01x02 - A Fish Out of Water

[bunniefuu]

New York is the melting pot and fish

city can only be described as the pool

you base being a good confident of bad

town can be work it was another Monday

morning in fish city as usual it looked

like an exceptional day this is my beat

and this is where I eat thank Neptune

for pearls in a turbulent sea of

surprises pearls is calm and peaceful Oh

what's the matter with you this morning

this morning why should this morning be

any different from any other morning in

the history of mornings nothing ever

changes and I've decided to do something

about it my new memories well track my

shell a special named after me the

krabby peppery hog on crusty bread what

are you laughing that bump getta loada

me inspect the deal corn flakes and

coffee okay so I'm a little predictable

a little are you having a green tie

today yeah well then it must be monday

or tuesday or wednesday or thursday

shawm consistent monotonous reliable

whoring I've had it I am bored bored

bored all aboard that's going aboard

forward hey I can be as unpredictable as

the next fish

excuse me that's someone else's seat

sorry pal I must have missed the brass

plaque I'd like a cup of coffee

beautiful cream and sugar Oh gorgeous uh

I mean black cream and sugar sugar did

you end up eating steak through a straw

the last time you call poil chugga ahem

nasty cough I'd have that checked if I

were you but you're not me and you're

still sitting on my stool hey if it

means that much to you besides I've got

to go anyway au revoir ma petite bus

song Oh likewise I'm sure what did he do

we called you a small fish but it

sounded different somehow come on

catfish I'm not getting any younger come

to think of it I'm not getting any

patients Goldie patients my third

husband said I had the patience of a

saint of course that's when he dressed

up like a monkfish and called me mother

superior bank hubba-hubba detective

catfish are you going undercover tonight

no Ted I always wear a miniskirt and

fishnet stockings on Mondays now that

was my fourth husband hey not so fast

fish cakes I'm collecting for the widows

and orphans fund and I can make you give

till it hurts ask my husband

you got any paper money you know green

stuff dead presidents hey I'm a cop not

wasters rockefeller listen up I have a

short announcement that'll be the day

put a lid on it ladies this is inspector

sea bass and he's more than just a

pretty face that's a pretty face well

well well if it isn't mr. brass plaque

you two know each other yeah we had

breakfast together he can scramble my

eggs any time honey you meet your new

partner partner who needs a partner I've

never had a partner before well you've

got one now vas just transferred in from

l2 he's a sting expert he's here to help

you with the dwarf gourami gold bullion

case I don't need help I'm this close

coo coo he'll just get you that much

closer now update him on the fire yeah

it's in this mess somewhere I'll find it

later not necessary chief I've been

following this shipment since it

disappeared from Fort locks then I

suppose you know when it's planning to

appear in fish city don't you know I can

see that you two will make quite a team

what is it opens huh you came to the

right fish I've been an orphan since I

was 6 that's why to watch doll it's

nothing compared to the feeling I get

back pardon my sour grapes but this cop

had one cherry roadster while I drove a

lemon that and the fact that he tried to

squeeze my tomato this morning made him

not exactly the apple of my eye what'd

you do win the lottery let's just say I

know where to put my money how long you

been drinking pearls coffee long enough

to have a special named after me yeah

well the gals got a right to add a new

entree to a menu not this gal I've been

her steady diet for five years well

maybe she'd like to try something a

little bit richer and more fulfilling

real in your recipe buddy you don't have

the right ingredients turn left up here

where are we going the shell Shack it's

just about happy hour for the snitches

perfect maybe if we flash a little

silver we can pick up some info about

the goal don't you just want to smack

him

who's the bus bus has some new hotshot

cop in town inspector guilt bad enough

but at least he's predictable I hate not

knowing shuttle don't worry what you get

used to it you don't have a brass plaque

on this one do ya hey time ago my drink

is watered down it's one of brings like

him will give us four stations a bad

name hey isn't that the shop looking

bassel pop his keister on your stolen

oil d*ck warning my new partner charming

isn't he check out the threads yeah

where does he get all a clam I don't

know yet but I'm gonna see what I can

dig up paint glad you got me skinny

Brazil no but I have fatso here on the

payroll and if you don't get your filthy

fins off me I'll have him on you Yeah

right okay spread them all ten of them

you buddy dogs like that to the port

don't get sore muscles your friend have

any idea who I am no introductions

necessary I recognized your kind this is

calamari he owns the joint sorry my

mistake let me buy you a drink how kind

why don't you make it around for the

house

hi John strike two dancers and angel hi

angel are you here to show me your

little piece of heaven oh yeah you want

to take the tool baby I always travel

first-class minute you swim in Joyce I

could see you were a fish of distinction

big spender sorry fun say would love a

breakfast angel for dinner I could get

used to this cuisine sounds like your

eyes are bigger than your stomach is

just swimming under too tall for my

taste I suggested bringing those knees

but how angel booze gambling chocolate I

don't if we could bring bass down with a

chocolate bar see my mother had problem

oh my sorry boy I do what I work the

shoes I don't care if its cache of candy

find out what it is now this smart bass

has got to go

was down that was good bass is taking

credit for it that was bad chief abalone

seemed happy that was good but I didn't

trust my partner and that was bad

because when a cop is trying to be that

good he's got to be hiding something

that's bad and what kind of a cop

doesn't wear a hat then there was the

time in clearwater i was telling these

three spiny poppers yeah you know what

they like when they're cornered of

course my partner froze on me so I had

to take him out myself got one on the

Left fin that's this guy right here any

questions just one are you single tab

where's the file on sea bass from the

Altoona PD right here uh sir I wouldn't

be right here uh sir I wouldn't bother

reading it though they couldn't say

enough good things about him that makes

