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02x01 - Ring of Fire

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Professor T.". Aired: 18 July 2021 – present.*
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Professor Jasper Tempest, a genius criminologist at University of Cambridge, who has OCD and an overbearing mother, assists the police in solving crimes.

02x01 - Ring of Fire

Post by bunniefuu »

Arghh!

Over there, quickly. Get out that way.

Sorry. Excuse me.

Help them!

Is everybody out?

We don't know.

Hey, are you all right?

Are you all right?

Wilf.

Wilf?

I think Wilf is still inside.

Which floor?

Wilf?

The ambulance, go!

Wilf? Are you all right, mate?

Where is she?!

Who? Who?

Where's Amity?

I don't know.

No, don't go back, Wilf!

It's too dangerous!

Amity!

You can't go in.

You've gotta stay with us.

Stay out here!

You've got to come with us.

Where is she?!

Where's Amity?!

The clue is in the title,

for the eagle-eyed amongst you.

Hmm

Agnew propounds that the presence

of negative stimuli,

or, at least, the absence

of positive stimuli,

accounts for the propensity

of certain individuals

to engage in criminal acts.

In plain English, perhaps,

what Shakespeare so memorably called,

the slings and arrows

of outrageous fortune.

The losses and betrayals,

rejections and deceptions,

slights and disappointments

that constitute a lifetime.

A missed promotion.

The death of a loving

and protective parent.

A broken relationship.

Or maybe just an

unanticipated academic failure.

We are one misstep away,

ladies and gentlemen,

from a downward spiral

into delinquency, debt,

dependency, destitution,

and premature death.

Have a very pleasant afternoon.

You attack with feeling, Miss Snares.

It helps if I imagine

it's a certain someone's head.

Ah, Jasper.

I wonder if I might have a quick word.

I wonder if you might.

It's about the mid-term examinations.

They're due to be completed

by the end of the week.

I thought I'd come and check

we haven't been blown off course.

By a tempest, as it were.

'As I was saying'

the tradition of oral examinations,

or viva voses, long predates us.

They were an essential part

of the oral academic practices

of the ancient

Wakey-wakey!

Jasper?

Of course, Dean. Whatever you say.

I find myself wondering

whether an undertaking

agreed to under duress

is legally or morally enforceable.

And yet a promise is a promise.

Very well.

So, that's all sorted, then?

So glad to see you coming

round to the benefits

of a fruit-based diet, Ingrid.

I can't wait.

You too. Ok.

Ok, bye.

You can call her from your desk,

you know. I don't mind.

You worried I'll overhear

your pet name or something?

We don't have pet names, Lisa.

It's only been a month.

Whatever you say

Danny-boy.

Hey!

Oh, professor.

Professor!

DS Donckers. Ds Winters.

To what do we owe the honour?

I was in the neighbourhood,

quite coincidentally,

and wondered if I might be

of any assistance?

We've got orders not to bother you.

But if you're at a loose end?

On the contrary,

a long and tedious task awaits me.

A stack of essays to revise?

You do not revise essays, detective

sergeant. You correct them.

To revise something is to improve it.

As in, "He needed to revise

his use of language."

Perhaps you can revise his use

of language in that.

We're waiting on the fire brigade report

to check for the presence of an accelerant.

Faulty lava lamp, more likely.

Or a student with a cigarette

who fell asleep.

A fire in a student flat.

How mundane.

Sure we can't tempt you?

Sadly not. But thank you

for giving me an excellent idea

for my oral examinations.

You could have taken my eye out.

Very dangerous, very unprofessional.

The rational actor theory suggests

that criminals are not compelled

to commit crime

but rather choose those behaviours,

um, based on, um

Er

Miss?

Acton. Er Jane Acton.

Your house is on fire, Miss Acton.

Is it?

Hypothetically.

You can only save one

person from the flames,

a cleaning lady

or a scientist

who is about to discover

a cure for cancer.

The cleaning lady is your mother.

Was this part of the course, professor?

It is not a course, Miss Acton,

it is a syllabus.

And that is irrelevant.

I think we'll have to find

a job for you on the force, Wilf.

