!

- What?
- Maniflex!

- What?
- Maniflex!

- Everybody's always
talking about

unlocking they potential.

all: Mm-hmm.

- That's why your a*s
is still what, huh?

Poor.
- That's right.

- You need some more money.
all: Mm-hmm.

- Some mo' connections.

all: Mm-hmm.

- And some more confidence.

- Yes!
- Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

- Indeed, man.

- I say f*ck potential.

Let's start unlocking
some mo-tential!

Huh!
- Preach!

- Look at your neighbor
and say,

"I ain't got potential.

I got mo-tential."

both: I ain't got potential!
I got mo-tential!

- Okay, okay, okay.

- Ooh!

You need to wake up
on Friday...

all: Mm-hmm.

- Look back at that man
you were on Monday.

- Yes.

- And be like, "Hey, yo,
f*ck that n*gga."

He's a b*tch.
- Uh-huh!

- Can't nobody stop you,
except you.

- Welcome to the Booniverse,
baby boy.

- I get it.
He's like a business magician.

Boone!
Saw my taxes in half.

- I got you, bruh!

all: Hey! Hey!
Hey! Hey!

- Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

♪ ♪

- Cuckoo-cuckoo!
Ay-ay-ay-ay!

Hello, my concrete cutie pies.
Look at you.

- Hey, Chris!
- Hey, girl.

I see you got some new shoes.
One lace.

Look at you with that new box
and little buckets.

Hey, what's up, player?
How you feeling, man?

New cart? That's looking nice.

- Ooh! Oof.

- Keep squealing like that,

and you're gonna end up
with the yellers,

on the other side
of the underpass.

- Cheryl?
- Now, is that any way

to greet someone in their home?

n*gga, get your shoes
off my good carpet.

- Oh, yeah, um--

- Boy, I'm just playing.
We outside.

Come on. Give me a hug.
- Okay.

Hey, Cheryl.

What--I'm sorry, you are just--

God, you were my boss
at the casino.

How did you end up--

- Go ahead. You can say it.

- I'm searching
for the right word.

I feel like it's, like,
"chronically outdoors."

- Houseless. Homeless.

Unhoused. Displaced.

Residentially-challenged.
- I heard that before.

- Financial palsy.
- That's new.

- They spend more time coming
up with words for this sh*t

than there are places
for me to live.

- I don't know, Cheryl.

You were just the most
successful person at our job.

You know what I mean?
They let you sign

that piece of paper
in the elevator inspection.

I don't understand.

- Oh, there's not much
to understand.

I injured my leg

and was out too many days,
and they let me go.

One thing led to another,
and, well...

- Damn.
That's really shitty, Cheryl.

- Yeah. We're all just
one torn ACL away

from sh1tting on the sidewalk.

Trust me, that job does not
give a f*ck about you.

You gotta be ready
for anything.

- Okay, but I have
a five-year plan, right?

That's gotta keep me afloat.

- By the time
you start getting ready

for the drought,
you're already in the desert

drinking your pee.

Drinking your pee.

You're already in the desert
drinking your pee.

- You're just
a f*cking penguin.

Keep you squares
out of my circle.

And we get paid the same.

- Drinking your pee.

Drinking your pee.

♪ ♪

- Come on, anything you can do
to help me out.

- Ooh-ooh!

I got you, playboy.
No problem!

- Ooh, look like
somebody hit the lottery.

- Look what I found!
Hold out your hands.

- What the f*ck?
- Ooh-ooh!

You gonna have a big breakfast.

Oh, I sucked all the dust
off them shits.

- What the f*ck?

- Feliz Navidad,
broke-a*s n*gga.

- f*ck, man. Come on, man!

- Whoo-ooh-ooh!

Oh, I forgot, playboy.
I got some mo'.

- Oh, sh*t!

- You found Cheryl.

Yeah, she's like
the unhoused madam around here.

Gets 'em all pretty
and whatnot.

- What the f*ck did I
just smoke, Cheryl?

- Don't worry, baby.
That's just menthol.

It's the poor man's DMT.

- Ooh, I hope DMT stands
for "d*ck Mouth Tonight"

with special guest
Chris Henson.

- Okay. Not now.

I'm trying to help
your little friend.

- f*ck!

f*ck, Sam was right.

If my job can't help me
and school can't help me

and my friends can't help me,

my only solution
is to just take my L.

