01x09 - Money (That's What I Want)

[bunniefuu]

[rock music]

Today I want your
full attention on Pythagoras,

who discovered A squared
plus B squared equals--

I just got a text
from Battle of the Bands.

Equals let’s talk
about Battle of the Bands.

What’s it say?

The entrance fee
is due in two days.

- Hmm.
- No problem. How much is it?

- $200.
- Problem.

And we can’t even ask
our parents for money.

That’s one of the downsides
of having a secret band.

Wait, this is a secret band?

Kidding.

Don’t worry, guys,
I’ve got it covered.

I stashed money in a book
for emergencies like this.

This one?

No. This one?

No.
This one?

Aha!
- Found it?

No, I’m just a sucker
for Jane Austen.

Guys,
if we don’t raise that money,

we’re not gonna get to play
in Battle of the Bands.

We’ve all gotta figure out
how to get money ourselves.

And fast.

What are we going to do?

We’re a band.

We can play on the street
for tips. I’ve done it.

Did you make any money?

I did it for the love
of music.

So no.

I’ve got a better idea.

I’ll charge people to watch
my extreme skateboarding tricks.

Who’s gonna pay
to watch you just--

Too bad I spent
all my birthday money

on these new Dunk Masters.

Lawrence, you’ve got
to think like a businessman.

Those sweet kicks
are limited edition.

I know. They’re sold out now.

Exactly! That’s why we can
sell them for double the price.

All you have to do is agree
you’re selling them.

- I’m selling them?
- If you insist.

You heard him, everybody.
♪ For he’s a jolly good fellow ♪

Wait, what’s going on?

♪ For he’s
a jolly good fellow ♪

Why are you singing?
I’m not on board with this!

But come on--
- Sorry, already sang the song.

That’s fair.

I’ll start
a "Text a Cupcake" business.

You text me who you want to send
a cupcake to, and I deliver it.

[cell phone rings]

Sorry, Mr. Finn,
I don’t have the cupcakes yet.

That’s cool.

I can wait.

Guys, the money problem’s
solved.

Who wouldn’t pay to see this?

[all cheer and applaud]

That’s a lovely ensemble.

Nice try.

I lost my board.

Do you think anyone would pay
just to see me be me?

[gasps]

♪ Stop tellin’ me
to read between the lines ♪

♪ It all adds up
to one thing ♪

Five, four, three,
two, one.

♪ If you think you’re gonna
lose your cool ♪

♪ Well, sometimes you gotta
break the rules ♪

♪ Hey, show me what you know,
give it up to rock ’n’ roll ♪

♪ ’Cause we ain’t
gonna stop ♪

♪ If you’re feeling like
you’re gettin’ schooled ♪

♪ There’s an answer
right in front of you ♪

♪ Hey, show me what you know,
give it up to rock ’n’ roll ♪

♪ ’Cause we ain’t
gonna stop ♪

- ♪ Hey! ♪
- ♪ Are you ready to rock? ♪

[rock music]

Whoa, this looks like
a real business.

Yeah, my phone’s blowing up
with cupcake orders.

[cell phone rings]

Ooh, another order.

[cell phone rings]

Ooh, another order.
[cell phone rings]

My friend Jennifer’s
getting braces--

[cell phone rings]
And she wants a cupcake.

Well, without my skateboard, I
don’t have a way to make money.

Maybe I could work for you?
- Seriously?

I mean, we’ll have to work side
by side, 24/7, holding hands--

- What?
- You’re hired.

Great.

Your first assignment is
to deliver this cupcake

to Laura in room 112
from her best friend, Regina.

To Laura from Regina.
Got it.

Oh, my gosh,
this is so exciting.

I know, our first
cupcake delivery.

Yeah, that’s totally
what I was talking about.

[rock music]

I don’t know, Zack.

I’m still not sure
about selling my Dunk Masters.

Are you kidding?

What do you need
these dumb sneakers for?

Get the world’s most
amazing sneakers here!

Trust me, you need these.

I’ve waited so long
to get them,

and now I’m giving them away.

You’re overreacting.

Life-changing sneakers!

If you don’t get these,
you’ll hate yourself forever!

I’ll give you 10 bucks
more than you paid.

This is all happening
too fast.

Believe me,
these shoes are worthless.

Seriously,
the best shoes ever!

So you won’t sell them?

Oops, got ’em mixed up.

Come back when you’re ready
to make a serious offer.

Just wait.

He’ll be begging
to pay double for them.

Oh, man, they are awesome.

I’ll pay triple.
Final offer.

