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01x07 - Episode 7

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "007: Road to a Million". Aired: 10 November 2023 – present.*
Watch/Buy Amazon



Hosted by Brian Cox, it features nine teams of two competing in a race to win £1 million each through a series of spy-themed challenges.

01x07 - Episode 7

Post by bunniefuu »

[suspenseful music]

[Controller] You are in

the Atacama desert.

Parts of it are devoid of all life.

NASA tests here to replicate

the conditions on Mars.

This is Viking 1,

NASA's first successful Mars landing.

For 100,000 pounds,

when did Viking 1 land on Mars?

[James] It's either ‘76 or ‘83,

I'm leaning towards ‘83.

Let's see that one more time.

Look for clues in here.

Like digital watch.

[Sam] Cigarettes inside,

when was that banned?

- Not for ages. See those big collars?

- Yeah.

[James] You know, and the dull ties.

[sighs]

[Sam] [sighs]

In the pictures the actual NASA people,

but maybe cause they're all like geeks,

they've all got

the big collars and big ties.

But the people

who are standing, watching it.

[suspenseful music]

That just reminds me of family photos

when we were at the beach.

You know,

the silly little high shorts and stuff.

I think that's the 80s.

I think that's the early 80s.

- Can we go for it?

- I think we should go for it.

We got it, we got it.

Okay, we're going for C.

- [Sam] We're going for C.

- [James] You do it.

- [James laughs] Come on.

- [Sam] You do it.

[sighs]

[suspenseful music]

[helicopter whirring]

[James] You hear that?

[Sam] Yeah.

It definitely sounds like something.

[whirring gets louder]

[Sam] What the

What colour?

- [Sam] It's red.

- [James] Ah, mate.

It's been awesome, it's been awesome.

[Sam] [sighs]

[James] Let's go back

for that bottle of Bolly.

[Sam] Yeah.

Mate.

[James] Wa-hey!

- Well, here's to us.

- [Sam] Cheers.

50 grand in the bank

and an adventure we will never forget.

- Cheers to that.

- Cheers.

[sombre music]

[Controller] And then

there were three.

[James Bond theme music tones]

[suspenseful music]

[James Bond theme music tones]

[chattering]

- [Jen] This is really similar to Guyana.

- [Beth] Is it?

[Jen] Yeah.

[Jen] Parts of downtown.

All the stalls on the street.

- [phone rings]

- Oh! Phone said something.

[Controller] The next question

is for 200,000 pounds.

Find this ship. The Cayman Trader.

- [Jen] Cayman Trader.

- [Controller] It's at sea,

a few miles South of Morgan's Harbour.

[audio clicks off]

Morgan's Harbour.

So it's actually out at sea,

so we can't get to it.

We'll have to find a way to get out.

[suspenseful music]

[Beth] Where are we going, which way?

The Cayman Trader.

We going out through the channel.

- Straight out to the harbour.

- Yeah.

- Cayman Trader is right behind there.

- Okay.

[Beth] Which direction is it?

Where will we see it?

- [driver] Pardon?

- [Beth] Where will we see it?

[driver] Beneath the water.

- So is it sunk?

- Sunk, yeah.

So it's not on the top of the water?

No, we'll be seeing everything

beneath the water.

- It's a wreck?

- Everything is beneath the water, sunk.

Look, this is what we got shown.

Okay.

- Not like this.

- You not going to see that no more.

I mean, okay.

- So wreck diving then.

- It's a wreck dive.

Oh, now I'm nervous.

Yeah. We weren't expecting that.

[Beth] I thought this was a boat

on the water that we would climb on.

We should know by now.

- Yeah.

- Never easy.

That is gonna be a challenge for me.

I'm claustrophobic.

Oh, no.

[Jen] To people that don't know me,

I come across as quite adventurous

and maybe quite brave.

That confidence comes from

doing lots of different things in my life

and being in dangerous situations

and has helped to be able

to stay calm and logical.

Forcing myself into doing something

that I'm scared of.

Because it is just that mindset thinking.

It's just adrenaline

at the end of the day, and you can feel it

and it makes you feel sick,

but it doesn't mean you can't do it.

Put your other arm through.

Nod when you're ready.

[Beth] Keep twisting

and then turn it back one clock.

- Okay.

- Yeah.

Yeah. 3000 just under two.

We need to get in there.

- Yeah.

- Shall we grab some fins?

[Jen] If I feel I'm in control,

I won't be scared.

Let's get in and find out

where we need to go.

Yeah.

- Okay?

- Yeah.

[Jen] Okay.

[ominous music]

[suspenseful music]

[epic music]

Perfect, well done.

[Jen] [grunts]

Just gonna take a minute.

- [Jen] You did amazing.

