01x04 - How We Got Crushed

[bunniefuu]

[Electric Bloom

"The One" playing]

Hey g*ng, time for another

Ask Us Anything.

Oh, here's a juicy question.

"Your song 'The One'

is my favorite song ever." Aw.

"But everyone on the Internet

wants to know who it's about.

An ex? A crush?

Can you finally just tell us

who 'The One' is?"

-Should we?

-I think it's time.

But we can't just flat out

tell you who the one is.

There's a whole story

behind the story,

and that story starts

with our first school musical.

But you got to understand,

the musical was a big event

at our school

and everyone

wanted to be part of it.

And it led to a lot of drama.

Which is the story

behind the story,

that's the story we're about

to tell you right now.

It was the day

before auditions.

Hey, Tulip, can I borrow this

to audition for the musical?

Oh, my gosh,

I am so excited to audition.

I've wanted to be

in a musical my whole life,

and I can't believe

my chance is finally here!

So can I borrow it?

The robe? No.

Okay. Respect.

Guys, I'm nervous

for auditions.

I mean, it's a legit musical.

Hazel Sloane: Boss girl

CEO Princess is huge.

I mean, it's won

a ton of awards.

How could it not?

It's got the perfect story.

A city girl who's the boss

of her own empire

While also secretly

being a princess

from a fantastical land.

It's my favorite show.

I saw it

when it was Off-Broadway,

then on Broadway,

then Off-Off-Broadway.

I've seen it

on all the Broadways.

On three, shout out

which part you want.

One, two three.

[all] Hazel Sloane: Boss girl

CEO Princess.

Yay! We all want

the same part.

Oh We all want

the same part.

You and me, you and I ♪

I've got your back,

And you've got mine ♪

We're in this forever ♪

Wherever we go,

we go together ♪

It's all for one ♪

It's you and me ♪

'Cause all we are

Is all we need ♪

We're in this forever ♪

Wherever we go,

we go together ♪

Okay, we all want

the same thing.

Is that so bad?

I once saw a bunch of pigeons

eating the same hamburger bun,

and they look thrilled.

I mean, it doesn't

have to be a big deal

-that we all want the same part.

-Totally.

Our friendship is way

more important than a musical.

Let's just agree

that even if one of us gets the lead,

it won't come between us, and we'll

support each other no matter what.

Look at us being mature

and evolved.

[ice cream truck

music playing]

[all] Ice cream truck!

[school bell rings]

Okay, everybody, welcome

to auditions

for Hazel Sloane: Boss girl

CEO Princess.

I'm Mr. B.

And I'm gonna

Mister "be your director."

Noice.

It's cool

you're doing this, Mr. B.

I didn't even know

you directed musicals.

Neither did I, but Principal

Jeffers has me leading

a whole bunch

of extra-curriculars

due to lack of school funding.

Let's go, Cross Country team,

pick up the pace!

We're on the deadline,

School Paper,

Pick up the pace!

Let's go, Slow Motion club,

Pick up the pace!

So, yeah.

I'm spread a little thin.

All right, audition time.

Pick up the pace!

[Posey, Tulip, Jade vocalize]

Auditions! ♪

I'll be doing a monologue

from Romeo and Juliet.

"O Romeo, Romeo,

wherefore art thou Romeo?"

Let's do some improv.

Hand me an item

and I'll make up a song

about it.

[Posey beatboxes]

I'm right over here,

Miss Juliet ♪

You don't need to sweat

as of yet ♪

I'm in your debt ♪

But don't forget,

and I mean this as no threat ♪

I saw what you wrote ♪

That other dude

on the Internet ♪

I added the rap part.

Vegetable oil,

sunflower oil ♪

Cotton seed oil,

oil, oil, oil ♪

That's a whole lotta oil ♪

[mouths] Wow.

Wind

[imitates whoosh]

Water

Coconuts?

I die now.

[upbeat music playing]

Ooh, I like that.

We just free-styling in here?

Check this out.

[audience whoops]

[audience cheers]

Kid on stage whose name

I don't know, nice work.

Lucas, that was one heck

of an audition.

Cool.

For what?