Lawrence,
you can’t afford these.

But they’re my shoes.

It’s a bad system,
but it’s the best we got.

[rock music]

- Oh.
- Oops.

Five-second rule
says I pick it up

and I can still deliver it.

That cupcake fell in gum.

[laughs]
Good save.

[grunts]

Luckily, the person who
ordered this will never know.

Oh...this is awkward.

[rock music]

Tomika, I’m so glad

you decided to give
street performing a try.

Mm.
[mumbling]

Now, the trick is
to find a busy spot.

- [grunts] This seems busy.
- Mm.

I have the perfect song
I wanna sing.

That’s important,

because if you
believe in yourself

and sing from the heart,

obody could possibly
walk away from you.

- ♪ I used to wanna be-- ♪
- Gotta go.

Where are you going?

To get you a bigger tip jar.

I used to use a jelly jar

but stopped
because of the sticky money.

Also, the bees.

♪ I used to wanna be ♪

♪ Living like there’s only me ♪

Hi, you two look like
a happy couple.

Bigger tip jar coming.

♪ But now I spend my time ♪

♪ Thinking about a way
to get you off my mind ♪

Hey!

Uh, hey, folks,
how about a sing-along?

When I say "hey," you say "h*."

Hey!

Hey!

h*!

[rock music]

Ooh. Thanks
for coming in early, Freddy.

- No problem.
- I believe in lots of meetings.

Before school, after school,
every Saturday night.

Sometimes I go to the movies
on Saturday nights.

That works for me.
Pick me up at 8:00.

Summer, the cupcake I ordered
for Laura

was delivered to me.

And it looks like
somebody sat on it.

Freddy, what happened
to Regina’s cupcake order?

I think Regina here
explained it pretty clearly.

I will happily
refund your money

and deliver a proper cupcake
to Laura free of charge.

But then we’re losing money.

Freddy, the customer
is always right.

- You should fire him.
- Wrong!

What do you know?
You’re just a customer.

Thanks, Summer. I’m glad
my hard work is appreciated.

[sighs]

[rock music]

Zack,
I need those Dunk Masters.

I knew you’d come
crawling back,

but the price has gone up.

Whatever, just hook me up.

Where are the Dunk Masters?

Make way for the Dunk Master!

No! You can’t wear those.
We’re selling them!

What about Battle of the Bands?

I feel bad about that,

but I feel great
about my ability to Slama Jama.

- Hand ’em over.
- You’ll never catch me!

I run like the wind in these!

- Wh--
- [grunts]

[bell rings]

No!

Take off those shoes,
Lawrence.

Fine, you can have them,

but you should know,
my heart will be broken.

[both scoff]

[rock music]

How did street performing go,
Tomeeks?

- We did okay.
- I didn’t make a single penny.

I’ve done worse.

- How’d you do, Sum?
- I made $70.

- Yeah.
- Ooh, sweet.

After all the refunds,


both: Oh.

Wait, you give refunds?

The cupcake I ordered for myself
had a bite taken out of it.

Really?
Let me see it.

Yeah, I’d show you,
but I ate it anyway.

- No evidence, no refunds.
- [groans]

Freddy,
what were you thinking?

Uh...
you’re an excellent boss.

Aww.

Our contribution.

Wow, this is a lot of money.

You can thank
my man Lawrence.

Am I a hero?

That’s for others to say,

but the answer is yes.

Is that my lunch box?

Like you said,
we all have to make sacrifices.

By the way, if your tuna fish
didn’t already taste like feet,

it will now.

Guys, this puts us
way over the top.

We made the entry fee
a day ahead of deadline.

We’re going to Battle
of the Bands!

all: Yeah!
- Whoo!

We even have tons
of extra money.

Oh, do you think we could buy
some new guitar strings?

Well, if it’s for the band,
I guess you can take

a few bucks
out of the band bank.

[laughs]

If I take a dollar
to buy another cupcake,

that dollar goes right back
in the bank.

Fine, here is your cupcake.

Yes.

Mm.

Seriously?

[rock music]

Tomika, I took a few bucks
from the band bank last night,

and look what I bought.

Matching vests
for me and Freddy.

Why do you still
have the cupcake business?

We don’t need the money anymore.

Yeah, but if I close
the business,

I can’t take Freddy
to the company picnic.

[scoffs]

You said we’re only supposed
to take money

out of the band bank
for band-related purposes.

Mm. Like those new
skateboard pads?

These are...bass player pads.

[mimics bass]

Hey, you know what else
those could be good for?

Skateboarding.

