01x04 - Back to School

[bunniefuu]

[funky music playing]

Change usually… doesn't come easily.

It comes with resistance.

You ask yourself, "Why?"

"I don't need to change."

[quietly] Yeah, I agree. Are we done?

[Bram] And I have some bad news.

Nowadays, women don't wait around
for some macho dude to swoop in.

Women can take care of themselves.
Believe me.

We have to listen to women's feelings.

And also be truly aware
of our own feelings too.

-To do that, we have to embrace change.
-[Danny chuckles]

And the clearest way to that goal
begins with a look in the mirror.

-Start there.
-I dunno. I look in the mirror enough.

And then you'll be on the path
to becoming a brand-new man overnight!

-[man] All right!
-[indistinct cheers]

Sorry. Next time we get together,
we're watching football.

-Oh God.
-I found the lecture interesting.

-[chuckles]
-Interesting? Get off the soapbox.

Well, we live in a society
where sexism is built in.

-Oh man.
-[Ivo] Women still hit the glass ceiling.

There's work to do. Men have to do it.

[Mike] Know what women should do, Ivo?

Take a sponge to that ceiling

and wipe it so clean,
they can look right through it.

They already have the power.

The only masculine thing we can still do
is cover the check at a restaurant.

Oh, come on. Anouk and I split everything.
It's totally normal.

-Ooh,
-You hear that? He said, "Anouk and I."

Yeah. Well, yeah.
I'm having fun. And we… laugh a lot.

-We share interests.
-Okay.

But… be honest. How's the sex?

Uh… well, I hope to get some momentum
going soon, but it'll work out.

[clears throat]
Merel and I are separating.

Yeah. At least, for the time being.

She said she just needs a little time
to "get things sorted out."

Come on, man. I mean you and Merel,
you guys are solid as a rock.

Yeah, a break can be good for you,
you know?

-Yeah.
-Greg… protect yourself.

I think she's cheating on you.

Sorry. It's true. Yeah.

Such a typical male reaction.

She's having doubts,
and that tells you she's sleeping around?

Well, we know she's not sleeping
with Greg, right?

She's going through menopause.

-Think so?
-Yeah.

[Greg sighs]

Hey. Really sorry about the gala.
Mike made it… so embarrassing for me.

No. That's… not your fault.

[chuckles] But I'd consider leaving Mike
at home next time, if I were you.

And ask yourself if you want
to continue working with him.

But I can't just let him go like that.
His self-esteem would take a huge dive,

It would shatter his ego.

Well, are you a titan of industry
or an NGO?

Look, Good Life with Stevie is a brand
with a positive narrative.

And, you know,
we did a lot of work to create that.

But he has a sweet side too. I swear.

And he's really trying.

He's even taking a course
with his friends.

Oh, really? That's nice.

-Do you know what, Stevie?
-Mm-hmm?

A man has to be strong to be
with a successful woman like yourself.

It takes real courage.

Not everyone has that.

[jazzy music playing]

[Ivo] Hey.

-What're you doing?
-I need closet space, Dad.

[Ivo] My CD collection!

Jesus, Tess, there are
a lot of rare items I put in there.

Yeah. Because most of it's just
decades-old garbage no one wants.

You hold on to things
you don't need for way too long, Dad.

Like Mom, right?

But! Luckily,
I have a brand-new date for you.

Tess, I'm done with that.

-Are you sure?
-Yes.

Solange is a part-time fashion model.

She loves adventure
and isn't looking for anything long-term.

Uh, no.

Tess, Anouk and I
are really hitting it off, and I…

I just wanna see where that goes.

Okay, never mind.
But I do have a date tonight.

Would you mind taking these boxes out?

Your math test is tomorrow, right?

-Why are you bringing that up?
-You're not doing well in math.

So it's better if you stay home
and do problems to get your grades up.

Ugh! I would've stayed at Mom's
if I knew you were gonna be like this!

[cell phone vibrating]

Oh great. Speak of the devil.

What did you call me?

Oh no. Uh, what? Nah, uh… Hi, Dé. Um…

-What's up?
-Um, are you around?

Uh, yeah. Why?