All your safety certificates

seem to be in order, Mrs Ransome.

That's a relief.

So, how is the hero of the hour?

Heh I'm no hero.

'To the ambulance!'

You helped four people to

safety from a burning flat.

I call that pretty heroic.

And I left a girl behind.

'Amity! Where is she?'

Is there any news on Amity Roberts?

She's seriously unwell, I'm afraid.

Extensive third-degree burns.

They've had to put in a coma.

Are you a student, Wilf?

The odd-job man, more like it.

He had the brains, all right,

but a debt like that

Well, it's not for the likes of us.

I'd never leave my mum on her own.

It was a piece of luck that there

was a room that needed painting.

Well, one of the tenants

had just moved out.

Do you have a name?

Valerie Peters. The little Madam.

What makes you say that?

She hasn't returned her key, for one thing,

or paid the last month's rent.

Is Valerie in any of these photos?

I hope you don't mind me asking,

but what's behind all of the questions?

We think the fire may have

been started deliberately.

Next.

Next.

Next.

Next.

Next.

Next.

Did I did I pass?

Next.

Here's the final fire scene

investigator's report.

Turpentine?

Or some other flammable solvent.

So we're definitely looking at arson, then?

Make that arson with the

intent to endanger life.

The medical report for Amity Roberts.

She was pumped full of GHB.

The Date r*pe Drug?

Yeah.

But no sign she engaged

in any form of sexual activity,

forced or otherwise.

Somebody didn't want her to wake up.

Why did you move out, then, Valerie?

Um, I I found somewhere better.

Cheaper. Nicer people.

Nicer than who?

Amity.

Do you know her name means friendship?

It's pretty ironic, considering

she's a stuck-up b*tch.

She's in a coma with third-degree burns.

There's nothing funny about that.

Look, we didn't get on.

I'm not making a secret of it.

Where were you on the evening of the 17th?

At a college ball.

All night?

It started at eight, finished at two.

Ok. Do you recognise

anyone in these photos?

No.

Ok.

Thank you for your time.

That'll be all for now.

quando mi perdo in UN mondo ♪

penso ai miei sogni ♪

Am I interrupting you, Jasper?

Morning, noon, and night.

I've had complaints.

Quite a number this time.

About some of the exam questions you set.

The burning house one in particular.

I devoted an entire lecture

to Bentham and Utilitarianism.

If they are too witless, too work-shy,

or simply too wooden-headed

to apply it to a simple ethical dilemma,

frankly, they do not deserve to pass.

Yes. Well, that's all sorted, then.

Who would you save?

Oh, my mother, of course.

Why of course?

Because anyone who leaves their mother

to be burnt alive in a house fire

doesn't deserve to be cured of cancer.

Now, that

is an excellent answer.

Oh.

Thank you.

tutta la Mia tenerezza ♪

una carezza ti daro ♪

Say "sex", Danny-boy.

Dan?

Hey. Hello, mate.

Oh, nice to see you.

Nice to see you!

Oh, Dina, Calvin.

Calvin, Dina.

Where've you been hiding?

Oh, you know, people to see, places to be.

Nice suit.

You know me, I like to make an effort.

Uh, I've got to go.

Yeah, no worries, mate.

You've got my number, though, yeah?

Yeah, of course.

Then use it, dickhead!

Yeah, I will.

How do you know him?

We went through training together.

Oh, thank you.

I'll get this.

Thanks.

Is everything all right?

It's 11.50 for a tomato salad?

Well, they were heritage.

Yeah, at that price,

they should be grade II listed.

You want to go halves?

Oh, do you mind? Sorry, babe.

I'm a little bit short until payday,

that's all. Sure.

I had to lend some to my dad.

It's fine.

Arghh!

Jasper.

Mother.

What an unexpected pleasure.

It's awfully naughty of me, darling,

but I'm afraid I can't invite you in.

Kafka is doggy dating.

Oh, girl the way you look tonight ♪

all I wanna do is hold you tight. ♪

I'm thinking of putting him out to stud.

The fees are incredible.

