03x15 - Teen Lisa

[bunniefuu]

- Out of our league, Gar.
- Not today.

My horoscope says Pluto's in retrograde.

"Be fearless. Make points with
member of the opposite sex.

Cross social boundaries."
I'm moving in.

The star don't lie.

You're not an aquarius.

Hey, Brenda. Remember me?

- Gary Wallace from Earth Science?
- Oh.

Yeah, sure. Hi.

I was wondering if you're
not doing anything

this weekend maybe you'd
like to do something with me.

With you? Like a date?

Yeah, but we don't have to
call it that if it's a problem.

Oh, my God. That's so cute.

- What?
- That you would actually would...

Hey, guys. Larry Wallace
just asked me on a date.

For real.

So much for the horoscope.
Looks like uranus is in retrograde.

High school bites.

Once you're branded a geek,
you're powerless to change it

no matter how cool you are.

Two points.

- Be thankful you're a genie.
- You got it made.

Being a genie isn't such
a piece ocake either.

[ snickers ]

What? You think it's easy?

You guys'll be teenagers
the next three years

but I'm genie until the end of time.

I'd take an eternity of magic
wishes over another semester

of squat thrusts in P.E.

- Then let's trade.
Trade what?

You guys can be genies
and I'll be a teenager.

- Are you serious?
- Put up or shut up.

First thing, we have to find someone
really normal for you to look like.

Why can't I be the
teenage verison of me?

A supermodel? Uh-uh.

You have to suffer like a true teenager.

Okay. Here's what we'll do.

We'll take Georgia Delivecchio's
nose Sally Morrison's braces

Fred Marrone's hair and
Gerty Fromp's body.

Let's at least give her a fighting chance.

No. I'll take Gerty's body.

I don't need good looks to be popular.

I can make friends with
my sparkling personality.

She hasn't got a clue.

Welcome to the Girl God Forget.

How you feel?

Nervous, but happy.

Like I want to do all kinds of things
at once but I don't know what.

Am I talking too much?
I'm talking way too much.

Shut up, Lisa. Shut up.

- So, when do we get that magic feeling?
- Right.

I'm such a spaz. I completely forgot.

Okay. Ready?

[ grunts ]

[ grunts ]

Oh.

So that's it? We're genies?

Uh-huh. Yeah.

But you have to think
of the same thing

at the same time or you might die.

- Is my nose shiny?
- Okay.

Let's start small. A snack.

- I'm thinking Pizza Pocke.
- Sounds good to me.

- Not a bad first zap.
- Yeah. Get real.

- That sucked.
- Hot! Hot cheese!

Hot cheese!

[ both moaning ]

Hi. I'm Lisa.

Hi.

Hello.

Hey, nice boots.

Morning, everyone.

Settle down, please,
and let's get to work.

Pop quiz.

This is my first pop quiz.
Ooh. Big whoop.

I hope you've all boned up on
your marsupial classifications.

Of a group of lower mammals
that lacks a placenta

- and has an external abdominal pouch.
- Very good.

Including kangaroos.

Well, let's save it for the test.

- Could someone help me hand these out?
- I will.

There you go.

One for you.

One for you.

Let me guess. You're new.

One for you.

Hi. One for you.

One for you.

- You're new.
- New?

No. Yes.

Yes, I'm new. Sorry.

Don't apologize. I'm Lyle.

I like that name. Lyle. Lyle. Lyle.

Okay, you said his name
like a thousand times.

- Now stop it. God.
- And you are?

I'm... new.

Who's the new chick?

I don't know, but she's
got the wrong idea

if she makes time with my boyfriend.

I am Zarnak, powerful and all-knowing.

I simply think of what
I desire and it appears

right in front of me like magic.
I think I'd like a snow cone.

Before we're crushed by two tons
of cherry ice listen for a minute.

Speak, o pecky one.

We have to think of the exact
same thing at the exact same time.

Okay, okay.

Now I'm thinking of Drew Barryone
love-crazed and dipped in honey.

Already there. Let's do it.

- What the hell?
- Whoops.

- What are you thinking?
- I was thinking of Drew Barryone

which made me think of
Lional Barryone which made me

think of the training sequences
in Rocky III.

Then, you know, Rocky To Bullwinkle.

- Bullwinkle To Antlers.
- Let's try again.

I'm thinking of Daisy Fuentes
wearing nothing but a smile.

Ready and go.

I don't even want to know how
you got from Daisy Fuentes to this.

[ groans ]

Okay. Focus.

- Chet wearing a tutu.
- Got it.