[shop bell chimes]

Welcome. Can I help you?

Well… just looking for a nice set.

-May I ask what it's for?
-For my girlfriend.

No, I meant, what's the occasion?

Is there anything you're celebrating?

Activewear, or does it need
to match with something?

-We're in a bit of a rough patch.
-So bringing back the excitement?

No… actually, the routine.

-Oh? [chuckles]
-Yeah. My girlfriend, she, uh…

She wants an open relationship.
And it's tricky, I guess.

We had a fight about it,
and now I want to make it up to her.

Sure. I'll have a look for you, okay?

[quietly] How about white? No. Let's try…

Here. What do you think?
Think it might fit her?

Yeah, it might.

You know what? I can help you.

Come.

[quirky music playing]

And?

Yeah, that's good. That's about right.

-Yeah?
-Yes.

[grunts]

[whimsical music peaks, fades]

Nice of you to squeeze me in
between all the whoring around,

wild nights, and sex parties.

-I didn't have a date. I was at a course.
-A course? What kind of course?

Trying to become less of a… macho man.
Less aggressive.

[chuckles] Yeah?

-Less macho than now? [laughs]
-[chuckles slightly]

All right, go ahead.
What's, uh… what's so important?

Well, I wanted to talk to you
about the alimony, all right?

Oh. Right, I didn't want to bring it up,
but… but… it is a little strange

that I still have to pay it.

You owe more now.

Huh? Tess… lives with me now.
Why would the alimony increase?

That's well and good, but as long
as Tess officially lives with me,

you're gonna have to pony up. I'm sorry.

And I can't pay the mortgage on my own.

So the dentist is…

Oh, is it over? Did you get dumped?

-It was completely mutual.
-Really?

That's a real shame.

[Dé sighs]

I thought he was a great guy.

Are you still on Tinder?

No. I have something…

someone… semi-permanent, so to speak.

Good. I'd appreciate it
if you could start paying more soon, okay?

We could do it through Pam,

but that would end up being
more expensive, right? Hmm?

[tense music plays]

[tense music fades]

[rhythmic music playing]

I… It's just gone. The hope.

We really don't find
each other attractive.

Speak for yourself.

[Merel] Greg, be honest.

You need testosterone injections
just to be able to make love, don't you?

Yeah. At least you know
I'm making an effort.

I even enrolled
in a course on toxic masculinity.

Yeah, but that doesn't help me at all.
I don't have a problem with men.

But she does with me.

Could it just be menopause? Is that…?

Greg, it's not menopause.
I'm 42 years old.

You know, but it could be.

Some women start very early, you know?

And let me tell you,
it can be extremely drastic.

Mood swings, crying.

Some women cry for days.
And then suddenly, you're super irritated!

No, I don't think it's…

Hair just breaks out all over,
then there's bleeding, sweating, snoring.

-You have been sweaty at night.
-Greg, I'm not going through--

But your wife's current condition
doesn't give you a free pass

to treat all menopausal women
like they belong in a padded cell, okay?

Do you know how sexist that is?
To be so dismissive?

"Oh, there she goes again.
The lunatic going through menopause."

It's not menopause. End of discussion.

I need a minute, okay?
Just to sort through some…

Just to figure things out.
That's it. That's all.

And the kids?
How did they react to the news?

-We still have to tell the kids.
-You still have to tell them.

-Well, we have to do it together.
-But I didn't ask for this.

A NEST HERE
A NEST THERE

You should really consider
reading this to them.

It's all about these two birds
who are deciding

to fly their separate ways

but still continue
to look after the nest together.

[Greg sobs]

[sniffles]

It's 32.50.

-Oh, so you wrote it yourself?
-[therapist] Yeah.

[under breath] Yeah.

[upbeat music playing]

[Danny] Holy crap.

You're never gonna believe
what just happened to me.

I went to get you lingerie to apologize.

-Okay…
-I went into this nice shop.

And this saleswoman…
She was stunning. A complete knockout.

And, and… I told her all about…
about our argument,

and… she said,
"I'll show you the lingerie."

She put on this sexy outfit.
Then she grabbed onto me. And… vrrt!