- Same for you.

I can safely say,

scuba diving is not my thing.

[Beth] No. Pretty though wasn't it?

Yeah.

[Beth] Ready? On three. One, two, three.

[Controller] The Caribbean Sea's

warm waters

are a popular destination

for divers, swimmers,

and dozens of species of shark.

For 200,000 pounds,

which of these sharks

kills more humans than the others?

Bull shark.

Hammerhead shark.

Whale shark.

- It's definitely not a whale shark.

- I don't think it's a whale shark.

I've dived with those in Australia.

That's a basking one.

It's really big, very gentle.

Bull shark sounds aggressive, doesn't it?

But hammerhead

Hammerheads have got

aren't their mouths underneath?

Yeah, and they've got the long bit

of their face with their eyes.

I can't see how

they bite people very easily,

because their mouths

are really underneath where

Their head is flat

and the mouth's on the bottom.

I think a bull shark

is really known to be aggressive,

so I would imagine it's bull shark.

- I think it's that one.

- Should we do it?

- Go for A?

- Yeah.

[phone ringing]

Phone's gone again.

[ringing continues]

[Controller] Beth and Jen.

Your resourcefulness

continues to impress me.

But what about your judgement?

Are you sure your answer is the right one?

Just think about all that money.

Good luck.

Oh God, that's put the frighteners in.

- Just trying to psyche us out now.

- I know.

Trying to make us second guess ourselves.

Remember how we've done that before?

We've overthought all the answers.

- Yeah.

- When there's not always been a need to.

"Kills more humans."

I'm trying to think of

other options for how people would die.

I know that sounds silly.

I can't see how a hammerhead

I don't think you go free diving

with a hammerhead shark, do you?

It's definitely not C.

- I think it's not C.

- Yeah, and B.

- Between the two.

- [sighs]

We should stick with our original answer.

We shouldn't change,

because this is part of it, isn't it?

Definitely confident with bull?

- Well, as confident as I'm ever gonna be.

- Yeah, same.

- Should we go for it?

- Okay.

Ready?

Okay, ready? On three.

One, two, three.

[Controller] You chose option A.

Your answer is

Oh please be right, please be right.

[suspenseful music]

I hate not being sure.

Oh, don't. We're done the decisions there.

We both agreed it, this is a team.

- [Controller] Correct.

- Yes!

Awesome! We were right not to change.

[sighs] Quick dip?

[epic music]

- Welcome to San Monique.

- [Joey] Thank you.

Please allow me to show you to your suite.

It's just, unbelievable, innit?

What a beautiful place.

Gentlemen, welcome to your suite.

[Joey] Thank you.

You'll find fresh clothes

and refreshments here.

- We'll see you this evening.

- Thank you very much.

Cheers.

[Joey] I've got ready in some right dives,

you know what I mean?

This is knocking it out the park.

[James] Looking sharp, boy.

[Joey] Not scrubbing up too bad, mate.

[James] Mate, imagine the parties

they've had in this gaff over the years.

Imagine the sort of party

we're gonna have when we win 300 grand.

[James] That ain't TK Maxx, is it?

[Joey] Very nice.

Starched. Proper starched.

Perfect fit.

[Joey] Like getting the girls dressed.

I'm terrible at that as well.

Yep, that's all mate.

Fold your collar down.

You do that then.

No, that looks suave mate. Looks good.

- This is a proper jacket.

- [Joey] Proper velvet.

[James] I never used to wear watches,

but now's a good time to start.

Let's make it count.

Hundred percent. Don't get dressed up

like this and get it wrong do ya?

- Wrong ain't a word we use.

- Nah.

[James] Until we hear something,

we might as well have another tipple.

Do the honours then, son.

[chuckles] What else you gonna do?

- Until you know what's coming.

- Don't know, do you?

He'll get we're a little bit nervous.

[Controller] Joey and James.

Welcome to San Monique.

- Hello?

- What was that?

[suspenseful music]

[Controller] Surely you recognise me

by now.

Is that you in real life?

[Controller] It is, well done.

Dare I say it,

you sound a lot nicer

in person than on a recorded device.

Thanks so much for the get-up

and what a wonderful place you have.

Oh, thank you Joey. I'm glad you approve.

I must say

you have both exceeded my expectations

and I've enjoyed watching

your painful progress.

It's got a bit harder

the last couple times, I must say.

You've definitely put us

through the ringer.

Oh yes, I have.

And I'm only just getting started.

Beth and Jen, my nurses.

Congratulations on getting this far.

Josh and Kamara.

I'm so pleased you made it.

But I wouldn't get too comfortable.

This, I expect,

is where your journey will end.

Bruv, don't say that.

Joey and James,

I don't expect you to succeed tonight.

