Welcome to our World! Where we serve you cookies to ensure you get the best viewing experience on our site.

Did you know that you can remove censorship board-wide, use our advanced search functions, be notified when new content is posted, join our memberships, set episodes to show in any order you want & more if you are logged into your account?

Register or sign in here: ucp.php?mode=register

02x33 - Cooking and Baking

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "The Sooty Show". Aired: July 30, 1968.*
Watch/Buy Amazon


Children's slapstick show with the little bear glove puppet and his friends.

02x33 - Cooking and Baking

Post by bunniefuu »

TheSootyShowOfficial | Pizza To Go

[Music]

oh hello there oh I'm just off to deliver all these leaflets to all the other Caravans it's Mr Slater's new

money-making scheme it's a pizza delivery service so it's another busy day for me

everyone and

we're about to see my new Autumn collection

what have you done to her beards and Boots indeed get it off

and now our next lady who I'm told will be out of this world

[Music] what are you doing

she's out of this world yes but painting her green to make her look like an alien

is not what I wanted you toasty dog

[Music] please welcome one of the most beautiful

women in the world modeling stunning swimwear

two boys you just just don't take fashion seriously

unlike my hero look Valentino duprada world famous fashion

designer oh if only I could be like him

well we're open for business that'll be an order now hello Slaters pizza deliveries or Mr Slater yes the

telephone lines are now open they better be quality pizzas or I'll get the sack but oh he's gone oh actually I'm not worried

because I have hired two fantastic Italian chefs to cook the pizzas oh yes only senior satini and his assistant

sweet Pacino they should be here any minute now [Music] oh no it's you is it

you're experts experts well I hope you two know what you're doing now where's my pizza delivery girl so so

you look really nice in your uniform huh I'm a disaster disaster darling I mean

look at this look at this hat it it's yeah I can design a much better outfit if you just like to look at my

fashion magazine then I can show suit maybe later right now you've got a very

important job you've got pizzas to deliver what can be more important than fashion hoof

now boys let's get this straight do you actually know how to work this pizza making machine

would I like a demonstration go on then impress me [Music]

[Music]

[Music]

oh our first customer hello Slaters pizza deliveries one ham and pineapple certainly sir you better

get making the pizza City hello Stacy's pizza deliveries six pepperonis City you better get making

those pieces quick as you can hello safest piece of deliveries

[Music]

sweet what are you doing down there getting up you're supposed to be putting

the pizzas in the boxes sausage grain we can't use those now

sweet we'll just have to make some more it's not even just had an order for another 12 pizzas

hello slices pieces quick City get a mover we need those

pizzas double quick hello Slater's Pizza Delivery

six chicken specials in the veggies

[Music]

to deliver [Music]

Valentino de Prado has to put up with anything like this

hello Valentino speaking I know you want to know where I am but I

I not tell you I cannot take depression no more I come on holiday to come away

from the Fashion World no I not tell you

you will never find me they will never find me here

[Music]

right City let's get these pizzas delivered really quickly so they don't get cold oh this then

it's a super fast pizza delivery machine well how does it work

[Music] this is very interesting

[Music]

thank you hey Sushi that's brilliant right the next order is for six pizzas

at Caravan 34. foreign

[Applause]

[Music]

this is very clever City six pizzas we need sweet

[Music] it's important not to overload the machine is it well we should be all

right with six pizzas [Music]

laughs turn it on

[Music]

oh where are they we've got pizzas to make there's only one thing for it I'll

have to do it myself time to feed the sausages that'll be good cheese very important for a pizza

tomato there we are oh let's just put it all in right here we go

let's get back

[Applause] [Music]

[Music] [Applause] goodness that thing stopped

Mamma Mia these are incredible I must find out who maker is and why is that

they are Fantastical look I think going to be a real hit this season

I think a real must a must more like a thin crust wait a minute

I don't believe it you you're Valentino de Prada

this is not important I must find out who is the designer of this beautiful hat oh

did you there is no doubt about the young lady you have a bigger future in

the world of fashion all

right I don't know what's wrong with this Pizza Machine maybe I've not put enough ingredients in that could be it because you can never have too much of a

good thing right now let's really Crank It Up

foreign [Music]