He'll never know what hit him.

I got distracted.

Oh. Hi, guys.
Boy, am I happy to see you.

I really am. Want to
dig around in the little X?

Chew up the remote? Huh?

Hear the can opener?

Smells like alp. Boy, I love that stuff.

I could just eat it all up.

[ howling ]

Well, that shouldn't cause
too much commotion.

Ooh. Nasty one.

Here. Use my cover-up.

Thanks. I'd die if I had to

walk around all day with
this volcano on my forehead.

Yeah, it is pretty huge.

Here. Let me help you with that.

So, what was your name again?

I'm Lisa. You guys are,
like, so nice to do this.

No prob. So, I saw you
checking out Lyle Foster in bio.

- Yeah, Isn't he the cutest?
- He seems so nice.

Want little advice? Don't bother.

I mean, you're sweet in
a muppet kind of way

but he's way out of your league.

- Way.
- So, for your own good, back off.

- We're just trying to help.
- Thanks.

See you at lunch.

Maybe we could study to... gether.

What are you doing?
Are those antlers?

- Did you screw up?
- No.

They make my face look thinner
and they're great for laundry day.

- Where's Wyatt?
- He's coming.

- What happened to you?
- My new friends

Brenda and Heather
helped me with my makeup.

Like it?

Why did they do this?
I thought they were my friends.

They're not.

Lisa, you got to learn
to watch your back.

High school's a w*r zone.
Trust no one.

- I just want to fit in.
- I know.

That's what we all want.

You guys at least having fun being genies?

Oh... sure.

It's a little shaky but
we're getting the hang of it.

[ screaming ]

Oh. Hi, Lis. How it's going?

- What happened to you?
- I meant to do this.

It makes it easier to...

Eat peanuts without using
your hands or feet.

It's fun in the bath too.
So, how's life as a teenager?

Lisa made new friends...
with Brenda and Heather.

Yikes. The gruesome twosome.

Oh, they're nice.
We're going to be friends.

I know it. Really.

Really, really good friends.

Man. She's pretty upset.

It's tough.

Lisa's going through
that awkward stage.

Her emotions, her feelings
her whole body's going

through all kinds of changes.

But she's got to learn to
accept herself as she is for

who this before others will accept her.

Tell me that wasn't toliet water.

One good thing about the magic--
The spells don't last.

I miss the antlers.
Gave you that outdoorsy look.

Ah, I got tired of walking
through doors sideways.

How was school?

You make it through
the rest of the day okay?

Everyone's going to this party
at Brenda Tomlinson's house

this Saturday. Everyone except me.

I'm, like, the biggest loser in school.

No, you're not. And who
cares about Brenda's party?

Lyle Boster will be there.
I don't care

if Brenda and Heather said
I should stay away from him.

I think he likes me but I don't know.

I'm probably wrong.
But if he does...

Are we this pathetic?

I hope not.

Don't worry. We can help you.

We're your genies, remember?

No.
I said I could make it without magic.

One bad day is not going to make
me hang up my training bra.

There she is.

Poor thing. If anyone ever
needed magic, it's her.

[ giggling ]

We got to be subtle.
She can't know we're helping.

Before we zap her a date with
Lyle we better run one last test.

- I'm thinking of a peanut.
- A peanut.

Okay, got it.

Voila.

Looks like we're ready.

Maybe we should but Lyle some
flowers and sign Lisa's name.

That sounds good. You got any cash?

Oh. Thank you... Lyle.

I was wondering if you might like
to go to Brenda's party with me.

- It's a date then?
- Mmm.

Guess what?

- Lyle asked me to Brenda's party.
- He did?

It's my first party.
I'm so excited.

What do I do if Lyle tries to kiss me?

Yeah, like that's going to happen.
Dream on, Lisa.

Could this zit be any bigger?

He's probably going to
look at me and barf.

Oh, no. What am I going to wear?

I got a bad feeling about this.

Why isn't anyone asking the big question?

What's Lyle Foster doing
asking out Lisa?

- Maybe she won him with her personality.
- Personality?

Sure, yah, like, oh, my D.

Something's up.

We've got to go to that party.

Wait!
Lyle, you're so nice to take me

but if you've changed your
mind and you want to go in

without me I'd totally
understand, really, I would, really.

Relax. I invited you.
I want to go with you.

- Really?
- Would I lie?

Come on. We'll have fun, okay?

Hey... welcome.

You two look so cute together.
Lisa, love the dress.

You do? Thanks.

Come on in. Everyone's here.