But you know what, Mr. Voice,

we've said from the off,

the money is beautiful

and it's life-changing

and it's the prize at the end of it,

but this adventure has been

the greatest thing we've done in our life.

So, we ain't ready to go home yet.

How sweet.

But remember one thing,

the house always wins.

[dramatic music]

- Welcome.

- Thank you.

- Right this way.

- Wow.

Here we go.

[Jen] How are you in casinos?

I don't hang out in them very often.

[Beth and Jen] Thank you.

- [James] Thank you, sir.

- [Joey] Thank you very much. Cheers.

- Cheers.

- What is going on here?

Hiya.

- Have a seat, please.

- Thank you.

A croupier will be over to see you soon.

- Thank you very much.

- Thank you very much, sir.

[scoffs]

Look at this man, this is outrageous.

This is like how the other half live.

Proper, proper smooth.

It's a fold.

[soft piano music]

- Have you ever been to a casino?

- Yeah.

I've been at a few.

I'm not a gambler by any stretch,

but I've been to a few casinos,

but I ain't played for this sort of money.

[Joey] I hope we ain't playing cards

for the 300k.

[James] He can't do that. [laughs]

I'd much rather have a question.

Lot of money we're playing for now.

[epic music]

- [Beth] Look at the view.

- [Jen] Amazing.

[Beth] There's actually

a little beach down there.

- This is gorgeous.

- Beautiful.

Yeah. See any alligators? [laughs]

Have a seat.

Your croupier will be with you soon.

Croupier.

- Thank you.

- Thank you.

What's a croupier?

[Josh] I don't know.

[Joey] Beautiful place. Beautiful people.

You've always wanted

to be a social climber.

Yeah.

I'm nervous.

- What are you nervous about?

- Because I don't know what to expect.

- Yeah, that's the thing.

- He's got us all dressed up. For what?

[suspenseful music]

- [Josh] Hold on.

- [Kamara] Somebody's there.

- That's the briefcase.

- Oh, my God.

[Kamara] Oh, God. [takes deep breath]

Yeah, my tummy's hurting.

- Yeah.

- I've got the nervous tummy.

Don't worry.

[epic music]

[inaudible chatter]

Good evening, gentlemen.

- Good evening, sir.

- Good evening.

I believe this case is for you.

[suspenseful music]

[Controller] In the high-paced

game of craps,

over time, each throw of two dice

has developed its own nickname.

Snake eyes for double one

is perhaps the best known.

For 300,000 pounds,

what is a double two called?

Jimmy hicks.

Ballerina.

Man alive.

I'm not a gambler,

I don't know anything about like

Bloody wish I was at this moment in time.

So

- Basically, I don't know the answer.

- Neither do I.

[suspenseful drum beat]

I wasn't ready for this.

[Controller] Legend has it

that the martini was created

by bartender Martini di Arma di Taggia

in New York in 1910.

For 300,000 pounds

Oh, God.

[Controller] Who was it said

that he was making it for?

Walter Chrysler.

John D. Rockefeller.

Waldorf Astor.

I don't know who any of them are

apart from Rockefeller.

God, I don't know.

[Jen] This is so hard.

[suspenseful music]

[James] Snake eyes.

You look at that

- Yeah, 'cause you looks like snake eyes.

- Yeah.

[James] Is it something to do

with the way it looks?

[Controller] Fabergé eggs,

a small series of exquisite

jewel-incrusted objet d'art.

For over a hundred years,

these eggs have been traded,

smuggled and sold at auction

for eye watering sums,

sometimes even used as wages in casinos.

This one is a fake.

The last real Fabergé egg

to come up for auction

was the Rothschild egg in November 2007.

For 300,000 pounds,

how much was it sold for?

Three million pounds.

Six million pounds.

Nine million pounds.

Jesus.

So

It's either 6 million or 9 million.

- Who the f*ck is Jimmy Hicks?

- I don't know.

- [James] I ain't got I don't know.

- [Joey] Man alive. Two.

If you rolled a two

and he come out man alive,

why would man alive be four?

Double two.

What's the game called? Craps?

- Crabs?

- No, craps.

Craps. Crabs. Different type of problem.

[Joey] The old Jimmy Hicks.

Would that not be six?

[James] Yeah, could be.

Man alive, five?

- What's ballerina two though?

- I don't know, is it

We are going on the pretence

that it's rhyming slang

and it's not

'cause snake eyes doesn't mean

- It's the look of it.

- The look of it.

The look of it does.

It doesn't mean the others can't be.

Doesn't really roll off

the tongue though, does it?

The ballerina.

- Okay. Wait, hold tight.

- Okay.

- Yeah. Calm down. Relax. Breathe.

