02x22 - The Apprentice

[bunniefuu]

Man: Xiaolin Showdown.

All: Aah! All: Aah!

Aah! Aah!

Aah! Aah!

Man: Xiaolin Showdown.

Master Fung: Today's exercise

will train you to fight

against our newest and

most ingenious enemy.

I am preparing you to

fight Chase Young.

Master Fung: Today's exercise

requires you to race

to the top of these rocks

and use deception

in order to win.

I get it. You want us

to think like an outlaw

so we can beat an outlaw.

Omi, look to your right.

Where? I do not see anything.

Uhh!

How 'bout a hand, pardner?

Aah! Whoa! Uhh!

Aah! Whoa!

I see. You offered me a hand

only to deceive me.

I have learned my lesson.

Omi: I shall never

be deceived again!

Ha ha!

Ow! My leg!

Allow me to help you.

Whoa! Uhh!

Oh, yeah! Whoo hoo!

I am impressed with

your willpower, Kimiko.

It must be painful to

dance on an injured leg.

Her leg isn't injured, Omi.

She was just pullin' yours.

Raimundo: Face it, Omi, you

are just way too trusting.

Ohh, I trust you are

most likely right.

There. With your newly

installed obedience chip,

you'll do all the things

I hate to do, robojack.

Prepare for a life

of chores, homework,

and picking up after me.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Now get me some pudding!

I got a better idea, Jack.

You get me some pudding,

and yourself a new face.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

No, no, you don't get it!

I'm the real Jack, Jack.

You're my robot!

Well, I say I'm the

real Jack, Jack,

and you're my robot.

Am not! Are, too!

Are, too! Am not!

UhhUhhUhh!

UhhUhhUhh!

Aah! Aah!

Ahem.

Chase, what an honor to have you

hack into my computer network.

I'm calling because I've decided

to take on an apprentice.

Wow, thanks, but "apprentice"

doesn't quite work for me.

Title-wise, it's a big step

down from evil boy genius.

I'm not offering you anything

but the chance to win a job.

You'll be up against katnappe.

Purrrfect.

Katnappe?!

Aah!

Uhh! Aah!

If you want the job,

you have to beat katnappe

to the next Shen Gong Wu.

UhhYou can count on me!

I always come out on top!

Dojo: The Shen Gong

Wu we're looking for

is called the woozy sh**ter.

It emits a purple haze

that confuses people

and makes them act goofy,

like game show contestants.

Jack and robojack: Uhh! Aah!

Omi: It looks like Jack Spicer has

already taken in a big whiff!

Aah! Uhh!

You don't know Jack, Jack!

No, you don't know Jack, Jack!

Don't touch me, Jack!

I'm looking for the

"off" switch, Jack!

Raimundo: Is it really possible?

Could Jack have built a robot

that's even more lame than him?

Robojack: Our woozy

sh**ter is thataway!

Shen GongWu!

Little Clay: Howdy, pardner!

Well, if it ain't my

little, metal mini me.

Ehh! Uhh!

Howdy, pardner!

Your hairclips are so rad.

Thanks! Ow!

I can't believe you

guys fell for that.

Whoa, look at that

cutie behind you.

Ooh! Where?!

Uhh! Uhh!

Step aside, little me,

or prepare to be defeated.

You need not worry, o wise one.

Always honest and trustworthy.

I believe you, my friend.

Waah! Uhh!

You are sonny bony head!

The minibots must have

been reprogrammed,

but by who?!

Katnappe: By me-ow!

I stole them out of

your papa's garage.

Cat-ch me later.

Chase, give us another chance.

2 out of 3 Wu?

You are a pathetic excuse

for an evil boy genius.

And he can't even dress himself!

Look! Different colored socks!

Hey, I just have trouble

with my reds and browns!

Katnappe has won the

apprentice position.

You have won my pity.

So in a way, we're all winners.

I can't believe little Clay

turned on me like that.

You raise 'em the best you can

and they go off and

break your heart!

I say too much TV

and that rap music.

Jack: I know how you feel.

