06x26 - Soar Losers

[bunniefuu]

- It's finale time
on Total Drama Island!

There are only three campers
left:

Caleb, Julia and Wayne.

Let's see how they got here.

After being voted off first
in season 1,

Caleb came back
in need of alliances,

and one alliance
turned into love.

It looked like they'd both
made it to the finale,

but - yoink! -
Julia had the Immunity Idol.

So it was Caleb's love
who got the boot,

and he's been tasked
to make Julia pay.

Speaking of Julia, this season,
evil made a friend!

Together,
they crushed the competition!

By crushed, I mean cheated.

And when it came down
to one of them going home,
Julia sent her own BFF packing.

That girl's in it to win it.

Last and least, Wayne.

He lost a fight
to an outhouse,

had to be rescued
by a fishing trawler,

and he ate his own socks.

Which of these
impressive finalists
will win the $1 million?!

Today's the day we find out,
so let's get to it...

here on Total...

Drama...

Island!

♪ Hey what's up
I'm here to slay ♪

♪ Don't know why the rest
even bother to stay ♪

♪ I know the game
and I brought the skill ♪

♪ Crushing players' dreams
Yeah you know the drill ♪

♪ I wanna be
I wanna be ♪

♪ I wanna be famous ♪♪

[tuneful whistling]

- I'm gonna make you pay
for sending Priya home!

- If I were you,
I'd just give up now.

- Hey! I would also like
to be part of this fight,

so I am using my angry voice
even though I am not angry!

- Whoa-h*! Save some of this
for the challenge.

Today's the big finale!

- Yeah, today one of you
takes home the ultimate prize!

[fanfare]
- One...

million... dollars!

- Yes!
- It's already mine.

- Nice canoe!

- A million dollars.

There must be a million
charities out there
who need that money.

I'd give them a dollar each.

That sounded a lot better
in my head.

- When I win the money,
I'm gonna produce a podcast
for MK and I,

called Get Over Yourself.

We bring on
huge celebrity guests,

but only talk about ourselves
as they lose...

their minds.

- The winner gets
a million dollars?!

Bro, I totally forgot
about that!

- Before we get going,
I have a little surprise
for you.

[ship's horn blowing]

- That's right.
The eliminated campers are back

to help you
with the next challenge.

[cheering]

- Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

- They'll be divided up
and placed on one of your teams.

[screaming]
[grunting]

[screaming]
- Ugh!

- Do we get to pick
who's on our team,

or did Chris turn it
into some kind of annoying game?
- No game.

The returning campers
got to pick which of you
they like the most.

- So some of you might have
less teammates than others.

- Oh, farts.

- Aw, man, I hope Raj chose me!

- I totally did, bro!

- Whew. I was worried
for a second there.

- Were you?
Anyway, let's meet your teams.

- I'm really touched
you all showed up for me.

- Oh, I don't care if you win.

I'm here to make sure
Julia goes down.

- Same!
She stole my immunity idol!

- Go Team Not Julia!
[cheering]
- Oh, yeah!

- So...
you don't care if I win?
You just want Julia to lose?

- Don't worry, babe.
I'm sure Wayne's team
is the same.

[all]: Wayne! Wayne! Wayne!
Wayne! Wayne!

- Whoo-hoo-hoo! Yaw!

[crickets chirping]

- Okay...

- This is a three-part
challenge.

Part 1: Mother of Wagons.

All you gotta do
is pull your team wagon
to the top of that hill.

[birds chirping]

- No problem, coach!

- Not that hill. That hill.

[thundering]
- Aw.

- That's where you'll start
part 2:

The Dropdown of Comeuppance.

A scary tightrope walk
over a very deep gorge.

Fall into the water below
and you'll have to return
to the top and try again.

[gulping]
- Once you do reach
the other side,

you run to the top
of the mountain

for the third and final part
of the challenge:

The Gliding Fright!

- Simply glide your way
to the finish line
at the Dock of Shame.

First one to arrive
is our champion.
[screaming]

- Easy-peasy.

Caleb, Wayne, Julia,

grab a wagon and get ready
to pull your team up that hill.

- Wait. Our teams help us
pull the wagons, right?
- Wrong!

They must stay in the wagon
while you pull them.

- Bummer.
- Oh, c'mon!

- It kinda makes it feel
like having friends
is a disadvantage.

- 100% true.

