02x19 - The Year of the Green Monkey

[bunniefuu]

Xiaolin Showdown!

Aah! Aah! Aah!

Xiaolin Showdown.

Whoo! Yeehaw!

Yeehaw!

Hawyee!

Ha ha!

Yah-hee!

Aah!

Tongue of Saiping!

Horse, what are you doing?

You are supposed to

leap over the hedge,

not eat through it.

It's too high. I'm lowering it.

Perhaps if you did

not eat so much,

you could leap higher.

Well, perhaps if we

switched places,

you could carry me

around for a while.

Yah!

Would you mind turning

down the volume?

Some of us are trying to

get a little shut-eye.

In the middle of the day?

You are a very lazy animal.

What a mouth on

someone so small!

I am not small! I am compact!

Yeah. Any more compact, and we'd

need a microscope to find you!

You animals are all very rude

and very lazy!

No more Water for any of you!

Hooo hooo hooo! Haaa haaa haaa!

Monkey punch! Hyah!

Hooo hooo hooo! Haaa haaa haaa!

Uhh!

Don't tell now, monkey boy.

Uhh! Ow!

Ow! Uhh!

Uhh! Hoo-hoo-ha!

Uhh!

Perhaps I should hold

on to this, young monk,

until you learn to get along

with animals quietly.

Drop what you're

doing, boys and girls!

We've got ourselves a magnitude

8.0 Shen Gong Wu alert!

The Fountain of Hui has

just revealed itself.

When activated, it provides

unlimited knowledge.

Sounds like a pretty handy Wu if

you're doing a crossword puzzle.

I'm afraid by itself, it can

only provide random information,

but when combined with

its sister Shen Gong Wu

the Eagle Scope,

the two can be used to unlock

the greatest secrets

of the universe.

You mean like why baboons

have such colorful buttocks?

Yes, and even greater secrets.

All aboardThat is, if you don't

mind riding a very lazy animal.

It appears Jack Spicer has

chosen not to show up

at a battle he will

most certainly lose.

Wrong again. I show up

at all the battles that

I'm certain to lose.

Do you even think

before you speak?

So where are your robots? Did you

program them to run away? Ha ha!

Look again and weep, baby.

They have you surrounded.

Junk-bots, attack!

Looks like evil doesn't pay

as well as it used to.

Don't know whether

we should fight 'em

or have ourselves a garage sale.

What in tarnation?!

All: Dragon excumai formation!

The Fountain of Hui! Ha ha!

You fool! What do you

have to say for yourself?

I should have brought a

longer extension cord?

Hoo! Yeah!

Hey! Whoo!

Givin' evil a good

old-fashioned butt kickin'

is becoming my favorite sport.

The young monks have grown

quite strong in a short time.

Perhaps it is time they are

given a taste of true evil.

Chase Young! I can't

believe it's you!

Can I get you

something to drink?

How about a sandwich? A churro?

I have a proposition for you.

Look! He's touching my hand!

Do you still have

that Monkey Staff?

Yes. Right here!

For my plan to work,

I must also have

the Tongue of Saiping!

I'm afraid the monks

have that Wu

But I can get it for you.

Good.

Why do you need it?

If it was important

for you to know,

I would have told you.

Say no more. Thanks

for the explanation.

Ow!

But I will tell you this.

By the time it is over,

you will lead your

own evil army.

Wow! That is so cool!

I've always wanted

my own evil army!

We'll get started right away.

Hey, what's all the ruckus?

Look! Jack Spicer!

Does he really think we'd fall

for the trojan horse routine?

Hyah! Hyah! Hyah!

Yah!

Hyah!

I smell something most

rotten in Denver.

That's Denmark, and I do, too.

Perhaps we should post a guard

to watch over the vault.

I'm so brilliant, I

sometimes scare even me.

Aah-aah-aah!

Hah hah hoo! Hah hah!

Hmm.

Hey!

Huh?

Hmm. I have a most unusual

sensation in my spine.

Aah! Yah!

Uhh!

Uhh!

Eh?

Huh?

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Tongue of Saiping!

Monkeys of the jungle!

I summon your presence!

Today I assemble the greatest

monkey army of all times

in the name of evil!

It is the year of

the green monkey.

Monkey power is strongest now

and the Monkey Staff most

dangerous to whoever loses it.

Your orders are simple!

You will follow the big

monkey and do as he does!

This is the proudest

day of my life!

Aah! If mom could

only see me now!

Hmm. Mm-hmm.

Yep. Looks like an

inside job to me.

I don't get it.

Who would go through

so much trouble

just to steal the

Tongue of Saiping?

Someone who has a

plan far more evil

and the Patience to unleash

it when the time is right

When monkey power

is most powerful.

Well, if it isn't our

favorite primate!

Not only does he look

like a monkey

He smells like one, too.

Considering it's Jack Spicer,

anything is an improvement.

Hey, hey! Easy on the disses.

I'm here to take over.

Oh, yeah? You and what army?

I was hoping you'd ask me that.

Me and my army of monkeys!

Tongue of Saiping!

Monkeys, attack!

Hoo hoo! Hoo hoo! Hoo hoo!

Attack!

Hyah!

Uhh! Uhh! Uhh!

Uhh! Huh?

Aah!

Ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha!

ErrrrrUhh!

Ooh.

Aah!

Uh-ah-ah-ah!

Ah-ah-ah! Oh-oh-oh!