But if I'm gonna hit
rock bottom, I'ma make sure

there's a nice pillow
and some sheets on that rock.

- Oh, you need rocks?
I can take you to rocks.

Come on, I'll take you

to the nicest cardboard duvet
on the block.

- Cool.

- Success is about balance.

And balance--huh? Huh? Huh?

Is about success.

Watch this.

- Ooh!

- Shh, bro.
This isn't a game.

- This man is incredible.
Look at him.

He's up there with a f*cking
sleeveless turtleneck

standing like a n*gga flamingo.

This is awesome!

- Look at this lost soul.

I don't care if he got

more degrees
than a thermometer.

Ain't a single bad b*tch
on Earth

gonna f*ck
with a n*gga out here

lookin' like
a bottle of Fabuloso.

- Stop.

- Stand up.

Give it to me.

Give it to me.

- All right. All right.

- You can sit down.

I taught y'all
better than this!

This ain't a maniflex chain.

You're supposed to turn
your pockets green,

not your neck.

n*gga coughing.

- Now, I'm so sorry,

but you've been possessed
by a broke demon,

and y'all know what that means.

all: Flexorcism! Flexorcism!

- Oh, sh*t.
He's about to do a flexorcism.

Don't look away.
all: Flexorcism! Flexorcism!

- My brother,
do you want this chain?

- Yes. I--
all: Boo!

- Man, it was a gift!

- n*gga, it was a curse
from a broke demon.

Whoever gave you
that fufu chain hates your guts

and wants to see your downfall.

Now, do you still want
this chain?

- Yeah. I do--
- Slap him, Boone!

- Nah.

- But in life,
if you want it...

n*gga, go get it!

all: n*gga, go get it!
- n*gga, go get it!

Oh, my God, I didn't know
it was gonna be a silly thing.

I would have worn
my silly shirt.

It's CatDog
going front to back.

- Dude, you gotta
take it easy, okay?

Boone isn't being funny.

He's spitting facts
that could change your life.

This is serious. Be respectful.
- Okay.

- Maniflexation is about
waking up every morning

and saying to yourself,
you're gonna go get it.

You gotta scream
into the Booniverse!

Now, join me as we speak
in rich n*gga tongues.

Big coin. Big check. Big lake.

- Sid from the internet.

The net. Money.

- Yellow Starburst.
Red Starburst.

Num, num, num,
taste oh-so-good in my mouth.

- Money.
- I like sherbet.

Sherbet ice cream.
Oreo milkshake.

Oreo milkshake. Hat. Bite.

- Sit down!
- Bite. Bite hat.

- ♪ Putting a knot in my cans ♪

♪ Making decorations
from Spam ♪

- f*ck you doing, newbie?

- Oh, I am just trying
to get cozy, really.

You know what I mean?
Like, I figured

I'd be here any day now,

so just really wanted
to give myself a dope setup.

- Hey, is that
the Dracaena Janet Craig

that was in
that Mexican lady's yard?

- That's the one.
- I was gonna take that!

But then I thought, well,

they ain't do too well
in direct sunlight, you know?

- Hmm, see, that's why I got
that tarp, you know?

Gives you great coverage
during peak sun.

- Right.
- Yep.

I actually have some clippings
propagating in a shoebox,

if you want to grow your own.
- Oh, that's cool of you, man.

- Hey, I'll take one.
- Okay.

- Hey, I'll even trade you
my pet crawfish for it.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Look at that.
They do tricks.

Sit. Sit! Sit, Lucy.

Sit! She's a diva.

- Hey. Hey, y'all.
- Diva now.

- Hey, y'all,
your boy gonna be over there

by the hollowed-out TV
if anybody wanna get

they cheeks clapped, you know?

- Move, boy.
Get out the way.

- See, you poke a hole,

and then you get a shoestring--
- Uh-oh. Oh.

What's happening to me?

Oh, is that Omarion
or a n*gga better than him?

Hey, hey.

- The aesthetic
I was going for.

- Is this side table
mid-century?

- Ooh, it is not.
It is this century, and it is

just a piece of driftwood
with some tires underneath it.

- Oh, yeah.

- But you could put
your 7-Eleven cup

right on that bad boy.

No coaster, you know?
Go ahead. Raw dog it.

- Oh, come on, papi.

I'm gonna respect your place.
- Ooh-hoo-hoo!

Okay! Classy.
May I partake?

