02x01 - Days Past

[bunniefuu]

Xiaolin Showdown.

Aaaah!

Aaah!

Aah! Aah!

Aah! Aah! Aah!

Xiaolin Showdown.

Omi: Previously on

Xiaolin Showdown

You have proven yourselves

ready for the next level,

Xiaolin apprentice.

I am sorry, Raimundo,

but you have proven that you

are not yet ready to move on.

I'm sick of this place. I

never should've left Brazil.

Raimundo, your performance

in the showdown

was most impressive.

And you are not even a

Xiaolin apprentice.

You're right, Omi, I'm not.

From now on,

you can find me on

the Heylin side.

He's stealing our Shen Gong Wu.

Serpent's Tail!

Stop!

Why would Raimundo take

just one Shen Gong Wu?

Because that one Shen Gong Wu

is all Wuya needs.

The Reversing Mirror is

the key to our victory.

It reverses the effects

of any Shen Gong Wu.

Serpent's Tail!

Reversing Mirror!

This is bad--

very, very bad.

Raimundo really has betrayed us.

Master Fung: This

is most troubling.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Ah, ha ha ha ha ha!

Unh! Uhh!

Ha!

Ha! Joke's on you, Wuya.

You broke the Reversing Mirror.

7 years bad luck.

In your face!

Actually, since it's

the Reversing Mirror,

it's 7 years good luck.

Ooh, hadn't thought of that.

Crud.

I reckon it's up to

us to take Wuya down.

There's only one way to do it.

Xiaolin style.

Orb of toranami!

Hyah!

Next.

Star Hanabi Fire!

Ha ha ha ha!

That tickles.

Third arm Sash Earth!

Whao-aah!

Ha ha ha! Huh?

Shen Gong Wu.

I am so beyond them now.

Let me show you what

Heylin magic can do.

Wha-aaaah!

Unh!

Ha ha ha ha!

Aah!

Aaaah!

Arrrrr!

Aah! Aah! Aah!

Crush them.

Aaaaaah!

I'm gonna take my

beard out of here!

Ok, how do we fight a super

powerful Heylin witch?

We're out-classed, out-gunned,

and out of luck.

You must not

despair, my friends.

There is always a

path to victory.

Huh?

Ok, now you may despair.

Incoming!

Unh! Uhh! Aaah!

All: Aaaaaah!

Kimiko, Clay,

we must hasten our retreat.

The forces of darkness are

Already here, Omi!

My friends, prepare for

our most fearsome battle.

Arrr! Aah!

Tiger claws!

Uh, back up, boys.

Raimundo, what are you doing?

Have you at last seen the

error of your evil ways?

Dude, my evil ways are

gonna kick your butt,

rule the world,

and drop me straight

into the lap of luxury.

You got a point here, Raimundo?

As a matter of fact, I do.

I thought I'd let you

mighty Xiaolin apprentices

beg for mercy.

Aah! Aah! Huh?!

Think again, Rai.

Yes, and then think

a third time,

because this begging

will not happen.

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Maybe you guys don't get it.

I'm the only one

who can save you.

Jack Spicer: Wrong!

Whoa! I--hey, where

is everybody?

Kimiko: Jack Spicer?

What are you up to, you

two-faced varmint?

Rescuing you.

You 3 dweebs are my only

hope of defeating Wuya.

Heh, sounded like he said Wuya.

He did.

Why would Jack, evil boy genius,

want Wuya, evil witch

hag, defeated?

Because Jack has finally

rejected the ways of evil.

Unh! I'm still evil right down

to my greedy black heart.

Ok.

Then count me among

the confused!

I want to rule the world.

Which I can't do

If Wuya's already ruling it.

Thank you. Ohh!

That is some mighty

twisted thinking.

But darned if it

don't make sense.

Jack Spicer, you say.

Yeah, I think.

Jack Spicer is a gnat.

We'll deal with him

when the time is right.

And that would be?

Right after we

conquer the world.

So, cue-ball,

what's the plan?

We don't have one.

We rarely do.

Really? You've got nothing?

All this time I thought you were

these amazing Xiaolin geniuses.

But you're just as lame as I am.

Ha ha ha!

Wait, that didn't

come out right.

Clay: We might not have a plan,

but Master Fung sure will.

Flee, my Xiaolin

apprentices, flee!

Arrr!

All: Aaah!

Get us out of here, Dojo.

Roger that!

Unh! Stop the undulating.

Please!

But, Jack, the undulating

is the best part.

Hey, ain't you ever

rode a dragon before?

Hey, now, come on!

