05x46 - Spanish Fly

[bunniefuu]

Damn it. There's gotta be a better way to

get chicks. Yeah. It's like... I really

thought this one was gonna work this

time. Yeah.

Hey, Beavis. Let's check out the

bathroom. Sometimes they have good advice

on the walls. Yeah. Cool.

Whoa!Check it out.

Spanish fly.

Whoa! That's that stuff that makes chicks

hornyIt makes chicks hornyReally?

Cool! Let's get some! Yeah! Uh,

okay.

Hey, Beavis, now we can, like, have any

chick we want. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but

we got a rule. We're gonna score.

Um, how come that

guitar's in the hospital?

Okay, okay, you don't have to say

anything. Um, I asked you

a question, but um, but you knowThat's

okay. Do you have the time

to listen to me This looks like that

movie, uh, One Flew in the Cuckoo's

Nest. Oh, yeah, yeahThat's that movie

with all those dudes in taxi. Only

they're retardedUh,

you know, I think you're not supposed to

call them retardedYou're supposed to call

them, uh, like, mentally

superior or something. Oh, yeah, yeah

Remember that big Indian dude in that

movie?Mm-hmmHe was cool. And

then he couldn't talk unless he was

talking about gum. Yeah. Uh..

You know, I think you're not supposed to

say Indian, either. No way, really?Yeah.

I think you're supposed to call them

African Americans.

This reminds me of that joke. It's like

the guy goes to the psychiatrist and he

says, Doctor, my wife thinks she's a

chicken. The doctor says,Well,

then why don't you choke her?

That's pretty funny.

Hey, Beavis, if you, like,

abstract a chick, then I

can, like, stick it in her Taco.

No, wait, butthead. We have to, like,

give her the Spanish fly first. What the

hell do you think I'm talking about, butt

plugOh yeah,

yeah

Hey. How's it going?Is

there even one reason I should

acknowledge your presence?

Um.. Well... What?

Uh.. You look pretty hungry.

Actually, I suddenly lost my appetite.

Uh, no you didn't. I mean, uh..

You shouldn't, like, waste food and

stuff. Uh, 'cause there's, like, starving

people in, uh.. Indiana or something.

Yeah, yeahFor pennies a day, we can end

the suffering. I'll catch you later.

Uh.. Hmm

Okay. Check this out.

Uh, so like, that milk looks pretty good.

I bet it's like, uh, very refreshing

and stuff. Drink it. Drink

it. Come on. What the hell are you

talking about?It's not even mine.

Uh oh. Oh no. Let's get out of here.

Yeah. I think it's time for

class or something. Uh

oh, check it off, butthead, that's him.

Oh no, he's getting naked. Yeah,

yeahThat Spanish fly stuff must be

working.

What the hell is wrong with you?Uh,

I'm like, sick and stuff.

Like, I wouldn't want you to get too

close. Yeah, me too.

Uh, don't touch me! What did you say?Man,

you guys are really starting to piss me

off. Whoa,

he's really hornyBeavis and

Butthead, why in the hell aren't you

undressed yet?Uh.. Because a man

wants to have sex with us?Shut up and get

in the gym now! The sport of wrestling

represents competition in its purest

form. Man against man.

Now, Tommy, since you're about the only

student in this class with a physique

that doesn't make my colon clench, I want

you to choose an opponent. I choose

this little... Wait a minute.

No way. Damn it, Venus, you have been

challenged! Now get down on all fours!

No! No

What is this?Uh, I don't

really care.

Look at all these people just lying

around like a bunch of lazy slobs.

Yeah, really. They need to get up and get

a job. Yeah. Damn it.

Did you know that in California, any

chick will do it with you?Really?

You mean like, all the girls are

slutsYep.

Well, now that is cool. Yeah, yeah, let's

go.

You know, another thing about California

is like all the dudes there look like

Kato Kaelin. You know, I

mean, he seems like a great guy, you know?

Yeah. That's how come like,

you know, everyone just lets him live at

their house, you know, like OJ Simpson.

He goes, you know, you're a great guy.

Why don't you come on over and stay a

while?Yeah, I'd let him

crash here. You know, 'cause he seems

like such a great guy. Yeah.

What a great guy.

Except he kinda looks like the a*s end of

a dolphin. Uh..

Yeah, he does, sort of. But that's

okay. 'Cause he's cool.

Tommy, Mount Beavis! Now! Ah

Help! He's got a b*ner Uh Get off me

fart-mocker! Uh

Help! He's trying to do it with me! Uh

Cut it out! Kick him in the nabs, Beavis.

Whoa, that was cool. Beamon, get

back here! Hurry up, butthead. Let's get

out of here before he tries to screw us

all. That stuff really works.

What is that?Uh, it's a hoe.

Yeah, I know. But what's that thing she's

dragging behind her?

Ohh Why is that funny?Because,

Beavis, you thought when I said a hoe

that I was talking about the chick, but I

was talking about the hoe.

OK, but why is that funny?Damn it,

Beavis. Because, like, when a word means

two things like that, it's pretty funny.

I'll be damned. I

didn't know that. You know, it's like

choking your chicken. It could be like,

you know, if you had a pet chicken and

you were like choking it. Or it could

mean, you know, like you're choking your

chicken. Now that's

funny. Choking your chicken?That's pretty

funny. Yes,

I get that one. Okay, okay

I got one. Masturbating

That doesn't work, Beavis.

This chick has small nostrils.

Yeah, well, um, I think anybody's

nostrils would look small to you,

butthead. You look like a cow. Uh,

well, I may have big nostrils, but you

know what that means.

It means you have lots of loogie.

Okay, Beavis.

You'll be thinking about loogies and I'll

be slapping around my gigantic schlong