- Yeah. Go ahead.

It's pee, but go ahead.
- Mm.

- Yo, I'ma need you
to come over to my spot

and put some spice on it.

I've been meaning
to switch up the layout,

but I ain't got
that q*eer eye, you know?

- Let me tell you this.

I'll flip your tent
like a strong breeze.

- Aw, man.

Come on, player!

- Come on, y'all.
I got some Sacagawea, man.

Some loose beans.

Some Sacag--do me a little--
just loose beans

and change mixed together.

- The key advantage
to tax-deferred growth

is that you won't pay taxes
on your untaxed earning

or your contributions
until you're required

to start taking
distributions, huh, huh?

- Damn. I missed it.

Is he talking
about a Roth or a SEP?

- Dog, he had it
in the first half.

Now he's just up there bombing.

- Shut up, Jak.

- People here are drawing, man.

This is so bad.

- They're not drawing.
They're taking notes.

What do you think
they spent the $140 for?

- $140?

Who this n*gga think he is,
Kathy Griffin?

People paid that much
to see this?

- Dude, you need to--
- What?

- You need to stop, okay?
You're doing too much.

- I don't know.

I think I'm doing
the correct amount.

This n*gga Boone is charging
people 140 g*dd*mn dollars--

- Now, see,

here's a brother, okay,

that's hating on education,

because he's possessed
by poverty

and won't shut the f*ck up
while I'm doing my thing.

- I'm not poor, I'm broke,

just like
every other person here,

because you stole $140
from all of us.

all: What?
- Yeah, yeah.

My friend invited me
to this show,

and I didn't know it was
gonna be this g*dd*mn much.

You owe us all our money back,
especially her.

You owe us $500!

Listen, you fresh b*tch,

people come to this conference
to create a future.

Now, why do you have
a problem with that?

- Uh, because
it's corny as hell.

Why don't you just give
everybody their money back,

so they can spend it
on something better,

like honey buns
or playing kickball,

instead of making us
look at this--

I don't know--f*cking Pac-Man.

- n*gga, that's a pie chart.

- It ain't better
than honey buns!

Who want to play kickball?
Hat. Hat.

Little Mr. T. hair. Come on.
Old man that's all in brown.

- Sit down!
- This is the problem

with the modern Black man.

They can't even begin
to stay ten toes down

because they grown-a*s babies
who haven't even learned

to stand on they own two feet.

You're not ready to maniflex.

You probably still sleeping on
your mama's couch, aren't you?

- Yeah, sometimes I do,

and sometimes I sleep
under a tree,

and a pinecone hits me
in the head, and I wake up.

Boop. And sometimes,
I sleep in people's cars,

in the valet lot.

And sometimes,
I sleep in the shower,

like a rainforest critter!

- Stop it! Stop!
- Don't! Stop.

Dang, you strong!

- Mr. Boone, I am so sorry.

I thought he was ready
to be in public spaces,

but I was very mistaken.

- All right, all right.
- Please.

Throw my chain as sacrifice.

- What?

Now you go get it, n*gga.

I thought
Boone was the strongest!

Who's my leader now, y'all?

- Now you got
a n*gga f*cked up.

I'm Boone.

I throw chains
and I throw these hands.

I'm successful.
I know people.

I make one phone call
to get you f*cked.

I got booty n*gg*s ready to go.
I got booty n*gg*s ready to go.

- Well, tell them n*gg*s,

come get these cheeks
at the park,

because we playing kickball!

And you better stop
teaching all this dumb stuff.

No one knows
what Philando literacy is.

- n*gga, it's
"financial literacy."

You been here the whole time!
- f*ck you!

- f*ck you!
- Kickball!

7:00!
- I can't believe you, man.

- Nobody wear cleats.
- Sorry about that.

- That's cheating!

- I guess I never knew

you could have half-ply
toilet paper, though, you know?

- b*stard.

You were supposed to be
my bang bro.

- Christopher, are you drunk?

- Yes I am, Langstopher.

- Okay, three hours ago,
I was spiraling on menthol,

but it turns out
this is the first thing

I'm actually good at.

- Oh, I don't give a d-d-damn,
Nate Berkus.

You're f*cking
my situation up, man.

All right,
you're showing 'em a rug,

and then next, they got Wi-Fi.

Then they getting mail.
Then they got a house.

Then the coochie staler
than a open bag of chips.