- Well... this won't be easy.

- It's a wagon. It has wheels.
Focus!

- Did you see the look
on their faces?

- That's what ya get
for being popular.
- Um, no. I'm popular.

- Oh, heh-heh, yeah...

Clearly.

- One last thing.
There'll be distractions
along the path.

Try to ignore them. Ready...

set...
[shoulders cracking]

...pull!!
[horn blaring]

[cheering]
- Go!

- Julia takes an early lead!

Never-skip-leg-day Caleb
struggles in second place,
and Wayne is...

digging himself a grave.

- Chris wasn't kidding
about the distractions.
Pizza, ice cream...

Whoa! Are those all the phones
Chris took from you?!

- Where?! What?! No, no.

We need to keep moving!

- Are you sure?
You haven't checked social media
in days.

- Not helping.

- Well, I'm not gonna help you
the whole time.
That'd be weird.

- You are doing so great,
but you know
what'd be even better?

- If I was in first place?

- Yes! Aw.
We are such a good team.

- Uh-huh. We really are.

- So can you go faster?

[groaning and screaming]
- Hold up.

No moving unless your whole team
is in the wagon.

- What?! Who're we missin'?

- I dunno.
- Mm!

Aw, dudes. Aw, they got pizza!

- Zee,
we are here to help Way...

- Pizza party!!!

- Wayne is gonna lose.

- Mush! Go, donkey!

[braying]

- If that's supposed
to be motivating,
it's not working.

- Ugh. Lighten up, Eeyore.
We're here.

- Welcome Julia. You've reached
the second challenge:

The Dropdown of Comeuppance!
And just for fun...

we've added several deadly
creatures to the water below.

Even one that can't swim.

- Brutal!
[laughing]

- And to help you fall
into that water,

opposing teams go up there
and try to knock you off
the wire

with these T-shirt cannons!

- But the other teams
aren't here yet,
so now's a good time to cross.

[MK]: C'mon, Julia,
you've got this!

- Shhh! I'm concentrating!

- Excuse me.

Ugh. Got chilly all of a sudden.

- Chris said
I couldn't be on a team,

because I "don't play well
with others."

That hurt. Because I still have
so much pain to give.

Hi.

- Gah! I mean, uh, hi.
- Oh!

So pretty.

Can I hold it?

- Uh... okay, but don't--
[Lauren giggling]

[screaming]

Sure, in hindsight,
it was clearly a bad idea,

but in the moment - heh -
also a bad idea.

- Team Caleb,
welcome to the second challenge.

- Julia was just blasted off
the wire with a T-shirt cannon.

Grab yourselves one
and head up onto the ledge.

- Yes!
- Don't mind if I do!

- Hey, a friendly tip?
Why not catch your breath
at the finish line?

Come on, Caleb, get out there!

- I don't know if you noticed,
but I'm a little top-heavy.

- Go, Caleb!

- Can I, uh, get my cannon
for a quick sec?
- Let's see.

Can she?

Oh, boo. Cannon says no.

- Okay...

- You can do it, babe!

- Whoa...!
- Caleb!

Whatever you do,
don't look down.

- I'm not.

- Good,
'cause that is one long drop.

- Not helping!

- I walked a tightrope
in a movie once.
- Any tips?

- Nah, just sayin'.
- Well, how is that helpful?

- If you saw my bank account,
you wouldn't be asking.

- What?! Whoa-oh...

[screaming]

[growling]

Easy, now.
I'm just passing by.

[Chris]: Caleb's in deep water,
but Julia's out
and running to the top!

- Takin' it back!
- Hey! Whoa-oh!

[hissing]
[creatures whimpering]

[Chris]: With a lucky break,
Caleb's out of the water.

Oh, and before we forget,
let's check on Wayne.

- It seems Wayne is no longer
at the pizza bar.

- Yeah,
but now he's been scooped up
by the ice cream bar.

Tough break.

- It's amazing
he made it this far.

And I'm not even talkin'
about the show.

- We gotta get him back
in the game.
- On it!

Wayner, we gotta move!
Cause we got... Hey!

They got strawberry!

- Some athletes are totally lost
without a coach.

Wayne, Raj, get in the zone!
Pucks to the net!

Give 'er 110%! Go, Snow Owls!

[both]: Hoot! Hoot!

- Isn't he great?