This is just a courtesy visit, mother.

Courtesy, Jasper, from you?

I merely wish to inform you,

before the intelligence

reaches you by other means,

that I am planning to undertake

a course of therapy.

Therapy?

But that's marvellous, darling.

I've been on at you for years.

What's it to be?

Urophagia?

Colonic irrigation?

Goat yoga? Oh, I have the number

of the most amazing

Tibetan acupuncturist inside!

The needles are ooh.

None of the above, mother.

I intend to speak to a psychologist.

Dear heart, is that wise?

Ma'am? Just wondering

if we'd made any progress.

I haven't had a chance

to speak to Amity Roberts.

They haven't brought her round.

We're going as fast as we can.

Well, maybe a, erm,

fresh perspective might help.

Ma'am?

I thought you said to use him

sparingly, you know, like

I know what I said, DS Donckers,

but I'm up against it.

This isn't the only case on my desk.

Right.

And I've had a bit of a "hurry up"

from the Chief Super.

He's being lent on by the

top dogs at the university

because they've heard that

we think it's arson, so

I say you get him in.

What could possibly go wrong?

Ok.

Exams are cancelled, Miss Snares,

for the rest of the day.

Well, the fire brigade found

traces of accelerant in the kitchen.

Which suggests the fire was started

by someone with a key to the flat.

Except our student friends

aren't always in the habit

of locking the front door.

If the door was locked,

then Valerie Peters has some means

of accessing the property.

Except she would appear to lack

a clear and credible motive.

We're still checking out her alibi,

but the fire started around 11

and she claims that she was

at this ball with her friends

long before that.

What about the other residents?

Well, they're just a bunch of kids.

Nerdy kids at that.

I don't imagine any of them

would be stupid enough

to set the place on fire whilst

they themselves were still in it.

The term "h*m* sapiens"

is a misnomer, detective sergeant.

Human beings are guided far

more often by perverse irrationality

than by solid reasoning.

I agree with you, and Jeremy Bentham,

that human nature is essentially selfish.

And yet you have somewhat restored

my faith in it, Mr?

Jones. Joss Jones.

Ah.

Pass.

I find our student population

to be as capable of

deception and malfeasance

as the rest of us, Miss Donckers.

A young man who has paid another

to take an exam on his behalf.

Who knows what else

he might be capable of?

God, poor Amity.

So, Joss, you were in your room all night?

Yeah.

Well, until I smelt the smoke.

And what were you doing?

Studying, listening to music.

Can anyone vouch for you?

I didn't think anyone else was in.

Until the fire started.

Until I took a break.

About nine.

I heard some voices arguing.

Do you know who?

Some of the girls, maybe.

I mean, it wouldn't be the first time.

Do you recognise anyone?

Yeah, Louis.

Who's Louis?

Amity's Ex.

Any pearls of wisdom, Jasper?

It seems imperative to establish

whether we are dealing

with an arsonist or a pyromaniac.

Is there a meaningful difference?

An arsonist has external motivation.

Such as?

Insurance fraud.

Whereas a pyromaniac's motivation

comes from within.

Anger, for example.

I think we're safe to assume

that the motivation of whoever set the fire

was to either harm or k*ll Amity Roberts.

It is seldom safe to assume anything.

So, who's in the frame?

Valerie Peters moved out

a week or so before the fire,

still has her key, admits to being

antagonistic towards the victim,

but has an alibi that appears to check out.

Joss Jones, in his bedroom

alone on the night of the fire.

So no alibi.

We're starting background checks.

And Louis Dennis,

Amity Roberts' former boyfriend.

Who DS Donckers so cleverly photographed

at the scene of the fire.

And who we found with some dodgy photos

of Miss Roberts on his laptop.

Some kind of revenge porn?

He seemed pretty upset

that Dan suggested that

when we interviewed him earlier.

I've told you, I didn't

take those pictures.

I didn't send 'em to anybody.

She sent them to me. I swear.

Why would she send compromising

photos of herself

to someone she dumped

less than a month ago,

plus a bunch of her classmates and peers?

I've absolutely no idea.