I said I'd be an international fashion designer one day oh so I I love it he

had such a great design but uh I think this Suitor is too much suit what suit I

didn't make a suit looks like dinner's on Rich

it'll look alike he could use a little pizza and acquire huh foreign

TheSootyShowOfficial | The Children's Party

[Music]

[Music]

[Music] ER hello Mr Slater oh don't worry sir

the party will be a success if I don't keep the children laughing I'll get the sack but oh he's gone oh well I'm not

too worried Sue's out now delivering the invitations [Music]

party invitations wow these Balloons look lovely the

children are going to love these should we blow some more up we've got to stretch them first oh I see well I'll tell you what then I'll hold the balloon

and you give it a little stretch apparently you have to stretch

[Music] Don't Let It Go on my fingers just give it a little stretch you're stretching it

far too much don't do that he was stretching it far too much

I can see you doing it do you think I'm an idiot just give it a little stretch stretching

it right you're giving me back so to give

it back no no you're not doing it sorry you're not so you're not doing it

just let go of it [Music] all right smarty pants I'll tell you

what we'll do we'll just take some of the balloons that are already blown up and put them up somewhere nicely now maybe

don't let go of them I'll have to blow it up again now hold on to it nicely and

we'll find somewhere really nice we can put it up in the room maybe [Music]

have I been eating beans no I have not been eating beans

he was letting go of all the balloons I tell you what look we'll let sweep hold on to this one and don't let it go sweet

look at you it's got a picture frame over your head look why don't you go

make yourself useful and go and pour out the orange juice the children will be here soon go on Hop it I wonder how Sue's getting on with the

invitations [Music] lovely to see you here's a party

invitation oh thank you

hmm [Music] foreign

[Music] [Applause]

[Music]

[Music]

laughs

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

oh hello boys now listen the children will be here very soon so we need to get all the games ready this is one of my

favorites it's called stick the tail on the Donkey [Music]

the tail of the donkey what happens is you have to wear a blindfold and then whoever can get the tail on the donkey

wins uh why don't we have a little practice who wants to go first

um so he will let sweep go first all right there's a blindfold for you here's one for you sweet let's just pop

it on there we are now no peeping okay okay no pee pee here's the tail all

right do your best I don't hold out much hope for old

sausage brain but we'll give him a go away oh

well you're not supposed to stick it there you nitwit

you great big Wally you're not supposed to stick it there

it's all right let's let study have a go you can do it it's easy peasy lemon

squeezy oh is it now go on then let's see it clever clogs

[Music] only very close I've

[Music] I've never seen anything like it just

fancy Take a Bow

you're not supposed to have a hole in the blindfold

hey Hello Kitty rinks and welcome to your very own

oh yeah looks like we've got a party full of gate crashes

oh dear this isn't going too well so boys and girls are you having a good time

um how about some magic you're gonna need some magic

The Vanishing crack a trick I take the cr*cker place it in my hand sprinkle on

the magic dust and it's gone what do you think rubbish

um the wiggly rope trick you'll like this

prepare to be amazed [Music]

what do you think

it's like a party on the on the moon there's no atmosphere

if Richard doesn't make this party a success Mr Slater will suck him what

city oh good idea how about a game of musical statues

I'm just about to do my disappearing banana trick Richard if you do that you'll

disappear all right who knows how to play musical statues

[Music] you're an expert well we'll soon see okay everybody you

know the rules as soon as the Music Stops you will stand as still as a statue got it yes right let's go

[Music]

sweet Stop Dancing you're supposed to stop when the Music Stops

yes when the Music Stops right let's start again everybody

[Music] thank you

sweet [Music]

ie you're supposed to stop when the Music

Stops When the Music Stops you freeze all

right here we go again [Music]

