01x03 - Tiger Tiger

[bunniefuu]

'Padam Padam' by Edith Piaf

Haven't you finished with that yet?

Get a bloody move on!

What the hell are you playing at?

Hello?

Mum?

Shut up! Shut up!

Jasper!

We need a gardener, it's like The

Day Of The Triffids out there.

Mother, what are you doing here?

As previously discussed,

I've decided to reoccupy my old studio,

the scene of so many of

my artistic breakthroughs.

Well, don't look so horrified,

I shan't trouble you.

This is about me and

my growth as an artist.

Honestly, darling,

you won't even know I'm here.

Don't forget we're having lunch.

We'll be as quiet as two little mice.

It will all be between you,

me and the lamp post.

Darling, you won't

hear so much as a peep.

We'll do our best not to get

under your feet, won't we, Kafka?

Ah! Ah!

Ambulance, please.

Oh, and if at all possible, no sirens.

Ahhh!

OK, thanks,

mate, thank you.

Thank you.

The late, great DS Donckers.

No prizes for getting here first.

Just another minor moral victory.

Vijay Banerjee, local jeweller,

hit while crossing the street.

Not to minimise his pain,

but why has Rabbit despatched

us to a road traffic accident?

He was carrying these.

Ooh, a goody bag.

See if his family want them back first.

'You never said anything about

a child being involved.'

'What

difference does it make?'

Don't! They'll see your face.

It's itchy.

You expecting someone? No. No!

Are you doing anything tonight?

I've got a gig. Gig.

Not sure brass band concert

constitutes as a gig.

Who's at the door?

Calm down, it's probably just a delivery.

Oh, jeez, I'm teasing.

Don't be so touchy.

It's OK. I get it.

Let me go and have a look,

see what I can make out.

Come on, let's go.

It's a man and a woman, smartly dressed.

Don't worry, they're leaving.

Don't tell me to calm down, OK?

Yeah, OK. You're

making me nervous.

What did they look like?

Hard to say. Smartly dressed.

- Should we be worried?

- Padma?

My phone. 'Fat lot of help you are!'

Don't. 'I don't trust this any more.'

He'll be here, just have to wait.

Padma, don't!

Dreaming about the big day?

No man will ever get

me up the aisle, Dan.

Let me know when you change your mind.

Sorry to keep you waiting.

Hi. DS Donckers,

this is my colleague DS Winters.

We're making enquiries related to

a man we think is your proprietor.

Mr Banerjee's not here.

We're aware of that,

Mr Banerjee has been in an accident.

How badly is he hurt? We don't know yet.

We're trying to

locate his family.

Stop it!

I only have Mr Banerjee's

home number, I'm afraid.

Oh, finally.

Hey, don't answer it. Why not?

It's not what we arranged.

What the hell are you doing?

Get back in line now!

It's going to voicemail.

Your boss was carrying some

pretty special-looking diamonds,

a lot of them, is that normal?

Wh erm, he may have been

on his way to see a customer.

Mind if we take a

look at the safe?

I couldn't, not without

checking with Mr Banerjee first.

We could come back

with a warrant.

And a load of police vans.

Sirens blaring.

All right.

Is something missing?

I couldn't say,

I'm not responsible for the safe.

But you know the combination.

What's your name? Amrit Khan.

Ms Khan, we're police detectives,

not tax inspectors,

we just want to

know what's missing.

Black diamonds.

How many?

A lot. How much are they worth?

Erm, around a million.

Mr Banerjee would never take them

out of the shop without security.

Mr Banerjee?

We've given him a sedative.

We need to talk to him.

Mr Banerjee? You need

to ask the doctor first.

Mr Banerjee, can you hear me?

Mr Banerjee, can you hear me?

My My family.

I have to go.

Can you tell us what happened?

I have to go.

They're crazy.

Who is, Mr Banerjee?

They're

going to k*ll my family.

Boss, I think we might

have a hostage situation.

Mr Banerjee's freaking out,

he's convinced his family is in danger.

It WILL take a couple of weeks

before the brace can go off, Mr Tempest.

Try not to fall down the stairs again.

Is there someone to pick you up?

'Anyone you can think of, sir?'

A gardening accident?

But you're such an

unlikely horticulturalist.

Patently.

Are these your gardening clothes?

They had to cut my trousers off.

These were the only items in my size

that it was possible to acquire

in the hospital gift shop.

Are you congested?

This is Ben Sparrow from the

anti-kidnap and extortion unit.