Huh?! Huh?! Huh?!

My robojack just changed

the locks on my evil lair.

My mom is baking him

cookies as we speak.

Jack Spicer.

I know, "prepare

to be defeated."

Go on, put me out of my misery.

You confuse me with your

new battle technique

of self-pity.

My only goal in life was to become

the most evil jerk in the world,

and I even failed at that.

If it is of any comfort,

I will always think

of you as a jerk.

Yeah, me, too.

The stinkiest.

As rotten as road k*ll in July.

Thanks, guys.

It's good to have enemies

you can count on

at a time like this.

UhhPlease let go.

The 3 second rule!

Uhh! Jack Spicer,

have you ever

considered that perhaps

you were meant to fight

in the name of good?

Ya think so?

Perhaps I could teach you.

Why not? I am pretty desperate.

Ohh, you fill my heart with joy!

Ha ha ha ha ha!

3 second rule!

Master Fung!

Good news! Jack Spicer has agreed

to join the forces of good!

Omi, I am not sure if

Please, Master Fung?

I will teach him,

and as you have often said,

ahh. Very well.

Huh? Huh? Huh?

Ohh, thank you, Master Fung.

I promise I will not let you up.

Down.

In every direction.

Omi: Shh.

Aah!

Rise and sparkle, Jack Spicer!

It is time for your

training to begin!

OhhListen, cheddar head,

I'm really no good unless

I get my 12 hours.

Wake me when lunch is ready.

You leave me no choice.

Arm of tornami!

Jack: Waah! Aah! Aah! Aah!

Before we train you,

we must un-train you.

Oof!

Waah!

I never realized being good

was so much about cleanliness.

Wring out the hate,

Jack Spicer

And the soap as well.

We do not want Master Fung to

get a foot fungus! Hee hee!

Ooh.

And don't skimp on the soap.

I like the fresh

smell of spring.

All: Ha ha ha!

Aah!

Scrub out the

anger, Jack Spicer,

and the years of bitterness!

And use more

anti-bacterial soap!

I'm kind of a germ freak.

Aah!

Work until the evil

is drained out

and there is nothing

but goodness!

And of course, until the

tea stains are gone,

some of which are

over 1,500 years old.

Like that one, there.

Hey! You did that on purpose!

No, I didn't.

I did that on purpose.

What?

Omi: Well, Jack Spicer?

What did you think of your

first day of training?

Clay: You know, I

hate to admit it,

but havin' Spicer

around ain't so bad.

Especially since he

does all of our chores!

And my underwear has

never smelled so fresh!

Mmm! Clay: Hey! Those are mine!

And my litter box is clean

enough to eat out of.

Good night, little buddy.

Good night, other little buddy.

Hey! Hold on, there!

They may be cute and cuddly,

but they are most dangerous.

Woozy sh**ter!

How does this go?

Typhoon boom.

Water.

No, you're not Water. Heh heh!

I'm Water.

Hee ha ha ha h* h*!

You're not Water! You're a girl.

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha! Hey, look!

Can anyone else touch their

nose with their tongue?

Oh, no! You are all goofy!

And I am goofy as well!

Goofy and schmoofy!

Whoa! Aah!

Hey!

Uhh!

Hey, guys. What's going on?

4 monks down,

and one whiny geek to go.

I'm not whiny!

Woozy sh**ter!

Reversing Mirror.

Ha ha ha! Whoa!

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Jack Spicer, you have done well.

Now, let us kick some

mini butt together!

Tornado strike Water!

Hee hee hee hee!

Judallet flip Fire!

Kimiko-bot, time for a makeover,

kung fu style.

Seismic kick Earth!

How about a dose of your

own medicine, little Clay?

Oof! Oof! Oof! Oof!

Typhoon boom Wind!

Time to show mini

me the real me.

Heh heh heh!

Omi: Master Fung.

Once again good has

triumphed over evil,

and we owe our victory

to the brave actions

of the reformed Jack Spicer.

Master Fung: I see.

And where exactly is Spicer

and the Shen Gong Wu?

I trusted him.