[laughs]

-Daan.
-Yeah?

-You really think I'd believe that story?
-Uh…

No, it's real, I swear!

-Oh yeah?
-Yeah.

-Where's my lingerie, then?
-Where…

Oh, sh*t.

-Can't believe I left it in the store.
-Oh, wait. That is convincing.

-[sniffing]
-Hmm?

-Oh!
-Uh…

Yeah, you actually still smell like her.

-Oh, I'm so proud of you.
-Yeah?

Oh, Danny, I knew you could do it!

Yeah, I know. Look, it does take a while.

But I can do this.

-That's right!
-Yeah!

-Okay, tell me everything.
-Right. I got in there…

-[sports announcer speaking on TV]
-[Mike] Ugh, Jesus.

[crowd cheering]

-[Mike] Come on!
-Hey, honey.

Oh hey, sweetie. Could you please…

Hey. Goal's over there, idiot.

Christ. Can't you…

[volume decreases]

Hey. I wanna hear about the course.

-Huh?
-About being a new man.

With you and the guys. How is it?

Oh. Uh, very interesting.
Super interesting.

It's just been… uh, yeah.
A really great course.

I'm really impressed
that you're working on yourself like this.

Thank you.

When a man allows himself
to be vulnerable, it's real courage.

That is almost exactly
what Bram was saying.

[announcer] The Netherlands bearing down.
Just look at that agility on Noa Lang.

[Mike] God! sh**t! sh**t!
Ugh! Come on! Learn how to kick!

[announcer] They really squandered
that one.

[calming piano music playing]

[Danny] Sweetheart, now
that I've opened up to you like this,

I've been thinking
that you'd like to hear a little bit

about my fantasies, what turns me on.

We're not watching football tonight, Daan.

That's not… [laughs]
No, come on. I've just been thinking

that… a threesome is interesting.

Mm. Uh, wait.
Are you saying you… might want that?

Oh, it was just a… a…
uh… a little uh, you know…

An idea that has very, very occasionally,
uh… come to mind, that's all.

But, you know… for me,

it's important that you are totally
on board, know what I mean?

How do you see that going?

I guess, well… you and the other woman
are on the bed, and I just like--

Danny! I meant, who would it be?

I guess just… uh, a girl. [chuckles]

Okay, just never mind.
Let's, uh… It was just an idea. Yeah.

I, uh… I, uh…

You like doing things together,

and I'm trying to support you,
you know? Yeah.

-Mind if I think about it a little?
-Yeah. Yeah, of course.

-Really?
-Do it.

-Okay.
-Mm.

-[indistinct chatter on TV]
-[Pam sighs]

[grunts]

-[loud bang on TV]
-[gasps]

[laughs]

DRIVING SCHOOL MEREL CITY

"Okay. Once upon a time,
there were four little birds."

"A momma bird."

"I'm a momma bird."

"And a papa bird too."

"Hello. It's me,
the strong yet sensitive Papa Bird.

"And all the females want to be with me."

"Most of the females."

[girl] I like Dad's voice better.

-"And a pretty girl bird."
-[girl] Hey, that's me!

-Yeah.
-[laughs]

And… a tough, energetic boy bird.

Jason. Jason. Come on. No.
Time to put the iPad away.

Now. Come on. Join in.

-[girl] Hey, Dad?
-Huh?

Did you get cancer?

-What did you say?
-Sweetie, what made you think I'm sick?

[girl] Well, Liv's parents sat her down
to tell her a story like this once.

Then her mom went bald
and got really sick.

-Oh.
-No, sweetheart. I am not sick, all right?

But you are bald, though.

"Then one day, suddenly, the papa bird
and momma bird had… a bad argument."

"I still love you, honey,
and I always will," said Papa Bird.

"I love you too,
but not as much as in the beginning."

"So I think I'm gonna live
in another tree for a little while."

"But it might get sad,
lonely, and cold in that other tree."

"And kinda scary."

-Are you improvising right now?
-No.

-[tablet chimes]
-[boy] Who is Ramon?

"If you were here,
I'd definitely make you break a sweat."

What? Uh… What? Is this…

Who is this?