I've got a bad feeling, Omi.

If Wuya controls the temple,

what's next?

Probably the whole world.

I am the absolute

ruler of the world.

And all before lunch.

Hmm, what do I do with

the rest of the day?

Whoa, this is not

what I was expecting.

Of course it isn't.

This whole conquering

the world thing,

I don't know if

I'm down with it.

I mean, I guess I thought--

you thought you

were going to get

everything you ever wanted,

and so you shall.

You--you've got every video

game ever made in here.

Oh, no, no, Raimundo.

You've got every video

game ever made.

Ah-ha-hye!

Ha ha ha!

Enjoy, Raimundo.

You've certainly earned it.

What you did to my hat, Jack,

well, it just ain't right.

Stop whining.

You're lucky I had

a light breakfast.

Ok, I'm stumped.

How are we supposed to beat Wuya

if the Shen Gong Wu no

longer work against her?

Well, ok.

I know this is a

bit of a stretch,

but what if we dumped a

bucket of glue over her?

Glue?

That's going to stop her

global reign of evil?

I'm talking a really

big bucket of glue.

I hate to say it,

but without master

fung to show us how,

we'll never be able

to defeat Wuya.

The only person who

ever defeated Wuya

was Grand Master Dashi.

Yeah, well, you missed him

by about 1,500 years, kids,

so good luck trying to ask him.

Kimiko: At least not

without a time machine.

Did somebody say time machine?

Behold, Jack Spicer's

evil time machine.

You are so overusing

the word evil.

Hey, I'm trying to

build a brand here.

Ooh! We can really use

this strange device

to travel back in time?

Well, sort of.

You can travel back in time,

but it's kind of lame.

What do you mean?

Watch this.

I bring you greetings

from the future.

Here, let me show you.

You see what I mean? Lame.

I can only generate enough power

to travel back 2 seconds.

And why is that?

Uhh, how to explain

the intricacies of manufactured

temporal distortion

to a simpleton cowboy.

Aha! Time machine need

much power to work.

Way more power

than Jack can gen-er-ate.

Did you get that?

Cowboy understand.

So why can't you just use

the Eye of Dashi for power?

Huh? Of course!

The Eye of Dashi has a

limitless supply of energy.

Uh, yeah. Which is what

I was about to say

until you two interrupted me.

Way more power than

I can generate

unless I use the Eye of Dashi.

Game: High score.

Big deal.

I always get the high score,

'cause nobody else is

playing this thing.

Tell the prime minister

it's either

unconditional surrender

or I'll knock his

jolly old island

to the bottom of the Atlantic.

Arr! Arrr! Arr!

Heh heh heh heh!

Oh, Raimundo, what's the matter?

Isn't everything to your liking?

Yeah, I guess so.

It's just

It's not as much fun

as I thought it'd be.

Didn't I deliver

everything I promised?

Oh, yes! But of course.

No, it's not the car.

I--well, the car is nice.

Real nice.

Like, the nicest car

I've ever seen.

But that's not the point.

What I'm trying to say is

what's the use of

having all this stuff

if I've got nobody

to share it with?

I need friends.

Oh, Raimundo.

All you had to do was ask.

Really? So you'll play with me?

Me? I'm far too busy

ruling the world

for such trivialities.

No. I meant them.

Play with Raimundo.

See to it that he is

adequately entertained.

There, you see? All better.

So, uh, you guys

like air hockey?

Ok, Omi, looks like

you're good to go.

You sure you wanna do this, Omi?

Time travel is very dangerous.

You could Wind up as

your own grandpa.

My safety is of

small consequence

when the world is ruled by evil.

Yeah, but don't you think

you need more Shen Gong Wu

than just the Orb of toranami?

No, you may need the rest

for your battle against

Wuya's forces.

Please be careful, Omi.

I will have the legendary

Grandmaster to protect me.

But may I have another hug?

I think he's ready.

The time machine is set to

send you back 1,500 years.

Now, I won't bore you

with the exceedingly complicated

calculations involved,

but I should be able to land you

right at the base of

the Xiaolin temple.

Good-bye, my friends.

Oh, and tell Dashi I'm

sorry about the shirt.

The shirt? He'll know.

Ok, Kimiko. Light it up, Baby.

Eye of Dashi!

And don't call me Baby.

Omi?

Omi: Aah! Yaah!

Ooh!

This is the Xiaolin temple?

But there's hardly

anything to it.

This is most unforeseen

and troublesome.

Now how will I ever hope

to find Grandmaster Dashi?

Perhaps there may be someone

down there who can help me.