Have a good time, Lyle.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do.

You are such a b*tch.

Medic!

[ groaning ]

What exactly is the plan here?
We weren't invited.

We're not loser sophomores anymore.
We're juniors now.

These are our peers.

We've filled out, we've
networked we've paid our dues.

This is our time.

Get lost, losers.

Saw that coming. What's plan "B"?

We infiltrate with a little magic.

- I feel like everyone's staring at me.
- They're just jealous.

Don't be so insecure. Look, come here.

You look fine, you see? Okay?

Come on, let's go get some drinks.

- Did you see that?
- I don't get it.

Lyle's being nice to her.
Doesn't make sense.

Look at her.

She... and I mean this
in the nicest way...

A scud.

Scud not, he obviously sees
something in her he likes.

- Are you sticking all over?
- Yeah, and knee deep in backwash.

- Let's go.
- Wait!

- Shh!
- You know, it's so nice to see young love.

- Looks like Lyle's found a girlfriend.
- And she's found the man of her dreams.

I'm so happy for her. Aren't you?

- Completely.
- Something's horribly wrong.

Uh... freshen that for you?

- You just did, but okay.
- Whatever.

Thanks.

GARY: Psst!

Lisa, in here.

What are you doing?

We came to warn you
about Heather and Brenda.

What they said they were
happy for you and Lyle.

Yeah, and you make a really nice couple.

It doesn't sound like much
but trust us--

Something's going now.

Why are you trying to wreck
everything? I was invited

to the coolest party I've snagged
the hottest guys are jealous

because I'm more popular
than you ever were.

Maybe she's right. The entire
school's have a great party

and we're stuck on the wall, watching.

Who says we can't make our own party?

Hey, pass the wine and spread out, guys.

There are two sidest to the table.
Use them!

I gotta say I'm impressed.

That Lisa chick she's got
a great personality.

Yeah, lots of personality.

And who does her hair?
General electric?

Berger, you care too much
what people think fo you.

You're so wrapped up in
appearances you didn't

even notice that she's
smart, senstive and sweet.

Come on, pay up, suckers.

Thank you.
Now, we've had our date.

I can bail now, right?

Not yet. We still have
our little deal, remember?

- You promised a public dumping.
- Yeah.

You have to tell Miss Personality
that the whole date

was a bet in front of everyone.

Harsh!

Come on, I did my part.
Let's call it a night.

Uh-uh.
Are you my boyfriend or not?

Whoo. All right.

Let's get it over with.

- I'd be happy if we never did that again.
- Oh, man!

Lisa was a mercy date.
We got to get to her

before Lyle snaps her heart
like a lovestick twig.

Nope, that can wait.

Here comes Nancy and Shari.

BRENDA: Excuse me.
Can I have everybody's attention!

Hello?! Everyone. Shut up!

Okay, now, before everyone
pairs up and gets nasty

I think Lyle and Lisa
have a little announcement.

- What's going on?
- Come on, Lyle... we're waiting.

Lisa, I've got something to tell you.

Oh, God! This is so embarrassing.

- We have to do something!
- We can't help as cushions.

I got an idea.

Uh... Lisa, I wanted to say
is that...

I... love you I've...
always... loved... you.

You're cool. You're genuine,
honest and nice not like these

two social spiders... or their loser friends.

All they care about is who's
popular and who's going out with who.

- "Whom".
- What?

- It's "whom".
- Why are you saying this?

Because I love you. I always have.

Wait-- we said that already.
We did?

- Oh, that's right.
- "We?"

- Are you okay?
- Look, Lisa,

what I'm trying to say is
that you don't belong here

with this swallow mean and
heartless crowd of popular,

cosmetically enhanced kids.
They'll eat you alive.

- That's why we have to break up.
- But...

Don't you get it? It's too late for me.

I'll never escape
but you've got a chance.

Get out while you still
have your personality.

I will.

You are, like, so cool.

- What's up with you, Foster?
- Oh, I'm not done yet.

I've got one more thing to
say before I leave and that is...

I sleep with a stuffed bunny
I sill wet my bed...

and I'm wearing
my sister's underwear

because it makes me feel pretty.

Who stopped the party?

What?

I think I made a pretty
damned good teenager

and all because of
my sparkling personality.

Told you. You cynics.
You were right.

All it takes to get through
life is self-nfidence

and a good personality.
And a couple genies

- what was that?
- Nothing-- personality, right?

- Here he is.
- Hey, Chet.

It's about time!
I been trapped in here all day.

You ready to go home?

Just... let me finish my lunch first.