Hi.

DS Winters and DS Donckers,

the investigating officers.

We are still carrying out reconnaissance

and we do not know as yet how many

hostage takers we're dealing with.

We're waiting to get some thermal

imaging equipment on site.

Do they know that we know?

No, and I want to

keep it that way.

This is Banerjee's mobile phone.

We, er, picked it up at the hospital.

Good, very good.

It might be helpful. We should

avoid contact as long as practical.

That's standard procedure.

We think we have two hostages,

his wife, and their daughter, Priyanka.

They are both registered at the property

and none of the neighbours have

seen either of them exit as yet.

Priyanka's car is still parked outside.

That's all the intel

we have today.

So

now, all we have to do is wait.

Professor Tempest's office?

Mrs Tempest!

Yes, he's right here.

Darling, don't forget we're having lunch.

He's not going anywhere soon.

So much to discuss.

One o'clock? I'll tell him.

Bye, Mrs Tempest.

Doubtless she'll be very

keen to tend to the invalid.

This might be the

moment to escape.

'Well, you heard the woman.'

Something's not right,

he should have been here by now.

Let's get the girl to call.

Where's your phone?

In my coat.

And, where's your coat?

All of you into the bedroom, now!

Call your dad, and no messing.

Don't answer.

They'll know we know.

'Please leave your

message after the tone.'

Daddy, Daddy, main hoon

Speak English.

Daddy, it's me.

'Where are you?

'You ARE going to do what

they're asking, right?'

Voicemail. Play it.

'Daddy? Daddy, main hoon

' 'Speak English.'

'Daddy, it's me.

'Where are you?

'You ARE going to do what

they're asking, right?'

Send a message.

Problems with safe. Stop.

Need more time. Stop.

There was an armed raid at

Banerjee's shop last year,

it triggered the alarm,

but the raiders got away.

Did they take anything? No.

Second time lucky.

Listen, I appreciate the legwork,

but I'm trying to deal with

a hostage situation here.

Can't be any harm trying to

find out what's motivating them.

See what else you can dig up.

Professor, have you been skiing?

What happened?

A displaced fracture of the

distal end of my fibula.

Shouldn't you be at home, resting it?

My home and office are being

disinfected as we speak.

I have a problem with vermin.

He's got to be somewhere.

I turn my back for five minutes.

He's been acting very oddly.

Jasper is always a little odd.

He's taken up gardening.

What did you say?

Gardening.

I heard you the first time.

I thought I might make

myself useful here.

Jasper, we're in the middle

of a hostage situation

No. Not his field.

I have written and lectured

extensively on the subject.

We've brought in the big g*ns.

Thanks for the offer, though.

Oh.

I need to rest my foot.

Erm Do you mind?

No rush.

Wilfred!

Ah! What are you doing?

I can't abide a man working at height.

I'm tidying my Ps and Qs.

Well, do get down.

Steeplejacking at

your time of life.

Wilfred, Jasper has started

working on the garden.

Ah.

You know what that means?

Mm. He's digging.

He intends to stay.

Will you speak to him?

Well, yes, of course, Adelaide,

but I'm sure it's just a phase.

Huh! Wish I was blessed

with your naivety.

Tell me about these diamonds.

Black diamonds, from Brazil.

From outer space, actually,

they merely landed in Brazil.

Excuse me?

Black diamonds, carbonados,

they're thought to be the

remains of asteroids.

Did you just colour code the teabags?

Asteroids, which formed

from interstellar clouds

of diamond crystals.

How much are they worth?

Jeweller mentioned a million.

I would estimate

considerably more than that.

Ah, Ben,

come in, help yourself to a tea,

coffee, whatever

We were just discussing

your ransom kidnapping.

Excuse me?

Ransom kidnapping,

the act of forcing a victim

to hand over valuables by

holding their family hostage.

I know what a ransom

kidnapping is.

Oh, in which case,

I wonder whether you might consider

adhering to my three golden

rules of hostage negotiation?

I'm sorry, who are you?

This is Professor Tempest.

He's our external advisor.

Hmm.

What would these, er,

so-called golden rules be?

Firstly, always give them precisely

what they want, if at all possible.

It's statistically the

wisest course of action.

I deal with real-life emergencies

mate, not statistics.

Chief Inspector?

This is Professor

Tempest speaking.

Who's this?

Put it on speaker.

'Where the hell is Banerjee?'

Mr Banerjee is currently in the hospital,

he was hit by a car whilst

fetching the diamonds.