[Merel] Well, that's…

You gotta be kidding.

[gloomy music playing]

Uh, Greg, it's…

Definitely not menopause.

Damn it.

Hey, wait a second, Greg!

-Can you give me back the iPad?
-No!

[upbeat music playing]

Well…

-I had an amazing night.
-Yeah? I'd love to come up for a bit.

Oh, God, that sounds great, but…
I have to get up super early tomorrow.

Tomorrow? It shouldn't take that long.

[both chuckle]

See ya later.

[chuckles]

[sighs] Ah, Jesus Christ.

[man] Painful.

Almost got lucky, but then
you were c*ck-blocked into oblivion.

[chuckles]

Hey, do you have a few extra euros
to help me get a place I can sleep?

So you can sleep? Mmm.

Oh.

Gee, thanks.

[energetic music playing]

A threesome? A little trio!

-Oh man. C'mon, that's the jackpot!
-Well…

But I thought you weren't into
the "open" thing.

Ah, yeah, I guess it's sorta like Bram
would say, right?

"Every now and then,
your girlfriend's worth listening to."

-[laughing]
-God.

Ah, I'm not that interested, honestly.

You gonna give us the sexism lecture?

No. Nothing like that.

It just doesn't seem
all that relaxing to me. Uh…

What if you couldn't get it up?
Like… 'cause of the pressure.

Or the strain.

Then there's the condoms.
That's tricky, right?

What? One for Pam, one for the guest?

-Switch out?
-You don't want anyone to catch anything.

Yeah, he's right.
It's a lot of work, Daan.

-You might get neglected.
-Oh.

Yeah. 'Cause they might just be interested
in each other, and you might get snubbed.

Yeah. It's true.
Women don't need us anymore.

They can take care of themselves.

Come on,
haven't you seen those girl-on-girl films?

Ah, f*ck off. That's all a crock of sh*t.

It'll be all right, dude.

They're ours. All women need men.

Okay? That is… never gonna change.

Yeah, except for Merel.

-Daan, you were right.
-What?

-There's someone else.
-No.

Ramon. A guy from the gym, of course.
Fifteen years younger.

-[Danny] Fifteen years younger?
-That's like criminal.

-Uh… Stevie's a lot younger than you too.
-Oh, yeah.

-What a b*tch! With her trainer.
-I know!

I say we just beat this guy up, all right?

I'm serious, we'll go to the gym
and find this Ramon dude.

A… And hit him. Like ten times.
For every time he banged your wife.

How many times did they actually go at it?

[Greg] I really don't want to know, man.

I actually think it's a good idea.

What? We're taking a course
about looking inward

and becoming all vulnerable,
and you're staging an ambush.

-Yeah.
-Yeah.

Yeah. And we're about to show this tool
how vulnerable he really is.

Yeah, you're coming.

Yeah. But I don't wanna fight.

[purposeful music playing]

[music fades]

How does a photo just appear on an iPad?

Well, it's via iCloud.

All of your data
is constantly synchronizing.

Oh! This is why I've always
wanted to sue Apple.

This is on you.

What? You said it happened
'cause of the iCloud.

Why does it have to be connected?
There's no privacy.

I could've sworn that's ill*gal.

Hmm. Governments love protecting
women who've been cheating, yep.

[chuckles] Look, I think you…
just should've been honest.

-This would've been so much easier.
-Ugh.

-Honesty is the best policy.
-Okay, Grandma.

Hey, luckily Greg is rational.
He won't do anything crazy.

[tires screeching]

Okay, boys. Let's go.

-I work for the police, okay?
-Give it to me.

-It's your day off, though. Come on.
-Okay.

-Okay. Okay.
-Guys.

Look, there are tons
of cameras everywhere.

Ah. sh*t. That's just what I need.

To get fired, put in jail, and cheated on.

-How's that for a new man?
-But… But…

Do we know for sure
that it's all his fault?

Merel could have just said no, right?

Yeah, does he know she's not single?

-Uh… well…
-What?

Grow a pair!
He f*cked around with our friend's wife.

We have to do this!

-Wait! That's him!
-What? Sorry, which one…

-That's him?
-Yeah, I think so.