I have to admit, Spicer,

I'm impressed.

Me, too.

It's so unlike you, Jack,

to do something right.

You've proven yourself.

I welcome you as

my new apprentice.

Ohh, thank you, thank you!

All I can say is,

Jack Spicer has arrived!

3 second rule. Aah!

First Spicer, then cat litter.

Why do we have to

put up with her?

Because she is injured.

And it is the way

of the Xiaolin monk

to help those in need.

That's right.

Listen to the cute one.

What? Is it my fault

I am so cute?

Katnappe? What are you doing up?

You must rest your injured paw.

Oh, heh, right. Well

I was justLonely.

Then you will be glad to know

that I have the minibots

to keep you company.

This is so Thoughtful of you.

How can I ever repay you?

Perhaps you can turn

to the side of good?

What if I found a way to

return all the Shen Gong Wu

that Jack stole?

I know where he keeps them

why would you help me?

Because you are so, so cute!

So I have been told.

But if I help you,

you have to keep

our plan a secret.

The others would never trust me.

Time for my revenge,

Jack Spicer!

Hyah!

Huh?

Aah! I did not want

that much revenge!

That's just one of

his stupid robots.

Now for the Wu.

Looks like a most

difficult safe to split.

To crack.

But it is Jack's safe.

12

Duh! 3.

Well, look who's here.

Leader of the kung

fools and his pet.

Robo-Jacks, attack!

Hey, behind you, Jack!

Thanks, Jack.

Jack Spicer!

I challenge you to a

Xiaolin Showdown.

The game is truth or lies.

Last to fall wins.

My Lotus Twister against

your Silk Spinner.

Let's go!

Xiaolin Showdown!

Both: Gong yi tan pai!

Jack Spicer,

telling the truth is

definitely not your element.

Yeah, but sneaky is.

Aaah!

Whoa!

Jack Spicer, truth or lie:

You seek world domination

because you feel

small and worthless?

Lie!

No. Truth!

Whoa!

My turn.

Do you work so hard

as a Xiaolin monk

because you know you're an

oddball geek with a big head?

Ha! That is most ridiculous.

Lie!

But you do have a big ego.

No! My ego is the right size.

You lied!

Whaaah!

Silk Spinner!

Did you steal the Shen Gong Wu

because you feel that

you would fail at good,

just as you have failed at evil?

Jack Spicer, fail? Lie.

No. Truth.

Truth, and more truth.

Whaaah! Lotus Twister.

Did you really believe me

when I agreed to turn good?

Or did you just take me in

because you wanted to

prove your friends wrong?

I believed you,

and you disappointed me, deeply.

Really? Well, you

shouldn't have.

I was planning to turn

on you all along.

Omi: You lie.

You did try.

Aaah!

Katnappe, I have defeated Jack.

And you have escaped with

all the Shen Gong Wu.

Nice work, my little

evil freakbots.

I say we take the Wu

and have a purr-fect

evil weekend.

Hey! Oof!

What's going on here?

I knew you would twice-cross me,

so I twice-crossed you first!

That's double-cross,

but you get the idea.

That is why I asked Kimiko to

reprogram the bots for me.

Uhh! I can't believe it.

Deceived by a gnome.

Hee hee! I did it!

I am an accomplished

Xiaolin liar.

You had some day there, champ.

You lied your head off,

broke into a lair,

cracked open a safe, and

Had a girl beat up.

Hmmm

Yes. Fighting on the side

of good is most rewarding.

Our young apprentice has

made remarkable progress.

So, is he ready to join us?

Not yet, but soon.

He has just tasted evil.

In time, he will

learn to crave it.

Omi: I have 4 aces.

He is lying.

The dude is playing us.

We got him this time.

Read them and begin

your weeping.

That's read 'em and weep,

and I'm about to.

Oh, how do you win every hand?

It is most simple. I cheat.

Heh heh! No! I am a liar

when I say I cheat.

How do we know you're

not lying to us now?

Because you are all my friends.

I could never lie to my friends.

I am master of deception. Ha ha!

Let's play again!