For the school musical.

Oh, dope.

You should totally do that.

You guys, Mr. B posted

the cast list.

-He did?

-Yeah. I got some role

as the Dancing Chef

slash Marine Biologist?

Lucas, that's the main guy.

Oh, cool.

Did you see what parts we got?

Yeah.

I got

the Boss Girl CEO Princess

I'm Hazel Sloane!

[Posey, Tulip]

You're Hazel Sloane!

Um, I'm playing

Elaine,

the Environmentally-Conscious Farm Girl.

She's sustainable

and she cares.

That's so me.

So you. Tulip?

I'm

a rock.

Oh, Tulip, I'm so--

I'm a rock!

That's the part I secretly

wanted all along.

Score!

Great, we all got parts

we're happy with.

I knew the play wouldn't get

in the way

-of our friendship.

-Nothing ever will.

Tules, you okay?

Oh yeah, just getting

into character.

Rock.

Rock.

Rock, rock

Hey, The Vince.

I'll have a pretzel.

Principal Jeffers,

I'm not just a student

at this school,

I'm a student of life.

What's your troubles?

Nah, it's nothing.

When I was a student here,

I dreamt of being

in a school musical.

But I was always too scared

to audition.

So I finally got up the nerve

to ask Mr. B

if he might find a role

for a certain

Michael B. Jordan

adjacent-type.

Oh, you're talking about you.

Obviously.

He said no.

Is that so?

-Mr. B?

-Vincent.

I'll allow it.

I hear Principal Jeffers

is interested

in a role on your show.

All roles have been cast.

I also hear Jeffers is looking

for a teacher to run yearbook.

You got a lot

of free time, right?

It's done.

You're the narrator.

Yes!

[Posey, Tulip, Jade vocalize]

Rehearsals! ♪

Welcome to our very

first rehearsal

of Hazel Sloane:

Boss Girl CEO Princess.

[students cheer]

Okay, it's a high school

production.

Everybody calm down.

All right, settle in, stretch,

we'll start the opening number

in 5.

Oh, Director Mr. B?

When I'm in character,

what should I do

with my hands?

Pretend I'm holding a mic

or just nonstop jazzy fingers?

Stop. You a grown man.

So, you got the part

of Hazel Sloane.

I heard it was between you

and Tammy Jacobs,

but I'm glad you got it

because I hear Tammy

eats her own hair.

Uh, cool.

Also, who are you?

I'm Janine, hair and make-up.

Also, some people say

I'm the school gossip,

but I'm not.

What have you heard?

-Uh

-Tell me everything.

JK, don't tell me anything.

I'll probably tell everyone.

No, I won't.

I probably will. Bye.

All right, people. Said five,

meant three. Let's rehearse!

Rehearsals started

off amazing.

But then something

unexpected happened,

more like someone unexpected.

Oh, you highlight

your lines too?

Yeah, I color code them

based on what emotion

my character is feeling.

I like to stay

[slowly] organized.

Oh, wait,

you have a tiger's eye too?

For good luck.

I totally believe

in the power of

[slowly] Crystals.

Uh-huh.

Hey, we packed the same thing.

-It's my go to.

-Mine, too.

Bread with peanut butter

and raisins

in the shape of a smiley face.

It's the ultimate

[slowly] Snacky snack.

[muffled scream]

Guys, I have something

to tell you!

-Me too!

-Me too too!

[all] I have a crush

on Lucas Jasper!

We all like the same guy?

[all] Yay!

[all] Oh

Okay, we all have a crush

on the same guy.

Not a big deal.

Not a big deal!

Except, it's totally

a big deal.

I know!

Maybe Lucas

is actually a triplet

and we each like

a different Lucas. I call the middle one!

Are we sure? Like sure-sure?

We all like him?

Like, like-like him?

My crush is legit.

I mean, I found out he carries

lucky crystals just like me.

And then he left

a jade crystal for me

in my locker.

And my name's Jade.

[Posey, Tulip] Aw, it is.

Well, not only do Lucas and I

love the same snacks,

but when I dropped

my last bite on the ground,

he picked it up and brushed off the dirt

so I could finish it.