That one.

But is that him? Well, is it!?

I don't really know.
I never seen him with his clothes on.

-[Danny] Come on. Let's go!
-Just wait, wait, wait.

-Hey. Hey!
-Hello.

-What's good?
-Hey.

-[sighs]
-Wait. Well, now he's gone!

f*ck.

So the lucky b*stard got away, huh?

-Oh, now you're tough?
-[Mike] For the love of God.

-Was it him or not?
-Yeah, it was him.

-Oh, so it was him?
-Dummy.

-You idiot.
-Yeah.

'Cause otherwise, we would've--

-Yeah. I'm sure you would've.
-Whoa. Whoa. Yeah, do it.

[energetic music playing]

So, two chickpea and sage risottos

and one chicken breast
with a pinch of rosemary.

-And uh… are we still thirsty here?
-Yeah.

Yeah? [chuckles]

-I think I found someone.
-Huh?

-For what?
-For our little trio. There.

What? No, not here.

-[Pam] Come on. Take a look.
-All right.

-Here, look. Don't you think she's hot?
-Yeah, no, she's good-looking.

Yeah.

I was just thinking,
we don't have to do this.

-Or this girl?
-[Danny] No.

[Pam] She might be better.
Don't you think?

Well, honestly, I have no idea
what your type is.

[Pam] Damn, you can tell
she works out, can't you? Wow.

Wow. Yeah. Are you sure you wanna do this?

Well, yeah, assuming she's interested.

-[phone chimes]
-[gasps]

-She wants a photo of us.
-[sighs] All right.

[snaps photo]

Hey, you have to smile, okay?

Now it looks like we're pissed about this.

-[sighs] Okay.
-[snaps photo]

-Oh f*ck. Damn.
-This whole thing's getting me really hot.

-Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
-Yeah.

[both moaning]

Seriously?

Uh, just getting this for a customer.

-Don't forget about table two, all right?
-Yeah, I won't. Got it.

[rock music playing]

My CD collection.
Many, many years in the making.

It pains me to get rid of them, but yeah.

The new generation
just doesn't see the value here.

Luckily, there are still places
that appreciate a goldmine like this.

Oh. Yeah.

Uh-huh. Eighty euros.

What? What? You out of your mind, sir?

There are some real gems in here.
Here, uh, Nevermind.

Plus, it's been autographed by a roadie.

Uh, Jamiroquai.
Bonus instrumental track included.

-Look. I've already got five of those.
-Jeez.

Eighty euros.

No.

-[quirky music playing]
-[huffs]

Hey, sweetie. Keys. Did you dri… Oh there.

Are you leaving?

Yeah. Yeah, the course.

-Oh, yeah.
-Unless you need me, of course.

I can skip it if you need help.

No. Please, you go improve yourself.

Yeah. So you don't need a hand filming?

Oh my God, check this out.

I made a cool filter.
I thought you had to see it.

[Stevie] That's what I'm talking about!
Yes!

Great. I'm fine. Andrea's helping out.

Ah. [sighs]

So does she work
for Good Life with Stevie?

Yes. Because you've been
so busy with your course.

And I want you to have
some time for yourself too.

-Yeah?
-She can't replace you, honey.

-Never.
-[both laugh]

And just so you know,
she doesn't work for me.

She works with me.

-[both] Cheese!
-[Stevie] This filter is the best!

[Bram] Before you can fully transform
into a new man,

first, we have to learn
to say goodbye to the old man.

Let's start by deconstructing ourselves.

I need a volunteer to demonstrate,
so I'm looking for a real man's man.

Uh, this gentleman. With the phone.

-Hello?
-Huh?

-Your name?
-Mike.

Welcome, Mike. Come on over here.

-Ah.
-Yeah, Mikey!

-Like he's walking to his death.
-Oh, no.

So, go ahead, tell us, Mike.

Can you think of the last time you cried?

Uh… last night watching
the Dutch team play football.

[group laughs]

-Nice.
-Bam!

Hey, and uh,
Mike, what do you do for work?

Oh, I… um, can I be honest
right now, Bram?

Of course. Course. That's why we're here.