- Okay, Chris,

you're getting a bit--
- All right, y'all.

Time to break it up.

- Oh, sh*t!

- You gotta move east
or hit a shelter.

- Hey, Jarvis.
Get a load of this.

They're over here
making egalitarian sh*t.

- Oh, no, Adam.
This is lavender, see?

- Hey! you can't do that to us!

- You're right.

Bodycams off.

- What? Can't you see I was
trying to build something nice

for these people?

Instead of bullying us,

why don't you bully the people
who put us here, huh?

Like the casino
or the steel industry

or the fat cats
down in Washington.

Today, we have had enough,
and like Dikembe Mutombo says,

"No, no, no!

We're not gonna take it!"

Who's with me?

- Yo, man. Chill.

Chill, my brother.

You gonna f*ck it up
for all of us.

- Excuse me?
- Just chill.

- We got a good rhythm
going on around here.

We sleep
where we ain't supposed to,

then they show up,
and we leave.

Nobody gets hit,
nobody goes to jail,

and we'll be back next month

when they move us from Smokey's
on the East Side.

If you keep doing
all this Kwame Ture sh*t,

somebody's gonna get hurt.

- I don't care what you said.

I don't care that they don't
believe in themselves,

because I believe in me.

I'm not a penguin.
I'm a bird that can fly.

Fly high in the sky,
like a peacock, and no--

- I'm gonna use this flashlight

to break every tooth
in your head.

- Okay, well, you could have
said that the first time.

Run, Cheryl!

- Let's move, guys!

- I couldn't even be homeless,
and I have a home.

I mean, how do y'all
deal with this?

- You know, some people see us
out there trying to get fed

and have a nice day,
and they think,

"Hell, nah.
Hell to the f*ck nah."

They say there's a program.
The program a*s.

Now you back at square one.
It's a constant cycle.

That's why we like Chris,
because at the end of the day,

he's just a big dummy
we can run through, you know?

Sure, we need food and beds
and all that other stuff,

but we need thots too.

Chris doesn't see us
as homeless.

He sees us as sex objects.

- Ah, ah, ah, correction.
I value you as sex objects.

Who's the hero now, n*gga?

- Yeah, but okay,
what if I have kids someday,

and I can't give 'em
the safety net

to survive this sh*t

because I'm too busy
out on the streets,

getting bounced around
by cops and thots?

- Come on, man.

You are not gonna be homeless,
all right, ever.

And even if you were,
you know people.

Cool people who wouldn't just
come down to your tent

to f*ck on you.

They'd bring you, like,
Bluetooth speakers

and sandwich meat

and whatever khakis
you like to wear.

- Really?
- Yes, man.

Quit being so scared
about your future.

You need to be worried about
your present life, right now,

'cause you ain't got
no girlfriend.

Your diet is bad.

You walk around like you trying
to sneak out your mama house.

Every time you walk upstairs,
you, "Yep. Yep. Yep."

And I don't even know
what that is called.

You wash all your clothes
with the towels.

- Oh, yeah, and if I'm being
completely honest,

your design taste
is a little pedestrian.

- Pedestrian?
Ma'am, you sleep outside.

- Oh, okay, so just because
I'm homeless,

I can't have an aesthetic?

You are very pretentious,
Hermit Miller.

She called you a crab
with a last name.

- Stupid raccoon b*tch.
I'll k*ll you.

- Yes!

- And she was like,

"Boone, take my chain
as sacrifice."

She needs him, dog.
It's so funny.

She'll be riding
Boone's d*ck like--

- Shut up. I don't need Boone.

It's just nice to be motivated
by a outside source.

Sometimes, you gotta see it
in someone else

so you can see it in yourself.

- Yeah. Like the dougie.
- Sure.

Boone puts confident language
in my head

and a battery in my back.

If you don't have that
as a Black person in America,

you gonna lose it eventually.

It's crazy for us.

- I guess, bro, but, you know,

he did say he was gonna get me
f*cked by some booty men.

- I'm sorry. What?
- Yeah, so go crazy.

- Cheers to that.

- Hey, to booty men.
- Cheers.

- Ohh!
- That's what

I'm talking about, Cheryl!
- Go crazy!

- Damn!

- Go! Go, girl!
- Go win some!

Oh, my God, look!
- Look at that.

- n*gga, is that my chain?

- Yeah! Go, Cheryl!
- Yeah!

♪ ♪