You didn't think that this was her way

of trying to say she wanted

to get back together with you?

No, definitely not.

You seem very sure.

She's already started sleeping

with somebody else.

That's what I've heard.

Any idea who?

Joss Jones.

Blimey, they're all at it with

each other like a bunch of baboons.

It is more accurately termed

a flange of baboons, Detective Inspector.

But you are otherwise correct.

Like baboons, or bonobos,

or any other group of primates,

our student friends are engaged

in a struggle with one another

for status and mating rights.

Well, then, in the absence

of David Attenborough,

I suggest you two start studying

them little more closely.

Come on, then, Liz.

I've got six hours of CCTV

footage to go through

from Valerie Peter's summer ball.

What, I've got to do this on my own?

What about you, professor?

Fancy teaming up?

Adelaide.

Christina.

Are you

Are you looking for Jasper?

In a car park? That seems unlikely.

Gosh, you know, you

You haven't aged a bit.

Can't say the same for you, dear.

I'm sorry, Adelaide, I'm

I'm in a bit of a rush.

Has he informed you of his intention

to undergo a course of psychotherapy?

No, no, he hasn't.

Then consider yourself told.

There's only one reason a man

of his outlook and temperament

would hazard the foolhardy

step of self-analysis,

and it isn't to impress his mother.

There's nothing I would like more

than to see my son settled and happy.

But if you toy with his affections,

well, as the ladies from the

Fen Ditton Bridge Club can testify,

my wrath is a terrible thing to behold.

Toodle-loo.

Professor, street sign.

Doh!

Excuse me?

Doesn't matter.

You disagree with

DI Rabbit, then, professor?

Almost invariably.

Doesn't seem that much of a reach.

If the fire was started deliberately,

then Amity must have been the target.

Are you very familiar with

the latest academic research

into the behavioural abnormalities

of those with pyromaniac tendencies,

Detective Sergeant?

I wouldn't say very.

And neither am I.

Because there has been remarkably

little research in this area.

What little there has

suggests pyromaniacs often fail

to understand their own motivations.

They act impulsively,

sometimes in response

to sexual or fetishistic urges.

Right, they get a kick out of it.

Precisely so.

So, how do we know we're dealing

with a kinky pyromaniac

or a plain vanilla arsonist?

You look for a pattern of similar

fires in that part of the city.

You've had no problems with them?

Your current tenants.

No, you know, a few, nothing serious.

Mrs Ransome, we found this.

That's a misunderstanding.

That's a section 8 eviction notice

dated on the third of last month.

All right, I admit it, I wanted them out.

And why was that, Mrs Ransome?

I got Wilf to drive me

around during the day

while they're out at lectures.

You wouldn't believe what we found.

Powders, pills, potions.

And did you report what

you found to the police?

It wouldn't have been worth my while.

Or someone made it worth your while not to.

There's no law against

changing your mind, is there?

It would seem young Joss Jones

Aka Master Jocelyn Armitage

Sibthorpe Jones Esquire

has been getting into

a few awkward scrapes of late.

Daddy paid off the landlady so she'd

withdraw her eviction notice,

not make a formal complaint to the police.

She found a phial of GHB in his room,

though he was adamant it wasn't his.

Can we have a word?

GHB.

It was found in your room, Joss.

And it was also found

in Amity Roberts' bloodstream.

Look, the GHB, it wasn't my idea.

Valerie ordered it online.

She ordered a Date r*pe Drug?

We've been clubbing a lot.

And?

It's like liquid ecstasy,

it makes you feel euphoric,

whatever, disinhibited.

Still doesn't explain

what it was doing in your room.

You were sleeping with Valerie.

On and off.

As well as with Amity?

Who told you that?

Her ex-boyfriend.

It was a one-time thing with Amity.

She'd been with Louis for a long time.

She fancied something new.

So, was this part of the experiment?

Not with Amity. She definitely

wasn't into anything like that.

Look, I'm late for my lecture.

Er, not so fast, Mr Jones.

I'd like a word, if I may.

Maybe he set the flat on fire

to create a smoke screen, you know,

divert attention from the

fact he was flunking out.