Oh, that's so gross.

But I love it.

Well, listen to this,

since we both highlight our scripts,

Lucas said

he's gonna think of me

every time

he sees a highlighter

and then I said that that was

the highlight of my day,

and he got it after

I explained it. [giggles]

[all sigh]

-He's so great.

-The best.

I wish he was tiny enough

to keep in my pocket.

Focus. What are we gonna do?

I mean, we handled

the whole auditioning

for the same role thing

like mature adults.

I'm sure we could find a way

to do the same

-with having the same crush.

-Yes.

We should just all agree

that nobody

pursues Lucas Jasper.

Great idea. I'm on board.

Me too. Look at us. So mature.

[chuckles] Totally. Oh,

you got mustard on your shirt.

-[exclaims]

-[spits]

So we went to school

the next day with a solid plan

avoid Lucas Jasper,

which was a little tricky

because we were all in scenes

with Lucas Jasper.

Okay, dance scene

in the forest. Music and dance.

[whimsical music playing]

Okay.

Dear Farm Girl, I have

most important news.

Walk with me as I explain.

Sorry, can't talk now.

I've got an important farm,

phone, work call.

Hello, cows?

Okay.

Our Dancing Chef

slash Marine Biologist

needed a place to think.

So he sat on the rock.

He sat.

He sat.

Okay.

[sighs] We did it.

Yep. Lucas, who?

It's Jasper.

But we avoided him

'cause we're mature.

-Hey, guys.

-[girls scream]

Okay.

[Posey, Tulip, Jade vocalize]

Opening Night! ♪

These curls.

I'm obsessed.

What is your secret?

Uh, shampoo?

I want to be you

when I grow up.

I bet you're not even nervous

for tonight.

Actually,

I'm a little nervous,

but not for the reason

you think.

Tell me everything.

It's kinda silly.

It has nothing

to do with the play.

Well, it sort of does, but--

Come on, come on.

Before I graduate.

I have a crush on someone

in the play.

[yells]

I knew it, but I didn't.

But maybe I did.

Say less but say more.

Okay, I just don't know

if she likes me back.

Just don't tell anyone, okay?

Oh, of course not.

I would never.

I mean, I might, but I won't.

I won't tell anyone.

[mouths] I'm gonna

tell everyone.

You won't believe

what I just heard.

He was so nervous.

It was really adorable.

And he told me

the most wild news.

Lucas Jasper has a crush

on someone in the musical.

[all gasp]

[Older Jade] Yeah. Gasp.

[Older Posey] And with that

new nugget of info,

we may have read

a little too much

into some casual interactions

with Lucas.

Break a leg, Jade.

[sighs] Thanks, Lucas Jasper.

Have a good show, Posey.

You too, Lucas Jasper.

Sorry, my bad.

I love you too, Lucas Jasper.

[Older Tulip]

And at that moment,

it all became crystal clear.

[all] Lucas Jasper

has a crush on me!

-[Mr. B] Places, people.

-Thank you, places.

He says he's not sure

if she likes him back.

He just wishes

there was a way he could tell.

Right?

I know. I know.

Okay. Call me back

when you get this.

Have a great show, everybody.

Let's get out there

and really go for it.

[all] Oh, I will.

[piano music playing]

[singing] Big business ♪

Big dreams ♪

[all applauding]

As Hazel Sloane's

corporate empire grew,

she longed for simpler days

back at the castle,

so she headed to the forest.

Little did she know,

she'd cross paths

with a Dancing Chef

slash Marine Biologist from her past.

-Hazel?

-Brad?

Take my hand.

[whimsical music playing]

Spice it up, people!

[salsa music plays]

[all applauding]

New pages flying in.

-What?

-Just read them.

Then, having returned

from an Eco Summit, Elaine,

the Environmentally-Conscious

Farm Girl enters.

-She does?

-Yes, she does.

Chef Brad, I need to talk with you

about the coral reef study.

It's not good. Shall we walk

arm-in-arm and discuss?

Okay.

[Jade nervously chuckles]

What are you doing?

You aren't in the scene.

Mixing things up.

Plus, we need to address climate change.