Well, the band bank
will be fine,

as long as nobody else
buys anything stupid.

Yeah.

What’s that, Mr. Finn?

I got this for the band.

- Can I try it?
- Go away. It’s mine.

You didn’t use
the band money, did you?

Summer said we had extra,
so I figured

if I’m the only one who dips in,
it couldn’t hurt.

[sighs]
You’re not the only one.

Summer bought ridiculous vests.

Look who’s talking, kneepads.

What’s that?

I happened to come
into some money recently,

so I ordered a turducken,
which I thought was a pet

until it got here.

A turducken is a turkey

stuffed with a duck
stuffed with a chicken.

You eat it.

Well, I know that now,
but I already bought the cage.

I named him Daryl.

He’s quiet but loyal.

You used the band money,
didn’t you?

I’ll never tell,
and neither will Daryl.

[voice shaking]
Can you guys keep it down?

I’m trying to relax.

You bought a massage chair?

[voice shaking]
Chairs. Check it out.

It massages and moves!

Oh, my gosh.
How much did we spend?

Do we have anything left
for the entry fee?

[both scream]

both: Best friend scream!

We’re in trouble here!

What are we going to do
about Battle of the Bands?

The fee is due by 5:00 today,
and we only have $1 left.

I need a refund.
My cupcake has hair in it.

One little hair?

We don’t give refunds for--

Here’s your dollar back.

Great, now we’re
completely broke.

So...is the hair cupcake
up for grabs?

[rock music]

I can’t believe we made all of
these irresponsible purchases.

Yeah, it’s really
stressing me out.

Ah.

Summer said we could get stuff
for the band.

You said you needed
guitar strings.

You bought massage chairs.

Okay, I’m going
to be straight with you.

I’m not to be trusted.

We didn’t think anybody else
was gonna dip into the bank.

Guys, we have to come up
with 200 bucks by 5:00,

or we have to say good-bye
to Battle of the Bands.

I really think we should get
on the streets and sing.

I tried that,
but the Golden Statue Guy

took all the business.

Tomika, don’t give up.

Trust the music.

You just need a way
to get the crowd’s attention.

There’s got to be a way
we can use the stuff we bought

to make some money.

There is.

There’s only one thing
kids love more than ice cream.

It’s turducken.

Or what about massage chair
races after school?

We can sell tickets.

And I can make money
with "Text a Cupcake,"

but only if I resolve our...
delivery issues.

Yeah, we’ve gotta figure out
the flaw in the system.

Listen, Freddy, I didn’t
want it to come to this,

but I have to make
some tough decisions.

You’re fi...

ally getting the promotion
you deserve!

Yeah.
You know what I just realized?

Everything always
works out for me.

[rock music]

Thanks for coming, Mr. Finn,

but I don’t know
if it’s gonna work.

Tomika, I’m telling you,
music is the answer,

and we’re not afraid
of some two-bit talentless sta--

How does he not move?

- Mr. Finn!
- Sorry.

He’s just so good.

But we’re good too,

and we don’t need to resort
to cheap gimmicks

to make our money.

Yeah. Not us.

Power up.
[electricity whirs]

Hat me.

Guitars.

Okay, Mr. Finn, let’s jam.

♪ I used to wanna be ♪

♪ Living like there’s only me ♪

[electricity surges]
♪ But now I spend my time-- ♪

Uh-oh, my pants
are shorting out.

Now I look like an idiot.

I’ll be right back.

Where are you going?

To get my pogo stick!

♪ I used to wanna be ♪

♪ Living like there’s on-- ♪
Thank you.

♪ But now I spend my time ♪

♪ Thinking about a way
to get you off my mind ♪

Hey, you stole my tip jar.

How could I steal
your tip jar?

I don’t move.
I’m a sta--

I get it.

You don’t move
when someone’s watching.

I’ll take that.
- Give me that ba--

Haha, you’re never
gonna catch me.

Oh, no?

Uh-oh.

Tomika, we got this!

Tomika?

Oh, no, open manhole!

[rock music]

[indistinct chatter]

I can’t believe
people are paying $5

to watch us race
our massage chairs.

How fast do you think
these things go?

[laughs]
I don’t know, but I’m ready.

I put in extra gel.

Ticket prices are good,
but we’re gonna have to

jack up the cupcake prices.

They’re done.

- Oh. You cooked your turducken?
- Yep.

I seasoned it with rosemary,
basted it in olive oil,

and gave it
a sad handshake good-bye.

I’m really sorry.

Maybe we should have
a moment of silence.