Pardon me,

excuse me. Uh--

aah!

I don't suppose one

of you could help me?

Pardon me, honorable stranger.

I was wondering if you

might be able to--

huh? What? What is this?

Pardon me, honorable stranger.

I was wondering if you

might be able to tell me

where I could find

Grandmaster Dashi?

Who?

Grandmaster Dashi,

the legendary Xiaolin hero.

I am sorry.

I have never before

heard of thisDashi.

Never heard of him?

How can you have never heard

of the greatest of

all Xiaolin dragons?

He alone vanquished the

Heylin witch Wuya.

He alone saved the world from

10,000 years of darkness and evil.

So sorry.

I don't keep up with

current events.

Then you must be a lazy

bones of the highest order!

Hey, Dashi. Good

news and bad news.

Good news, I hid the

wings of tanabe

in that well, just

like you asked.

Dojo?

Bad news, I washed

your white shirt

with your red socks.

Dashi?

Nice going, Dojo. You

just blew my cover.

Grandmaster Dashi!

My wretched eyes are not fit

to gaze upon your magnificence,

oh, mighty Xiaolin dragon.

Stand up, kid.

You're embarrassing yourself.

And me.

Me, too.

Nothing to see here, folks.

Move on. Have a nice day.

Good to see you.

Move on.

Ok, kid, so what is it you want?

An autograph? Feng shui advice?

No, grandaster mashi.

I mean, danmaster grasti.

I mean-- oh, my

tongue is most tied.

Deep breaths, kid. Just

tell me what you want.

Ok.

I need the secret

to defeating Wuya.

Nutjob.

Back away slowly.

Kid, kid.

Wuya's locked in a

magical puzzle-box,

and she's not coming out.

That's why I'm famous, remember?

Yes, this I know.

But could you make another

puzzle-box anyway?

Why?

Because Wuya got out.

When?

1,500 years from now.

In the future where I am from.

NutJob.

Whoa!

You better tell me

the whole story.

And so, using Jack

Spicer's time machine,

I travel to this era.

Let's spell it together.

N-u-t-j-o-b.

So my puzzle-box only worked

for 1,500 years, huh?

Yes, Grandmaster.

Ok, Omi. I believe your story.

Yeah. So why don't

you hop back in

your little magic pixie

time machine and--

you believe him?

I do. The kid's got

an honest face.

Here's the deal, Omi.

I'll build you

another puzzle-box.

Oh, thank you, Grandmaster.

Hold on.

First you're gonna have

to prove you're worthy.

And how shall I prove myself?

I don't know, maybe

beat me in a contest?

You mean a Xiaolin Showdown?

Uh, yeah. That's a

good name for it.

Dojo, get me the Sands of Time.

Look, if you can take

this pebble from my hand

before the sands run

out of this hourglass,

then one enchanted

puzzle-box is yours.

But which Shen Gong

Wu shall be wagered?

Usually I'd wager one

of my Shen Gong Wu

against one of your

Shen Gong Wu--

Omi! I'm Grandmaster Dashi.

I make the rules.

Uh, agreed. Let's go!

Xiaolin Showdown!

Nice effect.

Indeed.

Gong Yi Tampai!

What does that mean?

Basically it means

ready, set go--oof!

Hey, come back!

Get in the game, kid!

Huh?

Wha?

Huh?

Hey!

Aah! Unh! Oof!

Aah!

Keep up, kid.

Hey!

Orb of toranami!

Shen Gong Wu?

Come on, Omi.

I'm a Grandmaster dragon.

Orb of toranami! Ice!

Ha ha ha!

Aah!

Hyah!

Nice try, but no dice.

Or should I say, "no ice?"

Ha ha ha! Unh.

I haveLost.

Ah, come on, now.

There's still one tact

you haven't tried.

May I have the pebble, please?

Sure.

I am most confused.

If you were just going

to give me the pebble,

why make me go through

the whole showdown?

- 2 reasons.

- It was funny.

True.

To teach you something.

If you're gonna defeat Wuya,

you can't go at her head on.

You'll have to try

something unexpected.

Give me the pebble.

How did you do that?

Omi, you can do a lot of things

when you're a Grandmaster

Xiaolin dragon.

You'll seeSomeday.

Grandmaster, I can

not open this box.

The box will open

when the person who needs

it to open opens it.

I know, this kind of stuff

drives me crazy, too.

It'll work when it needs to.

Trust me.

Very well.

And now, with my

mission complete,

I must return to the future!

Which I have no idea how to do.

What do you mean, you don't

know how to get him back?!

Oops.