It's like the ultimate

dog-ate-my-homework excuse.

You're giving me the profile

of a spoiled rich kid,

not a reckless arsonist.

What about Valerie Peters?

Well, I think we discovered

the real reason she moved out.

And maybe why she kept her key.

How solid is her alibi?

I'm still going through the footage,

but no sign of her so far.

Well, then, make finishing that a priority.

Oh, boss, what about this?

What is it?

It's a list of unexplained

fires across the city

that the professor ask for.

Email it to him, by all means,

but this is a tangled web.

Let's not get too distracted

by a burnt-out shed.

We've checked the CCTV footage

from the porters' lodge

at the college where the ball was held.

Frame by bloody frame.

And there is no record of you entering.

I came in the back way.

We spoke to the waiter at your table.

He said there was an empty

place throughout dinner.

Come on, Valerie.

We know you've been

lying to us from the start.

Do you recognise him?

You and Louis were

in it together, is that it?

Or did you decide to get back

at Amity all on your own?

You must have been gutted

to see a meal ticket

like Jocelyn Sibthorpe Jones

slip through your fingers.

I bet you were already planning

the wedding photos in country life.

We've already got Joss on record

saying he heard raised female

voices in the flat around nine.

And he's very obligingly told us

it was you who ordered the GHB.

It won't take much for us to

gain access to your bank records

and prove it.

Miss Nash

You have amply demonstrated your ability

to accurately quote a definition

of Agnew's general strain theory

straight from the textbook.

However, I wonder if I might trouble you

for an observation of

a more personal nature?

A a personal insight?

Precisely.

One that originates from within

your own frontal cortex,

rather than one that has been so

transparently hijacked from another.

Nope

I thought not.

My best friend's sister's ex-boyfriend

Tyrell

he had his heart set on becoming

a premier league footballer.

And he'd been on the books

of one of the biggest clubs

since he was seven,

but at 16, they let him go, just like that.

And he was a lovely guy.

He was smart, talented, respectful.

But he's inside now.

He stabbed someone over a drug debt.

And I think the disappointment,

the crushing of his dreams, really,

it just destroyed him.

Turned a good man bad.

Professor?

How dare you?

'Valerie admits to going to confront Amity

'about sleeping with her boyfriend.'

'And she admits to lacing

her drink with GHB.'

She even admits to taking the photos

and using Amity's laptop

to email them to all and sundry.

But she swears blind she had nothing

to do with starting the fire.

And I would lay a considerable wager

that she's speaking the truth.

What makes you so sure of that?

Because she is a woman.

And?

For a wronged and vindictive

female, humiliation of her rival

is the most desirable outcome, not m*rder.

This is the 21st century.

You can't say stuff like that.

Nevertheless, I just did.

So you're suggesting that sending

the nude photographs of Amity

was a sufficient act of revenge?

Precisely so.

So we charge Valerie Peters with

administering a noxious substance.

And disclosing private photographs

with intent to cause distress.

But where does that leave us with the fire?

It leaves you with three

burnt-out cars, two sheds,

and a somewhat charred recycling bin.

Oh, with respect,

I've looked into all those fires.

There really is no pattern.

There's nothing that

connects them to each other,

let alone the fire in the student flat.

Then, with respect, Detective Sergeant,

I suggest you look again.

Wouldn't it make better sense

to follow up on the thing

with Jones, ma'am?

Amity's ex-boyfriend. We haven't

been able to rule him out yet.

Let's run with the fresh line of

inquiry the professor is suggesting.

For now, at least.

But none of them could

describe him accurately.

They all recalled a stranger turning up

to report the fire and to

say that he'd called 999.

None of them could remember what he

looked like, or even what he wore.

He was remarkably unremarkable.

And that, detectives, is your pattern.

A typical pyromaniac is?

Male, aged 17 to 35,

often neglected as a child.

And above all, unobtrusive.

A nobody.

A frustrated nobody, in this case,

who showed promise as a child

but has now developed

an inferiority complex.

He starts the fires so that he can

play the hero and save the day

and get the recognition

he thinks is being denied to him.