Turducken tacos, $2!

Let the race begin.

Gentlemen,
start your massagers.

[buttons beep]
[massagers humming]

[voice shaking]
It is on.

[voice shaking]
So on.

On your marks,
get set, relax!

Whoo!

- This is awesome!
- Yeah!

I tell you, Summer,
Zack looks like he’s got

the heart of a champion today.

[gasps]
Look at Freddy go!

And his hair
isn’t even moving.

How does he do it?
How does he do it?

- Me too.
- There’s only one way out.

Set it to tingle!
- I can’t.

I’m so relaxed,
my arm fell asleep.

The overpriced snacks--
I’ll save them!

[power shorts]

- Oh.
- [gasps]

I guess I overreacted.

No harm done.
- Hmm.

For the love
of William B. Travis,

what is going on here?

You’ve got
a little something...here.

You are all in big trouble.

Principal Mullins,
have a seat.

You’ll feel better.
- No, no.

I do not think that anything
is gonna make me feel--

[gasps]
Ooh.

Oh, oh, oh, yeah, that’s it.

Oh. You’re still in trouble.

I’m going to have to--ah,
have to confiscate these chairs.

Boys, take them away.

- To the confiscation closet?
- No, no.

To my office ’cause I need to
keep an eye on ’em.

Well, at least we still
made some pretty good money.

And everybody
gets their money back!

[rock music]

[sighs]

If anybody asks,
I fell off my motorcycle

saving a puppy from a bear.

Ooh. What happened to you?

He pogo sticked
into an open manhole.

Saving a puppy from a bear.

How much did you make?

$0.

We made less.

A sewer rat ran off
with my wallet.

I can’t believe we won’t get
to play in Battle of the Bands.

We worked so hard
for nothing.

I don’t get it.
How did music fail us?

I didn’t even get
to play my song.

[rhythmic tapping]

[strumming on guitar]

♪ ♪

♪I used to wanna be ♪

♪ Living like there’s only me ♪

♪ But now I spend my time ♪

♪ Thinking about a way
to get you off my mind ♪

all: ♪Yeah, you ♪

♪ I used to be so tough ♪

♪ Never really gave enough ♪

♪ And then you caught my eye ♪

♪ Giving me the feeling
of a lightning strike ♪

all: ♪ Yeah, you ♪
- ♪ Look at me now ♪

♪ I’m falling,
I can’t even talk ♪

♪ Still stuttering,
this ground of mine ♪

♪ Keeps shaking ♪
all: ♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

- ♪ Now ♪
- ♪ All I wanna be ♪

♪Yeah, all I ever wanna be,
yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Is somebody to you ♪

♪ All I wanna be,
yeah, all I ever wanna be ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah,
is somebody to you ♪

♪ Everybody’s trying
to be a billionaire ♪

♪ But every time I look at you,
I just don’t care ♪

♪ ’Cause all I wanna be,
yeah, all I ever wanna be ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah,
is somebody to you ♪

all: ♪ Yeah, you ♪
- ♪ All I wanna be ♪

♪ Yeah, all I ever wanna be ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah,
is somebody to you ♪

♪ All I wanna be,
yeah, all I ever wanna be ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah,
is somebody to you ♪

all: ♪ Yeah, you ♪
- ♪ Everybody’s trying to be ♪

♪ A billionaire ♪
- ♪ A billionaire ♪

♪ But every time I look
at you, I just don’t care ♪

- ♪ I just don’t care ♪
- ♪ ’Cause all I wanna be ♪

♪ Yeah, all I ever wanna be,
yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Is somebody to you ♪
all: ♪ Yeah, you ♪

♪ ♪

[applause]
- Yeah! All right, guys!

That was awesome.

[rock music]

Dude, that’s gotta be close
to 200 bucks.

Mr. Finn, you were right.

Music was the answer.

We were doing it wrong
all along.

We were all trying to do
our own thing to make money,

when all we had to do
is do what we do best.

Play music together.

That’s right.

That is the lesson here.

And that I was right.

Guys, bad news.

We’re still $15 short.

What? No!
The deadline’s in ten minutes.

I can’t take
this emotional roller coaster.

Wait.

A bunch of girls tipped me
when I delivered their cupcakes.

Ooh!

We did it!
all: Yes!

Wait, you made
that much in tips?

How did you do that?
- I don’t know.

How you doing, ma’am?

Oh, right.

We’ve got to get the money
down to the club.

It’s four blocks from here.

Don’t worry.

I’m on it.

Yeah, that’s a bad idea.

We should just run.