- We're turning this team around

[Chris]: And Julia's back
on the wire!
I wonder how that's gonna go.

- Whoa! Oh! Ooh.
[sighing]

- Does Julia deserve
to get blasted off the wire?
Yes.

Am I just gonna let it happen?
No. Buckle up for anarchy!

[screaming]
[both]: Hey!

[exclaiming]
- This couldn't get
any more amazing!

[grunting and groaning]
I stand corrected.

[screaming]

[coughing]

- Oh, crud. Not you again.

Ah! Hey!
[gasping]
[exclamations]

- Oh, boy.
- Can we even show this on TV?

- My hair. You gave me...
a mullet!

[echoing]

[sobbing]
- Hey, I like it.

Business up front,
party in the back.

It's the best of both worlds.
[flies buzzing]

Or the worst.

[wailing]

[Chris]: Uh-oh.
That horrible new haircut seems
to have given Julia a power-up.

- Slow and steady, Caleb.

Slow and--
[growling]

- Just get across!
Millie and I will take care
of Julia!

[growling]
- Ah!

I'm hit!
- Okay.

I'll take care of Julia!

- Ahem.

[growling]
[exclamations]

- Keep your eye on the prize!
Believe in miracles!

Don't stop
till you reach the top!

- But we are at the top.

- Oh. Alright, you can stop.

[grunting]
- I'll get him to the wire.

You guys stop Caleb and Julia.

[exclamations]

- Open fire...!!!

[both grunting]
[Caleb screaming]

[gasping]

[Chris]: And Julia makes it out!

[all]: Aw...

- Yeah, girl!

- Ah! Ow! Like, why?

- I dunno. You were there.

- Hard to argue that.
I was there.

Man, what was I thinking?

- Julia, welcome to the third
and final stage
of the challenge:

The Gliding Fright!

- Whatever!
Where are the gliders?

- No gliders. Just put on one
of those flying squirrel suits,

jump off the mountain,

and ideally sail safely
to the Dock of Shame.

- Uh, ideally?

If I don't survive, I want
my entire clothing collection

to go to anyone
but my sister Meghan.

She looks hideous
in everything.

- And in a shocking comeback,
Wayne is right on her tail!

- We should take him out
to help Caleb.

- But... it's Wayne.

- But... we're on Caleb's team!

- But it's Wayne.

- Hey, Wayner!

Free T-shirts!

[grunting and screaming]
- That'll work.

[Raj]: And one for your mom!
[grunting]

- What are you doing?
He's trying to win
a million dollars.

He doesn't care about a shirt!
[Wayne]: Sweet swag!

Thanks, Rajie!

- Well, guess who was wrong...?

- Before you start judging,
just remember that there are
different kinds of smart.

And I'm sure Raj is one of them.

[Priya]: Go, Caleb, go!

- Don't even think about it!

[grunting]
- Yes!

Priya, did you see that?!

- We'll celebrate
after you crush Julia! Go!

- Okay, on three!

One, two, three!

[grunting]
Three! Again.

Another three!
Argh! Three, three, three!

Three, three, three!
[screaming]

How do I even know
these flying rodent suits
will work?

This is Chris
we're talking about.

- Aw. You waited for me.

- It's now or never.

You'll have to catch me first!
[screaming]

[both screaming]

Fly! Fly...!

- Don't flap! Just glide!

Well, I wasn't gonna let her
fall to her death.
Don't tell Priya I said that.

[gasping]
Priya's gonna see this.
Sorry I'm a good person.

- Huh. This is kinda cool.

- Yeah, it is.

- How about we play it clean?
First one to the finish line
wins.

- That'd be great.
I mean, there's no reason
for this to be--

[screaming]
Ugh! What? Why...?!

- Ah, he'll never learn.

- Oh, it's like that?!

Okay. Okay!

[panting]

- I'm sure
he'll make it this time.
Seven is a lucky number.

- Try not falling this time!

- Was that actual advice?
[laughing]
- Yeah.

Falling is bad.

[grunting]
- Wayne, use this for balance!

- Thanks, Bowie.
I've got a better idea.

With this pole, I'm gonna skip
the whole balance-wire thing
and just jump it!

- Ah, smart.
- Not smart!

The gorge is too wide.
A jump that long
would be a new world record!

- Records get broken
all the time.

- So do bones!
- Ugh. And candy canes.