Precisely so.

It's a neat theory,

but it doesn't get us any

closer to ID'ing our perp.

I already know their identity.

'That's a misunderstanding.'

'that's a section 8 eviction notice

dated on the third of last month.'

'So, how's the hero of the hour?'

I'm no hero.

For the avoidance of doubt,

I intend to pinpoint their address.

A standard geographical profiling technique

for what you may term

a poacher-style criminal,

who uses their home as a base

from which to commit crime in their locale.

Oh, professor!

Doh!

That was the

Remember?

I do remember.

And the intervening time

has not made that alleged jest

any the more penetrable.

My back's k*lling me.

Would you pop out to the chemist

for some of those painkillers?

Well, what about these ones?

They make me really drowsy.

Ok.

Well, I'll make you a

cup of tea before I go.

Ok?

Ok.

You all right, Wilf?

Yeah.

Would you mind coming

with us to the station?

We've got a few questions.

Er, I can't right now, I've

I've gotta go to the chemist

for my mum. It's it's urgent.

We can do this the hard way,

if you'd prefer.

Yeah, yeah, Ok, Ok.

This way. Come on.

"Landlady's son labelled a hero

after preventing fire fatalities."

How long is this gonna take?

A bit more high-profile

than your usual targets, wouldn't you say?

Look, my mum's not well. Ok?

She's sick.

'I gave her something to sleep.

'Right? I-I need to go and look after her.'

I need to go back to her.

It must be tough for a lad of your age,

stuck at home, worrying about your mom,

while a bunch of hooray

Henrys with half your brains

party like it's going out of fashion.

Look, Wilf

Amity's conscious and on the mend.

We know you didn't mean to hurt her, Ok?

It'll all be taken into

account if you cooperate.

You don't understand.

You don't understand, because

neither of you are listening to me.

When are you planning your next

attack, Wilf? I need to leave!

I need to go!

Sit down.

She's not feeling well.

Can you not understand that?

Come on, sit down.

We're not finished. She's not well.

I need to go and see her.

You need

Get your hands off me!

Calm down, calm down!

Come on, come with me.

Let's take two minutes, hey.

Who does every boy strive hardest

to impress, Detective Sergeant?

His mother.

How's she doing?

Very groggy.

Looks like she's been drugged.

Thank you.

You don't think he was actually

trying to k*ll her, do you?

No chance. Just earn

her approval by saving her.

Bloody hell.

There are easier ways.

Mm.

Do you wanna earn my approval, Dan?

Always, Lisa, always.

Buy me a beer.

I'm literally dying for one.

Mmm

What? Oh

It's not what you think.

I'm meeting someone for a coffee.

A coffee?

I don't know what Dina's putting

in your drink, but you've changed.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Yeah, see you tomorrow.

Quando sei qui con me ♪

non riesco a pensare ♪

quando sei qui con me ♪

il ricordo ♪

di noi due resta ancora ♪

How splendid the old place is!

And this is?

A peace offering, darling.

Your second cousin Leopold

is in the head shrinking business.

I asked him to make me a list of the

ten best practitioners in his field.

"Dennis Eagle Rock Shamanistic Services.

"Ayahuasca soul retrieval, purging,

"real sheep's blood

available upon request."

You always need a plan B, darling.

Thank you, mother. But no, thank you.

I have already made my choice.

You have?

And if I remain here conversing with you,

I shall be late for my first session.

No time like the present, darling.

Carpe Diem, Jasper.

Seize the day.

Ancora ♪

stringimi, vita Mia ♪

One Caramel Macchiato

with extra whipped cream.

And one normal drink.

What? I need to get my kicks

while I can these days.

Don't mind me.

So, what's so important

that we couldn't talk

about it in the office?

Yeah, erm

I, er

Come on, spit it out, man.

Look, Paul, I wanted to ask

if you see any opportunities,

erm, in the short term

to put me forward for a promotion.

And a pay rise, mores to the point.

Ok. I'm gonna need something

a lot stronger than that.

Right.

Professor Tempest?

Dr Goldberg, I presume?