[Music]

never mind Richard look at look at Children's faces

I bet it's the best party they've ever been to

you stop when the Music Stops yes sweep you stop where the Music Stops it's the phone it's Mr Slater hello Mrs

later what's that my children's party must be a success because you can hear all the children laughing just keep the

children laughing yes Randy will sir oh he's gone do you hear that my part is a success

maybe I should do some more magic let's play another game Richard let's

play pin the tail on the donkey okay then

[Music] bye everybody

TheSootyShowOfficial | Five Star Fish

[Music] oh hello there Mr Slater has asked us to

run his new restaurant and we're just expecting a delivery of fresh fish

[Music] foreign excuse me look at my face

well what are you going to do about it [Music]

don't do that if you don't mind I'm expecting a fresh

fish delivery from the fishmonger oh no it's you two is it

you're experts well where's the fish you haven't caught any yet but why not

because we've got up late well didn't you set your alarm clock he turned it off why did you turn it off

it wakes you up look today is a very important day for our five-star restaurant shesu because the very

important restaurant critic Maxine gastro is coming here for lunch and she's a very close friend of Mr Slaters

so if she doesn't get a nice fresh fish to eat I'm gonna get the sack you'll go and catch some well have you

got any bait what's that for

that fish

what's that for tuna

[Music] don't tell me

soul [Music] hey sweet be careful

oh what's Mr Slater hello sir what's that Mrs Castro's going to be here any minute

if she doesn't get five star service I'll get the sack oh he's gone

oh no it's Mrs Castro she's early quick take this walkie-talkie and contact me

as soon as you catch a fish well go on go quick quick

foreign [Applause]

[Music]

[Music]

later we'll hear about this oh the food had better be good I fancy a nice piece

of fish so do I just make yourself at home and Sue will welcome you

[Music]

[Music]

foreign [Music]

[Music]

I'll get our head waited to take your order in the meantime a little bread

oh

thank you Mademoiselle oh no thank you Mr

hello hello hello can you hear me of course I can well where are you standing

next to you hey hold on Sue what do you mean you're standing next to me it's me Sue I'm right here wait a minute Sue

what do you mean it's me Sue I'm right oh Julie won't get that fish order very

quickly where's the wheater I think Mrs Castro's ready to order

Richard I'll be riding with you Mrs gastro um how may I be of service Madoff

tell me is there any fish on the menu today uh that's a very good question

foreign [Music]

hmm you know that rock salmon is a dogfish

it happens to be one of my favorites oh so I'm very partial to a nice Soul have

you any soul today uh I'll have to find out for you Mrs gastro or do I have to phone Mr Slater uh no

one Soul coming up it'd better be oh don't worry Mrs Castro your song

won't be too long in the meantime do have some more bread

oh

merci beaucoup oh bless you I'll get you a tissue hello hello come in can you hear me oh

hello [Music] don't just say hello say something

have you caught anything yes yes

have you caught Lots lots and lots well done we'll bring

everything you've caught to the restaurant yes everything and hurry up

[Music] [Applause] where's my soul it's on its way Mrs

Castro meanwhile is there anything else I can get for you have some more red

[Music]

full bread some bread

[Music]

lovely bread

[Music] another basket of bread where's my soul

I'm expecting it any minute Mrs Castro oh it's just arrived this I have to see

[Music] these are our exclusive fishmongers

and sweep have you got my fish show Mrs gastro her soul

[Music] what is the meaning of this that it was a sort of an old boot where's the

fish what do you mean what fish you didn't catch any fish you didn't

catch any fish you didn't catch any fish they didn't catch any fish

well what did you catch hold on a minute

oh no I expect you're going to phone Mr Slater oh indeed I am

I must have lost my purse when I tripped over getting out of the taxi and you're too worthy fishermen sorry and sweeper

founded and returned it safely to me indeed you have I must phone Mr Slater

and tell him what a brilliant restaurant this is well done boys yes top jobs

what's for dinner well there's no fish oh

what a shame but as a reward I am treating you all to fish and chips I

know a brilliant chippy come on [Applause] [Music]

now that is what I call the perfect fish in the perfect batteries

now Richard's just like our fish well and truly battered

bye bye everybody bye bye [Music]