I hate that.
You put 'em in your pocket
and by the time you--

- What are you talking about?
- Here I go!!
- Yes!

[screaming]

Yes! Yes!

Yes...! Oh.

No.
[screaming]

[screaming]

Well, he's definitely across.

- Yeah... definitely.

- Looks like this challenge
is down to Caleb and Julia!

I specifically asked
for a combat helicopter.

- Mm. The salesmen said
these are more romantic.

- I really thought you couldn't
make this any weirder.
Then you did.

[grunting]

[exclamations]
- How you like me now?

Stay down!
[gasping]

The landing zone!

- I see one of them.

- Please don't let it be Julia.

- It's Julia.

[all groaning]

- Come on, I said please!
- Yes!

When Julia wins,
she'll rub it in my face.

But since I helped her win,
I get to rub it in her face!

[laughing]
It's what friends do.

- Ha! No Caleb in sight
means an easy win
for yours truly.

[laughing]
Oh!
[both screaming]

[exclamations]

[groaning]
- Whoa!

Caleb just rammed her
and they crashed
through the trees!

[singsong]: Caleb and Julia
crashing through a tree.

Whack, crack, thud, pain!
Ouchie, ouchie.

- Ow. Why would you do that?

You're, like,
three times my weight.

Oh! Ah!
I think I'm really hurt.

- I didn't mean to.
Where does it hurt?
Can you walk?

[growling]
Ow!

Oh, it's like that?!

- Since Julia and Caleb
have crash-landed,

I guess it'll be a foot race
to see which one of them wins
$1 million.

- There's a new dot
on the radar!

There's something over there!
[fanfare]

- Whoo! Yeah...!

- Whoa! It's Wayne!

[all gasping]
- What?!
- Yeah, buddy!

- I landed right on top
of the mountain
where the flyin' suits were!

Yeah, I got a horseshoe
up my butt.

'Cause I got kicked by a horse,

and the doctors are too scared
to remove it
since it's touching my brain.

- Wayne is back in the race!

- Caleb?! Hurry!

- Come on, Wayner! Come on!

- Come on, Julia,
you've got this!

[Chris]: Who will it be?

It all comes down to this.

- I'm too close to let this slip
through my fingers!
I'm winning it!

- I'm already pretty and famous.

If I add rich...
[laughing]
...I'll be a triple threat.

- I'm not moving fast enough!

Desperate times
call for bad ideas!

- That's not good.
Wayne is tucked tighter
than Fort Knox.

- Yeah! Wayner is coming in hot.

- He's gonna get really hurt
unless he spreads out those
wings before reaching the dock!

- Yeah...
he's not gonna do that.

[panting and groaning]
[teeth chattering]
[grunting]

[exclamations]
[grunting]

[bionic sounds]

[groaning]

- Wayne wins!!!

- Whoo!
- Whoo-hoo!
- Yes!

- Bummer.

- I got ya, buddy. I got ya.

- I was so close.

Now Priya's gonna wonder
if I'm even good enough
to be her boyfriend.

- Caleb!
- Priya!

I'm sorry.
I tried my best, but I just--

Ah. Well,
now it feels like I won.

- Well, ya didn't.

I cheated, lied,
manipulated people.

How did I not win?

- It's a mystery.

- Not only did I play fair
and win,
it was a total fluke!

[all]: Wayne! Wayne! Wayne!

- Welcome to the final campfire.

This time, it's not about
sending someone home.

It's about sending
someone home rich.

And that person is--

- Dude,
do we still get marshmallows?

- Way to ruin
a really big moment.

- Normally,
there are marshmallows.

- Fine. Here ya go.
- Ah!

- Wayne, you survived fights
with attack dogs,

mascots and an outhouse.

And now you are the winner
of Total Drama Island

and $1 million!

- Can I keep the canoe?!

- Sure...
- Any plans for the money?

- Ah, Wayner is gonna buy
a new bus for the hockey team!

And put money aside for college.

- Maybe just buy two buses.

- That sounds like an insult.

But also... a great idea!

- Two buses?!
- We'll get everywhere
twice as fast!

[laughter]
[both]: Hoot! Hoot!

[laughter]

[both hooting]

[exclamations]

- There you have it.
Another wonderful season
filled with pain and misery.

But no matter how hard we try,

it always ends
with someone happy.

Well, hopefully,
we can change that
on the next season of...

Total... Drama...

Island!