two of us if you won't be needing me for

anything else sir I'd like to sit in

with inspector bass and take notes at to

tad looks like I've got a date with the

name Joe give her my best she's had your

best apparently it wasn't good enough

uh-huh yeah tonight got it uh chief

about the dwarf gourami bullion it's

coming down 2200 hours Worf warehouse

three months of work finally paying off

good good dwarfs at the w*r and Gil this

time when the photographer show up try

to get in the picture aren't you being a

little optimistic all 150 bars of gold

you think they can move that much

bullion at once I've done my homework

word is it's being driven out of fish

city tonight care to join our little

roadblock of course if you have a more

pressing engagement don't worry Gil I

can make both of them sh**t it's my

mother's birthday I've got to go call

her

you dwarf gouramis reach for the surface

we defy to be called little dramas I

don't care if you prefer to be called

Little Bo Peep you're going to the big

house not unless it's a felony to

transport chicken broth across state

lines sir chicken bullion but it was

gold bullion I knew it someone must have

tipped them off man I thought this bus

was watertight it was but we recently

sprang a slow leak

does that obnoxiously toothy smile me

and you've got something on that load

some sea bass I think you'll be

particularly pleased with what I dreamed

that's not exactly what I was hoping for

what this could be fun after my bust

went flat I was lucky I didn't get can I

couldn't prove it yet but I felt in my

gut this vast was on to take and that

left me in the soup ahoy pearls my

pearls my beacon my Haven my sacred

divine shelter she'd be on my side new

special huh well it's just like me beefy

a me extra dressing cheesy with lots of

letters baloney you know where are you

going you just got here I'm suddenly

feeling sick they say chicken bullion is

good for that ah

sandy there has to be something on

missing I no vas blew the whistle on my

bus but when the only time the guy was

out of my sight was when he went to call

his mother

didn't bass say

before the bus went south fast said he

was calling his mother huh only if he

used a Ouija board the whole borough was

bonkers over bass and I was about to

burst their bubble well not my point

another winner that fair sure can pet

them to where his brain was around when

you were sick and husband it's too bad

my brain wasn't around when I was

picking husband's where's abalone he's

having breakfast with mere cod humble

pie and chicken so I have to talk to you

chief after what I had to swallow this

warning you don't want to talk to me now

you don't want to talk to me later does

he coworkers no in fact you won't want

to talk to me until my retirement party

which by the way you won't be invited to

but chief it's about mass I got called

on the carpet this morning so you are

now my personal doormat you got a

problem with your partner there he is

deal with it I hate to interrupt this

male bonding but we've gotta jump up

we're on top of a building you want to

be a little more specific what you want

an address above the shell Shack

penthouse you best get on it now

this is Connie koi from klp reporting

live in the shell Shack will stay on

scene at the drama unfolds what is it

even I haven't had angel in the hood of

a car while stick it up your abalone

telling folks and we went up to the top

of the building what is that a whale

let's do it come on no need for both of

mystical way up there why don't I stay

way down here and coordinate things from

this end what's the matter bass your

face is starting to match my tie nothing

matches your tie including your jacket

I'm just a little do I detect a touch of

acrophobia Connie you want a scoop

hey lover fun what are you doing out

there depart wanted I should shine the

ball on the end of the flagpole look

come on I can't handle that lug by

myself besides don't you want to see the

view from up here wrong answer baci babe

come on out of fish thank you your

friend don't look to LP and they say

you're not smart beautiful day isn't it

the water so blue and look how tiny

everybody looks way way down there if

this mountain jumped he's gonna take out

a city block queasy stomach bass I hear

chicken bouillon is good for there I

know you busted my bus that gold bullion

belong to the feds and now you've got it

out on the street thanks to your timely

telephone tip to your mother hey we're

partners aren't we how does fifty

percent of mine twenty percent sound

like ten percent besides that would put

me on the take just like you alright

alright I admit it I'm 30 I'm as dirty

as that stain on your time let's keep

your confession on a professional level

okay

Connie did you get that don't worry I'm

sure they got your good side hey what

about me Let Go you boob you're in water

my car you mean exhibit a here chief and

if you check the trunk you'll find the

rest of the bullion gold not chicken

what took you all well chief bass told

me he put all his moolah into his wheels

I started figuring maybe he meant that

literally you also knew exactly how many

gold bars there were how unlike you to

be so sloppy get this bass out of my

sight good work you next time I'll

listen to you what was that for being a

good cop a good guy and just plain good

well some of us are just plain good

because some of us are just plain bad

there are times when bad can be good

angel now that's bad it was nice to see

things swinging back to normal and there

I've been worried that bass had taken

angel to new heights little

mum no chocolate yeah I'm sorry I made a

mess of things boy no contraire my loyal

underling you far exceeded my

expectations and so did inspector Gill

Oh predict stability it's so predictable

bass made his last transfer to Attica

last I heard he put the warden on the

worst-dressed list and then is up in

solitary but bass will be fine after all

it's all in the attitude or should I say

altitude you were pretty amazing up

there I'm pretty amazing down here too I

know that's why I've named a new

specialist

the hero sandwich what's all this can't

a carp change Wow just as long as

there's still some of the old k*ll in

there too why don't you frisk me and

find out you'd like that wouldn't you

you bet in fact I'll make it easy

Yuma slick any piranhas like you guys

got discriminating palates you liek a

young but you would eat my sandwich

Alex Foley's back as bad as ever and

he's facing lethal beauty Brigitte

Nielsen hey Murphy and Judge Reinhold

came up in the box of a smash Beverly

Hills Cop to tomorrow no swim away

tequila and banana is next