- I'm sweating. I can't breathe.

First and foremost, we got three options.

[Kamara] Three million,

six million, nine million.

[Josh] Yes.

This is 300 grand.

Okay. So Chrysler is gonna be

the guy that makes cars.

Waldorf Astor. I'm sure he's a hotelier.

Waldorf. Yeah.

- Rockefeller.

- [Jen] One of the really rich families.

But I don't know when he was alive.

No, I don't.

But there's generations of Rockefeller.

Let's have a think.

Did you hear what year he said?

Um, 1910 I think.

Oh, good lord.

Yeah.

I don't know the answer, mate.

I don't know the answer.

Nobody won.

Do you have a preference?

Do you have a like

Let's not talk about it.

Just think in your own head.

[suspenseful music intensifies]

I ain't got a clue, mate.

- What are you thinking?

- I really don't know.

[Kamara] [groans]

- I'm gonna go nine million.

- Okay.

That's what I'm thinking

because it's "eye watering."

Like out of those three.

Yeah. Highest.

Yeah, that's the highest, um

Flipping hell, I'm shaking and clammy.

[sighs]

It is what it is.

Shall we go nine?

Honestly?

Is that the most obvious, I don't know?

[sighs]

- That's the question.

- Is it six because it's in the middle?

Nine million sounds reasonable

to buy a Rothschild egg.

That's close. Really close.

[Jen] This is so hard.

- Oh

- Um

[Jen] This is impossible.

[Beth] Totally stuck.

[Jen] We're just gonna have

to pick one, aren't we?

[Beth] What do you think?

I think Rockefeller.

I think my gut says that.

I don't know the answer.

I don't know the answer either.

That's the only one I heard of

that I know is from

an American wealthy family, so

I'm gonna be honest,

I could be completely wrong.

I don't think it's that.

Jimmy Hicks, I have no idea who that is.

I don't know what it means,

but it rhymes.

- [Joey] I don't think it's that.

- Me neither, at least we can

If it is that it, it is.

I don't think it is.

Man alive does rhyme with five.

[James] Two, five, man alive.

- But, ballerina. Two.

- But look

Ballerinas are very silhouetted,

aren't they?

But look at the posture,

it's like they're I mean

Is it the Ballerina legs,

like, with the

That's what I mean

If you stand ‘em up,

is it two skinny legs?

[James] It's symmetrical dancing.

Two twos.

I don't know the answer, to me, that's it.

But also, the girls are ballerinas.

You know?

- It's all about symmetry.

- Of course it is.

So, snake eyes is one.

I get that, visually.

- Two eyes.

- Two twos, symmetrical.

Ballerina, it's all about being

perfectly in sync when you're dancing.

- The more I look at it, two, two

- Tutu. Ballerina. Tutu.

Oi oi, Hey!

Is that all we got, f*cking hell.

All right, let's go see.

I'm going to

[Kamara] I'm not looking. I'm too

My belly's hurting.

- Go on, do it.

- No, I'm not doing it. You do it.

Yeah, I'm going with it.

[sighs]

[Beth] Do you want

to think about it more?

We're not gonna change our minds, are we?

[Beth] Okay, let's press it.

All right, ready?

- Oh, this is horrible.

- I know, but let's just

[Beth] ready?

So we're going B, Rockefeller.

You sure?

One, two, three.

[Controller] For 300,000 pounds,

you have selected answer B.

- Are you gonna flick it?

- No, you do it, please.

[Controller] For 300,000 pounds,

you have selected answer C.

[Joey] Are we happy?

B.

- [James] Let's do it. B.

- [Joey] Yeah?

The Tutu. Like Desmond.

[Controller] For 300,000 pounds,

you have selected answer B.

Your answer is

Oh, the circles of death.

God.

[suspenseful music]

[James] That's gotta be right.

If it ain't right, it f*cking should be.

[suspenseful music intensifies]

- [Controller] Correct.

- Yes!

Oh, buddy.

- [Controller] Correct.

- [both] Yes!

[both cheering]

Come on! Get in there!

[suspenseful music intensifies]

- [Controller] Correct.

- [yells]

- Oh, my God.

- Let me throw you off the thing.

Oh my God. Oh flip.

Yes! Yes!

- Bubs, I can't, I can't.

- [Josh] Oh, no, no, no, no.

[both laughing]

I was ready to just

[sighs] Okay, what's next?

[James Bond theme music tones]

[epic music]

- It's so beautiful.

- Stunning.

Harsh, but beautiful.

[Jen] I think the further we get,

the more I don't want to fail.

I feel like I'm going to fall out.

I'm scared.

When I see something

that's breathtakingly amazing,

I know I'm in for sh*t.

[James Bond theme music tones]

[epic music]