That's why we haven't heard anything.

'Are you police?'

The police are here, but I would

not recommend talking to them,

I am not entirely convinced

Mr Swallow can be trusted.

I'm hanging up now.

He hung up.

What are you doing? Are you mad?

On the contrary. You totally shafted us.

You gave me no choice.

I was going to offer them

exactly what they want,

but you lied to them, which forced

me to follow rule number two.

And what's your rule number

two when it's at home?

Tell the truth, at all times.

This is bullshit. I disagree.

It's pure logic,

informed by extensive analysis

of the available data sets.

My recent paper on the subject

If you interfere again,

I'll have you arrested.

Is that logical enough for you?

I think you should come with me, Jasper.

Jog on.

Now they know we know,

we need to secure the area and get

everyone evacuated immediately.

Stay in here.

I'll find someone. Yeah.

Can you run a check

on all parked vehicles

within a 500-yard radius

of the property, please?

Yes, sir.

'Papa Alfa 8-7, parked units in place.'

'Mike Bravo 6-8 to control,

ETA minus three minutes.'

'Control, Sierra Juliett

4-0 requesting sit-rep.'

Let me see.

There's a sn*per on the roof!

There must be half the

police in the city out there!

You promised me it wouldn't come to this!

We've finally got

thermal imaging.

It confirms there

are two of them,

and they've moved the

hostages to a separate room,

that should minimise the collateral

damage if we have to go in.

It's the last resort, I hope.

Look at those shapes

and movements.

There are four hostages, not two of them.

Sister and her little 'un.

These things seldom

work out well.

Really?

First thing I've eaten today.

Do you want one? No.

Sparrow.

Out of the question.

OK. OK, calm down, calm down.

They said they'll only

talk to the professor.

Are you sure?

Absolutely.

To measure is To know.

To guess is To miss.

But are you REALLY sure?

Categorically so.

Because this buzzard or blackbird

really doesn't think much of you.

Why are you here all the time?

Mind your own business.

What's in the suitcase?

You ask too many questions.

Jasper, we need you.

Well, go on, then.

Hello? 'Professor?'

Indeed, this is

Professor Tempest.

I do not negotiate with anyone

holding a child hostage.

I wish you a pleasant day.

Back to your office?

Yeah.

What the hell are you doing?

Trying to bring a hostage situation

to a successful conclusion.

By taunting the hostage takers?

Don't tell me you trust Brad

Tit and his macho posturing

more than a scientific

approach backed by data?

Sparrow, it's Ben Sparrow,

and he's actually been very professional.

Are you going somewhere?

Listen, Jasper,

I think it would be better

if you just stayed out of this case,

I'm gonna call you a taxi.

Yes?

'Papa Alfa 8-7 to control

A child in the building'

So

what's your third golden rule, Jasper?

Hey, well done, I'm really proud of you.

You're such a brave girl.

Daddy should be here by now.

Why is he taking so long?

Free my hands.

No, it's too risky.

Priyanka, please,

get the scissors.

They're there in the drawer, just go.

Get them.

What we doing now, huh?

What do you mean what do we do now?

We just let two hostages go.

So what have you got next, brains?

Huh? Have a think.

We should just give

them what they want

then this will all be over.

Your father would never

abandon us, never.

Something's happened.

Come on, just cut me free.

Sit still.

Ooh, sh*t!

Let's speak to the

professor again.

Professor Tempest.

'We want a million pounds'

in unmarked notes, and a car,

and free passage.

'Or we start sh**ting.'

Professor? 'I believe you're bluffing.'

'Bluffing?' Yes, exactly. Bluffing.

To deceive by presenting

a self-confident front.

You have considerably less leverage

than you'd have us believe.

You're surrounded by Mr Parrot's sn*pers,

who will sh**t you dead the

moment you leave the building,

and unbeknownst to you,

your situation has recently

become even less promising.

What do you mean?

Mr Banerjee has died.

The accident ruptured his liver.

He did not survive.

No, wait!

Sweet mother of God, Tempest,

if this ends badly

You You will be

responsible for the victims.

It will not end badly.

You were in on this?

The third golden rule.

Convince the kidnappers

their situation is hopeless.

Well, they're desperate now.

No. No!

What are you doing?

Let her go! Let her go!

Come on!

Let her go! Let

Let her go!

Let her

'4-0 control, shot fired.'

'Control 4-0. Authorised firearm

offices clear to deploy.'