Okay. I have a few… minor doubts…
about… about the… the course.

-Criticism? Very good.
-Yeah.

The new man thing,

is there any research,
or is it mostly your idea?

Are you doubting…
that men and women should be equal?

No. Equality's great.
I have no problem there.

But… that's different
from being the same, right?

No?

Mm. I don't follow.

-Uh, Greg. Greg.
-Huh?

-Come over here.
-What?

Yeah. I wanna show them something.

-What?
-[Mike] Greg, come on.

-Greg!
-Okay.

My friend Greg is a living example
of the new man.

He's very kind. He's… patient, mellow, uh…

He takes care of the house.

Happy to load and unload the dishwasher.

Yeah, the kids tend to load the knives
pointed up, which is like…

-It's very dangerous.
-Yeah.

There isn't an ounce of macho in Greg.

Not a gram of alpha male.

Greg's, um…
what you'd call "a really lovely guy."

-And how does his wife thank him?
-Mike.

Well? Any guesses?

Screwing her personal trainer, how's that?

-[group murmuring]
-[Mike] Yeah.

Yeah. So that brings me to my question.

This new man thing.
Do you really think this crap helps?

Or is everyone in here
just getting taken for a ride?!

That is my friend!

[group cheering]

Mike, you took that way too far.

Oh, come on. Most of those losers
in there were agreeing.

That stuff is my business, Mike.

Ah, come on, bro.

It's healthy to talk about your problems.

Your own problems. Not everyone else's.

Don't get so worked up.
I mean, this whole course is a huge farce.

Yeah, you think that guy believes this?
Come on. It's a grift. Here.

Let's do the math.
There are a hundred guys, right?

They each pay 400 euros.
That's 40,000 euros

for six weeks, and…

The occasional afternoon or morning.
Maybe an evening session.

That guy is making a fortune!

Well, Mike. If you're so worked up,
start your own course. How 'bout that?

I know you're kidding,
but that's a very good idea.

-I mean it, seriously. Good idea.
-Ah, what the f*ck?

-Now, drinks on me? Let's do it.
-Yeah. So Stevie's paying.

I gotta head out.

-Whoa, whoa, whoa.
-Hey, hey, hey.

-Come on.
-Not so fast.

Come on. Come on.

This will be good for you, okay?

[energetic music playing]

You'll never find me
using thick bleach again.

Now I only use thin bleach.

That's my secret. I do like a clean life!

Hey, hon. What do you think?
Should I keep it?

I made a post in it already.

Yeah, sure. I'm out of boxes anyway.

Oh, there's one more thing
I wanted to mention about

about my role at Good Life with Stevie.

It's temporary, okay?
Andrea's been filling in. That's all.

Yeah, because you're irreplaceable.

Right, that's why I brought this up.

I'm a big-picture kinda man.
I'm a planner, so to speak.

I… pretty much just do that.

You mean you're resigning?

Unless you just can't do it without me,
I just figured… Andrea's doing so well--

-Yeah. That's good.
-Yeah?

-Yeah!
-Really?

-It's good.
-Okay. All right.

-Mm.
-Okay.

[chuckles]

-So what're you gonna do now?
-Oh.

I have a few ideas.

[energetic music playing]

How come I have to leave first?
You wanted to separate.

Look, we can't rent two houses, okay?
I mean, we can't afford it.

And your mother lives right nearby.

You heard what the therapist said.
Right now, it's all about the children.

Well, Jason will barely look
at me right now.

He thinks it's my fault.

Yeah. I'm gonna talk to him about that.
Don't worry. Here.

And hey, if that Ramon guy ever sets
one foot in my house, I'm gonna…

-Yeah.
-I'll have to kick his butt.

-I… Got it?
-Yeah. Of course. That makes sense.

I don't know why you're doing this, Merel.

I just don't know why.

[funky music playing]

[doorbell rings]

Hey, sweetheart.

Hi, Mom.

I warned you about this, remember, Greg?

You just had to get with a white woman.

What do you want to eat?

I'll make you something.

Oh, that's her. Wow, she's so gorgeous.