Uh-uh-uh-yaah!

Pbbbt!

I haven't seen so much

bitin' and scratchin'

since the last Thanksgiving.

There's too many of them!

Uhh!

We are trained Xiaolin warriors,

and they are mere jungle beasts!

Repulse the monkeys!

Huh?

Aah!

Yaah!

I can't believe it! We won!

Hoo hoo hoo hoo!

I sound like a monkey!

I think like a monkey!

I look like a monkey!

I am a monkey!

Pbbbt!

Maybe the fountain of hui

could show us what to do.

You heard Master Fung.

Without the sister

Wu, it's useless.

Right now, we are useless.

We must try something!

Aah!

Fountain of Hui!

Huh?

Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah!

Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh!

Stand back! He's gonna blow!

Aah! You ok there, pardner?

The atomic mass of

hydrogen is 1.007.

The cheetah is the

swiftest land animal.

The longest toenail

is 7-feet, 3 inches.

Ew! Way too much information.

An 11-letter noun from the

root word "to inform."

It looks like Omi

has blown a gasket.

A ring strip or sheet of rubber

or metal packed around a

piston or pipe joint.

Luminatramicroscopic-

siliconvolcanoconeosis

has exceeded

electrophotomicrogravity

as the longest word

in the dictionary.

A lot of info, but all useless.

That toenail tidbit was

kind of interesting.

Your plan for world

domination is brilliant,

especially the part of

turning Jack into a monkey.

Anyway, it's necessary for me

to keep the monks occupied.

The Eagle Scope cannot

fall into their hands.

No! Never!

Why not?

With both Shen Gong Wu,

they will learn the secret

to rid the world of evil

Forever.

Omi: The speed of light--

186,000 miles per second

from here to the moon when

the moon is in parity,

which means it's closer

in it's own orbit

Feeling any better, Omi?

Oh! I still have a splitting

soreness between my ears!

Did you know the longest ear

is 5 1/2 inches? Ow!

Maybe we can use

our Shen Gong Wu,

to get past the monkeys.

Our best Wu is all

corralled up in the vault.

We'll never get to it.

Hmm. Looks to me like Jack's

lost all interest in Wu.

Do you think he even

remembers he's a human?

I know I don't.

Aah! I got a monkey on my back!

Get it off! Get it off! Get

the monkey off my back!

Chill, little green dude.

It's just a bad dream.

No! A new Wu is about

to reveal itself!

Ooh. Along with my lunch.

Eagle Scope!

When combined with its sister

Wu, the Fountain of Hui,

it can unlock any secret

Well, the kid's still

bl-bl-bl-bl-bl.

Including how to rid

the world of evil!

Now I understand!

Jack is a mere puppy!

Puppet, I'm guessing.

Chase Young is the

mastermind behind this!

He must make certain that he

gets to the evil scope first!

Way to use the old melon, Omi!

How can we stop him?

As long as monkey

Jack is out there,

we're going nowhere!

To beat the monkey,

one must think like a monkey.

Huh?

Monkey Jack, I challenge

you to a Xiaolin Showdown!

I wager the Mantis Flip Coin

against your Monkey Staff!

That was most unnecessary.

The game is the battle

of the monkey bars.

The first to fall into the

bottomless pit loses!

Let's go!

Xiaolin Showdown!

Omi tokai!

Prepare to be

defeated, monkey boy!

Ow!

I have been bitten

by Jack Spicer!

Whoa! Monkey Jack

sure is hungry!

Uhh-uhh-uhh-uhh-uhh-uhh!

Uhh-uhh-uhh-uhh-uhh-uhh!

Yaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Uhh!

Uhh!

I must admit,

monkey Jack is a much

more worthy opponent

than regular Jack.

Hoo hoo! Hoo hoo! Hoo hoo!

Hoo hoo! Hoo hoo! Hoo hoo!

Mantis Flip Coin!

Just give him some 10-buck

runnin' action, all right, Omi?

Uhhhh-uhh!

Banana, please.

Don't you think you should

concentrate on winning first?

Oh, monkey boy, I have

something for you!

I think that move would

have worked on Jack

even if he wasn't a monkey.

You sure made a monkey out of that big ape!

With the best of them!

We have no time for your

much-deserved praises.

We must get to the Eagle Scope!

Jack: Hey! What's goin' on?

Where am I?

Who am I?

- Why do I smell like

- Ew!

Aaaaaaah!

Omi: Dojo, where is it?

It's right Not here.

We're too late.

We blew our chance to

rid the world of evil!

We may have lost the battle,

but I have a feeling the

w*r has only begun.

The fools! Ha ha ha! Now that

we have the Eagle Scope,

they have lost any

chance to defeat us.

But gained every

chance to join us.

Join us? That's ridiculous!

Heh heh heh! No, no, no!

I mean, that's brilliant!

I speak of one monk

in particular.

As a chapter of his life closes,

a new one shall soon open.

Who?! Which one?

The chosen one.

The one who I plan to

let rule by my side

for eternity.

The Monkey Staff

is most relaxing.

I do not know how I ever managed

without a tail before.

Ooh ooh! aaa aaa!

When you're done, mind

if I give it a try?

I've always wanted a tail.

You and me both, partner.

I guess it must be a boy thing.

Now, if you would

kindly look away,

I feel an urge to

scratch in a place

where I have never

scratched before.

Omi: Ooh