Priyanka!

Armed police! Armed police!

Keep your hands where we can see them!

Don't move! Don't move!

Right.

Uh-huh. Thank you.

Everyone's OK.

The whole family.

And the gunmen?

There's no sign of them,

but they're still searching the vicinity.

The building was surrounded.

They might have got out

through a service tunnel.

What about the shot? A distraction.

Part of the escape plan

they worked out in advance.

How did they know about a

service tunnel when we didn't?

An inside job?

Has all the hallmarks.

Banerjee took his most valuable stones.

Carbonados are easy to

sell on the black market.

Insurance fraud? Exactly so.

He staged the kidnap so

he could cash in twice.

The only thing he didn't plan

for is getting hit by a car.

Yes, that was fortunate.

Not for Mr Banerjee, but for me.

It meant I could convince the kidnappers

their situation was hopeless.

If Banerjee was dead,

their plan had failed.

Impressive.

That is the rankest

tracksuit I've ever seen.

But still impressive.

You can't hide out

here forever, you know,

you've got to go home some time.

I could say the same to you.

Going to my sister's.

Derek and I have decided to

spend a little time apart.

Go on.

I know you can't resist the

urge to say "I told you so".

Well, if you will run off with a

boring accountant named Derek.

Well, at least he can open the

door without wearing bloody gloves.

I knew you could never be happy with him!

Jasper! There are golden

rules to relationships, too.

You never gave me what I wanted,

you never told me the truth,

but you sure as hell convinced me

that our situation was hopeless!

I've been putting off this

decision for way too long.

I don't want to spend my

life feeling half happy.

You're gonna want

to hear this.

We ran a check on parked vehicles

in the vicinity of the apartment.

Uniform helped, we struck lucky.

Purple Ford Fiesta

stolen yesterday.

Uh-huh?

Turns out they were hiding

in the cellars until we left.

Luckily, we had a team waiting for

them at their stolen escape vehicle.

We've got 'em, ma'am.

Out! Get out! Move!

Good. And we're onto

something else, but

We have to check something.

Mrs Banerjee, we have good news.

We've arrested two suspects.

You said Priyanka saw one of

them without their balaclava,

is that right?

Yes.

Argh!

We'd like you to see if you can ID him.

Just informally for now.

Do you recognise either of them?

Is it him?

I don't think so.

'Are you really sure?'

'Yes, I'm sure.'

We recovered enough

fingerprints from your apartment

to convict them five times over.

But if you can't ID them, well

Unless

What?

Unless Miss Banerjee is lying.

Why would she do that?

You own your own business, right?

In the gem trade, like my father,

importing from India.

Doing OK?

Bit up and down.

Priyanka?

I'd say that's a bit

of an understatement.

While our colleagues were trying

to negotiate your release,

we had time for a bit of digging.

Winding up petition from your creditors,

served ten days ago.

Did you ask your father for a handout?

Did he refuse?

What is going on here?

We've spent hours in here,

there's f*cking police outside.

There's police? There's police.

Get out!

How could you?

Mummy.

Mummy, I didn't want this.

Mummy, please.

I'm so sorry.

Don't take it to heart.

It was an inside job.

You were half right.

To me, being half right

is like being half happy.

'Two men are in custody'

Hi, Dad.

'The suspects were arrested when

armed police officers forced'

You all right, love? Yeah, fine.

I made your favourite pasta.

'Confirm that no-one was

injured in the incident.

'Earlier, streets surrounding

the property were cordoned off

'for several hours,

as specialist officers

'from the National Anti-Kidnap

And Extortion Unit

'negotiated with the hostage takers

for the release of the family.

'Police are refusing

to confirm reports'

I can manage, you know. I know.

'As a result of the negotiations,

a woman and a girl of six

'were let go by the hostage takers'

Who was that? It's a friend.

That kind of friend? He's just a friend.

He's just someone I work with.

Unfortunately.

Eat some.

It's delicious.

You haven't even tasted it yet.

This is not going to work,

Mother. What isn't?

You, moving in here.

You clearly need my help.

I know what I need from you,

Mother, and it is not your help.

But, darling, look at you.

I was doing perfectly well until you

burst in and discombobulated me.

I thought it was the father,

but it was the daughter.

An unforgivable mistake.

Dear heart. Don't be so hard on yourself.

You always were a mercurial boy.

Now, if you don't mind,

I have an exhibition to prepare for.

By the way, leisure wear's

not a look you can pull off.