-Oh, and she's really young.
-Oh. [chuckles]

Hi. [clears throat]

-[Danny clears throat]
-[both] Hi.

-Hey, I'm Pam.
-Hi.

-Mm.
-Hello.

And Danny.

-Hi.
-Yeah.

-Hey. Yeah.
-Mm.

Oh, you guys look hotter
in person, you know?

Yeah, the photo wasn't so good.

-Yeah, bad lighting. It's true.
-Ah.

[laughs]

-[chuckles]
-Uh…

-Drink? Tequila.
-Great.

[both moaning]

Come upstairs, Ivo.

Oh. I thought you'd never ask.

-[chuckles] Shh!
-[chuckles]

[door closes]

[energetic music playing]

[sighs]

-Was it good for you too?
-Uh, yeah.

Ah.

[sighs]

Mm.

I, uh…

I better go.

-Really?
-Yeah.

Aw, man.

But I don't have to work tomorrow.

No, but uh… Tess has a test tomorrow,
and she always wants me to quiz her first.

Come on. We'll get an early start and…

You'll be home
right before she has to go to school.

-Uh, no, the thing is…
-Ugh.

I always have to learn
the stuff myself beforehand.

Miss you already. [chuckles]

[quirky music playing]

Not great, right?

Oh, come on. Hey.
You have any money to spare this time?

Uh, no. Sorry.

Aw, come on, man.

I mean, you just made love, didn't you?
Why don't you make my night too?

Okay. Hold on.

-I'm confused. What is this for?
-Sell 'em.

Who even still has a CD player?

Well, then throw 'em away. Doesn't matter.

Jamiroquai? Seriously?

[quirky music playing]

I thought she'd be out of here right away.

-Should we wake her up?
-Why did she have to sleep here?

How the hell should I know?

I thought it'd be boom-bada-boom,
then she'd be gone.

I know.

I mean, what if she needs a ride home?

Well, then she can call an Uber.

Besides, we paid for her all her drinks
last night.

I wanna shower.

-Oh.
-Ooh.

-Hi.
-Good morning.

-Good morning.
-So, hi.

How you feeling? Did you sleep okay?

Yeah. Mattress was a bit,
um… hard, but… fine in spite of it.

-Yeah, we like it real sturdy.
-[chuckles]

Can we get you anything else?
Do you want breakfast,

coffee, maybe an… Uber? [chuckles]

-This is a first for you guys, isn't it?
-No.

Mm-mm.

We do this almost every month, right?

[chuckles] Okay.

I have to take off.
Thank you, guys, for a great evening.

-Yeah.
-You too.

Well, uh, thank you too.

And if you want to meet up again,
then, um…

I do once per couple,
'cause then… it doesn't get all awkward.

Oh yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's…

-Okay, well, uh…
-Yeah.

-Thank you.
-Bye.

-Bye.
-[all chuckle]

-[door closes]
-[sighs]

Yeah… she didn't like us.
It was like an exam.

-She was really underwhelming.
-Mm.

-No, the fantasy was better.
-Yeah.

I'm thinking next time,
we meet with a man.

-[Danny] Hmm?
-Mm-hmm.

Okay, that's him.

Uh, who?

-This is a problem.
-What?

You neglected to signal while parking.

Uh…

The street was empty.

Ah, not how it works.

You think you can just break
into an empty house?

Driver's license.

Sorry, I always have it on me, but--

You thought, "I'd rather commit a crime,
so I'll leave it at the house?" Yikes.

Let's see here.

Eh… That's a shame, man. That's three.

Sorry?

One, no blinker while parking.
Two, no driver's license.

Three, no front wheel tread.

Four, no charm at all.
But… I'll give you a pass on that.

[scoffs]

All right, well,
just give me the ticket, please.

[Greg] Get out of the car, please.

Sorry, but this--

Hands above your head,
and get out of the car, please.

-Get out! I'm warning you!
-Greg!

[door alarm beeping]

Cuff him.

Hey! [groans]

And five, blatantly disparaging
a peace officer.

[jazzy music playing]

[kisses]

That's just the beginning, friend.

[jazzy music peaks, fades]

[upbeat music playing]

[music fades]