I'm worried about

the endangered marine layer.

-Hold me close!

-Okay.

We aren't done with our dance.

This is not what we rehearsed.

But she's not wrong

about that marine layer.

It's a global issue.

I'm working on it.

Man, you guys are tiring

me out.

Perhaps you need

a place to sit.

Sweet, thanks, rock.

I'm no longer just any rock,

good sir.

I'm a beloved gemstone.

The rarest of the rare.

Maybe even fit for marriage.

Okay.

What are you guys doing?

This is my scene,

and you're ruining it.

I'm here because Lucas

has a crush on me.

No, he has a crush on me.

No, he has a crush on me.

I'm crushing you?

-I'll get up--

-No! Stay!

That's it. We're skipping

to the end, people.

Places for the wedding song!

[Older Posey] The wedding song

was technically seven songs away,

but we did the wedding song.

[singing] Hazel Sloane

gets it all in the end ♪

The business, it beams

and the guy of her dreams ♪

It's my wedding day ♪

Time for my wedding

Let's shout, "hooray" ♪

For this wedding day

Wedding day ♪

Or is too soon?

Feels like it's too soon ♪

Yes, it's so absolutely

too soon! ♪

No girl, it's not.

It's my wedding day ♪

Or maybe he marries

the farm girl ♪

Or perhaps it's the rock ♪

Yes, the rock

from Wisconsin ♪

For clarity, that's me! ♪

Not Dwayne

"The Rock" Johnson ♪

[girls] It's my wedding day

Time for my wedding ♪

Let's shout, "hooray!" ♪

For this wedding day

Wedding day ♪

And that, my friends,

is a metaphor for life.

Sometimes it all can

just come crashing down.

The end!

[applause]

[Posey, Tulip, Jade vocalize]

The Aftermath ♪

I'm so sorry.

That was a disaster--

And I loved it.

I saved the show.

-You're happy?

-Fulfilled! By acting.

This school deserves a club

for kids who've always

wanted to try acting

but are too scared.

"The Theater Before

Theater Club."

And I know just the man

to run it.

You!

Honey, we're gonna have

to postpone our wedding again.

That was a train wreck.

What got into us?

I don't even know

what I was doing.

I completely blacked out.

I thought Lucas liked me,

and I went crazy for a minute.

I'm so sorry.

No, I'm sorry.

I thought Lucas liked me,

and I totally lost it.

It was those curls.

I know, they smell

like vacation.

[both] Right?

Guys, I don't like this.

It's not us.

So not us.

This can never happen again.

I mean, who cares

who he has a crush on?

Our friendship

is too important.

A hundred percent.

I have an idea.

Let's make a pact.

We will never let a crush

come between us again.

Promise.

Promise.

Promise.

And we still got the pact.

And to answer your question,

this is what our song

"The One" is about.

"The One" isn't about a boy

or a girl or any crush.

It's about us.

We are "The One."

one friendship

with an unbreakable bond.

Wait. Should we play it

right now?

Let's play it right now.

Wait, in here?

There's a couch in the way,

-and we don't have instruments.

-But we do have roadies.

[all] Tony!

[upbeat music playing]

We were about to break

I could feel it coming ♪

Slow slipping away,

Couldn't just do nothing ♪

Made matching mistakes,

But hey, who doesn't? ♪

Oh, oh ♪

Don't wanna be scared

of looking back ♪

Don't wanna lose

what we always had ♪

No drama I think

I'm cool with that ♪

[all] You think

you're cool with that ♪

You'll always,

only ever be ♪

The one, the one,

the one for me ♪

You'll always,

only ever be ♪

The one, the one,

the one for me ♪

I don't know what to do ♪

Or how I'm gonna make

it through ♪

You feel it all,

I feel it too ♪

You got me and I got you ♪

You'll always,

only ever be ♪

The one, the one,

the one for me ♪

-[Older Tulip] Love you.

-Me too, ding-dongs.

-Me too, too.

-[all giggle]

Still love that song.

[girls] Hi, Lucas Jasper.

And I still love that you call

me by my full name.

Now can I take

my girlfriend out

for our anniversary dinner?